OG DUDE 13

Another Los Angeles Lesson: GERM ALERT! Beware of Shopping Carts!

2012-01-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Next time you go to the supermarket, you may want to wear some gloves and place protective gear on your kids. At the very least, bring some wipes to clean the shopping cart handles. Turns out that those shopping carts are full of feces, germs, and bacteria. Some researchers swabbed shopping cart handles in numerous stores. Out of the 100 carts examined, 72 of them had fecal matter. A closer look at those samples containing fecal matter also revealed that 50 percent of them were contaminated with E. coli. What is wrong with people?!?!?! Don't they wash their hands?!

They found more bacteria in these shopping carts than what they find in the restroom of the supermarket. At least we know that the restrooms are cleaned properly, but don't bother with those carts! UGH!!!

Don't be surprised if some high-end market like Gelson's, opens up an area where you can push a cart through a wash prior to your use of it. Hey, that's not a bad concept.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down!

Las Vegas Lesson: Open Container in Las Vegas

2012-01-13T20:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long wait in between writings, but life has had me busy. I actually had time to go to Las Vegas over the weekend and other than the crowd, it was a good time. I was pleasantly surprised to see all those folks with open containers of alcohol walking down the streets. These people were walking with no particular place to go. Just like a herd of cattle. Hell, I stopped by the liquor store across from Caesar's Palace and bought an 18-pack and started the same routine like the rest of those happy drunks. I was enjoying the scenery and the drinks while participating in some exercise. This sure was a lot cheaper and more gratifying than spending booboo bucks at the casinos. After all that walking, I got an appetite and went to Treasure Island for some serious buffet eating action. Man, what a feast for $12.99!

I had so much just eating, drinking, and observing the lost herd of the crowd. I can do this scene without effort. Who needs to gamble when you can eat and drink?
When you go to Las Vegas, Stay Down!

El Lay Lesson: They WILL Call You Back!

2011-08-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

The OGDUDE13 wants you to know that when you call an 800, 855, 866, 877, 888, or 900 telephone number: your telephone number could be disclosed to the party your calling and could be recorded in a database that is sold to telemarketers. The OGDUDE13 is letting you know that some numbers listed with 800 and 900 are now using Automatic Number Identification (ANI).

When you dial their number, ANI equipment automatically adds your phone number to their database and they are not required to tell you if they have ANI equipment. Companies with ANI can then use your phone number to get your address and income level.

Never assume that an 800 or 900 number is a toll free call! You may reach a recording that advises you about a return collect call. You may also be told to call a 900 number; in either case, the call will be billed to you.

Maybe it is a good idea to use somebody else's phone. Not a bad idea!
Until the next lesson, Stay Down!

El Lay Lesson: Trash Collection Day

2011-08-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you folks, but I have noticed an increase in "trash can swampers." These people are into your trash within minutes of being placed in the curb. They are out these in droves trying to get the best scraps they can get. This economy has made good people go the extra mile and have become self-employed "Pickers." I don't mind it if they look, get what they want and leave without making a mess. The "messy ones" that take your trash out of the bins and place it on the ground and rummage through the trash bags that are nerve-wracking. These messy ones tear the bags up and leave what they don't want on the ground.

That just irks me! These people have the nerve of looking towards the front of your house and look at you like you are the dumb one for throwing away all these bottles and cans. Hey! I am not the one looking through trash!

Until the next lesson Stay Down!

El Lay Lesson: Damn Politicos! ~GET REAL~

2011-06-10T23:49:00.000-07:00

What is it with these politicians that always get caught in a compromised position. One week they say "No they didn't!" and the next week they admit to doing it. They always have excuses when they screw shit up and then are apologetic and hope their constituents believe their lies. Just think: "We as taxpayers are paying these nimrods money to say lies and ordinary folks who are trying to get by are not getting a cent where they live." Another trait these damn politicos have is that they also make those stupid faces as if we are supposed to feel sorry for them. Then after, they start to cry with the notion that they can be forgiven for their actions. Anybody else would be flogged and sent to jail.

I should run for public office because I can do better than them. Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down!

"El Lay" Lesson: Envision Your Goal

2011-06-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

We at "El Lay Lesson" have been busy these last few months. Sorry! Here we go with another titillating article.

A good measure in accomplishing your goals is the 6 C's method. Any plan you have can be attained by being committed, clear, concise, compelling, consistent, and cunning. These six characteristics will be crucial to any project that you plan to accomplish (like a blog... hmmmm). Your goal can be seen and felt with this visionary plan. In these current tough times any self-discipline is crucial. Any advantage you can bring to the game is good. As the OGDUDE13 can tell you "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Until the next blog - Stay Down!

"El Lay" Touchy Feely Day

2011-02-09T22:32:00.001-08:00

Holding a hot cup of coffee or a freezing bowl of ice cream can affect how you interact with people, our sense of touch impacts our relationships. We form impressions based not just on what people say and wear, but on tactile messages. Holding that warm cup of coffee and you are more likely to review others as caring and generous. If you sit in a comfortable chair you are more likely to be more open to compromise. Sit in a hard, uncomfortable seat will make you less affable and caring. Physical contact and touching is as important as sight and hearing. Giving them some flowers will make things better.

With Valentine's Day coming up, your significant other will be expecting a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate. This will be the perfect day on being a "touchy feely" guy. I don't know what it is about this day that gets them in a sensitive mood. You can give your partner grief all year long, but you better not do it on this overly dramatized day.

Hell, give them some flowers and be done with it.
Until the next lesson, Stay down!

"El Lay" Lesson: Reasons to Stay Ready for a New Job

2011-02-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

As we all know in this tight job market, we are happy when we have a gainful employer. But sometimes you are ready to leave just to keep your peace of mind. Not all money is "good" money.

Below are the main reasons people are ready to get out of "Dodge."

Money

Other employees may pay you more for the same work you are doing now.

Knowledge

One way to increase your income is by learning what other employers will pay you for your experience. It is always frustrating when you know more than the boss.

Administration

The supervisor you love working with may be actively pursuing a job with another employer. This will eventually leave you stuck with his bumbling and idiotic replacement.

Location

Your employer may be leaving his/her present "digs" for better office space in the suburbs. Your employer's new location could possibly add unwanted hours to your daily commute.

The Economy

You may never know when unforeseen financial events could cause your company to make dramatic cuts in assets such as personnel.

Co-Workers

If you have trouble tolerating your complaining, whining, lazy, or backstabbing fellow employees, you may reach the breaking point sooner than later.

Personal Life

It is time to stop working those 40- to 60-hour work weeks, especially if you are planning on getting married or having a child.

Your Health

Whether it is a doctor's orders or a personal decision to cut out the source of your stress or heartburn on the ride home, a new job can improve your well being.

Insurance

Most companies continue to raise insurance contributions. At some point, you may need to work elsewhere in order to get better coverage.

Retirement

Even young employees should pay attention to how their employers are preparing them for retirement. If the "ghetto" plan doesn't benefit you, it may be time to pack up the cubicle and find a real job.

Hope your new job fits you well!
Until the next, lesson Stay Down!

Los Angeles Lesson: Being Rude in "El Lay"

2011-01-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

What is it about people here in "El Lay" that makes them obnoxious and narcissistic. As you already know, the folks in this self-indulged city have been voted as being the rudest people in the USA. This is no surprise if you reside here. Everybody here knows somebody that is preoccupied with their physical appearance. These people will go to extremes to ignore anybody that is not like them. They are so totally into their looks that they will not interact with the regular folks. These nimrods communicate via texting and cell phone. They never look you in the face or shake your hand. With over three million of these types within the city limits.

They look surprised when somebody actually wants to talk to them. When you have an "out of towner" or "tourist" ask them a question or ask for directions, they will either get a shrug or a blank stare. No wonder we hear nothing but trash about the local natives. They have no class.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.

L.A. Lesson Special Edition: The Pachuca Lifestyle

2011-01-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Written by "Ebony Eyes"

The pachuca way of life is a very special lifestyle that can only be experienced in Los Angeles. It is a lifestyle that a pachuca experiences around her environment. This experience involves being around others who live and dress in the pachuca way, especially family, friends, and associates. Listening to the oldies and seeing, hearing, and admiring the old cars inspired me to be pachuca and to make a club for pachucas that includes everything that makes being a pachuca so great: the old cars and oldies.

I call it the "Pachuca Car Club" and it's all about being around classy women that are into old cars and hearing the good old tunes. The Pachuca Car Club started out as one part of the Pachuco Car Club, which accepts women into it and acts and feels much like the Pachuca Car Club does today but was too macho to be a real part of the Pachuca lifestyle, and ended up being a hindrance. So the Pachucas started their own thing because they liked the environment and because the Pachuco's way wasn't the right way and none of the other Chicano Car Clubs did it right either. I did this for me and other women who wanted to have a good time with the old cars and the oldies AND to do it their way.

Other members of the Pachucos left when they realized that they do not have to deal with the drama that the Pachucos had. I realized that this was my chance to recruit them to start a car club and help make the Pachucas well known. I set the club up to show that women can start and run a car club and have other hobbies too. I am very understanding and that's why I decided to let the other members keep and enjoy their hobbies and we would push each other to share each other's hobbies. We are all about expressing our ourselves and showing our pride of being Chicanas and spreading the Pachuca culture. We are the Pachuca Car Club and we are all about the old cars, the oldies, love, respect, unity, pachucos, and pachucas.

Thanks for inviting me for a guest blog OGDUDE. In order to become a part of this club, you got to Stay Down!

El Lay Lesson: Making Friends At Your New Job

2011-01-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

In order to make friends at your new employment, you must be friendly and not "stuck-up." You should seek out other "newbooties" at your work site. This way, you will discover that you are not alone. You will be able to share the "ups and downs" at your new job. Refrain from gossip, this will give you some integrity and this is important.

Being humble and approachable is always a positive. If you are viewed as arrogant and whiny your reputation will be difficult to overcome. As OGDUDE13 notes: "Be nice to people on your way up, because you might meet them on the way down."

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.

Los Angeles Lesson 2011: How You Will Never Work Again

2011-01-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

Being unemployed is bad enough, but these following methods are surefire ways to stay unemployed and get on the fast-track to being a lifelong bum!

* Talk too much!
Want to become a pariah at work? Just spread harmful information about other employees to your bosses, especially those unfounded rumors.

* Deception
You will always get on your boss's bad side by lying about how good you are at work. Your work performance will give you away.

* Sarcasm
Those sarcastic comments might work well at bars, but they will come back to haunt you if they are directed at your employers and coworkers.

* Laziness
Failing to take care of business will always come back to bite you in the ass. Procrastination and laziness may seem like a victimless habit to you, but it speaks to others about your reliability and organizational skills.

* Punctuality
Despite constant reminders about arriving to work on time, it is still amazing how you continue to show up late. At some point, those who count on you to be on time will get fed up with you and cut you loose.

Remember this: the first time you are late for something important, you can kiss your employment goodbye.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down!

"El Lay" Lesson: Try Something New

2010-12-29T22:13:00.000-08:00

Many of us face an uncertain future in these trying times, but, in these times, it is a good time to try something new. You have to stretch the boundaries of your comfort zone. Most successful transitions involve a trial and error process. Having the courage to try is a success. As the OGDUDE13 states: "Is it better to try and fail or to fail to try." You decide. You can beat defeat by considering my advice.

1. Isolate The Incident. View the incident as a learning opportunity.

2. Channel Positive Experiences. What can you use from this to create success.

3. Adjust Your Sights. To increase your odds of success, break the effort into parts you can do.

Don't forget the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Until the next lesson. Stay Down!

"El Lay" Lesson: Teamwork

2010-12-29T21:16:00.001-08:00

Teamwork can be difficult to measure. Here are some questions to consider when you are evaluating how well your group functions as a team. The more OGDUDE13 acknowledges this the more effective your team will be.

-Are you aware of complaints and gripes among team members about each other?

-Do you hear compliments between team members?

-Do team members regularly eat lunch together or interact socially outside of the workplace?

-Do you often find yourself trying to cover for one team member who is absent or swamped with work?

-Do staff members know what tasks their teammates can handle?

-Are teammates asking you to help them with things they could have handled among themselves?

My take on this is that you have to sit down with all of them and lay down the law. The way the economy is, they have no choice but to work with each other. If they want to keep their job, they would have to do this.

Let them know that unemployment is NOT a good thing. You will see an immediate turnaround.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.

"El Lay" Lesson Holiday Edition: Home for the Holidays

2010-12-16T18:50:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season is already here, and with this comes the annual trek of far flying relatives. This is an absolutely necessary tradition that has occurred for centuries. These relatives always arrive via greyhound bus or airplane. They expect you to pick them up at the bus depot or aiport and you have to be on time or they will be very critical of you. You will be expected to wine and dine them. Your home will be at their disposal and you may want to get upset at them when they become unbearable.

Hell, after the first night, they have already worn out their welcome. They never offer to pay for any of the amenities you are providing them with and you can bet they will be expecting you to pay for their admission to Disneyland and other fine establishments. The funny part about all this is that when you visit them, they never treat you this good. They don’t have all the fine establishments there like we have in “El Lay“. There is nothing to do there, so you will leave within a couple of days. Where as when they visit, they want to stay at least a week and make sure that by the time they leave, you are nice and miserable. But hey, isn’t this what the holidays are all about? Spending time with the members of your family that you wouldn’t otherwise see until someone bit the big one.

Untill the next lesson “Stay Down”
and MERRY X-MAS

Family Fun From: OG DUDE

"El Lay" Holiday Lesson: Holiday Parties and Cheer

2010-12-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

During these times of gift giving and mirth making most folks don’t have time to really enjoy the moment. These individuals feel they have to provide the best possible Holiday season party that they stress themselves out completely. This is totally ludicrous! All you have to do is slow down and enjoy the festivities, instead of making them. There are plenty of Christmas parties starting with the Thanksgiving Holiday all the way up to New Year’s Day. You need to attend as many of these as possible and enjoy this once a year spirit that surrounds us. If you prepared the Christmas party the previous year, don’t try and outdo yourself this year, just have somebody else throw the damn party.

Work on getting invited to as many parties as possible. Believe me, you will feel better about Christmas. Trying to make the perfect Christmas costs way too much and will never ever go as planned. Avoid the unhappy critics that will always be there and get sauced up at a friends party. Let them be miserable somewhere else for a change while you party across town. Remember this year your attending the party not planning one. Once you’ve enjoyed being on the guest list at the party train you will wonder why you’d never thought of this sooner. Take the OG DUDE’S advice and pour yourself a tasty “Sancho Claus” while planning what party to go to rather then what napkins to put out.

Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Author: OG DUDE

Los Angeles Holiday Lesson: Sancho Claus

2010-12-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

The Holiday season is upon us and with this festive atmosphere comes heavy eating and even heavier drinking. You will undoubtedly be offered many types of Christmas foods and numerous spirits to wash them down with.

Everybody is filled with feelings of glee and positive moods because as you and I both know, Sancho Claus is coming to town! With this in mind the OG DUDE is prescribing the perfect drink for this holiday season. Just as “The Brown Mexican” became a fan favorite party drink, this new one, Sancho Claus, will become an instant Christmas classic.

But be careful, the Sancho Claus is another one of the OG DUDE’S drinks that will settle easy and relax you quick. It’s a “creeper” and will definitely put you in one hell of a festive spirit!

Ingredients:
3 oz. Eggnog
3 oz. Peppermint schnapps
3 oz. Whiskey

You can either blend this drink or stir it well and serve it on the rocks in a 10 to 12 oz. highball glass. After all the excitement of making the drink go ahead and enjoy this Holiday concoction with friends and family alike. What can I tell you but to drink safe, be thankful for Sancho Claus and to have a Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas.
Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”
Mix Master and Author: OG DUDE

(Remember always measure to taste, sometimes the OG DUDE’S drinks can be a bit strong.)

"El Lay" Lesson: Holiday Spending

2010-12-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

The Holidays are here. It’s time to start getting ready for the busy days of shopping and celebration. It’s easy to get carried away by the Holiday spirit. But with higher prices putting an extra strain on your budget it’s more important then ever to plan your holiday spending more wisely. Being a smart shopper will help you avoid a “Holiday Hangover” in January from extensive debt. Let the OG DUDE provide you with some tips in making the most of the dollars you spend this Christmas Season.

1) Make a List and Check It Twice: Making a gift list and a budget will help you avoid impulse spending.

2) Trim your Budget: Consider what is important to you. This way you can cut back unnecessary gift giving.

3) Sale Shopping: Due to a weak economy this year retailers will be promoting price cuts on inventory.

4) Choose Gifts With Value: Money is always a good value gift.

5) Resist Temptation: Do not open any store credit cards. You will pay later!

6) Recycling: Similar to what I do. Give away gifts that you received in the past that never got opened or can be sealed up real neatly. It is a good way of getting rid of junk.

As previously noted in an earlier lesson, the Christmas Season is a prime time for identity thieves. Make sure your credit card never leaves your sight and keep all receipts in your pocket, not in a shopping bag. The Christmas Season is a special time so be sure to enjoy it all month long. Be nice, be merry and don’t be dazzled by the twinkling lights.

Until the next lesson, “Stay Down.”

"El Lay" Lesson: Rainy Days in Los Angeles

2010-10-18T22:23:00.001-07:00

This past week it has been raining cows and bulls. Unfortunately, for the people in Los Angeles, rain causes havoc. The freeways get flooded, the fire infested areas get mudslides and all those silly people who think it is summer time get their homes and vehicles drenched because they left their windows open. The motorists continue to drive at 85 miles per hour on the rain slicked highways and, before you know it, a traffic nightmare has begun because some idiots forgot that they can slip and slide while driving at excessive speed.

On the other side of the spectrum, you have those folks that melt in the rain. These are the same fools that are telling everyone that the Los Angeles area needs some rain to help with the drought, but when it rains these same fools start to complain about the rain. They say things such as: "Why does it have to rain on the day of my party?!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!" or "Stupid rain, my hair's messed up now!"

As usual, Angelenos want to have it both ways. They want rain, but they do not want to get wet (the rain will probably evaporate before it hits the ground in most cases anyway). What an oxymoron their attitude on rain is! People here in "El Lay" do not like the rain, nor do they like the "cold weather." How preposterous this is! One thing is certain, Angelenos can always bet that as soon as they wash their cars, they can be assured it will rain within two days.

Until the next lesson: Stay Down!

GameChat 101: Why Are There Consoles Again?

2010-10-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

If you watch SpikeTV or ESPN, you might see a commercial about video games in between all the Viagra and natural male enhancement ads. Later, as you go through a department store you might pass by the video games section and see that there are multiple machines available for video games, as well as other “legal” activities. All of these machines look very different from one another but they have one thing in common: They play video games.
Skating and fighting games have always been major sales pushers and with the Ultimate Fighting Championship entering the sales fray I think it’s fair time to discuss why you, the consumer, should even think about buying any of these products. Don’t worry because we got you covered.

First, let’s talk about the most popular video game machine ever, the personal computer. I know what you’re thinking, “If they make videogames for computers, why are there machines created specifically for videogames?” Well, it turns out that to build up a PC to compete with today’s consoles it would cost at least $500. Yes, PC gaming is very expensive and unless you make big bucks, is reserved only for the elite gamers. I am not one. I can say though that old school PC games are the only games that a standard computer can support. Also, some games have spyware installed and that isn’t what anyone wants. Why use a PC for games then you say? If you have a standard computer play with the PC versions of last generations consoles games. There is a plethora of games to choose from all going for around $20, which is cheap in gamer land. However, if you have Windows Vista then the games might not work. If you have a MAC, good luck, most games only support Windows XP or Vista, but are guaranteed to work.
Final Word: PC games are to be played at the buyer’s risk.

GameChat 101: Gaming on Handhelds

2010-10-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

Hey readers! Rodog is here to talk smack about handheld video game players. There are four handheld game machines out now and the Rodog will be breaking them down as follows:
First, let’s talk about the most popular handheld gaming device out now, The Cellular Phone, or the cell phone. Cell phones have always been good gaming devices and they keep getting better. Today’s cell phones (standard, not high end) can play games from the NES and the Sega Genesis. They even make controller shaped attachments for some of the cell phone models. Cell phones, if you already own one, are an excellent choice to play games on.
Now let’s talk about another popular gaming device, the IPOD. The IPOD has some games on it but the controls are hard to deal with. Don’t buy an iPOD to play games with because it’s really not worth it.

The mainstream gaming devices are next and we will be starting with the PSP. The PSP is not known for it’s games but is actually more well known for it’s piracy ability. I don’t know how it works, but I can assume that anything that can be pirated through the internet can be pirated to the PSP. Of course, it would all be virus free and completely illegal. You can also surf the internet wherever WI-FI is available. The PSP is not good for first person, “through the eyes of the character” gaming because it lacks the essential, but missing right analog stick. Other games work well like fighting games or skating games, but, as I mentioned before, the PSP is known for it’s piracy, not great games.
Last but not least is the Nintendo DS, a hand-held that is known for it’s great games. The system has two screens, a regular top screen and a touch bottom screen. The DS supports wireless multi-player mode for up to four players. It does not have the internet but you can purchase optional internet online for $30. Some games have free online play, and yes, they’re all good! The DS is $130 and worth it.
That ends my coverage on handheld gaming devices. Next week I’ll cover the Big Three: Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony’s game consoles. It will be an article breaking the ice on many of the differences found amongst the Big Three.

"El Lay" Lesson: Tips on Personal Safety

2010-10-09T21:59:00.000-07:00

In view of the contemporary social and economic conditions, the following prescribed tips from OG DUDE 13 may prevent you from becoming a victim. "El Lay" is a big megalopolis and your safety should always be on the alert. You have to be fight ready at all times. You will enhance your outdoor activities with the following instructions:

When walking be aware of the following:

1) Know your surroundings and environment at all times. Be extra vigilant at night.
2) Walk in well lighted areas.
3) Avoid walking or taking shortcuts through alleys.
4) Stay away from remote and secluded areas and stay away from bushes.
5) Develop a buddy system of walking with someone or with a group, especially at night.
6) If you are carrying a purse, hold it close to your body. Do not let it dangle.
7) Do not accept rides with strangers.
8) If a driver stops to ask you for directions, avoid getting too close to the car.
9) Change directions and vary your pace if you think you are being followed, go to a well lighted area or building when this occurs.
10) If you are being followed by someone in an automobile, get the license plate number and report it to the local law enforcement agency.

When driving be aware of the following:

1) Always lock your doors when driving and after parking.
2) Keep windows rolled up while driving.
3) When possible, always keep your gas tank filled.
4) Park in well lighted areas.
5) Be prepared with your keys in your hand when you return to your car.
6) Do not fumble for your keys while in your purse or pockets.
7) When you return to your car, make sure no one is hiding in your car.

8) Always lock your valuables and purse in the trunk of your car.
9) If you are being followed, do not drive home or attempt to leave your car. Drive to the nearest police station or open business for assistance.
10) Do not leave your keys in the car.
11) Separate your house keys from the car keys when you park at a valet service.
12) If you have mechanical problems with your car remain inside your locked car until help arrives.

13) If you are in trouble, honk your horn in order to get help.
14) NEVER pick up hitch hikers.

Also:

Remember to stay calm and don't get embarrassed/nervous if you have to call 911. If you have to make a police report, DON'T delay. This is your safety here that we are talking about.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down!

"El Lay" Lesson - Do your Freaking Job!

2010-10-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

In this day of age when everybody is getting laid off, you need to have a game plan in order to keep your job.

One way to get out the boss's pink slip notice list is to avoid annoying him.

Right now, your favorite blog spotter OG DUDE 13, will provide you with some good tips on how to stay off your boss's bad side.

Tip #1: After asking your boss what his priorities are, feedback your understanding of them. Doing anything less is asking for a grave misunderstanding and an annoyed boss. Thinking like a supervisor and anticipating his/her next move not only helps your department run smoother it will get you noticed for a good deed. any positive comments are always good.

Tip #2: It is always good to know your boss's behavior profile. You should find out on day 1 of work if your boss likes you to get right to the point or if he wants details. Knowing the answer will help keep the communication open and will keep you on the same page as the boss.

Tip #3: Studying your boss and being observant on what his needs and wants are. If you can become a resource that adds strength to his office, you will never be an annoying pest.

Tip #4: If the other workers are coming to you for clarification, you are a definite asset to the boss.

If you are able to keep your job, do not thank me, but thank yourself for paying attention.

Until the next lesson, "Stay Down."

"EL LAY" Lesson: Crohn's Disease in the Workplace

2010-08-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

One of the most frustrating and hazardous aspects of employment is the staff restroom. Don't you just hate it, that when you unavoidably have to "go." There is already someone there having a "stress shit." This person apparently doesn't care about you because he is blowing it up all over the place with his menacing fumes. That makes me want to get a gas mask for everytime I go in there. You can either tough it out and handle your business or you can just walk away. I know of one work location restroom that all employees need to avoid at 3:00 P.M This individual is always there at that time like clockwork. You can set your watch to it. This individual has definite work related stress issues. He sure takes all of it out on the poor, helpless latrine.

It is so bad that no one dares to trek there at 3:00 P.M. It's just terrible. Of course, nobody is willing to "cop" to all this "blow-torch" activity. One other employee pointed out that it has a high probability to be Crohn's Disease. This is when a person has an "internal swelling process" that produces excess water and salt during times of stress. When this happens, the body tries to expel the extra fluid and the person experiences diarrhea. This person obviously needs another job, because his current one is causing discomfort (not only to himself but) to others with his/her disorder.

People do not typically understand or want to care about someone with Crohn's Disease. Most people believe that mental instability is the inherent cause of this madly excessive bowel movement and gas withdrawal. These sudden and predictable urges to use the restroom is an unequivocal mental distress. Hell, if the job is causing you all these issues, just quit. Everyone will be appeased and will not miss the obnoxious fumes. There would be no more instances of "stress shitting" and no more profuse spraying of air fresheners.

Until the next lesson, Stay Down.

-OGDUDE13

"El Lay" Lesson: Grocery Shopping

2010-08-19T22:16:00.001-07:00

Don't you ever notice how different stores cater to different clientele? The "Food4Less" and "Vallarta" type stores always seem to attract a rough looking crowd. You have to leave them alone because you don't know how they are going to react when they can't find what they want. When you go to a "Von's" or a "Ralph's" type store, you can bet that they will ask where they can find an item, without getting upset. They are definitely, a softer crowd, for sure.

I don't know what it is, but the higher the price, the better the crowd. The low price stores always seem to get the trailer-park crowd. I wonder why? Always remember that here in El Lay that you have to dress and shop accordingly. If you don't look the part of a certain type of store, you can bet that you will get grief from the staff and customers, so stick to the low end stores (Dollar Tree, 99cents, etc.). This way you don't have to dress to impress.

OGDUDE13 is calling you out!
Until the next article, Stay Down, Homies!