Girls Want What Other Girls Have

Whether for love, power, or sex, women have always wanted the men that other women have. Frankly, I don’t know why it happens; I’m not a psychologist. I just know it has always been the case and always will be. Have you ever been talking to a gorgeous girl and noticed other girls looking you up and down? They’re doing that because you’re immediately more attractive to them. They see the other girl laughing and having a good time with you and wonder what they’re missing.

Think about that for a moment in context with what we’ve been talking about on this blog. When you walk into a room filled with attractive women, you approach them and start busting playfully, right? Most of the time, the women are going to love the experience. Finally, here’s a guy who’s not a wuss. He’s not afraid to turn on the cocky charm. Do it right and they’ll smile and laugh.

Now, think about how other girls in the room perceive this. They see other sexy women talking with you and have a great time. These other girls are going to want in on the action. A lot of them will actually come around, trying to get your attention. And that’s when you can turn it up a notch. Here’s how…

When a girl walks by (and she’s obviously trying to see what she’s missing), turn away from the woman you’re talking to, look her in the eyes, and say something funny to her. Get a smile, get a laugh, turn back around, and start talking with the first woman again. If you do it with that cocky charm you brought with you, I can almost guarantee both girls will find you even more attractive.

Do you realize how powerful that is?

Don’t Cross The Line

There’s a fine line that separates a girl’s competitive nature and jealousy. Gently leveraging a woman’s tendency to want men with whom other girls are having a great time is fine. Jealousy, on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame. Don’t actively encourage it, but don’t shrink away from doing the things that make you more attractive to women. Approach girls wherever you go. Use your cocky charm to set them off their game. And don’t worry about whether they’ll like you. Pretty soon, the attention other girls will be giving you is going to send the message loud and clear.

It’s time to regroup and approach the situation like I’ve been teaching you. First, you need to master the art of leaving a message. Then, you need to make yourself scarce. Let’s talk about how to do both.

Get In, Get Out

The fact that you called a girl a number of times with nothing to show for it tells me something: you’re thinking about her too much. And believe it or not, if you’re desperate for her attention, it’ll come through on the message you leave. She’ll hear it in your voice. Make your messages short and sweet. Call her and say, “Hey, it’s John (or whatever). I’m at 555-555-5555. Call me back.” Click. That’s it. Not only does that stop you from sounding like a wuss, but it lets her know that you have other things going on. Which leads me to my next point…

Date More Women

It doesn’t get any simpler than this. Trust me, if you’re going out with a lot of different girls, you won’t be thinking so much about just one of them. You won’t have the time or energy. Now, imagine that you’ve got 7 dates set up this week. You call one of them, but it goes to voicemail. Do you think you’re going to be worried about that one girl calling you back? Of course not. You have 6 other gorgeous women to spend time with. And chances are, when you’re leaving the message, that confidence is going to come out loud and clear in your voice. She’ll know she better not wait too long or she’ll miss out.

Wait A Few Weeks

Let’s say you call once and don’t get a call back. It doesn’t really matter since you have your hands full with other girls. Even so, why throw the opportunity away if you can easily salvage it. Send her a quick email, letting her know that you’ll give her another chance. If you still get no response, wait a few weeks before calling again. That sends a clear message that you’re busy and don’t have time to play games. Then, let her know as long as she’s willing to take you to a nice dinner, you’ll forgive her.

If she laughs at your cockiness and calls back, great. If not, move on. Let her play those games with some other guy. You have other girls to have fun with.

In this world of over six billion people, and after all the bizarre people I’ve seen online, there’s no doubt in my mind that there’s someone out there that fits her personality perfectly. Perhaps Ronald?…

The Great Male Survey covered every topic you’d be interested in, from dating trends, to money trends, all the way to the always intriguing sexuality trends.

Here are a few answers that definitely break the typical stereotypes of men…

• 77% of men think it is important that a girlfriend have “wife potential”
• 69% of men would never cheat

And some less shocking answers…

• 97% of men think sex is important in a relationship
• 86% of men are not completely satisfied with their sex lives

Want to see more answers? Check out the Askmen.com Great Male Survey Results.

If you’ve been following my advice, you should already be meeting tons of beautiful girls and getting their phone numbers. For everyone else, let’s take a look at why you’re not having success in the clubs yet.

Be Different Than Other Guys

Most guys annoy women in clubs. They approach women with their silly pickup lines or they go for the “sweet and thoughtful” angle and end up looking like wusses. You need to be different. The only thing that’s going to create attraction in the girls you meet in clubs is to be confident and in control. She doesn’t see those qualities in other guys. You can stand out by letting her see those qualities in you.

Choosing Your Targets

Some of the women that you approach won’t give you the time of day. It won’t matter how confident and in control you are. That goes with the territory in clubs, so get accustomed to it. But, develop an eye for identifying the girls who are wasting your time and the ones who’ll warm up to you after a few minutes. If a girl is rude, move on. But, if you’re talking with a girl who’s showing resistance, keep the conversation going. Show some brashness, confidence and your funny side (just like normal). Chances are, she’ll start feeling attracted to you. Choosing your targets well allows you to focus on girls you actually want to meet.

Ask For The Sale

In sales, it’s called “going for the close.” You have to ask for the sale. The same is true when meeting women. Believe it or not, there are men out there who walk up to girls in clubs, talk with them for a minute and expect them to volunteer their phone numbers. Asking for the phone number is a show of confidence. “Sales” don’t happen until you ask for them.

Practice Makes Perfect

If you want to get better at approaching women in clubs, you need to practice. Go to a club and approach every beautiful woman you see. Show confidence, a little cockiness, humor and have fun. At first, you may be horrible at it. You’ll get the cold shoulder. Who cares? You’re getting valuable experience. It doesn’t matter what the girls say or do as a result. You may even get a few phone numbers.

It won’t take long for you to master the art of meeting women in clubs and instantly igniting the attraction they feel toward you. It’s a matter of doing what other guys don’t, choosing your targets and asking for the sale.

Remember, practice makes perfect.

I was blown away. He had a hundred ways to turn it around, slam the ball back and create attraction in this woman. Instead, he left defeated. So, I made a note of it. I can’t bare the thought of you falling into the same trap. Let’s talk about using conversation to build attraction.

“What” Matters Less Than “How”

One of the things that constantly trips up men who want to be successful with women is that they don’t know what to talk about with women. Here’s the funny thing: what you talk about isn’t nearly as important as how you talk about it. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about lipstick, motorcycles, or the latest celebrity news. Do it the wrong way and you’ll put her to sleep. But, if you approach it correctly, you can generate attraction instantly.

The way you move your body when you’re talking, flirting and being funny, using eye contact to be subtly seductive and poking fun at the girl… they’re all part of attraction conversation. She won’t even realize how attracted she is until she’s handing you her phone number.

The Art Of Playful Banter

Most beautiful women are used to guys falling over themselves when they try to talk to them. It’s actually entertaining to watch. It’s also a good lesson in what not to do. Their problem is that they get intimidated. You need to master the art of banter. It’s okay to be cocky. In fact, you should be. But, the real skill is always having a comeback that you can lob over the net. When a woman says things that imply she’s turned off (for example, “you think you’re pretty special, don’t you?”), she’s opening the door for you to crush the ball. Men who understand attraction already know this and leverage it.

Pulling Her In And Getting Her Ready

First, you need to realize that you create attraction. All of that talk about chemistry is nonsense. You create chemistry. You already have the ingredients. It’s in the way you start and maintain a conversation. Use body language, eye contact, hidden meanings and flirting to pull the girl in. You control these things. If you’re bad at it, get better. By mastering the art of conversation, you’ll be able to build attraction whenever you want with whomever you want. It’s not magic. It just takes practice (and someone like me to help you).

On the other side, you have the men who somehow allow control to be ripped from their grasp. And the more control they lose, the less attractive they become. Which side do you want to be on?

Economics, Sex And Control

Sex and economics are similar in at least one way. It’s about market demand. Think about when a new gaming console is released to the public. Everyone clamors for the gadget and the price skyrockets. Control shifts from the buyers to the seller of the console. Sex and attraction work in the same way. The more you want the woman, the higher the price goes. The more you pay, the more control you lose.

Women know this. It’s instinctive to them. And they’ll use it to get you to jump through hoops to prove yourself. That is, if you let them. When women know you’re into them, they begin to pull you along. They’ll coax you into taking them out to dinner, buying them things and other nonsense to win them over. Some people call this “courting.” I call it “being a wuss.”

Why Courting Rips Control From You

The problem with courting is that it’s a built-in control vacuum. In other words, each step you take to prove your worth and win over a girl sucks a slice of control out of your hands. Now, think about how that kills attraction. Women love to be around men who are in control. They want leaders. They want decision-makers. When control is ripped from your hands, it makes you less attractive. The irony is staggering.

How Attraction And Control Work Together

If you really want to be successful with the women you meet, don’t lose control. Let them take you to dinner. Let them pay. Let them pursue you. If you’re building attraction in women like I’ve been showing you, they’ll be happy to do it. A lot of men get caught in the notion that we’re supposed to pursue women and pay for everything. That’s nonsense. And worse, it puts you in a position where you lose control and become less attractive.

You want to be attractive to women? Stay in control, show your edge and don’t fall all over yourself trying to win her over.

But, some of you… you’re finding that the women you’re with are suddenly losing interest in you. More often than not, the thing that’s killing the attraction she used to feel for you is that you’re too clingy. We’ve put this topic off long enough. It’s not going to fix itself. So, let’s talk about how to stop being clingy.

What Makes A Guy Cling To A Girl

To figure out how to stop clinging onto a woman, you need to understand why you’re doing it in the first place. There are a lot of reasons, but the most important thing to understand is that it’s not as much about the girl as you think. It’s usually because you don’t want to be lonely. I don’t want to get too psychological here, but think for a moment. There are millions of girls who are dying to go out with a guy who’s confident, brash and funny. Why on earth would you be lonely? That feeling makes no sense. Get rid of it.

Why Being Clingy Can Destroy Attraction

The worst part of clinging onto a woman is that it destroys any attraction you’ve worked to build. Remember, being clingy is the exact opposite of being confident. Confidence and leadership create attraction. Clinginess kills it.

When a guy walks up to a girl and he’s charming, a little cocky and obviously knows how to take control, most women don’t even know how to react. After all, it’s rare for them to meet men like that. These type of guys create an instant spark. It begins as curiosity and builds to attraction.

On the other hand, when a guy clings to a girl, it’s annoying. There’s no mystery or challenge. When that happens, the attraction starts to deteriorate.

Breaking The Cycle

If you’re the clingy type, there’s still hope for you. But, you have to make the decision to break the cycle. It’s not complicated. You just need to show confidence whenever you’re around women. They’ll pick up on it instantly and gravitate toward you. How do you show it? By making fun of the girl you’re with. By taking control, leading and making decisions. These things build attraction. Remember, even if you’re in a relationship, attraction ebbs and flows. It’s either growing or shriveling. Evict that clingy part of you and focus on being attractive to women.

I’ve been a member of several high-profile dating websites for years. I like to see how the memberships work and the features they offer so I can keep tabs on them. I’ve been exploring eHarmony’s service recently. Right off the bat, you’ll notice it’s a lot different than the other memberships. Here’s why: they focus on getting people together who’ll stay together. A lot of other dating sites are glorified meat markets. You’ll see the same singles circulating. eHarmony takes steps to match people who can actually build a relationship. Here’s what I discovered since becoming a member…

Notable Features

I have to mention the personality profile. It’s one of the standout features that makes eHarmony unique. Now, I’ve filled out these profiles for dozens of dating websites. They’re all pretty much the same. They ask a few questions and you’re done in about 15 minutes. Pretty easy.

eHarmony’s profile questionnaire has hundreds of questions (really)! At first, it’s overwhelming. But, when you think about it, this is the reason they have more members getting married to each other than any other dating website (90 members get married every day). eHarmony asks questions about your character, emotional profile, personality, values and other things. It’s exhaustive. But, it works.

Searching through eHarmony is also unique. They basically find matches for you rather than your having to search through the profiles of millions of other singles. If you want to communicate with other members, you can do it through a “Fast Track” system (which basically lets you email members) or a “Standard” option. The “Standard” option manages the communication by using a bunch of multiple choice questions. Each member answers the questions and if there’s a compatibility match, you get to communicate openly with each other.

My Personal Opinion

When I joined eHarmony, my first impression was “this is odd.” Everything is different than what I’m used to. Searching is gone. Communication is managed. The profile questionaire is… tiring. But, now I’m a believer. If you just want to be in the meat market, circulating with a bunch of other singles, eHarmony may not be the right fit. But, if you want to actually meet someone and have a chance of things working out long-term, this site seems perfectly-designed for it.

Membership Levels

You can join eHarmony for 1, 3, 6, or 12 months. If you want to go month-by-month, a membership will cost you $59.95. Otherwise, the 3-month plan costs $110.85, a 6-month membership costs $173.70 and the big 12-month plan runs $251.40 (it’s billed every 4 months). Each level offers the same features; the only difference is the price. The longer you commit, the less you’ll pay on a monthly basis.

Love, Romance And More On eHarmony

It’s hard to argue with eHarmony’s numbers. 90 members getting married each day is impressive. So, their methodology speaks for itself. That said, it’s not for everyone. If you just want to meet a bunch of singles for casual encounters, there are other sites for that.

But, If your goal is to get married and start a family someday (and you want to meet your partner now), you should probably consider using eHarmony. It takes a little getting used to (especially if you’re a member of other popular dating sites), but their system is designed to match people for long-term success. It certainly seems like they’re doing something right.

When I was thinking about how to rate eHarmony, I had to think about the stuff that seemed odd to me. After thinking about it…

I’m giving it a rating of:

(4.5 out of 5 stars)