OFF THE DOME...

2013 - A (VERY LATE) Retrospective

2014-03-08T17:12:00.002-05:00

So, I just wanted to write a post to recap my year in 2013.

Overall, 2013 was blessed. The first three months were a little rocky, but God sustained me.

April was a breakthrough month. For one, Anointed Hands Learning Center opened. Two, I received a financial blessing that sustained me as we opened A.H.L.C.

We were blessed to see the childcare center steadily grow. We had a few hurdles, including the departure of a pivotal staff member, but the center continued to experience increase.

I had a couple of haters that were busy in 2013, but as the word says, "The LORD says to my lord: "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet." (Psalm 110:1)

I got a new vehicle in 2013! God is good, and God was totally behind me getting my Honda Accord, which I've named "Silver Bullet". Me and Silver Bullet have been very busy on these streets and highways over the past five months. Praise God!

I also lost a little weight in 2013. I didn't have much of an appetite over the summer, so I didn't eat much at all. I hope that, since I've made a few changes in 2014, I'll be able to be a better steward over this temple of God's.

Spiritually - it was a pretty good year, I suppose. God used me more, as far as teaching and Intercessory Prayer, than ever. It was quite the balancing act, trying to switch my mind from childcare-mode to pastor-mode, but God was with me. One particular highlight was when God increased me significantly in the gifts when I preached in November 2013. It's a long story, but God used me to preach/teach like never before, the anointing was on me like never before, and the gifts (word of knowledge, word of wisdom, prophecy, discerning of spirits, healing, miracles, faith) were flowing like I've never seen. I praise God for it!

The holidays were quiet for me. I fellowshipped with some saints for Thanksgiving (after I slept in for the morning), and my younger brother and niece/nephews held me "hostage" for Christmas.

Well, that 's my 2013 in a few sentences.

Grandpa - An assorted mix of recollections and remembrances

2013-07-02T18:23:00.001-04:00

Today would've been my Grandpa's 81st birthday.

But... Grandpa left this world almost 25 years ago (two weeks from tomorrow, I believe, is the anniversary of his passing).

I've been thinking about Grandpa all day.

All the baseball games he took me to - I remember going to see the Cincinnati Reds play at Riverfront Stadium, as well as going to see my uncle Hump play at different ball fields in the city).

I remember that Grandpa loved to eat candy corn, and would always give me and my cousin Amber candy corn when we were little; to this day, I CAN'T STAND candy corn.

I remember his car. Grandpa drove an old Mercury "something" (I can't recall the year or model, but remember that it was a Mercury). It was green, and it was comfortable. The seats felt like an old comfy couch.

I remember sleeping in the bed with him and my Granny when I was little. I remember loving to see my Granny and Grandpa together.

Then, I remember not seeing my Grandpa as much. When my Granny still stayed at the top of 13th Street, I remember Grandpa stopping by and giving me and Amber money. He'd talk to Granny for a few, then he would leave. At that age, I didn't understand what it meant to be separated.

I remember going to visit Grandpa. He moved to an apartment on Kemper Avenue behind the Walnut Hills Kroger. I loved going to see Grandpa.

I remember my mother telling me, when I was nine-and-a-half, that my Grandpa was sick, that he had lung cancer. I didn't know what cancer was. I remember asking when he was going to get better. She told me that he wouldn't get better.

I remember the last time I saw my Grandpa alive. My Daddy took me and my younger brothers over to his apartment - the one on Kemper Avenue behind Kroger. He had an oxygen tank next to him, and the tubes in his nose. I remembered being intrigued by the oxygen tank.

I remember my Granny calling Grandpa; it was a month before he passed away. I remember my Granny asking him if he wanted her to come and cook him breakfast. I remember that they were laughing, and it was a pleasant conversation, from what I could tell.

I remember my Aunt Biddy waking me up one morning in July. She was at my bedside, and she was like, "Jonathan, wake up!" I woke up. I can't recall exactly how she told me, but she told me that Grandpa died. I cried. I remember she trying to comfort me and telling me not to cry. Then, I remember my Momma being in the doorway, and her telling my aunt to just let me cry. I remember that my mother's face was tear-streaked as well.

I remember not wanted to eat or play. No one else remembers me being that way in the week between his death and his funeral, but I remember.

I remember the funeral. I remember looking in the coffin, and saying to myself (and later, to my mother and aunt) "I didn't know Grandpa had a moustache." I also remember meeting my great-aunt from Baltimore and I remember my Granny and my great-aunt from Georgia crying over some flowers (and Grandpa too, I hope).

I remember my Momma driving his car; I guess he left the car to her or something. I loved that car. But, we didn't have it long - something went wrong, and they junked it or something (Hey, I was only 10 when all this was going on).

Everytime something important happened in my life, I remember that Grandpa isn't there. It pains me a little that he didn't get to see me graduate from elementary school, high school, nor college. He didn't get to see me grow up.

He never got to hear me preach. I single this particular "missed experience" out because my aunts tell me that Grandpa used to tell everybody that I was going to be a preacher when I grew up, because I always ate chicken and liked to talk. I don't remember ever hearing him say that, but I wondered what his response would be if he lived to see it happen.

Of course, I've heard many things about my Grandpa from other family members, and friends of the family. Some of their recollections were warm, others were cool, and others were down-right outlandish. But, I thank God that I have my own memories, my own experiences with him, my own love for him, my own pain over missing him.

I miss that I didn't have a Grandpa to go to during my teenaged years. During that time, both my fathers weren't really around, and I believe that having him around may have made a difference in my outlook on life and myself.

I miss that I didn't get to have more conversations with him. Despite my love and memories, most of what I know is via third parties (my grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). At the same time, Grandpa's absence did make me determined to have more moments with my Granny, and my parents.

Well, I don't have much else to say about Grandpa John Henry Clark, Sr. I miss him, yet I thank God for the 10 years I had with him, and I hope that he knew the impression that he left on my life.

2012: A Personal Retrospective

2013-03-04T16:46:00.001-05:00

So, I know I'm three months late in doing this, but I'm hoping that the extra time has giving me more perspective on explaining the ups and down of 2012 (or maybe I'm saying this because it sounds better then saying "I'm procrastinating")

Overall, 2012 was a challenging year for me. I went through in just about every area of my life. I really didn't think about the tests and trials while I was in the midst of them, but toward the end of December, I had to look back and say, "Wow - I really went through this year."

I've seen some people around me say and do things that hurt. I wasn't really hurt personally, but I saw people get hurt by their bad decisions; and it hurt me to see them hurting, and it hurt me that I couldn't do anything to help them. I learned, on another level, about letting go and letting God.

I had to confront some insecurities that were hidden deep down; specifically, I had to confront the warped view of manhood and driving. Because of my upbringing, there were things that I wasn't able to experience that other children/teenagers go to experience - namely, the experiences of a driver's license and a car. I had spent most of my adulthood feeling that I was wasn't really a man because I didn't have a driver's license or a car. I felt that, when I acquire these things, that I'd finally feel as though I was a man.
Well, I got my driver's license in 2011, I got a car in 2012, and I lost the car in 2012 (the financing fell through after I drove the car off the lot... long story). After I got the car, and lost the car, I didn't feel more mature. I didn't feel like, "Ah - my manhood is complete." I didn't feel that I had arrived. So, I had to discover the source of the insecure feelings I had.
I realized that there were people around me that tried to make me feel some kind of way about not having a license/car because of their own insecurities. There were people that were perhaps insecure about what God had allow me to accomplish in regards to education, and people who were insecure about my relationship with God and how God has raised me up over the years. So, me not having the means to drive was something for those people to use to try to demean me and mess with my "self-esteem". But, God used the situation with the car to expose and free me, so I praise him!

Money - I went through in this area as well. I only got four months in with the IRS, and I only got $94/week in unemployment, and that got cut off in December... . yeah.

Daycare - We at Anointed Word Fellowship have been working on a daycare for about three years now. We had endured rule changes, personnel changes, personnel "sucka attacks", driving all over Ohio for training, and filing endless paperwork with the state. But, at the end of the day, we got licensed, and our opening day is fast approaching (and me earning an income again is fast approaching).

School - So, I'm currently enrolled in the Master of Education program at Grand Canyon University (focus: Early Childhood Education). So far, I am enjoying my coursework. I am learning a lot, and am excited that I'll be able to help the young children with the knowledge that I'm acquiring through my coursework. And, so far, I'm doing quite well in school. I pray that the next 20 of so months go as smoothly as the past two months.

Assistant Pastor - I'm still Assistant Pastor of Anointed Word Fellowship (AWF). Being in ministry presents many opportunities for personal growth and character building. God has brought together a unique group of people, with diverse abilities, talents, personalities, and characters. So, I've been able to interact, and even be challenged by these different abilities, talents, personalities, and characters. I give glory to God for keeping me for two years, for growing me, equipping me, guiding me, and teaching me to fight in the spirit realm like never before.

The future - Even in December 2012, God had been dealing with me about vision. I believe totally that many dreams/visions/prophecies that have tarried for years are going to manifest in 2013. I believe that I'm finally at a place in my mind/spirit/character/emotions where God can finally open some doors that had been previously shut.
I'm seeing it already this year - the daycare license, school... . I'm just looking forward to everything else that God may have in store!

Well, that's my 2012, in a nutshell. Laton!

Update (It's been a long time...)

2013-02-23T13:24:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time/ I shouldn't have left you/ without a hot blog to grip you/... (Gee - that might've been a little corny)

I've just been 1) BUSY and 2) Uninspired to write blogs. I've had ideas, but I've just found better things to do. For one, I wanted to finish doing the elaborations on my testimony bars (I've already done ex-smoker and ex-drinker). I haven't done a "Year in Review" for 2012 (and please believe that I've had MUCH to reflect on for 2012.
Oh - I forgot about the 3rd reason why my blogs haven't been manifesting on this page as I want them to - my comnputer screen went out! I was sitting here doing some work on good ol' Julie (that's what I had named my laptop - Julie) when the screen went black! The computer was on, but the screen was black! Since my funding wasn't suffice at the time, I just had to suffer without a computer for almost two months. But, I went and got my new laptop - I call her Shiba (short for Toshiba) - and I'm in full effect. Shiba is definitely an upgrade from Julie (new operation system, more RAM, the disc drive works, and so does the battery). Julie was a trooper - I had her for over six years - but it was time to move on.
But mainly, I'm been busy. I'm still assistant pastor of the church (local assembly) I'm a part of, I'm in the process of opening a daycare, I'm studying for a Master's in Education, and I'm working on a few ventures (God has given me the power to get wealth, and I'm going to go get it).

Forgive me for not organizing my thoughts above - I'm writing this blog off the dome.

So, over the next week, I hope to at least do a 2012 review. I may also take time away from my busyness to write about my busyness. I also need to take time to read the news so that I can blog about the news (The news is always fun to write about).

So, with that being said, I'll write laton!

Mixed Feelings: Men, Women, and Violence (Part I)

2012-10-16T00:41:00.001-04:00

Recently, I've seen two instances of men hitting women; the first was a movie scene, the second was a video clip of an actual incident. I'm finding that I have mixed feelings about what I've seen, and I'm going to blog about it and sort out my feelings openly.

So, I was up one night (couldn't sleep), and I ended up watching "A Family That Preys" on Youtube. It was an okay film, but the one scene that stood out is when Rockmond Dunbar's character found out about his wife infidelity (Sanaa Lathan played the wife). When she confessed the infidelity, he gave her a real-live backhand, and she flew over the counter.
I was shocked, but at the same time, I understood. In the film, the husband was faithful, hardworking, patient, and enduring. He put up with years of the wife belittling him and discouraging his dreams (the man also had ambitions) without a word. Then to find out that this woman was cheating on you for years and to find out that your son really isn't even your son... that man snapped, and she was too close to him in that moment. I couldn't believe that I was watching a man slap his wife into the next week, but I was... happy (???) to see her reap some of the ill seed that she had sown.

Then, today, I saw a video of a Cleveland bus driver who was attacked by a 25-year-old woman. The woman and the bus driver had exchanged words, then she apparently hit him and/or spit on him. The bus driver got up, and hit her with a Street Fighter uppercut. Then, he grabbed her up and put her off the bus.
I had the same feelings about this incident as I did about the movie scene - I hated to see a man hit a woman like that, yet it was another case of "you reap what you sow".

Even as I write, I'm torn in my feelings about seeing these two examples of violence against women (although one of them was fictional). I firmly believe that a man shouldn't hit a woman. I believe that a man is supposed to use his strength to protect, support, and elevate a woman, not tear her down.
Despite what so many women may try to portray, a woman is not just like a man. Physically, the average man is stronger than the average woman. On average, a woman is more emotional and more mouthy than a man. Women tend to battle with their mouths, and men tend to battle with their hands [in the natural, I'm not referring to the spiritual battle].

Maybe the problem I'm having is the fact that so many people in today's society (men and women) aren't as sensitive to violence in general, and specifically against violence against women by men. Many men and women shrugged off the bus incident with statements such as "karma" or "you reap what you sow" or "her mouth cashed a check that her @$$ couldn't cash" (I'm guilty of this). Some responded with glee to see this "unruly woman" get put in her place. Some marveled at the uppercut that this man used on the woman (I'll admit - it's been years since I saw an uppercut; I thought that punch went out of style with finger waves).

I need to think on this matter more (away from the computer). I'll continue this exploration later.

Ex-drinker

2012-09-09T03:27:00.004-04:00

It used to taste good to indulge in that fermented,
but God changed my taste buds after I repented!

As with smoking, I grew up around a lot of drinkers (probably could accurately use the term "alcoholics", but I'll use "drinkers" in this blog entry). And as with smoking, I was initially turned off by drinking as well. I didn't like the effect it had on certain members of my family, and I associated it with partying, and I didn't like all the partying that my parents/aunts/uncles/cousins did.
But, since it was always around, I was tempted as a teen. I remember sneaking sips of my mother's Hennessy when she wasn't home. I didn't particularly enjoy it (at the time), but I suppose I liked the thrill of doing something that I wasn't supposed to do.
But, then I went to college and, as with smoking, I got caught up. At first, I thought that beer was nasty, but I liked being drunk and eventually acquired a taste for it. And, I really enjoyed the harder stuff, because it got me drunker quicker. In case it's not obvious, I was in love with being drunk. When I was drunk, I felt more confident, more at ease with myself, more carefree... . I liked that... I just liked being drunk/wasted/smashed.

But then, I got saved. And, I stopped drinking for a couple of years. Then, I turned 21. My homegirl came to Oxford (the one that I spent a weed-filled weekend with - see my ex-smoker testimony for more about that). She took a brotha to the club and was buying me amaretto sours and long island iced teas, and I was guzzling them drinks like I was drinking kool-aid on a hot summer's day. I was super-smashed! I couldn't even walk down the street straight (but I regretted it the next day, for real).
After this incident, I drank at home. I felt bad that I was supposed to be a devout Christian on the campus, but I was wasted in the club on a Friday night, and people who knew me was up in the club too. I really didn't drink too much for the rest of my college days, but after college, I would (on the low) enjoy cocktails or a bottle of beer. And, when I was a socialist, I got it in!

Finally, toward the summer of 2005, I started feeling some type of way about drinking. I just felt "wrong" about drinking. The Holy Ghost kept bringing to my remembrance that "wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise". So, I prayed to God that he'd take the desire away from me like he did with smoking. And, I swore off drinking.

And, I haven't drunk anything since... no, that's wrong. Back in the Spring of 2007 when I called myself backslidding, I did get lit off Absolut with my lil' homie, and I had the hangover from hell the next day. That was 5 1/2 years ago, and I haven't had a drink since, not even really tempted. God truly delivered me from the bottle, and I give him praise!

#ex-drinker

Ex-smoker

2012-08-29T16:16:00.000-04:00

He took that "blaze" up out my lung
and put that PRAISE up on my tongue

It's still a trip to my, in some ways, that I actually have this testimony, considering the disdain I had for smoking. Yet, smoking (cigarettes, Black & Mild cigars, and especially marijuana) is something from which God had to save me.

I grew up with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other adults who were smokers; I think my maternal grandmother was the only adult in my life who didn't smoke at all. I remember all the smoky car rides, the butt-filled ashtrays, and running to the store with a handwritten note from my mother or one of my aunts to buy cigarrettes or rolling papers.

But, I hated it. I thought it was a waste of money to buy those smoky things (I was also considering all the candy, chips, and pop I could buy with the money being spent on Salem Slim Lights, Kools, and Newports). I swore to never smoke cigarettes in my life!
That's not to say that there was no temptation in my teenaged years. I remember that, when I was 14, I flirted with the idea of smoking a Black & Mild cigar. Honestly, I liked the smell. Cigarettes stinked, Black & Milds smelled nice. I wanted to smoke one to see if it tasted as good as it smelled. I went tand bought a pack one time, but before I could get enough nerve to open it and smoke one, my brothers kicked in my door and saw the Black & Milds. In embarrassment, I threw them out the window, and I gave up on trying those cigars.

So, I get to college. I never smoked anything, and was a bit of a goody-two-shoes when it came to smoking and other vices. I was shocked to see classmates and dorm-mates smoking cigarettes and weed. I couldn't believe that people who were smart enough to be in college would be foolish enough to smoke [and do other stuff]! I generally tried to stay away from the smokers; I wasn't trying to be judgmental, but it shocked me, and I didn't know how to "take" my peers who were smokers.

During fall break of my freshman year of college, I decided to stay on campus and hang out (most of the students used to three-day weekend to go off campus to visit family and friends). Well, on Saturday night of the fall break, I went to check on the guy that lived two doors down from me. Unbeknownst to me, he and several of our dorm-mates were in the midst of a smoke session [with marijuana]. I was shocked to see them smoking weed, especially in our smoke-free dorm, but was intrigued because it was the first time I've ever seen Caucasians smoking weed. So, I went in the room to hang out with them, but didn't intend to smoke anything. However, one of the guys started talking this stuff about how marijuana isn't addictive and how it makes you feel good and a whole bunch of other b.s. that seems stupid now but made sense at the time (I probably had caught a contact at the time and didn't even know it; but then, I was so naive then that I didn't even know what a contact was). Then he ended his endorsement of marijuana with "I'm not trying to pressure you...".
Of course I was intrigued. So, when I was asked if I wanted to give it a try, of course I said yes! I let them show me what to do. I inhaled, and of course I choked on the first couple of hits. But that third time, I inhaled it correctly, and I held it in like they told me to. I remember feeling at though someone went inside my brain and hit me on my skull with a little hammer. Then I remember feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Then, I remember everything being funny, and laughing at everything that everyone was saying. I can't remember how long I stayed in that room, but I remember leaving and going back to my room with the munchies. I ate some Doritos, drank Hawaiian Punch, and fell asleep in the middle of the floor with a white sheet wrapped around me.

I loved marijuana. I loved how it seemed to make food taste better, how it made everything funnier, how it made my head spin, how it made me so relaxed. At the same time, I felt guilty. I had always tried to be an example to my younger siblings, and here I was, loving weed. But, I didn't stop smoking.
I also finally started to smoke Black & Milds. I went to the Ameristop on Spring Street and bought a pack of Black and Milds and smoked one of them on the walk back to my dorm. I wasn't a frequent smoker of Black & Milds, but I did love the smell of them, and they held me over until I was able to get some weed.

After I had been a Christian for about six months or so (right around the time I got filled with the Holy Ghost), I started feeling bad about smoking. Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ testified about how God delivered them from weed, so I assumed that I couldn't smoke weed or Black & Milds anymore since I was a Christian. So I stopped smoking... for about eight months.
My homegirl was leaving Miami U, and she wanted to smoke with me one time. We had never smoked with each other, and she wanted to get a 20-sack and get it in. So, despite that Holy Ghost conviction, I put in, and we got lit the entire weekend.
After that smoke-episode, I would go on weed binges, meaning that I would forsake smoking weed for a period of time (six months to two years), then I would get offered weed, and binge for a period of time (from a few days to a few weeks). Then, I would feel bad and stop smoking.

I remember having a conversation with my mother in March 2002 (two months before she passed away). I told her about how I wanted to go smoke some weed. She told me not to be like everyone else. "I smoke weed, your Daddy smokes weed, your brothers smoke weed. Don't be like us, Edward. You've always been on something different - stay that way." That conversation stuck with me, especially since that was one of the last times she and I sat down and talked before she died of a brain aneurysm two months after we talked.
I did take her words to heart, and I wanted to be "on something different". But, I was grieving, heartbroken, and STRESSED! So, I started smoking Newports to deal with the stress, and to stay away from weed. I wasn't a "regular" smoker of cigarrettes though. I would buy a pack, give 1/2 of them to beggin' niggas on the streets, and after finishing off a pack, I would forsake smoking until the next time I was stressing and found myself buying another pack of Newports.

In November 2004, while I was praying to God, He started dealing with me about how I needed deliverance from smoking. I tried to reason with God, by saying things like, "But I'm not a regular smoker", and "I went without smoking for two years - twice - so it can't be that big of a deal." But, God kept convicting me about it. He made me to realize that they only reason I stopped smoking was because I didn't have and money, or because I was in situations where I couldn't smoke (like when I was was living with my best friends). He showed me that I adtually loved the smell of marijuana and Black & Milds, how I would sit around smokers just so that I could take in the smell. He showed me that the fact I would say, "I went without smoking for two years - twice - so it can't be that big of a deal" showed just how deceived the devil had me in this area. So, I sincerely prayed, "Lord, deliver me from smoking."

And He did. About two weeks after I prayed for deliverance, I was walking from the Main Library in Downtown Cincinnati. Two guys walking in front of me were smoking a blunt. The smell hit my nose, and I was so turned off by the smell that I actually had to turn and walk in another direction just to get away from that smell. As I walked away, I asked God what was that all about; he told me that he took the taste for smoking out of my mouth. Not only did the desire leave, but I actually became disgusted by even the very smell of cigarettes/marijuana/Black & Milds.

However, there was a period where I tried to smoke again. In March/April 2007, I left God and "called" myself backsliding. After I made the decision to backslide, I decided that I was going to go back and resume all those vices, including smoking and drinking. I got hold of a Newport, and tried to smoke it. I took one puff, and almost threw up! It was as though I had inhaled a mouthful of dirt! I put out the cigarrette, and knew that I'd never pick one up again. I also tried to smoke a joint during this period. My younger brother was smoking, and I asked if I could hit it. He was hesitant to let me hit (he knew that I had been delivered, and he was disappointed that I was backslidding), but he gave in and passed me the joint. I took a couple of puffs, and NOTHING HAPPENED - I didn't even feel the smoke hit my lungs! I didn't get high, didn't choke, nothing! Nothing happened! So, I knew then that God's deliverance was bigger than my attempts at backsliding.

And, I haven't touch any of that stuff since.

#ex-smoker

Testimony bars

2012-08-29T14:47:00.002-04:00

First and formost, my apologies for not being diligent in posting blogs. I had thought about posting, but I just wasn't feeling writing for a season. God had to rekindle my love for writing and reading, to be honest... but I'm not here to have this conversation today.

I wanted to talk about something that I've been doing on Facebook this week. Everyday this week, I've posted "bars" of my testimony (basically, a couple of rhyming lines describing what God has done for me and what he's delivered me from).

Actually, I didn't plan to do this. I was in fellowship with a few of the saints after church on Sunday, and I said in the midst of our conversation that "He took that blaze up out my lung, and put that praise up in my lung!" One of my sisters was hyped over that couplet, and was saying that I should turn it into a song. Then, I said, "I'm gonna put that on my Facebook!" She said, "Tag me if you do it!". So, when I got home, I logged onto my Facebook and posted those bars (except for replacing the second "lung" with "tongue", it's the same thing I said when I was with the saints).

When I checked my Facebook on Monday, I saw the status sitting there, and I wondered aloud if I could come up with more "testimony bars" - and almost instantly, I thought "Eyes would carefully watch chests, backsides, and thighs - I thank God for redirecting my eyes". So, that was the next one that I posted. And, God has given me bars to post everyday, sharing what's He's done for me.

I suppose I'll post testimony bars until I run out of bars or deliverance testimonies (probably the latter).

But also, I plan to start writing daily on my blog about my testimonies. I want to elaborate on what God has done. For example, "He took that blaze up out my lung, and put that praise up on my tongue!" - I would like to elaborate and tell the story behind the lines. So, look forward to me sharing my story... .

Update (April 25/26, 2012) - writing

2012-04-26T01:37:00.003-04:00

One reason that I haven't been as diligent in blogging is because I've really been considering if I should change the way in which I blog. Currently, I log onto blogger.com, and write off the top of my head on whatever topic is on my mind in that moment. I may have an idea of what I want to write, but the writing itself is spontaneous.

However, some "discourse" that occurred on Facebook several weeks ago has made me take pause and consider my approach to writing.

So, I was on Facebook and saw a video where recording artist Lecrae was "teaching" on the subject of tattoos. I commented on my Facebook page that I thought the video was a hot mess (among other things, he took scriptures out of context and he used inaccurate illustrations). Well, some of the Christians automatically took my comment as being legalistic, biblically erroneous, and proceeded to get "fly" on my Facebook page (and one person even made a Youtube video about me).

Now, I'll keep it real and say that, honestly, I wasn't totally prepared to biblically defend my comment like I know I could. Well, it wasn't so much the "hot mess" comment that I had to defend, but why I teach against tattoos. I've done research on the topic of tattooing (or marking, which is the term used in the Holy Bible), but didn't have my source material on hand; the saints weren't willing to receive what I had to say on faith (and I can't get too mad at that, considering all the false doctrine going forth these days). Then, it seemed as though some folks still wanted to feel some kind of way even after I brought forth scripture and other sources on the matter.

That situation on Facebook did make me think though. I was wondering if I should stop writing off the top of my head and be intentional in what I write. On one hand, I want to be free to write whatever is on my mind (whether on a blog, on Twitter, or on Facebook). On the other hand, I'm a minister of the gospel, an ambassador of Christ; I always have to represent the faith first. Some people may try to misconstrue MY random thoughts and opinions into a judgement against Christianity or even against God, which I most definitely don't want to happen.

I'm praying on this, and I'll see how God leads me. Until then... .

Laton.

Update (April 25/26, 2012) - Driving

2012-04-26T00:42:00.000-04:00

Busy.

That's been me! Busy. Work, church, cleaning, driving, and writing have been wearing a brotha out!!!

Yes - I did say driving! God opened the door for me to get a vehicle - a red Nissan Versa. I love "Candy" (her name - I also call her "Ta-dow" and "see me red" as well) - she's comfortable, good on gas, and easy to maneuver.
I've definitely been getting it in with the driving. I've driven all over Cincinnati (I think Pleasant Ridge and Kennedy Heights are the only city neighborhoods I haven't hit, and a couple of the eastern suburbs). I drove to Oxford (and was SALTY I didn't have time to grab some SDS or a toasted roll). I drove to Batesville, IN for some Doritos (that one of my deacons told me that I could've purchased at Sam's Club; I got to get a Sam's card).
The main thing about driving is that I feel so LIBERATED!!! I truly feel that I can come and go freely! I don't feel limited by the time and route of the Metro! I was able to hop in my car and drive to Indiana - I wasn't able to do that before. I was able to go through the drive-thru at Rally's - normally, I would've had to catch two buses and get there before the walk-up window closed. I was able to go to the laundromat and wash all my clothes at the same time, instead of using the laundry room downstairs (there's only three washers and dryers, and usually, only one dryer works because some crackhead always tries to break into the other one that works).
The enemy fought me for a long time in this area. I seriously spent many nights feeling that I would never drive, and that no one could understand my plight. I would find someone to take me out for lessons, and then things would come up in their lives that hindered them from taking me to practice driving. I would save money for driving school, then something would come up where I had to re-appropriate those funds. I would get pissed at people around me who were quick to criticize the fact that I couldn't drive, but offered no solutions or help.
Even in getting my drivers' license, as well as my vehicle, the enemy was fighting. People tried to tell me that my brother and I wouldn't get the rental car so that I do some more practicing and take my driving exam. I had nightmares the entire week before I took my test. The enemy tried to divide me and my brother. I had to rebuke irritability and heaviness that week.
With getting the car, it really stretched my faith. I said that I was gonna step out on faith and go get a car. I hopped on the bus and on the Internet and looked for a car. I had limited funds, but God did exceeding abundantly above what I could ask or think.
I remember the day I got my car (after all, it was only a couple of weeks ago). I had talked with the gentleman at the dealership. I told him that I would come over after work. After work, I caught the bus to Downtown Cincinnati to handle some kingdom business. Then, I rode the 23X out to Tri-County. I remember that I was thanking God that the bus ride to the dealership would be my last bus ride. And, God honored my faith. I drove off that lot with Candy, and went to church to pray, praise God, and rejoice in his provision for me.
Then, God really encouraged me with a prophetic word that Bishop Booker spoke on Friday. He basically let me know that now that I've overcome in this area, that things will be different now in this area. He let me know that I wouldn't have to go through in this area anymore.
Even as I write this blog, I'm feeling emotional. When I drove away in my car, it was as though a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I would no longer have to fight against words that were spoken over me, people trying to make me feel stupid because I went to Walnut Hills [High School], but didn't have a license, or that I went to college, but didn't drive, or that I was a preacher, but had to ride the bus or the church van to church. It may sound silly to many, but I feel liberated, mature, and joyous now. I feel that I'm moving forward like never before.

Forgiveness 1.1

2012-02-18T04:30:00.000-05:00

The following is an article that I've written for a newsletter.

Good News: Forgiveness

by Pastor Jonathan Daniels

Praise the Lord, readers! I wanted to share some good news today, something that I’ve personally experienced and grown in recently – forgiveness. Now, I know that this topic –forgiveness – may not be the most exhilarating or soul-stirring one to discuss, but God recently revealed to me a new understanding of the power and freedom that comes with forgiveness.

Recently, I had somewhat of a confrontation with someone close to me. In the heat of our “spirited” discourse, the other individual spoke some things contrary to what God had spoken to me regarding my ministry and my life.

After that meeting, I felt indignation rising up from within – this person said some hurtful things to me. The enemy almost immediately tried to flood my mind with thoughts of doubt regarding my ministry, my place in Anointed Word Fellowship, my direction in life, and even my relationship with God. So, I was alternately indignant and warring with the words spoken to me/over me.

Whenever I have a mental tug-of-war, I go into my prayer closet with my Bible; this time was no exception. While in the midst of prayer, God spoke to me in a small, still voice - “Use your weapons. Forgiveness is a weapon.”

Forgiveness, a weapon? But then I remembered II Corinthians 10:3-4:

³For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:

⁴(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

And I realized that, in my flesh, I wanted to give somebody a piece of my mind. Just as they had come up against me with words, I wanted to really respond to them in kind. But, the above scripture let me know that I can’t respond carnally, because I’m in the middle of a spiritual war; I have to use spiritual weapons to win my battles.

Then, the Spirit led me to another scripture – Luke 23:34:

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” This is, of course, a familiar passage of scripture to many believers, including myself. But, this time, I saw it with new eyes. I realized that Jesus had an understanding of the spiritual ignorance of his enemies better than the average Christian. He realized that they really didn’t understand what they were doing. In their minds, they felt perfectly justified in the judgment levied against Jesus Christ. They really didn’t understand that the devil was using them against Jesus! They didn’t understand what was going on spiritually! So, Jesus, right there on the cross and with this understanding, was able to pray for forgiveness of his enemies in his weakest moment.

Likewise with my situation – that other person thought that they were expressing themselves. They didn’t realize that the devil was using them to try to cast a shadow of doubt over all that God has done and is doing in my life. They didn’t realize that they could have potentially veered me from my God-given destiny, my “expected end”. So, just as my Lord and Savior understood the spiritual ignorance of his enemies and forgave, I also forgave.

In forgiving, I was freed from indignation, anger, and doubt. I was instantly reassured of God’s plan and purpose for my life. I was able to pray for the spiritual scales to be removed from that individual’s eyes. And most of all, I received forgiveness from God.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

(Matthew 6:14-15)

Forgiveness

2012-01-19T18:05:00.001-05:00

Earlier this week, someone came to me and said some things that made me HEATED. I mean, I was ready to disown a person I was so mad. Now, I know to expect persecution for righteousness sake, but when certain things are suggested subtly, and when innocent people are attacked, or I'm told I'm something ungodly by another Christian... I was hot! So, I had been fuming since that conversation.

Now don't get it wrong - I've never tried to present myself as perfect, as holier-than-thou, or Pharisaical before men. I'm striving toward perfection, but I also believe that there's a standard that a Christian ought to uphold, in word and in deed. Ok, sometimes people fall short, sometimes change is slow to occur; but the standard (holiness) is still the standard.

But for someone to try to say I'm hypocritical - another Christian at that - it hurt, it offended, it had me ready to come up out of the Spirit on a person.

But, as I was doing some cleaning around the house today, God reminded me to defeat the devil with forgiveness. By walking in forgiveness truly, the enemy can't try to bind me with offense, bitterness, hate, or any other form of ungodliness. Just as my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ walked in forgiveness, even while on the cross ("Father forgive them for they know not what they do"), I too must walk in forgiveness.
God also brought to my remembrance II Corinthians 10:3-5 (The weapons of our warfare are not carnal...) - basically, I can't defeat carnality with more carnality. That would be like bringing a can a gasoline to a 3-alarm fire. So, I had to also remember Romans 12:21 - Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. So, God reminded me that to overcome the attack from the devil through that person was to fight carnality with spirituality. So, I used forgiveness to defeat the devil.

Naturally, within our own selves, we want revenge. We want for others to know the pain that they've caused us. But, God is calling for me (and all Christians) to respond supernaturally (above what the natural response may be). So, I forgive. I hold no ought.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you

(Matthew 6:14)

Day 12 in '12 (Love God/Standing)

2012-01-12T16:06:00.000-05:00

I was just sitting here with my thoughts and Jai singing "Stand Alone" in the background when I had something of an epiphany. I thought about what the first commandment said; in Matthew 22:36-40 it is written

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments".

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Honestly, I've felt pressure implied/applied to me to accept certain things. People and situations that I care about in varying degrees have challenged me with the above-quoted verses. I love people, but I've had to wonder how far to go in my love for my people.
However, looking up the scripture was/is a relief for me. No matter what, I have to love God first. I have to love God before I love my neighbor. I have to love God before I love myself.
People love to talk about how we have to love our fellow man; of course this a true statement - the Bible says so! But, honestly, I believe that people overlook the first part of the passage - Love the Lord Your God... .

I'm wondering if God is requiring/calling me/forcing me to love him on another level; or maybe, to show my love for him on another level. If I say I love him, I know that I can't approve of certain situations. I know that I can't fellowship with people who approve of certain situations (or who are in certain situations). I know that many may say that I'm doing too much. I know that many may not want to be around me... .
Not just dealing with outsiders, but internally - If I say I love him, I have to even put him above me. In so many ways, I have put him above me (after all, I'm in ministry - which I didn't ask for, I'm in Cincinnati - even though I'd love to leave, and so on). But, is there anything about me that contradicts my love for God? Is there anything that I refuse to let go of that, in some way, would compromise my love for God? Do I truly love God first?

So yeah - this is what I'm thinking about today... .

I'll holla.

Day 12 in '12 (Disappointment)

2012-01-12T15:00:00.000-05:00

I'm very contemplative in 2012 so far. I'm thinking very hard about some things... .

You see, over the past few days, I've seen, read, and been told things that... on one hand, I knew, and on the other hand, it's still a bit jarring that I've seen/read/heard certain things.

Yes, jarring is the correct word. The conversations, the words, the sights have indeed had a harshly disagreeable and disconcerting effect on me. I had high hopes when it came to certain people and situations, and thus far, I'm 1-4 in 2012.

I'm not saying that I wanted people and situations to conform to my will, my desires, and/or my standards, but I thought that... .

Well, let me use an illustration to describe what I'm trying to say. It's as though someone I love has fallen and is barely hanging on to the edge of a cliff. I throw out a rope for them to them to grab hold on and climb to safety. Yet, they refuse the rope.
Or like telling someone not to drink iced tea laced with arsenic. Even though I've told them that "Hey, that iced tea is laced with arsenic - if you drink it, you're putting even your life in jeopardy"; they respond with "Un-uh - I can't see or taste any arsenic" or "You must mean some other glass" or "You're doing too much".

Basically, I expected to see more thought, more spiritual maturity, and more humility from people and situations. At the same time, I'm hurting over certain people and situations. I care about people, I want the best for people. It hurts to see people who are/have been hurt, and their responses to hurt. It hurts to see people who don't see unseen danger. It hurts that people don't even care about the danger, and don't want me to care, seemingly.

I know I probably sound vague, since I'm not identifying people and situations. But, I just had to express my feelings at the moment, and I decided to just share "off the dome"... .

I'll holla.

2011 (Reflection)

2011-12-30T18:37:00.001-05:00

So, I'm doing an end-of-the-year blog at the end of the year this year. I usually wait until the 1st of 2nd week of January to reflect on the previous year, but I'm bucking that trend this year, and I'm going to reflect in these last moments of 2011.

Events
It's been an eventful year. I've reached a few milestones this year that I didn't foresee coming. I didn't think I'd get my minister license/ordination this year, but I did. Not only that, I never imagined that I'd be named Assistant Pastor of Anointed Word Fellowship. Honestly, I was praying that God would send an minister from outside of Cincinnati to be Bishop Booker's Assistant Pastor; but, God had other plans.

I got to go to Gatlinburg this year. I loved the trip down there! It was one of the more serene weeks of the year (I can't say the most serene - when you travel with 60 other people, you usually don't get to do everything that you wanted; but I still had a blast). AWF went to Gatlinburg three years ago, but this year we had more time to do more things, such as going to Clingman's Dome and trying new restaurants (still didn't do any shopping, but that's all right).

My brother came home. I've missed my younger brother, and it was great to have him home again. He made some mistakes, but it's been awesome to see God redeem him and change his course. Now, he's in college, he's doing music again, and best of all, he's serving God!

Of course, I GOT MY DRIVER LICENSE!!! What a way to cap off the year! Operation: License was a success!

Spiritual Warfare was a big thing this year. I've never had to fight so hard in the spirit realm in all my life! The devil tried to get into a few people and cast doubt on me being Assistant Pastor. Then, the warfare in trying to get my driver license was intense (it took a week to finally get a rental car, my brother and I had to stand against division, and the examiner at the BMV must've took a sip of haterade before my exam). Mostly though, the enemy tried to discourage me and frustrate me in my thoughts. I spent more than one night crying and repeating II Corinthians 10:3-5. I've studied/reviewed Joshua 1 and II Corinthians 6:3-10 at least twice a month. I did what my Co-Pastor always tell me to do, and pressed my way on.

2011 was a great year for me. In so many ways, God did exceeding abundantly above all that I asked or thought. Spiritually, financially, emotionally, and mentally, it was perhaps the best year that I've had at this point in my life.

Looking Forward
I have to do more physical work. Honestly, I let my health/body go. After I came off a 33-day fast in 2010, I was eating healthier (no sugar, whole grains, less fat). But, I started back on caffeine, and it was downhill from there. I got better about eating fast food, but I gained about 80 pounds over the last two years. So, I'm going to do an extended fast sometime over the first weeks of 2012, and I'm going to HAVE to change my eating habits. I'm considering vegetarianism again. I was a vegetarian for about six months, and that was probably the healthiest six months of my adult life. I slept better, I had more energy, I felt lighter, I ate better, and I lost weight. At the very least, I'm definitely cutting back on meat.

I want more spiritual growth. I grew this year, but I need more. I want to be even more of a help to my Bishop and Co-Pastor, and I want to be more of an example to not just the saints at AWF, but to those around me. I want to spend more time in prayer and fasting this year. I want to be more of a "light in the midst of darkness" in 2012. Additionally, I want to continue to work to see the vision of Anointed Word Fellowship manifest in the next year (empowered disciples, more outreach and soul winning, more healing and miracles, new edifice, daycare...)

Operation: Get-car will definitely go down in 2012. I have things to do and places to go, and I don't plan on just having my driver's license for show... .

I hope to do more traveling this year. AWF isn't going to Tennessee this year, but that doesn't mean that I can't travel. I'm definitely looking into going to two family reunions in Georgia this summer (my maternal grandmother's people and my maternal grandfather's people). I would either like to try to go to the ocean (I've never seen the ocean). I would like to visit Chicago again this year (Taste of Chicago?). I'm even considering a trip to my favorite place in Tennessee (there's some restaurants I'd like to try).

I also hope that something happens in the "relationship" area in 2012 as well (smile)... .

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, that's all I have to say about this year. It's been great, and I don't think I can even imagine what God has in store for 2012.

I'll holla.

Operation: License

2011-12-30T11:44:00.000-05:00

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Co-habitation (#tired)

2011-12-20T00:22:00.000-05:00

Today, it just rose up in my spirit - an utter disgust for co-habitation and the need to talk about it.

At first, I just put a post on my Facebook page saying Boys and girls play house, men and women get married and make homes. Then I posted a few more comments. Finally, I decided to just write a blog and get it out of my system.

Cohabitation usually refers to an arrangement where two people decide to live together on a long-term or permanent basis in an emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationship. The term is most frequently applied to couples who are not married. (from Wikipedia). I am against cohabitation (or shacking, as I like to call it). Ultimately, people will do as they please, but I wouldn't be who God called me and designed me to be if I didn't speak on it from a Christ-centric view.

I just can't understand what's wrong with marriage. If two people are willing to live in the same space, sleep in the same bed, and even (in many cases), bring children into the world, then why not do the adult thing, the righteous thing, and get married?

I think of several scriptures off the top of my head, including the following:

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:22, NLT)
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband (I Corinthians 7:2-3, KJV)
²²Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ²⁴Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ²⁶That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. ²⁹For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Ephesians 5:22-29)

In light of these scriptures, it should be obvious that a male that won't marry a female, but will cohabit with her, really doesn't love her. He may love the sex, or the free room and board, or the other benefits that may exist, but if he really loved her, he'd marry her and love her as Christ loved the church. Christ sacrificed for the church. Christ is long suffering with the church. Christ is kind to the church. Christ took care of the church. And if a male isn't willing to suffer, be kind, love unconditionally and take care of a female, then he needs to be honest and stop wasting that woman's time.

And if a woman knows that she has issues with submission, then she needs to be honest with herself and not try to have a relationship with a man. It's sad that some women will cater to a boyfriend, or a "baby-daddy", but when it comes to marriage and a husband, they get brand-new. The thing is, according to Ephesians 5:22, it's unto the Lord!!! A woman's submission to her husband is a reflection of her submission to God. If a women refuses to submit to a husband, that lets me know that she isn't submitting to God; she needs to tighten up her walk with God before even thinking about a relationship. And, the thing is, if a woman isn't obeying and submitting to God when it comes to cohabitation, that shows a lack of submission. Submission isn't cooking, cleaning, running bath water, giving a man sex whenever he wants it, and/or giving a man control of "your" life. Submission is reflecting the believer's relationship with God in a marriage. Submission is seeing Christ in the man and trusting in him to love you (woman) as Christ loved (agape) the church. When a man is truly of God, he'll be willing to say, "I do". He'll be faithful to you (woman) and God. He'll uphold, protect, and cherish you.

The thing that really burns me about cohabitation, though, is when children are involved. It's shameful that males and females would be selfish enough to put curses upon their children. Yes - I said it. Cohabitation is cursed. Let's be honest - usually, when a couple shacks, they don't get married; usually, the relationship fizzles out after a few years. So then, the children coming out of cohabitation relationship will most likely grow up in a broken home after the parents split ways. Then, the children will grow up with perverted views of manhood, womanhood, marriage, and family. Then, when those children reach adulthood, they'll either repeat the life (which really even life) modeled by the parents, or display some other form of dysfunction in their relationships.

Ok... I'm tired of writing. But, I was soooo fired up about 90 minutes ago. I'm tired of males not doing right by the these females and these children. I'm tired of these women settling for less; yes, less - a real man will come with marriage. I'm tired of children in adult bodies who's got life all messed up and won't be honest with themselves and others about what they want out of a relationship.

I'm done. I'll holla!

Thankful

2011-12-04T01:59:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to share a piece of my evening on this blog...

Tonight, we had a dinner at church to celebrate Co-Pastor Booker's birthday. Usually we have Intercessory Prayer Service on Saturday evenings, but tonight we had a big seafood dinner (Co-Pastor LOVES seafood).

After eating all that lobster, shrimp, crab, tilapia, and other stuff, we took a few moments to sing praises unto God; it's always appropriate to lift him up in his house.

But Bishop Booker spoke something today that really connected with me. He spoke about being thankful and reminded us to be thankful for all that God has done for us. As he talked, I reflected upon 2011, and I started to cry as I reminded myself of just how good God has been to me.
I mean, he's provided my basic needs - shelter, food, employment (well, an unemployment check for the moment), clothes. I also have a cell and Internet at home. My brother is back home after four years, serving God and attending college. I'm walking in my call to ministry (as hard as it is at times, but that's #TheLifeOfAnAssistantPastor). My bills are paid and my refrigerator is full. I'm healthy. I'm on top of the dirt instead of the dirt being on top of me.

I write this because I was feeling a little frustrated and restless in life. Sometimes, we as people look so hard at what we don't have that we overlook all that we have before us. I was feeling like that earlier, but God reminded me again of just how good he's been to me.

I also want to encourage anyone that may be reading this blog. God's been good to you as well. The fact that you're reading this blog says a lot - you can read, you have access to a computer/Internet, you're alive... . God has been good to you and I!

Well, that's my "off the dome" thought for the moment. I'll holla!

Bits and Pieces (Paterno/Penn State, Kim Kardashian, Intra-racial issues)

2011-11-10T15:05:00.001-05:00

In reading about the local/state elections, I've also read quite a bit about various current events. I've also watched a few thought-provoking (I'm using that term loosely) videos on Youtube as well. So, I'm just going to give a few thoughts on a few issues. I was going to do a video, but since I'm writing...

Penn State/Joe Paterno
Wow... . On one hand, I'm wondering why these men (the coaches, university officials) didn't call the police. I know people who were molested as children. I have nieces and nephews. I an a minister, and we have a good number of impressionable children in our church. If someone was to touch one of those children, or any child, I would have to do something. Children are precious, and adults HAVE to protect them. The devil always tries to yoke people with various yokes of bondage during the childhood years, mainly through abuse (physically, emotional, mental, sexual), neglect, lack of affirmation, and so forth. Many adults are walking around in society hurt, bitter, lost, spiritually bound and/or confused because of molestation and other tragedies that occurred during childhood. And, I'm even thinking that if someone would have stood up and put a stop to this when it first happened, then several more boys could've been saved. But, their silence enabled these gross crimes against children.

I can't excuse the poor lack of judgement that these men exercised, but I've tried to consider their mental/emotional state at the time. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I walked in on someone that I loved, respected, and trusted molesting a child; I know that I would be distraught. I also would like to believe that I would step up to defend the defenseless. Men are supposed to use our power, strength, and vigor to protect and uphold righteousness. I can understand that the grad assistant (now assistant coach), Paterno, and others may have agonized and been in turmoil over this situation, but they surely didn't respond in the right manner.

In short, my heart and prayers go out to all involved, especially those young boys. I hope and pray that the "accused" is able to get some help, because a person who would violate children is spiritually sick, and is in need of healing, deliverance, and a renewed mind. I pray that the Paterno, the Penn State coaching staff, and the Penn State administration will learn from this incident; I pray they learn to defend the defenseless, and that while loyalty is highly important, some issues/people/convictions are bigger than loyalty and friendship. I don't condemn Paterno and the others, but I would be remiss not to speak on the fact that they used VERY BAD JUDGEMENT in the situation and that their lack of wisdom has done more harm than good (the "accused" was unable to get help, additional boys were molested, reputations and legacies were tarnished).

Kim Kardashian
I saw a clip from ABC News about this, and I also saw a blog post about Ms. Kardashian on one of the blogs that I read regularly. According to ABC News, she's getting a divorce from Kris Humphries after a few months, she's starring in a reality show (her and her sister; I think this is the second season for the show), and she's starring in Tyler Perry's new movie, The Marriage Counselor.
The reason why I even mention Kardashian is because many Tyler Perry fans are having a sucka-attack over Kim Kardashian starring in this movie. They all say things like, she's not an example of morality and that Tyler Perry should've known better.
That's hogwash to me. There's been a load of actors/actresses that have starred in other Tyler Perry movies that haven't exactly been "poster children" for good morals. Even in nearly every Tyler Perry movie I've seen, there's been behavior portrayed that I've questioned (and ultimately led to my non-support of Mr. Perry).
Honestly, I think most Tyler Perry fans who are mad are mad because Kardashian is white. Yes, I said it. All the starring ladies in Tyler Perry's plays and movies up to this point have been African-American. Tyler Perry's fan base is primarily comprised of African-American women. So, now, all these "sistas" are feeling some type of way about Tyler Perry giving the lead role to a "white girl", but they won't keep it real and want to use "christian-nese" to cover their true feelings on the matter... this is my observation on the situation.

Intra-racial issues (Light skin/Dark skin, Good hair/Bad hair)
I was on Youtube earlier in the week, and I saw a few videos from a couple of women that I subscribed to, dealing with a fair-skinned, curly-haired woman who was griping about discrimination from the natural hair community. These two ladies, "Himay10nance" and "QueenNaturalBeauty" responded to the video, not defending the natural hair community, but addressing the irony of the situation (a "light-skinned", "good-haired" woman complaining about discrimination).
Apparently, there was an uproar over these two ladies' response videos, with folks leaving all types of unsavory comments and folks even going as far as to contact "QueenNaturalBeauty"'s Corporate Sponsors (she's an entrepreneur and media personality) and threatening to contact "Himay10nance"'s employer (according to videos that the ladies made).
Wow... .

But, the issue that I wanted to bring up dealing with this whole light-skinned/dark-skinned situation is that I've yet to hear anyone, especially women, address how MEN perpetuate this whole controversy. In just about every discourse I've participated in, no one has addressed that most of this issue surrounds one's perception of beauty based on what men think. They may mention that all the "video girls" are light-skinned, but they don't question why the singers/rappers usually pick light-skinned women to star in the videos. No one questions why men are STILL saying things like, "You're cute, for a dark-skinned girl", or "She's a cute little chocolate thing", or "Wow - you're the prettiest dark-skinned girl I've met"; I've never heard of a light-skinned women being subjected to such comments (example - "You're pretty, for a light-skinned girl"). No one deals with the role of men - instead, these women would rather fight each other, as always, and never bring change to the situation.

I may do a video speaking more on this issue and post it up. I did one, but my phone ran out of memory, and in frustration, I deleted the seven minutes of recorded video. I'll see how I feel tomorrow....

**************************************************************

Personally, I'm good. I'm in prayer for some people in my personal life (of course, there's always souls that need salvation, and some people in my life need encouragement and physical and/or spiritual healing).

I'm still praying for my city and pondering the things I wrote about in the previous blog (Haters: Cincinnati Edition).

I'm quietly working on some writing projects, and I'm always getting it in for the Kingdom (ministry, administration, prayer, counseling, prayer, et cetera).

Until next time - I'll holla.

Haters: Cincinnati Edition

2011-11-10T13:47:00.001-05:00

Hello, my name is Jonathan Daniels, and I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. I was born here, raised here, educated here (well, I went to college at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, but that's close enough), and I live here.

I write today regarding my reactions (and other people's reactions) to the results of the recent local/state elections, and a sense of negativity that I've perceived for years in this city.

Yesterday (November 8) was election day; yes, I did vote. Locally, the election was a big surprise to many as four incumbents (all Republicans) were unseated and replaced with three Democrats and an former councilman (Christopher Smitherman) who ran as an independent candidate (Here's a link to an article regarding the election results).

The thing that's bothering me most with the elections is people's reactions. In the article that I read (which I've provided a link for in the previous paragraph), there was an interview with Councilwoman Leslie Ghiz, who lost her bid for reelection. The article reported the following as her response:

Ghiz said she didn't feel particularly sad about the loss. She was relieved she wouldn't have to face a December of contentious budget battles. She did say she and her husband would put their North Avondale house up for sale Monday. They'd been waiting for the results to make a move.

Really??? That sounds like a really sore loser to me. More than that, it makes me believe that she wasn't really committed to her service to the city, but to the benefits of being on city council - $66K a year plus benefits, name recognition, and so forth. I'm compelled to put her in the category of being an opportunist; and now that the opportunity is passed, she will be moving on to different territory (the 'burbs).

Also, I read many of the comments that were left in response to the Enquirer's article; all I could do was put my head in my hands before logging off. The main gripes that were posted about the election were dealing with the fact that now that there were seven Democrats on council, that Cincinnati is going to become Detroit (I'm assuming those people are inferring that Cincinnati will be met with financial ruin). These commentators claimed that this new council will raise taxes, spend money that the city doesn't have, empower the "thugs" and other "have nots" of the city, and force the tax base out of the city.

Now, I was very disappointed in hearing that people would write such negative comments about their outlook on the future of our city, and that people were actually expressing a desire to just give up on the city and find a suburb to relocate to. We don't know for certain how these new council members will interact with each other, the mayor, and other city officials; in fact, the newly elected council persons won't even take office for another three weeks.
But, bigger than the election, bigger than local politics, is the issue of self-hatred in Cincinnati. Too often, I hear people be so negative about Cincinnati. Yes, there are many things that need improvement in Cincinnati - and the Number 1 area of improvement for Cincinnati is ATTITUDE.
People here have such an negative attitude in general, and don't even take time to appreciate the positive things about living in Cincinnati, and even living, in general. Cincinnati schools are continuously improving. Cincinnati has some of the most respectable schools in the nation (including my alma mater - Walnut Hills High School). Cincinnati has a unique cuisine (Cincinnati-style chili, Grippos, LaRosa's, etc). Cincinnati has some stunning river views and some awesome city and county parks. Downtown Cincinnati has one of the livest skylines one could ever drive up on. Cincinnati is one of the most centrally located cities in the country (you can reach most of America's major cities in less than 12 hours). Cincinnati is home to one of the livest churches in America - Anointed Word Fellowship (I know that was a shameless plug, but it's my blog - lol). I could continue, but I think I've made my point that there is much to celebrate in our city.
Yes, there are issues (financial issues, housing issues, employment issues, public safety issues). But, those are issues that can be improved and remedied. But, with the average Cincinnatian seeming to only desiring to expressing his/her sense of hopelessness and/or looking to escape to some suburb or other city, how can we really improve upon the issues and celebrate the great things going on?

I could write more on this issue, and there surely will be part 2 sometime in the future, but I just needed to get this out there. People in Cincinnati really need to seek God for hope and optimism. If we don't believe in Cincinnati, neither will others.

October 2011 (The Month from Hell/ #TheLifeOfAnAssistantPastor)

2011-11-02T19:00:00.000-04:00

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sooooo glad that it's November!

October 2011 was off-the-chain for me, spiritually speaking. The spiritual warfare was on a level that I hadn't experienced before! I stayed fighting thoughts in my mind, discouragement, heaviness, and the desire to walk away from all that God is doing in my life. All I wanted to do was stay in the bed with the blankets over my head and play Angry Birds (lol).

But God's word and God's promises gave me just enough strength to persevere. I had to recall Galatians 6:9 (And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not), II Corinthians 10:4-5 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong heolds;) Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;), II Timothy 2:3 (Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ), and other passages of Scripture.

God is good.

I even did a quick video talking about October; here it is -

Update - October 18, 2011

2011-10-18T07:01:00.000-04:00

What's goin' down??!!!

I just posted a new blog - Part Three of Worldly Artists Fronting As Gospel Artists, and I thought it apropriate to provide a quick update of my life.

I've been getting adjusted to my brother. He just returned back to Cincinnati from a four-year, state-funded vacation (just a cute way of saying that he was incarcerated for four years). He's staying with me until he can get back on his feet. So far, it's been cool. Me and my brother have always been close. And, he rededicated his life to Christ and got filled with the Holy Ghost , and he joined Anointed Word a week after getting home, so at least we've been on the same page spiritually. And, he's doing most of the housework now, so that's a beautiful thing. The only thing that I really could complain about is that he is VERY inquisitive and like to ask questions A LOT. Oh well - I guess that's #TheLifeOfAnAssistantPastor and #TheLifeOfABigBrother.

Church is well. We're getting closer to accomplishing some of our goals, about to see the fruits of our laboring. I could say more, but I hold faithful to this saying - Tell somebody something, but don't tell everybody everything. I'm still growing in ministry, and God is constantly taking me out of my "comfort zone" (as Marvin Sapp would say), and provoking me to raise my expectations of myself, my life, and ministry.

Well, it's 7:00am, and I haven't been to bed. I'll holla!

[Christian] Enablers: Worldly Artists fronting as Gospel Artists, Part 3

2011-10-18T06:45:00.001-04:00

Enabler (n) - one that enables another to achieve an end; especially :one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.

This has been an issue that's been on my mind for a long time, but two things that happened over the past four days have compelled me to speak on it finally... .

As a Christian, I recognize that I'm engaged in a spiritual battle against the forces of darkness (Ephesians 6:12 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, againstspiritual wickedness in high places). I know that I have to stand on God's word, and that I have to pray, be watchful, and so forth.

I'm also aware that I am not to give space for the devil to work; Ephesians 4:27 even says to "neither give place to the devil." But oftentimes saints, in our pursuit to do something "big" for God, end up being enablers for the devil. We enable him to achieve an end, which is to [try to] undermine God and the church (ekklesia).

For example, the other day, I learned, via EX Ministries, that Christian rapper Lecrae was on the BET Hip-Hop Awards. I don't own a TV, and if I did have one I wouldn't dare watch BET (but I'm not here to talk about BET - that's another blog). But, on the show, they had various rappers do cyphers on the show. I watched what EX Ministries said about it on their blog, and I decided to pull up a clip on Youtube and see it for myself

I had several problems with this performance, but the main thing that kept ringing through my mind is this thought - how many Christians who normally wouldn't have watched BET/The Hip-Hop Awards tuned in just to see Lecrae. They saw Lecrae, but they also saw and were exposed to artists who were mocking God, using profanity, and spewing forth lyrics that weren't godly at all.

I'm just gonna keep it 100% - these artists (Christian rappers, gospel singers, preachers, and/or any Christian who is somewhat-to-well known) who go on shows like the Hip-Hop Awards, the BET Awards, 106 & Park, Oprah Winfrey, The Mo'Nique Show, Larry King, et al., deceive themselves to believe, and [try to] deceive the body of Christ into believing that God has blessed them to get on such a platform to preach/share the gospel with unbelievers. But in reality, all they're doing is getting church folk to watch worldly entertainment. Honestly, I wouldn't have even gave the Hip-Hop Awards a second thought if I hadn't learned that Lecrae was on the show.
And truthfully, I really can't see how God was glorified in the situation. All I saw on Twitter after the fact (yes, I got on twitter to see the reacters) were tweets along the lines of "You ripped it" or "My man @Lecrae beasted the BET cypher" (not exact quotes, I've paraphrased). Most of the commentary I've seen regarding Lecrae's appearance was along the lines of how talented he was and how secular artists and unbelievers had to give Lecrae his due... where's God in all this shoulder patting?
Don't get me wrong - Lecrae is a very talented artist. I personally own three of his albums - After The Music Stops, Rebel, and Rehab (I wasn't really feeling Rehab - may have to mention why in another blog post). And, I sincerely believe that he thinks he did something big for God. But for real, all he did was get a bunch of church folk to watch worldly programming. He basically got "pimped" by BET and the Hip-Hop community to get additional viewers for their programming.

The second thing that happened that "provoked" me to write about this is learning that Mali Music is now going to be mananged by [secular] artist/producer Akon.
No, that sentence is not a typo or an April Fools joke (it's October). I was on Facebook last night, and a saint mentioned that J Moss said that he wanted to work with Chris Brown (not surprised at all) and that Mali Music signed with Akon (yeah, I was totally caught off guard). So, I went on Google to do some research, and found an article on The Gospel Guru that broke it down for me. Not only is Akon teaming up to manage Mali Music along with Releve Entertainment and Soundwalk Music Group, but Mali Music has been in the studio with Akon, and has co-wrote, produced, and performed on Akon's upcoming [secular] album. Now, maybe Akon converted from Islam to Christianity since I've last heard [anything] about Akon, but really, it isn't likely.

I just took a break from typing to look up Releve Entertainment. I couldn't access their website, but I found the following description on The Merge Summit website:

RELEVÉ ENTERTAINMENT

Relevé Entertainment, founded by Dr. Holly Carter, is an LA-based firm representing urban crossover talent, with a focus towards packaging and managing family and faith-based products for mainstream success. Relevé also specializes in artist management, where intersecting involvement in the genres of film, television, and music is the focal point. The company helps guide and develop the careers of Deitrick Haddon, Cece Winans, Donnie McClurkin, Mali Music, Bishop Greg Davis, Dr. Debra Morton, Myesha Chaney, Johnny B. Williams, Kierra Sheard and Usher.

Wow, and SMH (shaking my head). I'm shaking my head because I'm wondering about the implications of "...with a focus towards packaging and managing family and faith-based products for mainstream success." My thing is this - all the gospel artists listed in the description above, especially Deitrick Haddon, CeCe Winans, Donnie McClurkin, Mali Music, and even Kiki, all talk about how they're ministering when they perform and how they're in it to glorify God and exalt him and all that good Christian talk. Yet, this company is outright saying that they're focused on ensuring the mainstream (read: secular) success of these artists. Yet, they're all being managed by the same people who manage Usher.
I'm feeling some kind of way because I actually enjoy these artists. I've been listening to Deitrick Haddon, CeCe Winans, and Donnie McClurkin since I got saved back in 1997. I was feelin' Kierra Sheard even since she sang on "The Will Of God" on her mother Karen Clark-Sheard's debut solo album Finally Karen. And, when I discovered Mali Music two years ago, his music was like a breath of fresh air from all the worldliness that I was sensing in gospel (that I'm YET seeing in gospel music).
I guess I'll wait and see what's going on (even though I see what's going on)... I'm seeing that, as time progresses, the amount of music that I purchase decreases. I don't buy secular music (R&B, rap, pock, rock, et cetera), because I want to hear Christ-centered music when I turn on my mp3 player. But, now, it's like I have to group most of this gospel music in that same category. When secular artists, secular producers, secular samples, and secular promotion is all up in this so-called "gospel" music, then why buy the gospel when I'm being exposed to the same carnal mindset and the same demonic spirits as the secular music?

Lord, where are your set-apart musicians???

Shei Atkins

2011-08-27T00:11:00.000-04:00

So, I was on charismamag.com, and I came across an article where gospel artist Shei Atkins announced that she was leaving the gospel music arena and would be soon releasing an R&B debut. Atkins gave as the reason for her departure from gospel music as being that the church is too judgemental.

Personally, I enjoyed Shei's music. The article stated that while some of her songs got airplay, gospel radio wouldn't play certain songs because they felt that they were too "controversial". For example, the song below, "Temptations", many stations thought it was too controversial to play on the radio.

I like "Temptations". Would I play it during a worship service? No. Why? Because I don't feel that it's the place to play "Temptations". I would play this song in my house, or while I was riding down the street. I feel that the song is a reminder to stay pure and to please God.

With that being said, it's one thing to be discouraged by naysayers. I can't speak to whether it's a situation where some people were being Pharisaical in their approach, or if Shei couldn't receive correction/counsel. Either way, to go sing R&B music is not the solution to the situation.

The main thing that bothered me, though, was the following quote from Shei:

Now, three years since her last album debuted, Atkins is releasing a secular album—her fourth—titled Emotional. Her new album allows her to freely minister the way she feels God is leading her, without limitations, she says.

I can't, for the life of me, figure out how she's going to be freer to "minister" in the R&B arena. The Bible says that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty; the Spirit of the Lord is not in R&B arena, so how would she be freer to "minister"??? No conprendo...

I just pray that Shei Atkins would find a way to withstand naysayers and/or receive sound counsel, and that she'll return to gospel.

Mr. Ambassador (deep breath)

2011-08-25T16:45:00.001-04:00

I've posted the following on my Facebook page today:

I have 809 friends, I mean 808 friends. People from many different walks of life, people of many opinions, thoughts, lifestyles, and so forth. But, it may be about time to dwindle my circle of Facebook friends to a more... "set apart" group. Praying about this (and quietly deleting some).
Ephesians 6:19-20 - "And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in bongs; that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."
I'm learning (well I knew, but it's becoming more real to me), that all of us who are called to preach are ambassadors...
An ambassador is the highest ranking diplomat who represents a nation and is usually accredited to a foreign sovereign or government, or to an international organization... The word is also often used more liberally for persons who are known, without national appointment, to represent certain professions, activities and fields of endeavor.
One reason why I'm going on about "Ambassador" is that I can't understand why some people get upset at ambassadors of the Kingdom of God for truly representing. An ambassador represents the interests, governance, values, and culture of his/her native land...
And me being a Christian, I'm supposed to be that ambassador, representing the interests, governance, values, and culture of the Kingdom of God. I can't make people agree with what I represent, but I can't be/stand for anything else...
Ok, I think I'm done for now...

This is just what's been on my mind today. On my Facebook, I do know most of the people on my Friends list personally (in varying degrees, though) - there's family, friends from church, high school, Miami U., CCU, work; people that know people I know, fellow alumni from college, people who I connected with via different sites (Youtube, MySpace, etc). Out of that 808, I've had a conversation (in person, by phone, or via e-mail/IM) with at least 700 of them.
And this group of people are wide in backgrounds, opinions, beliefs, and thought. Of course, there's plently of Christians, but even those Christians are diverse (and even divergent) in their different theologies. I also have friends that are Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic, Jewish, and other belief sets. I have friends that are Democrat, Republican, Socialist, and "middle of the road". I have friends that are heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual. I have friends that believe as I do, and some that stand against what I believe.
The point is that, despite the fact that there is some area of disagreement with most of these friends, I have love for each of them, and I have enough respect for each of them to see them as a unique person. However, I'm starting to wonder about this. Not so much about my approach, but I'm wondering if/how I will be able to really be me (a Christian minister/ambassador), and maintain many of my interactions on Facebook....

I wonder this, particularly surrounding the issue of homosexuality. I've studied scripture, I've read the scripture in English, Greek and Hebrew, I've read the Septuagint (in English and in Greek), I've read writings from the early church historians, as well as contemporary writers (inside and outside of Christianity), I've prayed on the issue, and try as I may, it's sin/immoral/not-of-God. I don't get on my Facebook and say it everyday, but that's where I stand. And, it seems that some people are down-right hostile to anyone that isn't pro-gay. I find it unnerving that a lot of people are fine with everything and everyone except for a Christian that truly takes God's word at face value; I don't understand that (but then again, thinking about "what is written", it all makes perfect sense).

I really don't know what else to write. All I know is that I have to stand on what I know. And, I'll be in prayer about certain people/situations/etc.