Off the Wagon Shop - Off the Wagon Blog of Funny, Weird and Useless Gifts

Top 10 Funniest (Dumbest?) New 2024 Christmas & Holiday Gifts

noemail@noemail.org (Michelle Sahr) — Tue, 8 Oct 2024 09:00:18 -0400

Christmas is creeping up, and if you’re on the hunt for the most ridiculous (yet perfect) gifts, look no further! We’ve got the weirdest 2024 holiday gifts that’ll make your friends question your sanity—and then love you for it. Here’s our top 10!

Bigfoot Candy Canes (Pine Flavored)
Candy canes that taste like pine trees? Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like the flavor of the outdoors… literally.
Racing Pizza Rat
Ever wonder what it’d be like to watch a rat race a slice of pizza? Well, now you can—sort of. This 3" pull-back toy makes your food fight fast!
Pickle Pen
Write with dill-ightful style! It’s a pickle… it’s a pen… it's both! Prepare for confusion and laughter every time you pull this out of your bag.
Ninja Knockout Action Pen Set
These aren’t just pens; they’re mini battle machines. Push the button, and BAM! Ninja punch! Oh, and they write, too… so there’s that.
Carolina Reaper Flavored Cotton Candy
Because nothing screams “Merry Christmas” like setting your mouth on fire! Sweet, spicy, and seriously questionable.
Cleaning Cat Air Freshener
An orange-scented air freshener featuring a cat mid-bath. Finally, a fresh scent and feline hygiene in one adorably disturbing package.
"100% Not Impressed" Gym Socks
Perfect for the workout enthusiast who just can’t even. These socks say what everyone at the gym is thinking, but only you are brave enough to wear.
Pizza Rat Plushie
The king of pizza-themed rodents has arrived! This 6.5” plushie rat rocks a pizza cape and crown, because why wouldn’t a rat with pizza need royal accessories?
Itty Bitty Bigfoot
Teeny-tiny Bigfoot action figures? Yes, please! At 3/8" tall, this pack of 8 will help you build a miniature Bigfoot army for your desk. Who knew the elusive creature was so pocket-sized?
Canned Opossum
It’s a plushie. It’s an opossum. And it comes in a can. Open this “grocery store surprise” for a 5" ball of adorableness with a side of confusion.

Ready to fill your cart with the strangest, funniest, and dumbest gifts? These gems are sure to bring out the laughs—and the puzzled looks—this holiday season! 🎄

Blast Off into Fun: Out-of-This-World Outdoor Toys!

noemail@noemail.org (Michelle Sahr) — Sat, 8 Jun 2024 17:37:28 -0400

Hey there, space cadets and outdoor adventurers! Are you ready to take your backyard playtime to new heights? We've rounded up some of the coolest, most stellar outdoor toys that will make your summer days unforgettable. Whether you're aiming for the stars or just looking to have a blast, these toys are sure to ignite your imagination and keep the fun going all day long. Let’s countdown to fun with our top picks!

Outer Space Themed Bubble Gun Blaster

3...2...1...Bubbles away! The Outer Space Themed Bubble Gun Blaster is here to turn your backyard into a galactic bubble extravaganza. With its cosmic design and endless streams of bubbles, this blaster is perfect for kids who dream of space adventures. Just pull the trigger and watch as bubbles fill the sky, creating a magical, otherworldly experience. It's the perfect way to add a splash of fun to any outdoor playtime.

NASA Themed Stomp Rocket (Air Powered Toy for Kids 5 and Up)

Prepare for launch with the NASA Themed Stomp Rocket! This air-powered toy is perfect for aspiring astronauts and rocket enthusiasts. Simply set up the launch pad, load the rocket, and stomp with all your might to send the rocket soaring into the sky. It’s a thrilling, educational toy that combines fun with a bit of physics. Kids will love seeing how high they can make their rockets go, and parents will appreciate the easy setup and endless entertainment.

Airlyft Glider

Looking for a toy that flies as high as your imagination? The Airlyft Glider is the answer! This lightweight, tube-shaped flyer can glide over 100 feet, making it the ultimate outdoor toy for kids who love to run, throw, and watch things soar. Its simple design makes it easy to use—just give it a toss and watch it glide gracefully through the air. Whether you’re at the park, beach, or backyard, the Airlyft Glider promises hours of active, outdoor fun.

Moon Ball

Bounce to the moon and back with the Moon Ball! This super high bounce ball can bounce over 100 feet, providing endless excitement and energy-burning fun. Its unique design and texture make it bounce unpredictably, adding an extra layer of fun to any game. Whether you’re playing catch, seeing who can bounce it the highest, or inventing your own moon ball games, this toy is sure to be a hit with kids and adults alike.

So there you have it, space explorers and outdoor adventurers! Our top picks for out-of-this-world outdoor toys are sure to make your summer days brighter, bouncier, and full of fun. Get ready to blast off into adventure with these stellar toys that will keep you entertained all season long.

Find this and more quirky, funny, and weird items at Off the Wagon Shop.

Stay playful and keep reaching for the stars!

Pickle Pandemonium: Dive into Our Delightfully Dill-Themed Delights

noemail@noemail.org (Michelle Sahr) — Sat, 8 Jun 2024 17:14:55 -0400

Hello, pickle aficionados and brine enthusiasts! Have you ever found yourself daydreaming about the perfect pickle-themed goodies to add a bit of zest to your life? Well, look no further! We’ve rounded up the most fantastically funny and utterly unique pickle products that will tickle your taste buds and your funny bone. Let’s relish in these dill-icious new arrivals!

I Love Pickles Socks

Show off your pickle pride from head to toe with the I Love Pickles Socks. These cozy socks feature a fun pickle pattern and are perfect for lounging around or adding a quirky touch to your outfit. They’re a great gift for the pickle lover in your life (or a treat for yourself).

Big Dill Energy Greeting Card and Sticker

Got a friend who needs a little pick-me-up? The Big Dill Energy Greeting Card and Sticker is the perfect way to brighten their day. This card comes with a vibrant sticker that boasts some serious dill energy, making it a great gift for anyone who loves pickles and a good laugh. Send some pickle-powered positivity to someone special!

Pickle Erasers

Make your mistakes disappear with a bit of pickle power! Pickle Erasers are here to help you correct your errors with a touch of humor. These pickle-shaped erasers are perfect for adding a bit of fun to your desk and making those little slip-ups less stressful.

Real Dill Pickle Flavored Jelly Beans

Craving a pickle but in candy form? Dill Pickle flavored jelly beans are here to satisfy your sweet and salty cravings. These jelly beans look and taste like real pickles, offering a unique snacking experience that’s sure to surprise and delight your taste buds.

Pickle Bandages

Ouch! Got a scrape or cut? Don’t fret, just slap on a Pickle Bandage! These pickle-shaped bandages are perfect for adding a touch of humor to your healing process. Each tin comes with 15 sterile bandages, ensuring you're well-stocked for all your pickle-related injuries (because, let’s face it, pickles can be a slippery bunch).

Pickle Air Freshener

Who needs pine when you can have pickle? The Pickle Air Freshener brings the invigorating scent of pickles to your car, closet, or any space that needs a little freshening up. Just hang it up and let the briny aroma waft through the air, ensuring you’re always surrounded by the scent of your favorite snack.

Whether you’re a hardcore pickle enthusiast or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, our pickle-themed products are sure to bring a smile to your face. From practical items to outright silliness, we've got everything you need to add a bit of pickle-inspired joy to your life.

Find this and more quirky, funny, and weird items at Off the Wagon Shop.

Stay briny, my friends!

9 Favorites: Cheap and Funny Birthday Gifts!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 14:58:01 -0400

The thing about birthdays is they just keep happening! It seems like every year all our friends and family are having another birthday! Not to mention coworkers and the like. It can be a lot to keep up with, especially in the money department. Luckily, we’ve got tons of great (often quite ridiculous) gifts for cheap here at Off the Wagon! If you’re strapped for cash and in need of a birthday gift, we think getting something silly is a great idea! After all, it's all the little things in life that are the funniest! For this blog, we’ve picked out 9 of our favorite birthday gift ideas, including some funny birthday cards and even a stupid gift bag. Check them out and pick the one you think your birthday-haver will love the most!

Tiny Nee Doh Dogs or Cats

These Cool Cats and Funky Pups are so fun to squish around and play with! Each pack comes with three cats or dogs in an array of vibrant and fun colors.

Fuck Putin also Happy Birthday Card

Sure, it’s your birthday, but unfortunately that doesn't mean Putin stops being terrible for the day. Luckily for us, we can fit both sentiments onto one card.

Grow a Boyfriend & Grow a Girlfriend

Who could say no to a little love for their birthday? With these kits they can skip the dating apps and just grow their own boyfriend or girlfriend!

Happy BirthTAY Card

Celebrate a birthday in Swiftie style for about 1/100th the price of a (cheap) Taylor Swift ticket! Perfect for the Taylor Swift fan in your life.

Lower Your Expectations Gift Bag

Maybe your gift is only mediocre and you know it, or maybe you just want a really dumb gift bag that will make them laugh. Either way, this is perfect!

Single Serve Cocktail Mix

Yum! These fun and funky cocktail mixes have everything you need to make one delicious drink, minus the alcohol. Makes for a fun, cheap way to celebrate!

Boba Milk Tea Jelly Beans

Yum again! These Jelly Beans flavors were inspired by delicious milk tea flavors, like Tahi tea, taro tea, and matcha.

Soap for the Birthday Blues

Birthdays are usually pretty fun, but sometimes you just feel old. Wash away all those yucky feelings with this special (and quite silly) soap!

I Picked This For You Myself Birthday Card

It’s the thought that counts, right? No? They’re saying that doesn’t apply when you’re trying to give a booger as a gift. Even if it’s a really nice one. We kinda have to disagree, but whatever.

Not quite sold on any of these, or just want to browse more silly, dumb stuff? You can check out our whole collection of birthday gifts here, or all our weird funny gifts here. And if you really want to see everything we have (including games, weird candy, gag gifts, and more), you can check out our entire catalog right here.

5 Weird, Cheap Father’s Day Gifts for 2023!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Mon, 22 May 2023 14:37:33 -0400

Father’s Day is all about taking a moment to stop and appreciate dads everywhere. And if you're going to really appreciate dads, you have to appreciate their dumb jokes, their weird fashion choices, and their general goofiness! Otherwise, you’re not really getting the full picture of dad-ness. Luckily for you, we’re basically experts at goofiness and dumb jokes here at Off The Wagon, and we’ve got enough of it to go around! If you want to get your dad something that will make him laugh (or at least snicker) for Father’s Day this year, check out this list of some of our favorite Dad gifts for 2023:

Dad Joke Gum

“I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.” Ain’t no bad joke like a dad joke, and this little pack of gum is stuffed full of bad jokes (and gum, obviously)! Along with 8 pieces of yummy mint gum, this package has 11 different dad jokes printed on the packaging. It’s great if you just want to get your dad a little something and a nice card (oh and by the way we have lots of funny Dad’s Day cards too).

Classic Rock Socks

Classic Rock and Dads, can you think of a more classic pairing? Maybe like peanut butter and jelly, but even that's close. They call it Dad Rock for a reason, right! These socks are the perfect accessory for your Dad and his love of Dad Rock. Just be prepared to hear him tell a few stories about concerts he went to back in the day every time he puts them on! Oh yeah - and they're on sale right now!

I Pooped Today Sticker

Maybe your Dad is the exception that proves the rule, but in our experience this sticker is applicable to most dads most days. We know because on the off chance you can’t smell it from the other side of the house, they tend to announce their poop either right before or right after they happen.

Bacon Air Freshener

If we just stop for a moment and take an honest look around, it’s clear that A LOT of different people like bacon, and they like it a lot. But for some reason there’s a stereotype about middle aged (and older) men and their love for bacon. We blame Ron Swanson, but to be fair it rings pretty true of our Dads anyways. If your Dad falls right into this stereotype, he’ll probably love this silly air freshener!

I’ll Feed All You Fuckers Oven Mitt

Whether your dad is just the fair weather grill master or the resident chef of the family, we’re confident he’ll rock this oven mitt with immaculate dad style. Either way, prepare to eat some sort of cooked meat because that's probably what's on the menu!

Not quite satisfied, or just want to keep browsing options? You can check out our entire Father’s Day collection here. If instead you’d rather see everything we have to offer, including funny gifts, board games, weird candy, and more, you can browse our entire catalog here.

6 Weird & Funny Gifts for 2023 Grads!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Wed, 10 May 2023 01:00:00 -0400

It's graduation season, woot woot! Here at Off the Wagon, we love celebrating a graduation in style. Specifically, a very silly, odd, and funny style. One with lots of bad jokes and weird stuff. If you’re on the same page as us, then you’ve come to the right place! We’ve picked out 6 of our favorite gifts options for a grad in your life, check them out:

Fuck Yeah Decision Dice

With every graduation comes a whole load of weighty decisions. Will you go to college? Where? What job will you take? Where will you live? Is it time to get rid of that weird hairdo you’ve been rocking for the past few years? Making all these decisions can be agonizing, but it doesn’t have to be! With these Fuck Yeah Decision Dice, you can decide your next steps with a simple question and a roll of the dice! Should I take this job offer? *roll* “Fuck No!” Easy enough, just move on!

Filthy Rich Napkins

Give college grads a little taste of what it's going to feel like to get their first adult job paycheck! At least, you know, if they’re not like a fine arts major. Then maybe just give them one napkin and keep the rest of the package for yourself. You don’t want to set their expectations too high.

Fuck Yeah Candle

If you’re throwing a graduation party, you probably have delicious food, fun drinks, and even some activities planned. But have you thought about how things should smell? This Fuck Yeah Candle will fill your grad party with the aromas of satisfaction and being done with all the bullshit.

Look After Yourself Magnet

This magnet is a good reminder to anyone grad leaving their parent’s home or going to live on their own for the first time. It’s so easy to forget to lick your butthole (metaphorically, of course) if you don’t make a habit of it!

You Did the Damn Thing Card

Give your grad a card! Write something nice and thoughtful. Or just a really dumb joke? Or both! We really like this “You Did the Damn Thing” card, but we have a bunch of other cards perfect for graduation too! You can check all of them out here.

Emotional Support Chicken

Graduation means starting a new stage of life with all its difficulties, and that can be a really emotionally daunting task! In our experience, a good emotional support animal can make all the difference in times like those, and there’s no better option than an emotional support rubber chicken! If you’re ever feeling down, all you have to do is give a squeeze for a loud squawk of emotional support that will make you feel so much better!

Looking for mood graduation goodies? You’re in luck; we have an entire graduation collection you can check out here. If you’d rather browse EVERYTHING we have to offer, including games, gag gifts, weird candy, and more, you can check out our entire catalog here.

Mother’s Day 2023 Weird & Funny Gift Guide

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 28 Apr 2023 02:00:00 -0400

Mother’s Day is coming up, and all of us with a Mom are essentially required to get her a little something. That is unless you want to be inundated with passive-aggressive (or just plain-aggressive) comments for the next 365 days. But maybe you’re sick of giving cheesy, boring cards and scarves she’ll wear maybe once. Or maybe you’re mom has a nice sense of humor and likes silly stuff! Either way, we’ve got tons of amazing, funny, weird, and wacky alternative Mother’s Day gift options here at Off the Wagon!

For this year’s Mom’s Day, we’ve put together a little gift-buying guide for you. We figure if you get something from each category, you’ll be set and ready to go for Mother’s Day! The categories are Fun and Silly Cards, Nifty Gifties, and Awesome Mini Stuff (optional).

1. Fun and Silly Cards

At the absolute bare minimum, you need a nice card for Mother’s Day. Here at Off the Wagon, we’ve got all sorts of fun and silly cards. Most of them are blank on the inside, which leaves lots of room for a thoughtful, hand-written note. We recommend writing some poetry. If that's not your strong suit, we give you full permission to copy the Mother’s Day poem we wrote this year:

O, my mother

You’re so other (worldly)

But, like, in a good way

I wish I was as cool as you

Or at least cool enough to wear your shoes

That one shiny pair you have

Thanks for raising me and stuff

I know parts of it were probably rough

We put a few of our favorite Mother’s Day cards below, and you can check out all of them here.

Mom, You’re the Shit Card

Raising Us Has Been A Pure Joy Card

2. Nifty Gifties

The card is kind of like the appetizer, and this is the main course. Get Mom a silly gift that will make her laugh every time she gets to use it! We have all sorts of perfect gift items at Off the Wagon, including socks, plush, mugs, wine glasses, and other random stuff! You can see a couple of our favorite picks for mother’s day below, or browse all of them here.

Soap for mom brain

“I love my asshole kids” socks

Cheaper than therapy wine glass

3. Awesome Mini Stuff (optional)

Almost there! If you feel like your Mom’s Day gift is lacking, or just want to add a little bit more oomph, an extra mini-gift is perfect! These gifts cost even less than a card and can bring your Mother’s Day gift to the next level.

Don’t make mommy be a bitch gum

Best mom ever sticker

If you’re still not satisfied, or just want to see all the Mom’s Day stuff we have to offer, you can browse our Mother’s Day collection here. If you want to see everything we have to offer, including games, gag gifts, weird candy, toys, and more, you can browse our entire catalog here.

6 Reasons You Should Play Ramen Fury

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 21 Apr 2023 01:00:02 -0400

We’ve been playing this game called Ramen Fury recently, and we think it’s pretty awesome. So awesome that we’re writing a blog about it. Here’s the super condensed summary: It’s a quick, easy game with great mechanics and an even better theme. If you’re looking for a super hefty, takes 3 hours to play, game night experience, Ramen Fury isn’t that. But if you want an incredibly versatile card game that will be fun in almost any situation with almost any people, Ramen Fury really hits those marks! So here it is: 6 reasons we think you should play Ramen Fury.

1. It's fun

We have to start here, right? If the game isn’t fun, then who cares about all the other details? Luckily, it is fun! It has that nice balance of random luck and strategic play that makes it both an engaging and very chill experience. On top of that, turns are short, the games moves quickly, and you always have interesting decisions to make! All of this might sound like jargon nonsense, but we promise it all comes together in a play experience you and your friends or family will really enjoy!

2. The packaging is cool as hell

We’ve just GOT to talk about the packaging! The little trick they did here is making the packaging of this game mimics the size, shape, and style of an instant ramen pack you’d buy at the grocery store. Inside the outer plastic, there is even a cardboard box that looks just like a block of noodles!

3. It’s quick and easy to play

The game says it takes 30 min to play. We’ve played mostly with 3 or 4 players (the game plays up to 5), and only our longest games have taken 30 minutes. So really it’s even faster than that! You can play multiple games if you want a whole game night or just a quick round with some extra time.

4. Make ramen. Eat ramen. Love ramen.

The theme of the game is amazing. It starts with incredible packaging, but it follows through the rest of the game. The art is simple but really fun, and the mechanics of the game really make it feel like you’re putting together bowls of ramen (and then eating bowls of ramen)! Even someone who’s not a huge ramen person will be able to enjoy the theme and flavor (pun intended) of this game!

5. Play it with anyone

In our opinion, this game hits a sweet spot for strategy. It’s simple enough that you can teach it to kids (or adults who don’t play many board or card games). The official age rating is 8 years and up. But there is also enough strategy and decision-making that adults and even seasoned board gamers can have fun with it!

6. You can steal your friend’s ramen

Did we mention you can steal ingredients from your friend’s ramen bowls? Because you can. We love this mechanic, it adds just enough spice to the game to make things really feel exciting! We’ve seen revenge plots and underdog stories all come from this mechanic, and it’s always really funny!

So there you have it! 6 reasons to play Ramen Fury. If you’re convinced, you can check out the game on our website. You can also browse all our games or even our entire catalog if you’re looking for something a little bit different.

9 Weird & Silly Gifts Perfect For Kicking Off Spring 2023!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 01:00:01 -0400

Ah, Spring! There is nothing quite like those first warm days of the year where you can drive with your window down, pull out your socks sandals, or be that person who wears shorts when it’s 55 out. And there is nothing quite like the next day being grey and rainy and kind of miserable. But hey! At least some of the days are nice! Here at Off The Wagon, we love the warmth and new life of Spring as much as the next person! Like with most other things, however, we like to show it a little differently. Cute pictures of flowers and rabbits and stuff are cool, but we’re more about squirrels wearing underpants, bigfoot, and dirty jokes about birds! Check out some of these fun products we’ve picked out to get a little taste of Spring in Off The Wagon style!

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

The scents of spring, the sights of spring, and the humor of a 12 year old all wrapped up in one!

Delicate Fucking Flower Socks

Great for protecting your delicate feet while you kick some major ass! This flower has some thorns mother-fu*ker! Or just cute socks with no ass-kicking involved, your choice!

Nutty Squirrel Popper

Squeeze this stump and a cute little squirrel will pop out to say hi! Hello, squirrel! But it can’t stay for long. Those nuts aren’t gonna earth themselves! Goodbye, squirrel!

Nee Doh Fruit

A basket of fun, fruit-shaped fidget toys that are fun to squeeze! Their bright neon colors bring some great spring energy too!

Calm Your Tits Mug

You know it’s Spring when you start hearing birdsong again! You know, birds like the bearded tit, the blue tit, or the long-tailed tit! This mug is a funny gift for anyone (ok, maybe not kids, but otherwise anyone)!

Mushrooms 1000 Piece Puzzle

Spring is full of beautiful days, but it has a lot of rainy days too! Try this lovely puzzle for a rainy spring day. It’s fun and it will let you imagine a warm sunny day while you’re holed up inside!

Audubon Birds 1000 pc puzzle

Or if you’d rather puzzle up some trees than some flowers, try the arboretum puzzle! Or get them both if you’re a real puzzle fiend!

Finger Possum

Ah, the majestic possum! It might not be the first animal that comes to mind when you think of Spring, but they’ve got twice the spunk of bunnies or birds!

Finger Goat

It turns out that goats actually exist during all four seasons, but personally we’ve only ever seen one during the spring so we figured that was the only time they were really around. If you thought the same thing, these are for you!

Unfortunately, we don’t have a special collection all full of Spring stuff. Maybe one day! For now, if you want more, we suggest your check out our toy collection, puzzle collection, or our entire catalog. Happy Spring!

7 Bits of Real-Life Loot For Your Next D&D Campaign!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Tue, 4 Apr 2023 18:28:25 -0400

As avid Dungeons and Dragons players ourselves, we know that nothing is better than finishing a monstrous boss fight only to find an epic magic item perfectly suited for your character. But just like in-game loot can make your day, some real-life loot can really bring your play experience to the next level! That's why (also partly in celebration of the new D&D movie that just came out), we’ve put together a list of the best Dungeons and Dragons themed stuff we have to offer here at Off the Wagon shop. We’ve got a LOT of D&D stuff, including rule books, dice sets, official merch, fun extras, and more, and if you’re not satisfied with our curated list you can see our whole collection here. Whether you’re thinking of joining your first D&D campaign or you’re a seasoned veteran, we’re sure you’ll find some epic loot perfect for your next adventure!

Mystery Loot: RPG Dice Set and Bonus Metal Die

The first thing on any good list of D&D stuff is gonna be dice, and when it comes to dice it’s hard to beat this mystery loot set! For just $9.99, you get a complete set of high-quality plastic dice plus an extra die that’s made of metal. And that’s not even factoring in the fun of opening up the bag and seeing what kind of dice you got!

Mystery Loot: Halfling Dice

If you’re on an even tighter budget, or just like ittsy bitsy things, you can get half-sized dice for half the price! Not extra, metal D20 in this one, but getting a whole set of dice for $5 is hard to complain about!

Grim Reaper RPG Dice Set

If you’re more of a dice collector, we’ve got a handful of specialty dice sets too, like these grim reaper dice!

Players Handbook

Just joining you’re first D&D campaign? Get yourself a player’s handbook and you’ll have all you need to get adventuring!

Spelljammer Adventures In Space Hard Cover

Or maybe you’re a veteran looking to get some of the newer D&D books! Did you know that for every D&D book, there are special alternate cover versions you can only find at small stores like Off the Wagon? Pretty cool, right!

F-CK Yeah! Decision Dice

Sure, you might already have some dice for combat and spellcasting and stuff, but do you have any dice for roleplaying? Roll these F-CK Yeah Decision Dice when you need to make a hard decision and don’t know what you’re character would do!

Mini Squishable Red Dragon 7"

The perfect little pal to bring to any night of Dungeons and Dragons. He even promises not to breathe fire on you. You know, at least for tonight.

If you’re not quite satisfied or want to see all your options, you can browse all our Dungeons & Dragons stuff here. Or if you want to see all the different (non-D&D) stuff we have to offer, including gag gifts, weird stuff, games, and more, you can browse our entire catalog here. Happy adventuring!

10 Weird & Funny Easter Basket Stuffers for Adults!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 31 Mar 2023 01:00:01 -0400

Easter baskets can be such a fun tradition - I mean who doesn't enjoy a basket full of fun trinkets, toys, and candy!? Here at Off The Wagon we think that Easter Baskets should be for all ages, not just the kiddos. Why should they get all the candy? Also, we’re kind of a fan of filling Easter baskets with all sorts of weird and funny stuff (I’m sure this is shocking news to you and in no way an incredibly predictable thing for us to like). After all, isn’t Spring a time of joy and celebration - sounds like the perfect opportunity for some dumb jokes and silly laughter! If you’re on the same page as we are and are looking for wacky and weird stuff to put in Easter baskets for your family and friends, you’ve come to the right place! Here are eleven of our favorite ideas of things to add to your Easter basket this year!

Emergency Inflatable Rubber Chicken

Channel the spirit of Spring to breathe new life into this otherwise flat and kind of sad chicken! As it inflates, you’ll feel your heart inflate too.

Ant Lollipop

The first surprise is that they’ll get a huge, delicious lollipop! The second surprise it that it’s filled with real ants! Yum, extra protein!

Mystery Box of Fun

Don’t want to go through all the effort of assembling an Easter basket yourself? Get one of our Mystery boxes instead, or send it to someone in a faraway land (like another state)!

Nee Doh Squishy Stress Ball

Oh so satisfying to mess with, and it will change colors when you squeeze it! A super satisfying fidget toy with bright, fun colors!

Finger Owl

WHO doesn't want a little owl friend to perch on their finger? WHO, I ask, WHO WHO WHO! Get it, cuz owls say who. Like, that’s the sound they make.

Pez Dispenser

Ok, this is probably our most normal item on this list, but come on! Wouldn’t you want a little Pikachu Pez dispenser in your Easter basket?

Champagne Jelly Beans

Little bursts of chewy Champagne flavor, and you can have as many as you want and still drive home! Perfect for making an Easter basket seem more adult!

Stuey the Hedgehog Plush

Stuey is cute, adorable, and he has an amazing that he wants to share with you! Obviously, kids will love him, but so will adults! How could you not!

Hot Dog Candy In A Tin

We think hot dogs are the perfect flavor for Easter (mostly because we really like hot dogs), and what better way to deliver that flavor than through these nifty little candies in an awesome tin?

Real Crickets - Bacon & Cheese Flavor

Yum! You wanted candy, didn’t you? What's wrong with these? You didn’t even try them yet!

Wanna check out more of our Easter-themed stuff? Take a look at our Easter collection! Or if you’d like, you can browse our entire catalog of weird gifts, games, gags, and more! Happy Easter!

9 Adorable Easter Plush & Stuffed Animals for 2023!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 01:00:05 -0400

Everyone knows holidays and special occasions are better when you spend them with friends, and Easter is no exception! Here at Off the Wagon, we recommend some soft, adorable plush friends for this Easter. Sure, normal human friends will do fine if that’s all you’ve got, but they tend to be a lot pickier about if and when you can cuddle up to them. They also don’t fit into a normal-sized Easter basket very well, so if you wanted to give a friend as part of an Easter basket you’d have a hard time with it. Not so with plush friends! They fit comfortably into almost any basket and are happy to be there. Cuddle them all you want and don’t worry about them asking to share some of your Easter candy with them.

We’ve got a whole sea of plush to choose from on our website, and we know analysis paralysis is a real thing. So to make things easy for you we’ve picked out 9 of the most Easter appropriate plush from our collection, including a couple of different types of bunnies, a grumpy frog, some mushrooms, and more. Check them all out:

Jellycat Bonnie Bunny

An adorable little bunny that can be holding either a carrot, a little flower, or an Easter egg! You won’t find a more Easter appropriate plush than this!

Alter Ego Squishable Plague Doctor

Five different styles of the iconic Squishable Plague doctor, including a barista, a demon, a fortune teller, a jester, and a raincoat version!

Jellycat Ricky Rain Frog

Ricky can be kind of grumpy, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a good buddy. He just doesn’t like waking up in the mornings.

Jellycat Birdling

These adorable, semi-realistic bird plush come in all different styles, like blue jays, pigeons, and more! A perfect gift for a bird lover.

Stuey Hedgehog with Mushroom

Stuedy is really proud of his mushroom, and he wants to show you so you can enjoy it too.

Jellycat Fun-Guy Ozzie

Ozzie is also proud of his mushroom because he knows it makes him look fabulous.

Squishable Micro Luna Moth

If this moth’s big eyes don’t charm you, then its green and red colored wings are sure to win you over! Small enough to fit in your palm, but with a personality big enough to fill the room!

Jellycat Amuseable Toadstool

You’ll never meet a happier toadstool than this fella!

Jellycat Blossom Bunny

A perfect, super soft bunny plush for all ages.

If you’re not quite satisfied with these options, or you just want to browse all our plush, you can check out our plush and stuffed animal collection here. You can also check out our entire Easter collection here for more Easter basket goodness. And if you want to see literally everything we have to offer on our website, including games, gag gifts, weird stuff, and more, you can browse our entire catalog here. Have a lovely Easter with all your friends, plush or otherwise!

25 Weird & Unique Candies For Your 2023 Easter Baskets!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 02:00:02 -0400

Easter is a time of new life and eating lots and lots of candy. And sure, chocolate bunnies and peeps can get the job done, but don’t you ever wish your Easter candy had a little more personality? A little more spunk? Well if so you’re reading the right blog post. Here at Off the Wagon, we’re connoisseurs of the weird, the spunky, the silly, and the frankly ridiculous - candy included! We love finding the weirdest stuff out there and bringing it to you, and our collection of Easter candy reflects that. Some of it is deliciously off-beat (like our pancakes and maple syrup jelly beans) and some of it is just plain gross (like our bacon and cheese flavored real crickets - no offense if you actually like these), but all of it will get a great reaction when your friends or loved ones discover them tucked away in their Easter baskets! Whether you want to make a whole ridiculous Easter basket from the weird candies, toys, and knickknacks we sell or just want to tuck a few silly candies next to the more traditional finds, these candies are sure to bring your Easter baskets to the next level.

Fart Jokes Gum

Sour Cream & Onion Candy Tin

Lil Nitro - World’s Hottest Gummy Bear

Bacon Candy in a Tin

Double Bubble Egg Laying Fancy Hen

Instantly Talk to your Cat Gum

Pop Rocks Popping Candy

Haribo Gummy Candy

Real Crickets - Bacon & Cheese Flavored

Larvets Cheddar Cheese Flavored

Pancakes & Maple Syrup Jelly Belly

Krispy Kreme Jelly Belly

Champagne Jelly Belly Bottle

Warheads Popping Candy Pouch

Avatar The Last Airbender Sour Candy Tin

Jelly Belly Cocktail Classics Flip Box

Cat Butt Gum

Sour Flush Candy Plunger With Sour Powder Dip

Star Trek Kibble Mints

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

Fried Chicken Candy In a Tin

Always Be a Unicorn Gum

Cluck This Shit Gum

Soda Can Fizz Candy

Beanboozled Firey Five Challenge

We know there are a lot of candy choices here, but guess what? We’ve got even more weird and off beat candy on our website - a whole lot more! You can check out our entire candy collection here. If you’re looking for other things to put in your Easter baskets you can check out our Easter collection. You’ll find tons of adorable plush, a whole assortment of colorful and fun fidget toys, some classic toys, and other weird stuff like our popular chicken flingers.

If you want to get an even broader view of all the weird stuff, gag gifts, games, and everything else that we carry, you can view our entire catalog here. Honestly, we have so much small stuff that could work great for an Easter basket that we couldn’t fit it all in one place anyways, so checking out everything we have might lead you to some really great ideas for your Easter baskets! We hope you have a lovely Easter, filled with laughs and joy (and delicious candy).

7 Weird & Funny Gifts for your 2023 Easter Baskets!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Mon, 13 Mar 2023 14:07:02 -0400

Looking for something a little weird, funny, and ridiculous to add to Easter baskets this year? Well good news, you’ve come to the right place! Here at Off the Wagon, we’re connoisseurs of stupid, silly little gifts that will get your friends and family laughing and having a great time. As funny gift experts, we’ve picked out some of our favorite small, cheap, Easter themed gifts that will fit into any Easter basket right next to the heaps of delicious candy (oh yeah, we also have lots of weird candy - you can check that out here). Check them out, we think you’ll find something you’ll love!

Finger Goats

Your fingers called and they want a pet for Easter. And not something normie like a cat or a dog, no they want some goats. Luckily for you, we’ve got finger goats! Buy one for your fingers to share if they’re irresponsible, or get a few if they have some pet experience already.

Squishy Chicken & Egg

This charming rubber chicken pops out a little rubbery egg when you give him a firm squeeze! Fair warning though, this egg is not filled with candy. Also, it will just pop back into the chicken when you let go so even if there was candy in there it would be kinda hard to get to.

NeeDoh Chickadoo

This little chicky makes a perfect Easter fidget toy and stress ball. The colors are vibrant and fun and the toy is well-made and super satisfying to mess around with.

Racing Ruber Chicken

Set this speedy chicken on the ground (wheels down), pull it backward, and let go! It’ll shoot forward with wild abandon, launching itself into the great unknown. It’s all a metaphor for leaving winter behind us and heading into spring, we promise.

Trendsetter Crazy Aaron’s Putty

More super satisfying fidgety goodness! We sell all sorts of Crazy Aaron’s putty because it’s THE BEST. This assortment has some colors and patterns we think will fit perfectly into the Easter aesthetic!

Mystery Box

Here at Off the Wagon we’ll put together a mystery box for you! It’s perfect if you don’t want to choose all the silly gifts for a friend or family member, and it even gives you a way to surprise yourself with an Easter basket this year!

Krazy Kazoo Blind Box

Make some noise for Easter! Kazoos are a classic, and these Kazoos are covered with all sorts of different vibrant, colorful designs that are perfect for Easter. Each box has a different design, but you won’t know what it looks like till you open it!

Not quite satisfied with these options, or just want even more Easter basket goodness? No problem at all, we have an entire collection of weird and funny Easter basket candy and toys. And if you want to browse all our weird stuff, gag gifts, board games, and more, you can check out our entire catalog here. We hope you have a delightful silly Easter!

8 Weird and Funny Mugs for Your Home or Office!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 3 Mar 2023 01:00:06 -0500

Maybe you’re a coffee drinker, maybe you’re a tea drinker, or maybe you dabble with both. Regardless of your preferred hot beverage, we all have one thing in common - a good mug! And sure, you could be lame and put your coffee in a boring, plain-ass mug without any spunk and it would taste just fine (assuming you didn’t botch the whole coffee-making process, but that's on you). But here at Off the Wagon, we’re interested in a little more than functionality when it comes to mugs. We like our mugs to be a little sassy, a little fun, and generally ridiculous. It might not make your tea taste any better, but it’ll sure as hell make your day better! And the other great thing about our silly mug collection is that these mugs make great gifts for anyone who drinks tea or coffee (which is a lot of people). It’s something fun and silly that they’ll use and enjoy! Anyways, we’ve picked out 8 of the best mugs from our collection. Check these out!

Woke up Sexy as Hell Again Mug

Some things don’t change much from day to day. Every day you have a nice cup of coffee, and every day you wake up sexy as hell. And who doesn’t appreciate a little consistency?

Fresh out of Fucks Mug

The perfect mug for anyone who struggles through the mornings. Or anyone who is just generally kind of an ass. Either way, they’ll be fresh out of fucks while drinking their morning beverage!

May the Bridges I Burn Light the Way

They (you know, important sounding people) tell you not to burn any bridges, but what if it’s dark outside? What if I need some light to see the path in front of me? And what if those bridges are the only thing that’ll burn nearby? Then it just makes sense to light up those bridges, right?

Not Today Satan Mug

One tasty beverage a day out of this mug keeps Satan away!

Grumpy Bitch Needs Coffee Mug

Just to clarify, I don’t need coffee to stop being a grumpy bitch. I just need coffee to halfheartedly pretend I’m not a grumpy bitch when I interact with my coworkers the rest of the day.

Calm Your Tits Mug

If you love tits, you’ll love this mug! It’s covered with beautiful tits, like the bearded tit, the long-tailed tit, and the blue tit! Birds, right?

Pot Head Mug

This punny mug makes a great gift for any plant lover. Especially if they love a very specific plant.

Gnome Mushroom Mug

Ok, this one is more cute than funny, but we still love it! It’s covered with mushrooms and some adorable little gnomes.

If you want to see all of our mug and other drinkware, you can browse the entire collection here. If you want to see everything we have to offer at Off the Wagon, including weird gifts, gags, games, and more, you can browse our entire collection here!

8 of our favorite Jellycat Plush in 2023!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 01:00:00 -0500

We have a LOT of plush here at Off the Wagon. If we wanted to, we could probably fill a small swimming pool with all of it and dive right in. In fact, we were gonna do exactly that a few weeks ago but the boss lady wasn’t so excited about the idea for some reason. And it's not just any old plush mind you! As plush connoisseurs, we only source the cutest, fluffiest, and highest-quality plush you can find! Today, we wanted to tell you all about one of our very favorite plush brands, Jellycat! You might already be familiar with Jellycat and their SUPER SOFT plush with adorable little smiles. If not, here’s the scoop. All you need to do is feel how soft a Jellycat plush is one time, and you’ll be hooked. Your mind will be opened and you’ll realize there is a whole universe of softness out there that you have yet to experience. Then, before long, you’ll fall in love with how cute these little plush are. It may seem too good to be true, but you should really check out these plush and see for yourself! Start with these: we’ve picked out 8 of our favorite Jellycat plush for you to check out!

Jellycat Grizzo Gremlin Plush

Maybe before the moment you laid eyes on Grizzo, you thought gremlins were gross, wrinkly little monsters who smelled like stale, crusty socks. But Grizzo doesn’t smell nearly that bad, and you can see for yourself how cute he is!

Jellycat Birdling Plush

Know any bird lovers (and yes, you can count yourself)? With more than 10 varieties of different realistic bird plush to choose from, you can find something for everyone!

Jellycat Andie Axolotl Plush

So, it turns out there aren’t any blue Axolotls out in the wild, but that didn’t stop Andie here from sporting his favorite color as a stunning fashion statement!

Jellycat Fun-guy Robbie Plush

As you can see, Robie has impeccable fashion, especially when it comes to caps.

Jellycat Mini Fossily Plush

Dinos! These adorable little plush are perfect for any little one obsessed with dinosaurs.

Jellycat Sage Dragon Plush

Have you ever finished a good fantasy book or movie and thought to yourself, “you know, I wish I had a dragon as a pet.” Well, now you can, and it’ll be the cuddliest dragon you’ll ever meet!

Jellycat Vivacious Vegetables Plush

The little smiles on each of this quirky plush make them so cute! These plush are great for kids or adults who love to cook. You could even get a plush carrot for that friend who’s constantly bringing carrots to lunch.

Jellycat Fabulous Fruit Plush

Not a veggie person? Don’t worry, we’ve got plushie fruits too, including strawberries, bananas, apples, and more.

You can see the rest of our Jellycat collection here. Want to see the entire collection of all our plush? Check out our plushies and stuffed animal collection! Or you can browse our entire catalog here to see all our weird gifts, gags, games, and more!

7 Favorites From our Post-Holidays Clearance Sale

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 17 Feb 2023 01:00:08 -0500

We sell a lot of stuff during the Christmas season. It makes sense; people want to surprise their family and friends with all the goofy stuff and quirky gifts we carry! Here’s the thing. Every year when the holiday season finishes, there are a handful of products we just have WAY TOO MANY still sitting around on shelves in the backroom. Some of them didn’t sell quite as well as we had hoped, and a lot of them just came in too late. Turns out it’s kinda hard to sell a crate full of Christmas-themed toys when they show up on December 28th. We’re not too upset, it’s all part of doing business! And it gives us a great reason to run our post-holiday clearance sale every year, and we know you all love a good sale! We’ve combed through all the sale products and picked out seven of our favorites to showcase to you, but you can also check out the whole sale here! Enjoy!

Groot Holiday Special Funko Pop

This little Groot Funk Pop is amazing! We love him. The only problem was we got it too late. The whole “It’s kinda hard to sell a crate full of Christmas-themed toys when they show up on December 28th” comment from earlier? Yeah, that was this guy. But if you love Guardians of the Galaxy or just Groot, it’s a great purchase!

Fun & Inspiring Toothbrush

We’ve still got stock for most of our styles of the Fun & Inspiring toothbrush! What better way to start your day than with a cheeky little toothbrush that says “Oral hygiene. Heh heh…oral.”

Emergency Inflatable Rubber Chicken

It’s our professional opinion that people vastly underestimate the chances of finding yourself desperately in need of a rubber chicken, not to mention the devastation such situations can cause. Do yourself a favor and get an emergency inflatable rubber chicken.

Lunch Meat Bacon Nobooks - Set of 3

The only thing better than having a delicious slab of mean and a quality notebook to record your flavor experiences is having a delicious slab of mean and a quality MEAT THEMED notebook to record your flavor experiences. Take our word for it.

Pull N Pop Keychain

A delightfully addictive fidget toy. Get yourself one of these and you’ll be messing with it all day!

Dungeons & Dragons Yhatzee & Dice Tower

Enjoy a game of D&D-themed Yhatzee with your buddies while you discuss new character ideas, or make Yhatzee cannon in your homebrew world! This Yhatzee set comes with a dice tower you can use Yhatzee, D&D, or both!

Butts Ribbed Gym Socks

They’re just a quality pair of socks that say butts on them. Everyone loves butts (imagine trying to sit without one), and everyone will love you when you wear these socks.

Not quite satisfied, or just want to see all our sale items? You can browse the entire sale here. If you want to check out all our weird gifts, gags, games, and more, you can browse our entire catalog here.

10 Weird & Funny Cards to express your love this Valentine's Day

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 27 Jan 2023 01:30:12 -0500

Love. There’s been (give or take) 2 trillion poems written about it, twice that many songs, and it pops up in pretty much every movie, tv show, or book you run across. And your average Valentine’s Day card? It’s just spitting out the same old stuff. Don’t get the wrong message, we love love! But with Valentine’s day rolling around this year, here at Off the Wagon we’re looking for something more silly than serious. More funny than dramatic. If you’re not on the same page as us, no hard feelings. Have fun watching Titanic again and writing poetry in your “I love you” Valentine’s Card. For the rest of you though, we’ve got the perfect silly and ridiculous Valentine’s Day cards for a sillier, more lighthearted time! Check these out:

WE ALMOST FORGOT: All our cards are blank inside, leaving room for your message. They also come with a perfectly sized envelope.

“Light up my life like hot sauce lights up my asshole” Letterpress Card

It’s a very evocative comparison certainly, and there's certainly a way you could take it as a compliment. Especially if you like being in pain while on the toilet.

“True love does exist! Happy Valentine’s Day” Bigfoot Letterpress Card

True love might seem hard to find, but we promise you have it easier than sasquatches. Their natural evasive magic makes it nearly impossible for them to even meet one another, let alone fall in love!

You are a Magical Unicorn and everyone else can go F-ck themselves! Card

Being a unicorn is really just about the mentality. The horn and magic and stuff come later, with time. Disagree? Politely reference the “everyone else can go f-ck themselves” section of the card.

Heart Decoder Card

Grab a pen and write your own super secret message on the heart. Whoever you give the card to will be able to read it once they put on the included glasses!

I Like Your Butt Card

It’s not that you don’t like their personality and all that jazz, but sometimes a spectacular butt just deserves some extra attention.

Here's Your Damn Valentine's Greeting Card

Do you secretly (or not so secretly) hate Valentine’s day, but your partner still expects a card? Well, this card is perfect for you.

Buttface Valentine's Day Card

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you don’t think they’re a buttface. On the contrary, the better you know someone the better you get to know their particular brand of buttface-ness.

I Love Naps, Bacon, and You Scratch-off Card

The bit under the scratch-off reads “But if I had to choose, you’d be my favorite.” Pretty cute, right?

Classic Telegram Scratch-off Card

Like the scratch-off idea? Leave your own message under the scratch-off heart on the front of this card!

Looking for more Valentine’s day stuff? We’ve got cute plush, gag gifts, fun candy, and more cards in our Valentine’s day collection. If you want to browse all our weird and wacky stuff, you can look through our entire catalog here! Happy Valentine’s Day!

8 Funny and Unique Valentine’s Day Candies for 2022

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 02:00:00 -0500

On Valentine’s Day, we celebrate love! Everyone has their own little special ways they like to show their love, but on this holiday there is a common theme: Sugar! Sweets! Candy! After all, there is a reason lovebirds tell each other “you’re so sweet” and not “your so savory and salty.” That wouldn’t be that endearing. Well, maybe for some people, but that’s not the point. The point is that candy is awesome! Especially weird, off the beaten bath candies, are as fun to discover as they are to eat! ALSO, eating candy is a part of Valentine's Day that everyone can enjoy, whether you’re in a relationship, single, or part of some secret hermaphroditic alien race that’s hidden within the ranks of society! If you’re looking for weird and delicious candy for this Valentine’s Day, here is a list of some of our favorites:

Jelly Belly Rosé Jelly Beans

Rosé is pretty delicious every day of the year, but everyone knows that pink stuff just tastes better on Valentine’s Day! These Rosé flavored jelly beans are no exception!

Sour Pucker Lips

For a more sour option, we’ve got these sour pucker lips! They also make a delicious substitution for kisses if you’re wishing you had more of those in your life this Valentine’s Day.

Jelly Belly 10 Flavor Valentine’s Gift Box

With 10 different delicious flavors like red apple and strawberry cheesecake, everyone is bound to find something they absolutely adore in this jelly bean gift box!

Butthead Gum

The perfect candy gift for the beloved butthead in your life. Just because you love them doesn’t mean they don’t annoy the hell out of you every once and a while.

So Many Men, So Little Time Chocolates

All the hunky chocolate men you could ever want! The best part is if they start to be terrible and cram the patriarchy down your throat, you can just make them disappear (into your stomach).

Krispy Kreme Donuts Jelly Bean Mix Gift Box

Krispy Kreme Donut jelly beans have been some of our customer’s most loved candies for years, and this gift box gives you TONS of them, all nicely separated out into different flavors.

Champagne Jelly Beans bottle 1.5 oz

Celebrate your love with some champagne! If you wanna pop a bottle of Champagne, but would rather eat sweets than get tipsy, this bottle of Champagne flavored Jelly beans is perfect.

Wax Lips

Warm up your smoocher for the main event, take some ridiculous selfies, and then enjoy the chewy deliciousness! These wax lips can do it all!

Is your sweet tooth still begging for more? You can check out our entire candy collection here. If you want to browse all our Valentine’s Day products, including plush, cards, and more, you can see the collection here. And finally, if you want to browse everything we have to offer, all the weird gag gifts, fun games, and who knows what else, you can browse our entire catalog here. Happy Valentine’s Day!

9 Wonderfully Weird and Funny Valentine’s Day Gifts for 2023

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 6 Jan 2023 06:00:03 -0500

Love is a pretty big word. Some of us love pancakes. Some of us love cats. Some of us love a very specific human being a whole lot. We love all sorts of different people and things, and we show that love is just as many different ways! Some people show love with really expensive and fancy gifts, diamond rings, and fancy hats. Some people show love by cooking an exceedingly delicious meal. Here at Off the Wagon, we LOVE weird stuff and we show our love by giving quirky, weird little gifts to others. What’s better than creating very silly memories together while you laugh over a Valentine’s Day card that compares your undying love for one another to spicy hot sauce poops? If you’re nodding your head or chuckling in agreement, you’re probably in the right place. This Valentine’s Day, we’ve picked out 9 of our favorite gifts. Pick one out and give it to someone you love! We’re pretty sure you’ll get a smile or a laugh in return.

Jellycat Love-Me Lobster

This is no ordinary lobster. It’s a love lobster, or a LOVEBSTER as we like to call it. Who needs claws when you can have little plush hearts for hands?

Bigfoot Valentine’s Day Card

Sometimes love can seem as rare as Bigfoot. But they both exist, we promise! We were just hanging out with Bigfoot yesterday, and he was telling us all about his budding relationship.

Pugs and Kisses Magnet

Pugs and kisses are not mutually exclusive with hugs and kisses. In fact, pug hugs are highly encouraged.

Jelly Belly 10 Flavor Valentine's Gift Box

A box filled with 10 different flavors of delicious jelly beans, perfect for anyone with a sweet tooth. Want it gift-wrapped? We can do that for you!

“Light up my life like Hot Sauce Lights up my Asshole” Valentine’s Card

Spicy, unforgettable, a little painful, and totally worth it. True love!

Jellycat Plush Heart With Legs

An absolutely adorable little plush heart. A little on the nose for valentine’s day? Yeah, but who cares! Look at its little smile! And those little legs!

Wax Lips Candy

Big, succulent, delicious red lips. Perfect for smooching practice, taking some goofy pictures, or just chewing (they’re gummy).

Heart of Gold Patch

Give this patch to someone with a heart of gold. Hopefully a metaphorical one. Well, I guess it's fine if they have a literal heart made of gold as long as they also have another heart made of normal heart stuff.

I Fucking Love You Candle

“Smells like, I mean, probably. You know how temperamental I can be.” It can be hard to say I love you, but at least you can make the room smell nice without too much effort.

Not quite satisfied with this selection? Well no worries, we have a whole Valentine’s Day collection you can look through. Or if you want to see all our funny gifts and weird candy, you can check out our entire catalog here.

7 Fun Family Games For Cozy Winter Days

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 02:00:01 -0500

Christmas is over, and the New Year is (almost) here. The thing is we’ve still got quite a bit of winter left! Maybe you live in a warmer place than us, but here in Ohio, we’ve still got a solid 2 or 3 months till it truly warms up. That’s a lot of cozy weekends watching tv and playing board games. And honestly? We’re kind of looking forward to it. Here at Off the Wagon, we love playing games and doing puzzles. Plus, we’re excited to relax a bit after all the holiday craziness. If you can relate with us we’ve got good news. While we’ve been contemplating our winter game-playing hibernation, we’ve picked out 7 fun games and activities we’re super excited to get to in the first part of 2023.

Cowpie Catapults

For a quick, silly game that literally anyone can play and have fun with, it’s hard to beat Cowpie Catapults! Set up the cows on your side of the playing board, then use your catapult to fling cowpies at your opponent’s cows and knock them over before they knock your cows over! It sounds simple but we promise it’s fun, even for adults!

Spicy Dice Game

Do you like Yahtzee, but you’ve played it so much at this point you’re looking for something a bit different? Spicy Dice is like Yahtzee with some extra twists. Each die has a red “spicy” face that can complicate the scoring in all sorts of interesting ways.

Murder Mystery Party Case Files

Perfect for a fun night with family or friends! You can keep it casual, or throw a whole party with costumes and special food! Each of these case files has everything you need for one epic night of mystery and detective work.

Gimme That - Wild Fast Potato Fun!

In this fast-paced family game, players will be trying to cross off all 100 potatoes on their sheet. The thing is, there is only one pencil for the whole table! Players will be constantly rolling the dice to try and get the pencil in their hand, steal another player’s sheet or other sorts of shenanigans!

Cat-Astrophe Game

This box full of plastic cats is kind of a game and kind of building activity. The only real goal is to build big towers out of the stacking cats! You can race with your friends, have time trials, or just enjoy a relaxing time building.

IQ Mini Puzzler

A great puzzler game you can take on the go and play anywhere. It’s designed so that you can change the layout on the fly to create hundreds of different puzzles in seconds.

Not quite sold on any of these? No problem at all, we’ve got tons of other games to choose from in our games collection. You can also look in our jigsaw puzzle collection for a similar kind of activity. Or, if you want to browse all our weird gifts and gags, you can browse our entire catalog here!

Get your last-minute shopping done at our Kent or Chagrin Falls Locations!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 16 Dec 2022 02:00:01 -0500

What a wild holiday season it’s been for us! Here at Off the Wagon, we’ve been packing and shipping orders to people all over the country (and the world) like crazy people for a while now. But that madness is soon coming to an end. You know what we want now — what we’re really looking forward to? Some real human interaction, baby! With you, our customers!

Now we know a lot of you don’t live anywhere near our brick-and-mortar stores in northeast Ohio, but for those of you that do, we hope you stop by! We have locations in Kent and Chagrin Falls, and we’d love to see you for some last-minute shopping or just to have a good time browsing our collections. We’re definitely a little biased, but we think our stores (especially the Chagrin Falls location) are a super fun place to take kiddos that are home on Christmas break!

Below we’ve listed addresses and hours for this coming week leading up to Christmas to make planning a visit super easy.

KENT LOCATION

152 E Main St, Kent, OH 44240

(330)-474-1330

Holiday Hours:

Monday 19th - Thursday 22nd: 10 am to 8 pm

Friday 23rd: 9 am to 9 pm

Christmas Eve (24th): 9 am to 4 pm

Christmas Day: Closed!

CHAGRIN FALLS LOCATION

12 N Main St, Chagrin Falls, OH 44022

(440)-903-1047

Holiday Hours:

Monday 19th - Tuesday 21st: 10 am to 6 pm

Wednesday 22nd - Thursday 23rd: 10 am to 8 pm

Friday 23rd: 9 am to 8 pm

Christmas Eve (24th): 9 am to 4 pm

Christmas Day: Closed!

We hope to see you and wish you a Merry Christmas in person! For everyone who can’t stop by because of distance or crazy holiday schedules, have a Happy Holidays! Much love from us here at Off the Wagon, and thanks for shopping with us this year!

9 Last-Minute Stocking Stuffers for Christams 2022!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 9 Dec 2022 01:30:02 -0500

CHRISTMAS IS GETTING VERY CLOSE PEOPLE! 16 days away as of writing this blog! And with Christmas comes all sorts of wonderful traditions - cookies, eggnog, presents, and stockings! If your family or friends do stocking for Christmas, you know how fun it can be. You get all sorts of candy and knick knacks, and you don’t have to wait your turn to open the next gift - you just get the whole stocking all at once! Here at Off the Wagon we’re big stocking fans, and we think our store is uniquely suited for finding amazing stocking stuffers. After all, we have so many little toys, silly gums, weird candies, and just awesome stuff that’s inexpensive and small. Out of all those options, we’ve picked out 9 stocking stuffers that we think are perfect for a wide variety of folks! Check these out!

Hot Dog Candy

Want some off the beaten path candy flavors? How about hot dog candy? We’ve tried it, and it tastes eerily similar to the real thing. Give it to a hot dog lover or just anyone to weird them out!

Uh Oh Emergency Underpants

One pair of genuine backup underpants in a quality tin! One of the more absurd and most loved products we have, this hilarious gift will get anyone laughing!

Ask Your Doctor About Shutting Up Gum

Whether you have to buy a stocking stuffer for a sibling you don’t get along with, or you just want to show some attitude, this will do the job!

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

It’s a squirrel wearing underpants, and it’s adorable and truly weird. It smells like a fresh forest, and it will look amazing hanging from their rear view mirror!

Poop Lollipops

Big ol’ delicious lollipops, but poop shaped. And as we all know, poop is pretty funny. Get a zombie poop, a magical sparkle poop, or an original poop!

Nose Flute

These are one of our most loved products and we get why! Just blow through your nose and you can make all sorts of fun noises and songs! It's super fun, super easy, small enough for a stocking, and super inexpensive!

Fat Kit on a Seesaw Koozie

A stocking stuffer for beer lovers with a really dumb (and we say that affectionately) sense of humor. In other words, it’s perfect for most dads!

Jelly Belly Cocktail Classics

A great stocking stuffer for adults (although kids would probably like them too), these pack of jelly beans has delicious flavors like pina colada, strawberry daiquiri, mojito, and more!

Uranus Soap

Uranus isn’t just a planet (wink wink). Another one of our customer’s favorite products, this soap is perfect stocking stuffer size and it is bound to get AT LEAST a couple good laughs!

Hot Dog Candy

Want some off the beaten path candy flavors? How about hot dog candy? We’ve tried it, and it tastes eerily similar to the real thing. Give it to a hot dog lover or just anyone to weird them out!

If you want to keep browsing, we have an entire stocking stuffers collection on our website! If you’re more interested in candy specifically, check out our holiday candy selection! If you just want to see all our stuff, browse our entire catalog!

9 Weird Candies for a Sweet Christmas 2022!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 2 Dec 2022 01:00:00 -0500

Deck the halls with lots of candy, fa la la la la-la la la la! Tis the season to eat candy, fa la la la la-la la la la! Eat we now our yummy candy, fa la la-la la la-la la la! Something, something, yule-tide CANDY, fa la la la la-la la la la!

Obviously, Christmas is already pretty sweet in the metaphorical sense, but why not make it sweet in the literal sense too? After all, the only thing better than opening presents is eating candy and opening presents at the same time (also going mini-golfing with Bigfoot, depending on the weather)! Candy also makes for great stocking stuffers & white elephant gifts. Check these candies out:

Lump of Coal Bubblegum Tin

There is nothing more reminiscent of Christmas than huge piles of coal under the tree. Oh wait, that’s just us? Well look at you, goody two shoes over here actually got presents. Well if you know anyone who was more non the naughty side, this candy will be sure to trigger some nostalgia!

Pop Rocks

These things are basically magical. Like, we know it’s some fancy science thing that makes them pop the way they do, but it might as well be magic because we don’t understand it. But they’re yummy and so much fun to put in your mouth!

Hot Dog Candy Canes

Yum! If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I wish I could munch a hot dog and eat candy canes at the same time,” now is your chance! You’ll be surprised at how much these actually taste like hot dogs!

Harry Potter Butterbeer Chewy Candies

Treat yourself to some delicious butterbeer candies! They’re flavored with the iconic butterscotch flavor of butterbeer from Harry Potter, and now you don’t even have to visit Hogsmead to get a glass!

Ask your doctor if shutting the f-ck up is right for you gum

A fun stocking stuffer for that uncle who talks way too much. Or makes a great gift for a family member you’ve spent all too much time with this holiday season!

Draft Beer Jelly Beans

A perfect stocking stuffer for any beer aficionados, or just a supper yummy treat you can eat in the mornings guilt free!

Poop Lollipops

Big poop shaped lollipops in three varieties: zombie poop, magical sparkle poop, and original poop! Plus, they’re not even made with real poop!

Beanboozled Naughty or Nice

This box of jelly beans is filled with yummy Christmas flavors, but also some nasty ones! Take turns with friends or family trying different flavors and see if you’re lucky enough to avoid the gross ones!

Ketchup Candy In a Tin

Ketchup is pretty much the perfect flavor - it goes with everything! With these ketchup candies, you can finally have ketchup for dessert! Well, I guess you could have before this, but not it just makes more sense.

Want more candy, check out our entire candy collection! Or browse our entire catalog for gifts, games, gags, and more! Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

11 Cheap and Hilarious Gifts for Christmas 2022

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Wed, 16 Nov 2022 15:10:51 -0500

Here at Off the Wagon, we're kind of obsessed with really weird and funny stuff. You could say it's our specialty! We’re super into rubber chickens, sassy socks, strange candies, and all sorts of super weird gag gifts. And most of our stuff is super cheap, making it perfect for a little gift to a friend or coworker, a stocking stuffer, or a white elephant gift. Sounding pretty great so far, right? The one potential problem with our store is we have a bunch of stuff. Like, A BUNCH of it. But don’t worry, that’s why we’re writing this blog. Out of all our butt-loads of stuff, we’ve picked out 11 gifts we think will especially rock for this upcoming holiday season. Check them out:

Hot Dog Candy Canes

Listen, if you’re still eating boring old peppermint-flavored candy canes during the Christmas season, you need to get with the times. Slap some ketchup on this candy cane, or just eat it raw. Either way, it’ll be delicious.

Uranus Soap

We’re sure that anyone you give this to will deeply appreciate the ability to thoroughly clean Uranus with this specially designed soap. Frankly, it takes a lot of work to keep that big, round beauty sparkling clean. Uranus will thank you for the effort, too.

Nose Flute

You might be thinking “this isn’t really a funny gift, it’s just a weird looking instrument.” Well, just wait till you hear someone try and play it! We give you full permission to laugh at them because it will sound pretty ridiculous. That doesn't mean it’s not super fun to try out though!

Fart Jokes Gum

You know how fancy people pair a fine wine with old cheese? Well, we like to pair fart jokes with gum. It’s way more fun and affordable.

Squirrel in Underpants Air Freshener

Not only is this squirrel wearing underpants, but it’s freshly washed, crisp and clean underpants! Someone even ironed out all the wrinkles. We also gave the squirrel a bath. All this combined is why the little critter smells so nice! Plus, they make a great road trip partner.

Get Along With Your Coworkers Gum

This gum will (probably) magically solve all your workplace drama and help you to get along perfectly with your coworkers. The chance is much higher if they like gum. And if you’re willing to share gum. Or just give it to them outright.

Who Says This Job is Stressful Magnet

I’m 28 and I feel great! Perfect for your friend that works way too hard. Or maybe you are that friend.

Stay Positive Magnet

Look at him - full of positivity and charm even in the face of imminent death (unless that's a much friendlier shark than it appears to be). If this little fella can stay positive, then so can you!

World’s Smallest Minion’s Fart Gun

Yes, it is super tiny, and yes it actually works. Well, it makes little fart sounds at least. It doesn’t actually blow out stinky green gas (unfortunately), but sometimes you have to compromise.

Finger Hands

Ever wished you had a few more hands? Two isn’t really that many if you think about it. If you put a finger hand on each finger, you can easily get up to 12! But even one or two of these bad boys can go a long way.

Not quite satisfied with this list? You can browse our whole collection of weird and funny gifts here. We also sell games, toys, meditating Bigfoots, and so much more on our website. Check it out for yourself!

14 Weird & Funny Christmas Ornaments for 2022

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 11 Nov 2022 01:00:07 -0500

Hello everyone! We've still got Thanksgiving and the rest of November to get through, but soon enough Christmas trees will start popping up in homes everywhere! Regardless of when the tree goes up, everyone wants their tree to be fun and festive for the holiday season, us included! Here at Off The Wagon, we have some of the weirdest and most funny ornaments you’ll find anywhere, perfect for making your tree unique and ridiculous! Or you can give them as gifts that are sure to create fun memories with family and friends! Check these ornaments out:

Hot Dog Ornament

Being an ornament of a hot dog is already weird enough, but once you add in the honestly terrifying smile and googly eyes you’ve got something really special!

Axolotl Ornament

Everyone’s favorite pink salamander can now hang out on your Christmas tree! The charm of Axolotls is how simultaneously weird looking and adorable they are, making for a perfect ornament!

Meditating Mushroom

Sometimes a mushroom just needs to grow some arms and legs so it can meditate better. And honestly? We respect the initiative.

Creepy Horse Head Ornament

A little bit terrifying, but otherwise this ornament is silly and fun! Be warned though, Santa will almost definitely judge you if he sees this on your tree.

Lucky Yodeling Christmas Pickle Ornament

This might be our absolute favorite ornament. It’s a pickle that yodels when you walk by it! And yes, it’s as amazing and potentially annoying as you imagine - making it a perfect gift to put on someone else’s tree!

Festive Booze Balls

Fill these up with your favorite spirits, and then crack them open during the holiday celebrations to raise your Christmas spirit!

Mustache Ornament

A finely groomed mustache is a thing of beauty, and this mustache is pristine. It will make your tree seem sophisticated and fashionable!

Squirrel In Underpants Ornament

Why is the squirrel wearing underpants? Where did it find underpants that fit it so perfectly? We’re not sure. All we really know is this ornament is fantastically silly and we love it.

Santa Possum Ornament

Santa Possum is one of Santa’s many helpers for delivering presents on Christmas eve. Unfortunately if Santa Possum gets spotted by curious kids, it just plays dead instead of turning invisible like normal Santa. It’s caused some issues.

Tardigrade Ornament

We’re sure you already know what a Tardigrade is and we don’t need to explain it in much detail. Because we definitely know what it is too and we’re not just selling it because it looks really weird and we think that’s funny. Glad we’re on the same page.

Santa Monk Ornament

Looking for more of a meditative holiday? Santa monk has you covered. He’s ready to lead you in some Christmas morning meditation!

Enlightened Bigfoot Ornament

Alternatively, you can have Bigfoot lead your meditation! In the past few years Bigfoot has gotten really into yoga and meditation and mindfulness, and he really wants to share his new passion with you this Christmas season.

Blobfish Ornament

Arguably more frightening than the creepy horse head ornament, especially because blobfish are a real thing. At the same time, this is just delightfully weird!

Santaur Ornament

In the parallel fantasy dimension, Santa is actually a centaur. A really buff centaur that gallops shirtless through the lands tossing gifts to all the dwarves and fauns and other fantasy people.

This is most of our ornaments, but we have a few more in our ornaments collection on our website! If you’re looking for Christmas gifts, or just weird stuff in general, you can check out our entire catalogue!

Our 7 Favorite Weird & Funny Christmas Gifts

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 4 Nov 2022 02:00:01 -0400

Here at Off the Wagon, we love weird stuff. It’s kind of our thing. So when it comes to Christmas git recommendations, it should come as no surprise that our list is gonna contain a lot of weird stuff on in. In this case, it’s all weird stuff! Giving weird, funny gifts for Christmas can be so much fun, especially if you’re getting a gift for someone that’s hard to buy for. Everyone can enjoy laughing together with their friends or family as they open up a completely absurd gift! Plus, a lot of our favorite gifts work amazingly as stocking stuffers, small side gifts, or even for a white elephant gift exchange. So there’s no reason you can’t get them that thing they asked for and also a little something weird on the side! We could keep ranting for pages and pages about why we love giving weird stuff as Christmas gifts, but no one wants to read all that. So we’ll cut to the juicy part now: the list of our 7 favorite weird and funny Christmas Gift ideas for the 2022 holiday season! Check it out:

Farts Farts Farts Socks

Let’s put an end to the idea that socks make for a super lame Christmas gift, ok? That might be true of the blandest white socks you can find, but these Farts socks? They’re amazing! And if you don’t like these, we have TONS of other cool, exciting socks to pick from here.

Hot Dog Ornament

Do you know anyone who collects really weird ornaments (yes, you can count yourself)? Well, this is for them. An ornament of a hot dog would be weird enough by itself, but slap on a pair of frankly creepy eyes and you’ve got something really special and weird.

Emotional Support Chicken

This highly trained rubber chicken has finely tuned emotional intelligence. When you’re feeling down, it will be there for you. When you need someone to listen, it will listen, and when you need some words of affirmation, you can squeeze it for a loud, hearty SQUAK of love.

Festivus Candle

A candle for Festivus. Smells like the rest of us (but actually rum punch scented). “Happy December 23rd. Thanks for another disappointing year.” A grumpy candle perfect for grumpy friends or family members. Or just Sinefeld fans.

Calm your Tits Mug

Just to be clear, tits are birds. Not that we know what else you’d think they were. This mug is a celebration of tits everywhere, showcasing some of the most spectacular tits on the planet. You know, like the long-tailed tit and the bearded tit.

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

Forget peppermint candy canes! It’s 2022! Get with the times and try some weird candy cane flavors! Mac & Cheese is a safe bet because it’s delicious. I mean, who doesn’t like mac & cheese?

Uh Oh Emergency Underpants

One of our very best gag gifts! You never know what’s going to happen, but with these uh oh emergency underpants, you’ll always be prepared!

Want even more weird and funny gift ideas? Well, you’ve come to the right place! You can browse our 2022 funny Christmas gifts collection or just check out our entire catalog! Regardless, you’ll find all sorts of super fun games, funny gifts, weird gags, odd candies, and more! There’s bound to be something you’ll love!

Hot Dog Candy Canes & 11 Other Weird Flavors

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 28 Oct 2022 02:00:01 -0400

Christmas is creeping closer people! If you stop and take a deep sniff you can almost smell those iconic scents: pine needles, mistletoe, and the savory smells of Hot Dog flavored candy canes. That last one might just be all the Hot Dog candy canes we have stacked up in our back room though.

Listen, if you’re still eating boring old peppermint flavored candy canes during the Christmas season, you need to get with the times. It’s 2022 people! Why settle for peppermint when human ingenuity has brought us wondrous flavors like Mac & Cheese, Caesar Salad, and Bacon? And sure, we get that the traditional flavor is important to some people, but there’s no reason you can’t get some more interesting flavors to mix in there! Plus, these make a perfect silly Christmas gift for a friend, funny stocking suffers, or a white elephant gift that people will find hilarious!

New Candy Cane Flavors:

Every year we get new, weird candy cane flavors here at Off the Wagon, and every year we think to ourselves “how are they going to top this next year?” But then they do! We’ll start off this list with the flavors that are new to us this year! Check these out:

Hot Dog Candy Canes

A little taste of summer! Now you can enjoy the 4th of July, memorial day, and all those sunny weekends grilling up hot dogs from the comfort of your cozy winter blanket by the fire!

Butter Candy Canes

You won’t believe it’s not butter! Except that it’s much, much crunchier than butter. So maybe you will believe it.

Brisket Flavored Candy Canes

Yum! Even your vegetarian friends can snack on one of these. There is a (very) small chance they might even like it!

Ceaser Salad Candy Canes

You get all the flavor of a Ceaser Salad without any of the health benefits! Nice!

Sardine Candy Canes

Classic Candy Cane Flavors:

Don’t worry, we’ve also brought back your favorites from years past! Here they are.

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

In past years, these have been our customer’s most-loved candy canes! And we understand why - who doesn't love mac & cheese?

Sour Cream & Onion Candy Canes

Another much-loved flavor, not far behind mac & cheese.

Pickle Candy Canes

If you thought pickles were crunchy, wait till you try these!

Bacon Candy Canes

These are one of the oldest weird-flavored candy canes we carry! Not like the candy canes themselves are really old, we’ve just had this flavor for a while.

Ketchup Candy Canes

Pairs nicely with the hot dog candy cane!

Pho Candy Canes

For a wildly different texture experience from the beloved soup!

Kale Candy Canes

You can browse our collection of candy canes and other Christmas stuff here, but fair warning this blog has been pretty comprehensive! You won’t find any other flavors on our website (at least till next year). What you can find, however, is all sorts of other cool stuff like gifts, games, gags, candy, and more! You can browse our entire catalog here!

15 Weird & Unique Candies For Halloween 2022!

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 16:35:24 -0400

Halloween is quickly approaching, and bags of candy are flying off the shelves everywhere! Now, candy is candy, it’s (pretty much) all yummy. But if Halloween is all about candy, it’s also about weird and spooky stuff! So why isn’t our candy weird and spooky? Here at Off the Wagon, we’ve got all sorts of weird, funny, and spooky candies to spice up (sometimes literally) your Halloween this year! Now, if you’re a fiend for some of that normal candy (Reese's yes please), there’s no reason you can’t get both, but our weird Halloween candy will bump up the Halloween experience to the next level! Check these out and we’re pretty sure you’ll be convinced:

Gummy Tarantula

Use it to freak out your friends and then enjoy it as a delicious treat. Giant spider legs have never tasted so good!

Pez Singles

Find the matching Pez for your Halloween costume, or just pick your favorite character! We’ve got tons of great options to choose from.

Wax Lips

Part costume, part yummy treat! Hold the wax lips in your teeth to show off your big, bold red lips, then enjoy them as chewing gum.

Haribo Shaped Gummies

Lots of fun flavors and shapes like dinosaurs, frogs, bears, spaghetti, and of course, the classic gummy worm.

Tequila Worm Sucker

Yes, it’s a real worm. Who doesn't love a little extra protein in their sucker, right? Makes a great prank gift.

Toe of Satan

A VERY spicy lollipop. Like VERY spicy, so eat at your own risk! Don’t worry though, it’s not an actual toe.

Harry Potter Chocolate Frog

It might not hop away like in the movie, but honestly, we consider that a plus. It’s still delicious!

Beanboozled Firey Five

More spicy candy. This box comes with five different flavors, from not-too-spicy Sriracha, to light your mouth-on-fire Carolina Reaper.

Pop Rocks

A classic, but a weird classic. The feeling of putting Pop Rocks in your mouth will never not be a little weird, and that’s a good thing!

Kale Candy in a Tin

It may be candy, but it’s Kale flavored, so that makes it healthy!

Bacon & Cheese Flavored Crickets

Crunchy, smokey, and cheesy! What more could you ask for? (And yes, they’re real crickets).

Poop Lollipops

Don’t worry, they just look like little poops, it’s not a taste thing. We tried those in the past, but they didn’t sell very well for some reason.

Hot Dog Candy in a Tin

An American classic! No need for a grill and buns and ketchup when you’ve got the whole flavor explosion in candy form!

Eye Candy Ring

Ring pop meets disembodied eyeball.

Krispy Kreme Jelly Beans

One of our most delicious flavors of jelly beans!

Looking for more Halloween stuff? Check our Halloween collection here. For more weird and wacky candy options, you can check out our candy collection here. Or for literally everything we have to offer (games, gags, gifts, etc.) you can check out our entire catalog here! Happy Halloween!

8 Weird but Simple Halloween Costumes for 2022

noemail@noemail.org (Nate Sahr) — Fri, 14 Oct 2022 02:00:01 -0400

Halloween can be a fantastically fun holiday, especially if you’re a kid dressing up as your favorite superhero, princess, or cartoon character! Costumes can be super fun for adults too, but you might not have a good reason for a full-blown costume every year! Or maybe you do but you’re a bit too unmotivated to put together an epic Darth Vader costume this time around. Either way, we’ve got you covered. Here at Off the Wagon, we’ve got an assortment of weird stuff that works perfectly as a lazy Halloween costume! These costumes are a whole lot better than nothing, weird enough to get some good laughs at any Halloween party, and super simple to wear! Check these out:

Fake Mustaches

These fake mustaches are a classic for a reason! Just slap on one and instantly you’re a new person. Unless you already have a mustache, in which case we would really recommend not using these (sounds painful to take off).

Inflatable Beard of Bees

If you want a weirder and more epic facial hair experience, consider blowing up this beard of bees and wearing it around! You get all the aesthetic benefits of a real beard of bees without all the bee stings! Sounds nice, right?

Tiny T-Rex Arms

Grab one of these for each of your hands and boom, you’ve got a very silly and very lazy T-Rex costume! Bonus points if you pin your arms to your side for the night and only pick things up with your tiny t-Rex arms!

Kitty Cuddle Costumes: Squirrel & Acorn

Got a feline friend you want to dress up as well? With this adorable costume set, you can dress up as a squirrel and dress your cat up as an acorn! The easiest couples costume ever (at least if your cat cooperates with getting the acorn hat on).

Kitty Cuddle costumes: Pumpkin Pals

If you like the kitty costume idea, but have a burning hatred of squirrels (or just like pumpkins more), this is a great alternative.

Monster Teeth

Another classic Halloween Staple. With just a pair of these, clothes you already have in your wardrobe, and maybe some hair gel (totally optional), you can easily pull off a vampire look! Or you could just go for a modern vampire and forget about wearing any different clothes than you normally would.

Beardies for Kids

Dress up kids as grown men! Works as an accessory for a much more elaborate costume, or just on its own!

Cerberus Kigurumi

Ok, this one is certainly not cheap, but it’s just as fun and simple as any other option on this list! Just hop in this onesie and you’re done! Then you just have to guard the gates of the underworld for the rest of the evening. Easy, right?

If you want to browse all our Halloween stuff, you can check out our Halloween collection here. If you want to see everything we’ve got, including games, gifts, gags, candy, and more, you can browse our entire collection here!