Oh My Aches and Pains!

Pep Talk: Rediscovering That You Are Loved

2012-02-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

Lately I haven't been feeling the love much. I've been so preoccupied with my health care plans for this year and finding new doctors to replace the other doctors who have fallen off my team that all I have been feeling is a whole lot of stress lately. Plus I have a feeling that some of the medical procedures I've undergone in the last few weeks have put me off kilter, which has only served to make me more of a Grumpy than a Happy.

So with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I figured I might as well try and reconnect to the love in my life. So here I go...

Getting in Touch With the Love in My Life

You know, rediscovering the love in my life was at first surprisingly difficult to do. I mean, it's easy to say "I have love in my life," but when chronic illness locks you away like a fairy tale princess in some old, dark, dingy and forgotten castle, it's hard to remember who loves you, let alone what love is. It's just too bad a kiss can't break the spell of chronic illness!

No wonder I can't feel the love. Chronic illness is the ultimate love buster.

Yes, I'm guilty of letting my chronic illnesses run the show lately, hence my current predicament. Now that I have identified the problem, I definitely need to do some damage control and tap into the healing power of love.

Step One: Act "As If"

Since I was having a hard time feeling the love, I decided it was time to "fake it 'til I feel it." So I made a positive twist on that old blackboard punishment, you know the one where you write a single phrase over and over again until it is permanently stuck in your brain. Only I made it fun and poignant by writing I am so loved on a beautiful piece of digital art I happened to find over at the Microsoft Office website. Here it is again below:

Then I really made the message stick by declaring it publicly. I took that piece of word art I created and made it my Facebook cover image.

Step Two: Fall Back in Love with Myself

I know when I let chronic illness take over, it has a sneaky way of interfering with my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Solely focusing on my chronic illnesses can really make me feel bad about myself, which makes it hard from me to feel or acknowledge anything good. It is a dangerous vortex that can suck me down and drag me under in mere seconds if I am not careful.

So what can make a girl feel good about herself again?

I'm sure there are many answers to that question, but my answer was in a new tube of Mary Kay lipstick in the shade Really Red. It gave me the opportunity to have some grown-up dress up fun trying out a new look. I took some picture too, which, much to my surprise, turned out quite well! Take a look:

Step Three: Write a Love List

The first two exercises were a good start, but I found I wanted more tangible proof of the love I received from others. Now of course my first thoughts were of my pets and my husband, because they are the people that interact with me on a daily basis. But they aren't the only ones who love me, so I waded through the fibro-fog and searched my brain for people I didn't interact with on a regular basis. This was a little more challenging, but I put my thinking cap on and started by acknowledging these five people:

my friend Dina who makes room in her busy schedule to spend some precious time with me
my friend Beth who keeps in touch with me, even though I haven't been so good about keeping in touch with her
my friend Cyndie who recently told me that knowing me has made a big difference in her life
my friend Colleen who keeps telling me I am her hero for enduring so many trials and tribulations with aplomb
my mother-in-law Kay who has heart-to-heart conversations with me and taught me how to can tomatoes last summer

I stepped back and pondered my list. In doing so, I verified that I am so loved. I also realized that I didn't need a lot of names on my list, because being well loved by just a few people was quite enough indeed.

Now here is the weird thing: ever since I started this list a few days ago, I find myself adding to it. It's like a snowball effect. I started with just five people, but once I got rolling, I started remembering more and more people who love me, past and present. The more people and love I reconnected to, the easier it was to truly feel that I am so loved.

Take the "I Am So Loved" Challenge

Now that I have given you some ideas about how to reconnect with love, I am going to challenge you to rediscover that you are loved too. Don't let chronic illness make you feel nothing by grumpy. Try my steps or create some new ones of your own!

I want to hear all about the love in your life and how you work to feel it, experience it and appreciate it despite your life with chronic illness.

XOXO,

I Am So Loved

2012-02-08T06:57:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Wordless Wednesday,

where the focus is on visual images.

Here is the fourth in my series of "Inspiring Words" images.

Can Money Buy You Good Health?

2012-02-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

They say that money can't buy you love or happiness, but I am beginning to think that it might actually be able to buy you good health, or at least better health if you live with chronic illness.

I know nowadays there is a lot of talk about the uninsured and those with health insurance. Correspondingly, you hear a lot about the two different health care systems serving these groups: the publicly funded health care system (think county hospitals and clinics) and the insurance funded health care system (think doctors in private practice, medical centers, etc.)

Having medical insurance and chronic illness, I've spent a good portion of my time and energy access care in the insurance funded health care system over the past eight years. I've learned a lot of things about how this system care works, enough to write a whole series of blog post. But perhaps my most perplexing discovery is that there is actually a third health care system that doesn't get a lot of attention, that of the cash-only or self-pay medical practice.

As the name implies, these are physicians and other health care professionals charge up front for their services. So if you can't pay (or charge the bill to your credit card) you can't be seen. They don't accept your insurance--in fact many don't belong to insurance networks and have opted-out of Medicaid and Medicare. Most will provide you with a superbill so you can submit their charges to your insurance company, but since their rates are usually above and beyond what your insurance carrier considers "reasonable and customary," you will only be reimbursed for a fraction of what you paid them.

So, in essence, this third health care system is for those who have money, lots and lots of money.

I don't have lots and lots of money, so in the past, whenever I have stumbled upon one of these medical practices, I have steered clear and not given them a second thought. Which is all well and good except that, as time has gone on and the insurance driven medical system has failed to provide me with adequate care for my chronic illnesses, I now am getting referred to this third system of care because its members provide the services I am seeking. In this system reside the experts in things like pain management, rare diseases and disorders and novel and cutting edge treatments that pick up where conventional approaches fall short.

Yes, it seems that here in Los Angeles many of the doctors who are at the top of their fields convert to this kind of practice.

Now I find myself wishing I had the money, the golden ticket, to access this third level of care. I'm drawn by the allure of better treatment that could potentially make a significant difference in my quality of life. Granted, I don't think they could cure me, but from what I have heard, it seems like these upper echelon providers could reduce my chronic illness burden and help me regain some of the day-to-day functioning I have lost along the way.

With all the hype, I have to wonder, 'Could being treated by one of these cash-only healthcare providers be the difference between living disabled and living more able-bodied?'

Unless I win the lottery or become the recipient of some fortune from a deceased distant relative, I guess I will never know.

So what do you think? Can money buy you good health? What is your opinion of cash-only or self-pay medical practices? Are you able to access this top tier medical system or is the admission price preventing you from getting the kind of medical care they provide?

Please share your answer to this Question of the Week below in a comment or over on the Oh My Aches and Pains! Facebook page.

The Health Care Games People Play: What Should I Do?

2012-02-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week. I attended a plethora of doctors' appointments this week so could be ready to start Hepatitis C treatment. My week included painful procedures Monday and Tuesday and ending with frustration on Thursday when I learned the new neurologist I saw wasn't a good fit for my needs. Right now I am tired, grumpy and beyond annoyed.

So take what I am about to say with a grain of salt. Oh, and I have purposely not named names to shield myself from any venting fallout.

A Really Slow Process

One of the things that is really bugging me right now is how long it is taking to get my Hepatitis C treatment drugs. I saw my hepatologist on January 10th and I learned from the support staff (see below) that he didn't write the prescriptions until January 20th. Then it took my call on January 24th to finally get the prescriptions faxed to the pharmacy.

Unbeknownst to me, my primary insurance information got deleted from the hospital computer system, so my prescriptions got sent to a private specialty pharmacy that bills Medicare, my secondary insurance. I'm not sure how that happened, since I verify that information every single time I come in to see my doctor.

Getting the Ball Rolling

As I mentioned above, I called two week after seeing my doctor since no one had contacted me like the doctor said they would. During my first conversation with support staff, I got a "song and dance" about how it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get things going. It was after that lecture that we got to the business of checking on the status of my prescriptions and discovered the deletion of my primary insurance information. I then went on to inform the staff of the details of my prescription benefit coverage, which is a separate entity from my primary health insurance.

I thought we ended the discussion with the staff person saying my prescriptions would be re-routed to my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy.

Confusion Ensues

A day or two later I got a call from the private specialty pharmacy saying that they couldn't find my Medicare drug coverage. So I called them back telling them that Medicare wasn't my drug coverage and that I had private prescription insurance. I told them the prescriptions were sent to them in error and were being re-routed to my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy. Then this past Tuesday, the private specialty pharmacy called me again wanting my private prescription insurance information. I called them back once again explaining that the prescriptions were sent to them in error and asking them to please forward them to my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy.

I then called the support staff at my doctor's office since I was getting the distinct feeling that things were not happening the way they were supposed to be.

Doing Things Their Way

Sure enough, the staff did not send my prescriptions to my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy. No, I was told that working with my prescription insurance was a "nightmare" and they would rather use this private specialty pharmacy than deal with my prescription insurance directly. When I told them I called my prescription insurance and was told the Hepatitis C medications would only be covered if they came from their specialty pharmacy, I was told that I was given incorrect information.

Yeah, O.K., whatever. I'm not going to argue. I figured that their private specialty pharmacy would be told the same thing when they called my prescription insurance. No sense in belaboring the point when it was clear the staff was persistent in doing things their way and perceived my phone calls as "getting more involved than I needed to be."

Prescriptions from the Barrio?

I decided I wanted to learn more about this private specialty pharmacy the staff is so in love with. So I Googled the number they called me from and the first link was to their website--which was down. So I went back to Google to search the other name the staff used for the pharmacy and this is what I found on Google maps:

My prescriptions are coming from "Rx Farmacia"?
Where is the front door?
And is that crime scene tape on the street in front of the pharmacy?

Is it just me, or does it seem ________ (insert an adjective here) that a big university medical center rated "Best in the West" is sending my prescriptions for Hepatitis C treatment here? And O.K., so I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but I certainly find it odd that this book's title is in Spanish.

What Should I Do?

In all seriousness, I feel incredibly uncomfortable with my medications coming from here. I mean, I have seen other private specialty pharmacies and none of them looked like this. I am praying the my prescription insurance gave me the right information and will deny coverage because I admit the look of this pharmacy conveys the messages "counterfeit medications," "money laundering" and "fly by night."

I mean, I hate to admit this, but based on appearances I trust my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy way more than this place. Plus I did some more research and discovered that my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy can have my medications delivered to my local chain pharmacy location. The pharmacy pictured above is in East Los Angeles, which is nowhere near where I live or could get to on my own. So they have to ship my medications and I have to wait around to receive them so I can get them into the refrigerator ASAP.

This all begs the question: if you were in my shoes, what in the world would you do???

I can't wait to read your answers...

ADDENDUM: 6:01 am--After I posted this, I called my prescription insurance's specialty pharmacy and I am happy to report that they received my prescriptions for Hepatitis C treatment. Not sure if they came from the private specialty pharmacy or the doctor's office; either way I don't care! I am so pleased with this outcome! I am now eagerly awaiting a call from Brittany who will facilitate the process. Because I am worried about the "nightmare" comment (see above), the first thing I am going to do is ask Brittany to call me every time they need something from my doctor's office so I can keep in top of them.

Be Thankful for What You Have

2012-02-01T08:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Wordless Wednesday,

where the focus is on visual images.

This is third in my series of "Inspiring Words" images.