Oh My Madison

Don’t even try...

2011-02-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

How much more tempting can a sign get? I mean, I suppose it could say, "even if you're really cold."

What's the big deal? Is it so hard to change the thermostat that it's not worth attempting?

"Too many limbs have been lost, it's better if we just leave it alone."

Shout out Dan for remembering this website and sending in this photo. Long live Madison!

You Guessed It, We’re Looking for Writers!

2010-12-13T13:52:00.001-08:00

Want to write for OMM?? We are currently looking for someone to fill that role, and get this site back on it's feet. Send an email to mail@OhMyMadison.com.

Big player, Big school, Little Moped.

2010-07-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this isn't an actual football player, but how could I NOT think of the giant football players on their tiny little mopeds while looking at this guy? If you thought John Clay was huge on the field, just picture him on this tiny little thing trying to get to class and go back to sleep. I live above several football players and I'm quite convinced they don't actually know how to walk. Evidence? Have you ever seen a football player walk? Of course not. Sure you see them run all the time, maybe jog slowly, but if they were ever need to get somewhere, like say across the street, how do you think they would get there? Easy, by riding their moped. I've even seen football players resort to riding their girlfriend's PINK moped (pictures on the way). A further investigation is underway.

Pending investigations: Whether football players can drink water without the help of an assistant coach.

Photo and article by by M. Jenkins

Tell Em Megatron!

2010-07-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Mega water. It's bad when the sewers start emptying water into the street instead of emptying water out of the street. Enjoy the view from inside my dry building.

God Bless America, and Lake Mendota

2010-07-04T06:06:00.000-07:00

This is more of a 'shout out' to the city than anything else, but come on, where could you find a place like this; a place so beautiful that a picture as colorful as harmonious and resonant as this one could be taken with a cell phone! Thank you Madison, and thank you God for such a beautiful environment to call home.

Excuse Me, Can you help me find something

2010-07-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, my bad, I guess what I needed was actually the Catalogue of Ontario Legislative Library 1912! Right, thanks for pointing that out to me UW-Madison Library system! Oh, wait, this isn't the section on graphic art and logo design? Rats. Thanks for trying Memorial Library computers.

Why do they even have this book? Who would need to know this? Who would ever come here to find this information? You never know, I suppose, there's so much information out there, it might surprise you… maybe… if you weren't ready for it.

A Friendly Reminder

2010-07-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

Ever seen on of these guys? It's a lonely tire, a tire without a care in the world… or a purpose, for that matter. To the person who hastily locked their vehicle to only it's front most appendage, I feel your pain. I had my bike stolen recently, and all they left was part of my lock that falls off every now and then. All I have to remember it is a piece of plastic. At least the owner of this unfortunate pedal disaster has the scent of rubber and the gleam of aluminum to harken their memories. Feel lucky, whoever you are, and God bless you in the attempt to recover your bike. I know I'm going to need it in order to get mine back.

Typhoon, Monsoon!!

2010-07-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

Run! Duck and cover! More rain than you can shake a stick at!

Technically, I didn't realize until I got home, but there was a Tornado warning going on at the time… remember that… a couple days ago?

I met this angry sewer cover, spitting up a jet of water like some rogue geyser. Yeah, it was raining hard. See the street in the distance? Five minutes before this picture was taken, that wasn't even visible from where I was standing. We're talking blinding rain. So much rain it actually soaked through my umbrella and started dripping down on me. This wasn't any whimsy umbrella either. My beast of an umbrella, with a double layered top to ensure against bowing in the wind, a carbon fiber rod, and spring loaded action met it's match. Oh, and so did the sewers. By the time I got back to my place, this is what our street looked like. And, just in case you were wondering, the brown fluid rushing around the cars did carry the scent of sewage.

All in all, though, the rain was quite warm, quite refreshing, and quite belligerent in it's attempt at blowing in every direction; definitely had fun today.

No Dumping

2010-06-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

"I'm thinking this dumpster is under weight, I can fix that!"

I do not know what this is, if there's some protocol I'm not familiar with, or what is going on. This cement man is emptying his cement truck into this hospital dumpster. Haha, it made me laugh, but then it made me wonder. Yep, the mixer was spinning. Yep, the trough was pointing into the dumpster. Puzzle me this one folks, help me understand.

That's the ER behind him on the right… get out of the way dude!

Poor Helpless Tree

2010-06-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

Is this what happens when ants, that would normally be living where building now stand, decide to live together? Ah! Help whoever's kitchen happens to reside next to this.

What if they were eating the tree from the roots up? Every day the tree would get shorter and shorter until it just disappeared underground. No one would even notice a thing. Of course the closest tenants would probably lose their security deposit.

As a sci-fi alternative, I could definitely see all of these ants coming out one night, forming into a giant writhing mass and then terrorizing the neighborhood, breaking into people's houses and stealing food.

Don't forget you can send in your own pictures!

Double Dip

2010-06-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's right, double trouble or double luck, you risk it all opening this cookie.

Don't get too excited before you break this bad boy open. Remember, now you've got to eat twice as much cookie. People wouldn't even take these cookies for free if there weren't messages inside.

"Got any ideas to get more people into the restaurant?"
"What about this: Free crunchy... slightly sweet crackers...with... a foreign sounding proverb inside. Oh, and then we'll teach them Chinese on the other side."
"Hmmm... not bad, but make sure everyone only gets one cookie. Otherwise it just doesn't make sense."

Ha-ha! sticking it to the man!

Good thing I got this cookie in Madison, otherwise I couldn't use it on this site.

Prepare for Epic Training

2010-06-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

What would you think if you saw this while passing an elementary school? Run and hide! Save your children! For the sake of our posterity, keep away!!

I'm kiiiiidding, Epic's helping the economy, no complaints here…

But really, stay away from our children.

Shorty Fire Burning On The Dance Floor

2010-06-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

These kids couldn't have been out of high school, but man were they tearing it up on the sidewalk. Break dancing is pretty cool, and I'm sure everyone who passed them wished they able to do what these kids were doing.

Blue pants - "Yo, Bubz I bet you can't kiss the pavement!"
Green shirt - "YO, bet I can"
[hand stand, hand stand, kiss...]
Other dude - "Woahh.., gross Bubz, you're so awesome you make me want to fall over!"

^totally terrible stereotypical dialog, I apologize^

[continued dialog]
Kid sitting on the ground - "I wish I could walk"

Pretty in Purple

2010-06-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

It's Prince meet The Italian Job. Sort of a musical heist.

I never thought purple could look good on a car. I'm still not sure. At least it's got SOUL!

I'd like to dedicate this article to... my dad... Please, dad, don't swallow that toothpick, don't choke and get splinters in your wind pipe... Purple Rain...

Don't make me cry... oh, don't make me cry... it's too much.

What Most People Think Of

2010-06-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

This detailed portrait of a bishop taking part in the sacrament hung in the hall of The Lakefront on Langdon.

Is this what most people think of when uttering the words "Catholic Church"?

As a Christian I don't know whether to laugh or cry when looking at this image.

Possible titles...
   Old Man Trying to Lick Cracker
   *Long smelly exhale - eehehhhhhaaaaaaaa.....
   My arm and tongue don't aren't in communion (cymbal crash)
   Must... Eat... Cracker... Must... Eat...

We Can Do Better

2010-06-12T23:25:00.000-07:00

Attention all Madisonians, Madisoni-ites, Badgers, and the rest of you Sconnies. I've seen countless ridiculous acts of randomness, awesomeness, and especially drunkenness in this great city. However, I'm disappointed. Why you might ask? Because no one had one upped MIT's prank on their own Great Dome by turning it into the Godzilla of R2D2 modules.

All I know is that the Great Dome is pretty weak sauce in comparison to the Wisconsin State Capitol Dome. I'm currently in negotiations with several Star Wars fans clubs, but they can only be the brains and inspiration beyond this glorious act of Nerddom(e). We are going to be in need of that one friend in your group who's a bit shifty and hopefully sneaky to figure out how to make this possible. Please contact Representative Tammy Baldwin with any of your ideas.

- sent in by MJ... this one's alive

Nude for a good cause

2010-05-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

I met this gentleman one night, on a dark street corner. His story was that he had donated his clothes to a good cause. I would have been more suspicious of his mental stability had I not just witnessed a hundred nearly-nudes running down the street minutes before.

Turns out the event was sponsored by Axe. Go figure.

Medic!

2010-05-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

There could be no more perfect a post on 'Intergalactic Star Wars Day' than this: The future has arrived, trekkies among us.

This may be the first photographic evidence ever of an 'United Federation of Planets' certified medic in Madison. If you see this person make sure to stop them and ask for a full body scan. Don't worry, you don't even have to take your clothes off and it's non-invasive. They just wave their wand and viola!

Down and Out

2010-04-26T20:50:00.000-07:00

Run little trash pieces, run for your lives! This might be your one chance to be free! Go hide somewhere, perhaps in the bushes next to an often used door, or up against the other side of someone's fence. Save yourselves from the fate that awaits you; eternity in a graveyard of rubbish.

I bet you a hundred dollars they were drunk when they knocked it over.

Musk-Rat = Fat Rat

2010-04-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Homage to the Madison Muskrat.

"Ah!!!"
"Whaaat? Honey?"
"In our front lawn! That's one fat rat!!!"

This varmint let me get in super close for a good photo with my cell phone. Then it scampered into the sewer... we were a mile from water. Two days later I saw a flat muskrat on the road. Four days later, it was gone.

Who says they're isn't wild life in downtown Madison?! Probably the guy who ran over the muskrat.

Stupid Freshman

2010-04-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

"Hey, look out the window. Are those dumpsters smoking?!" "Yeah, it look like it. Aren't those made out of metal?" "No, these ones are 'new', they're made out of plastic." "So why is it smoking?" "It looks like someone dumped their grill into it." "I'd better go get my fire extinguisher."
- completely plausible conversation by my neighbors

Yep, it melted out the bottom of the trash receptacle, and yes, my neighbors had fun using their fire extinguisher. They all took turns mocking and spraying.

*Title Disclaimer* - I don't know if the people that dumped the coals were Freshman... but they're acting like it...

NOM NOM NOM

2010-04-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

I HAZ FISH LUNCH!!

News Flash! - "Anatomically incorrect 'T-Rex' eats anatomically incorrect fish!"

"...wait a second... is this sticker politically motivate?!"

News Flash! - "Darwin denoting dino devours depiction of deity!"

Wanted: Homes for Loney, Abandoned Bikes

2010-02-23T16:15:00.000-08:00

Here goes, the first post of Beta to the Alpha...

So, there's an epidemic going on in Madtown. Innocent bikes are being abandoned by their owners, only to drown in the many inches of snow. Even here, they can be seen grasping for fresh air as they peek out of the fluffy, white snowbank. Can you help them out by offering a good home? I bet you have a tender heart for unwanted objects of transportation!

Other possibility: It snowed bikes. And we should all be terrified. Take cover during the next snowstorm. Just in case.

The Bird Is the Word

2010-02-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

Big Bird strikes again, unrelenting in his mission to no pay attention to where he craps.

Alternate Theory:

Proned Big Bird lays egg at high velocity; pro-life groups clueless. "We don't know what to think in this instance. Big Bird is a cognizant being with an intellect and emotions. Was a potential life lost with the destruction of this egg?... Thing is, we eat eggs for breakfast."

WANTED: "Big Bird"

2010-01-28T17:18:00.000-08:00

Mondo yellow bird seen soiling large areas of UW-Madison campus. Students are advised to remain vigilant and report the finding of any unusually sized feathers to Campus Police immediately. Campus Police will contact animal control, and possibly Henry Vilas Zoo, due to the fact they themselves are not authorized to deal with feathered animals.

I have no idea what the N/A is there for. Apparently the poop is not applicable to the building on which is rests.