I have been going through R’s back taxes.  In 2002, the year before he was hurt, his total income was $13000.  The farm showed a loss.  In 2003 and 2004, most of his income was from his long term disability insurance and was less than that.  The farm showed a loss in those years too.  As his neck and hips have continued to deteriorate, he has been able to do less and less on the farm and even with me helping, the income has not been over $5000 in any year.

How can a judge order someone to pay their more than they make in spousal support?  I don’t suppose I will ever understand how this could happen and I still have trouble believing that it can’t be changed.  I suppose the short answer is that he should have had an attorney for his divorce but it gets to be more complicated when the cheapest attorney he could find requires a $5000 retainer.

Now we are faced with getting another attorney.  I don’t know how we will pay for it but I have learned the hard way that to go to court without one is a losing proposition.  I may be having a retainer sale of everything left on the farm.

Today is the first day that I have felt even semi normal.  I can look at life with a little bit more of a hopeful attitude and am praying that the new attorney will be able to make some headway.   He is very well respected in the county court system.  Of course, that means he is also very expensive but since it is apparently pay now or pay more later, he will be worth it.

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It is a vicious cycle.  Get broke, get depressed, spend money, feel better, be broker, and then get more depressed.  It is a lot like dieting.  You eat for comfort and then you gain weight.  When you realize it, you go on a diet, lose a few pounds and then get depressed about something and the cycle starts all over again.

I suppose I am thinking about this because our experience with court has left us literally penniless.  It took every penny that I had in the house plus calling in some money owed plus borrowing about $500 to keep R from being locked up.  It feels like legal extortion.

The good news is that there is no money to spend.  No credit cards to make new debt and so I am just sitting here reflecting on the things I would like to do.  It’s less expensive than going on a shopping spree but not as comforting.

I believe that most of us need to find things to comfort us that are less destructive than incurring debt and eating ourselves into oblivion.  I am right there with the rest of the majority of Americans and these are my two worst habits.   I suppose it could be worse, I could find comfort in alcohol or drugs.  Thankfully, neither of those are my cross to bear.

One of the things that I find the most helpful at times like these is finding things in my life to be grateful. There are so many things:  my health, R, my children and small things such as watching the birds on the feeder outside my window.  It doesn’t put money in the bank but it keeps me grounded in reality.  These are things that are the most important and that make me feel better.

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I don’t think I have ever felt so totally hopeless and helpless in my life.  We went to court today expecting to be able to get the support amended because R has finally qualified for disability.  The Circuit Court judge told us that when he was approved the circumstances would have changed and he could apply for termination.  This would be good because it would allow us to work on some sort of repayment plan for the arrears.  Previously he was told that he had no income when the spousal support was ordered, he has no income now so nothing had changed and they couldn’t change it.

The last time we were in court, the judge ordered him to continue to pay what he could until he heard about his disability.  He has continued to pay what he could afford.  When we got to court today, the judge why he shouldn’t put him in jail and R showed him the approval letter for SSI.  He gets a whole $674 per month.  When the R asked him to terminate the spousal support based on a change of circumstances, the judge told him that he couldn’t do that today, that he would have to go through the proper procedure.  Then the judge asked what his plan was to repay the arrears and R told him that he could afford $100-150 per month and the judge says, “That isn’t going to cut it.”  He then ordered him to pay $2500 today or be taken into custody with a $2500 purge.

I left the courthouse to drain all of our bank accounts and borrow the rest of the money to get him out.  This puts us $40,000+ in debt to his ex and a total of another $9,000 in debt to some very, very good friends.  I don’t know what the judge expects him to do.  He can’t even borrow the money as long as the spousal support is continuing to accrue.  What bank would lend someone money when their debts are 125 percent of their income?

So yes, I am feeling down, depressed, hopeless and very, very disappointed with the American justice system.  I’m not even angry at the ex wife.  I can’t blame her for going after whatever she has been told that she legally can get but there certainly has to be some relief here.

R is not one of those men who quit their jobs so that he can avoid paying.  He was disabled before they were even separated.   This is pretty much legal extortion.  There is no way out and the debt just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

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It doesn’t seem like that would be a hard goal to reach but with the cost of food (we have blown the grocery budget this month with 3 trips to the store) it is a little more challenging than it seems.  Amelia has me searching through my recipes and not finding many that are both frugal and lo cal.

One of my favorites is Salsa Chicken.  Boneless chicken breasts are marinaded in a salsa marinade and then grilled or broiled.

Salsa Chicken

1/3 cup lime juice
2 tsp minced ginger
2 cloves minced garlic
2 Tb olive oil
2 tsp chili powder
1 cup Salsa
1 1/2 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts

Mix first 5 ingredients in a small pan and bring to a boil.  Stir in Salsa and allow to cool.  Put chicken breasts in a plastic bag and marinade for 2 – 24 hours in the refrigerator.

Grill or broil chicken breasts, turning once and basting with some marinade when you turn them until done.  Make sure that chicken is done all the way through.

I use frozen bags of chicken tenderloins.  These cost approximately $7 for 5 lbs so this is a very economical main dish.  Salsa is a staple in our house so I always have a jar open in the refrigerator.

The recipe makes 6 servings at 225 calories per serving.

Do you have any frugal lo cal recipes to share?  I will pass them along to Amelia as well.   If you have one online, I will include it in an upcoming frugal lo cal recipe post so shoot me a link.

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Is the new bill a good thing?  I have no idea.  How can you form an opinion on a bill that is over 2000 pages long?  How can you form an opinion on something that has so much mis-information floating around that it is impossible to tell fact from fiction?

My mother and I have this discussion every time we talk.  She is against health care reform.   The reasons that she cites are the exact ones that are supposedly debunked in the Top Five Lies About Obama’s Health Care Reform.  This Newsweek article explains the top 5 objections to the Health Care Reform bill.   If you believe that the bill will offer free coverage to illegal immigrants or cut benefits to the elderly, you should read this article.

On the flip side, CNN Money has an article on The 5 Key Freedoms You Will Lose.  They write that you will eventually lose the right to choose your own coverage or to choose your own doctor.   These are important choices that everyone should be able to make.

So which side is right?  Is Health Care Reform inherently evil or the best thing since sliced bread?  I don’t think that the average American can possibly make an informed decision on that.  The debate is presented by lawyers and politicians who are paid to read the 2000 page bill that has been written in legalese and then interpret it in the way that is most beneficial to their side.   I could sit down and read the bill and know as little when I finished as when I started.

What are the needs of people like me who cannot afford to pay the high costs of health insurance?     I have found various estimates on the average cost of health insurance that range from $4000 per year to $7000 per year.  This ranges from 40% of my income to 70% of my annual income.  It’s not much of a choice.  When I last checked into insurance, the monthly cost was approximately $300 per month and I am a healthy woman in her 50s.  I don’t have any pre existing conditions.  I don’t have diabetes, I have never had cancer, my heart is in great condition and while I am slightly overweight, my cholesteral is within normal limits.  I have never had high blood pressure.   My total health care costs over the last 5 years equal less than $500 and that includes doctors visits and prescriptions.

While I still view health insurance as a necessary evil, I can’t afford to pay more monthly for insurance than I would for a year of expenses.  I would like to have a basic plan for major medical that would cover my hospital bills in the event of an emergency.   I honestly don’t care if I can pick my own doctor or hospital.   I don’t expect Cadillac service on a Yugo budget but I would be happy with some affordable options for hospitalization coverage.

I realize that this article has had more questions than answers.  I think that is the general state of the health care debate now.  I seriously doubt that anyone including the Congress has a clue about the impact of the WHOLE bill.   And I think that because of the complexity of the situation, we should stop and quit trying to rush the solution.  The health care system needs reform but I believe we should be approaching it in smaller,  less complex steps instead of sweeping reform that is bound to fail.

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My biggest problem with coupons is that they are very rarely for the things that I buy on a regular basis.  We buy very little prepared or convenience foods which are usually the coupons I find.   I make biscuits for a few pennies with flour and baking soda.   A large percentage of our vegetables are from our garden.  If I want a pizza, I use homemade tomato sauce, garden vegetables and fresh cheese.

There are very few coupons for fresh meat or vegetables.  I’m sure that they are out there but I just haven’t been able to find them, at least, not often enough to make it worth the time I have to spend searching.  When I did take my coupons with me, I saved money on the food that I bought but it wasn’t food that I would normally have purchased.  So while I saved money, it was money that I normally wouldn’t have spent.

My third problem with coupons is that I don’t go shopping often enough to really spend so much time planning it. While we plan out our meals and make a grocery list,  we purchase things when they are on sale and we shop at specific stores for specific items.   One of the small local grocery stores has 5 lbs of sausage for $5, 5 lbs of bacon for $5 and 5 ls of Bologna for $5  so when we are in that town, we will stop by to stock up on those items.  We stash it in the freezer and it generally last us for a couple months.

Another store, about 25 miles in the opposite direction, has excellent buys on great quality meats.  When we are in that town, we stop and purchase as much meat as we can afford.  They run weekly sales so we might end up with 10 pounds of chicken or 4 to 5 Chuck roasts.  It may not be the most practical way to shop but it does keep our grocery costs for the two of us under $200 per month.

I am writing this for the people like me who have found very little benefit from clipping coupons.  I have often felt a little guilty for not doing a better job of it but I have finally decided that it just isn’t for me.  We all have to use the savings methods that work the best for our own situation and trying to make someone else’s method just may not work for us.  So if you save tons of money with coupons, I applaud you but I will stick to what works for me.

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Now to be fair, I knew I was going to have to have bifocals which would bump the price up to $99 for two pairs.   I have also had progressive or no line lens in the past and would prefer them to the lined bifocals.  They do not list the cost for progressive lens on the website so I figured I would ask when I got there.   And this would be where the problem started.

America’s Best was very clean and neat.  It is laid out very well and the people were very friendly.  I had made an appointment online early that morning and was a little dismayed that they had no record of my appointment when I got there.  I filled out the forms and was asked to wait.  It seems that the doctors were both out to lunch because they didn’t have any appointments scheduled.  It wasn’t a long wait and they took me back for the pre-exam.

Once the pre exam was over, I waited about 5 minutes to be seen by the doctor.  He was thorough and pleasant.  So far, so good.  After the eye exam, I was told to go out and shop for glasses.

Being on a pretty tight budget, while glasses are a necessity, they also take a pretty hefty bite out of the monthly budget.   I picked out a couple of their least expensive frames and took them to the counter.  On the counter was a placemat that explained their pricing packages or so I thought.

It was pretty simple.  I was looking at their basic package for multi focal lenses which according to the place mat included the bi focal lenses, a one year warranty, a sun or vanity tint and UV protection.  The price for two pairs of lined bi focals was listed as $99.  The price for unlined (progressive) lens was $138.  Ok, so I can live with that price.  It was $39 higher than the lined bi-focals but worth it.

The girl took the measurements and my preferences for tinting one pair as sun glasses.  She put it all in the computer and …. the grand total was $249.    So I said, wait a second, what happened to the $138???  Oh, that price is just for the lens, you still have to buy the frames.  Ummmm, that’s not what you advertised.   So I told her to go ahead and take off the progressive lens.  The total came down to $209.

Ok, so now I am getting a little angry.  I pointed out that their website advertised two pair of multi focal glasses for $99.  The girl told me that they didn’t.  She ended up calling the manager over who told me that it was because she had included the warranty and the tinting.  I pointed to the place mat with the prices and which clearly listed the warranty, and the tinting for $99 or $138.

The manager actually snatched it out of my hands and put it behind her back.  She told me that that  a package price and was just for the lenses and did not include the frames.  By now, I am more than a little angry and I specifically asked her what exactly did the advertised Two Pair for $99 include?  Was it the frames with no lenses or the lenses with no frame? She told me that I could get the tinting for $15.  So if I do the math according to what she was telling me, the frames were $49.95 each and the tinting was $15 for each pair.  The price advertised for the “package” was $99 for the lined bifocal lenses plus the 49.95 for each  for the frames would bring the total package price for the two pair of glasses to $198.90.  Without the package price, the cost would be $99 plus the $15 for the tinting for a total of $114.  This means that you are paying $84.90 for a year’s warranty.

Oh no, I could get the Two Pair for $99 without the warranty and the tint.  With Progressive lenses it would have been $199.  Well, FINALLY!!  I paid for my glasses which will be in about 7 days from now.  I must admit that I am still not sure that I didn’t get railroaded out of the progressive lenses but I did finally get the lined bifocals for the advertised price.

My problems with this are many.  Anyone who just went in for the advertised two pair would have probably gotten pressured into paying over twice as much.  I have nothing against upselling but start at the advertised price and up sell me.  Don’t try to tell me that it wasn’t what they were advertising or just upsell me without even mentioning the lower option.  The girl who waited on me didn’t even know there WAS a lower option.

I left and I am still not sure that I was charged the right price.  It’s a shame because other than the price difficulties it was a pleasant experience.  Have you tried America’s Best Contacts and Eyeglasses?   How was your experience?

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1. Calk the exterior of your home.  Chances are that if you walk around the outside of your home and look, you will find old, cracked or missing calk.  These gaps around doors, windows and corners, let cold air in and warm air out.  Calking these areas is easy and inexpensive and will save you $$ on your bill.
2. If you haven’t already switched to compact fluorescent lights, try them.  Not only do they last longer but they burn a fraction of the electricity.  They are making different styles now so you don’t have to have the spiral ones in your ceiling fans or decorative lighting.
3. Weather stripping – check the weather stripping around doors and windows.  Make sure that when your door is shut there isn’t cold air leaking in under and around them.  You can buy weather stripping and door sweeps at your local hardware store and they will help stop those cold drafts.
4. Check for Drafts.  You can use a stick of incense to check for drafts.  Simply light it and move it slowly around your walls.  (Avoid drapes and curtains) When the smoke swirls and blows, you have found a draft.  These are often found around water pipes and places where pipes or wires come from the outside.  These are generally under cabinets, in closets, etc.  You can insulate around them or use calking to stop leaks.
5. Change your Filter.  Your furnace is probably doing double time right now.  In order for it to run the most efficiently, the filters need to allow air to move through them.  Check your filter every 30 days at a minimum but during heavy usage, you might need to change it more often.
6. Don’t Heat It.  If you aren’t using it, don’t heat it.  Turn off heat or shut off vents in unused parts of the house.  We have one bedroom that we don’t use.  We keep the vent closed in that room and the door closed so that we don’t need to heat that room.
7. Insulate electric outlets and switches.  If you hold your hand up against an electric socket on an exterior wall, you will often notice a drastic difference in temperature.  You can buy foam insulating gaskets for these.  You simply take off the cover, install the gasket and screw the cover back on.  (Don’t Stuff these Full Of Insulation.  This is a fire hazard. )
8. Use Solar -  Open the drapes or blinds on your south and west facing windows during the day.  The sun will help warm your home during the day.  Close these during the evening and night to help insulate the window.
9. Turn it Down –  Turn your thermostat down during the winter.  Turn it up in the summer.  Our thermostat stays at 72 all winter.  The only time we really feel cool is when we are sitting around watching TV in the evening.  You can put on a sweater or get up and sweep the floor.  Both will warm you up.
10. Turn It Off and Unplug It – Make it a habit to turn off and then unplug small appliances.  If you add up all the small appliances in your house and combine the usage when they are in stand by mode, you will find that they use a surprisingly large amount of electricity.

Do you have any additional cheap and easy ways to save energy?  How are you keeping warm in the arctic blast?

This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.   Stop by and check out the other great posts at Darwin’s Finance.

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Get Rich Slowly says that it is more important to be happy than it is to be rich.  I so agree with this statement.   I also believe that if we were happier with what we have it would be easier to save money.  I try to spend some time each day thinking about all the things that I am thankful for and when I think about it, I am thankful for quite a bit.

J at Budgets Are Sexy writes about left over money.  He is pretty candid about what he used to do in a financial crisis.  Do you even know if you have any left over money??  Do you know what you spend your money on?

Building Credit Without Credit Cards is another one of my favorites because I often hear that used as an excuse to get credit cards.  It’s wrong.  You can also get a small personal loan at your local bank.  Make the payments on time and you will be so much better off.

It is the time of year for receiving gift cards.  Sweating the Big Stuff has some great tips for getting the most out of gift cards.

And finally, it’s time to start thinking about taxes again.  Here are some end of the year tax tips from Christian PF.

I hope you enjoy these articles and will stop by the Carnival of Personal Finance to find your favorites.

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Cash

I was reading an article at Fire Finance about the number of people who live without a bank account.  Fire Finance was stunned to find that 17 million Americans have no bank accounts.   I was not so surprised.  Having worked in various situations with low income people, it is common among them not to have a bank account.

With 13 to 17 percent of the population living at or below the Federal Poverty guidelines, it’s not surprising that few of them have checking or savings accounts.  They generally have income once a month or no regular income at all.  They cash their checks at the closest available place and what cash doesn’t go to pay the monthly living expenses, they keep the little remaining cash close at hand.

Life on A Cash Basis

While I am not one of the 17 million Americans without a bank account, we do live life on primarily a cash basis.  We have a checking account and a savings account.  Our checking account is used solely for paying monthly bills.  We do not use it for shopping at the grocery store or for gas or daily incidentals.  Our savings account is online and it is used solely for an emergency fund.  It is linked to the bank account for easy transfers in and out of checking.  We ordinarily keep a $5 balance in the checking account.

I know that we are not the norm for Americans because we pay for most things with cash,  good old American greenbacks!  We don’t use credit cards as a matter of fact, neither of us even own a credit card.  We also do not routinely use our debit card.  We do own one of those but generally, it is only used to check the balance if necessary when the bank is closed.

Like most Americans that Fire Finance classifies as underbanked, we don’t have a great deal of income.  We generally are living off of less than a thousand dollars a month.  While this is well below the poverty level, it doesn’t feel like we are ‘poor’.   I can’t think of a many things that we want that we don’t have.   I can’t actually think of many things that I had when I was earning over sixty thousand per year that I don’t have now except for bills.

While many people will find this a shockingly low income, we live quite comfortably on it most of the time.  We don’t have any real debt other than a small loan on the farm so what cash we have goes to the daily essentials of living.  Neither of us want to go into debt so we don’t even consider buying and financing a car.  Quite simply if we can’t pay for it, we don’t get it.

If there is something that we want which we can’t afford to pay for with cash, we do one of two things; we either save up for it or we  make a plan to make enough money to pay for it.  For example, we seriously need a tractor.  There are just some things that it is difficult for two people to do on a farm without one such as moving 800 lb hay bales or plowing our large garden and mowing 19 acres of pasture.

Even a small tractor is a large expense usually costing between 5,000 and 10,000 dollars so we do not have the cash on hand to purchase even a used one.   Our plan is two fold rather than getting a loan, we will save as much money as we can to put towards the tractor and we will also start selling some things to pay for the rest of it.  The final and probably hardest part is being patient.  We will wait until we have saved up enough money and then wait to find a really good deal on a used tractor before we purchase it.  While we wait, I will research the prices so that when we find one, we will know what it is worth.  I expect that it will take us a year to save enough money but if we financed it, we would be paying for it for five to seven years.

In the past we would have borrowed the money without a second thought and because of that we would have ended up not getting a very good deal.  We would not only have paid too much for the tractor, we also would have been paying interest on it for years.  Now we are forced to do our homework and so will get a better deal.  We will also have the bargaining chip of paying cash when we find it.

We got our truck the same way.  I spent months researching prices and searching online for a truck that we could both afford and that would meet our needs.  While I searched, we sold our old truck and saved enough money to purchase the newer truck.   When I found the truck of our dreams on craigslist, it was about 200 miles away and we bargained over the phone for a lower cash price.  We saved $500 off of his advertised price because we could come that same afternoon and we were bringing cash.  We saved an additional $1000 over what we had found the same truck priced for locally. We saved 8 percent by not having to pay interest on a loan.

Even smaller purchases sometimes come with a savings if you pay cash.  Several of the local gas stations give a discount on gas if you pay in cash.  It makes sense for them since merchants pay 1 – 3 percent on credit card transactions.  It’s nice of them to pass the savings along to their customers.

Even though we don’t have a lot of income, we live a pretty good life.  We grow most of our own food and we generally have enough to share with friends and family.  We don’t go out to the movies often but then we do spend quite a bit of time with our extended families playing cards or just socializing.  The food we eat is generally homegrown and fresher than store bought.  It doesn’t contain all of the pesticides and chemicals of processed foods.

There are some sacrifices when dealing only with cash.  There are times when we do without some things because we don’t have the cash to pay for them right then.  There are times when we miss a really good deal on something because we are unwilling to borrow money but overall, the money we might have saved by buying it right then we would have spent on interest on the debt.

For me, our lifestyle is based on cash.  I can see it, touch it, count it and know exactly how much we have and what we need to spend it on.  It is more of a different mindset than putting all of it in the bank and using my debit card to pay for things.  It is much more difficult for me to visualize and keep track of our finances when I used my debit card and checks to pay for things.   I have always been a visual learner but I can tell you that watching our cash dwindle physically is the best way that I have found to stay on a budget.  For the most part, we are pretty happy with what we have and don’t miss too much of what we don’t have.

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