oil for joy

God is Love

2011-10-31T13:39:00.002-04:00

"Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment - to love one another - is the same message you heard before. Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it." (1 John 2:7)

This is the final God Anthology. In the end love is the attribute that requires the most tangible response from us. His holiness, faithfulness, wrath and mercy will send us to our knees in worship but his love sends us to our neighbor.

Think about it:

Jesus loved the Father enough to follow his voice to the cross. We have a very self-focused theology that sounds something like, "if I were the only one alive Jesus would still have died just for me." Yes, Jesus loves us and the Bible tells us so... goes the old song. We must remember that Jesus obeyed the Father. He went to the cross to please the Father. He recognized and responded to the Father's voice among all the other voices and influences that would speak to him during his life.

In the gospel of John, Jesus is always saying things like, "my message is not my own; it comes from God who sent me... I do nothing on my own authority but speak just as the Father taught me... I always do the things that are pleasing to Him..." He is constantly exalting the Father and constantly laying down his rights. "For I know where I came from and where I am going..." Jesus glorifies the Spirit by telling the early church that it is better that he leave them so the spirit will come. The Holy Spirit teaches us to fall in love with Jesus. Jesus allows us to know the Father. The Father glorifies the son. Each member of the trinity focuses wholly on honoring the other. That is the model we are to take to our neighbor.

Romans 12:10 says, "Let us outdo one another in showing honor." What would the world look like we outdid one another in showing honor? What if we acted like the trinity? We are called to be full-fledged participants.

God is Mercy

2011-10-12T10:02:00.002-04:00

When I started working at NCC I was the administrative assistant. Part of my job was to handle bulk orders for Pastor Mark's books. Individuals, small groups, and coaches would request cases to give copies away as gifts or use them for book studies. Entire churches even requested them for sermon series. About a month into the job I received an order that I read as, "22 cases." I sent the books and took care of the paperwork. Done and done... until I received an email from the curiously grateful recipient thanking me for the extra books she received.

Scrambling back to the original email I wanted to cry: 22 BOOKS. Books, NOT cases. The math scrolled through my mind like a film strip. 24 Books per case times 22 cases is 528 books, which is exactly... 506 too many. Not the best way to begin a new job that I really wanted to stick around for. I should just quit now. I slloooowwwwly moseyed my way up to Pastor Mark's office to admit my mistake, ready to pay for the shipping and all the rest. At this point I need to change gears because you should know that Pastor Mark's office has a certain feel to it. It's like you've stepped into peace when you walk in. So not only am I breaking the news but I also felt like I was violating his serenity as well.

I sadly shared the story in a nervous and therefore inarticulate way. He just gave me a grin and goes, "that's okay."

That's all? It is not okay. This is really really bad. Maybe I didn't properly clarify: I sent CASES NOT BOOKS. But again he just says, "nah, it's okay." So there it was: the gospel preached to me not with words but with grace. And I even got to keep my whole paycheck. I expected reprimand and I got blessed.

Besides the fact I was on the receiving end of forgiveness, what made this story a picture of the gospel was that it had a price tag. It was at somebody's expense. It cost him something.

In 1 Corinthians 8 and 9 Paul talks about giving up his rights for the good of others.

And isn't that what Christ did? He gave up his rights, saw equality with God not as something to be grasped, humbled himself by becoming a man, lived a sinless life to be our spotless lamb and died the death of a criminal. It is all so unfair. It truly is the great reversal; a huge injustice. We rightfully celebrate the resurrections so let us never overlook the sheer inequality of the cross. Paul is simply mimicking what Christ has already done: given himself up for his neighbor.

The question is simple: Do our lives preach the gospel to one another? Does mercy - real, costly mercy - inundate the interactions we have?

Do we give up our rights to serve other people, especially if it is going to cost us something or be inconvenient? Do we know Christ and what he has done well enough to submit our lives to Him so we are free to genuinely love and outdo one another in showing honor?

Let's decide individually to be a community that builds one another up.

Shallow Small Groups

2011-08-31T12:52:00.006-04:00

Right now Team D (The Discipleship Team) at NCC is in the process of making some nifty new improvements to Leadership 101 online training. It's the first small group training new leaders at NCC receive. If they don't get any other instruction before launching their group, Leadership 101 is what they need to know. It's my job to help think through content and creativity for those videos. My whole goal is to make meaningful and helpful training that is... really fun. Really creative. Really enjoyable. This is today's inspiration from www.rightnow.org:

Getting Older Doesn't Mean You Have To Grow Up

2011-08-25T01:11:00.006-04:00

I love my friends. Last night I was reminded of yet another reason why they are crazy fun. Case in point:

It is the evening before my birthday. Girl time at the pool - check. DC3 - check. In bed early - double check... for about an hour. I hear a little knocking at my door. Bernita Bontrager whispers, "Maegan, are you in there?" She scuttles into my room in a cape insisting that I check my phone because I may have "an [as in singular] important text message." I had 39. All with this link....

Clue #1 - Go to the fabulous red-headed, air traffic control association's house. Answer = Marion Hixon. I would discover that each house I would go to had a video message with a birthday challenge and my next clue. The first one was Jeff all the way from Africa singing me happy birthday African style.

Clue #2 - You love karaoke. Go to the place where it happens all too regularly!! This is without question the Zempel house, which is home to everything karaoke. Ryan Zempel answers the door, "happy 13th birthday!" That guy... just last week I was mistaken for his child.

Will Johnston, Josh Stockstill, and Ryan sang Frank Sinatra's You Make Me Feel So Young. Ryan may want to reconsider if that message is really true. :)

Clue #3 - Ruth Erickson (of my very favorite Seattle friends!) told me via video about a Yanni concert at the Acropolis. That can only mean Andy Pisciotti's house, a fellow Greece and Rome travel buddy. Andy was just wrapping up a fantasy football gathering and several guys stayed to "support" and "sing me happy birthday." I think they also had some fun with it because they made me sing to get my next clue.

The final video was from Janean Abbott (Hawaii) and from there, blindfolded, I got in a car (along with a life size trophy from last year's fantasy football winner) blasting Pocket Full of Sunshine. I thought that was kind of ironic because I couldn't see.

Eventually, Jenilee LeFors, Heather Zempel and Bernita (aka the spirit helper) took me on the roof for my favorite meal, breakfast. We talked about the highlights of 27, from which there are many... Disneyland in the rain with Heather, being called "the apprentice of goon," moving to Capitol Hill with Jenilee, writing The God Anthology curriculum. Taking a team to Greece: three hour dinners, standing on Mars Hill, being in Corinth, talking in accents. Leadership Retreat, disappearing (it was a magic trick!), starting a blog, getting my first speaking engagement, having Bernita over for the summer, when Ruth came to visit, that I got to meet Jeff's family, that he got to meet mine, road tripping with the Johnstons, Disney on Ice, Handel's Messiah, Memphis, Wicked. The list goes on. Each of those things represents friendships that were made, lessons that were learned, people investing investing in my life and allowing me into theirs. They each involved me learning about others and taking the risk to be known.

My biggest highlight of year 27 is being able to work and live and play with people who wear all those respective hats. Who know which hat to wear, and when. I realized a little bit more tonight just how good of friends they are, and it inspired me to become a better friend to them and to others.

What's funny is that my memory of all the little highlights required their help for me think through them. I needed to be prompted, reminded. We'll forget our blessings if we don't take the time to remember them. But we don't get to enjoy them nearly as much if there isn't somebody there to remember them with us.We need community. We're shaped for it. We can't live without it. Our friends truly determine the direction and quality of our life (I think Andy Stanley said that). I'm so thankful for the community that I get to be part of, down the street or across the country.

Thank you to everyone who made my pre-birthday memorable and fun. Even Andy, who made me sing the Dixie Chicks a-capella to a bunch of guys and his dog. :)

So, here we go. Another year of growth. Another year of adventure. And in the words of my spirit helper person... we are predestined!

God is Sovereign

2011-08-19T09:38:00.005-04:00

When we think about the control panel of our life, one of the most basic and primary lessons a Christ-follower will learn is about who gets to be in charge. Let's be real: we are all a bit... control-freakish. We all have a tendency to believe that everything revolves around us; that we are the main character in our own show. Just look at how we read the Bible. Do we look for ourselves on the pages of scripture or do we look for God? When we read it looking for us, it is like going to a movie to see the extras. The story just isn't about them.

There are theological conundrums about who gets to be in charge. Does God control everything or do we have free will? Regardless of where we land on the spectrum, everything falls under and is subject to God's sovereignty. We can debate the extent and scope of God's sovereignty all day long (which, personally, I find to be great fun) but The God Anthology is about the nature of his sovereignty.

One of my favorite stories of God's sovereignty is the story of Leah in Genesis 29. We learn that to the same degree that God is big and powerful he is also intimate and personal and good. It is about God working his redemptive nature and plan among the mess of his people.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes for them." Leah's story is a Romans 8:28 story. Most of the time we read this and think the story is about Jacob and Rachel. But what Leah? She's Rachel's ugly older sister. Both sisters are married to Jacob, but Leah is the one who is overlooked and unchosen. Most little girls don't exactly grow up dreaming of that situation.

But the Lord notices little, forgotten Leah. Who, by the way, has given way to jealousy, insecurity, and comparison. She has a tendency to turn her "victim" status into feeling sorry for herself and spiting competition with her sister. (Paul would later say in Colossians 5:5-8 "Put to death what is earthly: sexual immorality, impurity, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry... you must put them away: anger, wrath, malice, slander...") Still, the Lord notices her and blesses her with children. We learn a little bit about the state of her heart and her relationship with the Lord through the naming of her kids:

Reuben - "The Lord noticed my misery. Now my husband will love me."
Simeon - "The Lord knows I am unloved."
Levi - "My husband will surely feel affection for me!"
Judah - "Now I will praise the Lord."

Sibling rivalry continues... Leah vying for Jacob and Rachel vying for children. Check out the rest of the family that is produced from the mess.

From Rachel's servant:

Dan - "God has vindicated me!"
Naphtali - "I have struggled with my sister, and I am winning!"

From Leah's servant:

Gad - "How fortunate I am!"
Asher - "What joy is mine!"

From Leah:

Issachar - "God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband as a wife."
Zebulun - "God has not given me a good reward."

From Rachel:

Joseph - "May the Lord add yet another son to my family."
Ben-oni - "Son of my sorrow." Jacob renamed him Benjamin - "son of my right hand."

We see God working through it all. The names Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah... aren't these familiar names? They are some of the most recognizable names in the Bible because they are the 12 tribes of Israel. God's sovereignty has a way of taking our lonely, afraid, inadequate, selfish, insecure, empty lives and not just redeeming us but making us part of his plan. It is out of the tribe of Judah that King David is born. And from King David's line, Christ. And Christ: he is the redeemer of the world. He is the one we call Good Shepherd that will leave his flock and come after you and me when we are lost like Leah. He is the one that existed before the world began and is sovereign over the events of our lives and the choices we make. Secretly and not so secretly, working all things together for good because we are called according to his purpose.

As Leah would grow to discover, when we submit ourselves to our true authority we find our true identity.

Prepare For Your Small Group

2011-08-15T09:38:00.005-04:00

It's about a month before groups launch for fall semester. For the Discipleship Team at National Community Church this means that our inboxes are full of emails with one very common question: how do I prepare for my small group?

If you are a first time leader, this question should be taken seriously but does not need to be a source of worry or stress. Regardless of where you are in your leadership, here are some things to keep in mind that will be helpful to you as you prepare for your group:

1) Pray. This is the most important thing you can do to prepare for your group. Pray for the people that God will bring to your group. Pray that you would be a leader worth following. Pray for his blessing on your group. Pray that friendships would form and that people would grow in their relationship with Christ.

2) Content. Decide what to go over in your group. The ultimate goal of any small group is discipleship: growing more like Jesus in the context of community. The content can be whatever you'd like... from photography to a Romans book study. We have a free market system here :) Whatever you decide, just make sure that it is leveraged for a disciple-making opportunity. If you just can't figure out what the content should be, consider a sermon-based group. Those groups have discussion based around the Sunday message so folks really get a chance to digest it throughout the week. Each Sunday, discussion questions are emailed to the group leader.

3) Structure. Decide before the group begins how the flow of the evening will go. Some questions to ask yourself are:

What is your start and end time?
How is your group going to have prayer? (In groups? Pairs? All together? Be creative!)
If you have a c0-leader, how are you planning to share leadership?
How are you going to include the group in leadership responsibilities? (Snacks? Prayer list? Social planning?)
How are you going to facilitate relationships within the group? (With a covenant? By disciplining somebody to lead next semester? Meet with people 1 on 1 outside the group? Serve together?)

4) Lead Yourself Well. One of the biggest predicaments group leaders can fall into is facilitating community for others and never entering into it themselves.

Be intentional about building relationships.
Get the most out of coaching. If you are a small group leader at NCC you have access to a coach. These coaches are there to help you grow in your leadership, in your relationship with God, and in community with other people. Even if you are a seasoned leader don't neglect this.
Create rhythms for your spiritual life.

5) Be prepared for the first night. Have snacks. Get name tags. Unless you are the one-in-a-million who remembers names the first time you meet people, you will be thankful for name tags! Have a fun ice-breaker. My favorite ice-breaker is "two truths and a lie." It's silly, you learn things about people that wouldn't normally come up in regular conversation, and you have a tendency to remember the things they share.

6. Have an "overflow situation" plan. We are growing so much as a church, but we never want God to grow us beyond our capacity to care for people. It is becoming more and more common that group leaders have an unexpected amount of people show up during the first few weeks. Remember that these are small groups, not large groups! Get creative in how you handle this, but here are three things you can do:

Familiarize yourself with other groups similar to yours to recommend.
Split the group into two smaller groups for discussion time.
Completely birth a new group if somebody within the larger group is qualified and capable to host and lead.

We are excited for this next semester! You play such a critical role in the lives of those in your group. To prepare yourself further, read the books of 1 & 2 Timothy and the book of Titus. Timothy and Titus were leaders in the early church that Paul discipled; these letters are to instruct them in their leadership. Our team prays for you regularly! If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at maegan.stout@theaterchurch.com.

God is Wrath

2011-08-10T18:04:00.004-04:00

God is wrathful and merciful. Those two are inseparable.

The tension between God's mercy and God's wrath is one spot where the Gospel seems... offensive. God doesn't seem as nice or accommodating as he did before.

We all want to believe in a merciful God. Not a God who would bring punishment or wrath. What kind of God is that? But what about a god who didn't get angry at injustice? Do we really want a passive god? God forgives, he doesn't excuse. His wrath is just, and a god who never judges is not in the position to grant mercy.

The definition of sin is "missing the mark." We will never see the wonders of grace nor the depravity of sin until we see them both against the holy person of God. Only a judge, someone in the rightful and legal position - with authority, responsibility and liability to bring punishment - is in the true and appropriate place to grant mercy. The mercy of the cross is not that God's wrath was abolished, but that his wrath was satisfied with something other than the guilty. Christ instead of us.

A.W. Tozer said, "we must find refuge from God in God." We must bury ourselves in the cross. We must hide from the wrath of God in God himself. That is the only place we are safe. As Jesus overturned the money tables in the temple, we must overturn the tables in our hearts that harbor anything that would keep us from idolizing Christ.

1 John 3:16 says, "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us..."

The mystery of the gospel is that God's wrath and mercy collide in the cross. And we find that he is not too cruel for being wrathful, but that we can't handle his mercy because he is so unimaginably good.

God is Faithful

2011-08-10T17:24:00.005-04:00

Amadeus is a story written for theater that was inspired by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's interactions with another famous composer of his day named Antonio Salieri. Amadeus is actually Salieri's story of disapproval of Mozart's character and jealousy over his music. When Salieri was a boy he made a bargain with God (as we all have a tendency to do) saying, "I would offer up secretly the proudest prayer a boy could think of: Lord, make me a great composer. Let me celebrate your glory through music and be celebrated myself. Make me famous through the world, dear God. Make me immortal. After I die, let people speak my name forever with love for what I wrote. In return, I will give you my chastity, my industry, my deepest humility, every hour of my life, Amen."

He traded - God, you do what I want you to do and I'll do what you want me to do.

Throughout the story of Amadeus, Salieri is increasingly filled with insecurity and bitterness. He is able to recognize musical greatness - to feel and appreciate music on the level of the musician he desperately wants to be - but he is angry with God because he cannot produce it like Mozart.

God did not live up to his end of the bargain.

What kind of questions do you ask God when you struggle with his faithfulness? Those questions inevitably arise. When our definition of God's faithfulness - what we expect or prefer or believe a god who is faithful to be like - encounters God's actual behavior it puts us in a predicament, doesn't it? We run into the danger of projecting our expectations of faithfulness on him.

Salieri curses God saying, "From now on we are enemies, you and I. Because you chose for your instrument a boastful, lustful, smutty, infantile boy and give me for reward only the ability to recognize the incarnation. Because you are unjust, unfair, unkind, I will block you, I swear it."

Salieri's true allegiance was to fame.

If we are honest with ourselves, Salieri's insecurities and desires are easy to relate to. If we've experienced any life at all, any ups and downs (or double downs), any disillusionment, then we have probably had a lurking question in the back of our heads... is God really faithful? When our expectations are failed we feel like God didn't come through. We have all felt God's faithfulness seemingly crumble under the weight of our disappointment.

But here's the beauty of God's faithfulness that Amadeus magnificently articulates: any person in the audience will tell you that Salieri is silly. He is insane! his antics are ridiculous! God didn't hold out on him. In the moments of insecurity, loss, pain, confusion, disappointment and anguish Salieri's faith was like a house built on the sand.

John 10:27 says, "my sheep listen to my voice." God may not give us everything we ask for. But he will always give us himself. He may ask us to press in further and claim things in faith. He may not have promised us the things we think he promised us at all. Learning to discern God's voice from all others, even from our own, is part of the thrilling adventure of faith and discovering God's true faithfulness.

Above all, God's faithfulness is found in the cross. The same Jesus that cried, "My God my God, why have you forsaken me?" trusted God so deeply that three days later he proved God's faithfulness that we still get to experience today. God is faithful.

God is Holy

2011-08-10T16:51:00.003-04:00

A.W. Tozer prayed, "enlighten our minds that we may know Thee as Thou art..." and said, "the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like." Essentially, what we think about God is the most important thing about us.

Thinking rightly about God inherently means elevating our opinion of him. We will never be able to think too highly of God. A low view of God forces us to try to fill God's shoes and become our own little "g" gods. A high view of God will result in a deeper relationship with him, greater faith, faithful stewardship, deeper freedom. A high view of God will turn us into thankful, humble worshipers.

Think about some people in scripture who experienced God's holiness:

Moses had a radiant face.
Isaiah saw the Lord seated on a throne and the train of his robe filled the temple.
Abraham drastically uprooted himself and followed his holy God to a foreign place.
Daniel walked into a lion's den.
Saul was transformed into the Apostle Paul.

When we look at scripture it seems that the people who experienced the divine learn one very crucial lesson: they learn to pray and act according to who God is and not according to their own potential.

Romans 12:2 tells us to let our minds be transformed, that we may know what is good and perfect. In a nutshell, we are told to set our minds on what is holy. To set our minds on God as He really is.

God is Mystery

2011-07-29T13:07:00.004-04:00

"Once upon a time..." This little phrase is the door into a land of mysteries. There has never been a time or culture in history without stories. Stories teach us about a world beyond the world we experience every day, and somehow usher us into that world. In a sense, they tell us that other world is closer than we think and not difficult to get to. They begin in an everyday way in an everyday place. Cinderella is doing her chores, Dorothy is on the farm in Kansas, Lucy is playing an ordinary game of Hide and Seek on a boring summer day. In the middle of everyday life, life somehow changes. The fairy tale world invades the normal world as if to tell us to enter the extraordinary through the ordinary. The stories themselves don't feel the need to explain the transposing of places. The leap from one world to the next isn't seen as a leap at all, but simply the next step on a casual afternoon walk.

The new world is unrecognizably strange. Is it safe or dangerous? Both, most of the time! And almost as soon as the characters enter, they find a quest or objective more important than anything they've ever known. And they are uncomfortably ill-equipped; everything hinges on their ability to complete the impossible. And though they are never alone, there is the inevitable twist that nothing is what it appears to be. Trees come alive and witches look like the Fairy Godmother. Everything is in disguise. Somehow the hero of the story learns to distinguish truth from the tricks and tunes into the small whisper that they've known all along but has become so intertwined with the objective it was almost lost or they were led astray completely. Like an artist, the story-writer knows that the process is where the real adventure is found. The process is dangerous with near misses and close calls. It's costly, transformative, and necessary. And everything is revealed for what it really is at the end.

There is one more reason why we love stories. Most of all, we love fairy tales because a great but seemingly insignificant good - even as insignificant as a mustard seed - conquers the unconquerable evil. It is a wonderful world, but even the great tales have an element of tragic. Especially the great tales have an element of tragic. But before we can say, "the end," the wicked get what they deserve, deception is brought into the light, the good rise to the occasion and pass the test into greatness. Everyone becomes known by their true name, even if that means they get a new name. Victory is won.

To reduce fairy tales to children's stories is to miss the mystery. It is the Kingdom of God that is to be understood as a child. In reality, and mysteriously, the events and adventures and even failures these stories describe affirm the yearning they evoke: deep down the mystery of something wonderful we can't quite put our finger on is as near to us and as real as our heartbeat.

Frederich Beuchner said something along the lines of, "It is not just Disneyland that is the happiest place on earth." Real joy can happen to us, too, if we have more than just eyes to see with. This is the mystery of the gospel: somehow, against all odds and in a different sphere that is at the same time invading our normal worlds, there is victory. To say that is "too good to be true" only goes to show we are in the middle of a story that has not yet ended.

The gospel differs from every other fairy tale, however: it's true.

Learn more about The God Anthology here.

Easter Baptism

2011-05-18T21:48:00.002-04:00

I think Easter is one of the most appropriate days to be dunked. This past Easter NCC baptized 18 people. I love my job. I get to do a lot of cool things. I get to grow in my gifts, and work with a team of some of the most encouraging people I know. But this, this video explains why I do what I do, and why I love it so much. When we were interviewing this particular group I had a moment during each person's testimony where I thought to myself: nothing else really matters all that much. The gospel really is enough.

Easter Baptisms at NCC from National Community Church on Vimeo.

Q & A With Dr. Bill Donahue

2011-04-11T10:46:00.011-04:00

Bill Donahue spoke at NCC's Leadership Summit on Saturday. On Friday night, our coaches (leaders of small group leaders) spent the evening in a Q &A session with Bill, firing away our burning leadership questions. I have over 5 pages of notes. At one point, Bill mentioned the value of older, seasoned voices. He said older voices can talk for 5 minutes and say something more valuable than us younger ones can say in two hours. Listening to Bill, I felt like I got two hours worth of five-minute wisdom.

His stories and experiences are the most powerful part of his communication, but there isn’t room enough here to do them justice. I’ll leave him to share his own stories, but below are my favorite questions and answers from the night:

1. How do you lead yourself well? (Basic disciplines of Bible reading, prayer, etc. assumed)

Keeping rhythms in spiritual formation is really important. There are seasons, gauges, and patterns. The question Bill asks himself is "am I honoring the rhythms I need to have in my life?” There are seasons for engagement in work, reflection, and listening to others. It’s easy to get caught up in the engagement rhythm without setting aside ample time to withdraw and reflect or listen to other voices in your life. We can buy into the lie of “if I’m not ‘on’ I won’t make money” or “if I don’t network with somebody today, I won’t have the contact tomorrow”. Figure out the rhythm of when you need to engage, and have the confidence to give a day to God and rest. You will realize you are not loosing a day – you’re gaining one.

2. How important is transparency in leadership?

Very important. We all have weaknesses, sin patterns, dreams, a story. In leadership, we can get to a place where we feel like we’re exhausting ourselves with a ton of work but we’re not connecting. Transparency is the connector.

3. What kind of advice do you have for young leaders?

1 Timothy 4:12. Be a learner, but set an example and share when you make progress. You will learn things that others have not learned. That is the reality, and there’s maturity in that. Continuing to be a learner keeps you from the place where you had some great stories… 20 years ago.

Learners have the ability to ask great questions. He encouraged us to ask people the top 5 questions they have on their mind.

4. Bill, what are the top 5 questions you are asking yourself? :)

Is transformation after 50 possible? Do I have anything to give back? Do people care what I say? You see the young rising energetic new leaders… what can I learn from them?

It's so easy to become rooted in patterns and habits, re-stumbling in the same areas. You begin to check the boxes: the retirement box, the vacation home box. But where is your growth edge?

Bill is learning that he has to trust his story. He said, "don’t ever discount your story. Wherever you are in life, you have a story and when people go “ahhh” that’s the place that their story has overlapped with yours. Trust what God has done in your life enough to share it with others".

5. How do you help people see that ministry is not about working in the margins of life when we have time, but about transforming everything we do?

People often see a separation between life and the kingdom. There are typically 3 things that God will use:

Circumstance - These are the people who had life carved out before God came. They were on the fast track at work, or work became a mindset that took over their entire life. God called them out or changed the circumstances. He does these things to show us the Spirit is taking us somewhere. "If you have ears turned to the spirit... turn left here."
A leader makes a bold ask for somebody to reevaluate their life.
Exposure Opportunities - Some people simply need an experience that exposes them to kingdom life and kingdom needs, an that changes everything.

6. How do you get leaders to come to training?
Bill shot back “does your training suck?”

The issue here isn't simply isolated to leaders and training. This applies to any relationship, organization, or group. When followers show resistance leadership should initially assume fault and try to figure how their leadership can improve (examples: Is leadership disconnected to those they lead? Is the product - in this case, training - quality? Is their approach actually helpful to those they lead?). Leadership should get the real story. There may very well be an issue on the side of the followers, but good leadership doesn't discount itself as part of the problem and solution.

As Bill answered this last question, I was reminded of a quote I read in The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. "Listen, you'd better talk to my people if you really want to know what kind of manager I am."

This Q & A time with Bill has given me a lot of meat to chew on. I hope it does you, too.

For more info about Bill's talk at our Leadership Summit, check out Will Johnston's blog.

I Fall - Learning To Take Things In Stride

2011-04-07T09:11:00.007-04:00

If you’re not falling, you're not having fun.

One of the beautiful things about DC is that it gets cold in the winter… which means it gets icy… which means people fall. And there are no gracious fallers. I’m not being mean, it applies to me, too. Once I was trying to get up a steep, icy hill to catch a bus. I was in a hurry. By the time I finally made it to the top, I’d fallen twice and was crawling.

I think the beauty of laughing over falling stories is that it’s never a finger-pointing laugh. As long as nobody is seriously hurt, I laugh because I relate. It’s always the moment when we feel like we’re taking life by the reigns, in control, really going somewhere that we get a little reminder: there’s a step there.

I already shared my story of falling down the steps of the Supreme Court, and about how I’m Not Cool. That’s not what this is about. This is about celebrating falling because it makes people laugh. And laughter is vital. Heather Zempel just posted a slew of falling stories, and my roommate Jenilee LeFors and I have decided to join in step. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself and each other… well then the joke is on you.

Jenilee first came to DC as protégé for NCC. Much to Heather’s chagrin, I brought her to the office a day early. We wound up staying after work late talking about young leadership, being a woman in ministry, and passion for Christ and the church. We were finding a lot in common and I think we all left genuinely encouraged and challenged. It was about 10:30pm when we left the office.

My apartment was about a 25-minute walk from the metro. Jenilee and I had two options: take the metro all the way to Ballston and walk 25 minutes in the dark. Or, get off at Rosslyn and take a bus that dropped us off at our front door. The preferable bus option left exactly 7 minutes to get from Union Station to Rosslyn. Albeit the infrequency of trains at 10:30pm on a weeknight, we managed to make it to Rosslyn with two minutes to climb two escalators. We ran for it.

At the top of the first escalator, I began to lose balance and was unable to recover. I fell, no slid (maybe flew) on my stomach for about 5 feet. My hands and feet spread out for balance though balance was unachievable. My bag flung around my shoulder and landed several feet in front of me.

My thought process went a little like this: Oh no, I’m going to fall. Before that thought could be completed… Shoot, I just bought this light-khaki bag and I don’t want to get it dirty. Must not drop. Next thought… this is going to be embarrassing. Before that thought ended… who cares what people think or the bag. This is too funny.

Mid way through the fall I lost control of the bag. We missed the bus. I’m pretty sure we got a taxi, and we had a good laugh.

Within the next year, Jenilee tripped over a bunch of trampolines at Catalyst and Heather tumbled down the steps of the Lincoln memorial. I’m in good company, and I’m thankful for friends who will laugh with me. I think there is a theory that you tend to attract those of your own kind.

So here’s my question to you: when was the last time you laughed at yourself for doing something ridiculously stupid? If you cannot remember, that is a bad sign. If you can, please leave the story below :)

For more fun falling stories, check out Will Johnston's blog.

Find a Potential Leader

2011-04-05T14:09:00.008-04:00

Find a potential leader.

You’re choosing a potential leader, not a fully developed leader. Your job as the leader will be to distinguish between what can be learned and barriers to leadership. Mechanics of leadership and skills development can be taught. Motivation to lead or the desire to grow spiritually are things even the best leaders can’t impart to somebody.

Paul's letter to Titus gives us great examples of qualities to look for in potential leaders: hospitable, lover of good, self-controlled. They must hold firm to the truth of the gospel. Paul tells Titus to lead by example - "show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity..." - but tells him to find leaders who display qualities of spiritual leadership.

Tips and Tricks:

Don’t say somebody’s “no” for them. This is a great post - The Gift of Rejection
Potential leaders should show commitment to the group - do they come to group regularly?
Potential leaders should be capable to lead - is this a person of integrity? Do they lead themselves well? Are they a team player?

Most potential leaders will show commitment and capability but often lack confidence. That’s where your affirmation and discipleship comes in.

If you can’t find a potential leader in your group… don’t be so picky! Remember, Jesus told us to make disciples, not find them. They just need to display some potential. (Heather Zempel has a great post on making vs finding disciples)

Jenilee's Big Booty Party

2011-04-01T11:22:00.004-04:00

I'm wearing a pirate hat and a hook today, no fooling. Though my pirate accent has much to be desired (trust me I'm working on it), I'm taking the opportunity to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend and roommate.

Jenilee LeFors turns 26 tomorrow. For her birthday she asked for one thing: a well. She's using her birthday as an opportunity to give the gift of clean water through mycaritywater.org.

Here’s how it works. It costs $5,000 to dig a well in a community that needs clean water. That’s a lot of booty. So Jenilee is using her birthday to loot and plunder to raise the money. Tomorrow night, Heather Zempel and I are hosting Jenilee’s Big Booty Party. It’s pirate-themed and costumes are strongly encouraged (hence, the hat and hook). We invited a shipload of her friends and asked them to bring loot to contribute to the well. But you don’t have to attend the party to contribute. Even landlubbers can give to the cause. And that’s what I’m asking you to do.

Give $26 (or more!) towards Jenilee’s well.

Arrrrrg,

Involve Your Group

2011-03-30T08:59:00.007-04:00

Not sure who you should raise up to leadership?

Let me tell you a story about one potential leader who snuck her way into leadership through organizing snacks.

AJ is an administrative queen. Just over a year ago, she was in the position many young professionals in DC find themselves in, and that is the position of walking. Few of us lucky ducks have cars here. Normally that’s not a problem because the metro system is so great, but it’s never great for transporting large amounts of groceries and AJ is a meal planner.

I picked AJ up right after lunch on a Sunday afternoon. Not surprisingly, she had printed off the directions to the store. “You are a total J” I said. She had no idea what a “J” meant, so I described the Meyers Briggs personality test. She didn’t like the term Judging.

In the process of explaining, I come to realize that not only has AJ printed out the directions, but she has also made a very complete list of the ingredients she needs for the next two weeks. Additionally, she went to the Harris Teeter website and priced out each item to make sure she stayed within budget. All great examples of her J-ness.

Truth be told, it was precisely her J-ness tendencies that made her such a great leader within our small group. I mentioned that I was a “P” and P’s have a tendency to take life as it comes. This information did not shock her. Before AJ graciously took over snacks, it would dawn on me about 10 minutes prior to group that I should scrounge the cupboards to see what we had. I could always count on the popcorn stash since it had been there for 2 years already. Ever since AJ used her queen admin skills to create a schedule, people were happy to contribute and we were eating like royalty in comparison.

About that time in the conversation we pulled into the parking spot and I said something very, very stupid. I told her that my snack methods were a perfect example of my P-ness.

Followed was awkward silence, which, luckily, was followed by laughter.

Give people in your group opportunities to lead and help according to their gifts. This means you will have to look for their strengths. Calling those gifts out in people can be the single most encouraging thing you do for those you lead. It also means you should make the needs of the group known. Most of the time, group members are very willing to step up and help once they are aware of what needs to be done.

The beauty about giving other people opportunities to lead is that it helps you identify potential leaders.

The next semester AJ led her own small group.

Introduce Leadership Development Early

2011-03-28T09:28:00.005-04:00

Introduce leadership development early.

By the time you’re in a bind to figure out what to do with your group for next semester, it’s too late! Developing new leaders is not damage control, it’s discipleship. Casting this vision early is the perfect opportunity to speak life and purpose in your group. Let the group know early in the semester that you’re praying for God to raise one of them up to leadership. For the natural leaders in your group, this will tap into and fuel their desire to lead.

One slight disclaimer: Real situations.

Maybe we should introduce the idea of leadership development early, but it doesn't always happen. Or the person we began to disciple changed their mind about leadership. Or maybe your group has become so tight that you don’t want the dynamics to change.

There will always be tension between what goes down in group life and the ideal scenario. Though they rarely seem to align, having guidelines in mind will help us navigate real situations. The way those situations are navigated will determine the quality of our leadership.

Don’t loose the objective amidst the obstacles. The objective is to disciple leaders - to teach the truths of the gospel to faithful people who will be able to do the same (2 Tim. 2:2).

Even if its not necessarily early anymore... introduce leadership (again).

Never Lead Alone

2011-03-23T13:35:00.003-04:00

Good leaders can lead group discussion, have food prepared, keep the prayer list updated, host social gatherings. Good leaders are the jack-of-all-trade kinds of people.

Great leaders take people with them.

Most of us don’t think about developing a new leader until our group has reached overflow status. Or we’re worn out. Then we get a co-leader to lessen the burden. By the time we’re at the point where we need a new leader, the group has become a problem to manage and not a discipleship opportunity to steward.

That’s how I felt at the end of the summer last year. The idea of a co-leader was a glorious reprieve. I’d been leading small groups alone ever since… well actually ever since I started leading groups at NCC. Big mistake.

I wasn’t doing my group any favors, I certainly wasn’t doing myself a favor, and my leadership was, sadly, mediocre. Feeling burnt out made me reevaluate my gifts, my roles, and my plate size.

In the process I learned one basic leadership principle: great leaders take people with them. They don’t do it alone. Consequently, great leaders have a tendency to replicate themselves.

The following are six points from an imperfect strategy for developing new leaders by including them in what you’re already leading. I’ll expand more on them individually over the next few days. They aren’t things I’ve mastered, but lessons I’m learning. They are principles that great leaders who have led me seem to repeatedly practice.

1. Introduce Leadership Development Early.

2. Utilize the Group’s Strengths.

3. ID Potential Leader.

4. Disciple Your New Leader.

5. Celebrate the New Leader’s Role.

6. Coach the New Leader.

Discipleship vs. Damage Control

2011-03-22T10:39:00.006-04:00

We’re almost half way through the small group semester, and small groups are not small anymore. They’re large groups.

Here’s a big question I’m asking right now: What do we do about large groups?

Jesus prayed a prayer for the church when he was dying on the cross. John 17 says that Jesus wants believers to be unified just as he and the father are unified. Practically speaking, that means small groups need to be… small. I’m certainly not wired to be one as Christ and the Father are one with 20 or 30 people. I’m wired to be one with two or three or five.

There’s no magical small group number. The reality is that people come to groups with different expectations about community. We need to make our best effort to keep small groups to a size where people feel comfortable plugging in and not lost in a crowd. And the group needs to fit in a living room! That means we need more leaders.

But leaders don’t just pop up out of thin air.

There’s a link between the gospel and understanding the task to develop new leaders. One of the places it's found is in 2 Timothy 2:2 - ... teach these truths to faithful men who are about to teach them to others also. We see this lived out in the relationships between Jesus and his disciples (especially the inner 3), Barnabas and Paul, then Paul and Titus, and Paul and Timothy.

Paul’s letters to Timothy are the final letters from a mentor to a young leader and pastor. He’s commissioning Timothy to develop leaders in the church to steward the legacy of the gospel.

If you are called to leadership and discipleship as Timothy was, you’re also called to develop leaders in the same way. I’m becoming more and more convinced that the issue of large groups is not a problem to be solved, it’s a discipleship opportunity to develop.

Raising up a new leader is discipleship, not damage control. It’s not a solution to an overflow problem, but the natural and primary task of leaders.

Auto Theology

2011-03-14T22:41:00.008-04:00

Friday morning I walked out the door to find my car window smashed. Blood was all over the dash and the door, and the interior panel was bent. The stereo was missing.

The following few hours were a flurry: I felt sad that the gift my dad bought me was mangled. The damaged looked expensive to fix. Good thing I was not around when it happened. Would my insurance actually give me what I need to pay for this? Oh shoot, did I get rid of my comprehensive coverage? Wow, watching the cop take evidence was really fascinating… how am I going to get to around now? I just bought that stereo three months ago!

It was the kind of situation where theology all of a sudden became practical.

Two days later, my boyfriend called me. He had just been in a car accident. He is fine, but the car was smashed to smithereens.

Coincidence? Chance? Providence? Our choice of schedule?

We found ourselves asking the same questions on the same weekend. We echoed conversations on providence and foreknowledge we had just days earlier in Theology 101, except this time within the context of real situations.

So what did we do? We had fun.

We went to a long dinner. Watched a movie. I’m not a movie follower (to an embarrassing extent – I still haven’t seen The Shawshank Redemption, Gone With The Wind or have completed The Lord of the Rings trilogy) so we just went to the theater and saw the next playing show that looked good to us: The Adjustment Bureau.

We couldn’t believe it as we sat in the theater. Jeff said “definitely God’s providence we saw that film”, to which I immediately replied “good movie choice”.

By the end of the weekend, we were still bouncing around the same questions, taking sides for the sake of discussion. Reaching stalemates and becoming more comfortable with paradoxes.

I still have more questions than answers. But what I do have is a process that God took us through. A process where, in the grand scheme of things the cost of a couple of cars is actually quite insignificant compared to the value of the lesson. When the rubber meets the road (it’s never too soon for a cheesy pun) and our theology is put into practice, do we choose to trust the providence of God? Do we grow from the situation? Do we love him more? Is he glorified?

The Gap

2011-03-07T16:15:00.003-05:00

In the beginning was… shalom. Everything was the way it was created to be. It was good. The creation account shows God’s creation being satisfied and whole – in work, in community, and in God. Then it all fell apart. We all know the story. We have brokenness where wholeness once was. All creation seems to know it. The apple left the taste of an appetite that cannot be satisfied.

The state of the fall is an insatiable, unquenchable desire for more.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon says that God has put eternity in the hearts of men and trying to satisfy that longing with a substitute is meaningless, in vain, and futile. It is like chasing the wind. The tragedy in the Fall is that people move from their delight and dependence in God to trying and failing to find that satisfaction in something else. It always backfires.

CS Lewis said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

That’s the reason we did From Garden To City. To be introduced to this other world, to God’s story… to God. There’s a pattern: creation, fall, redemption, and recreation.

But what about today? Creation: check. Fall: double check. Redemption… half check? A sometimes check? Fullness, the recreation is still to come. Somewhere in the redemption process, we learn that faith comes with a level of risk. The risk is living like the gospel is true in a world that screams its falsehood. It’s having the guts to pray, “your kingdom come in my generation, in my life, in my city on earth, as it is in Heaven”. It’s a risk to go through the process of redemption. It’s a risk to live out the commission given in a perfect setting to “fill the earth and subdue it” within the context of a fallen world. There are beautiful things like friendship and love that seem to hint at the fullness we long for, but there are also unanswered questions and things we don’t understand. We find ourselves squished in the tension between what Christ has accomplished and experiencing that victory in full fruition.

In the gap between the garden in Genesis and the city in Revelation is God’s story of his grace. The crux is the person and work of Jesus Christ. We have glorious glimpses of how it ends and the guarantee of the Holy Spirit, but He is still writing his story.

In Chronicles 20, the Israelites learn about God’s faithfulness in the gap. They learn to praise God in the gap, surrounded by barriers and battles (specifically the Ammonites). God says in 20:15-17:

“Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s… You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed… the Lord will be with you.”

In the tension, God reminds them something about himself that is still true today: He takes our struggles upon himself and we become free worshipers. That’s the point of his story.

From Garden To City, The End

2011-03-07T15:36:00.005-05:00

I'm on staff at National Community Church in Washington, DC. As a church, we've have spent the last year reading through the Bible together from a plan called "From Garden To City". Small groups read it together, and the message reflected what we read each week. It ran from Lent 2010 to Lent 2011. Our staff blogged through the Bible (some of my posts are on this blog, but I'd encourage you to check out what my co-workers have written on www.fromgardentocity.com). As lent is quickly approaching, I just blogged my last G2C post. I feel a little sad for the end of a season, but I can't help but think of the big win: some people read the Bible from cover to cover for the first time! Things like that make me grateful for the privilege of doing what I do.

The end. :)

Theology 101

2011-03-04T15:56:00.006-05:00

This semester I’m in the small group Theology 101. A few days after our first meeting, I was sitting in the office space above Ebenezers Coffeehouse. It was a clear, beautiful day and I was near the window catching the best of the sun and new spring heat. I was actually writing this very blog when Heather, Will, and Josh (my trusty Discipleship Team members) all stampede through the door. My first thought: “Oh dear. This must be an intervention”. And yes, it was. Will shouts out, “You believe Jesus had original sin?!?”

For the record, I do not believe Jesus had original sin. That would be heretical.

But that moment - and many other moments since that first week of Theology 101 - sparked numerous such discussions. It’s been great for team bonding! In the process, I realized that it’s very possible I did my Biblical education backwards. Actually, “backwards” is too strong. It did prepare me for ministry. But it’s been five years that I have been in some form of ministry and out of college. I’m finding I need it again. I need Theology 101 because I’ve been in ministry.

We’re reading exactly the same book I read when I sat in Wally Kowalski’s Systematic Theology 101 class, Who Needs Theology? by Stanley Grenz. I’m pleasantly reminded that God invites the PhD and the lay person alike to study His nature and character. Grenz titles his books with a rhetorical question. Everyone needs theology. Everyone has thoughts about God. We’re all theologians. I hope that by the end of the semester everyone in the group considers himself (or herself!) one.

Regardless of if we’re in full time vocational ministry, a volunteer leader, or simply a believer in the workplace, you are a theologian. The question is “will we be a good one?”

Between Grenz and the small group, I’m encouraged again, just like in college, to be both a smart theologian and a humble one, too.

The goal of theology is to know God better. The purpose, to love him more. The objective, to be worshipers. The outcome, to love better. After all, we are told to be prepared to give an answer to what we believe. But we’re also called to love our neighbor as ourselves. That’s theology in action.

Definition: Love

2011-02-03T17:09:00.004-05:00

Love. What is love? It’s insanely personal. No one fully understands it yet we all crave it. And we seem to love everything…

I love my friends, I love my job, I love breakfast, photography, apologetics, soy vanilla lattes, the color orange, and I really really love sushi. Love is a tiny word that covers a magnitude of emotions. I’m not saying we use it carelessly; we simply mean different things depending on the context.

If we’re not careful, we can use the word love like we use the word “very”. It becomes exclamatory or emphatic.

But we are curious about deep love. If we define love by how we feel about something, then love differs from person to person and varies by circumstance. That is simply opinion based on emotion, subject to change. Justin Bieber is a wonderful example. I personally don’t love him… but I know many a teenage girl (and one roommate) head over shoulders over heels! :)

The Greek can be very helpful in defining love because it differentiates the dimensions of love we humans experience. Eros means “desire”. Eros is passionate longing: sexual desire, the artist for art, the student for mastery. When there’s an intense wanting that bursts from your gut and occupies thoughts, sways emotions, sends hormones flying… you are experiencing eros. Left unchecked, eros turns into idolatry. Sanctified, eros is, as Peter Kreeft says, “the appetizer for agape.”

Another form of love Greek distinguishes is storge. Storge is a feeling of affection. It’s nostalgia from an old photograph or fond memory, compassion that bubbles up when you see a need, or the warmth from sitting around a campfire with your favorite people.

Phileo is friendship love. It’s the least obligatory of all loves and therefore the most complimentary. We may come to “storge” our siblings, but we phileo our friends. It is given freely but requires reciprocation.

The human loves begin to hint at something more. We learn by experience that love is defined by the lover, never by the object. And the deeper the commitment, the more pure the love. Love is, then, the willing of another’s good – whatever the cost. The deepest love needs the commitment of covenant. Conditional love is an incomplete love. You can eros your date, but you promise to be loving to your spouse. Christ and his bride are not represented by boyfriends and girlfriends, but by covenant.

In such a covenant we find the God love. Agape love. Compared to agape, all the other human loves are merely like a child playing dress up in a fine department store.

As God is not a feeling, agape is not a feeling. Agape needs no emotional attachment to function. It does not seek to satisfy a need like eros, and does not require affection like storge. It is given freely like phileo but needs no return. It has nothing to do with the object of love, but reflects the character of the lover himself. In order for agape to love, it does not need to like.

God is love (1 John 4:8). That statement is the most powerful and profound thing we will ever come across. God’s love is powerful because it is the fuel behind every good. It is profound because it changes everything about our lives. God has not kept it from us, and it can never be earned: just received. Why? For no other reason than because God loved. Simply because. Because God loves us, we are free to love our neighbor, to pray for our enemy, and to outdo one another in showing honor… even without return.

The Definition of Love: This is love, that he laid down his life for us (1 John 3:16). He loved us first. The proof is in the cross.

What I'm Looking Forward To

2011-01-31T11:55:00.006-05:00

I took the semester off from leading a group to do a study about the love of God. I’ll never master it, and I’m quite happy to know it’s inexhaustible and mysterious. I chose love because if I'm honest with myself (and I usually am), it's the one I grapple with the most and relate to the least. I'm very comfortable with the justice, jealousy, and justification of God. I think his mercy in those is what makes the Gospel so... astounding.

His love, however, has a quality that is to me like one of those kid's toys that are slippery, gel-filled tubes. I think they're called water snakes. You can never quite hold on to them. As soon as you think you've gotten it, it flies right out of your hand. I think that’s how the love of God is. The moment we think we understand it is the moment he does something unexpected. I know I will not completely understand the love of God in one semester, but I am looking forward to grasping - just a little bit more - the width and length and height and depth of God's love. The Apostle Paul said that all God's people should.