Oh, Yes They Did!

The Prince-iples of Love

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 21:51:00 +0000

If any of you have had the pleasure (or displeasure) speaking to me to me for more than 10 seconds within this past year then you already know about my current obsession: Bollywood films. I love the big dance numbers, the colors, the songs - all the generic reasons why Westerners would like such films. I love the gentle nature of the love stories and the modesty in

leaving more than just a little to the imagination but I mostly love the films because of the one, the only Mr. Shah Rukh Khan. To me, and to many others, he is the ultimate Hindi Film star (only to be topped by respected screen legends.) As an actor he's got it all. He's talented, handsome, likable and for the most part, scandal free. In his films he's the perfect gentleman: romantic, sensitive, and caring (not to mention he looks damn good in a Kurta.) It's been about a year since I began watching his films in heavy rotation and I've noticed a great shift in the kind of men that I am attracted to because well, the men I am attracted to these days look a hell of a lot like Shah Rukh Khan. Thick dark hair, tan skin, brown eyes and of course, a big nose. I can't explain what it is about a big nose that I find attractive, there's just a certain je ne sais quoi about a big honker in the middle of someone's face. I imagine that, like Shah Rukh, men with larger noses would understand the beauty of this feature and use it as tools for romancing me during our courtship - like Shah Rukh does in his films. In lieu of kisses, he uses his nose to woo his on-screen heroines; stroking their necks with this ever-so-sexy, but not-so-subtly pronounced protrusion during romantic songs. Trust me, it's amazing.

Of course, life doesn't stop just because I want to indulge in 3-hour long movies on a regular basis. When I wasn't preoccupied with Bollywood watching, I was, like lots of ladies in their early 20s, somewhat occupied with and/or entertaining the idea of finding a boyfriend. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. The problem is, there's only one SRK so who on God's good green earth was I supposed to date now that I'd found him? I had a solution. After a year of pining away for King Khan I had pretty much come to the conclusion that my life's mission was to eithera) Go to Mumbai and make Shah Rukh fall in love with me b) Go to Mumbai and convince his wife that entering into a "sister wives" type of situation wouldn't be half bad or c) find a man who looks exactly like him and claim him for my own. C seemed like the best bet, and so it went. Anyone who looked remotely like SRK got at least an extended gaze on my behalf and everyone else was practically invisible. While trying to find an SRK look-a-like to romance me might sound amusing, it does pose some problems, namely the fact that in doing so, a single lady like myself is removing the majority of the eligible male population from consideration. But it wasn't my fault! SRK had completely ruined me for other men.Sure other guys have the potential to be nice, moderately attractive and have these little things called "personalities" (I hear they're important) but even so, they would never have SRK's passion, his sincerity or his nose! Just when I thought The Baadshah had completely skewed my expectations for male suitors, I made a great discovery. SRK was not changing my vision of the perfect man, he was simply fitting into a pre-existing mold, one that had been in place since childhood. My ideas about boys and men and what I perceived to be perfection had already been ingrained in me since I was 5 years old, thanks to the 1992 release of the Disney animated film Aladdin. That was it! I was and still am in constant search of my Aladdin - my dashing Prince in pauper's clothing (or is it the other way around?). I finally figured it out! My incessant Bollywood watching hadn't influenced by decisions about men, but my childhood favorite, my first crush, my first "hero" had. All I wanted from life (aside from money, a job, security, good health etc.) was a romantic, tan boyfriend who was not opposed to the occasional song and dance number.

For the past 19 years I had been (unbeknownst to me) in search of my Disney Prince - and let's be honest, what girl isn't? When we're young we act like it's all about the Princesses. We strive to be like them - dress like them, act like them, do our hair like them (I did mine like Jasmine's, obviously)- but the truth is that we only copy them because we believe that by doing this, we too will find a Prince. Our true focus from the very start is not on our favorite Princess but their dashing male counterpart. They are our first real idea of who men (aside from our fathers) are supposed to be. The men who will romance us, fight for us and eventually marry us (because good Princesses don't live in sin.) They are always handsome, well coiffed, seemingly tall and driven by their love for a woman with whom they have had minimal contact (I don't know about you but this is sounding very Bollywood to me). While others might go for Eric from the little Mermaid or Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty, I have always fancied myself an Aladdin girl. Unlike those other Princes, Aladdin has a little bit of everything. He's brave, resourceful, romantic and loyal. Plus he has absolutely no body hair (plus!), no nipples (not necessarily a plus or minus but the absence of said nipples makes his pecs look bigger) and a strong nose, just like mama likes. True, he's not a real Prince but the fact that he's a commoner (ok a "street rat") only makes him more endearing, relatable and adds to the feeling of excitement when he eventually does become a Prince. Who does't love a rags to riches story? An orphan to a prince is pretty impressive (so is Delhi boy to Bollywood superstar, Shah Rukh. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten you.) Simply put, Aladdin (also known as Prince Ali Ababwa) is my perfect man. He grew up poor so you know he's scrappy, he's friends with a monkey so you know he's open minded and he fell in love with Jasmine when he thought she was a beggar so you know he's not in it for the money. Of course, like all men, he lies - but I think he learned his lesson from the whole Jaffar situation and emerged a more emotionally mature young man.

We have to consider, of course, that in the film Aladdin is supposed to be from the Arabian city

of Agrabah so my deepseeded love for him cannotcompletely explain my obsession with Indian born ShahRukh Khan but considering the ambiguous nature of character's ethnicities in the film (that's a nice way of me saying that Disney wasn't necessarily going for accuracy with this one) coupled with a 5 year old American child's lack of exposure to other cultures, it all sort of makes sense. Plus look at the Sultan's palace and tell me it's not a cartoon version of the Taj Mahal. Just try and tell me!

So what' the solution to all of this? Well, there really isn't one - I just realized it was a problem, what do you expect from me? Finding a real life version of my Prince - a tan, follicle-ly blessed orphan - is virtually impossible and I've already done it once (I'm looking at you, Shah Rukh) so the chances of doing it twice are slim to none. Thanks to Disney's unrealistic depiction of young men, I can't honestly say if I'll ever find my Aladdin but if Kim Kardashian's rise to fame is any indication, guys are digging the Jasmine look (and the genetic anomaly that is responsible for her insane body proportions) - maybe I'll try and go for that and see if my luck changes. Until then I'll be practicing my speed reading skills with constant viewings of subtitled Hindi films and anxiously awaiting the future arrival of the Band Baaja Baraat DVD (starring another Aladdin look-a-like) which, according to Netflix, will be arriving in about, oh, 6 months.

Originally posted @TheCosmicKid

In Which Michael Phelps Reminds Me Why I Am A Fan

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:02:00 +0000

The swimming fandom is kind of weird place - it's part newbies, part long time fans, part actual swimmers with actual knowledge and part random blend of people who just like Michael Phelps. And even though there are these small sub-groups among fans, they have one thing in common; they are all 100% emotionally invested. One of the things I find difficult about being a swimming fan - aside from the lack of TV coverage cough cough NBC - is that when I try and explain why I am a fan I have a very difficult time putting it into words. When asked I usually just say, jokingly, that I just like triumph; an appropriate answer being that the usual end result of a good race can be described with various synonyms of the word. In general, I think that it's hard to explain why you love something or why it affects you because "love" is just a strong emotion - it's something that you feel intensely and instantly recognize when you do. To someone who has never felt passion for anything (whether it be a hobby, sport, a business venture) then it's really like trying to explain why E.T. loved Reeses Pieces so much - he just did.

Although saying "triumph" is the reason I follow the sport is meant to be somewhat of a joke, it really does ring true much of the time. For instance, the other day I watched the show -down between good ol' Michael Phelps and his trash-talking rival, Milorad Cavic (cue the theme from the Good the Bad and the Ugly) and I have to say that it ended in a pretty triumphant manner - but before we get to that I have to clear a few things up. Before watching this race, I have to admit that I wasn't exactly as riled up as I should have been - sure it made me mad as hell that Cavic was claiming he had touched first (we all saw the pictures, buddy,) that he deserved the Gold and that, if necessary, he would buy Michael a suit to even the playing field (as if the issue was that Mikey's bank account balance was running low) but I wasn't insanely excited about watching the actual race. If this had been one year ago I would be jumping out of my chair in anticipation but it just didn't feel the same as last August. For me the Olympics was truly an event. I felt on top of the world last summer (minus the times I was actually watching the race and felt the need to vomit from nervousness) and nothing else that came afterward really got me as excited, emotional, or just plain crazy as I was during August 2008. The problem is that the Olympics to us new swim fans was kind of like that first hit for an addict - and we are doomed to spend the rest of your lives chasing that same high. It wasn't until the minutes were winding down and it was actually time to watch the race that I realized how important this was to me. Sure I make fun of Michael and his Subway Sandwich eating habits but the truth is, I became a fan because of his talent, his accomplishments and the way watching him made me feel - every time he won I felt pure elation in knowing that he represented the USA and he proved to everyone that he was the best and so we were because we had him. Of course not everyone believed that we were the best, cough cough Cavic, and it was time once again for him to show everyone that we were and are the undisputed champions.

I watched the race through my fingers because watching full on seemed to painful. What if he didn't win? What would people say? What would Cavic say? Would it cause more controversy over the swimsuits? Could I stand another headache because of the controversy over the swimsuits? I didn't know. All I knew was that my heart was practically bursting out of my chest as I watched him speed ahead, then fall behind and finally come through at the end for a finish that nobody, nobody could question - a victory won by a superior athlete wearing an "inferior" swimsuit. Once he touched the wall I knew at that moment why I loved him and why I loved swimming - because I do love triumph and this was the best example I could ever wish to witness. Watching him win, I felt something I hadn't experienced since last summer - and it literally brought tears to my eyes. It was a mix of happiness, disbelief, confirmed belief and sheer admiration for the talent, determination, and the will to win - with both grace and humility. In his performance Michael not only showed Cavic but he showed us - He showed us that he really does deserve all the press and all the fans. And even if, as Michael Phelps, the guy from Baltimore, gets himself into a little puff puff trouble that causes people to question his character he shows that as Michael Phelps the athlete, nobody can question his caliber.

It's in witnessing things like this that make me realize that my true motivation for being a fan is very selfish - I am constantly being rewarded for my loyalty. When he wins, there is this feeling that comes over you and you believe that in your own small way, you helped make this moment happen. That by banging on the kitchen counter and screaming "Go! Michael, Go!" as loud as you possibly could, you made the win a little easier - that he could hear you through the TV, across continents and even under that water he was cutting through. You feel like he did it for you - that right when he seemed to have started losing steam he heard your voice screaming louder and your heart willing him to win and that's what gave him what he needed for that final push and to come through with the victory. Then of course you have to remind yourself not to be so delusional in your beliefs and to remember that this is essentially what he does for a living. But even with that small realty check you might provide for yourself, in that moment of happiness and adrenaline pumping excitement following a victory you can't bear to allow yourself to believe those more realistic thoughts - you did help and that feeling of euphoria is exactly how he meant for you to feel. When you think about it, that's pretty darn selfish - taking credit for a Gold Medal win when all you did was engage in activities that could, under any other circumstances, land you in a straight jacket. But I guess that's what it means to be a fan - party crazy, part selfish, part supportive and 100% emotionally invested.

This blog was brought to do by 'Don't Poke the Tiger' productions. Kicking major ass since 2009.

Originally posted @ The Cosmic Kid

And... Cue Training Montage

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Now that I'm in a post-Nationals and soon-to-be World Championships mind set, I've been thinking about what exactly it takes to train for these big events. Just using the word "training" leaves a heck of a lot to the imagination - plus I still don't exactly know or understand what tapering is, not to mention the fact that I'm extremely iffy of the other terms thrown around in those press conferences. I'm not sure that non-swimmers like myself I can really wrap our heads around the kind of work it takes to be as great as some of our favorites - I can barely deal with 30 minutes of cardio a day let alone multiple workouts and/or rigorous exercise. What I am sure of, however, is that if I were a swimmer some part of my training schedule would include throwing darts at a board covered by a picture of Team France - or something of the like.

Jokes aside, I was thinking the other day about that Navy SEALs training camp session the national team did a few months back. That was probably a really fun (and painful) way for the US team to break out of their usual training routine. I'm assuming that aside from being very difficult and strenuous these athletes' training schedules don't really leave much room for variation (or much fun for that matter) so it was probably a nice treat to get out in the sun, wear fatigues, and get yelled at by someone other than your coach for a change (Bob, I'm looking at you.) While I'm sure it was plenty of fun - and a fair amount of work - I can't help but think it must have also served as an unpleasant reminder that our swimmer babies don't get to do these types of things that often. Sure they get to party in Vegas (cough cough Michael Fred) and buy diamond bracelets now and again but when it's training season and everyone's getting down to business, it seems pretty intense. Clearly, I am and have been very emotionally invested in the happiness (and fashion choices) of various athletes so it bothered me a little to think that not only are they in physical pain most of the training season but they're also probably bored a lot too - there had to be a solution.

Then I thought to myself, what athletes compete in top physical condition, keep their competitive edge while also maintaining a healthy level of happiness by engaging in various physical tasks that are actually fun? The contestants on Global Guts circa 1992, of course! That's right, folks. The spandex clad, Aggro Crag climbing kids representing their nations of Global Guts had just the ticket when it came to training for major competition and for keeping their sanity. Think about it, not only did they get to compete in an assortment of strenuous yet fun events but they served as a sort of United Nations of adolescent sports - various nations coming together for a 30 minute action-packed children's program. I think that the revival of Global Guts would present a unique opportunity for for all the athletes to train together -sort of like a mini Olympics to keep the competitive spirit alive (only without the accolades and with the inclusion of tacky spandex shorts.) Maybe it sounds silly but if you really think about it, those events were pretty physically taxing - I'll bet if you ask any of the past contestants they'll tell you that until you've had to ride handle-less bicycle around a race-track a few times, you'll never truly appreciate a quad workout. Plus it has the benefit of not only dry land and aquatic work-outs but also weird, areal things that don't even make sense - but they probably do wonders for your core muscles.

Seriously. I've done some research (thanks Wikipedia!) and I've looked at Global Guts' cornucopia of events and I really think it would be a great way to keep the training fresh and it's probably, at least in some ways, safer than training with the armed forces - I can't be too sure but I'm almost positive that none of the contestants from Guts ever broke a bone on while fiming. Plus the event would provide unique ways of working those medal-winning muscles. I mean where else could you crawl through an Elastic Jungle that Wikipedia described as (and I quote): A jungle gym filled with elastic bands through which players had to walk or crawl. This was one of the few obstacles that had a definitive stategy; there was a small opening in the lower, right-hand corner of the obstacle that made tunneling through the Elastic Jungle very easy. That sounds embarrassing, agitating and fun all at the same time! And I bet all that crawling works the biceps and core muscles. Or what about the Off The Wall (RIP MJ) event? I don't know about you but jumping off a bridge in an attempt to knock as many as 50 basketballs off of a Velcro wall sounds like my kind of Saturday night. I don't know what muscles that would actually work out but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that at least the initial jump would be good for the thighs. And who could forget the true test of physical fitness and glory that is that glistening, overly glittery, jagged edged mountain, the Aggro Craig. Climbing the Aggro Craig was the final event of each episode which is triumphant in and of itself but the contestant that reached the top fastest got to take home a price of that epic rock - pieces that always looked nothing like the actual mountain and also looked a little radioactive. And in true Global Guts style, who wouldn't love to see MP, Reezy and Cullen Jones film those terribly tacky (and wonderful) introductions where they show off their cribs and needlessly yell at the camera like they're going on the Maury show for a paternity test? (Matt Grevers, you are not the father!) I, for one, would enjoy that very much.

Now even though I think this is an excellent idea and I think I've provided sufficient proof as to the benefits of allowing the athletes to compete on Global Cuts, the chances of a legitimate comeback for the show seems sort of slim at the moment. For one, I think Mike O'Malley is making some pretty good dough being the face of Time Warner Cable - starring as their generic man/husband/tv watcher in various commercials. And I have not even the slightest of clues as to wear Mo (the attractive British referee) is - I don't even know for a fact if she is still living. Plus I have a feeling there was some sordid on-set love affair between Mike and Mo that might hinder a civil reunion - you could cut that sexual tension with a knife! Anyhow, with all things considered, especially when considering the terrible programming now airing on Nick, (True Jackson VP? Seriously?) I think we definitely need this show back in our lives. That said, I think there is still a glimmer of hope that we might be able to work something out with USA Swimming and the Nickelodeon execs. We could throw in a few Subway spots and make everyone happy. What I'm trying to say is that even though this is a far fetched idea/most awesome fantasy I've ever had, if the planets were to align in my favor and this were to ever take place (with Mike O'Malley and Mo making their grand return) all my money is on Lochte to win a piece of the Aggro Crag.

Someone call Summer Sanders! She used to host "Figure It Out." Maybe she can put in a good word for me over at Nickelodeon.

Origianlly posted @ The Cosmic Kid

Second Open Letter to Nick Jonas

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:47:00 +0000

Dear Nick Jonas,

I don't know if you remember me but I wrote to you a few months ago. You know, the desperate cry from a college asking you to stop being hot. Yeah, that was me. Well, now that months have passed I feel that you've had a considerable amount of time to digest the material and I, myself, had had time to reflect on what I had written and have come to realize that perhaps my requests may have been too bold - but I have to say that in my defense, I was not only asking this as a personal favor but on behalf of the millions of women who are just one JB Meet and Greet away from a face to face session with Chris Hansen. And while I do realize the enormity of such tasks (namely reducing your hotness) might be taxing, it has become clear that, rather than even attempting to comply, you have simply chosen to ignore my cries and continue on your current path to inappropriate and illegal maturity. Though I can understand that the physiological aspect of your growth may be out of your control, there are various other aspects that contribute to the problem that can and should be halted. While the visual stimulation that your growth provides is not a problem for my eyes (because I must admit I quite enjoy it) it poses a problem for my physical and mental well being as it forces me to come to terms with an unnatural attraction to a child while also forcing me to contemplate a very real and possible future in a guarded cell.

While I appreciate the fact that you and your brothers seem to be very involved in communicating with your fans - taking photos, hosting meet and greets, general things of that nature - I can't help but notice that you have chosen to neglect the needs of your older, more mature fans in your complete refusal to answer our cries. I thought that you would have sensed the desperation in my letter but apparently it only added fuel to the jail bait fire. You see Nicholas, I have noticed the perpetuation of several problems in recent days: 1) your hair is looking better than ever 2) your wardrobe is even more impeccable (and more eclectic now with the stylish addition of various fashion forward scarves) and 3) you seem to have physically grown quite a bit -both in height and girth. I saw photos of you and your brothers at the London premier of 'Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience' and I must admit, I was beside myself. Your once cherubic face had changed. It had both thinned and filled out in the optimum places creating the illusion of age and exuded a manliness far beyond your years. If I didn't know any better I would have suspected foul play - specifically the use of growth hormones. You see, your physical maturation may be one aspect that worries me the most because now you not only look like a man - thanks to your stylist and hairdresser - but you are now well on your way to actually equaling the size of one. How am I supposed to avert my gaze when, at this point, the only tangible object that logically suggests you are the actual young age of 16 is that flimsy piece of paper called a birth certificate (which I have never seen and am still holding on out as actual legal proof.)

Oh, Nicholas, perhaps I am being too judgmental. You cannot help but to grow at the pace nature had intended for you. I've seen the movie Jack - so I understand that sometimes the growth process is sped up for certain individuals reasons that cannot be controlled (and sometimes those individuals end up looking like Robin Williams in the first grade.) But perhaps this is something of a good thing. Perhaps in this odd scenario of doomed love you are the Robin Williams to my Jennifer Lopez - and maybe when I least expect it you will bring me a ziplock filled with red gummy bears as sign of your affection. And just as Jennifer Lopez did, I shall refuse your overture of love for I know that though your body and face are deceiving, you are still but a child in the eyes of the law. A difficult yet noble thing to do. Damn you, Chris Hansen!

Anyway, getting back on task, I would like to address the issue of your new show JONAS. Now the problem here is somewhat more complex. Yes, you may have a point in saying that a woman of my age should not be watching the Disney Channel or doesn't HAVE to put on Channel 49 at exactly 8:30 pm to catch the show but it just seems to happen. I have cable, I get the Disney Channel, that's not a crime. Perhaps for your older fans, the Disney Channel should cost extra - this way when they want to watch Jonas they have to pay for it and they will actually have to come to terms with their sick obsession when their bill comes in the mail a month later - like porn addicts. But even with that, I know I would pay for it because your new television really has become a problem. While it is most likely aimed at a target audience from 7-13 years old I cannot help but find the the slapstick comedy and musical high jinks extremely amusing. More than amusing, beyond my control I find myself laughing quite loudly during the program. I also enjoy you stylish ensembles... but perhaps we should not discuss that.

I wonder sometimes, if you are purposely trying to get me attention; making subtle love calls to your older female admirers. Surely when filming the video for the song "Paranoid" you were fully aware that you had your electric guitar resting on your young hips just-so as you lifted your prematurely muscular arms above your head. I am not naive enough to think that you are that naive to have just done something like that nonchalantly - surely it was done as a little visual treat for the younger gals and a horribly mean (yet oddly delightful) tease and reminder that the older ladies like myself can look, but not touch. It's a perfectly innocently yet completely sexually suggestive gesture. What I mean is, if the tables were turned and Chris Hansen were to ask you what you were doing, you could just say you had an itch and were reaching for it (which would seem completely plausible) - but in actuality we all know that your little arm move was a little 'wink wink nudge nudge' to the other ladies. And what about the song "Don't Charge Me For the Crime"? While at face value, a fun tale of rebelliousness, is really, at its core, a song of sympathy because in your heart you too realize that my love cannot be bound by state laws and they will never truly understand our love - and by "understand" I mean legally allow it to exist.

Nicholas before I bid you a fond a dieu, I just want you to know that if loving you is wrong then I don't want to be right! But to anyone who is reading this who is not Nicholas I want you to know that I mean that more...hypothetically and I have not broken any laws because I know that it is wrong and that it means potential jail time and I'm not willing to go through that (even though I love you Nicholas, please forgive me, I'm not that strong.)

Love,
Candace

P.S. I only have eyes for you, Nicholas, especially now that Joe got that terrible haircut. K bye.

Orignally Posted @ The Cosmic Kid

Return of the Jedi

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:46:00 +0000

The bitch is back! And by "bitch" I mean "alien cyborg swimmer sent to destroy everything in it's path." And when I say "alien cyborg swimmer sent to destroy anything in its path" I mean Michael Fred Phelps - but you probably already knew that.

This weekend was host to Charlotte Ultraswim - and what a fitting title that was. This was not only a big meet for lots of our favorites - Reezy, PVK, Cullen Jones- but it marks the return of Michael Phelps to competition after a little... slip up... which cost him a 3 month suspension back in February. You know, If I didn't know better (and I do) I would have thought that Mikey planned that whole debacle out just to make us sweat for a few months. To build up the anticipation and make us question the real advantage of his weird flexibility, long torso, big feet and to let us stew over whether or not he could really come back post-partying, post-loss-of-8-pack, post-vegas and kick some real ass. Well he showed us. Shame on us for doubting! I really only have my own cynical self to blame, or maybe it's the lack of Kellogg's products in my diet that have caused a deficiency in certain vitamins that promote intellectual vigor - either one. But what this meet showed us that Michael's triumphant return to competitive swimming can really only be compared to Luke's kick ass force-using skills in Return of the Jedi, part 3 of the Star Wars Saga.

For those of you who don't know, I was way into Star Wars when I was ten. And by 'way into' I mean I had the boy version of Polly Pocket that featured a Storm Trooper helmet that housed the Death Star inside and my father pretended not to speak English at a vintage Comic Book shop as part of a scheme just to get me a real Storm Trooper Helmet as Christmas present - true story. Anyway what I'm getting at is that there are various elements to the Star Wars saga that relate to Michael Fred's career and grand return. Aside from the obvious daddy issues they share, these two have a lot in common. You see, even though I'm pretty sure Luke never took a hit off that long pipe that Jabba the Hut was smoking, he's had his fair share of problems. Michael's "rebellious" period can really only be compared to Luke's refusal to be a farmer on Tatooine. Even though Uncle Owen and Mamma Phelps raised their respective boys right, sometimes a young man must venture off on his own, leaving the next and/or home planet with 2 suns to meet new people, try new things and even make some mistakes along the way (though I blame Han Solo for most of Luke's downfall.) Alright, so maybe refusal to be a farmer isn't as bad as smoking an illegal substance but Luke might have done some other stuff too I mean, who knows what was in that blue milk they drank on Tatooine.

Aside from being a little rebellious here and there, both Luke and Michael have been able to hone their skills under the guidance of very strong mentors. I know what you're thinking, the clear choice for casting Bob Bowman would be Obi-Wan Kenobi, but I must remind you that Obi-Wan dies in the first movie and though his voice still follows Luke around but it's really not the same (plus I don't think Bowman looks like an older Ewan McGregor at all.) This is precisely why I see Bob Bowman as more of a Yoda character. You see, while Yoda is the ultimate Jedi master and teaches Luke how to really use the force, he and Luke do not always see eye to eye, in part because Yoda is about 2 feet tall, but also because Yoda uses unorthodox methods of training that a young kid like Luke really doesn't understand. Clearly Yoda knows what he's doing - he's had 900 years of Jedi training for crying out loud! Bowman, though well behind 900 years, has been at this for a long time and clearly knows how to train champions. And even though Bowman and Luke, I mean Michael, might have some screaming matches at the pool you can be damn sure that if it came down to it, after everything they've accomplished together, Mikey would carry that dude through a swamp in a little tiny back pack Yoda style.

What I'm getting at is that for both of these guys after all the existential crises, training with mentors and becoming friends with a very handsome fellow space traveler and/or swimmer with an alternative personality (Michael : Luke :: Reezy : Han) it was time to get down to business. Sure they both faltered along the way - kissing a sister, getting a DUI, losing a hand and being caught on a camera phone - both men brushed it all off in time to make a triumphant return - even though Luke was kind of annoying in the last movie and had 3 years to Michael's 3 months to train, but that's beside the point. Both revealed new weapons - Luke opting for a the new green (not blue) Light Saber and Michael debuting some new stroke that may or may not eventually stick and a death stare like nothing you've ever seen - and were ready to rock. Aside from that, the main thing they had in common is that they were focused and had the tools to kick some major ass - and Luke's decision not to kill his father who clearly deserved it can only be compared to Michael's sportsmanship (think Team France.) Hopefully after such hard work Michael had a little (and I mean little) after party, Ewok Barbecue style.

Okay so maybe those comparisons weren't exact but I think you get the general gist. Plus there's lots of little things like the fact that there isn't much diversity in space (cough cough Lando Calrissian) or in swimming or the fact that lots of former Jedi's end up being mentors and are instrumental in keeping the Jedi culture alive (cough cough Mel Stewart.)

Hey, maybe the whole robotic hand thing can explain this new straight-arm freestyle...

Originally Posted @ The Cosmic Kid

The X-Factor

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:44:00 +0000

It's May and right around this time is when the summer movie season begins. Luckily for me the first big movie to come was X-Men Origins Wolverine or Wolverine as we pedestrians have been calling it. The truth is, I happen to really love the X-Men movie franchise. When I was in High School X2 was just about the coolest/nerdiest thing to me and I watched it all the time - and by all the time I mean all. the. time. Yes I have the 2 disc DVD and I enjoy watching the special features from time to time - you have a problem with that? Didn't think so. Anyway, when I heard about this Wolverine movie coming out there was no question is my mind if I was going to see this new movie it was just a matter of when.

Before I actually got a chance to see it a few bits of bad news were pouring in. My sister alerted me that this film was not even a full 2 hours and for a comic book movie, that felt like a bit a rip off to me. I ignored that information because I chose to believe that she was misinformed and even if it was short, it wasn't enough to stop me from seeing it. Second bit of info was about the quality of the film. I was getting some mixed reviewed from people - some saying the film was great, some saying it was.. not so great - but I thought I should see for myself. Even though I was a little disappointed I felt some folks were being a bit unfair which is why I present to you 5 Reasons Why Wolverine Was Good.

Reason #1: Hugh Jackman is hot! So maybe there's some questioning of his sexuality in the media and what not but even if we don't know what the preferred sex of Hugh Jackman is, one this is for sure: Wolverine is definitely into chicks. I mean I love me some Hugh Jackman but sometimes he's so nice that I cannot find him as sexually attractive as I would like - Wolverine does not have that problem. Dude is hard - and I mean that in a completely nonsexual way. He's a badass plain and simple and sometimes us ladies (and some guys) are into that. He snarls all the time, kicks major ass and his body is ripped. Lucky for us, it seemed like they had him shirtless whenever possible so we got to see the bulging muscles in action - even though him being shirtless had nothing to do with the plot and was completely unnecessary I still quite enjoyed it. Basically what I'm saying is that if you ever found yourself in the tangles of passion with this dude he could most definitely kill you - and that's kind of sexy.

Reason #2: This is the film debut of the delectable Daniel Henney. Now for those of us in the states, Daniel Henney is a new face but the ladies of Asia have had access to his deliciousness for quite some time. Thanks to the very 'in-the-know' folks over at ONTD, I found out about this guy a few years ago but was very upset to find that he hadn't done anything in the US and thus I had to real access to his beauty. I'm not exaggerating when I talk about the perfection that is Daniel Henney - he's been a model for years and his photos are good. In X-Men he plays Agent Zero and I don't know if this has anything to do with his character or just the wardrobe assistant's probable on-set crush on him but he is looking luscious throughout the whole film donning white button down shirt (sleeves rolled up, thank you very much) and black ties. Basically he looks like the hottest lawyer you've ever seen. Daniel Henney does not disappoint in this film (minus the fact that his character doesn't have many lines) plus he knows how to handle firearms. Hot!

Reason #3: Hugh Jackman looks hot in period clothing. Okay I know this is similar to number 1 but it's got a whole different flavor. You see, Wolverine/Logan/Jimmy has the power to heal himself - so he basically lives forever. Anyway, at the beginning of the film they sort of show you all the time periods he's lived through with a montage of all the wars he's fought in - which include... well all of them really. At one point they show him fighting in some sort of civil/revolutionary/something-in-the-1800s war and I've never seen a blue frock coat look so good (yes I had to google that term.) Even though I'm pretty sure this was not historically accurate - considering the fact that he would have been like 16 in the Civil War and was born post-Revolutionary war - I was able to suspend my disbelief because the dude so looked delicious that questioning the scene's accuracy was not my top priority at the moment. He also looks good in all the other war scenes because he's sweaty, snarling and sometimes has a tank top on but this one historically inaccurate war was a winner - old fashioned hotness.

Reason #4: They fixed Hugh Jackman's hair. Okay I know this also sounds similar to numbers 1 and 3 but hear me out. In the other X-Men films they were being very true to the comic in that they made Wolverine look like he had hair that was a hybrid between a 1950s Greaser and a woman from the 1940s. While I can appreciate the fact that that choice was made in order to make the character reflect its true origin, it looked kind of weird - but Hugh Jackman totally worked it, which is hard to do. Luckily for the ladies in the move watching universe, the hairstylist on this film opted for a more subtle Wolverine look - it still goes up at the sides all wolf-like but only slightly. Giving him this more understated 'do made his character seem less cartoony, less mutant-like and less like the yellow and blue spandex-clad Wolverine from the video games I used to play, so I felt totally ok with being attracted to man who's killed a few folks and sometimes has bone claws coming out of his hands - hey, nobody's perfect.

Reason #5: They show Hugh Jackman's butt. Okay so you got me - most of these reasons have to do with Hugh Jackman but come on, they show the man's ass for crying out loud so I can't just ignore it! For anyone who has seen X2 you know that Wolverine has -these weird flashbacks of him in a science-project-looking tub - naked - getting adamantium put into his body to make him indestructible and most likely the world's biggest magnet. In this movie they actually show you how and why it happens - and like any respectable experimental Government science project he's naked. And just like the other movies suggest, he escapes from the eerie underground compound and you know, when you're in a flight from death you don't really have time to go back to your cubby and get pants. Now the thing that's so great about this is that, well you know, not every man has a butt worth looking at. Just like us ladies, some men are lacking in the booty area so I for one can appreciate and respect a man who has some junk in the trunk. I don't know what he's been eating or if he's just naturally blessed but this might be the first Australian ghetto booty to grace the silver screen. And it graces it. And graces it... for a few different scenes. Lucky us.

So maybe those reasons were a little biased and sway toward the females but hey, I'm a girl so what can you expect? Of course there's also cool explosions and some kick ass fight scenes - how can there not be when the man has effing retractable claws? Not the best of the X-Men franchise but definitely worth your dough - especially when you scam the theaters and buy senior tickets.

Originally Posted @ The Cosmic Kid

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noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:01:00 +0000

Check out our new, post-OYTD blogs:

Valeria: V-Squared

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Oh Yes They Did FINALE!

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:09:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who tuned in to the last edition of "Oh Yes They Did!" on WECB. We've had so much fun and were so thankful for everyone who has been listening. Here is the playlist from the show in case you missed it:

1. Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarles Barkley
2. Mercy - Duffy
3. I'm Into Something Good - Herman's Hermits
4. Lovely Rita - The Beatles
5. Oh My God - Mark Ronson ft. Lily Allen
6. Never Can Say Goodbye - The Jackson 5
7. Three Wishes - The Pierces
8.. The Greatest - Cat Power
9. I Don't Like Mondays - Boomtown Rats
10. Moonage Daydream - David Bowie
11. Sweet Talkin' Woman - ELO
12. Ooh La La - The Faces
13. The Swimming Song - Loudon Wainwright III

Oh em gee. This week Gossip Girl was even more fabulous than ever - meaning there was minimal Nate and even though Serena was kind of the center of the story, there was excellent Chuck/Blair interaction. You see, even though there was all this high drama involving Serena and some sketchy dude who is stealing everyone's money, the REAL story for the past few episodes has been the weird undefined relationship Chuck and Blair have going on. Nate asked Blair to move in but from Ms. Waldorf was waiting to see if things would work out with Chuck before accepting the offer. In this excruciating scene Blair basically gives chuck the opportunity to FINALLY say the words she's been waiting for and he fumbled - on purpose. Needless to say the ladies of OYTD screamed in terror when Chuck opted not to admit his love for Blair and in the process, sent her into Nathaniel's loving (and boring) arms. We can't even explain the pain, you must witness it yourselves!

People released its 100 Most beautiful list and so I decided it was time for my annual purchase of People Magazine. In general there were some pretty good picks - Halle Berry, Angelina, etc -but as usual, the photo selection was pretty horrendous. Take for instance my babies Joeseph and Nicholas Jonas. I know we're in a recession and perhaps buying the rights to photos for that many people might get costly but when you're printing picture of growing boys a year old picture looks more like it's 5 years old. The picture printed of Nick was from a period where he was legitimately prepubescent and just looking at it made me feel like I ought to be wearing a striped jumpsuit and shoes with no laces. Basically People needed to loosen up the purse strings and get a more recent picture - you can get away with stuff like that for older folks but at their age, a year makes a huge difference. We were quite pleased that both Dev Patel and Freida Pinto were included but we couldn't help but notice a huge oversight - no Gossip Girl?! Maybe they're not huge stars but Leighton Meester's beauty is simply undeniable. And we all know that Blake Lively has made an appearance on her fair share of magazine covers so it just doesn't seem to make sense. Plus those girls would probably look hell of a lot better than the girls of 90210 did in the "No Makeup" section of the mag because from what we saw no makeup is bad makeup - grab the mascara girls! Anyway, maybe People will redeem themselves next year with better photo purchases and the inclusion of some prime time beauties.

The Jonas Brothers have made the next step in world domination - cable TV. This past Saturday the boys' new show, 'Jonas', premiered on the Disney channel and even though the first episode was kind of a stinker the second successfully redeemed the soon-to-be hit series. I have to admit that even though the show is written for 13 year olds, I found it pretty darn funny. Plus their perfect skin, beautiful coiffed hair and fashion forward style makes it fun to watch. Although I think their acting could use a little work, they were much better than their debut in "Camp Rock" would have suggested - so maybe they did get that much needed acting coach. Basically I'll watch anything with the Jonas Brothers but for those of you non believers all I have to say is that this show involves music, grown boys in footsie pajamas and a little kid wearing a fake mustache - sounds like a recipe for success! Needless to say I'll be tuning in for the rest of the season. See you on Saturday, Nicholas!

So it seems that a little swimming competition is coming up pretty soon. Ultraswim in Charlotte, North Carolona is just a few days away and if you haven't seen the epic commercial courtesy of Universal Sports it looks like someone special is set to be making a cameo. That's right, none other than Michael Fred Phelps of Baltimore Maryland is going to be back in action - and as Eve and I said, it's going to be like something out of 'Return of the Jedi.' Even though we're psyched to see Aquaman back in the water a little birdy told us Mr. Phelps might just be swimming the backstroke. Now for those of you who gasped at the very thought, you must be familiar with Sir Ryan Lochte, king of the backstroke. Even though Sir Ryan S. Lochte holds the gold in the 200 back and technically didn't quality in the 100, we all know who is going to be kicking whose whose ass in the backstroke - and in case that isn't clear enough we're basically saying that Michael Fred should watch his back (no pun intended.) It's going to be a battle to the death!

In other news, we're so sad to be leaving but so grateful for everyone's support. Since we won't be on WECB anymore I figured I should let this URL go and move on to greener Blogger pastures. I started up a new blog where I'll continue to write about.. well whatever I want to plus I've transferred all the previous blogs I've written here so everything will be in one place. Check out my personal blog and Valeria's personal blog and keep checking in!

Oh Yes They Did 4/28/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:19:00 +0000

Thank to everyone who listened in today to "Oh, Yes They Did!" Here is the playlist in case you missed it:
1. Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) - Bruce Springsteen
2. Seaside Bar Song - Bruce Springsteen
3. I'm on Fire - Bruce Springsteen
4. Hounds of Love - The Futureheads
5. White Diamonds - The Friendly Fires
6. The Wrong Side - The French Kicks
7. By Tomorrow - Candie Payne
8. Two Hearts - Bruce Springsteen
9. Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar
10. Heartbeat, It's a Love Beat - The DeFranco Family
11. Can't You Hear My Heartbeat - Herman's Hermits

It was our second to last show but we weren't slackin' because we had a whole lot to talk about. First up: Gossip Girl Recap. Now to anyone who has eyes or ears, it's pretty obvious that Chuck and Blair are destined to be together - and last night's episode proved it! You see, Nathaniel (who doesn't accept Blair as she is and just wants to change her) bought himself a apartment in Murray Hill in an effort to keep his relationship with Blair alive once they go to college. Nate later asked Blair to move in but not because he was ready to move in but because Chuck PWNED him when they fought over Blair - basically telling him that he only bought the apartment to keep tabs on her (which ended up being true.) Clearly Nate is jealous because Chuck is Blair's lobster and it's really only a matter of time before their in-slumber hand clasping develops into a full blown relationship. Oh and some stuff happened with Serena that we didn't care about.

Dear sweet lord our wildest dream has come true! As you may know, Valeria and I have suspected for quite some time that the epic love of Jamal and Latika had translated into real life resulting in a love affair between Dev Patel and Freida Pinto. Even though basically every photograph of them together shows them lovingly gazing into each other's eyes, they continued to keep quiet about their relationship status. Thank god for Mothers because it was none other than Dev Patel's mommy who confirmed our new favorite celeb couple - and then a choir of angels sang and the sky opened up because this is simply the best news EVER. There are plenty of celeb couples out there but none as adorable these two. Maybe it's just my imagination getting the best of me because I'd like to believe they are as in love as Jamal and Latika but these two always look so happy together and we just plain love them! Now the thing is, Ms. Freida - at 25 years old - is showing off her cougar claws in this relationship because our Vinda-Love, Dev Patel, is only 19 years old. Now even though that's a pretty significant age difference, we're willing to let it side because they're just so cute and I think the nerd in us is totally rooting for Dev Patel in this situation. This is his first girlfriend - and what a way to start! Get, it Dev!

More couples news (but far less exciting) involving tweens - Nicholas Jonas' ex girlfriend, Selena Gomez, has apparently hooked up with Taylor Lautner (otherwise known as Jacob from Twilight). Now even though I think they look like a pretty cute couple - as evidence by some very sweet paparazzi photos - I'm going to go ahead and say that this is a downgrade. I know some cougars are already creepin' on Mr. Lautner but this lady only has cougar eyes for Nick Jonas. And if songs from Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus have taught us anything it's that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned by a Jonas Brother - those girls are ruined for life! Speaking of ruined for life, rumors have been swirling that Nick Jonas is in the process of -GASP!- getting back together with Miley "the one with all the gums" Cyrus. Though I realize that Nick Jonas will never end up with me and my concern over this situation is slightly inappropriate, I feel that it is my duty to publicly state that this is a mistake! The scratches where Miley firmly planted her pubescent claws have only recently healed and it just doesn't seem logical to go back - for him anyway, I see why she wants him back but that's a different story. Plus she wrote a really rude song about him and made their relationship and breakup public when he clearly didn't want her to - rude! Well, I suppose what happens between those two crazy kids is their business - but I think it would be wise for you to heed my warning Nicholas, the last thing you need is a gaggle of angry Hannah Montana fans storming the stage on your summer tour.

Some of you might remember that grotesque picture of Ed Westwick (otherwise known as Chuck Bass) on vacation with his lady. If you don't know what I'm talking about just try and conjure up images of unsightly chest hair and you've got the general picture. Even though Ed Westwick was looking afright in those photos, he has recently redeemed himself on video! Yes, he's clothed (which is definitely a plus) but that's the only reason he looked good. Dude is staring into the camera quite seductively and showing off some delicious facia hair. I'm not exagerating on how good he looked- notice the shoddy camera work, even SHE was impressed! The other thing about Ed that makes him super sexy in this video is that he knows just the right amount of fashion trivia to come off as man who knows how to dress as opposed to knowing so much and being so enthusiastic that we start to question whether he's a slave to fashion (or his sexuality like Chase Crawford.) For your viewing pleasure:

In other news I am SUPER excited to report that Brandon Flowers and his wife are having another son but I am also sinking into a deep depression because I will no longer see Anoop's delicious eyebrows on American idol. That's life. Also, congratulations to Donna and Isadora who won WECB shirts by answering our trivia questions during the show! Kudos, ladies!

Oh Yes They Did 4/21/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:25:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in today to Oh, Yes They Did! A big congrats to Melanie and Subuhi for answering our Zefron trivia questions and winning from free WECB t shirts courtesy of American Apparel. Here is the playlist from the show in case you missed it:

1. Edge of 17 - Stevie Nicks
2. Footloose - Kenny Loggins
3. Boys - The Beatles
4. Ladies' Choice - Zac Efron
5. Birthday - Awesome New Republic
6. Shame For You - Lily Allen
7. Sophisticated Side Pony Tail - Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
8. Rock U Now - Michael and Marisa
9. Wild Wild Life - Talking Heads
10. My Best Friend's Girl - The Cars
11. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
12. Ma-ma-ma Belle - ELO

Even though it was a rainy Tuesday, we still brought the fire! First off was a little Gossip Girl recap. Now aside from some slight antisemitism in this newest episode, it was a tad on the boring side. Serena thought she may have accidentally gotten married (what?!) and caused a big to-do about it (even though nobody cares about her because she's boring as hell) while Nathaniel Archibald attempted to break ties with his scary Godfather-esque Grandad. Unfortunately Nate and Blair have yet to break up but it seems that the Chuck/Vanessa relationship dissolved faster than it developed - so that's a plus. Hopefully sometime in the near future Blair will come to her senses and go back to her distraught lover Mr. Chuckles. Until then, Gossip Girl, until then! Oh and Jenny showed her sassy side and put The Bass in his place!

Next on the list: Zac Efron. The Zefron has recently become a favorite in the OYTD universe. The ladies of OYTD went to see '17 Again' opening day and aside from the tween screaming that occurred during the showing and almost ruined the film, we happened to enjoy it very much! Now because I am self aware I had a sneaking suspicion that I might end up with a crush on the Zefron post-viewing, in preparation for said crush I Netflixed High School Musical 3 just - this way I would be prepared if I needed a Zefron fix over the weekend. In the midst of our Zefron hysteria, Valeria came over and we watched HSM 3 together and not only did we like it, we effing loved that Disney crap! Zachary David Alexander Efron can dance his little legs off and not only is he fun to watch because he's cute but he commits to those dances - it almost excuses the homoerotic undertones of "The Boys Are Back." Almost. Anyway, since I was on a little bit of a Zefron high I decided to watch the original High School Musical (so that I would well versed in the HSM history and understand the evolution of Zefron) and all I have to say (aside from the fact that the "fake" singing voice they used for Zefron is far less enjoyable than his actual singing voice) is that he has grown up quite splendidly! He turned into a man in the past 3 years and we're excited to see how he develops in the future. Very excited. Oh and he's Jewish so the prospect of marriage is looking better and better as the days go by.

OMG y'all! Michael Phelps done wrote himself another book! And this one might actually be a hit with audiences because it's a children's book - perfectly matched with the writing ability he displayed with the valiant effort known as "No Limits: The Will to Succeed." No word on what the book is actually about but it's apparently called 'How to Eat Half a Car and Win 8 Gold Medals' even though it's listed under 'How to Train With a T.Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals' on Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites. Now I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but the illustrations are just so cute that it makes me believe the book could actually be good! I mean I don't know what the chances of this book making appearances in educational institutions are, but I'd probably buy it. Plus I get a kick out of looking at a cartoon Michael Phelps with an accentuated cartoon jaw. Let's hope the book tour involves MP reading to some babies, because if all those post-Olympic swim clinics have taught us anything, it's that Phelps with kids is darn cute! Let us also hope there's no subtle Subway advertising in this book because the last thing we need is Phelps hawking sandwiches to kids when they're trying to read - plus even though Subway serves a plethora of delicious toppings for their sandwiches, I'm pretty sure car parts aren't on the menu.

We've only got about 2 shows left so don't forget to tune in! We also have some WECB shirts we'll be giving out during our little mini-contests (that really only consist of a trivia question) during the shows so that's another reason to listen - free stuff.

Zac Efron: To Like or Not To Like?

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:05:00 +0000

So here's the thing. I know Zac Efron or The Zefron as I affectionately call him, is just about the biggest thing in Hollywood (and in the hearts of all girls ages 12-17) right now. The thing is, I keep going back and forth in whether or not I actually like him. Yes, I find him attractive - he has nice eyes, good cheekbones, stylish hair - but sometimes when he shows up at an event looking like he just poured a bottle of Crisco on his dirty blonde locks, it's kind of a turn off. Or when he wears those weird baggy skull caps type things (which only ever looked good on a 1975 Bruce Springsteen) I start to find myself liking him less. I mean we and he knows how good he looks when he's cleaned up and on camera but he seems to be fighting his natural born Disney looks - perhaps in an effort to separate himself from the squeaky clean (and always freshly showered) Troy Bolton of High School Musical. It's understandable I suppose, but I've seen two out of the three High School Musical movies and I know that there's nothing wrong with a musical theater loving basketball player.

And his personality throws me off sometimes, too. At times I see him in interviews and I think hey, he's a cool guy - he seems very laid back, very chill, very normal. And normality is something that's hard to find in Hollywood so I appreciate that he's doing that whole "small town boy" thing and keeping it real. But often times he seems so laidback that I wonder whether or not he really cares. Now of course it's none of my business whether he cares about the fact that his name is synonymous with 'Troy Bolton' or not, but I'd like think (and see) that someone who has been given such a huge opportunity and who basically has the world at his feet to seem enthusiastic about it.

Now the other problem is more of a personal one - movie roles. You see, I don't have a problem admitting that I fully enjoyed the cinematic masterpiece that was '17 Again' ( and plan on seeing it again) because it was legitimately funny and somewhat age appropriate - it even had a little non PG language thrown in to make us adults feel welcome - but I do have a bit of an issue admitting that I not only enjoyed High School Musical 3, but I freakin loved High School Musical 3. I may have even gone so far as to watched it twice in one day (there may also have been some rewinding involved.) Now of course that's not Zac Efron's fault... well actually it is Zac Efron's fault because he's the reason I watched it in the first place. Even though it's a little embarrassing to know that as a 22 year old soon-to-be college graduate, I found HSM 3 completely enthralling, I have to give the guy credit for dancing his little white boy booty off and providing the pelvic thrusts that I enjoyed so much. Sure, some of the songs were a bit cheesy (this is Disney of course) but I had to give the guy credit for pulling it off.

Lastly, his age and his image are a little conflicting and cause some confusion in the female brain. I know in my mind that he and I are the same age (I checked his IMDB page to confirm) so it's actually ok for me to be attracted to him but somewhere in the back of my mind I still have that image of a dancing Troy Bolton floating around and think he's still in High School (which is undoubtedly the fault of all of his film roles). So of course, considering all of this, I feel a little weird about really calling myself a fan. Plus I already have a crush on Nick Jonas so I've basically overdrawn from the shame bank and I have to start saving up if I want to really consider Zac Efron worthy of my love.

I guess the real deciding factor is enjoyability - in the film sense. We've already declared that HSM 3 was a big hit maybe even a little bigger than it should have been and out of the 2 and 1/2 other Zac Efron films I've watched, I have to say, I like this guy. I've gone back and forth about it but it all comes down to the fact that I legitimately enjoy watching him. It's true! I find the boy quite entertaining and I think that his range as a singer/dancer/basketball player in HSM, a singer/dancer in Hairspray and as a basketball player/dancer in 17 Again is definitely worth witnessing. Against my better judgment I have to say that I'm looking forward to see what he does in the future - even though I'm secretly pissed he's not doing 'Footloose' anymore.

Oh, Yes They Did! 4/14/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:11:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to "Oh, Yes They Did!" on Tuesday. Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. I Ran (So Far Away) - Flock of Seagulls
2. Take On Me - A-ha
3. Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds
4. Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths
5. Rio - Duran Duran
6. Love Vigilantes - New Order
7. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
8. Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen
9. Mexican Radio - Wall of Voodoo
10. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles

Another exciting show over at WECB. First order a business - Slumdog news. Now, as may of you may know, Valeria and I have been completely obsessed with the Oscar Winning film (and it's adorable young star, Dev Patel) so you can imagine our excitement when we found out that not only was the DVD coming out at the end of March but it's chocked full of special features. Luckily for me (but not the DVD distribution business) my sister burned a copy for me so I wouldn't have to spend even more money at Best Buy. Unfortunately, the copy I received did not have any special features except for a couple of weird movie trailers. I figured that maybe somewhere in the burning process she just burned those special features right off! So needless to say I spent the $15 to get myself a real, shelved copy of the disc. Low and behold.... no special features. Being the resourceful woman I am I googled "Slumdog Millionaire special features" and as it turns out I was not alone. You see, Fox had this great idea of making all rental versions void of special features so folks like me would actually buy the thing but they made a little boo-boo and accidentally sent out some of these bad boys to retailers. They have, however, created a site and hotline that angry consumers like myself can call in order to get a replacement disc - just be prepared to feel like you're on 'Millionaire' because there's a questionaire attached to make sure you're not a fraud!

Phelps news! Well not the Phelps you're thinking of. Debbie Phelps (affectionately known as 'Mama Phelps') wrote a book! Now we're giving her the benefit of a doubt as an educator and... a human being and assuming that her book will be written at a slightly higher reading level than that of her son, Olympic golden boy Michael Phelps. I got the chance to see Mama Phelps do a few interviews and although I felt like I was being lectured out by a talk-show host on qualudes, I happen to like this woman - she seems to have a good head on her shoulder and I wouldn't be surprised if she's dispensed some good advice in her day. And ignoring the fact that the cover of the book is basically a stock photo from the post-Olympic glory days, it might be pretty good. The only thing I was disappointed with was some alleged behavior exhibited by Michael. You see, when Mama was on Larry King he read her an article published in the New York Post that described Phelps' frat boy antics - I don't remember much but I distinctly remember "drinking vodka straight out of the bottle" being mentioned multiple times. Now of course at his age Mama Phelps can only do so much to control her boy and we don't know if this actually occurred but if it did all I have to say is -shame on you, Michael! I don't care if you want to do Jell-O shots on your spare time but could you perhaps take a break when you're mother is on her freakin book tour? We've learned the hard way that wherever you go people are watching (and taking pictures with their camera phones) so it's not like we won't find out. Be a good boy and let mommy publicize her book.

It pains me so to bring this up but I feel that I must. None other than Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen of Longbranch New Jersey has found himself in a bit of a scandal. According to published reports the Boss has been named in a divorce case as one of the reasons for the couple deciding to split. You read that right, some... pedestrian has accused my man of having an affair with his wife. Even though the allegation itself is upsetting, as an avid Springsteen fan and an admirer of the epic love between The Boss and his wife - I refuse to believe it! Bruce and Patti are ONE. TRUE. PAIR! The only couple who, to my eyes, has ever seemed more in love was Bruce and Little Steven of the E Street Band - so I think we're safe. People have been throwing around the fact that Bruce and Patti (technically) hooked up when Bruce was married to his first wife Julianne Philips. While I would NEVER condone a man stepping out on his wife, I think the fact that this transgression resulted in an 18 year marriage and 3 children says something. Besides, the person making the allegation is who? Oh that's right, someone who doesn't matter - these are but the ramblings of a jealous man! The "other woman" has also denied the affair which leads me to believe it's all lies because if I met Bruce at a gym and hooked up with him, I'd tell everyone! But that's just me.

Oh Yes They Did! 4/7/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:34:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to "Oh, Yes They Did!" today! Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Four Winds - The Killers (Bright Eyes cover)
2. Ceremony - New Order
3. Don't Ever Think (Too Much) - The Zutons
4. You Made Me Like It - 1990s
5. I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen
6. Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
7. Burning For You - Blue Oyster Cult
8. We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
9. Your Love - The Outfield
10. Spaceman - The Killers

This Tuesday afternoon was even more fabulous than usual because we had guest Alex Miranda in the studio chatting with us on the show. Alex is not only totally faboosh, but he happens to be quite intelligent as well, check out his blog here.

So, topic of discussion for today was hair of the ginger variety. Since the release of the trailer for the film Cherry Bomb, we've become aware of the fact that little Ruper Grint aka Ronald Weesley has grown up quite splendidly. Seeing little Ronald in an adult role made us wonder - why don't gingers get more love? Valeria definitely appreciates the firey locks of Mr. Grint so why doesn't everyone else? Personally I've never been a huge fan of the red heads but there are a select few that I enjoy. Take for instance Mr. Charlie Waller of the Rumble Strips - he's a personal favorite. Charlie has a nice thick head of deep red hair and I find him very attractive. Sure it might help that he's in a awesome band but I happen to think that part of his charm lies in his boyish good looks (which are complimented by the hair) and incomprehensible speech pattern. Even though all of us seemed to be in agreement that the darker locks were more preferable, we still had some love for a select few blondies and red heads. We like to think that we're equal opportunity lovers.

So as many of you know, I am a HUGE Killers fan. This weekend some big news in the Killers fandom finally broke. You see Brandon Flowers and his wife had a baby boy in July of 2007 but aside from one very old picture, we had no actualy proof that this baby existed. It almost seemed as if we imagined the birth of this child and without further evidence, soon forgot it. But the Gods of Rock have shown light upon us and provided photographic proof of his existence! In the April issue of Blackbook Magazine Brandon posed with his son for a photo and I think it's safe to say that just about everyone within the Killers fandom is either aww-ing themselves into a stupor or attempting to get a baby for themselves. I mean even though half of his face is cut off and he's being held in an awkward position, we can tell he's a cutie! Seeing Brandon with his adorable son made us think - who are our favorite celebrity babies? My personal favorite (aside from baby Flowers) is Kingston, the spawn of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Not only does he have a cool name but the kid has been spotted wearing a cape - you don't get any cooler than that. Valeria chose the classy route with Shiloh Jolie-Pitt - a baby that will undoubtedly grow to be more attractive than 97% of the population. Other popular celeb spawns at OYTD were Ava and Deacon, the result of the former super couple of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe. While it's too difficult to discuss the dissolution of that relationship, we think it's quite cute (and a little creepy) that each kid look just like the parent of their respective sex. Just good genes, I guess.

One of the biggest news stories of this past week has been the Obamas globe-trotting. Now here at OYTD what we really care about is whether or not Michelle was workin' it fashion wise, and we have to say she was looking pretty damn fierce at most events. Aside from one very strange argyle sweater, everything looked very well put together and extremely elegant - we wouldn't expect anything less from our lovely first lady. Now even though we love just about everything miss Obama does, it doesn't mean she hasn't got some haters. Apparently she got some flack for wearing a cardigan when going to meet the Queen because it came off as too casual. Over here at OYTD we thought her outfit was beautiful and figured that she was just covering up because last time she showed off her beautifully sculpted arms, she caused quite a stir with the non-exercising American public. Now maybe wearing a cardigan to meet the Queen is a little understated but considering what the actual Queen was wearing, we think she looked just fine, thank you very much! On another note, is it just us or did it seem like the Obamas were the life of the party?! Every channel I turned to all I saw with Obama hugging everyone and laughing. I mean I realize these are very important men in the world but it looked like once Barack came into the room they were just about ready to throw a kegger with this guy. That's Obama for you. Making American cool again one hug at a time.

Oh Yes They Did! 3/31/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:44:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to "Oh Yes They Did!" Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Chainsaw - Daniel Merriweather
2. Pistols of Fire (Mark Ronson Remix) - Kings of Leon
3. O...Saya - A.R. Rahman ft. MIA
4. Ring Ringa - A.R. Rahman
5. You Never Give Me Your Money - The Beatles
6. A Well Respected Man - The Kinks
7. Mardy Bum - Arctic Monkeys
8. Before I Fall to Pieces - Razorlight
9. Jersey Thursday - Donovan
10. Piazza New York Catcher - Belle and Sebastian
11. Here Comes My Baby - Cat Stevens
12. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She & Him

Another Gossip Girl update! So after last week's episode we got a taste of what might be in store for the future of Chuck and Blair. After declaring Nate a trifling hoe, we were just itching to see what developed between him and Ms. Waldorf. After a week of anticipation.... nothing really happened. Blair was all up on that and he wasn't really feeling it. And although we find it ridiculous that someone would refuse anyone as beautiful as miss Blair, we were relieved. Well, we were relieved for about 10 minutes before Nate (the Upper Eat Side trifling hoe) decided to change his mind and romance Blair in central park! Even though we're reeling from this very disturbing development, this horrid coupling made way for another new pair - Chuck and Vanessa (who just happen to be real life lovahs.) Valeria is a fan of this new union but Candace is still on the fence. We'll just have to wait and see develops in the coming weeks!

What would a Tuesday be without an age inappropriate discussion of the goingson in the world of the Jonas Brothers? As many of you may know, Mr. Nicholas Jonas dated none other than teen queen Miley Cyrus for a significant amount of time and was the inspiration for her post-breakup song "7 Things I Hate About You." The song is pretty mean spirited but I can't blame the girl, if I got dumped by Nick I'd be pretty devastated too. Apparently dating an adult has calmed Miley down because she and Nicholas are reportedly getting a bit closer. Not only were there pictures of them chatting at the Kid's Choice Awards but rumors are swirling that the two have been calling and texting each other. Now this may seem like nothing to adults like you and I, but in the pre-pubescent world texting can be very intimate. After doing a little analysis of their body language we have decided that Nick, though seemingly polite, does not want anything to do with that so Miley needs to step and spend her time texting her old man boyfriend. In other Jonas news, Joe got himself a really bad haircut. Normally, I wouldn't say that hair changes are newsworthy but this could just not be ignored. Putting aside my love for Nicholas, I tend to find young Joseph attractive and one of the main traits I enjoy happens to be that luscious, voluminous thick head of dark hair. Now usually I enjoy when Joe gives the flat iron a break and wears his hair au natural but this particular styling was quite troubling to me because it could really only be compared to hair previously worn by Anita from West Side Story and myself at age 3. Judging from the reaction of various people who have witnessed this new hair, I'm going to go ahead and assume that Joe will not be duplicating this look any time soon. I can't be too harsh because hey, everyone's allowed a few bad hair days - but don't push it Joseph, girls' hearts are very fickle!

We could never get through a full episode without mentioning some swimmers. Thanks to the valiant efforts of Gold Medal Mel, we were presented with a lovely new video featuring none other than facebook-friendship-evading Matt Grevers. After viewing this video, Candace came to terms with the fact that she has a full fledged crush on the Gentle Giant and we surmise that this may be the root cause of her hurt due to the lack of friendship (in the facebook sense.) Even though the declaration of the crush may be new, our admiration and love for Matt Grevers is not. After we met him (even though we didn't know who he was at the time) we thought he was just about as cool a person you could find and judging from various other media released post-meeting, we think we're right. Plus he seems to posess a talent many of our other swimmers loves lack - he can dress well! If GMM's video is any evidence, Matty Grevers knows what looks good and he's workin' it - snaps for that. Though we're still unsure as to what his swimming gang affiliation might be, we still plan on spreading the Grevers love.

In light of recent events (which have been resolved for the most part) I would just like to say that the ladies of the Daily Reezy are all linked by a mutual love of the man known as Ryan Steven Lochte. So let us band together in our efforts to spread the Gospel of Lochte. Go out into the world my children and spread the Reezy love! May your grills be ever-shining and your Mountain Dew be ever-flowing.

When You're A Jet...

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:31:00 +0000

So that whole West Side Story analogy (Ryan:Bernardo :: Michael:Riff) seems like it's taken off. We've already established that the Phans are the Jets and the Lochte lovers are the Sharks but folks have been claiming other swimmers to their respective gangs, so I think the criteria for gang affiliation needs to be clarified a bit. What exactly does it take for someone to be a Shark? What does it mean to be a Jet? The more I think about this movie and how those ballet dancing gang members relate to our swimming fandoms, it gets more complex. Luckily, I was slightly obsessed with this film in 7th grade so I think I can break it down just a bit based on my experience of watching this film just about everyday for 3 months and starring in a classroom performance of "Officer Krupke" at Wagner middle school. So taking into account what I've gathered from the film the following are my suggestions for claiming/recruiting other swimmers to the appropriate gang:
Criteria number one: personality. You see, the Sharks were just plain cool. I don't know about anyone else but when I was growing up I always thought the Sharks were way cooler than the Jets - I mean Riff if great and all but the other guys are a little lame (except for Ice, he was awesome.) The main thing that made the Sharks so cool was that they were quiet; they weren't showy about their badassery, they just walked around in their purple, red and black clothes and looked the part. This may have been due to the fact that they weren't really given any lines, but I think that just added to their mistique. So how does this relate to swimming? Well I would go as far to say that when we're going to look at personalities, someone like Jason Lezak would be a Shark and Gary Hall would be a Jet. Jason Lezak is clearly a badass but he's quiet about it - like a Shark. Yeah, he won that relay. No Michael wouldn't have won 8 golds without him. He knows, he just doesn't talk about it. On the other hand, Gary Hall is a badass and he wants everyone to know it - he wears capes for crying out loud. That is very Jet-like behavior. Makes perfect sense to me.

Something that must be considered when choosing the appropriate gang is how well established each swimmer is (this may or may not interfere with other criteria but we can discuss that later.) Clearly the Sharks are the new kids in town- I mean they moved to the neighborhood (and to America) pretty recently so they're still adjusting to everything that's going on around them. This is one of the main reasons why Reezy was assigned the role of Bernardo in the first place - Michael had cemented his role in the swimming world (like Riff being part of the neighborhood for an unknown but presumably long period of time) while Ryan was coming onto the scene (like Bernardo moving into the neighborhood and being super hot in his red and black outfits, ballet dancing in converse.) So by this rule the Sharks would claim up-and-coming swimmers like Nathan Adrian and Nick Thoman. To those of us still learning about the swimming world, they're the "new" kids in town and therefore associated with the Sharks. Now of course this causes conflict with our man Lezak who is not new by any means but rather a very well established swimmer - I would say that in cases like Lezak's simply use the principle of subjective utility.

Another very important criteria is sheer affiliation. Gangs (at least in West Side Story) are, in part, about community. The Jets have been buddies for years - Riff and Tony grew up together!. All the guys are from the neighborhood and started the gang to protect their turf, so to speak. The Sharks started their gang because they all moved into the neighborhood together and share a community - they operate as a unit. They even live in the same building! So according to this rule someone like Erik Vendt would automatically be named a Jet because Michael Fred is his boy and I'm sure if he had to choose himself, he'd be on Mikey's side anyway. This rule also applies to Cullen Jones who is not only a Shark on the basis of his personality (that whole quiet confidence thing) but also on the basis of his friendship with Reezy - so there's definitely Shark affiliation there. Plus I think he's look just splendid in red and black.

As you can see, each gang has a particular feel. Some of the distinctions between each are not so clear cut, so use your best judgment went recruiting. Oh and for all the other roles, I'm still working on proper assignment but I think that a safe bet would be to say that Bob Bowman is Officer Krupke.

Oh, Yes They Did! 3/24/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:34:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who tuned in to "Oh, Yes They Did!" today. Here's the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
2. Dedicated Follower of Fashion - The Kinks
3. Headlights - Sean Lennon
4. Microphone - Coconut Records
5. Sherry Darling - Bruce Springsteen
6. Goodnight Goodnight - Hot Hot Heat
7. Just - Mark Ronson ft. Alex Greenwald
8. Bones - The Killers
9. This Winter I Retire - Said The Whale
10. Getting Better - The Beatles

It's Tuesday which means yesterday was Monday which means Gossip Girl was on which means we were glued to our television sets at precisely 8:00pm EST. I have to say, I wasn't always a fan of this show but at a certain point in time I got sucked in by the good fashion and bad storylines - now I'm hooked! Without going into the nitty gritty and intricacies of this show, we can safely say that we're pretty upset about the fact that cosmos of the Gossip Girl universe seem to be keeping Chuck and Blaire apart when they are clearly meant for each other! Though we're still recovering from the shock of seeing Miss Blaire in the arms of none other than ex-love Nathaniel, we're kind of psyced about the prospect of Chuckles conjuring up an Upper East Side ass whooping with Nate's name on it. Hey, the more story lines that don't involve Serena the better. Though we love the characters of Gossip Girl, we also love the actors and enjoy viewing candid pictures of them from time to time. Well we did enjoy it until Valeria found these horrendous shots of Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr (aka Chuck and Vanessa) on the beach somewhere. Unfortunately what we learned from these pictures is that the clothes make the man - and for him, the more clothes the better. Not that I don't like to see a man with his shirt off but considering the only men I've seen nearly naked have been Olympic swimmers, Ed Westick was not measuring up. I'm sure the fact that he looked like an extra from the Twilight movie didn't help the situation but neither did the patch of fur that found a home on his chest. I think I'll stick to Gossip Girl for my dose of Ed Westwick from now on, thanks.

So ever since we (and most of the US population) became obsessed with Slumdog Millionaire started it seems that Bollywood and Bollywood references have been everywhere . A friend of mine who is very familiar with various Bollywood films suggested I check out a movie called Kismat Konnection as an initiation into the genre (for lack of a better word.) Even though the movie was about 3 hours long (which I was not expecting) and split into 16 somehwat blurry parts on youtube, I absolutely loved it and I found a new lovah in the process - Mr. Shahid Kapoor. I have to admit, he's so delicious that he might just be nudging Dev Patel over and taking his spot as my Vinda-Love. Not that I'm into this kind of thing or anything but this dude has some moves on him. I Youtubed some of his live performances and once I got over the terrible late 90s aesthetic, I was into it. Now even though I am currently in love with Mr. Kapoor and fully enjoyed the film I was a little confused by one particular portion of the movie. I was familiar with the Bollywood stereotype - random dance breaks that are completely unrelated to the plotline etc- but I didn't think it would actually happen in the movie I was watching. I mean most of the songs served as some sort of plot device and helped movie the story along but this one song... just didn't make sense. In the middle of this movie it literally cut from a normal scene to something that seemed to be something similar to a Ricky Martin music video - which had little to nothing to do with the story. Though I was a little confused at first, Shahid Kapoor is so hot I really didn't care. Check out the random dance break aka Aai Papi from the movie Kismat Konnection here:

In light on a certain incident no ONTD_O, I got to thinking about the different fandoms in the swimming world. Although there definitely no war going on, sometimes I feel a bit of resentment between the Phelps Phans and the Reezy fans. It's never blatanly stated but it underlies certain exchanges. For instance, no love for the Reezy posts on ONTD_O? Or anger caused by enthusiastic Reezy fans talking about the backstroke death match (that may or may not occur in the near future) between our boys. Generally we get along pretty well but I can't help but think if we had to choose sides it could get ugly - like a Sharks vs. Jets kind of situation (minus the amazing score and ballet dancing.) I mean UltraSwim is coming up pretty soon with trials soon to follow and to be quite honest, if Mikey were to go head to head with Ryan I'd have to root for my boy Reezy. The truth is, most of dabble in both - a little Phelps one day, a little Lochte the next - but we always lean toward one and with all these competitions coming up our loyalty is going to be tested. And don't try that "impartial" thing with me because when ballet dancing gangs are involved, you better choose one side for your own protection! I've already declared that in this West Side Story analogy, Reezy would be Bernardo because he's got that Latin flavor and is just plain cool. Plus he's kind of the new kid on the block in terms of popularity (outside of the swim world) - kind of like Bernardo and his crew being new in the neighborhood. Also it means that I can wear he cool colors like red and purple as opposed to ugly mustard tones that the Jets wore.

Last topic on the list is the must loved show Jon and Kate Plus 8. Now I have to admit I haven't seen an awful lot of this show so I don't really know what's going on but maybe I would watch more if the few episodes I did see didn't involve Kate insulting Jon 50% of the time! She is so mean to him it hurts my soul. I heard some rumors that he was messing around behind her back (rumors which I hope aren't true) and I am never one to say that is a woman's fault if her husband strays but she is making it tough to stay in that house! I also heard through the grapevine that Jon didn't want to get married or have kids when she did but she worked her womanly magic and made it happen. Sure you can't force someone to do what you want but women have ways. I know I'm being biased but I just feel bad for the guy - he seems like a good dad and she takes what little manhood he has left by barraging him with insults. Kate just needs to loosen up cause she has some cute kids and a cute husband! And someone get that woman a babysitter!

We like it, We Love It We, Want More of It!

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:21:00 +0000

I believe it was just a few days ago when we got wind of the news that the USA's finest were going to training with another group of the USA's finest. That's right folks, the good old Nation Team was headed off to train with the hard core, no jokes, serious business Navy SEALs. Thanks to a well known blogging swimmer that goes by the initials GWG, we got word of this intriguing news and our fangirl brains were already abuzz with excitement (cue the Officer and a Gentleman dream sequence, please.)

Well the Gods of Swimming goodness (and internet social networking sites) have shown light upon us and have granted us some wonderful, wonderful images. Now I should probably preface this by saying the only thing I might love slightly more than seeing a beautiful man in a Speedo is seeing a beautiful man in uniform - or something closely resembling one. So imagine my surprise when mine eyes got a peek at Mr. Michael Phelps and Mr. Nick Thoman in some Navy SEALs style, manly man Fatigues. My reaction might have been something that can only be described as resembling those occurrences in oversexualized cartoons when someone's eyes pop out of their heads only to be forcefully pulled back into their skull by some rubberband-esque part of the anatomy I have yet to discover. That said, after seeing this photo I had to wonder: why exactly are they called "Fatigues"? Because after I got a glimpse of these two wearing them I was wide awake, thank you very much. This was just a lovely, harmonious blend of man - what's manlier than a bunch of dudes hanging out together and engaging in actives that can only be successfully accomplished by exhibiting brute strength couples with plentiful amounts of effortful grunts? It was like a beautiful, Olympic, aquatic version of Platoon (only less scary, where nobody dies and without Johnny Depp.) I mean could anything be better than imagining that underneath that testosterone-laced military garb lie the beautiful not-yet-shaven swimming physiques that we've come to love so much and that, once disrobed will be donning swimsuits that expose little less than what seems customary at a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? I think not.

Also, not that the idea of Mr. Bob Bowman (trainer-extraordinaire and maestro of pain) yelling at Michael Fred over his pre-dive arm twirling isn't emotionally stirring (because I've gotten a kick out of it from time to time) but the possibility that perhaps some very frightening man with a loud voice, high pain tolerance and strange choice of hat (otherwise known as a Sergeant) made Michael Fred his bitch for a few minutes just because he could, is pretty damn exciting. Maybe it's the masochist in me or the fact that I grew up in fear of the Silva Death Stare but the more I think about it, the more I really like that idea. Because let's face it, in every good war movie there's always that one You're in the army now, bitch! moment and in my mind, there was one of those at this camp and Michael was at the receiving end. Ok so this was technically the Navy but I'm sure it happens there too. I mean, have you seen an Officer and a Gentleman? Richard Gere was messed up and Lou Gossett Jr was not about to let him get away with anything! Dude was scary!

As much fun as it is to think about our swimmer babies roughing it in the Navy and throwing their 6 foot-plus frames over obstacle courses, let's hope they didn't do any major damage. I mean even though they're clearly no strangers to physical exertion and probably kept up with the best of them, this thing called "land" that us mortals have to deal with everyday is very different from the Aquatic environment our babies are used to - not very friendly on the joints. On that note, best wishes to Ms. Megan Jendrick who sustained a bit of an injury during the training - cause she's fierce and was showin' those boys how it's done! Speedy recovery!

Oh and just for fun:

Oh, Yes They Did! 3/17/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:04:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to "Oh Yes They Did!" Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Toxic - Britney Spears
2. New York Groove - Hello
3. Call Me - Blondie
4. Forget About What I Said - The Killers
5. Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat
6. The End Has No End - The Strokes
7. Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
8. Birthday - The Beatles (dedicated to a certain GMM offspring who had a birthday this past weekend)
9. Tomorrow Never Knows - Bruce Springsteen
10. Two of Us - The Beatles

It's St. Patty's day at OYTD and while we weren't getting drunk on alcohol we were intoxicated from all the celebrity fodder! Lucky for us, we had a week off so it gave us some time to collect some wonderful swimmer news. First off, Michael Fred's interview with Matty Matt Lauer. Now lord knows I love this boy to death but this interview was a stinker. I mean it's already been about 6 weeks since the news broke about the infamous picture so maybe I'm a bit desensitized to anything regarding this situation but it just seemed like this interview was pointless. No new information was revealed, questions weren't really answered and Michael was wearing some ugly shoes without socks (and you all know how I feel about the socks!) Maybe my standards were just too high because I sort of went in thinking that unless the interview included a) man tears or b) a reason for me to bring out the Kleenex, it wasn't going to be too great. Also, Michael's affect seemed to be a little off. While I can understand why he might be defensive because,after all, people were freaking out over something most people his age have done or do regularly, I thought he could have really used the appearance as an opportunity to remind everyone why they were all obsessed with him in the first place - and he didn't seemed to do it. I can't blame the failure of the interview on him though because at the very least, he was playing to the female fans - wearing a very snug fitting shirt (which was greatly appreciated.) Plus the interview seemed to edited pretty poorly - there were various times where it seemed fairly obvious that his sentences were cut off, plus each version of the interview seemed to have different content so I feel like I never got the "full interview" that I was promised. Lastly, I know my television and considering the fact that Michael segment was the first thing they showed on Dateline, they must have known it wasn't that good - they usually save the best stuff for last. The only interesting thing about the interview was that Michael said he went through what I like to call a quarter-life crisis and questioned his motivation to keep swimming. I suspect he decided to keep doing it because none other than Batman basically asked him to keep doing it. Wise choice Michael - you don't want to make Christian Bale angry.

In related news, FINA handed down some official rules regarding swimsuits. We printed out the rules, read them over and have to say -there's a lot of words in there and a lot of references to buoyancy. Basically what we're getting at is that we don't really understand what these rules mean, so we decided to make up our own rule - go back to the little Ryan Lochte style and level the playing field. I mean the whole LZR Racer thing was fun while it lasted but the true measure of a swimmer is how well they can perform in wearing as little as possible - and although the LZR Racers are pretty thin, they do not provide the same visual stimulation as the old school Speedo. Plus at the end of the day swimming should be about the swimmers, not the suits. In all honesty, sometimes I wonder how much the suits really affect their ability and how much is really mental, you know like those old school Reebok Air shoes with the pump - did the "air" you were pumping into your shoes really make a difference or was the fact that you felt like a badass in your sweet sneakers make a difference? Just an aside, but one of the FINA rules kind of freaked me out - under "Construction" it said: Any system providing external stimulation or influence of any form (e.g. pain reduction, chemical/medical substance release, electro-stimulation, or others) is prohibited. Um, I don't know what's going on in your swimsuits but I will be having none of your electro-stimulation, thank you every much!

Believe it or not, sometimes we like to look at pretty people who aren't Ryan Lochte. Even though it's been a while, I used to be a pretty big fan of "America's Next Top Model" or as we over here at OYTD like to call it "The Tyra Show;" because let's face it, the show is about her and how much better she is at modeling than all those girls. Apparently she's a LOT better than all of them because we could not think of a single winner of that show that has gone on to do anything particularly interesting. I think I saw Miss Danielle, winner of cycle 6, in a Sears catalog (or something equally as pedestrian.) It's really a shame because they had some girls who seemed pretty fierce - my personal favorite being Naima. Where is she? Where is she?! She had some great photos during her season and I really expected a lot of good things from her. Last I saw of her she was in an ONTD post where it looked like she might have been engaging in some questionable behavior. Maybe this is why models are so thin - if you can't get a job you can't buy food!

In other news, it seems that our podcast server is having some technical difficulties at the moment. We'll keep you updated on the situation.

West Philadelphia Born and Raised

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:06:00 +0000

Ch-check it out. As some of you may have noticed, Speedo USA has a lovely fanpage up on Facebook. I've recently joined up and I have to say I am enjoying the visuals (clearly) and some of the comments on the wall. Speedo athletes like Natalie Coughlin and Katie Hoff have left some comments and Reezy's said a few nice words (most of them being 'jeah') which I think is pretty cool but my favorite thing about the page is getting to see some new images of our favorite athletes dressed in our favorite way - in brightly colored, snugly fitted swimwear.

Take for instance Ryan Lochte's new Speedo pictures. As I've sad before, once I got over my temporary loss of vision after looking at the insanely bright collection of Speedos that they call "flipturns," I actually began to enjoy them. I mean let's be honest with ourselves, if a dude like Ryan Lochte is in the vacinity and he's wearing a Speedo I'm going to be looking in in his a direction anyway - and in a very particular direction (if you know what I mean) - so they might as well print something fun on it to make the experience more interesting for both of us. The creation of the flipturn just shows that Speedo finally figured out the fact that, yeah, we're looking and we're probably not hiding it very well. From what I can tell, it seems that the basic idea behind the flipturn is, aside from being a more "fashionable" form of swimwear, it's a device to invite a more obvious and longer gaze. I mean the prints are pretty intricate so you'd really have to get a good look at them to know what's on there. Maybe they're trying to help us out, you know give us an excuse in case we ever got caught checking out the merchandise. So if someone like Ryan ever noticed you staring at their...Speedo... (with drool undoubtedly coming out of your mouth) you could just tell them you were simply fascinated by the print on his bright pink swimwear and were attempting to decipher whether it was a newt or a salamander that was printed ever so brightly on his butt. Hey, if Speedo is ok with the fact that when I'm looking I have exactly 0% discretion, then I am glad to be a an official Facebook fan!

Now to the real issues. Even before I saw Ryan's pictures on the Speedo fanpage, I saw them thanks to the lovely folks over at the Daily Reezy and I have to say I absolutely love them. I think these completely capture the essence that is Ryan Lochte. I mean this is straight up Mountain-Dew-drinking, fun-dip-eating, questionable-blog-writing, Grill-wearing, iced-out-to-the-fullest Ryan Steven Lochte. If you told me these were just pictures they covertly took while he was hanging around on set I would believe you because it captures him that perfectly! It's got everything - the quintessential Reezy animated facial expressions, exposure of the skin that is always just one notch above tan with just the slightest hint of a burn courtesy of the Florida sun, and that inexplicable something that is just Reezy himself. Like GMM always said, to know Lochte is to love Lochte - this is him and I am loving it.

Even though I love the pictures I did notice one thing. I don't know about anyone else but the second I saw this picture all I could think of was that it looked like it could have been a production still from a CW revival of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I mean, with the expression on his face, that hat (which is very similar to that seen in the opening credits) and that wacky pose, it is straight up "West Philadelphia born and raised" circa 1990. Not that I have a problem with that, I love Fresh Prince! And I think Reezy's got enough flavor and style to be considered the Fresh Prince of swimming, plus I saw a couple of pictures of Reezy going for a slam dunk on the b-ball court and it looked like boy had some game. And I'll have you know that in the opening credits he does say his life got "flipturned upside down" so it seems pretty fitting. But this whole retro TV thing got me thinking: if Reezy is the Fresh Prince, then who would be Jazz? You see, Jazz is an integral character in the Fresh Prince universe - not only is he Will's best friend but he's kind of a hype man of sorts. I thought for a moment that perhaps Michael (the other half of Phlochte) might just be the Jazz to Reezy's Fresh Prince. But the more I thought about it, I felt that maybe Michael might be more of a Carlton. You see, when Michael's training, he seems to be pretty serious - like a bow-tie-wearing, Tom-Jones-Loving Carlton. They're both a little (ok maybe a lot) nerdy at times, and they're both pretty serious about their prospective goals - Carlton wants to go to Princeton and Michael wants to win those races - you see where I'm going with this? Also, Eve put a vision in my mind of what Michael probably looks like when he dances and unfortunately, the Carlton comparison seem fairly accurate in that respect.

All dancing jokes aside, I think we've seen from... recent very "Jazz" like events, that Michael seems to be a pretty multi-faceted guy - he's not wearing that Carlton bow-tie all the time! He might even do a few things that warrant being thrown out of the house by Uncle Phil. So I'm going to go a head and say that Michael can be both Carlton and Jazz. They're both important characters who serve a similar, and very important purpose in the life of the Fresh Prince. Now I know what you're thinking, "but Candace, they're personalities are so different!" You make an excellent point there. It is true that Carlton and Jazz are different, which is precisely why I have dissected the personality of Michael Phelps in such a way that it allows him to represent 2 characters. I think that it's safe to say that Michael can be Carlton when he's training - because at that point he's under the guidance of Uncle Phil, I mean Bob Bowman - and then he can be Jazz when he's taking breaks and going to Las Vegas. Sure there might be a few exceptions, like the time Carlton and Will went to Vegas together and did a dance to "Jump On It" to make money but we really can't afford to get into the true intricacies of this show or we'll just be here all night! Wait... so does this mean Debbie is Aunt Viv?

Oh, Yes They Did! 3/3/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:43:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to "Oh, Yes They Did!" Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
2. The World We Live In - The Killers
3. Don't You Want Me - The Human League
4. Lover's Nerve - Mando Diao
5. She's Electric - Oasis
6. Bang a Gong (Get it On) - T. Rex
7. Listen to the Music - Doobie Brothers
8. Good Eye - Bruce Springsteen
9. Showdown - ELO
10. Wait For Me - Sean Lennon
11. Norwegian Wood - The Beatles

It wouldn't be an episode of OYTD if we didn't talk about our love for Dev Patel. For those of you NOT in the know, Candace has been trying her very hardest to learn the "Jai Ho" dance shown at the end of "Slumdog Millionaire." Valeria can vouch, girl has got it DOWN! Well "it" as in the parts you can actually see when the credits aren't being shown. But even so, she's learned a pretty good amount and her body is sore as hell from all the dancing in her living room so give the girl some credit! Clearly our love for Slumdog Millionaire is taking over our lives and will undoubtedly affect our future relationships with men who will refuse to go on gameshows to win our love, but we can live with that. During all the Jai Ho dancing, we learned that Valeria now has a subscription to 'Star' magazine which is both troubling and wonderful becuse it means we'll get access to exciting and inaccurate celebrity news. According to the mag, we're not the only cougars who want some Vinda-Love. None other than leg-crossing-Basic-Instinct Sharon Stone (allegedly) tried to slip Dev Patel her digits at some British Awards show. Now of course we know in our heart of hearts that Dev Patel only had eyes for Freida Pinto but we think it's pretty funny that a formerly Girlfriend-less 80lb boy from London is now being accosted by Sharon Stone. We doubt that Dev was biting though, because according to another report in Star magazine (accompanied by a lovely photo) Freida and Dev were spotted "canoodling" in a pub at 3:00 in the morning. Sorry, Sharon! Looks like the only person gettin' any of Dev's Vinda-Love is Miss Freida.

Ok I think there's a reason why that show is called 'The Bachelor.' It's because that dude can't make a damn decision and is destined to end up alone! So neither of us here at OYTD have watched the entire season but conveniently enough we did happen to catch the season finally which of course the most important and arguably the only important episode. To be honest, I don't remember the names of the ladies but I do remember the fact that this dude was crying like he just lost his best friend in a house fire. I mean, I'm all for the man tears at the appropriate time (like when you meet your beautiful love at the train station but then your bastard of a brother basically kidnaps her and throws her in the back of a car) but this was just beyond anything I ever needed to see in my life. I mean this guy was all about the dramatics - leaning over the balcony? Really? That's too much now. Anyway, he picked this one girl who was super cute and they were super happy and adorable. Cut to the after-show special and they're breaking up! What a bastard! Her words not mine. No seriously, she actually said "you're such a bastard" under her breath - it was amazing. Apparently he was actually in love with the blonde chick (who we were less fond of) and she actually took him back! Way to make women look like idiots! Actually, they're both tools so maybe they'll be happy. They deserve each other. Oh and if anyone Tivo-ed it, you could probably play a drinking game to that special - because if you took a drink every time this guy said 'regret' you'd be wasted within 10 minutes.

Jonas. Brothers. My two favorite words in the English language. We had a lot of Jonas news to cover, starting with some music news. We gave our listeners a little taste of the 'Tonight' remix that Timbaland did for the boys and we'll just say we were a little less than enthusiastic about the result. I mean Timbaland is supposed to be good at these things but he took a song that was lighthearted and fun and made it sound, not only really depressing, but also as if it were recorded on using a Casio keyboard and a Rainbow Bright tape recorder. The song sucks but we can't blame The Boys, the original is actually really fun and very appropriate for their 3D movie. Speaking of the 3D movie, little miss Demi Lovato makes an appearance along side the well-quaffed threesome. Demi has some pipes on her and she also happens to be best friends with Selena Gomez, the former love of Mr. Nicholas Jonas. Valeria surmised that perhaps Nicholas was only dating Miss Selena to get closer to Demi. I have to say, even though I was into their interracial love while it lasted, there is quite a bit of evidence that supports her theory. For example, when filling out a "complete the sentence" questionnaire (for a cheesy teenger bopper magazine that I may or may not have purchased over the summer) Nicholas, when presented with the sentence "I think ___ is cute" filled in the blank with "Demi Lovato" whilst his brothers chose safer answer choices like "my mom" and something else equally as boring. Also as someone who may or may not have seen the "Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience" I may or may or may not have witnessed some on-stage interactions that further support this theory. If you think about it, they would make quite the cute couple. They're the same age, they're both famous, they're both performers and they're both in the Disney universe. Plus you know I love the interracial loving so hey, get your groove on kids (in the most PG way you possibly can.) Speaking of the Jonai getting their groove on, how is it possible that Joe Jonas is dating Camilla Belle? I mean I understand the general concept of the purity ring and will power and all that stuff...but he's dating Camilla Belle - she doesn't exactly seem like the purity ring type of girl, plus have you seen those pictures of her in GQ? Her hotness could melt that metal right off his finger! Taylor Swift seemed like a much safer choice but she got kicked to the curb (apparently via 27 second phone call if you believe published reports) for the older and much more dangerous Camilla Belle. To be honest, I think they make quite the handsome pair, I just hope that she doesn't corrupt our dearest Joseph. Stay strong, Joe! God speed.

Oh Yes They Did! 2/24/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:47:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened to this week's edition of OYTD. Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Jai Ho- AR Rahman
2. Paper Planes - MIA
3. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You - Black Kids
4. Tidal Wave - The Killers
5. Lovers in Japan - Coldplay
6. Two Doors Down - Mystery Jets
7. Oh Creole - The Rumble Strips
8. I Was Made For You - She and Him
9. Baby, Now That I Found You - The Foundations
10. Delayed Devotion - Duffy

Two words: Dev. Patel. For those of you who don't know, Dev Patel is the young star of 'Slumdog Millionaire' and he is our latest and perhaps greatest obsession over here at OYTD. Not only is he flavorful (ethnically speaking) but he has a delicious British accent. We know that he's only 18 but we're willing to overlook it because if Nick Jonas has shown us anything, age ain't nothin' but a number! We decided that since Dev will undoubtedly become a redisent ethnic love over here in the OYTD universe, he deserves a nickname a la "Chocolate Love." We had some trouble coming up with a name that met the appropriate criteria. All lover nicknames must be comprised of two vital elements: an ethnic food item and the word "love." We first had to think of food items. We thought of possibly using Naan, because it is a scrumptious Indian delicacy but the word sounds slightly negative and Curry was too obvious (and almost overtly racist) so decided to go with Vindaloo - it's delicious, spicy and Indian, just like Dev. Of course we made some minor changes to make sure that the nickname fit the above mentioned criteria and have named our Indian Lovah, Dev Patel "Vinda-Love." Welcome aboard the love train, Dev!

Someone else who seems to be feelin' our Vinda-love as of late is none other than Dev's 'Slumdog' costar miss Freida Pinto. There are various rumors swirling that Freida broke it off with her fiance and has taken up with the younger man (which I can totally respect, okay?) Now, we don't know how true any of this is but we have compiled some pictures as evidenciary support (in the words of Elle Woods). What that basically means is that we were fangirling over pictures of Dev and Freida together so hard that we started collecting them. What we were looking for specifically, however, were some pictures where these cuties were giving each other some Michelle and Barack looks - LOVE in the EYES! Maybe it's just a rumor or just our hearts willing a real-life Jamal/Lahtika love affair, but you cannot fake the look of love! Plus how cute would it be if they really did start dating? (and then did a cute bollywood dance in a train station) It's destiny!

Ok, I know we all LOVE (with an L-O-V-E) our boy Reezy but there is no excuse for some of the pictures that have been surfacing as of late. I don't know what these were for but there was some horrendous Marky Mark, Channing Tatum, back alley, JC Penney photo lab aesthetic going on in a set of pictures recently shown to these eyes. The thing that REALLY bothers me about this situation is not necessary the tacky wood paneling in the background (which clearly does bother me) or the fact that one of the shots features Reezy wearing a suit that is about 8 sizes too big. No, I can live with all of that but what REALLY bothers me is that with someone as naturally good looking as Ryan Lochte, you have to exhert a considerable amount of effort to produce pictures this bad. We've seen candid pictures of this man that are lightyears better than these. I mean, I've seen pictures where Reezy is sitting and picking his nails that could be put into a magazine. I'm talking photos where he's mid-sentence that are still better than this "organized photoshoot." Valeria wondered if maybe Ryan had a little something to do with the way this whole thing went down - was this a collaborative effort? It's a good hypothesis but for some reason I can't help but think back to the movie Zoolander (you're a monkey, Derek!) and assume that Ryan is putting his trust in these cheestastic photographers only to be taken advantage of. I mean these looked like production still from the latest addition to the 'Step Up' movie franchise. And we know he's not the problem - just look at him! Underneath all that gel is a beautiful, precious, priceless gem of a man. We've seen him on the podium post-swim, skin glistening from the chlorine, hair damp and finger-combed just so. When will these people learn that less is more?! All I have to say is that we are in dire need to GQ 2.0 because not only was his actual modeling fierce, but the styling was ferosh. More of that, please!

On a side note: If you haven't noticed, we've been completely fangirling over not only Dev Patel, but the ENTIRE cast of 'Slumdog Millionaire,' including the kids! Check out this interview of them at the oscars and feel your heart melt!

Oh Yes They Did! 2/16/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:44:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who listened in to a very special Monday edition of 'Oh, Yes They Did!' Here is the playlist in case you missed it:

1. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
2. When You Were Young - The Killers
3. Starlight - Muse
4. Boys Keep Swinging - David Bowie
5. Best For Last - Adele
6. Instant Pleasure - Rufus Wainwright
7. Take My Time - Junior Senior
8. Mientele - Los Bunkers
9. Someday - The Strokes
10. American Girl - Tom Petty

It wouldn't be a real episode of OYTD if we didn't mention the Brothers Jonai and their undeniable cuteness. As you may know, Valeria and I had a "Lonely Girl" sleepover in honor of Valentine's Day because well... we're lonely girls. We were going to be each other's dates for the occasion but as luck would have it, we ended up snagging ourselves three days. That's right kids we celebrated Valentine's day with Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas. You see, while we were at CVS buying some everyday necessities, we stumbled upon a lovely heart-shaped box of chocolates that played a little sound clip of 'When You Look Me in the Eyes' by the well-quaffed threesome. Needless to say, it was immediately purchased and taken home. We also had the pleasure of watching the boys perform on SNL. It was all very innocent, purity-ring kind of stuff until we saw their second musical performance - featuring young Nicholas on the drums. The sight of of his frizz-less curls bouncing around as he wailed out on that drumkit was simply too much! That is just one of several reasons why we have decided to add a 'Countdown to Nick Jonas' 18th Birthday' to our sidebar (see you in 2 years, baby!) We also had Jeff sit in with us for out first segment and to our surprise, Jeff had some very positive comments regarding the boys SNL appearance. He also seems to more or less approve of my inappropriate love for Nick Jonas because he made us a lovely "Burnin' Up" sound effect to play on the show. I'll be expecting some visits from Jeff when I'm in the big house.

This weekend was pretty eventful. Aside from our Jonas Brothers Valentine's Day and subsequent dance party, we got word that our boy Ryan S. Lochte swam at the Missouri Grand Prix. Now I'm sure he kicked some major swimming butt in the pool but what we're really interested in is the fact that Reezy's deck-changing abilities were captured on film. That's right kids, there is a YouTube video floating around of Mr. Ryan Lochte doing a little under-the-towel wardrobe change. Not only does the sight of Ryan Lochte removing what I'm sure was a very tiny speedo do major damage to my ovaries, but seeing him...ahem... adjust himself while doing so may have caused irreversible harm to my entire reproductive system. While I'm sure he's oblivious to the harm he causes and can't help himself, every now and then I get the feeling that maybe, just may he knows exactly what he's doing.

Speaking of Ryan driving the ladies crazy, we affirmed that Ryan Lochte is simply too hot. Now some of you might think that that's an impossibility but I'm pretty sure the thought of dating Ryan Lochte, while initially thrilling, would strike fear into the hearts of women across this great nation. I mean even though you'd have bragging rights for several lifetimes, dating someone that attractive would definitely bring down our self esteem a few notches. Not to mention the insane possessiveness you'd feel over over him because when you're with Reezy, you know girls will be checkin' out your man. Basically what we're saying is that unless you are as fierce, fabulous and flawless as Ryan Lochte (which is pretty hard to imagine) you're better off admiring from afar.

Boy Bands! Don'tcha just love them? Well if you don't, I don't know where your head is at because they are fantastic! We had a little boy band blast from the past on the show - featuring some clips from New Edition and the incomparable New Kids on the Block. Valeria and I were in agreement about the fact that Jordan was the fiercest of the New Kids - and he was workin' that hair! Not only was he fierce as HALE when he was with the New Kids, but he was also pretty effing hot when he made his little comeback in the late 90s. He was older, wiser and sand songs with suggestive lyrics - what more could a girl want? Of course, NKOTB isnt for everyone, which is precisely why we have a little poll up so you can vote for your favorite Boy Band. Get voting!

In other news, it looks like Michael Fred is off the hook. It seems as though that Sheriff down in SC finally realized that persecuting Olympians for petty crimes isn't the best way to spend his free time. Now that he doesn't have much to do I suggest he finds a hobby. I think that knitting would be an excellent choice because I, for one, would love to see his collection of knitted fashions. But what I think we're all looking forward to is seeing Michael Fred tear it up on the water again. Hey maybe that sheriff can figure out a way to knit me a big foam finger (well... big knitted finger in this case.) It might be a nice little project for him because if this situation has shown us anything, it's that this guy is chronically bored.

The Jonas Dilemma

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 14:05:00 +0000

I love the Jonas Brothers. I do. I've seen Camp Rock. And I liked it. I might have even seen it more than once. I might have even purchased the DVD (with the karaoke special feature on it) on the day of its release. I might have even moseyed past the Jonas tour bus when they played Madison Square Garden and written something on it with a giant black sharpie. And maybe I walked 20 blocks to to find a sharpie just so I could do it. And I didn't feel guilty about it. Because I have a problem. Allow me to explain:

It's been a while since there was a decent boy band on this planet. It's also been a while since I was 13 years old - so maybe that's why I feel some guilt in admitting the fact that I absolutely love the Jonas Brothers. Just like any self respecting college student, I had some trouble coming to terms with my love for the Brothers Jonai. For a while, I couldn't even admit to knowing who the were let alone liking them. I would just listen to their sugary sweet pop songs in my room with the door shut or on my iPod at a very low volume - making sure no sound would escape my headphones and give up my covert operation - and not say a word. I would make excuses - I didn't really like them, their songs were just catchy! But denial is how this whole thing begins. You feel guilt in knowing the band you're listening to is not only a product of Disney but also happens to be the preferred musical choice of Sasha and Malia Obama - ages 7 and 10. Sure, knowing that your love for the Jonai basically means that you'd fit right in at a White House sleepover is a little troublesome but soon enough, things start looking up. Once you allow enough of your dignity to be eroded by multiple listenings of "Burnin Up" and "S.O.S." you begin to realize that you can't be the only one! Surely there are others in the world outside of Jonas target audience age bracket who enjoy them as much as you do. And there are.

I should probably explain how my love for the Jonai began. You see, I work with kids and kids enjoy it when you talk to them about things they like - so I try to stay in touch with today's youth. I've watched a few episodes of Hannah Montana - which may seem like self induced torture to some, but when you can chew the fat with a group of 8 year olds and talk about how funny it was when Hannah's brother started that Nacho Cheese and Jerky stand, you're doing your job. A few years back the big thing with the kids was "High School Musical." The problem was, I never saw the movie so I was missing out on a big chunk of what these kids wanted to talk about. This past summer Iremembered hearing that this new movie 'Camp Rock' was premiering on the Disney Channel so I made a conscious effort to sit down and watch it because: a) it's Disney which means b) it was going to be HUGE. My intentions were pure - I was watching the movie for the kids. I had no way of knowing that I would actually enjoy the movie, Joe Jonas' singing or their bad acting - but I did.

After discovering the Jonai, the problem only got worse. They were everywhere! Usually overexposure is the quickest way to kill my interest but with them... I didn't really mind that they were on TV 23 hours out of the day. That's the biggest problem - I never mind. In fact, I prefer it. It's a Jonas world and I'm just living in it - very happily I might add.

The main problem with the Jonas dilemma is that, I realize that I probably shouldn't enjoy them as much as I do but they're always around! The media just perpetuates this dangerous cycle of Jonas. I mean, if given the appropriate time frame, I could probably ween myself off of their catchy songs, cheerful demeanor and fabulous hair styles, but I can't get away from them! Just when enough time has passed and I think I'm finally moving on to something more appropriate, they're back again! Take for instance their appearance on SNL. Now because I have this Jonas problem I am very well aware of the fact that they have a movie coming out - Jonas Brothers 3D concert Experience to be exact - so they're making the rounds at all the talk shows and whatnot to promote it. Sure, I can avoid the occasional appearance on Ellen or the random clips on Access Hollywood - but SNL is hard to skip. SNL is a show for grown-ups! SNL is a show for people who stay up late! Apparently SNL is also a show for creepy cougars like myself because this weekend, SNL was smothered in Jonai. Not that I minded, of course. It might have actually been motivation for watching which is a problem in and of itself.

Sure, there are times when I realize that my love for the Jonai (and crush on Nick Jonas) basically means that I have the taste of a 14 year old girl, but I just try and block out those thoughts. The truth is, sometimes things that are "age appropriate" are just plain boring. Yeah, I could watch an Episode of Law and Order or something like that instead of Camp Rock, but I'd much rather bop along on to some Disney songs on my couch than watch someone go on trial for murder. Of course there are bands (comprised of adults) that I like and concerts I go to but they can get pretty intense and sometimes I want to relax and have fun - the Jonas Brothers are fun. They're fun to watch and they're fun to listen to. They dress pretty and they have nice hair. I can't help it if that's appealing. If loving the Jonas Brothers is wrong, then I don't want to be right!

P.S They did some skits on SNL this weekend (that I enjoyed far too much) in case you missed it, here's the Jonai in an SNL digital Short:

This post is Jonas Approved!

Oh Yes They Did! 2/10/09

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:15:00 +0000

Thanks to everyone who tuned in and listened to "Oh, Yes They Did!" It was our first show back from break so we were super excited to be back at WECB. Here is playlist in case you missed it:

1. 10th Avenue Freeze-out - Bruce Springsteen
2. Apply Some Pressure - Mark Ronson ft. Paul Smith
3. Our House - Madness
4. 22 - Lily Allen
5. Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
6. Tell Me - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings
7. Papel Volando - Kinky
8. 1234 - Feist
9. Ringing Bells - Mando Diao
10. It's Only Love - The Beatles
11. Wild Billy's Circus Story - Bruce Springsteen

What a day! Our show is now on at 2:00pm on Tuesdays so we're still adjusting to our new 2 hour time slot, but we're still as sassy as ever. First order of business: the deception and inappropriateness of Nicholas Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. As many of you may already know, Candace has an extremely illegal crush on the youngest of the Jonas Brethren and it's something that causes her great trouble. Luckily (or not) other adult females are beginning to see the light and lust after this underaged performer. Valeria's finally understood the Jonas dilemma when she saw young Nicholas in DC at the children's inaugural concert. She seemed to have enjoyed Nick's choice of wardobe - as she says, red makes you "pop." The problem with Nick is not only his perfectly quaffed hair but his impeccable wardrobe featuring tons of MEN'S clothing! MEN'S! He is a child and should dress like a child. Does he? No! He dresses like a delicious man (who probably smells very good and has a swag like you've never seen) which makes grown women, like us at OYTD, feel uncomfortable because of how not uncomfortable it actually makes us. For instance, this past Sunday the Brothers Jonai attended the Grammy's which, of course, presented 2 very serious problems: 1) Nick's insanely well put together and masculine red carpet outfit and 2) A live performance that was somewhat suggestive, if you know what I mean. Although I felt somewhat better about my inappropriate crush when my adult friend sent me a text message claiming that "the one with the white guitar is pretty hot" and when my sister told me that being attracted to Nick Jonas was ok because he is blatantly masquerading as a man, I still felt a knot in the pit of my stomach for fear that Chris Hansen was going to show up at my house with Dateline cameras. However real that fear is, it won't stop be from seeing that 3D movie! Look but don't touch.

Second order of business: some crazy couple drama! Now I know Valeria and I like to throw around the phrase "domestic violence" a lot when talking about hot men, but Chris Brown took it a step too far. See, when we say "domestic violence" it's usually in the context of a photoshoot where our Swimmer loves are making angry faces on magazine covers or spreads and looking hot. So when we say "domestic violence face" what we're talking about is just looking a little angry, and a lot delicious, but what Chris Brown did is actual domestic violence. Reports have been coming out that Chris Brown allegedly assaulted a woman early Sunday morning which caused him to cancel his Grammy performance. Now reports are saying that the victim is Rihanna. Now I don't know what everyone else's take on this is but what I do know is that in the Silva household, you never hit a woman. Needless to say, I'm not big fan of Chris Brown at the moment. In general, it looks like Chris is going to be dancing his way to a courtroom pretty soon. We just hope that Rihanna's ok and we wish her the best.

Of course we'd be remiss not to discuss the infamous "situation" that Michael Fred has found himself in. First of all, let us make it clear that we still love Michael Fred as much as ever (freakishly long torso and all) because if we're anything (aside from sassy and snarky) we're loyal! Besides it's not like Mikey pulled an A-Rod and did something that messed with his athletic performance. He might have made a bad decision on this occasion but at least he's honest with it comes to athletics. Who doesn't seem to be very loyal, however, is Michael Phelps' former sponsor Kellogg's who decided not to renew his contract. We do not appreciate Kellogg's peacin' out on our boy so we announced our "General Mills Jubilee; "a public display of support for an alternative brand. We listed some of our favorite General Mills products (which included Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Golden Grahams and Lucky Charms just to name a few) and in looking at the list we realized that General Mills is a clearly superior company in terms of deliciousness and non-jerkiness - so they'll be getting our breakfast cereal dough from now on! No special K for us! Cheerios for Solidarity! Anyway, what we'd really like to know about this whole situation is who sold Mikey out - because they'll be getting a visit from me and some very scary men once I find out who it was. We might find out who it was soon enough because it looks like some sheriff down in South Carolina is trying to build a case against our boy - which only further proves my assumption that most people in the world are seriously bored. Clearly this man hasn't had a celebrity roll into his town in the last 20 or so years and now he has nothing better to do with his time except try and bring Mikey down. Just leave the boy alone and throw the real criminals into your paddy wagon.

It wouldn't be a real episode of OYTD without some Lochte Love. We recently found out that our boy has been signed to Ford Modeling agency. Now we've all known about his off-the-charts degree of deliciousness for a while but signing with a big shot agency like that might be just the thing he needs to show the rest of the world the Lochte light. Now even though the picture Ford used of Reezy on their site is questionable, we know the boy has some serious modeling skills (as we saw in GQ) so hopefully this means he'll score some sweet gigs. Heather said Reezy should go for something along the lines of Ralph Lauren Rugby and we here at OYTD have to agree. With his barrel chest, those shirts would be lookin' pretty fierce and let's face it, he'd pretty much look good in anything (as long as he doesn't have gel in his hair.) We're thinking that going the Ralph Lauren route is the way to go for several reasons: it's got that All-American image, it blends the sophisticated with the sporty and Ralph Lauren is the maker of the most delicious cologne ever - Polo Black. For those of you who don't know what Polo Black smells like, I can only describe it by saying that it smells like the most delicious man you could ever imagine - so clearly, Ryan would fit in pretty well there. I don't know what's in that stuff but I'm almost certain it has the same effect as fertility drugs - there should probably be a warning label on it just in case. Anyway, we're pretty sure that a legitimate organization such as Ford knows what their doing and will get Reezy some sweet jobs. Clearly, we're really excited about it and we can't wait to see the final product (or products if we're lucky.)

Needless to say, we are psyched to be back at WECB and we hope you guys keep tuning in for more. Check out some of the madness that is "Oh, Yes They Did!" in this little 'behind the scenes' mash up I made for our first day back:

In other news my roommate just turned 22! For those of you who don't know, my roommate is a BIG Ryan Lochte fan. Now I know that most of us around here all appreciate the glory that is Ryan Lochte so that doesn't seem like a huge deal but believe me, for her, it's a big deal. It was her birthday yesterday so I decided to get her a little something special to celebrate the occasion - a Ryan Lochte cake. I mean, what could make a cake more delicious and a little Lochte love?

Yum!

Stand By Your Man

noreply@blogger.com (C-Bone) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 03:26:00 +0000

I think it can be inferred from the title what this blog is about and what I think about the whole situation. It seems we've heard just about every opinion from just about everyone - ranging from the people who now think Michael Phelps is somehow cooler because of all of this to the people who are just about ready to steam roll over their copies of Sports Illustrated. Since everyone seems to be having a go at it, I thought I'd add in my 2 cents to the giant pile of pennies.

Clearly this issue has “broken hearts and broken dreams” written all over it. No matter how you slice it, someone is going to be upset over it but I think some people have been pretty unfair in judging Phelps. Hey, I like to make fun of Phelps as much as the next person but I am a ride or die kind of chick and I'm sticking to my guns and standing by my man. I'll admit, when I first saw the picture I was upset. I mean, my Michael Fred doesn't do things like this. My Michael Fred is smarter than that. My Michael Fred does not disappoint! But once the steam that was coming out of my ears at the time finally disseminated, I realized that my Michael Fred doesn't exist anywhere except in my own brain. I created a version of him that I felt most comfortable with, a version that made me happy. Nobody could have ever lived up to the standard I had in my mind. It was only a matter of time before something, anything came along and shattered my image of him because it was too specific, too strict and far too unrealistic. We all do things, maybe even on a daily basis, that aren’t necessarily consistent with how other people see us, or even with how we see ourselves. This is life.

One thing I think we need to consider is that there is undoubtedly a difference between “Michael Phelps” and Michael Phelps. “Michael” is that guys in all the interviews, the guy in all the magazines, the guy who holds giant checks on "The Today Show, the same guy who releases those cringe-worthy quotations in Subway press releases. Hey, he might even be sitting comfortably in your cupboard on a box of breakfast cereal right now. That’s who we all know. But then there’s Michael – the 23 year old kid from Baltimore who, aside from being really good at swimming, probably deals with a lot of the same crap that the rest of us do. Sure, he’s got more money, more notoriety and more talent but I’ll bet that the thoughts that run through your head before you fall asleep at night run through his too. I’ll also bet that when he’s with his friends, he probably forgets about “Michael” and just wants to be normal – which results in what we’ve seen. Yes, I think it was irresponsible, and frankly quite stupid, but I can understand how it would happen.

Yes, he may have disappointed you but let us not forget that he gave you something, too. He did far more than provide prime time entertainment. He made us think that maybe we could actually get off our lazy butts and accomplish something – that it was actually possible to make something of ourselves. He made us think that excellence was achievable. What he didn’t do was claim to be a shining example of what a human being should be – we made him into that. Last night I was reading Euclides da Cunha's "The Amazon" for class and I came upon a quotation I thought was pretty poignant. When describing the Amazon he said "from time to time we idealize uncontrollably the tangible elements of a surprising reality." I think that's what we've done with Michael. He was a surprising reality; his talent was surprising and we idealized him because of it - perhaps rightfully so. But nobody (not even the Boss) can live up to this kind of imagined version of themselves. Nobody's perfect - Hannah Montana even has a song about it, so you know it's true. And if he were perfect, I'd probably hate him. Sure, being an Olympian and a role model comes with responsibilities (and he failed to meet them) but he’s held up his end of the deal thus far and we’ve loved him for it. He excelled at his sport and in the process made us believe that when it came to the Olympics, Team USA not only had the best athletes, but also had the most heart.

It was pretty hard not become a fan watching him but contrary to popular belief, being a fan is a pretty self serving practice. That's not to say that don't give as a fan, but you get a whole lot in return. I've been a fan of many things in my life and I know what it's like to feel like you give so much to something (whether it be a person, a band, etc.) and get so little in return. You devote your attention, your emotions and even some of your resources to this one thing. Sometimes you get so caught up in this devotion that you forget why you became a fan in the first place. Yes you might like a band's music, or an actor's movies but I mean the real reason you became a fan. It happened because, at some point in time, you got some sort of satisfaction witnessing what they did. In simple terms, they made you feel good. You waste hours upon hours researching them on the internet or reading books about them because these people give you something to strive for; they make you think that one day you can be as good as they are; or maybe they offer you an escape or a hope that you'll get out of whatever crappy town you live in. That's what Michael Phelps did for me.

Michael gave me something to hope for during the summer. Maybe it was only for a few days but they were the most exhilarating 8 days I'd experienced in a long time. No, it wasn't my dream to be the "greatest Olympic champion" but for those 8 races I could have sworn I wanted him to be more than he did! He gave me something to talk about, something to write about and the voice to write it in. Now, maybe that voice was there all along, dormant and waiting to be awoken, but talking about him helped me find it and I don't know that I would have found it otherwise. Writing has become something that I really love and as strange as it may seem, I feel that I should be grateful to him for helping me realize that. No, he wasn't standing over my shoulder telling me what to write or how to write it but Bruce Springsteen doesn't have to waltz through the door and play me an acoustic set in my bedroom for me to feel grateful for the album "Born to Run" on rough days either - but I digress. So many great things have happened because of Michael - I've made friends because of him, and I've experienced things I never thought I would because of him. I'm not going to write him off so quickly because of one mistake because if I did, it would be like saying I'd just as easily give any of those things up - my writing, my new friends, all those experiences. If anything, this situation makes his accomplishments seem more astonishing. He messed up! This must mean he's not an alien cyborg swimmer! He's a person just like the rest of us (gasp!) and he’s done do much. Unbelievable. I know the thing I loved about him was how normal he was - maybe this was just a little too normal for some people. But like I said, I was upset when I found out but it doesn't make me respect what he's done any less and it doesn't cheapen the experience that I had witnessing any of it. It was an absolute joy watching him and I still wish I could relive it.

I guess what I'm saying in all of this is that it's ok to be disappointed and it's ok to be upset but I don't think that reevaluating your fandom is necessary. People can't always be exactly who you want them to be. I remember the first time my parents couldn't help me with my math homework - It was earth shattering! Everything I had believed up to that point was suddenly called into question because the people I had believed to be all-seeing and all-knowing simply weren’t – and I was disappointed. But I got over it. Sometimes people disappoint you, even the ones you thought never could, even the ones you sincerely hoped would not.

So before your decide to rip your Michael Fred bed sheets off of the futon in your Mother's basement I suggest: a) you move out of your Mother's basement and b) think about what being his fan has done for you because now is the time when being a fan can really do something for him. Besides, I hear loyalty and compassion are in style this season.