Off the Menu

And the Next Great Food Idea Is …

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:56:18 PDT

As much as I hate commercial television (primarily for the commercials), I occasionally succumb to the mindlessness and have the set on in the background. Every time I do, I’m reminded of why I turned the damned thing off in the first place.

Case in point: Had the tube on yesterday in “background noise” mode, when a commercial jumped out of the clutter, demanding my attention. The product: Freschetta PizzaMore, the latest frozen pizza product from the Schwan Food Company (who also make Red Baron, Tony’s, and other brands). But the pizza wasn’t what caught my attention, it was that it comes pre-sliced.

That’s right: pre-sliced.

The minute I heard that, the Eggo commercial from 2003 (where they introduced Eggo Maple Syrup) ran through my mind. Rocket surgery, pure and simple. Rocket surgery.

What the bloody blue blazes have we come to if we don’t have time to cut up a pizza? Are we so busy that we can’t take the extra, what, 15 seconds to whack a slice out of a pie? Or, are we so afraid that we’ve forgotten how to use knives that, to keep ourselves safe, we invent products that remove the need for them?

Wait, hold the phone. Knife-less food. Would work well on airplanes. Ok, so maybe there are places where that would be an idea. But … still … what gives?

What’s next, you might ask? What will human ingenuity invent next? I’ll tell you and (unlike the plethora of “make a million dollars … if you buy my book” hustlers) I’m going to give the idea away. Right here, right now. Free. Take it and become the next great idea.

Here it is: Pre-chewed food. Think about it:

Nothing to cut up. No knives.
Reduces (or eliminates) stress on your teeth. For that matter, you can enjoy it even when you have no teeth, so a consumer could purchase the product for a longer period of their lives (more profits to the business).
Guaranteed textural consistency.
A complete meal could be served up out of a yogurt tub. And, if the tub is “green”, so much the better.

It’s not as revolutionary a concept as you might think. Native Alaskan tribes will pre-chew whale blubber before feeding it to people too weak to chew their own food. No worries, thought, the Aleuts don’t hold a patent on the process.

There you go: Pre-chewed food. Go forth and gather VC support.

But remember: You learned about it here.

Grilling Poll

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:55:49 PDT

Dom Deluise Passes

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:06:37 PDT

When I learned of Dom's passing, my brain immediately flew back to a cooking CD he released. A little digging on YouTube turned up this:

He will be missed.

Happy Tur-drunk-en Day

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:40:22 PST

Wow. It’s been that long since I posted? I’ve got to get in the swing of being more consistent. What a year.

At any rate, 2 years ago I posted some advice for Thanksgiving cooking for the culinary challenged, it’s only appropriate that we do it again. This year, here’s another take on the traditional faire (taken from a variety of sources online):

Ingredients:

1 Turkey (sized appropriately)
1 bottle Scotch whiskey

Instructions:

Take a drink of the whiskey
Put turkey in the oven
Take 2 drinks of whiskey
Set the degree at 375 ovens
Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Turn the oven on
Take 4 whisks of drinky
Turk the bastey
Whiskey another bottle of get
Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Glassh yourself a pour of whiskey
Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Take the oven out of the turkey
Take the oven out of the turkey
Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Turk the carvey
Get yourself another scottle of botch
Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

"Well, Where's the Pleasure In That?!?"

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:13:36 PDT

While shopping at Sam's Club this evening, I came across the following item:

I guess it had to happen. What started with "sugar free" sweeteners (remember saccharin?), moved on to decaffeinated coffee (remember Sanka?), and then passed through alcohol-free beer and tofurkey while stopping off at sparkling grape juice has now brought us to "wine-free ... err ... wine". Great, wonderful, fantastic, I can hardly contain my excitement: we've got the basic components of "synthahol" down ... just backwards (or sideways, or something).

Medical science has started to accept the fact that there are good things to be gained from drinking red wine. It was only a matter of time before an enterprising businessman turned it into a marketable item (what with all the pomegranate, goji, and acai elixirs now on the market. I'll buy that ... to a point.

Yet another example of how we allow ourselves to experience things (or parts of things) without having to actually experience the things in reality. Stupid. Oh, yeah, it'll probably make money ... but that doesn't make it smart.

Oh, and bonus points to who can tell me where the title quote came from.

Food Game Friday: Stand O' Food

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:00:01 PDT

This Friday's game, Stand O' Food, is another "arcade assembly" style game from those great folks at Reflexive.net:

Build burgers, in the right order, for an ever increasing flow of customers before they get irked and leave. Earn extra money with topings (ketchup, curry, tabasco, "special sauce") but don't waste too much time saucing or you'll lose patrons.

Adventure mode not enough for you? Try "lunch rush". No levels, just more and more customers and more complex burger orders.

You'll never look at fast food the same way again.

Food Game Friday: Sushi Frenzy

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:00:02 PDT

What can I say, I'm addicted to food assembly games, and reflexive.net has a ton of them. Today it's Sushi Frenzy, and it'll have you rolling in nigiri in no time:

Are you as fast as a sushi chef? Find out!

Food Game Friday: Cooking Academy

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 04:00:00 PDT

Dual-Platform Alert! This Friday's game, Cooking Academy from reflexive.net, is available for:

The PC:

And the Mac:

Think you're limber enough to prepare a variety of recipes? Let's find out! Cooking Academy takes you through the rigors of culinary school, from the simple to the sublime. With each instructor tougher than the next, you'll definitely find yourself "in the weeds" from time to time but if you persevere, you're knife skills will be rewarded!

Wine for the Unsure

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:13:47 PDT

One of the things I'm involved in is ChefsUSA (which does in-store cooking demos in 21 states across the country) as the account coordinator for the LFHI account. That means I both demo in a Byerly's store twice a month and manage the scheduling of 9 other locations, as well as fielding questions from the chef "fleet" on the account. Believe me, questions come from all over the board, and from both customers in the store as well as chefs in the program.

A recent favorite involved wine: The questioner had gone to a local restaurant and was served a glass of chilled Pinot Noir. The waiter claimed that the bartender was chilling all the reds because of the heat (we were having a rather hot run of it at the time). Her question: Is chilling red wine ok?

The fun thing about wine is you can get a dozen "experts" in a room, ask them the exact same question, and get a dozen different answers. Some will argue the "old ways":

You always chill white, and you always serve red at room temperature...

Others will argue that we aren't interpreting the old ways properly:

What do we mean by "room temperature"? Dining room? Wine room (cellar)? Bed room? And when do we mean this, as in Medieval times a dining room was a colder, mustier place than it is today ...

Others still will argue that there is no argument:

Do what you want to wine. Drink it the way you want to drink it, and to hell with what anyone else tells you.

Just do a little Googling and you'll come across online discussions that are just as lively, just as sectarian, and (frankly) just as ridiculous.

Do I drink red wine only with beef and never with chicken? What wine pairs perfectly with peanut butter? To chill or not to chill, that is the question!

The answer, oddly enough, is yes. Try this experiment sometime (I love food experiments, and wine experiments even more):

Get a bottle of your favorite red.
Open it and pour two glasses.
Put one glass in your fridge, and leave on on the counter.
Walk away for 20 minutes. Go read this (or another) food blog, just don't touch either glass (as much as you may want to).
When the time is up, taste both glasses.

What you should find is the chilled glass seems more "focused", more things happening on the tongue than in the nose. The cooler temperature has dampened some of the aromatics but fortified the structure of the wine. In other words, it's pretty darned tasty. In contrast, the wine that had been sitting on the counter should have more activity going on in your nose than in your mouth, with less and less happening in the taste department the warmer the wine gets. Interesting, yes?

If you'd like to extend your research, try the same experiment with a white whine. In this case, the room temperature white will taste sweeter and the chilled white more savory.

In the end, what's really important is whether you like the taste. You may find that you enjoy both tastes (chilled and not), so why not start with the wine chilled and let it warm naturally while you drink it, giving you the best of both worlds? Try that technique some time with friends for an impromptu wine and cheese party and see how the pairings change as the wine's temperature changes. The only true way to become an expert is to try it yourself.

And as for peanut butter? Rosemount Estates Diamond Label Traminer Riesling. Unbelievable! Check it out!

You say "grilled flatbread" ... I say "pizza"

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:10:06 PDT

I realize that our society is hung up on words and phrases, but I don't understand it. Somehow, we've transcended to a plane where you can rename a common thing and we'll willingly, lemming-like, accept it as the greatest new invention since sliced ... well ... anything.

Case in point: Patagonian Toothfish. The name alone is as unappetizing as a toothpaste sandwich. It paints a mental picture of of a cross between Flipper, Shamoo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Jeff Dunham's Bubba J. But, with a flurry of penmanship, the name morphs into "Chilean Seabass", which is now Seafood Watch's overfished list. Has the fish changed? No. Has it gained additional, magical flavor? No. It's just gotten a "media makeover" and people have gone gonzo over it. I'm not blaming Americans as the exclusive reason this is happening, in Japan it's called "mero" and is incredibly expensive.

Where am I going with this? In a word: names. I've seen it happen in restaurants over the past couple years, where what we used to call "pizza" is now being labeled as "grilled flatbread". Is it new? No. Is it different? No. It's a flat piece of dough with toppings. It's flipping pizza. Call it "farinata", "cecina", "tarte flambée", "Lahmacun", "pissaladiere", "calzone" or "stromboli" it all boils down to the same thing: dough with toppings. Period.

Sorry for the rant. George Carlin passed away last week, and I've been a student of his analysis of language for years, so I get a bit carried away. What I'm trying to say is this: doesn't matter what you call it, it's a basic recipe that you can adapt to whatever you wish to top a slice of bread with.

So enough of the rant, let's get topping! If you've been following my adventures, you know I've got BBQ coming out of my ears, and have been having fun getting "BB-creative" with smoked meat in recipes. Tonight it's a simple dish (I'm lazy, I'm tired, and I don't want to waste time, shoot me): BBQ Pizza.

BBQ Pizza

This can be done on the grill or in your oven. For the grill, get the coals going and set up the grill for "dual-zones" (a hot zone and a cool zone). For the oven, preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (the hotter, the better).

Take a Boboli prepared pizza crust (or, alternatively, you can us pita bread or something similar, for smaller "personal" pizzas) and brush with olive oil.

Sprinkle over the crust the ingredients:

BBQ chopped or shredded pork (or brisket, each works well)

BBQ Sauce (drizzle over the meat, less coverage than what you'd do with a marinara)

shredded mozzarella cheese

Place the pizza on the cold size of the grill or in the oven and bake for 10 minutes or less (depends on the heat of your grill/oven). You're looking for a golden brown crust and melted cheese.

If you use the Boboli small crusts, you can let each guest create their own pizzas and vary the toppings. Easy party food, since you don't have to cook it (the guests do the work and they love the participation factor).

Leftovers

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 07:05:10 PDT

Went back to pick up the rest of my gear from the gig this weekend (by the end of it, I was way too tired to pack up the truck). I hurt in places I didn't know I had, but it's a good hurt. Everyone left happy and I'm still basking in the afterglow.

But enough about me, let's talk about leftovers. No matter how good an estimator you are, no matter how accurate the guest count is, and no matter whether all the predicted guest show up (with no suprise additions), when you're doing a buffet you're going to have leftovers. Part of it is basic planning technique (add 10% to your quantities when doing a buffet to accommodate people that don't show offset by people who go through the line multiple times), part of it is psychological: An empty or near empty steam tray will empty even slower as no one wants to be the one to take the last serving of anything. Well, almost anything: I've seen people fight over the last cookie but completely pass up the last baby-back rib. Weird.

The bottom line is this: when you're done, you're going to have extra food. What do you do with it? For those of you screaming "donate" I have a word of caution: not all charitable organizations who accept food will accept all kinds of food. If it's cooked at a private party, probably not (many have rules about the production facilities), for health and safety reasons. Just bear that in mind.

If you end up taking it home, and I can't bear to see good BBQ go to waste, you are then faced with the challenge of what to do with it. Either eat it as is for as along as you have to, or get creative. I opt for the latter.

I'm starting to fade now (long day), but I'll leave you with a quick and dirty recipe for BBQ hash. I made it this morning for breakfast and it was wonderful. The idea is to use the BBQ pork as a bacon substitute, so think about other recipes using bacon that might benefit from a change up to smoked pork.

BBQ Breakfast Hash

Put a non-stick skillet on medium-high heat with a little olive oil.

While it's heating, dice up a medium potato and a quarter of an onion. Make the potato dice smaller than the onion (this helps to even out the cooking time). Rinse the potato to wash off some of the excess starch, pat dry, and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and your favorite herbage (I like to use a little Mrs. Dash).

Add the potato to the hot skillet and saute for a few minutes to start the browning process. When it starts to brown and is soft when you poke a piece with a knife, add the onion and a half cup of pulled or chopped smoked pork. Saute for a little longer. We're not trying to completely cook down the onion, just soften it a bit and give it a little color. The pork will lend it's fat to the browning process as it heats through. When the onion's barely soft and the pork is warmed through (and may have some nice crispy bits), plate, cover and set aside.

Crack two eggs into the skillet and cook to your preference, plate on top of the hash. Alternatively, you could mix the egg in the skillet with the other ingredients (the "breakfast scramble"), or if you're really lazy, crack the eggs in on top of the hash, cook on the stove top for a couple minutes then put under the broiler to finish.

Eat!

G'Nite, Internets.

A Good Day's Work

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:23:43 PDT

A friend's wedding. A beautiful day. The 'bar-zebo" right next to my buffet line. A very memorable time. I had a buffet BBQ dinner for 50 people this afternoon, which went quite well (I don't care how many times folks say it, if you say you love my cooking, I'm going to be pleased). Check out the menu:

Chopped smoked pork
Sliced smoked brisket
Smoked baby back ribs
Jamaican Jerk Smoked chicken
Veggie medley
Rice
Baked Beans
Cole Slaw
Potato Salad
Fruit medley
Dill Pickles
3-Bean Salad

Was it good? Well, modesty prevents me ... but I will say that I got my first tip ($20!) from the Texas contingent of the party (and to impress a bunch of BBQ-loving Texans ain't easy, let me tell you). Bottom line for me is whether the bride and groom enjoyed the day. They did, so my job is done. I can now lie down and never get up again (I'm not kidding, I hurt).

I posted yesterday one of the techniques I use to create bulk smoked product when under the gun. I'm too tired to graft a recipe together, but let me tell you that that the basic "braise, then smoke" technique works for more than pork. I've used it with acceptable (according to the people eating it) results on beef and chicken as well.

The key is to keep the temperature low, both when you're braising and when you smoke. If the fire on the grill (or in the smoker) gets too high you'll dry up all the wonderful collagen you morphed into succulence during the braise.

Watch your fire, and you will be rewarded. If you do nothing else, do that.

'Nuff said. I need a shot, some quality time with my MXC collection, and some sleep.

Food Game Friday: Fish Food

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:00:23 PDT

This week we declare our platform independence (it seemed appropriate) and point you at Fish Food, a reflexive.net online game. Works on Mac, PC, and Linux ... you just need a browser:

So celebrate the holiday and start eating! Remember, seafood is good for you.

BBQ For the Truly Lazy

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 10:32:57 PDT

With Independence Day tomorrow, grills will be out in force around the country. I'll be doing more smoking than grilling, since I have to cook for a friend's wedding this Saturday and he wanted some of my 'Q (Not much ... just enough to feed 70 people). I love summer but, even more, I love BBQ.

For those of you serious about your BBQ, you know there's only one way to do it: low and slow. Every pitmaster has their own rules, but generally:

Smoke at temperatures below 300° F and closer to 225° F (I personally aim for 215-235° F). This is often referred to as cold smoking.
Pork shoulder (also called Boston Butt) should be cooked to an internal temperature of 180° F, so the meat is tender yet still juicy and ready for pulling or chopping (depending on the kind of sandwich you like). This translates to around 1.5 hours/pound of smoking time (roughly).

Everything boils down to the amount of heat applied (focus on temp not time, and you'll always have great 'Q), so monitoring the temperature is critical. Many BBQ fanatics recommend 2 probe thermometers when smoking:

One stuck in a wine cork and wedged into the grill grates of the smoker to measure ambient temperature. Make sure you push the probe all the way through so the end is exposed. Also make sure the end does not touch the grates (or your readings will be way off).
One stuck in the meat itself. Aim for the center of the thickest piece of meat, avoiding any bones.

If you get probes with alarms, so much the better. Set the temperatures you're looking for and go do something else. In the case of the ambient monitor, set the alarm to a temperature 5-10 degrees below what you want not to exceed. You may even wish to use 2 ambient probes: one for the upper and one for the lower limit of your optimal smoking range (if you do that, you are truly a BBQ geek). However you do it, the smoker will then alert you when it needs tending. As an added benefit, this keeps you from continuously opening the lid and peeking at your creation in the making which, while good for the ego, slows down the cooking time as the heat (and smoke) escape.

But what if you find yourself in a time and coordination crunch. You want to throw a party, but can't afford to sit and watch a smoker for 8-10 hours (or more). How can you possibly BBQ when you've got a smaller grill and still have fun at the party? It's easy, as long as you're willing to bend the rules a bit and braise your meat before you smoke it:

Braised, Smoked, Chopped Pork Sandwiches

Ingredients

A boneless pork shoulder (boston butt), sized to how many people you're feeding (# people / 3 = lbs of pork)

Your favorite BBQ rub

A can of your favorite beer

The Braise

Preheat oven to 275° F.

Rinse the pork to get rid of the excess blood. Pat dry with paper towels, and place in an aluminum half-sheet pan (like those used for disposable buffets).

Sprinkle BBQ rub liberally over the pork, getting all sides and into the folds. If there's a large fat "cap" on the pork, position it in the pan so the cap is on top (to baste the meat as it cooks). Pour about 1/3-1/3 of the beer over the pork (you don't need much, as the meat already has a good deal of liquid in it).

Cover the pan with aluminum foil tightly (no cracks or leaks), place in the oven, and braise for about 6 hours. Remove from oven, leave covered while preparing the grill/smoker.

The Smoke

Put some hickory chunks in another pan and pour the rest of the beer over them. Add enough water so the chunks can soak and let them soak for at least 30 minutes before you need them.

After the chunks have soaked for 15 minutes or so, fire up a chimney of coals (or start the coals in your grill), and let them burn for 15 minutes until they get nicely covered with fine white ash. Rake the coals to one side of the grill (creating hot and cold zones), toss a couple of the soaked chunks on the coals, cover the grill and let it sit for a couple minutes and start smoking. Position the lid so the lid vent is over the cold side of the grill.

Once smoke is coming through the vent, take the foil off the pan, drain off the liquid that's accumulated, and place the pork pan and all on the cold side of the smoker (you may wish to put a few more wood chunks on the coals). Put the lid back on and let it sit for at least 30 minutes to an hour. At this point, you're not cooking the pork (you don't need to), you're imparting smoky goodness into the exposed meat ("building a bark" as they say).

After an hour, the meat should have a crusty mahogany color to it. Take off the grill, cover, and let it rest for 15 minutes, then chop it up (or pull it apart with a couple forks). Be sure to mix it up so you combine the smokey exterior meat with the juicy interior meat.

Serve with sauce, slaw, pickles, whatever trips your trigger.

You can do the braising overnight in your oven, and the meat will be ready to finish in the morning for you. The purists will argue that "it's not true BBQ". Whatever. It still tastes darned good.

Roll, Canada!

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:44:50 PDT

Don McMillan ("the only comedian who works in PowerPoint") speculated that we've been spelling the name of our northern neighbor wrong all along, the correct spelling being "CND":

"Just ask a Canadian how they spell the name of their country. They'll say 'C, eh, N, eh, D, eh' ..."

Ok, ok, ok. So you had to be there (or get the CD). Regardless of how you spell it, yesterday was Canada Day. Once called "Dominion Day" (now that sounds ominous, coming from the land of the cruller and Kokanee), it celebrates the July 1, 1867, event that created the federation of the original four provinces: Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec, and Ontario.

And the "cuisine d'Canada"? It's as varied as that of the US, with a prominent French influence (can you say Québécois?), which lends itself to delicious dishes and even more delicious names (bear with me, I'm just warming up).

Take the humble cinnamon roll: dough wrapped around a cinnamon-sugar filling (a pastry roulade, if you will). My mother made some wicked ones when I was growing up, though they were called "caramel rolls" (that's "sticky buns" for some of you). Brown sugar and butter in the pan, melting during the baking process to produce a wonderful sugary glaze that was almost better than the cinnamon/sugar-infused bun itself. And that wonderful, yeasty aroma that would spread through the house was intoxicating.

When I was little, I'd help bake sometimes, though it was often less "help" than "eat the odd-shaped ends of raw dough, sugar, and melted butter". I wish I'd picked up my mother's skill with baking, but I'm as good a baker as I am a gardener, but I've a very "brown" thumb(when I'm not hitting it with a hammer while aiming for a nail). I've killed more sourdough starters than should be legal in civilized society, and I've not had to register as a yeast offender (there is no proof that the "marinara bread' adventure ever happened, I swear).

At any rate, enough waxing sentimental. Sticky buns are the order of the day, and here is the recipe my mother gave me 20-some years ago:

Rolls

1/2 C lukewarm water

2 pkg dry yeast

4 T sugar

2/3 C warm milk

2 eggs

2 t salt

1/4 C lard, melted

4 C flour (about)

1/3 C butter, melted

1/2 C brown sugar

1 T white corn syrup or water

Soak the yeast in the lukewarm water for 5 minutes.

Pour milk and melted shortening over sugar and salt in bowl. Cool to lukewarm.

Add yeast and unbeaten eggs. Mix well.

Add flour a little at a time and beat. Knead in remaining flower to make a soft dough. Cover and let rise 15 minutes.

Mix the butter, brown sugar, and corn syrup or water together, and pour into greased pans, drizzling thin layer on the bottom of the pan (make sure it's spread around so there's a deliciously gooey pool for each roll to sit in while baking).

Divide dough into two parts. Roll into rectangles and spread with softened butter. Roll rectangles into roulades. For added flavor, sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar before rolling.

Slice roulades into rolls about 2" thick, producing about 12 rolls per roulade. Place rolls in the greased pans, making sure each gets its face-down end dipped in some of the butter/sugar mixture.

Cover pans and let rise for about 1/2 hour (or until doubled in volume). Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Bake until golden brown (about 30-45 minutes). Remove from oven and let cool in pans briefly.

Flip pan over onto cookie rack. The syrup will still be rather hot (be careful), but if you do it soon enough, it will be fluid enough to aid in removing the rolls. Let cool until you can't take it any more. Indulge.

Makes about 2 dozen rolls.

What's so Canadian about sticky buns? I'm glad you asked. The Canadian version's filling is a wonderfully decadent brown-sugar creme, with an even more delicious name: Pets de soeurs. That's French for "nuns' farts".

Bon Appetit, eh?

Allez Cuisine!

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:47:49 PDT

In preparing for the kickoff of this month's NaBloPoMo topic (food) I came across this little tidbit: Bocuse D'Or Europe 2008 is happening today and tomorrow in Stavanger, Norway. That's beyond cool: At the exact same time the first ever European qualifier for the 2009 competition is being held, bloggers all over the planet are firing up their keyboards to tackle food blogging from all angles.

Coincidence? I think not. I like the thought that while the best chefs in Europe are showing what they've got, bloggers are doing the same. It has a certain Zen about it, don't you think?

If you haven't watched the Food Network (and if you haven't, why are you reading this blog?), the Bocuse D'Or is the Olympics of the food world, just like what Formula One is to racing, or The Cannonball Run is to Dom DeLuise fans. First launched in 1987 by Paul Bocuse and Albert Romain (director of the Parc des Expositions in Lyon) as the ultimate cooking challenge, it pushes top chefs from all over the world to be their absolute best.

And with that, and another obtuse Food Network reference (this time, Iron Chef), "To the kitchen!" Let the blogging begin!

NaBloPoMo July 2008

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:55:28 PDT

Been trying to come up with the incentive to do this more regularly, to "get in the groove". Sometimes, on needs some external incentive, and it looks like NaBloPoMo has come to the rescue.

We're going to attempt to write a (meaningful) post a day for the month of July as a participation in NaBloPoMo's July theme of "Food".

Time to put up or shut up.

Food Game Friday: Go-Go Gourmet

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:19:40 PST

Kicking off a new feature of the blog, Food Game Friday will attempt to showcase a new food-related game one Friday a month (for starters). This month's pick is Go-Go Gourmet, available over at Reflexive Arcade:

The description speaks for itself:

Search, sauté, and serve your way to gastronomic greatness! Go-Go Gourmet puts you in the heat of the kitchen with hidden object and time management gameplay, all rolled into one! Find ingredients, whip-up recipes, and juggle hungry customers as you quickly and efficiently toggle between orders to prepare more than one request at a time! With 7 uniquely themed restaurants and more than 25 unlockable upgrades, Go-Go Gourmet will leave you hungry for more!

So head on over to the arcade and download your copy today!

Thanksgiving for the Kitchen Challenged

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:43:00 PST

Baked Stuffed Turkey

Ingredients:

1 thawed turkey (10-12 lb)
1 C melted butter, divided
1 C of your favorite stuffing
1 C uncooked popcorn

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Clean and rinse turkey inside and out (remove neck and gizzard, if present) and pat dry
Combine stuffing, popcorn, and 2 tablespoons melted butter (consistency should be crumbly and on the dry side)
Fill cavity of turkey with stuffing/popcorn/butter mixture
Place turkey on rack in roasting pan
Brush skin liberally with remaining melted butter, sprinkle with salt and pepper
Place pan in oven with neck towards back of oven

Listen for popping sounds. When the turkey’s ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it’s done. Order pizza (you can clean up later).

You Gonna Eat That?

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 19:09:14 PDT

Sometimes, late at night, you get the munchies ... and all semblance of food sanity goes right out the window (it also seems to happen when you're pregnant, or so I'm told). At any rate, I remember people looking at me as if I'd completely lost my mind when (in response to "What do you wanna eat?") I say "I'm thinking pasta and caramel sauce". Now, granted, I wasn't really hungry for pasta and caramel sauce, I was just going for the shock value ... and I usually got it in spades.

Well, checking out metafilter tonight, I found this. Oddly enough, it sounds kinda good (apparently someone else agrees).

Smoked Potato and Andouille Soup

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 15:51:18 PST

Yet another experiment in crockpot cooking.

Ingredients:

3 lbs red potatoes, cleaned and halved
4 links andouille sausage, rough dice
1 C onion, rough dice
1/2 C carrot, rough dice
1/2 C celery, rough dice
garlic (to taste)
chicken stock
vegetable stock
olive oil
chipotle powder
crushed red pepper flake
crushed habanero pepper flake

Additional Tools:

Stovetop smoker
Wood for smoker (either sawdust or chips), hickory, maple, cherry, apple (whatever you prefer).

Instructions:

Boil potatoes in chicken stock until fork tender (~ 15-20 minutes). Drain, let cool.
If using wood chips, soak in water for 30 minutes before placing in smoker. If using sawdust, place in smoker according to directions. Place drip pan and grill in smoker, then place potatoes on grill. Place smoker on stove burners on medium heat.
Smoke potatoes for about 30 minutes. They'll develop a nice mahogony color around the edges (using BBQ terms, "bark"). Remove smoker from heat and let cool.
While potatoes are cooling, heat a little olive oil in a sauce pan over medium heat.
When warm, add garlic and sautee briefly (don't let it turn brown), then add mire poix (the onions, carrots, and celery) and sweat the mixture. Add salt, pepper, and a dash of chipotle powder (to taste). Sweat for a few minutes.
Add sausage to pot, and let the mixture heat through.
While heating, large dice the potatoes and place them in your crock pot.
Add the mire poix/sausage mixture to the crock.
Add enough vegetable stock (or water) to cover the mixture.
Dust the top of the soup with any combination of chili powder (chipotle, crushed red pepper, habanero flake, etc.). This is very much to taste, so add as much or as little as you wish.
Put the lid on the crock and let 'er rip for anywhere from 4-6 hours.

Hot Sauce Haiku: The Results

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:34:07 PDT

Last month, I had a couple posts of haiku for the Hot Sauce Haiku Contest going on over at Baby That's Hot. I didn't win (wasn't really expecting to ... I'm not much of a poet), but a mention as a favorite (yeah, I'm the last on in the list, but I'm still there) in the competition ain't too shabby.

The two that won deserve it ... truly wonderful verse!

In Retrospect: BBQ Party

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 18:52:28 PDT

I did a private BBQ for about 20 people last night. The menu included:

BBQ Ribs
Chopped Pork Sandwiches
Beer Can Chicken
Grilled Shrimp
Grilled Salmon
Cole Slaw
BBQ Baked Beans
Cornbread

(recipes will be posted ... later)

Others brought desserts (fruit pizza ... outstanding!), still others beverages. My job was the main course(s) and manning the steam tables. All in all, it was a n awesome evening (I should have some pictures up soon). 6 grills ... 6 ... man, that was fun. Three for smoking, 2 for indirect grilling, one nice big 22" kettle for the chickens ... it was amazing. I won't blow my own horn ... hell I won't, I did a damn good job ... at least, that's what everyone said, and that's really all that matters: happy eaters.

If you're gonna have fun cooking for gatherings like this, you also need to accept the downside ... cleaning. So, here I am tonight, dishes are cleaned, staples packed away, and I'm finishing the night with a good bottle of wine (Jest Red ... if you like reds, this is an outstanding value) and cooking off some of the extras I didn't get to (or need to ... I always like having more ... running out is a personal paranoia of mine) prepare. Braised porn loin with mushrooms and garlic ... and a couple more beer can chickens.

As I was prepping the birds for the oven, getting them cleaned, oiled, rubbed down w/ a little seasoning (I like Mrs. Dash for this job right now), I noticed that one of the chickens had a broken leg, just above the knee joint ... and I felt a twinge of sadness when I found it. You know the kind I'm talking about: it's the feeling you get when you empathize with the physical discomfort of someone (or something) else. You hear a friend mention they got their finger slammed in a car door and you feel pain yourself. Well, there I was ... empathizing with what was about to become dinner.

Now, if any of you think I'm going to turn vegan ... forget it. I'm more curious about why I felt this ... why I actually found myself feeling sorry for the bird, even though the leg was no doubt broken long after death, sometime during the packing process. It's strange how it affected me ...

... though not enough for me not to pop them in the oven. I can smell them now ... fantastic!

Hot-ku, Take 2

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 12:05:23 PDT

Just a few more incentives for the Hot Sauce Haiku contest at BabyThatsHot.com:

Ay Chihuahua Sauce:
Secret spices, cilantro,
in Mexican style.

"Me So Hot" Sauce Jar:
Like an ancient, Asian urn,
holds the fire spirit.

Tears of the Devil:
Bright red color, cries of fire.
Taste brings tears of joy.

Taj Ma-Hot curry:
Jalapeno, green as spring.
Taste of India.

Hot-ku

sjwalter@gmail.com (Scott J. Walter) — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 12:02:22 PDT

If you find yourself waxing poetic about food, check out the "Hot Sauce Haiku" competition going on over at BabyThatsHot.com. You can still get your entry in (contest closes the end of the month). The winner gets a jar of (yet to be selected) hot sauce and a BTH t-shirt.

And, if you need something to get your creative juices flowing:

Vampire Repellent:
A loving kiss of garlic,
wrapped in molten fire.

Triple Dog Dare Sauce:
The sauteed tomatillos
explode in green fire.

Yellow Fever Sauce:
Bright bell, banana chilis
flavors tradition.

Blaze Orange Hot Sauce:
Apple cider vinegar,
sweet, hot citrus twang.