oh meaghan

it stands alone

2013-05-14T12:30:00.000-04:00

Throughout the course of the very limited conversations we had about our marriage ending, my ex made it quite clear to me that our wedding was a mistake. If not a mistake, a distraction. While it makes sense that, in the end, it may have been an unnecessary use of resources, I have really wrestled with believing that it was an unnecessary use of my heart and an unnecessary reflection of the love I felt for and shared with my ex. To have it be such a fresh memory -- seven months ago -- only compounds the clashing feelings of joy and loss. I've just been trying to figure out how I truly feel about it all.

The biggest impediment to just pretending it never happened are the physical, tangible artifacts of the day itself. In my possession I have every note, every sample, every plan and multiple copies of almost every component from my wedding day. I have photos, online and on hand. I have gifts from our registries and handmade things from my family and friends to celebrate our love. I have the cards, the soundtrack to our day, my ring. And every single love note or card my ex ever gave to me, including daily notes from the month before our wedding day.

I have the blanket one of my closest friends hand-knitted for us draped across my bed. The beautiful gold frame my brother gave us for Christmas, with a photo of my family at our wedding, sits on my windowsill, repurposed. The platters I had hoped to serve delicious meals on to our families on holidays and at special celebrations are tucked away in a closet. My wedding dress is balled up and shoved into a basket with copies of my wedding program, our guestbook, and the hand-calligraphy print our stationer made especially for us. I could throw all of these things into a giant fire pit and turn the memories of them into ash, but I don't want to do that. Because they were given with love and with the intention of becoming part of memories. GOOD memories. And I deserve to keep them.

There are these memories of the process and the day to hold close to my heart, but there are also the archives of the connections I share with everyone there. Archives that continue to be filled, despite my marriage ending. To erase these images and these memories seems unnecessary. And to be honest, it seems mean.

My best friends in the whole world, by my side through everything.

My dear friend and incredible spiritual guide, Bishop David Flaherty, who wrote one of the most moving and personalized wedding ceremonies that could ever be written for two people he believed in without fail and without hesitation.

Katherine seeing me in my dress for the first time, her face reflecting the love she has held in her heart for me for 28+ years.

Angela and I looking at each other adoringly, and then collapsing into a fit of giggles. This is not unique to the day, this is unique to US.

My brother and I, voguing in the driveway between photos.

My family. Oh, my incredible family.

And my sisters-by-choice, who have been there for me since before we knew what friendship and sisterhood even meant. They have held me up, loved me, comforted me and saved me from myself forever.

My brother giving one of the best wedding toasts in the history of wedding toasts.

My aunt and uncle, who flew in from Switzerland, dancing.

Pang, my sweetest friend and photographer, and her boyfriend leaving me a love note in the middle of our picture files.

My extended family coming together from all corners for us. Dancing and laughing and being loud and being so supremely wonderful. For us and for me.

These photographs contain memories and connections that are timeless, and they exist not just because of my relationship, but in spite of it, too. I refuse to have contempt for anyone when looking back on the day I crafted as a reflection of my enduring love for someone who decided to not love me back. Every tear, every laugh, every moment where we were deeply moved is to be treasured.

No matter how much I seethe with hate or weep with despair, I cannot seem to convince myself that forgetting October 13th, 2012 is in my best interest. On that day we were surrounded by 60 of the most important people in the world to us, as individuals and as a couple. These were people who had demonstrated, in either word and/or deed, that they were committed to our union as much as we were, that they would be there through good times and bad, and should we ever need sanctuary or space, that they would hold our burdens and our hearts for us until we were strong enough to take them on again. In fact, these commitments were made by us to them in our vows, and they made those commitments to us in return. Everyone I brought into my marriage through familial connection or friendship has been there for me, from the moment my marriage began to the moment it ended to the place I'm in now -- this weird, new, exciting and strange transition space. They're all there. With pompoms. And love. And sometimes more hope than I'm capable of generating on my own. The vows I made to them, and that they made to me, have survived.

The past month in therapy has been really challenging and wonderful. There are days and weeks and years where I couldn't see -- literally anything. But my wedding was a perfect reflection of the genuine, and [hypothetically] neverending, love I felt for my ex. My marriage was going to be more of the same -- cautious deliberation, meticulous planning, joy, confusion, frustration, celebration, love, and chaos. My marriage ending means I lose people, of course. But the fact that I get to take such an incredible collection of people and things and memories with me after the six and a half year chapter of my relationship ends is a true gift. The book of my life is still being written, and how lucky am I to keep the best characters from chapter to chapter!

So no, my marriage didn't survive. But this day -- this beautiful, perfect, love-filled day -- it's mine. And it stands alone.

it's bonanza

2013-04-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

In a conversation with Angela this week, I explained that navigating the world of Not Being in a Relationship after close to seven years left me often feeling like Daryl Hannah's character Madison in Splash. Not the "hot blonde flopping around in a mermaid outfit and causing televisions to explode by saying my mer-name" kind of Madison, but the "completely overwhelmed by the weird human world around her" kind of Madison. There is so much living and changing that happened around me while I was nestled in the warm (and then cold) embrace of my relationship. It's hilarious to me that I thought I knew what was going on.

In order to make it through each day without melting into a puddle of tears, I've worked hard to kind of compartmentalize my feelings as necessary and talk until I can literally talk no more. I'm not stalling the grieving process by any means - I am in therapy, I am reaching out to family and friends, I am changing my daily routine as much as possible so I'm not stuck face first in a pint of Ben & Jerry's every night. But it is completely irresponsible (and impossible) for me to stop my life. I'm grateful to have people who have opened up their ears and hearts to hear me out when I needed someone to talk to - the silence of suddenly living alone can get profoundly lonely - and grateful to have people who have not run away when a word/deed/memory has caused me to burst into tears. Sometimes in public, too!

So I am embracing this new world instead of running back to the ocean and reuniting with my mer-pals (or whatever the equivalent is in my non-movie, non-mermaid life). I'm ripping into the metaphorical lobster with my teeth! There is so much self-rediscovery that will happen in the coming weeks and months, and while terrifying in theory, I am actually kind of excited. I suppose this willingness to brush myself off and keep moving forward is a form of courage, right? As my therapist told me, I have a good script running in my head. I am resilient.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts that you left in the comments of my previous post. I am truly grateful for the big, warm, loving community of people who have surrounded me during this time and helped me put my feet back on the ground so I can continue marching on. The only way through is forward.

my tears dry on their own

2013-04-16T12:30:00.000-04:00

Growing up in my upper middle class and predominantly Catholic neighborhood, I had but a vague grasp of what divorce really meant. Few of my friends were from homes where their parents were divorced, and the people I did know (my next door neighbor, for example) had been divorced for so long that the bitterness had faded to the point where it was barely detectable. I mean, at least for my kid self.

I spent most of my free time between the ages of 12 and 18 babysitting, as most girls do. The families I babysat for were all perfectly composed nuclear families from my vantage point, and nine out of ten babysitting jobs were for date nights where the parents would come home tipsy and giggling at each other and overpay me because they were so absurdly in love. These people, like my parents, seemed to grasp that marriage (for all it's goods and bads) was kind of a permanent thing. But when I was about 15 years old, my rose colored glasses were smudged...almost irreparably. I found myself the babysitting pawn in a really painful divorce game played by a husband and a wife with three small children.

In what seemed like a matter of days, their happy home fell apart and I was left to manage the confusion and emotions of three children under the age of six years old for sometimes 15-20 hours per week (which, for a high schooler, is substantial). From what I was told, the husband cheated on the wife. She was devastated. Furious, even. She kicked him out, but later I learned he left quite willingly. She, a stay-at-home mom, began to spend a significant amount of time out of the house. She started to exercise almost excessively. Her children began to panic and their behaviors started to change; they relied on me to explain what was going on to them because their parents were incapable of articulating the mess they were in to such young, tender minds. It became too much for me to handle, and I was saddened but completely relieved when the mother packed up her family and moved back to her Midwestern hometown.

Since then, my exposure to divorce has stayed pretty limited given the statistics out there about failed marriages. My parents have been married for 35 years, my aunts and uncles have mostly been married for more than that. My grandparents on both sides stayed married and all of those before them. Nobody said it was easy, and it was always made abundantly clear to me that marriage was a lot of work. Yet despite this inclination towards eternal matrimony that has existed all around me since I was born, I've always been a little skeptical about marriage. And hilariously enough, my brother is too. This is not so much about the fact that we're both queer/gay, but rather borne out of a patient and reflective kind of existence. We're romantics, but not in a way that oppresses us to think that any relationship we enter into would last forever. Romantic realists, I guess.

That said, when I decided to get married last year, it was after over two years of internal debating and hemming and hawing about whether it was right for me. My partner? Completely right for me. But marriage? I wasn't so sure. It was also after almost five years of being in a monogamous, committed relationship with my partner that the truth dawned on me, and marriage became a sudden necessity. The months of detail management, hand-assembling nearly everything, and negotiating the architecture of our ceremony were spent in such good faith that I was doing something I wholeheartedly believed in. Despite interjections from some family members, we opted out of premarital counseling, with a therapist or the bishop who married us, despite the fact that I was always willing.

And then, our wedding. What a perfect day, filled with so much unbelievable love that at times I thought my heart might explode. Everything happened according to our meticulously constructed plans. There were tears in my eyes, and in my spouse's as well. I walked away feeling like I had moved into a new stage of my life. It was terrifying and glorious and incredible. And, most importantly, I believed in every fiber of my being it was permanent.

Cut to six months later. Well, five months and three weeks. Our marriage is over, and despite my protestations, there is no room for me to argue or try to change the course of my ex-spouse's decision to leave our marriage. I continue to feel blindsided by the announcement that I am now on my own. I imagine I'll feel that way for many, many months. Years? My heart aches in the most painfully inconsistent way, leaving me feeling like I'm genuinely out of my mind sometimes. I have spent many nights crying myself to sleep with my hand placed on the pillow next to me, one that was filled with the soft breathing my spouse would fall into while sleeping. Other nights, I'm furious with almost uncontrollable rage. I piled up every poster, print and photograph that reminds me of Us onto my spouse's desk, in anticipation of one day never having to remember my own thoughtfulness and the close to seven years I dedicated to someone who could decide to leave me in an almost instant.

They say that the grief of divorce is almost more painful than that of losing someone to death. I never quite understood that. I spent close to a decade mourning my grandfather, who was as close to my best friend for the first 13 years of my life as anyone else. But this pain is so uniquely different. When I was told that our marriage was over, I felt myself splinter and break like the fragilest of glass. Me! A person that people describe as a "fierce bitch" or "bad as hell" or someone who doesn't take crap from anyone, someone who tells it like it is. Someone capable. But as I sat, with my closest friends and brother by my side, I wept uncontrollably into my own hands for hours. Covering my face was the weirdest part for me, as it's not something I can ever remember doing. It's as though I was trying to hold myself in, literally. I couldn't sleep. I could barely eat. I certainly couldn't focus on anything for more than five minutes. I genuinely felt like I was reverting to the person I was long before I ever met my spouse; someone young and uninhibited, but also completely stupid and reckless. I was afraid that I would go back and lose myself again. So I grieve. I grieve for my marriage, for the loss of my best friend, the person I very carefully and deeply considered to be my soulmate. I also grieve for myself, because I'm so easily capable of getting lost, and I can't let that happen this time.

The past two and a half weeks have been filled with ups and downs. It's been complicated for me to dissect what that line is for people - the line at which they decide that something is fixable, or that it's just time to let it go. I still haven't figured that out, honestly, and that probably has more to do with being heartbroken than anything else. At times I have felt the most profound sense of relief, and others I have felt painfully alone. The first time I grocery shopped by and for myself, I came home and sobbed while putting things into the fridge and pantry. I have found that I cannot, for long periods of time, be alone with myself. So I've started listening to more music. I will start crafting again. I will get out of the house and explore the life I have now and the woman I decide to be from here on out. I'll stop telling myself that I'm too old to start over. I'll continue to conduct myself with honor and integrity, despite my anger and pain. Summer's on the horizon, thank goodness, and will keep me adequately distracted.

Moving on is going to be really complicated though, but a process I'm now forced to undertake. Once the dust settles - finances and living situation and all that - I will have time to sit with myself and clarify how I intend to move forward. I start therapy tomorrow. I have the Most Incredible Family and Friends in the Universe. I have people all over this great big world ready to take me in for respite or fun or whatever I need. And, I realized this morning that I have myself. While I'm quite battered and broken down at the moment, I am by nature an incredibly confident and brave person. I am also my own best friend in every sense. Losing faith in myself now is not an option.

cupcake wars, part deux

2013-02-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

A little over a year ago, I entered a cupcake competition at my apartment complex with a mocha chip cupcake and a pumpkin cupcake with apple cider buttercream. I won 2nd place and while I knew my cupcakes were incredible, I was a little defeated. I'm not used to losing when it comes to baking! When they announced this year's competition, I signed up immediately and researched recipes for quite some time until settling on these two delectable treats.

We were required to make cupcakes with at least two ingredients from a list of suggestions - salted caramel, mint, peach, vanilla, peanut butter, and champagne. It's pretty difficult skip vanilla in a cupcake recipe, so I figured this challenge was easy in that regard. Hunting down a mint chocolate recipe was pretty easy too, but the peach cupcake + buttercream planning was a hodge podge of ideas and last minute decisions I made in the kitchen. Here are the recipes!

Minted Love Cupcakes - dense, chocolaty and not too sweet!

adapted from Mel's Kitchen Cafe

350 degrees | makes about 30 cupcakes

Cupcakes

2 cups sugar

1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup cocoa

1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup boiling water

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line muffin cups with paper baking cups. In a large bowl, stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; using a handheld electric mixer or an electric stand mixer, beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water. The batter will be quite thin. I suggest using a 1/3 cup measure to fill the muffin cups 2/3 full. Bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with moist crumbs. Let the cupcakes cool completely on a wire rack, after removing them from the muffin tin.

Chocolate Mint Filling

1/2 cup chocolate chips

3 tablespoons heavy cream

1 teaspoon peppermint extract

1/3 cup powdered sugar

While the cupcakes bake, place the chocolate chips and heavy cream in a small microwave-safe bowl and heat for 1 minute at 50% power. Stir. Repeat the process until the mixture is smooth. Stir in the peppermint extract and powdered sugar, whisking until smooth. Let the mixture cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally to keep it fluid, and pour it into a squeeze bottle or piping bag with a small circular tip. When the cupcakes are cool, insert the tip of the squeeze bottle into the center of the cupcake and press gently to fill the middle of the cupcake with the mint ganache.

Vanilla Mint Cream Cheese Frosting

1 cup (2 sticks, 16 tablespoons) butter, softened to room temperature

8 ounces cream cheese, softened to room temperature

32 ounces powdered sugar (about 7 cups)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

2 teaspoons mint (which is actually spearmint + peppermint!) extract

Green food coloring

In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy - until just about doubled in volume. Add the powdered sugar and mix until smooth. Add the heavy cream and peppermint and vanilla extracts. Beat until light and fluffy. Add green food coloring until the color you like is achieved. Frost the cooled, filled cupcakes with frosting (using a large star tip) or simply spread the frosting in a large dollop with a butter knife or flat spatula.

Garnish Options

melt chocolate chips in the microwave, use a squeeze bottle or piping bag to pipe out shapes onto a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper - in this case, hearts on sticks!
garnish with mint Hershey Kisses or Andes mints
make extra ganache and squeeze a zigzag over the top of the frosting after the ganache has cooled
mini chocolate chips

Peach & Champagne Sparkler Cupcakes - bright, light, sweet and tart!

How do I describe champagne buttercream? It's tart and creamy, like Greek yogurt but sweet. I would not say that it's effervescent in the slightest, nor is it at all boozy, but it's tasty and the perfect complement to the cloyingly sweet peach nectar.

Cupcake

adapted from Iowa Girl Eats

350 degrees | makes about 20 cupcakes

1 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup half & half
1-1/2 cups + 2 Tablespoons flour, divided
1-3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 peaches** peeled, pitted & chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line two muffin tins with cupcake wrappers.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, beating until well combined before adding the next one. Add vanilla then beat to combine.

With the mixer on low speed, slowly pour in half & half then beat to combine. In a separate bowl, sift together 1-1/2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in three batches, mixing until just combined before adding the next batch.

Toss remaining 2 Tablespoons flour with the chopped peaches then fold into the batter by hand. Fill muffin tins 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-17 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let cupcakes rest in the muffin tins for 5 minutes then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

** Um, peaches aren't in season, so I went with the second best and used a can of peaches in juice. Down with syrup!

Frosting
You'll need to make two reductions - this involves simmering a cup of liquid on the stove for 5-7ish minutes (until it's reduced, basically) and then allowing it to cool. In the case of this recipe, I made one batch of champagne reduction and one batch of peach nectar reduction. Here are the bare-bones for a reduction-based frosting, though I went into this in more detail with my apple cider buttercream.

1/2 cup (1 stick) room-temperature butter
3 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3-4 tablespoons reduction (champagne or peach nectar)

Make the frosting according to the apple cider buttercream instructions. Swirl the two frosting together onto the cupcakes using this method from Good Life Eats. Sprinkle with silver jimmies - or whatever you have on hand!

ETA: The voting's in and I won 2nd place. Again.

I'll be back with a tutorial for my "sparkler" cupcake toppers soon!

on my honor, i will try

2013-02-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

Today is the final day of secret talks for boardmembers of the Boy Scouts of America about a number of subjects, including lifting of the ban on gay scouts and leaders just seven months after the BSA decided to stick with the ban after a two year confidential investigation into the matter. The media is speculating, and with good reason, that the ban is being reexamined by BSA leadership because of a joint investigation published by the Huffington Post and the American Independent. In their research, HP/AI examined the human resources policies and policies specific to the philanthropic foundations that function as extensions of the companies that provide corporate support to BSA, and used these policies to publicly lambaste them for supporting an organization that does not toe the line in the same way that their companies do with regard to anti-discrimination.

This is an interesting way to confront corporations, especially because now more than ever Americans are prioritizing their political agendas when it comes to where they spend their money (please see: Chick-fil-a). To support an organization that does not permit an entire swath of the American citizenry to join their ranks is a sure-fire way to place your company's head on the guillotine of public opinion. And when companies stop financing your organization because your policies are in great conflict with the convictions of the majority of Americans, it's time to reexamine your priorities.

As I have shared before, I grew up scouting. I spent eight years of my childhood proudly earning the badges, learning the skills, and selling the cookies for the GSUSA. In fact, I even spent time as a Girl Scout under the leadership of a woman who is now the National Executive Director and Founder of the American Heritage Girls, a Christianity-based scouting organization that believes in reminding girls that their only "choices" in life are to be subservient to God and to marry a man. How I managed to escape her leadership unscathed, gay, and a proud defender of equality is truly a testament to the hypocritical vision for her organization. It was not in spite of scouting, but because of scouting, that I developed the confidence and the convictions that I continue to have to this day as a queer woman, and Garibay was an important part of laying that foundation. Her organization is now waiting breathlessly alongside millions of parents and kids for the final decision from this BSA's secret meeting. And when the decision is announced, AHG is reporting that they too will begin talks to determine whether their partnership with the BSA will continue, and in what capacity.

What the AHG, and thousands of scouting parents in general, are willing to do is quite simple: they are willing and eager to tell children across this country that if you are gay or trans*, you can't and don't belong. Local troops will be able to make the decision to continue to discriminate against gay leaders and scouts under one expected version of the revised policy, and others have promised that if the ban is lifted (despite the freedom for local troops to set their own agendas) they will disavow the BSA completely. What we can be sure of, if the ban on gay scouts and leaders is lifted, is that certain troops and AHG will likely dissolve their partnership with the BSA, and the children left in the fray will not only lose their ability to be part of a confidence-building and community-oriented extracurricular endeavor, but they will also like lose a tremendous amount of self worth. The reasons for this opposition to "homosexuality" in scouting (and in general) is varied, but generally rooted in a core belief that being gay is a sin, sinning is not only something for which you should atone but also something you must seek to stop at all costs, and more than anything (as I have discovered while trolling the AHG and BSA Facebook pages) that gay leaders are merely pedophiles looking for an easy fix, and that gay scouts are a distraction from and impediment to the core beliefs and goals of organizations like the BSA. If I never need to explain to an ignorant person why homosexuality and pedophilia are unrelated, it will be too soon.

You can also imagine how this public sharing and pearl-clutching manifests inside my brain...well, what's left of it, as it exploded and shot out of my ear holes the other night when I started reading comments on the AHG Facebook page. And you can also imagine how this information impacts children, the precise reason why these organizations exist in the first place - it alienates them and establishes a fundamental misunderstanding of who they are and what their sexuality truly means, how it manifests in their life, and all of the great things they continue to share with the world BECAUSE they are gay, not in spite of it. It demeans their character and their self-worth, and it degrades any hope they might have of involving themselves with peers toward a common goal; that goal being scouting, of course, not gay sex on the campsite.

So the Scouts—you know, there’s a scout law, right? A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. ... But the idea that somehow this should be a program where we want to say, "Well, these values are only applicable to some young men, to people who happen to be straight," that’s, frankly, antithetical to everything that scouting is about. And I think, actually, the United Church of Christ put it superbly well in their recent endorsement of ending the policy. They said that this ban is inconsistent with the values of dignity and respect that have always been the foundation of the scouting program.

Zach Wahls, in the video I linked above, is perhaps one of the best inadvertent spokespeople for the BSA, or scouting in general, through his organization Scouts for Equality. It is not just the fact that he was raised by lesbian mothers that has given him the confidence and character to articulate himself the way he does in interviews like the one at Democracy Now. His self-awareness and critical thinking skills are things that scouting encourages in all of their members, be they members of the GSUSA or BSA. President Obama has repeatedly endorsed ending the ban on gay scouts and leaders in the BSA, but my concern is that the same "fringe" communities and groups that are so opposed to Obama are the same communities and groups that support the ban, and the same communities and groups that are willing to prioritize convictions rooted in their Biblical/Christian fundamentalism over the health and well-being of this and all future generations of scouts...or more plainly, children. It's quite easy to step away from discussions like this one under the guise of "I don't have kids" or "scouting isn't a big deal" or "I just don't care" or "I don't do politics!", but the reality of life is that it is short lived, and by not fighting the people opposed to profound changes and justice for children (also known as: The Future of This Country), then we are tacitly endorsing the discrimination of all people. That is not the country you or I want to live in.

Contact the BSA today and tell them you support lifting the ban on gay leaders and scouts in ALL troops, and that by leaving the decision to individual troops, they are jeopardizing the quality of life for thousands of kids. And be sure to sign a petition at Scouts for Equality while you're at it!

cookie fest 2013

2013-02-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

This weekend I set out to finally try out some cookie recipes I had bookmarked for over a month. Two wins and a loss...not too shabby. Check out the recipes and my thoughts below!

HOT COCOA COOKIES
These cookies are delicious! Not profoundly chocolaty, which is only slightly disappointing, because they still taste like good ol' Swiss Miss hot cocoa and they have a delectable chewy texture with crisp edges. I think we can all agree that a good ol' package of hot cocoa like that is very tasty now and then. And yes, foodie police, I do have a canister of dark chocolate hot cocoa mix imported for my particular use from Switzerland, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. I'm not a heathen. These cookies are a great alternative to the standard chocolate chip cookie, especially if you like mini things.

1 1/4c room temperature butter
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 1/4 cups flour
4 packages hot chocolate mix (not sugar free)
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup mini chocolate chips
1 cup Jet Puffed Mallow Bits or mini marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. You can line your baking sheets with parchment paper if you like, but it's not required.

Cream together butter and both sugars until light and fluffy. Add in eggs and vanilla. Blend well.

In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, hot cocoa mix, salt, baking soda and baking powder.

Carefully blend dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, a little at a time. Try not to overmix!

Blend or fold in the mini chocolate chips and marshmallow bits. The dough will be on the drier side, which might make this final mixing stage a little difficult.

Drop on to your cookie sheets. I used a 2oz cookie scoop, but you could just measure out tablespoon-sized portions and roll them into balls by hand.

Bake for 9-11 minutes. Allow to cool for 3-5 minutes then remove from cookie sheet.

[Adapted from Baked Bree & Love From the Oven]

SPRINKLE COOKIES

Me: "So, they're like those sprinkle cookies you buy at the grocery store, but better. You know what I'm talking about?"
Mom: "No, I've never seen sprinkle cookies at the store before."

Me: "MOM, they're in the bakery area, with the sprinkles, and they're pillowy yet crumbly and buttery and cute and delicious, They're addictive and so bad that they're good. They're a classic Italian American cookie, as well. Especially if you watch Real Housewives of New Jersey. You bring them to Christmas and baby showers or they will cut a bitch. You know what I'm talking about, right?!!"

Mom: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Me: *head explodes*

Despite my mother's inability to recall any baked good that didn't originate in her kitchen, these cookies are The Jam. They are so good, in fact, that when I gave them to my friend in a box last night at the sushi bar, she opened the box immediately, put a cookie on her plate, and then ate it with her Cab Sauv before our order arrived, much to the dismay of the lovely sushi lady.

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/2 cup canola oil

1 cup granulated sugar

1 cup confectioners’ sugar

2 large eggs

4 teaspoons vanilla extract

rainbow sprinkles, for decorating

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream the butter on medium speed for about a minute. With the mixer on low, slowly pour in the oil, and then add the two sugars, the eggs, and the vanilla. Make sure to stir well after each of the additions. Slowly add the flour mixture, about a quarter at a time. Mix just until the flour disappears. The dough will be soft. Refrigerate for at least an hour (I say at least 3-4 hours) before proceeding (up to 3 days).

Using a 2-ounce ice cream scoop (or up to a 5 oz scoop), divide the dough into balls. Roll each ball in rainbow sprinkles until thoroughly coated. Place them on baking sheets with enough room for them to spread (if you are making giant cookies you will probably only get 4 per sheet). Use your fingers to flatten each ball slightly.

Bake for 12-20 minutes, depending on the size. Bake until the edges start to turn golden. Cool on baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

[Adapted from Lottie & Doof]

PIGNOLI COOKIES
I've had fantasies of making these myself ever since I had the best one I've ever tasted from The Italian Store on Lee Highway in Arlington last April. They also happen to sell the best cannoli I've ever had, and I've had cannoli from Mike's in the North End, a'ight? The pignoli cookies from The Italian Store were so fluffy and tender and perfect. I was sure I could recreate them using a recipe from the internet.

False.

These cookies were INCREDIBLE within the first 20 minutes of coming out of the oven. Then, they turned into old taffy. I swear to you...I could've ripped out a crown with one of these. While the flavor is immaculate, the texture is that of nutty glue, possibly caused by not adding enough air to the egg whites before incorporating them into the paste/sugar slop. I've read that canned almond paste, rather than the tubed variety (which I used), is the way to go. I've also seen suggestions for different amounts of egg whites, using a food processor instead of a mixer, no flour or yes flour, pine nuts only on the top versus encapsulating the cookie, and so on. What I think has happened is regional adjustments of the recipe over time because, like Italians in Italy, the culture of the region dictates the ingredients and preferred end product. So we'll keep trying.

locket valentines for gal pals

2013-01-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

While I can make no promises about this turning into a tradition of any sort, because I cannot commit to any blog topic or project if I actually make the proclamation to do so, welcome to the 2nd Annual Valentines for My Ladies project here at Oh Meaghan. This year I'm sending out little love notes to all of my gal pals with vintage brass lockets on skinny red leather, with a little bit of musical love tucked inside. Lipstick red and a nice brassy gold - HOW GLAM. These are more affordable than you might think, and not intimidating when it comes to the crafting. These are techniques that novices could easily replicate, basically. More than anything, though, I think it's important to desaturate the commercialism of this Hallmark holiday with a sincere expression of handmade love...and who is more deserving of our undying love and hand-crafted affection than our gal pals who hold us up and love us fiercely 24/7/365? That's what I thought!

Here's how I put them all together:

FIRST - assemble your playlist. Each locket contains the abbreviated YouTube link** to a song, cheesy or sincere (or both), about friendship. Create a basic Word document in your favorite font (I chose American Typewriter) and space out your song links evenly. To jazz my locket enclosures up, I stamped the sheet of paper with the heart stamp I used on the front of the cards BEFORE I printed the links out. Once you've printed the links, cut them into strips! Here a playlist with some of my favorite Lady Friend Jams.

** if your friends are all hip smartphone users, Em suggested using a QR code instead of a link. That's why I married this guy, folks. Brilliant! You would need to skip the stamped hearts, however, as it could complicate the scanability of your QR code.

SECOND - Put your lockets together! This requires cutting a yard (36") of skinny red leather cording, securing a jump ring on to the top of the locket (here's a tutorial on how to open/close jump rings), lacing the locket onto the leather, and closing a folded song link strip inside of each locket. I wound up the cording loosely, electing to not add any sort of closure/finding to them. People can choose to wear them as a bracelet or necklace (this leather ties really easily and securely), and the cord is long enough to slip right over your gal pal's head if she so chooses. Wear it once, wear it a million times. It's up to the recipient, of course!

THIRD - Pack them up! I used small glassine bags because I love the vellum-esque effect. Then I folded them over and applied a strip of lipstick red washi tape with little tiny hearts. Use pinking shears to cut your tape for a finished look.

FOURTH - Stamp your cards, use a nice fine tip pen (these are my favorites!) to write your message on the front of the card and your note inside the card. Adhere your locket package to the inside of the card using scrapbooking tape or plain ol' double-sided tape. I'd recommend including a some kind of reference to what you think your lady pals should do with the lockets/how to use them in your handwritten love note. Some people will instantly understand, others will call you, panicked, "OMG [insert your name here], WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!" Clear, simple instructions help everyone, is what I'm saying.

FIFTH - Address your envelopes - using a gold pen, of course - and seal them with a strip of the gold washi tape. If you're mailing your valetines, make sure the lockets travel through the mail safely by sending them out in bubble mailers, which probably cost a little over $1 per valentine. That said, these lockets have survived a few decades, so it's also entirely possible they'll be just fine sans bubble mailer, but I'd still throw on an extra stamp because they are thicker than the average card. I was raised by a woman who uses an entire roll of packing tape on every parcel she mails, no matter the size, so you can see why I'm naturally given to precaution.

SIXTH - Distribute your lovely Locket Valentines knowing that you shared some warm fuzzies with your best pals AND that you made them all by yourself. Nice work, kid!

SOURCES:

1-1.5mm red leather cording from The Leather Connection
vintage brass lockets from Karmel Kisses
brass jump rings from Bunny Sundries
red hearts and gold washi tape & glassine bags from In the Clear
kraft A2 folded cards, red A2 envelopes, heart stamp & stamp pad from Paper Source
APPROXIMATE COST: $3-4 PER VALENTINE, depending on postage

NOTE: You will have lots of leftover supplies with this project, which is always handy and a good investment for your future crafty endeavors - a few cards and envelopes, jump rings, both washi tapes, glassine bags, a great heart stamp, and a stamp pad!

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All of my DIY projects come with the expectation that you will only use the ideas I've presented for your own personal projects. This project should not be reproduced without crediting me as the creator, and the products generated from this project should not be sold in any online or brick-and-mortar shops without my express permission. Thanks, folks!

the hunt for homeostasis

2013-01-28T12:37:00.000-05:00

1.24.12 A few weeks ago, I spent approximately 55 minutes untangling the most impossibly small chain from itself. In my mind, it was a combination of the sentimental connection to the necklace (it was my mom's) and thus wanting to rescue it, and also just a compulsion to untangle something that seemed completely impossible to unravel. My successful restoration of this necklace, which doesn't even fit me, left me feeling triumphant. But then I stood up, looked at the much larger tangled mess than is my craft room, walked out and shut the door. I didn't reopen it until last night.

I've been feeling a bit tangled lately inside my own head, my craft room simply being a manifestation of the delicate disaster that is the contents of my dome. It's not that I'm depressed, or tired, or even overworked. It's just that I kind of don't know what to do next. If writer's block is having a million thoughts and not knowing how to organize them into a series of words that make sense, then that's what I have. I also have crafter's block; same church, different pew as Em says.

1.28.12 Over the course of the weekend, I dismantled, sorted, piled up donations and trashed quite a bit to help morph my craft room into a space that resembles what I always intended for it. I cleaned off my desk, including a good ol' wipe down which left the rag coated in dried paint, dust, pieces of jumprings and chain that ricocheted all over the place, and glitter. Lots of glitter. I pulled out some old trifle containers I found a million years at the Christmas Tree Shop near Em's grammie's house, and made my workspace both functional AND cute, but mostly just...serene. I sorted through all of my projects - ancient unfinished and finished pieces (save for framing them and/or sending them off to their new homes) as well as all of the new ideas - and created a queue for completion. Having them in my field of vision will certainly help me plow through them. Tucked away in drawers and boxes, they are simply forgotten.

I also had some really great conversations with Angela and Em, and while I don't have the same clarity I wished for when I started this post a few days ago, I do at least feel better about things. I'm given to brief AND prolonged periods of stagnation, where I feel like there is just absolutely nothing I can do to blog/craft/work/love/bake/whatever better, thus leaving me to constantly ask myself the question "what's the point?" over and over again. Sigh. Rather than pushing through these insecurities and dropping the anchor of self-doubt I willingly carry around, I just sit. And mope. And sit. Here's to pushing forward and through.

our wedding : the flowers

2013-01-19T11:42:00.000-05:00

My freshman year of college, I worked part time at a local flower shop in order to escape a horrible living situation in my dorm. I spent as much time as I possibly could in the shop, whether I was working or not. It was a safe haven for me, and in the process I learned some very basic things about flower arranging and flowers in general. One of the first decisions I made for our wedding was that I was doing the flowers.

I hoarded jars for over a year and created a plan for picking up the flowers on Thursday before our wedding, and arranging them on Friday. Again inspired by Zach and Clay's wedding, I planned to visit McCallum Sauber at the Washington Flower Center for some wholesale deals, but I also had a back up plan should the whole "purchasing flowers wholesale sans business tax ID" thing didn't work. We woke up impossibly early and drove downtown with a few buckets and a lot of nervous energy. When we walked into McCallum Sauber, it was bustling and full of people actually part of the floral industry, making deals and grabbing things left and right around us. I stood there uninspired by their selection and completely overwhelmed at the idea that I would need to make my purchase there.

After about five minutes of pacing around the warehouse, we left and decided to go with our Plan B, a wholesale-to-the-public arm of Conklyn's in Alexandria. When we walked into the warehouse, around 6:00am, it was eerily quiet but the cooler was open. I shouted HELLO!? and an energetic man bounded down the stairs, told us everything about Conklyn's, gave us a quick tour of the cooler, and let us shop at our own pace. While their selection didn't have a expansive array of interesting and rare flowers, they had absolutely every staple one would need to create interesting floral arrangements. The quality was impeccable, the cooler pristine. We settled on a combination of seasonal blooms and flowers that suited our color palette (which I will go into in a separate post, because it was a PROCESS).

We picked up orange waxflower (which usually only comes in a rosy pink shade), purple statice, delphinium, celosia, dahlias, larkspur, baby's breath, goldenrod, ranunculus, Italian ruscus. Lots of filler flowers helped push our budget further, but we chose fillers that were unique and of beautiful quality. With help from Katherine and Em's Aunt Lynn, we sat focused in the laundry room on Friday morning and put together a wide variety of arrangements, from the giant arrangements we put in barrel jars to the impossibly small arrangements that went into miniature jelly jars my boss hoarded for me at ALA. The arrangements were not perfect, but they were interesting, cute and made entirely with love...JUST what I wanted. I laid out all of the jars into groups that determined their final destination - coffee tables, bistro tables, countertops, etc. I finished off the arrangements with little banners on sticks that I made at the last minute; I used exclamations of joy, specifically OMG which is also representative of the initials in both of our last names. I also made some faux craspedia out of orange and yellow felt balls and floral wire.

I made the executive decision very early on to not worry about boutonnieres, corsages or bouquets. They didn't fit the mood of the event, and I didn't want to worry about them in any way...and in the end, I didn't miss them at all, either. Walking around before the wedding, I was filled with such joy at the way they all turned out.

VENDOR: Conklyn's Wholesale to the Public / 4406 Wheeler Ave. / Alexandria, VA 22304 / (703) 370-1092

our wedding : the food

2013-01-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

The most discussed aspect of our wedding was the food. Hands down. We started quite early in our quest to find a caterer, mostly because living in the Washington DC metro area means you must contend with big events AND weddings, and because I had my eye on a specific guy whose work I read about on A Bitten Word a few years ago. We decided that we'd approach the hunt for the right caterer as all people should - research, interview, sample, rate, decide. We didn't want to limit ourselves to solely focusing on our dream caterer because, well, what if it didn't work out? We also wanted a caterer who would be willing to work in an unconventional wedding space, and someone who was particularly skilled at small bites/appetizers, as we were jumping on that fadwagon with our celebration.

The first caterer I contacted was a dud. I said to him, "our tastes lean toward more southern and Italian cuisine" to which he responded, "so like pasta and fried stuff?" My head exploded, and left me immediately feeling defeated. I decided that it was appropriate, at that point, to contact our caterer of choice and see how that conversation went. He got it right the minute the question escaped my mouth. Oliver Friendly of Eat & Smile Catering was bright and energetic, clear and organized in his monologue about his company, and filled me with such hope about our plans. We went to a tasting at his house, which was coincidentally a block away from our old apartment, and we were served the most incredible, fresh, local, sustainable and hearty morsels of food we've ever had. His enthusiasm for great food was inspiring, and we left his house knowing he was the one.

The next 18 months involved a lot of e-mailing, a walk through of our venue to make sure we were on the right track as far as layout, appliances, tables/chairs, and so on. He really helped us navigate the unconventional wedding space...Em's dad's house...and was excited to cook in the kitchen, which was spacious, well-equipped, and perfect for the day. He, and his partner/wife Alex (an incredible photographer), also helped us refine our menu, clarify our choices, and the sequence of events that we wanted to have for the evening. They were warm and understanding in situations where I feared other caterers might be cold and detached. It was a refreshing experience overall.

Our menu was INCREDIBLE and suited us both to a T:

Caprese with Thai Basil and Aged Balsamic
Beef Empanadas with Sage and Queso Fresco
Vegetarian Wontons with Sweet Chili Sauce
BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Homemade Bread and Butter Pickles
Codcakes with Tartar Sauce
Homemade Kielbasa with House Made Grain Mustard and Corn Hash
Jalapeno Poppers with Goat Cheese Stuffing and ‘Ranch’ Dipping Sauce
Beet and Goat Cheese Crostini with Chive
Roasted Cauliflower Mash with Local Prosciutto and Roasted Garlic
Sliders with Local Cheddar, Spicy Ketchup
Romaine Thai Pulled Chicken in Butterbib Lettuce Leaf
Fried Mac N Cheese with Spicy Ketchup

We also served a signature cocktail in mason jar mugs - Cider Black & Tan - which was a mixture of local apple cider and ginger beer, topped off with Knob Creek if desired. It was delicious and extremely well-loved!

The dedication to impeccable tasting and perfectly composed food is what led us to Eat & Smile, and we hoped that our friends and family would appreciate our decision to go with them. The staff that Oliver brought along with him was friendly, focused, and immediately welcomed into the fold of our big day (especially Michael!)...even my brother, who has cater-waitered at some of NYC's finest events and is a bit of a boss about things, loved the team from E&S. Guests would chase down the servers or wait, salivating, along the kitchen counter for the next thing or a favorite they developed. Our "friendtographer" Pang's boyfriend stood guard at the entrance to the kitchen to make sure he got a codcake every time a fresh batch left the kitchen. We were worried that people might not get enough to eat with the small bites, but everyone left feeling impossibly and delightfully full.

Despite the small bites model being a bit of a fad, I think it works perfectly for an out-of-the-ordinary kind of wedding. People have more flexibility with how much, when and what they get to eat, and you are able to choose from a wide variety of cuisines rather than sticking to one or two. They accommodate people with special dietary restrictions more than a set menu as well. The constant rotation of food coupled with beer and wine kept people light, happy and mingling. It was a wedding reception, but it was also a casual family party. Our wedding felt exactly as I wanted it to feel - relaxed, more than anything - and 95% of that success is due to the team from Eat & Smile Catering.

VENDOR: Eat & Smile Catering / 202-270-1018 / inquiry@eatandsmilefoods.com

things i like, v.1

2013-01-08T14:09:00.000-05:00

THAT PRINT - She bears an uncanny resemblance to yours truly, don't you think? Though I just cut my hair, and my glasses aren't quite that big. I love Nan Lawson's work, and I just picked up a few prints to hang in my craft room...including this one that I'm calling The Accidental Portrait of Moi.

THIS BOOK - I truly feel that demystifying art - the process by which its made, the intent of the artist, the methodology and materials used, and the impact it has on people - will truly inspire people to be more conscious and aware when it comes to all creative pursuits, including crafting, baking, cooking, and even the actual artistic efforts of children.

THESE MOVES - As someone who has struggled with lower back pain monthly since I hit puberty, I really appreciated this post. Amber does a really impeccable job at making yoga moves accessible to non-yogis and fat bodies.

THESE IMAGES - Mallory @ Gems does a great job at culling images from all over the web and creating exciting posts that make me smile. This one seems particularly apropos to the time of year, and what it SHOULD be doing outside. Ahem.

THIS TART - Made it at Christmas, goddamn it was good. Never will I make a graham cracker crust again. The tenderness and spice of a ginger snap/pecan blended crust was completely perfect in every way.

THIS POST - A fantastic breakdown of the varied arguments about guns, gun control, and what we want our country to look like. The Sandy Hook shooting has weighed heavily on my heart ever since it happened, and I've had trouble articulating my views about guns without sounding like an angry, sensitive beast. The Weekly Sift handles it perfectly.

THIS DIY - In a few weeks, I'm going to have an outing to see THIS MOVIE with some friends, and afterward I'm going to sit down and make some of the colorful earrings and accessories made from polymer clay that I've seen all over the DIY web with said friends, including my godkid whose ears were recently pierced! Keeping track of my project ideas HERE.

THESE TIPS - Gluten-free living...a fad or a choice? Who cares. If you can make baked goods that look, and presumably taste, as good as these, then it's worth a whirl.

THIS DREAM - Because, honestly, it could've been mine.

EDITED TO ADD:
THIS NOTE - ...which has been my Facebook cover photo ever since I stumbled across it. Indeed, champers does make you gayer.

our wedding : the favors

2013-01-03T19:55:00.000-05:00

It's hard for me to believe that just three short months ago, I married my best friend and one true love. Since August, I've felt very much like I was Clark Griswold on a greased up metal sled, completely incapable of controlling the pace of anything. But I survived...protip: we all survive. Sharing my wedding will come in bits and pieces, culminating with a post full of my favorite moments and faces. A vast majority of my wedding was DIY, and while I didn't painstakingly create step-by-step images, a lot of what I made it very accessible and easy for the average person. I don't believe in secrets when it comes to these things, so I will link to my sources and, as much as possible, give you an approximate cost. So welcome to what will be the first of many posts about things I did to make our wedding special, homemade, and from the heart.

FAVORS:

I'm a pretty decisive person, but when it came to making decisions for our wedding, I sucked. Royally. I wiffled and waffled and second-guessed everything. I gave myself permission to feel that way, even though it drove everyone around me absolutely nuts, because I didn't wiffle, waffle, or second-guess the PERSON whom I was marrying. Em was a sure thing for me, someone I haven't questioned for a second since we met six and a half years ago. We went through every wedding favor idea under the sun, never stopping to consider just not having favors at all. I'm a favor person; you come into my house, you leave with some sort of token of my appreciation. I respect the opinions of those who think that favors are something you can nix, but it wasn't for me. We considered the following ideas:

personalized hockey stick rulers - because Em wanted something that felt Very Em and we both love to watch hockey together
pencil packs from Knot & Bow - because we both love to write, and the concept reminded us of Em's grandfather and his rules about go-withs
train whistles - because I love trains and they remind me of my grandfather; they'd also be fun for people to toot after the ceremony
autumn-scented handmade soaps
homemade candles
embroidered hankies
FUSAs - which everyone under the age of 40ish loved as an idea, but there were too many wrinkled eyebrows from the "adults"

What I refused to do was buy a finished product that wasn't hilarious and/or creative, and ultimately I wanted to make something. We settled on something seasonal and in line with the "crafty autumn" theme of our wedding - mason jar mugs and mulling spices. Cliche? Maybe. Boring? Whatever. What I accepted in my heart is that while in the eyes of the WIC, mason jar mugs are sooooo overdone, the people attending my wedding weren't going to judge me for choosing them, mostly because they don't attend the 25+ weddings I read about on wedding blogs each day** and because in the context of Em and me, they make sense. I labored over the research for mugs and mulling spices, trying to decide what was most affordable and of the best quality. We needed to make 60 favors, and here's what we wound up buying:

four pounds of mulling spices from Monterey Bay Spice Company
60 3"x5" muslin bags from Monterey Bay Spice Company
100 4"x4" poly bags from Woodworks Ltd.
72 Libbey mason jar mugs from WEB Restaurant Store
one pack of kraft cardstock from local craft store

Once all of the supplies were collected, I set out to create a foldover tag for the top of each plastic bag, which contained a mulling spice filled muslin bag. The plastic bag was to help keep things tidy and fresh. If you're interested in a copy of the file I used to create my tags, please feel free to e-mail me.

Each muslin bag was filled with approximately 1/3 cup of mulling spices. I tied the bags with a bow (so people could do other things with the contents or reuse the bag, if they wanted), and tucked them into the plastic zip top bags. After printing out the foldover tags, I cut them out carefully, folded them in half and stapled them to the top of each plastic bag, disguising the zip top. The bags were then folded gently and put inside a mason jar mug. Each mason jar mug was finished off with a pinking-sheered strip of fabric (that coordinates with our decor, as you'll see in later posts), and a note about the safety of the glass itself. I learned soon after the boxes arrived that the glass was not designed to be exposed to sudden temperature changes, and I went back and forth about returning them, eventually opting to include a note in each mug about how to safely handle them. Not an ideal situation, but it worked out well in the end.

The favors were stacked up on an old red table, that I found many years ago at TJ Maxx, which was situated by the front door. I hand-lettered the sign for the favors to make sure people knew to grab one on their way out, and made sure to encourage everyone to take one as they left (which speaks to the current opinion on favors - why have them if no one remembers to take one?). The extra mugs went to family and the catering team. After months of indecision, the best idea really did bubble to the surface, and our wedding favors turned out to be a huge hit.

[All photos by our amazing photographer, Pang of Pangtography]

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** I hope to write a separate post going into [more] detail about shaking off this completely suffocating insinuation made by the WIC that we must all have the most original wedding ever. Weddings are all variations on a theme, and there are few ideas that are completely original...so you can either drive yourself to drink trying to be The Most Creative Person Ever, or you can take what's out there and make it yours.

molasses cookies + a new year

2013-01-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, kids! Admittedly, this is one of my least favorite holidays. Not because I'm afraid of making resolutions, or because I'm afraid of change or growth or any of those cliched New Year's Eve kinds of declarations. More than anything, I'm disappointed that Christmas is over. To assuage my sadness, I tend to hermit for most of January and find comfort in things like flannel and copious amounts of hot tea.

When I set out to make a pecan pie for New Year's Day dinner at my in-laws, I asked Em to pick up a jar of molasses at the store. I didn't realize I had an unopened jar sitting on my shelf, too. I decided it was time to find a recipe for molasses cookies that I could get behind, and to use up some of this excess molasses. I wanted those crisp-on-the-outside, chewy-on-the-inside, warm-your-guts kind of molasses cookies that you always hope they'll be when you buy them or make them.

What ended up working was a simple recipe from Taste of Home, a magazine my Great Aunt Tootie used to give my mother a subscription to every year. Classics never fail, folks. These cookies were perfect. I left out the suggested pecans, mostly because they didn't make sense, and added a little extra cinnamon and ginger to the dry ingredients. To be honest, I tend to always add more than the suggested amount of spices to my baked goods, especially when they're things like the ones in this recipe. If I had any on hand, I would've chopped up finely a few tablespoons of crystallized ginger and mixed them into these cookies, too. They pair perfectly with my piping hot Irish Breakfast tea, too. Overall, this is a sturdy and reliable recipe that I am more than happy to add to my collection!

Big & Chewy Molasses Cookies
adapted from Taste of Home

Ingredients
1-1/2 cups butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup molasses
4-1/2 cups all-purpose flour**
4 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup coarse sugar

Directions
In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs and molasses.

Whisk/blend the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves and salt; gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Shape into 2-inch balls and roll in coarse sugar. Place 2-1/2-in. apart on ungreased baking sheets; these cookies will spread quite a bit, so don't cram them on the baking sheet.

Bake at 350° for 13-15 minutes or until tops are cracked. Remove to wire racks to cool.

Yield: 2-3 dozen

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** As always, I use a 50/50 blend of all-purpose flour and whole wheat flour for my baking, and these turned out perfectly with this flour combination.

last minute holiday help + shopping

2012-12-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

Clockwise from upper left: Texas / Delaware / Washington DC / Connecticut

In the midst of my last minute Christmas shopping, I found myself snooping around Dutch Door Press's Etsy shop, website and blog trying to find more information about shipping. I discovered that they recently suffered some pretty substantial damage from a fire near their studio, and I decided to e-mail them to inquire about shipping times and if making a purchase would be a great help or inconvenience. Anna responded quickly and told me that they are offering a 20% off sale right now to help sell stock and put the proceeds towards their rebuilding efforts. I wanted to share this news about the incident and encourage you to consider a purchase from their delightful selection.

I elected to purchase a set of state bird prints, which they offer as singles, or in batches of three or six prints at a great price. They're limited edition and incredibly lovely; they actually remind me of the floral birth month prints that my mother used to have hanging in her bedroom for each member of our family. They also have a special listing for priority shipping, which you can find HERE.

Use the coupon code DDP20, through 12/19/12, in their Etsy shop to receive the discount and help these lovely folks recover and rebuild! If you live in the San Francisco area, visit them at Renegade Holiday Market this weekend. More details about the show available HERE.

site :: blog :: shop :: twitter :: facebook

a shower for two loved ladies

2012-12-12T23:15:00.003-05:00

The weekend before Thanksgiving, I helped some of my best friends throw a baby shower for our friend Wendy and her new baby, Jordan. I told you all a little about Jordan in October, and she continues to grow and change and become the chubby and healthy baby she needs to be to head home from the hospital. We wanted to make sure that Wendy had a beautiful shower for Jordan, full of family and friends, and full of pink! We asked my friend and ace photographer Pang Tubhirun of Pangtography to take photos for the event because we wanted to make sure that Wendy had a ton of images to share with Jordan when she's older that were warm, heartfelt and beautifully composed (all talents of Pang's!), and images that would help Wendy remember all of the love that surrounded her throughout her pregnancy and into parenthood.

In lieu of onesie or bib painting, we made ornaments for Jordan's Christmas tree! We served simple and delectable snacks made by the three of us and Wendy's friend Betsy, cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcake (because they are good, dammit. There, I said it.), and a delicious alcohol-free punch because there were nursing mamas and pregnant ladies in the mix. We had every intention of playing some silly baby shower games, but a surprise baby shower tends to be full of surprises, rather than just the initial one. Finally, we spent a good hour watching Wendy open some of the most darling and thoughtful presents ever. Here are a few of my favorite details from the day!

Cupcake toppers made with love by my mom!

Ornament decorating table with glass, wood and styrofoam ornaments, fabrics, paints, bottlebrush trees, hot glue, glitter, stamps, etc. I painted a few terracotta pots that I had laying around with grays and pinks to make the supply-holding more coordinated.

Party favors were a wallet sized photo of Jordan, a little thank you note, and a "warm & fuzzy" crocheted heart for the guests to carry home with them and hold onto when thinking of Jordan.

Felt wreath made on the fly with zillions of hand-cut felt circles and flathead pins.

Christine being creative - a feat in and of itself!

We enclosed a Wishes for Baby with each invitation and asked guests to bring them to the shower. They will be incorporated into a memory book, just like the one made for my mom at her baby shower for me, along with other memories and photos from the day.

Inexpensive plastic bottles were hot glued to wood bases and spray painted with metallic paint. They were supposed to serve as trophies, but our plans were diverted! Good thing more babies are on the way for Wendy's extended family.

So many gifts! And a lovely bunting made by my mom.

We asked guests to bring a book with them to help build Jordan's library. My mom made bookplates that the guests could sign and attached to the inside cover of the book. This is a great, and usually affordable, way to start a well-rounded collection of books for a new baby. They say you should start reading to babies in utero, anyway.

Feedback from the guests was truly positive and affirming, which helped stave off my post-party migraine for a few extra hours (that's what four hours of sleep and 20 hours awake will do to you). As an aside...I have a lot of people telling me I should be a party planner, and while I feel like I could pull it together, I'm not really inspired unless I truly love the person/people for whom I'm throwing the soiree. So for the time being, I'll post things here, and maybe my ideas and sources will help folks coordinate parties in their own lives that are full of creativity, personalization, and love.

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Recipes, vendors and supply sources:

Pink punch recipe from food.com

Zucchini tots from Skinny Taste

Kicked Up Spinach Dip from How Sweet It Is

Crocheted hearts for the favors were custom made by Coffee County Crochet

Customized stationery suite by Stock Berry Studio

Paper goods and decorations from Party City

Craft supplies from my personal stash and Michael's

Mason Jar Mugs from Web Restaurant Store

Felt for the wreath from Benzie Bazaar

Paper straws and washi tape from In the Clear

Stationery suite printing at Fed Ex Office, which was the worst idea ever

sweet + simple ornaments

2012-11-27T19:12:00.001-05:00

We just returned from our annual Thanksgiving pilgrimage-to-somewhere...this year, to the South Shore of Boston to visit Em's grandmother and aunt. We escaped for a quick midday date to Wahlburgers in Hingham, which was divine not only because of the delight I experienced at the thought that members of NKOTB and Marky Mark himself had been in the place where I noshed on a delectable and perfectly composed patty melt, but because the delectable and perfectly composed patty melt was one of the best I've ever had, the servers were fantastic, and the music? OMG YES. Every single early '90s jam that made me squee as a pre-teen/tween/teenager. SIGH.

We also stumbled directly into the Hingham Holiday Market, which was packed to the brim with great local artists and crafters. My favorite booth of all was Elizabeth Benotti's, which was conveniently situated right by the door as you walked into the tent. Her handcrafted ceramics are textural and modern, yet whimsical and practical at the same time. I was especially fond of her magnetic succulent planters and handpainted dishware, but my favorites were her ornaments (pictured above, $20/each). Birds, owls, deer - nothing I haven't seen before per se, but the unglazed feel of the ornament in my hand was lovely, and the sparrow in mid-flight just made me happy.

If you live in the Boston area, Elizabeth Benotti will be at the Concord Arts Market: Winter Giftapolis on December 7 and the SOWA Boston Holiday Market on December 8th & 9th.

WEBSITE :: SHOP :: BLOG

more tips for hosting a successful cookie party

2012-11-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

A week or two ago, I meandered over to my blog stats and discovered that my post called Five Steps to a Successful Cookie Party had been repinned hundreds of times on Pinterest and was driving a ridiculous amount of traffic to my blog. Pretty awesome! Also, pretty hilarious, given that the post was kind of tongue-in-cheek and not what I would consider a comprehensive cookie party reference. So I decided to pull together some of my other thoughts, tips, and suggestions for hosting a cookie party since the 3rd Annual Holiday Cookie Party is a mere month away!

Start with a plan.

Your plan could be wildly different than mine, but I have found that mine is the most effective use of many things - my time, my living space, my sanity, and so on.

I host my parties on a Sunday so as to use the entire weekend for different, and relaxed, stages of planning and set up.

On Friday evening, after work, I mix up batches of my favorite cookie dough - the amount of cookie dough I bake is based on a 10-12 big/little cookies per person formula. Approximately. I have tried other recipes before, but I find the one I discovered at Baked Bree to be the most solidly performing and tastiest cookie. I tend to bake with a whole wheat/all purpose flour combination, which yields a tender texture and nutty flavor to the baked cookies.

On Saturday afternoon, I roll out the dough and start baking. Like I joked in the original post, you must use all of your cookie cutters - yes, even the Volkswagen Beetle, squirrel, artichoke, state of Nebraska, etc. - because it keeps the actual party fun and interesting. I bake cookies together according to their size so that they bake evenly and so I can adjust the baking time as necessary; there is absolutely no sense in baking a four-inch cookie next to a one-inch cookie. Baking a variety of shapes and sizes also helps regulate the amount of time people spend sitting at the tables decorating. Tiny cookies are done quickly, but larger cookies can take some people upwards of 30 minutes to an hour! After the cookies have cooled, I store them in an airtight container overnight.

On Sunday morning, I create platters of cookies in assorted shapes and sizes so that people don't need to move around a lot to find something interesting to decorate.

I set up two tables (in separate rooms), which is all that will fit in my apartment, with an identical assortment of sprinkles, icing, and cookies. Each place setting gets a paper plate with a pronounced lip/edge. Why? So the sprinkles don't roll all over the place, especially onto the floor. I have a pug, which is Tibetan for "vacuum". The sprinkles are poured into cupcake liners which are in cupcake tins. I keep small scoops and spoons on all of the tables for people to use to pick up their sprinkles (instead of their fingers). There are also a number of sprinkles in their original shakers, and some in small bowls if necessary.

In the invitation, I remind people that the party is an Open House format. I don't expect people to show up on time, and I don't expect them to stay the entire time, either. The goal is that people move in and out of the space at random intervals so that 10-12 people are decorating at any given time. I encourage people to start decorating shortly after their arrive so their cookies have time to dry before they leave. Get them set up at a station and with a beverage, then once they're done decorating they can eat and mingle. This is also why you have things like Christmas movies on the TV, libations, and savory snacks. It keeps people moving.

As the hostess, I try to sit with almost every guest (or group of guests) and decorate something with them. Even if it's just a one-inch cookie, spending that time with your guests reminds them that you care about them, that you appreciate that they came to your party, AND that you love what you're forcing them to do, too. It also gets you off your feet, which is nice after baking 16 dozen cookies the day before.

No need for party favors - the cookies ARE the favors! Encourage your friends to take their lovely creations home with them by providing a box for them. Pre-cut small pieces of wax/parchment paper to use as layers between cookies in the box. Have some pretty stickers or washi tape on hand so that you can make the box pretty with them/for them before they head out.

Finally, I try to incorporate some sort of philanthropic element to the party, which keeps people from feeling obligated to bring you a gift for hosting. Last year we collected mittens, hats, and scarves for disadvantaged children who live in DC, and this year we're collecting books for Bright Beginnings, which is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing homeless children and their families with educational and other resources to prepare them for school and to stabilize their home lives.

If you have extra cookies, which is inevitable, don't eat them. You've already had too much sugar. Take them to work and watch your coworkers run around the office on a sugar high instead.

Get awesome stuff.
Focusing on providing your artists/friends with the best tools with which to create their buttery masterpieces is of utmost importance. You want to have a collection of sprinkles, jimmies, dragees, sanding sugar, and icing that reflect a variety of aesthetics and interests. I'll admit that I tend to go overboard, but I also reign in the expenses elsewhere...this is, after all, a gift from me to my friends.

Some of my favorite places to shop for cookie party supplies are:

Confectionery House - a fantastic assortment of supplies including sprinkles and cookie cutters. They also have superb customer service and fantastic prices. Similar to Confectionery House: Fancy Flours.
Sweet Estelle - I did the majority of my novelty sprinkle shopping here last year and was really pleased, overall! Places on Etsy that are similar to Sweet Estelle include: Cupcake Social / Bakers Bling Shop / The Baker's Confections. Outside of Etsy I suggest Hey Yo Yo and Bake It Pretty.
Le Box Boutique - they sell biodegradable boxes perfect for cookies, as well as baker's twine and washi tape to help decorate them!
Your local craft or cake decorating store - specifically for the squeeze bottles I set up with royal icing; they are easy to hold, they keep the icing moist, and people find them easier to use than piping bags.

Supplies you should also have on hand at the party:

toothpicks, plastic utensils, straws, etc. - folks use them to move and shape icing and sprinkles
damp paper towels to wipe dried royal icing off of hands, etc.
aprons/towels and clothespins for people who don't want to get their clothes dirty (instabibs!)
drying racks or lots of counter space in your kitchen
small sheets of wax/parchment paper
a camera, either in your pocket or in a designated photographer's pocket, to catch candid shots and final creations as they happen
savory snacks and appetizers - put them on a table that's out of the way and encourage people to nosh, especially if they've been eating a ton of cookies. Their blood sugar will thank them.
great holiday music and/or great holiday movies - I recommend Elf, The Santa Clause, White Christmas, and the vintage animated movies like Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Nostalgia is a wonderful motivator.

Do your homework.

There's nothing worse than a great plan that fails when it's time to party. I've spent countless hours reading about cookies, royal icing, decorating tips, and other details that make a party like this one run smoothly. My favorite resource is Sweetopia; she's put together a number of great tutorials and tip lists for readers.

Top 10 Keys to Decorating Success [Or 10 Mistakes to Avoid]
Staying Organized While Decorating Cookies - 10 Tips
How to Marble or Swirl Icing - this is one of many decorating tips at Sweetopia, but it is one of the easiest to explain and execute for decorating novices
Royal Icing Consistency Made Easy - the 10 Second Rule
How to Decorate with Royal Icing - Top 10 Tips

Enjoy yourself, dammit.
This is, after all, the msot wonderful time of the year.

life lately

2012-11-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

Instagram photos, from top to bottom: Seamus, examining wedding flowers | Em, with our heirloom gourds and pumpkins | Wedding ceremony spot, before | Annual Costume Try Out @ Target | Post-wedding relaxation & Christmas movies | Congratulatory wedding letter from the President & First Lady/an administration we're proud of | Pre-game strangulation with Katherine | High School rival teams & baby powder dust bomb | S'more basket™ | Autumn on fire out in the country | A miserable, bossy pug | Kettle Corn Classic 2012 competitors | My So Called Life marathon + ornament painting | Oh Ginger's 2012 Stitched Ornament Collection

It's been almost three weeks since my wedding and I don't think I've stopped much at all, even though slowing down was at the top of my To Do List. The upside to this is that I'm living, which is always spectacular, and the downside is that I feel hurried and rushed in some stress-inducing ways. Next weekend I have my first craft show of the year/season, and I'm busy preparing for it every waking moment I'm not at work or with friends/family. Hurricane Sandy only dumped a ton of mostly-gentle rain and moderately-scary winds on us, but we still got some extra time off from work. I managed to clock over 40 hours of "hobby" craft work over the course of the weekend and our days off, though, 19 of which were consumed by a My So Called Life marathon. I finished the series/season feeling as pissed off and frustrated as I did when I was a teenager. Why did it have to end?! No bother, though, because my favorite season is just beginning and there's only 52 days until Christmas!

harebrained schemes

2012-10-04T07:30:00.000-04:00

Shortly before planning our joint birthday party, during which I had a total sweaty/panicky/over-tired meltdown, I told my BFF that I wasn't going to plan any more parties. It was the wedding and that's IT. A year break from coordinating events and things that require things like planning and decor and RSVPs and food. D-U-N. Done.

That lasted all of five minutes, I think. There is the wedding, of course, but there is also the Annual Holiday Cookie Party in December. And then I decided it would be fun to host a Crafternoon at my place, since I seem to know so many people who are either crafty or who want to be crafty. The timing is perfect for some kind of holiday-themed craft, so I decided to suggest an ornament-making Crafternoon. And then I'm all, "what will we do with the ornaments when we're done making them?!" and I decide that I want to recreate my idea from two years ago and sell the ornaments online for a charitable cause. So I solicit the folks invited to the Crafternoon for advice - which charitable cause will we choose? And the first suggestion wins - Girls Rock! DC.

For the past two years, my amazing godkid Ruby has participated in this empowering and incredible project put together by an almost 100% volunteer staff, many of whom are my pals. Every year they scramble to find a camp space, they ask for volunteers and donations, and they do an amazing job at inspiring young girls through music. It makes sense that we do more than just attend the shows every year. (Here's some awesome photo-coverage of the show, by the way.)

So that's what we're doing! Making ornaments, selling them in an online shop, and donating 100% of the profits to Girls Rock! DC. If you're interested in contributing an ornament (or more than one!) to our fundraising efforts, shoot me an e-mail. Our first Crafternoon is November 3rd, and we'll take photos and get ready to sell shortly thereafter. I will make sure to let all of you know when the shop is stocked and ready to rock! \m/

all the things

2012-10-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

Hello, everyone. To be honest, I had every intention of returning here after my vacation with great stories and photos, but that didn't happen. Obviously. I mean, the vacation was amazing, but the follow up was impossible. What did happen was a whole whirlwind of magically and miraculous and exciting and sometimes scary things. Shortly after we returned home from the beach, I was sucked down by the undertow of wedding planning. For all intents and purposes I'm still there, because our big day is next week, but I'm also at the point where there is little I can do to change big picture worries. Things are in a good place, I think.

What has really happened is much greater and more overwhelming than a wedding, actually. I learned in April that a friend of mine, Wendy, was pregnant. (We've technically known one another since high school, introduced by mutual friends we still share to this day.) It was honestly all she ever wanted, and I was so happy for her. She was due on December 11th. A few weeks later she learned that there were some complications and health concerns with the baby, and eventually it was revealed that the baby had a number of severe and potentially life-threatening complications - Turner Syndrome, cystic hygroma, and hydrops (the Latin name for it is hydrops fetalis, which is pretty direct and terrifying). A few months later, she and her husband learned that the baby was not growing adequately in the womb. She was now also facing intrauterine growth restriction, and they suspected it had to do with intermittent/absent umbilical cord flow.

On Friday September 7th, she was admitted to the hospital on bed rest. I rushed with Christine and Katherine to Babies R Us and we purchased Dreft and preemie clothes and receiving blankets. We wanted to make sure our friends had something. We washed the clothes and blankets at my place and drove like bats out of hell to the hospital with them so that she could keep them with her, not knowing what the future held.

On the 16th, we had a Mama Shower in her hospital room because she never got to have a baby shower before she was admitted, and we wanted to show her love and bring her things to keep her entertained. We had spent, and would continue to spend, many days and nights with her at the hospital keeping her spirits up. I was there so much that my friend's grandmother thought I was her nurse.

On the morning of the 24th, her daily monitoring revealed that the bloodflow in the umbilical cord was no longer intermittent/absent. It was reversed, or taking the life out of the baby. They performed an emergency c-section and Jordan Aubrey was born at 3:35pm, weighing in at 1lb 14oz and 13 3/8" long. She was just shy of 12 weeks early.

The emotions of going through this experience with a friend, or at least next to her, has been overwhelming and new and joyous and difficult for me. Watching my friend go through the motions (or lack of motion) during bedrest, facing challenging decisions at every turn, despair, heartache, fear, joy...I was completely in awe of her courage. When Jordan was born, and in the days following, I felt like I had exhaled the biggest exhale of my entire life. The weeks leading up to her birth were scary and challenging for me, and I wasn't even pregnant with her! On Saturday afternoon, I was able to sneak into the NICU and meet her for the first time. She is the smallest human being I have ever seen. It was breathtaking.

Perhaps the thing that tethered me so tightly to this experience, beyond being there for a friend in need, is that Jordan's due date was also the birthday of someone in my life who passed away a few years ago, Elizabeth. I've written about her before here, and I carry her in my heart always. A few weeks before my friend was admitted to the hospital on bed rest, I sent her an e-mail telling her the story of Elizabeth, and also sharing that it has always been my belief that when souls pass each other up in Heaven (or wherever we go), they send the new life down to Earth with similar characteristics to the person who passed. In Jordan's case, I feel in my heart that Elizabeth is her guardian angel, and I can see this to be true already in her brief life so far. Resilience, perseverance, stubbornness, beating the odds. These are all things Elizabeth did with grace and gentleness, and all things I can see in Jordan already, too.

This experience has also been a lesson for me in a lot of ways. It's given me more perspective about choice, it's given me more respect for mamas, it's taught me to understand faith (my own and that of other people) in new and different ways, and I think it's also pushed me to be a better person and friend. These are not things I expected to learn from an experience like this, or from an itty bitty baby like Jordan. I often say that I have the great fortune of being an honorary aunt or godmother to a lot of kids in this world, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my friends who share their families with me (and us!). To have so much access to a situation far beyond the norm, and quite scary at times, has been truly soul-stirring and heart-warming. While talking to Jordan in her isolette on Saturday, we agreed that I would teach her how to craft, how to bake, and how to be the best Christmas elf there ever was. She promised me that she would teach me patience, selflessness, and grace in the face of overwhelming odds. And the best part is that she continues to do well, breathing on her own (with some assistance from a c-pap), gaining back all of the weight she lost post-birth (and then some), and remaining stable. She looks just like her mama, too.

----------
Photos by Jordan's dad, Jason Dunham

vacation

2012-08-10T09:32:00.002-04:00

photo by Alicia Bock - $35

The last time I had a vacation that wasn't about family or a holiday (or both) was over six years ago. In less than 10 days, we will pack our bags and head to the Outer Banks in North Carolina for a week-long beach vacation that, quite honestly, can't come soon enough. I realized yesterday that I have been, and will be, spending the days leading up to the beach frantically obsessing about it, planning packing lists, coordinating cooking menus, and doing everything possible to not focus on this space. So, I've decided to take the month of August off. I hope that wherever you are, there's buckets of sunshine and good things happening. I will see you all in September.

ombré necklaces

2012-07-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

A disaster in my craft room turned into an uncovering of some paint I forgot I had tucked away. Nothing special, just some paint. So I decided to try my hand at some wood bead painting. I have enough in my stash to experiment. At first I painted a single bead, and then decided to go the way of the ombré. Each bead was carefully hand-painted and then sealed with a satin clear coat. I strung them in the same way I designed my SIMPLE necklaces, but instead used a natural (undyed/treated) leather cord. I think they turned out really beautifully. More will be added to the shop in the coming weeks. I definitely need an orange one, myself.

SIMPLE ombré necklaces - $30/each.

all the things

2012-07-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

A list of things.

Food Part 1 - over the past two months, food has changed drastically for us. Em, because of persistent heartburn and general phlegminess, opted to cut out dairy. While I haven't completely cut out dairy, there are just things that we don't buy at the grocery store anymore that were staples before - no milk, no cheese, etc. I buy butter, because I bake often and because that's just not something I am constitutionally capable of divorcing without good reason. I would estimate that I consume less than four tablespoons of butter per week, though, so more often than not it all goes into baking, which is usually something I give away rather than eat. I don't have any objections to Earth Balance for cooking and toast-making purposes.

Overall, Em has felt SIGNIFICANTLY better without dairy. No more heartburn, no more phlegm, increased energy, etc. I went off dairy completely for a year a few years ago, after I was misdiagnosed with a dairy allergy, and I also had the same reaction. I have found that when I do eat cheese or drink milk, it either affects me gastrointestinally (sorry) or I just feel like crap. Usually there is an internal dialogue that goes something like this:

Self: Are you sure you want to feel crappy after you eat that cheese?
Self: Well, what kind of cheese is it?
Self: Do you really think it matters?
Self: Is it gruyere? Or triple-creme brie? OMG is it manchego?
Self: You are really not listening to me.
Self: *completely inside our 12"-wide pantry* I swear to god I have ak-mak in here! Ak-mak plus cheese equals OMG!
Self: Sigh.

Mark Bittman wrote a two part series (1, 2) about cutting out dairy for the NYT, and it was validation/motivation for us in our efforts to just find other ways to eat.

Food Part 2 - two months ago we started with a local farm share that was available through my work. For $25 per week, we get enough veggies to keep us well-fed and healthy from a local co-op of organic farms. We've had tons of cabbage, rainbow chard, kale, arugula, spring lettuce mix, tomatoes, corn, onions, garlic, and so on. It has been SO GOOD for us to really buckle down and focus on eating these things that come home with me each Friday. I started a little inspiration Tumblr full of recipes great for farm share foods, and we've also done more reading about the best ways to prepare the foods for maximum health impact. We're by no means experts in the field of nutrition, but I think that we've really made a concerted effort to do better for ourselves.

I've also brought my lunch to work everyday since we started with the farm share (I cannot convey to you how much I sucked at that for way too long), and focused on consuming 5-9 fruits and veggies daily. We do divert off the cook-at-home path occasionally, and our food choices are not always perfect, but we are trying at that is awesome. We both feel incredible, with more energy. And we've trimmed down our grocery budget TREMENDOUSLY by focusing on simple meals during the week. It is seriously so awesome. I'm no expert, and I'm not going to make you shopping lists or anything, but we found our groove and it's awesome. A million thanks to Em, without whom none of this would be possible. Sometimes I come home and all I want to do is craft, and Em has been steadfastly committed to making dinners and prepping lunch in the morning. I've got a good one!

Sewing - A few weeks ago, I posted on Facebook about making up with my sewing machine. We've been on the outs for over a year. The last time I sat down with it, I wanted to throw it through a window. But, also, I needed to sew something and could no longer put it off. So I pulled the machine out of the box and set it on my desk. We had a long, hard stare at one another and then I tried to push some fabric through. Tension was messed up. Edited. Tried again. Same story. I fought back the urge to throw the machine outside the window again, but decided to try something else. I pulled out the crap thread I had loaded into the machine and realized that I might've threaded it incorrectly. I re-threaded a different thread and lowered the presser foot. I gently pushed some fabric through AND IT WORKED. I think I danced around the apartment for a solid 20 minutes. Then I made some felt bunting and started on a bunny plush, which you see above. I still have no idea what I sat down to sew, though.

Fun - We turned a rained out party frown upside down on Saturday by pulling out a stash of fireworks and sparklers at Angela's mom's house out in the country. I felt like a kid again. I also sang America the Beautiful with lit sparklers, gesturing rhythmically with my arms, only to realize afterward that Angela's brother was standing right behind me, mirroring my movements. Patriotism!

Seamus - Finally, that dog. He has been in a cone for months at this point, as we try to figure out why his chin is so itchy that he attempts to scratch through his face whenever he has access to it. Two nights ago, we tried some cone-free time and he lasted about two hours. Last night he was cone-free for three hours PLUS overnight. I'm not entirely sure he cares whether he has the cone on or not, but you would've thought Em and I had just witnessed the most amazing thing ever seen each time he did something sans cone. "OH MY GOD! He's drinking water!" "Look! He's sitting down!" "He's a genius! He pulled a toy out of his crate!" We also realized that he's pretty damn adorable, too.

So, that's what's up. How are you guys?

desk sets

2012-07-24T07:00:00.000-04:00

I've updated my shop with 10 new Desk Sets - little pouches of practical and decorative delights. Each Desk Set comes with eight fabric covered pushpins, a pair of fabric covered earrings, and a fabric covered pin for your lapel (or backpack, or tote, or or or).

I also just finished up a custom Desk Set order for a friend, who purchased them for her bridesmaids as little thank you gifts. Each set included custom fabrics for each lady, matching favorite colors and/or personality traits. I also customized this order by leaving out the lapel pin and replacing it with two extra pushpins. Each Desk Set was wrapped in bright aqua tissue paper and placed in a customized pouch. These are really sweet and affordable options for gifts, especially coworkers!

Check them out in the shop and let me know what you think!

winners

2012-07-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

Thank you EVERYONE who entered my little giveaway! There were 23 names in the "hat", and the winners are listed above, next to the item they chose as their favorite. I tried my best to pair everyone up with their favorite item as best I could; order of selection knocked a few things around. I plan on doing one more giveaway before the end of the summer, so don't fret. There's more awesomeness to come.

To the winners - I will be in touch and thanks so much for loving Oh Ginger!

Names were chosen scientifically using an origami box I made out of a book cover once, and little strips of paper.