Wanna see my beautiful belly button?

2015-05-10T23:01:00.002+01:00

Quick check-in to say I'm still alive. Just.

Changed of tickets last minute for Turkey so had two days to explore.The men are something else, particularly Omer but when I then said Scottish instead of Danish all I got was "you drink a lot!". Hmn.

I do have reasons to drink a lot and consumption has gone up. Considerably. Had a meeting with the profs but didn't really get to have a say so quietly turned my notes back to front as they obviously didn't want to hear. This was after I had a go at the prof and said I'm looking for a job (there are no jobs so they won't actually worry). They don't get that it isn't a pure matter of workload (it is but if they tried to be organised and consider my time it would indeed help!). Anyway, was going to write my notes here for eternity.

TIM is away and I do miss him. Did get lots done today though (house cleaning! He is lucky it was raining most of the day) and did 113 km/70 miles yesterday. Did a good long "sprint" on the way back and can still feel my legs. My recovery still leaves a lot to be desired. Back to TIM - I've had the 'shut up, put up and do as you're told" speech but when I bulked at that he seems to have changed his mind and I know feel we are seriously serious...*gulp*. Trip to DK in the offing!

Mum...*guilty conscience*

Still dithering about a new bike, sigh. Back to carbon (and scram apex!).

Better get to bed!

2015-03-30T21:03:00.001+01:00

I've been stricken down by the flu again. Exact same thing as at Christmas and no less horrific :( My only consolation is that I'm not the only one to catch it twice, however, I am beginning to wonder how come I'm catching everything and anything that is going. Had to fill in another absence form for work (went back to work after the boss emailed saying how she just gets on with it - mind she has it worse than me and is now starting week 5) and noticed that I've been off quite regularly over the last year - nothing to do with changing jobs then. Is it really my lack of sleep? Probably. I'm getting fed up as I always fall ill just when I've started back exercising! I need to break this circle.

Thought it would be fitting to get myself a new bike and a bit more pronto now that they're doing the bike to work thing again. However, once I dutifully pay off each month for a year I then have a choice - pay 7% of the value of the bike and uni continues to own it for another three years or pay 25% of the bikes retail value and own it outright. However, this is kind of a way of forcing you to stay at uni! I am not too sure I will stay and if I have to pay the 25% after a year then I don't save anything on the bike - better to get it in the sale...which I might just do. I have my eye on a cyclocross (totally HONEY) but there aren't many female specific ones and I must say that we get screwed - one bike I fancy is the Giant Liv Invite 1 2015 Ladies Cyclocross bike. Apart of all the pinkness (WHY???) I tried on the model below (medium) and it was fab - mind the drop bars will take some getting used to. The specs are otherwise OK as the chainset is like the KOGA with 105 which is exactly what I want to build on after the hybrid. The mechanical disc brakes are also great. The only competitor is the Whyte Devon which has the new blend of hydraulic and mechanical disc brakes (I coveted so much!) but you still get the shite sora chainset in spite of it costing £999 (OK, also get a carbon fork)! What is that about? Anyway, have missed the sale in the local shop now so back to the drawing board or sizing issue - the guidance claims I need a small while I was quite happy on the medium. Therein lies the issue. Don't wanna buy a bike without trying it.

Although folk have been leaving right left and centre and not been replaced an email came out saying we need to lose 150 staff. The phrasing is just diabolical - voluntary severance initially for folk who

"-Academic staff who either no longer feel able or no longer wish to contribute to the University’s stated aims and objectives of being an internationally distinguished, research-led institution where the delivery of an outstanding student experience is at the heart of everything we do; and
-Professional and support staff within academic and administrative areas."

What about staff who don't want to put up with all the crap they seemingly have to in order to just do a descent job? Now is the time to be pleased to be contract - they are not trying to get rid of me. Yet. Unfortunately, there is always folk who miss out with these things and obvious don't make it easy for everyone either. Suppose that is nothing new. Whatever, I'll most likely never be core and am perhaps beginning to like it that way although once the prof retires nobody will really care. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

At least I'm going home on Thursday - just in time for dad's birthday celebrations :)

2015-03-16T22:00:00.001+00:00

January is but a distant memory and the trauma has just about settled but I'll happily remind you of my punishing itinerary:
-Invited talk (face-to-face)
-invited webinar
-two work deadlines
-promotion application
-recovery from another (3rd?) cold/flu thing
and the clencher - looking for and moving house (including cleaning the bungalow and selling furniture, sniff)!

I'm just about recovered and starting to have more of a routine again. Although with The Important Man around this is somewhat trying. Not least because I find myself picking up stuff after him but mainly wiping up after him. Ahem. Seriously, water EVERYWHERE! I'm rather grateful this isn't my house and I'm already seriously worried about getting my deposit back from this place :( I now understand why he didn't get all of his back from the last place while I got all of mine (the place was spotless although the garden had moss and obviously I knew where I left a few marks on the place but can't have been enough).

Living together is odd though. He keeps turning up here. We are balancing on the edge of being more flat mates than a couple but I'm still very pleased that I said I wanted my own bedroom. Seems to surprise some folk but we're progressive. Think The Important Man is pleased too. Regular hugs and kisses is pretty cool though :) Twice he has managed to knock on my door after I've gone to bed just to come in a give me kisses, sigh, lovely. I am findings myself in a perpetual circle of lack of sleep, goodness. Think I'm getting used to it though. Roomie made me used to sleep around 22.30 while The Important Man keeps me awake until 23! I just want to sleep.

Moving in obviously didn't go completely painlessly as the boiler broke down two weeks after we moved in. Not great under any circumstances but a particularly pain in the derriere as the boiler is in the loft here. It was fixed but not fixed (at least i lasted over the weekend) and then finally the leak (!) was sorted. So far so good. Dealing with the estate agents was challenging to say the least as they didn't seem to understand the implications of having NO HEATING while it was freezing temperatures outside. The new place is cold anyway though. I don't even turn the heating up as it just seems a waste - the double glazing is older than either of the profs! Within the first week the two of us had a cold each. It hit TIM harder than usual and he still has a bit of a cough. I've declared war on the mould though. Yes, I know, it is amazing what can be rented out here and how much they can charge for it. The good points are that we are but a stones-throw from a supermarket and the man is happy with his 4 mile commute even though it is uphill home. This is a relief to me as I didn't mind the area while he wasn't overly happy about moving here. We have room for bikes and I'm even considering acquiring another one via the bike to work scheme (might consider whether the trade off between what is available through the scheme compared to what I actually want).

I've eased myself into exercising again. Started with kettlebells which unfortunately is on a Tuesday but having a break from spinning is probably not a bad thing although I feel the drop in my fitness! I then started back cycling with the club and did my first 100km/60 miles this weekend (first in rather cold conditions too). I seem to be getting special attention from the club secretary who is telling folk that I've lost my confidence. I haven't lost my confidence. I know my limits and really want to avoid falling ill again (so fed up!) or doing too much too soon. I'm rather pleased with my progress to date though (obviously I should really be addressing my eating habits as even my cycling clothes are tight now :()

Have woken up this morning with this years first itchy bites! Two no less. On my face though, really? I also turned 39 last week. The Important Man forgot. A few months ago he knew perfectly well when my birthday was so I didn't think I had to remind him. I'm not upset, I'm really not bothered. Don't know why. He did fetch cake and a bottle of rum so can't really complain. Really. I still feel 38 though. I certainly didn't get the full wear of 38. At all.

Mum is a bit of a worry. Bro told me that she had fallen down the stairs at home. Although dad was home it took some time before he heard her as he had the radio on (he really does turn it up). Luckily she didn't need treatment but I don''t want her to fall and brake something as that will be the beginning of the end and that end is not what I want for her. This means she has fallen a fair few times now. I had really wanted an actual holiday with a bit of sun (which I haven't seen in like two years...) but I've booked tickets to go home for dad's birthday now. And sort mum out. Hopefully. She has turned into one of those slightly unreasonable old people. At least bro is also alert to the fact now as I had been wondering but from this distance what can I do - especially if I'm alone with my concern.

Work. Mental as ever although I've decided to ignore their timeline (which basically said that I wouldn't have a life for the next 9 months). The boss keeps telling me not to work late but still wants things done yesterday. Right. I'm working to contract now, in the prof own words I shouldn't 'get sucked in'. The uber prof disappeared for about three months (bliss but unnerving) only to reappear as soon as the prof went on a two week holiday. He really did try to push me to do things but unfortunately he wasn't successful. Shame. All he achieved was that I spent far too much time looking for another job...I don't really see the point of the third degrees anymore. Please do something to keep me sweet or as a minimum act and respect the skills and knowledge I have. Just a suggestion. The more pleasant prospect is that I'm getting confidants so I've used initiative to diverge my predicaments to folk I work with. Nothing sinister don't worry, just behind the scenes info. So they have the full picture and not just what the profs choose to divulge. I think I'm beginning to get on better with some of my international colleagues too. The worst though was that the profs have screwed up. Royally so. Had I made that mistake my neck would have been on the block and they would have cheerily chopped, chopped, chopped. This also means that I'm reluctant to spend long hours in the office as I'd be making up for their short comings which I really don't see why I should be spending my personal time doing - I'll be picking up the pieces anyway eventually, I'm sure. They also want to apply for another UK wide grant. Unfortunately this still means a break in my contract. Aye, I'm keeping my eyes firmly focused on those job adverts.

The mood among my colleagues is dire though. Even someone who is normally very cheerful and resilient has succumbed to the feeling of hopelessness and lack of proper support which has really upset me :( I know I have nae chance of getting a fellowship but when you see very talented folks' applications being turned down it is a rude awakening. Unfortunately, it hasn't dawned on our employer that good people don;t necessarily get funded and that is not anything against the applicants it is the state of the system. We're all scrambling for the same small pots of money. In the meantime folk are leaving and not getting replaced.

Sigh. Still got boxes to unpack and stuff to sell.

2015-01-24T14:14:00.001+00:00

I'm royally pissed off. Nothing new you might say. I sat until 23.00 on Thursday addressing the feedback I got from the prof on my promotion application and she was actually extremely helpful (I never had time to proofread it before submitting it...oh dear). I have had no emails from either head of department about how they wanted to be involved in something like that. Of course they haven't as they forgot about me. Prof contacted our Head (via phone!) and I sent him the bumf. He then proceeded to come to me in my office and tell me that I do not have enough publications. Actually, firstly he apologised for not sending an email round - he had forgotten about me because I work for the two profs(?). It isn't the first time he apologises for forgetting about me - he forgot about me when I first arrived (...). His advice was I should get a writing buddy to nag and nag in return. The prof will support so he didn't think to offer his support. Number of publications isn't a criteria for promotion as far as I can make out (but that doesn't mean it won't count). He, however, argued to prof that they will only promote folk that can be submitted to REF. Five years away. I told him I know I won't get it but it is a thing to do and thanked him for his very helpful advice.

He clearly doesn't give two hoots and having to take such "advice" from someone who isn't a prof, and doesn't even have a PhD is a bit much. He doesn't even bother to keep his current research assistant in a job. He clearly didn't read my application/CV - I'm a donkey. I work on other people's projects and can't just do with data as I like and mainly, when does he propose I should do this? Block off two hours a week apparently. I don't have two hours a week - I don't have five minutes!

He knows he is on a sinking ship and he is only interested in saving his own skin. Clearly. I didn't get properly upset until later and had tears burning in my eyes. Couldn't cry mind - probably too exhausted.

Right.

Prof wasn't well pleased. She knows this could affect my commitment. I assume. She did say I do a lot and it was definitely a grade up. Whether this is true or not I really don't know. Everyone have their own agendas and the mood at the moment doesn't seem to be to reward staff. I'm seriously pissed off as the supposedly transparent system isn't fair. My post is at least a grade above me - two other RFs get a grade above me and their studies, although challenging, are not more challenging than mine! WTF. I'm keeping an eye on jobs - easier to get promoted that way. Why would you want to reward your employees when you can kick them.

Left work just before 21.00 last night and it felt like I was leaving early - I could still make it to the coop before they closed at 22.00! I picked up a bottle of rum - working late totally makes you drink more.

There was another deadline for the project yesterday and the prof said she didn't want me to work late but obviously she wanted the deadline met - what exactly am I supposed to do?

The (Important) Man is now calling me a workaholic :( I miss him so much. At least I don't feel like I'm coming down with something anymore. We are still waiting for confirmation on the house - they are waiting for his work reference....

My invited talk is on Tuesday. I had to send on my slides yesterday. Got feedback from the old LM. Very helpful stuff such as - "for this point on slide such and such will you be explaining what it means?" and "the timeline confuses me running from bottom to top - do you think reversing it would help?". I think turning her screen upside down might help! The arrow on that slide goes up...I don't remember timelines with an arrow pointing down...ever. Maybe it is just me.The old CI was rather OTT in his support so maybe he does actually miss me (anything that give publicity I think is what he likes).

Got home and found the letter confirming my notice on the bungalow - couldn't open it.

2015-01-22T08:14:00.000+00:00

I gave notice on the bungalow yesterday. Sniff. The end of an era. Sniff. That was very stressful and I was basically shaking.Sniff.

The (Important) Man is already demanding payment in nature!!! I've told him it is on the house ;)

Aye, we got ourselves a three bedroom house in the area I was looking to buy. Fingers cross all goes through - I just need a landlord reference (the companies have to speak with each other as if I ask for it I will be charged nearly £25!!! At least my property manager warned me of this!). The prof wrote a very nice reference for me :)

2015-01-19T21:38:00.001+00:00

I'm beginning to think pigs might actually fly very soon - I let slip today to the prof that I'm doing the promotion malarkey and she said that I would of course get it (a few months ago I wouldn't have - not much has changed since!) and she felt bad that she hadn't discussed it with me. The pipe has certainly got a different sound suddenly [Danism]. Now I feel bad about my comment in an earlier post but the proof is in the pudding after all. She did offer to read it this week which is great! Applications go to head of section (not even department) and how should he know me from Eve? The head of section then writes a supporting statement (or not as the case may be I suspect). I would just really like my life back. And some more money in my bank account in return for the blood, sweat and tears (as you know) working there entails. And then after the promotion I won't be able to get another job because I'm too expensive. Well, that's the danger in my business. Maybe I'll just retire.

Today I did a little practice run of my first invited talk (!!!!) soon to be a webinar too. Little did I know that I was speaking to a handpicked few...oops. Did get an email from the x-LM apologising for her non-attendance but she wasn't actually invited! I've told my colleague who arranged it to blame me. Teflon shoulders me. Now I have changes to make and need to circulate it again. Did I mention that I have other stuff to do?

We finally have snow!!! Hence I trudged through the ice, sludge and snow this morning to view another flat. Knew it wouldn't be anything unless we're desperate and we are indeed desperate. It is unfortunate that this place is right next to a public park with probably the worst reputation in town AND a massive student population round the corner. Luckily The (Important) Man also viewed a house which I have been waiting for over a week for him to see and he was quite impressed so we are applying. Again. Might still fall through, bla bla bla. Should we be successful it might just convince him that the area isn't that bad and I can look for a house to buy there :) Although getting a mortage is another few years down the line for me as in less than three months I can't get one anymore - what is left of my contract is too short. Uber prof has said he'd write me a letter but I'm doubtful that that will do the trick in this day and age. I ought to investigate and will add it to my mental list of things to do which already spans several brains...

Cancelled on The (Important) Man on Thursday so I could write my promotion application. Spent Saturday evening with Voddy (*waves* a big thank you for a great night!) and Sunday I only saw him for a few hours as it was starting to snow (cycled home while it snowed - lovely) and I needed to get back for the flat viewing in the mornings and a bit more work on the promotion application. Seriously, I can't do it - I just can't think what I do that they want to know about. Why can't they show me examples and I can tick the things that I do?

So all in all a very eventful day except I haven't done any actual work (apart from a few emails) and I do not have time to be idle like this. Sigh.

2015-01-17T11:31:00.002+00:00

Think I'm fighting off could number FOUR since middle of October...why am I so hard on myself? Anyway, it is a glorious day, freezing, but sunny and I should be on my bike but instead am home getting ready to write this blasted promotion application. Need to refocus and get the message across. Working on it at holidays/weekends and evenings has made me slightly cross - if the bosses appreciate me so much (so they say - and the Christmas present was apparently well deserved) why do I not get support for at least an increment? Apparently that's not how we work. Bizarre.

I found some tips in one of my many cycling mags (online) for helping with colds so this time I'm using Vicks first defense (cheaper in Salisbury's than Boots btw) and I'm taking extra zinc with c-vitamin. Today I can't feel my throat but I also didn't open the window last night...ahem. It is frosty these days. I'm trying to get plenty of sleep but can't - I'm stressed as there is LOTS going on at work and the house hunting has so far proven unsuccessful and the man will be homeless in eh, ten days! One flat we said yes to was then given to someone else. Aye, shitty stuff but we're throwing money at it as even at £1100 a month you can't expect to have a window in the master bedroom (...) or get a place that has at least some insulation. This means I'll basically not be making any savings in sharing but finding somewhere to live with him would just be amazing now - especially a house. Some flats are so small it seems folk are expected just to exist and not have interests (i.e. gear). Overall the bikes are not a huge problem although a necessity for us that there is suitable storage that is at least fairly secure (I'm not convinced by communal storage facilities) this means we have to do a lot of viewings as these things are not considered standard to include in the flat descriptions...

A colleague has decided to retire. She is a few months younger than me. She is a lot more accomplished and successful than I but she also hits her head against the wall. Constantly. That's the fourth colleague that will be outright leaving academia in the last six months (obviously all women). I'm keeping an eye on jobs. Getting a job at a higher grade is obviously the way to get promoted but writing the application is kind of a rights of passage. Sigh.

2015-01-04T11:14:00.002+00:00

Some stats of my past year cycling - seems I've beat my bro in terms of distance (but I've counted commuting for only a few months too so it is a fair bit further...actually)!

Count - 170 activities
Distance - 3,731.35 km
Time - 214:44:12 h:m:s
Elevation gain - 30,240 m
Avg speed - 17.4 km/h
Calories - 110,070 c
Max elevation gain - 1419 m
Max distance - 189.48 km
Max speed - 56.7 km/h

I'm giving myself the Garmin Forerunner 15 for Christmas to get this fitness malarkey back on track!

2015-01-03T19:23:00.002+00:00

Happy New Year!

I've arrived in the new year although not in the usual style as we had some technical difficulties. Let's just hope that was not an omen on what is to come but a sign that things can only get better.

Indeed things did get better already. IS insisted we invite Voddie round for dinner - a kind of first footing! IS was running the show in the kitchen so much so I felt I wasn't allowed to pull my load...we nearly had a domestic when he accused me of being unable to let him have a free run of the kitchen! That is of course not something I want to be accused off...Then I just had to sit on my hands until Voddie came. He produced one wonderful course after the other - I didn't even know the menu! All I had to do was to entertain and catch up. This was our first dinner party and I doubt it will be the last - he just keeps surprising me (although he also takes his time) :)

In terms of being a couple it seems society also has expectations - on the New Year's Day ride which IS led I was suddenly designated sweeper because that is a common workload division between couples. Hmn. I didn't go to the pub as I didn't want to venture out on the icy roads and IS reported they were asking where I was! Gosh, all this pressure could get too much!

It is freezing again and I walked all the way home today as I just don't trust the drivers to drive according to the conditions and they didn't. I also didn't want to damage the bike! This means I won't join the club ride tomorrow - I don't have nerves for this anymore and think the risk isn't worth it. The road outside the house is literally an ice rink. I also have some catching up to do in terms of getting ready to move and writing this blasted promotion application, sigh. Spent my time in DK getting the CV up to speed...which I'd thought I already had! Haven't even started the actual application - it is painful.

2014-12-28T20:00:00.000+00:00

If you were to pick me up and give me a good shake I'd fully expect I'd rattle like a pair or maracas! I'm on my third cold running in about two months and have now spent most of my holiday indoors trying to beat this thing which won't budge, hmpf. At least my cough is chesty/loose so it might improve but as I've just read in a cycling mag - don't train if the cold is below the throat :(

Not training is is a travesty as the New Year is all about training - the aim is to do the 100 miler in a bit more style (and hopefully get rid of the kg that has been added....to another three kgs excess).

Have looked back and to my surprise noticed that I seem to have skipped the annual review in the last few years. I've also much to my regret remembered which day it is today and am fed up remembering - let's make the new year all about good memories that should be cherished more than the old and bad (although only good came from it)!

Dad nearly drove off the road when I told him that I'm moving in with IS. I didn't expect that to be news. Anyway, I still fully expect to proceed although it would really be much easier not to move. As much as I hate the flat inspections I also love the bungalow but I do hate moving. Mainly because we will be renting as I've missed out on two flats in my attempt at buying. There is a bit of a downturn in town now so house prices might fall (stall is more likely) in future but it rather depends on the USA/Russia stand off currently taking place - long may it last! Think both the thought of moving and house hunting has been stressing me out which might explain this ongoing cold saga I'm suffering. To move into rented accommodation I need to get rid of my furniture and this freaks me out, being time consuming and probably full of hassle. Apparently it isn't that simple to hook up with someone but at least he is on the hook ;)

Ended up on a longer Christmas break than anticipated which is very annoying as this is the time of year I might actually spend time with IS - he isn't off cycling mountains or in the lab. Anyway, we text/whatsapp until I noticed that I was ALWAYS initiating. Stopped myself and a two day radio silence ensued. So does he still like me? I'm probably the only person who puts up with his answer - why? Don't worry, I didn't let him off that easily. That is one thing I must say - he has never shown or expressed any doubts about us which is huge to me (the forever doubting character that I am). Living with a boyfriend is completely new to me so I'm not sure about what to expect other than hassle (and sex and hugs on demand!!!). On a night out in the pub he and the rest of the company for that matter expected that I'd get up and leave when he did. What is the point in that - we weren't even going to spend the night in the same place. I stayed as I didn't want to leave. Much to the surprise of the old geezers. They even changed seats at the club Christmas lunch so we could sit next to each other. I wasn't that bothered but it was nice!

Although mum did say that I could have dispensation and not come home (after I had booked my tickets - obviously) I didn't have a choice - had to come to pick up my new passport. As I get older I think my passport photo gets worse. Last time the hairdresser gave me a bob which I agreed to but I hated it as long as I had it (usually I eventually am bowled over) because I couldn't deal with the straight line of my hair and now it has been immortalized in my passport. Typical. My staff photos show the same trend. Hey ho.

2014-10-19T22:25:00.001+01:00

Such hilarity but I've decided I'm now recovered after this full on cold which pretty much got hold in my lungs from the word go (seriously, I think there is something wrong with my lungs but the GP won't listen - presume I can't get an x-ray without GP's stamps of approval?). I still can't hear properly and still cough (but at least not until gagging anymore) but I'm fed up.

So in spite of a glorious Indian summer (well 15 degrees in October up here is something!) I haven't been cycling. Very unsatisfactory.

However, I have been shopping!

Cycling to work is great but I'm finding it difficult to be cycle chic. I'm currently constantly in a water proof from Vaude which unfortunately isn't breathable at all which means a nice moist feeling all over when it is removed. Although it is berry coloured (my favourite) there is no reflective features so I tend to wear a high viz west on top which off the bike is...embarrassing (still effective during dusk). As winter is coming (and I've put on weight so won't be able to fit the extra layer under the Vaude...) I've now invested in a Water off a duck's back - Livia cycle coat. I'm not that keen on the red colour but suppose it beats the high viz west. The red will however clash with my pink helmet which is why I'm now fantasising about a Hovding airbag for cyclists (still not great in summer though).

IS and I are meeting next week about moving in together or rather finding a place to move in together in. I've had a sneak peak and the market is bad - there is nothing much out there apart from more expensive houses (nice but we don't actually need 4 bedrooms!). I dare say that finding something could be an issue, not least because of the time of year we'll be moving (end of January).

I've just viewed a near enough perfect flat on the market for offers over £115000. The son was showing us around and let slip what offers they've already had - £120000! The place needs a complete refurbishment! He obviously wanted to be helpful (and potentially increase the next offer) but I was gutted. However, suppose I will put in an offer of £124999 if it goes to closing date. It is just frustrating because the money that goes in over the evaluation price is money that comes out of my deposit. Then all the carpets would need replaced as a very first thing which I've reliably been told is at least another £1000. Better start saving my pennies!

2014-10-05T13:23:00.000+01:00

I've known that I'd have to write this post and now that it's time I've been surprised how affected I've been (I'm chuffed to report no crying but one sleepless night too many!). To some extent. Luckily I have a job that has distracted me.

The Internet is a terrible place and by fluke I checked HP's FB page one hour after he announced that he got married the previous weekend. Gulp. I knew it was coming from the picture he posted on FB announcing he had a girlfriend last year (a comment kind of gave it away) and it is after all my pattern...nevertheless the timing thing freaked me out a bit! I've been wondering this last week if I should post and what I should post - I dare say this makes me seem rather pathetic (that's how I feel) but on the other hand it completes the story and I dare say I'll feel better for sharing and getting it out of my system - I'd hate it if it hurts IS though - when it has actually made me appreciate what we have so much more...if that makes sense.

Mrs HP's (yup, she has taken his last name...) privacy settings aren't that high so I also gathered that a year after meeting each other they bought a house together in the suburbs. I couldn't get a shelf in his bathroom cabinet! So they met 9 months after we broke up (I still win as I met IS less than three months after we broke up ;)) and got married exactly 2 years after meeting, ~~vomit~~ how romantic. They had about 20 guests and held it at a Natural Trust for Scotland estate - big meringue dress and a ceilidh - yup, wedding photos are online too....HP has lost a fair bit of weight (so he must have cut down on the old potato mash after all - he certainly didn't look toned so it isn't sport he is doing - nothing will get that man to break into a sweat!) and his hairline has definitely receded some more too - he still has a big gap between his front teeth and a wonky eye...anyway, I'm glad he seems to have learnt his lesson and stopped being a self-centered mean bastard. I wish ~~they choke~~ them all the happiness in the world.

So severe mental distress ensued in my head with my mind-gremlins having a field day pushing my 'failure' button. This pattern has to be broken - even if I don't actually want any of that - I don't care that he got married and bla bla bla (the event is everything I'd hate!) but why did I put up with his behaviour towards me - he has clearly improved as he has done more than I could get him to do but what annoys me more is that he wasn't a nice person to me. Why did I put up with that? Why did I have to experience that when he clearly can be a nicer person (hopefully she wouldn't have married him otherwise!)? On the other hand if I hadn't been with him I wouldn't have had the hybrid and probably wouldn't have joined the club and wouldn't have met IS... Weird!

2014-09-27T12:29:00.000+01:00

Ah, just chatted with mum - just a bit of reassurance that all is well as I don't manage to speak with her all that often (she doesn't spend much time at the computer anymore so can be hard to reach).

Went on a weekend away with the cycle club last weekend and the man agreed to share the camping hut I'd booked - our first official outing as a couple with the club! I'd booked it early at a time when the man wasn't willing to commit to any planning so was glad he wanted to share in the end. Anyway, he behaved like a boyfriend which was weird - it was a bit like having babysitter...hence in the evening after dinner I went back to the hut for a bit of alone time while he went off to the pub with his cronies - he always seemed disappointed that I didn't go to the pub! Unfortunately I had to cycle with the slower pensioners...the faster folk go too far for me to go at their speed (ongoing discussion in the club). It is amazing how tiring it can be to go slowly - I nearly fell asleep on the bike a few times! Also, I got comments like - 'I need to inspect your bike to see where the engine is to help you up the hills' and from the same mannie 'whatever pills you're taking I want some of them'...first I was flattered and then I thought that had I been male none of this external attribution would have been going on - as a male it would just have been accepted that I was stronger and fitter :(

A guy in the club asked whether IS had proposed yet which I obviously had to say no to (didn't tell him that we are planning on moving in together). He then said that there was always him! Aw, and he isn't even a pensioner!!! Although he already has girlfriend (who lives in a different town) so I established that he didn't actually want to do that to her after all, tsk tsk - I'm thinking that once I'm of a certain age all this fun will stop. Obviously I tell IS this to keep him on his toes (although I'm also wondering whether his Mediterranean macho behaviour will kick in...).

Work - I'm now in two departments and have been to the 'away days' with each. One of the departments is in a bit of a state and staff are worried about losing their jobs (some have been threatened with this!) so at the away day one session was on what a successful department does. They had two PIs from another department present what they do and it is very simple - they get on, they are generous about involving each other in their work but mainly, and I like to note that nobody commented on this afterwards - they have the superstars to attract the people and funding you want to feel successful. Folk have left this department and they have not been replaced. We have two professors that really aren't very research active (i.e. don't bring in money and jobs) and the new head is not a prof and not a shining start in terms of leadership. I dare say it will take too long to wait for him to get there, it simply ain't gonna happen. I'm beginning to think that after this job my time in academia is over! Then there is the other department where everything is honkeydory as they have plenty of funding. They have stipulated that they want my role 'fully integrated in the department'. However, I'm still waiting for a key for my office, the desk I got is not the correct size for me (tall desk), I got none of the "benefits/protection" that other staff get - kind of OK as I'm not working in their field I suppose but then how can you say that you want me fully integrated when I get all the hassle and NONE of the benefits? More of the same bullshit and politics which just makes my life and role extremely difficult which is great when I have a huge and complex project to run. Fun fun fun. Still happy though as nobody has shouted at me yet - I'm very busy and already working late although this isn't annoying me yet. Have to go to work today to record my lecture - when I accepted the job I told them I had commitments and they were fine. When a meeting clashed with my face-to-face lecture I was still asked to rearrange the lecture, hence now having to record it which is a fair bit extra work than giving a lecture (much to my surprise!). The penny has also dropped that it isn't possible for a single person, no matter how gifted (!), to collect data from 132 sites, no less, in about two months or something...the prof's face when I pointed it out was priceless! Now it is suddenly no longer good use of my time...phew! Anyway, I'd say that my attitude is still OK (and has changed!) and I do try to fulfill all that is expected of me just because I've seen what happens when folk are bloody awkward for no reason at all. Definite makes me a happier person and that's important to me - it is just a job after all.

Never had so many coffees bought for me as since I started the new job. It is actually nice and just a small gesture but with huge benefits I'd say. Yesterday the prof took me to the cafe and said that she would get me a coffee but not to expect this every week! I've worked for her for 2.5 years and that was the first coffee she has bought me so I'm very aware that it will only happen once in a blue moon. However, it is extremely effective in making me (maybe just me) feel good about the people I work with. I did get a muffin too as there was a charity bake-off (how can you spoil a banana muffin and make it dry???) which probably means that I have to wait 3 years for the next one ;)

Had my leaving lunch from the old place yesterday. It was a great lunch even though it was two of us leaving. The LM wasn't there with her side-kick as they are on holiday - excellent timing (the LM is even in town so you would have thought that appearing for a lunch wouldn't be too difficult but there you have it). The other prof that I've worked with turned up much to my surprise. If he hadn't turned up I wouldn't have thought any less of him so I was very honoured but still annoyed that the deputy manager was very surprised that he turned up! I'd say it took me a very long time to learn how to work with him but now I absolutely love it (also because I seem to say the right things on occasion in my haphazard way which inspires him!). We were 15 (!) at the restaurant and conversation flowed, folk were laughing and I think everybody genuinely had a good time - exactly what I'd wanted. Normally you have a "tea party" when folk leave but I didn't fancy that at all - dull and much less sociable. I wasn't expecting a voucher of such great value as my leaving present either! Giving my 'thank-you speech' I firstly had to wait to be able to speak...Say to everyone that we'll met up for lunch when I know perfectly well that this is highly unlikely or will definitely fizzle out is just part of life I suppose.

House hunting - still ongoing. Was supposed to see a super spacious and affordable flat today but got a call yesterday that they had accepted an offer so not to go :( Crap! Anyway, it wasn't perfect but I'm noticing that I seem to get excited by flats that will need upgrading in the not too distant future. This has surprised me but suppose it will save me money on the initial buying cost which is also great. This is such as slow process though - had thought the market would pick up a bit after the referendum but this doesn't seem to be the case - still only ground floor flats for sale in my favourite location! Are top floor flats just less likely to be sold?

Hmn, very boring post...

2014-09-18T20:33:00.001+01:00

"Hope you had good break – and now back to the work!"
Was how the prof greeted me on my return from my holiday. No velvet gloves there then, gulp! It has been non-stop since and I'm now paying time back to the old place of work which is weird. Last time we had a meeting it occurred to me that I was no longer bothered about handing the study over - my grieving was done. Anyway, it all seemed to have gone far too easy for them until it turns out that my replacement is expecting. It will be an issue but only because of how the chief operates. Nothing to do with me.

So I'm determined to write today on this momentous day for Scotland. It occurred to me recently that my grandparents would have voted after WWI about where the boarder between Germany and Denmark should be - feels like history is repeating itself! Anyway, I got up earlier (not as early as planned...) than usual so that voting wouldn't delay me for work. Well, we were two folk there when I voted so I needn't have worried! It is all very surreal but I fully expect a NO as that's how I know this country - any change or unknown then folk will shy away. The two sides have been opposite poles - one overly positive and one overly pessimistic. I found it really difficult to figure out how to vote as I didn't find the information I wanted to be accessible and impartial - not that I put in great effort either. Anyway, they have now promised devo max so there is hope for Scotland yet although I'm sure this will still cost. But folk are engaged and everyone is talking about it - so much so that some have moved money out of the country while others have plans to move if it is a yes.

House hunting is doing my head in. The flats/houses I can afford can be rather pitiful and at the end of the world - once I thought I had an almost goer but then read that there was a factory charge of £30 a MONTH. A MONTH???? How can that cost so much? Do they hoover and cut the grass every single day? No freaking way. The market has slowed down a bit - fixed price is appearing rather often and it isn't uncommon that listings reappear saying 'no longer under offer'. I daren't think that I have a chance. However, time is of essence as due to my age I won't be able to get a mortgage soon!

In DK I did my first long solo ride - 68 miles/110 km! It was a sportif and I got a chip which I dutifully fastened to my bike knowing that they wouldn't be measuring by the time I returned. Bro couldn't ride with me as he was busy with golf. I did consider not doing it as the weather was abysmal while I was in DK (after an amazing summer...typical) but I went along and was the black sheep - everyone else was a mamil (we were 8 females). About 30 km in I get that feeling of being watched - you know what I mean? I stopped at the side of a road to have a drink and congratulate myself on making good progress. A car pulled up with a bike carrier. I'm like WTF? Chap comes up to me and asks how it is going and whether I was on the correct route? (there was a fun ride on at the same time with routes of 42 and 25 km). I was flabbergasted and there and then there was no way back for me. Just before my lunch stop the rain came on rather heavily...fab. turns out about 16 males (!) didn't complete because they got a bit wet. Pathetic. Anyway, they thought I was brilliant especially because I was doing it on a "normal bike". My KOGA isn't a normal bike at 9.6 kg but they can't see that - they thought it was a normal bike because it had a rack. It was a beautiful route though but it was tough that the worst hills were all at the end after 90 km (I started to feel tired at 75km as going alone isn't something I'm used to - it was windy too). The best bit though was to hear my mum tell my brother how proud she was of me for completing:)

Anyway, I'm packing for a weekend away with the cycle club and my BF :)

2014-08-18T18:43:00.000+01:00

I've been living in a war zone - mum and dad not reaching an agreement about getting/not getting a new car. Anyway, new car now ordered. Apparently I'll get the car if/when dad won't be allowed to drive anymore. Hope he has more luck with the new one as the old one has had a rough ride in the past year - dad was cutting down trees and one landed on the roof of the car (he collects wood every winter) and after getting the boat stuck on a rock he proceeded to reverse the car onto a rock on the same day... Anyway, I declared that I was Switzerland but dad had already neclegted the old car so much that a new car is actually needed. He could have got a used one mind. Less inheritance to worry about.

Today bro was here to sort the TV and internet wiring and I used the opportunity to start cleaning. I wanted to start when I arrived but mum is tricky - if you ask you get a no and now that I've started it is simply wonderful. Anyway, this should keep me busy for the remaining time here as the weather isn't going to be cycle friendly. They've had fantastic weather since March right until I arrived. The usual story.

Got a good cycle in on Saturday when bro and girlfriend came out. Funny to see the average speed go up considerably because I change to the KOGA (suppose not going with the club helps too).

So I'm finally on holiday.

2014-08-05T20:57:00.000+01:00

Eh, today IS asked me if I'd move in together with him. Gosh, I didn't even hesitate. Anyway, it is complicated as he has yet to get out of the lease he is currently in. Seems you get screwed if you stick with the agreement - the person who breaks it gets away with it (flatmate has legged it).

We've just been on our first holiday together so I take it he enjoyed himself too (a long weekend). We drove up to Thurso and took the ferry to Orkney and drove back down with another overnight stop. We only took the bikes to Orkney and he was in front breaking the wind for me with a steady 18 km an hour....It was a bit slow but I didn't tell him until lunch (in Kirkwall) as that meant I had time to look around. On the way back I was in front (tail wind) and we were going at 30km an hour and more - downhill I was up on 56.9 kn an hour!!!! That's bloody fast! I didn't dare look on the GPS and when I did look it said 46 km an hour - had I seen the 56 km/hr I would have fallen off the bike! Obviously we were away for four days and it rained two days and I got soaked twice. I mean properly soaked. It was nice driving up and back down again...typical. We stayed off the main roads and it was some pretty amazing driving! Lots of comments of 'oh, this road would be nice for a cycle'...

I've moved most of my habengut from work. Had to clean the new place first mind and it was properly filthy, sigh. Great to be back in academia. The boss is hassling me for stuff but it seems limited what I can do with no access to a shared folder etc the usual carry on. At least I've been of some help, I think. Have a laptop again - great big bulky thing which doesn't have SSD memory...

At the job I'm leaving the Chief finally got back to me on his return from holiday. The message I got was a bit OTT but judge for yourself
"I am devastated that you are leaving me! You have been stunningly good and a huge amount of the success of the study has been down to all your hard work.
I' am inconsolable!"
That was news to me...

Anyway, actions still speak louder than words and he still put me on as third author on the publications (don't worry, I rightfully put myself second before submitting - to my LM's surprise although she was telling me he should have put me second...).

Apparently management are surprised and hurt that we're not happy. If you found out your staff aren't happy at all would that not make you at least write an email? To me it just seems that they don't care at all when they do nothing. They are just waiting for the storm to blow over. Anyway, it isn't just seniors that are at it - there is no team feeling in many ways so colleagues won't let others in on the action. Not very nice. Anyway, that's now history for me although I still have to complete an exit questionnaire and really want to choose my words very carefully!

2014-07-08T22:38:00.001+01:00

Ooooh, my lovely BF returned home tonight and came straight to the bungalow for dinner. He had a present for me and had even remembered that I had asked it wouldn't be chocolate if he was bringing me something. Imagine - he got me a Eau de toilette! How fantastic is that?!?! The weird thing is that I had thought I wanted to get something but never got any further than that. The one he got is Mademoiselle Ricci and it is actually nice - quite flowery but not sweet or in your face. As the icing on the cake he also brought me a own mitt - heart shaped with my name embroidered and two hearts :) Aw, how brilliant is that!

Speaking of cake - I'd made carrot cake because he's told me that he likes that. He wanted almond in and my recipe said walnut. Did buy almonds but chickened out and added the walnuts. Wrote happy b-day BF and added a candle. That was a first too :)

He hasn't lost any weight though in spite of nearly two weeks of cycling...

2014-07-05T15:15:00.000+01:00

Is it normal to crave G&T at 1 in the afternoon?

I've received the new contract and just need to read it it before signing. There is no going back though as I've resigned from my current job. I know this is not the way to do it and at one point it did occur to me that I could get royally screwed but then I thought that that would be OK - just a change of circumstance sooner rather than later. Even without a pay rise I'm moving. Still very, very weird. Had to wait until Thursday to get my last day - they've shaved a month off my notice period and I'll be 3/2 days in the old place and new place in August. As if they can't wait to get rid of me...

My LM is very keen to know why I'm going although I've said it seems an opportunity to me too good to pass by (not to be shouted at - didn't mention that btw) and I don't really want to go. I told her verbally early in the week and next day felt that a few folk already knew so haven't kept it to myself - doesn't seem to be any point to. Among colleagues I'm blaming the remote prof but in reality he hasn't done anything to make me move as such (lately), but he certainly hasn't done anything to keep me. I've emailed him the news and couldn't see any way/need to wrap it up nicely so was perhaps somewhat blunt (a bit like he has been about my importance in the grand scheme of things - recently he made a point of putting me as third author on the protocol and his nurse second! She hasn't even read the bloody thing nor does it have any impact on her career (retirement isn't far away)!). No response. The nurse did send me a somewhat abrupt email about something else so I gather he's told her...

I did however worry about how the other prof I currently work with would take it. He was surprisingly supportive! He even wants me to do the teaching in autumn with him. I really didn't expect that but am pleased - he might even be my savior at the end of this contract...it was difficult in the beginning to work with him but I really like it now - he makes far more sense than anyone else (he does the science bits properly although he sometimes has to be prompted to go through the thought process).

I'm working my ass off to leave everything in a good state. The final report has been handed over to the other team and we've done what we can. Our application for more centrally collected data was submitted yesterday (again so hopefully that will be it for Scotland although everything is on hold in England so I can't do anything about that). Last night I went back to the office to pick up my stuff after going for drinks with colleagues (social club initiative - we were about 7 folks...very social!) when the rain set in so I started on the protocol which needs to be submitted for publication before the end of the month. I nearly finished it but think I need to run over it on Monday before circulating but I got home at 11 pm and felt accomplished. Due to the time restrictions I'll have to make decisions as the prof will be dodging them (no response to my queries in the paper for example...). I'm sure the decisions will come back to haunt me but there you go. That's the three of the four biggies I need to get done this month (and on top of that a paper for my old project). Busy time!

Met with the two profs on the new project. They are working very closely on this project and it will be a bit of a culture shock as there will be no secrets/politics/tripping up between the two of them! That bit I'm already impressed with but it is necessary - there is a lot at stake. I wasn't that impressed that the new (to me) lead wanted to pay me for my holidays (from old job) as he doesn't want to pay for them! I rather take the days, thank you very much! I'll apparently also have two desks in two departments. This means I'll be placed with a completely different discipline which will make me feel like an impostor...although they tend to wear socks in sandals so I shouldn't look out of place ;) not ideal but I've decided to have more of a 'yes it can be done' attitude as I've seen how the no attitude plagues a whole department.

The Bf comes back next week. Kind of thinking that in the new job I probably won't have time to see him. Moving in together would make sense but suppose he doesn't see it that way so no need to even consider it an option. Just need to make sure I don't get out of the habit of exercising!

The bungalow landlord is pissing me right off though. They are increasing the rent by £25 a month for the next rental year. Flat inspections continue too. When I queried it the response I got was that the rents in town are currently at a premium. Right, and what are they going to do for me for that money? The loft flooring, which was taken out for the insulation to be put down, is still in the shed (diagonally across the floor so somewhat in the way!). The agency is working on getting it removed although the landlord wants it to stay there. I emailed them pictures and thought I better suggest a better solution which would be to put one or two boards down in the loft and store the rest on top - they want to hang on the the floorboards so they can be put down later (...) but it is damp in the shed...(kind of obvious but there you go). Anyway, I wouldn't be all that sorry to leave and have started to clear out. I think it would be daft to buy a place now so close to the referendum so I'll bide my time and see what happens (chances are it won't get cheaper but no need to risk it - although probably won't be able to get a mortgage if it is a yes...). Might not even be allowed to stay, who knows!

This post is brought to you with Rasmus Seebach on repeat - for the last three hours!

2014-06-21T22:12:00.000+01:00

I really didn't think I would but today I completed the 100 mile run with the club! The fast guys all were asking how I was feeling and if I had food enough and just looking after me which was actually nice. My boyfriend on the other hand turned up late so he only caught up with us at coffee and then before lunch he went exploring and then went AWOL...he took the train home! Tsk tsk, make me do it and he was such a lazy bugger himself, scheesh!!! My total mileage was 189 km but I actually forgot to switch the GPS on AGAIN so I lost a few km/miles which means I've done near 200km...gosh. My bottom would described today with rather rude words though as my new saddle isn't as comfy as it has been advertised...need to work out what I'm doing wrong.

Yesterday we celebrated our 1 year anniversary since our first date - the actual anniversary is next week but the man is away so we did it last night. Time flies! Went out for dinner and then a drink...which means that I did 100 miles without fueling up first on pasta etc as we were out for sushi just like our first date (same place too). He had even bought me a present which I didn't expect at all! He got me some folding pliers that also have a knife - handy for cycling!

Not everyone knows that we're a couple so one guy at one point asked me whether I have a thing for IS. Fnar! You could call it that I suppose...the man himself is very shy in the club and won't let me kiss him - when we are out he is happy to stand around kissing on busy streets.

I'm knackered, better get in the shower!

2014-06-12T20:42:00.000+01:00

My LM was chasing me up the stairs after a meeting today as I'd seemed disengaged (she had to give up as I was too fast). Well, another senior who doesn't like the process (the one who shouted at me) we have to go through is telling me what information they do and don't need never mind what they have asked for. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY JOB? But that's the little league. The prof on my other project has decided to be nice and hand over our tables all formatted and ready to go...which means muggins here gets to format them because there is no one else. And everything is last minute so of course I have to give up my time to do it. It seems. The tables have to be proofread and merged and and and. Apparently I'm a cheap secretarial help. My main CI emailed to ask where our publication was at as if I was supposed to work on it - I received it without any instructions. IT SEEMS I SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ MINDS TOO. So I sent out the meeting materials today and said they can print their own copies (the study secretary is on holiday). I'm sure that will give bad karma too (there was about 15 docs to print...).

Then my old prof emailed to say she was pleased to see that I had applied for her job and if I had any questions just to come along. At least I managed to book myself on for the interview although the system seemed confused because I'm staff so I nearly didn't manage. There were three slots so I assume three candidates. She does seem very keen to get me, so much so that I'm worried about what I'll be in for!

Then I had another 'big talk' with the bf. He says I can talk with him but when I try it doesn't really register until I'm at the dumping stage. Then he takes notice. Dunno, he supposedly enjoys my company but really, I don't need him if it isn't more than that. At least I got it into his thick skull that we need to do things together, not least holidays. I just want to move forward and not wade in circles in the same stuff again and again - that's just stupid and boring.

On a cheerier note, I've just sent off my first surprise present in the pay-it-forward initiative. I've already received so now I hope the recipient likes what I've made...I've given some of my first glassware. Photos should follow. At some point.

2014-06-06T21:10:00.000+01:00

Just need to wash the bike (i.e. clean the chain...) and I'll be ready for a cycle tomorrow and hopefully Sunday too (forecast is sunny for Sunday!). Unfortunately, I'm not able to fit my over-shorts...I really need to do something about my weight and fitness...latter being more important. I know what to do but do I really want to dump my BF because he brings me chocolates?

Had my appraisal (although that's not what it is called anymore) today and I'm chuffed. At least I seemed to manage to complete the form OK, not that that should really count, and got some things aired. Not that it will really change anything because management aren't accountable in terms of taking on board upward feedback. Anyway, it is dismally clear that I'm not alone with my opinions. Hey-ho. Good stint just now and I really don't want to leave but I think I need to as I'm dumbing down and getting really lazy. To some extent at least. The constantly banging my head against the wall that is management is also less and less fun and increasingly tedious. It. Is. Killing. My. Soul.

Spoke to the person in post for the job I've applied for. Doesn't seem to be all that bad - the initial worst part of the job being over. I'm not hugely excited by the subject though, the little I know. However, after meeting a friend this week it has also occurred to me that I really shouldn't consider that going back to research would be the end of me. The prospect doesn't thrill me though - the only thing that makes me happy is that my old prof is genuinely keen to get me back (person in post let that slip) - a little appreciation goes a long way! I do also think we make a good team. I'm desperately trying not to romanticise my time as an RF though as it wasn't all that glam...

Got a few new bits and pieces for the bungalow and it is just lovely. Would like to post pics here but annoyed at the boot robot that comes just to pic up my photos, grrr. I've made some stuff myself and now have bit and pieces all over the place and will actually give some away shortly - happiness!

Woke up this morning and actually felt recovered from the cold. Nice. Did cough horridly going up the hill but turns out I got my third PB :)

Went to kettlebells last night. Phew, hard work that was and today I can suddenly see that I have muscles again, not least feel them, hello there! I really need to keep this up as that is such an important workout my joints need. Shame that the BF can only see me Mon, Tues or Thurs - Tues and Thurs are out for me!!!

Not much contact from the man (currently touring). Unsurprisingly I've been having doubts again. And then I got my period...am I really the woman I'm telling friends off for being? Wouldn't surprise me. Mum has already told me not to waste my time. She was awfully right the last time.

2014-06-01T11:09:00.003+01:00

It is another lovely day with sunshine and I'm coughing (chesty) and sniffing (manageable).

Sometimes I scare myself. I've had an overwhelming feeling that I'd be leaving the bungalow soon. I have no plans to do so and since the insulation has been put it is unbelievably cosy. I'm very happy here - even the garden isn't as overwhelming anymore (although the roses have all come out in dark spots this year - too much water earlier in the year? Seems indeed to be the case and then this fungal disease can spread...oh!). So last night the man broke the news that his flatmate has announced that he will be moving on in July. Ah. He has been a bit of a loose canon since he moved in but I didn't actually think anything would come of it. Had thought that if it happened then it would be a natural opportunity. Just now though, I'm not overjoyed. Anyway, doesn't seem to be on the cards so not worried.

2014-05-31T11:39:00.003+01:00

I've been stuck at home for the past two, technically now three, days in an attempt to beat this dreaded lurgy thing that keeps appearing, hence the facelift. Have managed to achieve a fair few things between naps (like moving all my music to the new puter -I'm so excited! I've cleaned my portable hard disk which has been on my to do list for, well, years). Anyway, welcome and do make yourself at home - let me know if you are missing any facilities (this new blogger template is so simple that they are hard to work...).

At least I'm not coughing at night although I'm finding it difficult to sleep again. Suppose I haven't been able to exercise enough lately. This should come to an end now as the BF is off on his tour so I can get back to my routine! I will book kettlebells!!!

I've ordered another grocery shop, this time from Tesco. Didn't find much on offer but delivery is only £1 and I got £12 off as it was my first shop. Nice. They didn't have the flour I want either so I'm running out of options (they didn't have an organic filter either like Sainsbury's does). Hey-ho.

2014-05-28T21:30:00.000+01:00

I've applied for another job today. With my old prof. She emailed me after hearing I might be interested. I had discussed it with my mentor but even considered it before that and talked myself out of it. I also talked myself out of it after talking with my mentor. I've applied now though. Because the deadline was today. Doesn't feel right but then it doesn't feel wrong either. No guarantees of course. Of course no guarantees that I will take it either. She was very nice about it and complimented my attention to detail although I'm slow?!?!?! Tsk tsk, I have more speed now but she does mainly do crazy deadlines though.

A meeting at work today tuned into a complete rebellion. Dare say that things will be fun when the line manager returns - she doesn't like it when she is told to do some work...Anyway, at least three of us have applied elsewhere now. It is a real shame as I'm already thinking that I'll miss the girls. But enough really is enough - have just downloaded another three potential jobs so might apply for them too.

The cold is back with a vengeance - cough, cough, cough, sniff sniff :(

2014-05-26T21:44:00.000+01:00

I'm a total convert and love my GPS even more - I've cycled from the campsite to the train station (Haymarket) i.e. through the centre of Edinburgh!!!! Me. On my bike! Suddenly a lot of freedom is mine :) Rather liberating!!! The arrival in Edinburgh was less glamorous as I couldn't get my prepared route to work and my friends route didn't work either (Google map directions) so I luckily thought of using the postcode to get to the campsite and it totally worked! We did walk as I couldn't interpret the GPS and cycle in Edinburgh city centre on a Friday but got on the bikes once there was less traffic/more space - we also had panniers so traffic was even less fun than usual (probably a cycle streets specific issue though as the rally routes worked fine). I was also silly not to try using the GPS this way a little bit before this trip...

So the cycle rally came and went. It was as bad as expected - the usual lack of communication in the organizational team. Anyway, that seems to be the point and we can't deviate! It has also clicked for me that there is always 5 miles from the train station to the campsite - this has been the case for all three rallies I've attended. A-ha (this is an issue as locals don't really tend to support the rallies as it is too close to their usual routes).

I got through the weekend but hanging in the rails at times! My friend has got herself into a financial tricky situation but I'd say that sanitary products is NOT the best way to save. Anyway, there was the traditional washout but already on Sunday so we were well chuffed that we were glamping it. Saturday we went on the 40 miler which was 50 miles. The most tiring 50 miles I've even done! It was freezing cold and a bit wet and then a bit sunny. It was hard work to get through town with 21 cyclist in row but I must admit that cycling over (also back) the Forth Road Bridge which was totally the highlight of the weekend for me. Yesterday we didn't get out and folk that went out drowned (we took the bus to Princes street and had lunch - I was rather bored though). Last night we went to the ceilidh and I got a few dances although the men were less keen - I enjoyed myself though. Today we were on the 20 miler and had no less than four punctures - two people each twice! I did start to get nervous about getting back to the campsite in time to get stuff and get on the train. It was all OK in the end - I've even left my panniers with a couple from the club which is great - nothing to unpack tonight :)

Unfortunately I started to feel poorly last night - my cough is really nasty now so I'm waiting to see how I feel tomorrow. Because of this I did jump on an earlier train and paid £33 for a single ticket...my other ticket is non-refundable. Of course. I need to start watching my pennies a bit.