Unleash the true you....

2017-08-04T11:10:00.002-07:00

Not everyone knows I have random anxiety attacks. During those attacks, my mind goes blank and the muscles in my body goes numb disabling me to function as a normal human being.

Ok. That was an exaggeration. But I think you all get the gist.

Though life won't stop and adjust for me so I still have to force myself to do the daily tasks at hand. Recently I was given a huge task that ate almost 2 days of my week. I am not complaining, mind you. My body functioned like it usually did when I'm pressed with time, it releases chemicals in my body decreasing my sleep but instead of increasing my alertness, it causes my body to feel sluggish and my brain to go "Bzzzt bzzzt bzzzzt".

During those 2 days, I'm glad I am backed up by empowered co-leaders and my spiritual love tank is full. The whole day I was praying so as not to make a mistake. But hey, if it's a first, there will definitely be a few errors here and there and that's how we grow right?

I am glad I still got to put on the complete armor of God (Ephesians 6:11) and we were able to complete our task on time with minimal errors. Yay!

And you know what's the best part? God's timing is and will always be perfect. I just got my reward from Him today! Thank You so much for taking care of my business as I took care of Yours. ❤❤❤

Thank You!☝️

P.s.
If you experience the same thing, it's ok. Don't deny your emotions. YOU ARE HUMAN after all. Feel your feelings for a while but do what you have to do. Do not allow your emotions to get the best of you and paralyze you in the process. Remember, you are backed up by a BIG GOD. He has your back. ALWAYS. 😊

What's your story?

2017-02-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

Everybody has a story to tell.

Recently, I've started interviewing people's blessing stories for the weekly bulletin I volunteer to write and proofread for.

When I joined the Print Media ministry last 2011, there were only a handful of people who volunteered to lend their time and talent for service. I originally joined as a writer but when I got hold of a DSLR camera, I switched to being a photographer. I can serve either way.

Now, one of our main task as a writers is to look for stories. Almost every week we need to look either for servant's stories or blessing sharing of the attendees. It became my training ground in asking people for their stories. It also honed my way of thinking in finding the extraordinary in their so called ordinary (what they always say) stories.

I believe we can all learn from everyone that we meet everyday. It doesn't matter what their occupation, education, or experience may be. We can all learn what we want to be, and the mannerisms and attitude we don’t want to emulate from them.

We just have to listen from the heart.

p.s.

I can also help you write for you. Send me an e-mail at abcminilibrary@gmail.com

What are you thinking?

2017-01-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

Thoughts, positive or negative, grow stronger together when fertilized with constant repetition. That may explain why so many who are gloomy and gray stay in that mood, and why others who are cheery and enthusiastic continue to be so, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Please do not misunderstand. Happiness (like winning) is a matter of right thinking, not intelligence, age or position. Our performance is directly related to the thoughts we deposit in our memory bank. We can only draw on what we deposit.

What kind of performance would your car deliver if every morning before you left for work you scooped up a handful of dirt and put it in your crankcase? The fine tuned engine would soon be coughing and sputtering. Ultimately, it would refuse to start. The same is true of your life. Thoughts about yourself and attitudes toward others that are narrow, destructive and abrasive produce wear and tear on your mental motor. They send you off the road while others drive past.

- Charles Swindoll

Thank You Daddy God for 2016

2017-01-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

Another year passed by so quickly.

Dreams were born.
Goals were accomplished.
Blessings overflowed.
Old friends remained.
New friends were made.
Retired from employment.
Hello full time entrepreneurship.

Thank you Daddy God for making 2016 A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

2017 has arrived.
New goals will be made.
A new course has been mapped.
I'll continue my life journey.

No resolutions this year.
Only a commitment to becoming a better Apple this 2017. 😊

P.S. Daddy God, I'm expecting great things from You on my birthday this year. I know You will make it happen for I will go all out and give it with everything I have.

Light

2016-10-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

"You can never run away from God's love."

There are times when the only thing I can see is darkness. But during those times, I am relieved whenever I see even just a hint of faint light at the end of this never ending tunnel. Most of the time I forget to even look for the light that I get lost and at times, I give up looking for it.

During those times, I would feel a gentle tap on my shoulder and a warm hand touching mine. The hand would then pull me up and give me a hug so tight that I have to pull away from the cozy snug so I can breathe. But the person won't budge an inch.

After the agonizing moment of being embraced, I was only released to gasp for a second then that same tender hand pulled me towards a direction I don't know. It was only when I looked up that I noticed the light in front of us. I don't know how long we walked but I allowed myself to follow the stranger.

I'm happy I followed the stranger for as we a nearing the light, we are welcomed by an army of angels and cherubins singing praises to Him. I came to a realization that oftentimes, God uses people to bring us back to Him. I'm blessed I am surrounded by a family who, for me is the epitome of God's true love here on earth.

photo source:

http://narusailor.deviantart.com/art/Elric-Family-Chibi-244628104

Stories Trapped Inside

2016-10-07T21:52:00.001-07:00

What's that? That pippittypapitty sound? I moved my right foot in front of me and then the left next the right again until I completed 20 steps ahead. It's not that I am counting my steps because I want to. But instinctively, my mind started with one as I moved forward, then two, until I was put to a halt because of the hard wall in front of me. Mind you, the only thing I can see right now is pitch black.

Tha-thump, ba-dump, tha-thump, tha-thump...

My heartbeat is ringing loudly in my ears now and is the only thing I can hear aside from my breathing. I tried going back to where I came from but was only given the chance to move an inch backward.

'I can't go back either! What is going on here?'

I only felt the rough course of plywood, (this is only based on what I feel, ok?), as I tried to search for either a knob or lever, or anything I can use to open whatever this thing is that is front of me. It seemed liked minutes have passed and I now hear, 'OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod... OhmyGoddd' repeatedly inside my head and my ragged breathing.

I am now using both hands to search for that one lever or knob that can open this, I presume it's a door, in front of me. I frantically searched from top to bottom, left to right, stretched both arms wide until, 'Yeowch!' It stings. I think I pricked my fingers. It smells like rust. And when I licked my forefinger, I wasn't surprised when I felt thick liquid ooze into my tongue.

I wanted to slouched on the floor if not for that hard thing on my back. I can only stand up and bow my head, bite my lower lip trying to hold back the salty water in dripping from my eyes. 'Damn it!' Closing my eyes shut, I let myself stand still for more than a minute. '10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5....' I counted while inhaling from my diaphragm and exhaling through my teeth in between to calm myself.

It was only when I was completely silent that I heard that whooshing sound nearby. 'Was it there before?' I opened my eyes expecting to see something but I was welcomed again by my dear friend darkness. This time, I calmly threaded the hard wall in front of me and was surprised by the cold metal I discovered right under my nose in front of me. Bewildered, I pulled the metal towards me but nothing happened. I tried pushing it but it didn't budge a bit. Then I pulled it downwards and suddenly, silvery smoke whooshed from all over the place.

(Cough, cough, ugh, cough!)

My eyes are now blinded by bright light and smoke as the door, (see, I was right all along! It was a door!) opened wide in front of me. Remember that pipittypapitty sound? It's louder than before. The sound is now chorused with the calm twanging of a violin, chirping of birds, and children laughing! Why, there are even male and female voices chattering in different languages?! There are even wolves howling in a distance and constant clanging of metal all over. I can hear bells ringing and waves splashing on the seashore. I want to see them all!

As soon as I tried opening my eyes when I felt the smoke dissipating slowly, the sounds that I heard disappeared and was replaced by the constant beep, beeeep of the jeepney I'm riding on the way to the pilgrimage today.

'Oh, I'm back."

#theyellowapple
#storiestrappedinside
#projectbeautifulwords

Meet our Writing Mentor

2016-09-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Let today be the mark of new beginnings and different portals opening to new adventures. I would like to honor our writing mentor, @karrenrenzsena for selflessly giving us everything we need as we embark on our journey to writing powerful stories. I know I mentioned this before but your book, The Lost Chronicles of Eden: Champions ignited a tiny spark of hope in my heart to write again. That tini tiny spark grew into an ember when I attended your Project: Beautiful Words workshop last year. And this year, because of your Project: Beautiful Words Phase Two - How to Tell Powerful Stories, that ember burst into flames. Your passion in writing is impeccable. Thank you for the trust. Thank you for believing in us. Thank you because I can feel again and use those feelings to strongly convey my message through writing stories. I can now say, I'm a writer na. Yay! Hokage sensei, honto, domo arigato gozaimasu! 🙇🙇🙇 @projectbeautifulwords

P.s.
I'm so excited to create the world of Thomas, Timothy and Tabitha! 👆☝❤❤❤

#theyellowapple
#ringowritesagain
#projectbeautifulwords
#leapoffaith

Bulong

2016-09-17T07:53:00.001-07:00

I am but one tiny voice in a swarm of more than a hundred million population in this country. I love my country and am clearly devastated and frustrated seeing my fellow men trying to tear each other apart. We're like a pack of rabid dogs fighting over a big bone, not realizing that while we are fighting with each other, we are all being surrounded by a bigger and fiercer enemy, who, once they see that everyone is tired and incapable to defend the pack, will start a sudden attack. Who will defend our own country, hindi ba tayo rin mismo? When will we realize this? When it's too late? I hope not. I pray not. I implore you my fellow Filipinos. Even if you don't like our current president, try to, at least, love your own country. Not for yourself, but for your kids, for your family, for the future generation.

Pahingi

2016-07-06T16:39:00.002-07:00

Nakapila ako kanina sa terminal going to Ayala ng biglang lumapit ang isang batang nakaputing blouse at checkered na red, black and white na palda. Nagulat ako ng bigla niyang inextend ang kamay niya at nanghingi ng pera. Napansin yata niyang hindi ko siya mapagbibigyan (medyo natulala ako ng saglit) dahil umalis bigla sa harap ko at nagpatuloy manghingi sa sumunod sa akin sa pila.

Akala ko mag-isa lang siya pero napa-"Hala!" ako ng nakita kong sinamahan siya ng isa pang nakaunipormeng batang babae na mas matangkad at mas matanda sa kanya. Bigla siyang sinabayan nito at tag team silang nanghingi sa mga nakapila. Hindi pa sapat iyon at pati ang mga nagaabang ng jeep hiningan din nila.

99% hindi sila pinagbigyan. May mga mangilan ngilan ding napilitang magbigay dahil sa aggresibong pamamaraan nila ng panghihingi. Mayrong, kakalabitin ka sa tagiliran at paulit ulit na sasabihing, "Ate palimos, ate palimos, ate palimos." Minsan naman, hindi aalis sa harapan mo, tititigan ka at nakapamuswang ang kanang kamay ng panghihingi at mukhang sanay na sila sa ginagawa nila.

Pinagmasdan ko sila ng ilang minuto at nagulumihanan ako. Bakit ganoon? Uso na ba manghingi ngayon? Pilit kong iniisip ang dahilan nila sa panghihingi. "Baka hindi nabigyan ng baon. Baka may kailangan sa eskwela at walang pambayad. Baka... baka... at marami pang baka..."

Normal na manghingi ng tulong kapag nangangailangan ang isang tao. Pero normal ba ang mamalimos sa kalsada ng naka-uniporme bago pumasok sa eskwela?

Naalala ko dati nung highschool ako at kapag may "gusto" kaming bilhin na maikokonsiderang "luho" ng mga kapanahunang iyon, pinagtatrabahuhan namin.

During summer, nagbabantay at nagsisilbing kahera kami sa tindahan sa Mandaluyong. Kapag New Year nun, pagkasara ng tindahan tumutulong kaming magbilang kung ilang kilo ng pako o ilang sako na ng semento ang natitira para sa yearly inventory count.

Tuwing pasukan naman, may mga instances na nagdadala ako ng tig-pipisong Clover Bits sa school para magbenta.

Nung college naman, bumibili ako ng Kettle Corn na popcorn sa halagang sampung piso at binebenta ko ito ng dose pesos. Umabot pa sa puntong dahil pinagbawalan ang malaking bag sa amin, pinapadala ko pa ito sa kapatid kong high school that time. Para maipagpatuloy ko ito.

Hindi ko alam ang sitwasyon ng dalawang batang namamalimos. Posibleng yun lang ang alam nilang paraan para may maibaon papasok. Pero napagisip isip ako dahil dumadami na ang namamalimos, sa kalsada, sa terminal o sakayan mapa sa city o probinsya.

Pero bakit merong ibang kabataan na napapanuod sa tv na nagagawan ng paraan magbenta ng bote at bakal para may maipambaon sa eskwela. Meron naman akong nadadaanang bata dati na nag-aaral sa ilalim ng ilaw ng poste sa may kanto sa Muzon habang nagtitinda ng balot, penoy at chicharon.

So now, I'm asking you, "Ang pamamalimos ba ay natural sa isang tao o natututunan?"

The Voice

2016-07-05T05:22:00.001-07:00

"Whose voice will you listen to?

Will you listen to the soothing warm deep voice that so cunningly lures you into sin?

Or will you listen to that silence? That defeaning nothingness that allows you to discern if what you are about to do is right or wrong? That silent voice that gives you the gift of gap and free will to choose to do what is right... even though most of the time... you prefer doing what is most convenient instead.

Whose voice are you listening to?

Choose. It's time to decide."

Life's Lessons: Commuter Edition

2016-06-20T18:40:00.001-07:00

All the fx in the terminal going to Ayala already left when I arrived. So what's my next option? Wait for one coming from I don't know where to arrive.

I positioned myself where I can see if one is nearing even from afar and noticed a handful who seem to have the same intention, but are comfortably hidden under the shade of a building in the vicinity.

Thank God I only waited for 5 minutes when a van arrived. I hailed it and waited for it to stop in front of me. I then noticed that the lady from the shade was suddenly at my back.

As the door of the van opened and it halted to a stop, and the driver said, "Isa lang po ah. Isa lang po."

The lady tried to overtake me and I had to take action and got inside before her. Thank God nakasakay na ako. 😥

Life's lessons commuter edition:
1. Always be alert and ready. Palaging maging handa sa paparating ng fx.
2. Know what you want and position yourself to where you can easily get it. Pumosisyon ka kung saan mas madali kang makakasakay ng fx (except if nasa pila ka, pumila ka ng maayos. Respetuhin mo mga nauna sa iyo sa pila).
3. Do not let other people takeover, especially if you know your place. Lalo na kapag nagmamadali ka. Huwag mong hayaang unahan ka lalo na kung ikaw naman na talaga ang naunang dapat na sumakay.
4. Always be grateful. Magpasalamat ka palagi lalo na kapag nakasakay ka na at comfortable na ang biyahe mo papasok.

😂

Have a great day everyone! 😁

Ode to my Papa

2016-06-19T01:15:00.001-07:00

Dearest Papa,

Remember the time when I played with tissue and black pentel pen? I scribbled on a torn piece of tissue, glued some scotch tape on the clean side and slapped it on above my lips. I then grabbed your extra pair of spectacles inside the drawer of your bedside table, put it on and stared in the reflection in front of me. I sported a short hairstyle back then and my hair slightly moved as I nodded in approval. Yep. I look like your "mini-me" now. I still remember your amused facial expression as I welcomed you home still wearing the black tissue mustache and eyeglasses. I was 7 or 8 that time.

Remember that time when you caught me staring in front of the monitor? I was staring at the list of names in the PRC website. You just came home from work and even had that wide expectant smile on your face. I think I learned the skill of blinking 60 times per minute that time as I was trying to hold back something from escaping my eyes. You noticed my expression and steadied yourself at the back of my chair. You ruffled my hair and patted my back when you said,"Ok lang yan anak. May susunod pa." Those words were such comfort for someone like me who took the exam just so I can make you proud. I was 20 yrs old that time.

Pa, do you also remember those months when I decided to give the board exam another chance? Those Saturday mornings when you and mama had to wake up early even during weekends just so you can sundo me from work near Eastwood and hatid me to CPAR. How about come October of 2010? Do you also remember the phone call you made while you are still in the office? You just said,"Pol, check mo nga yung site ng PRC." I almost had a mini heart attack right there and then. Come evening, I can't wait for your arrival as I fidgeted on the sofa. And as you entered the door, I shouted, "Pa! CPA na po ako!" And no, I did not cry. I was 23 yrs old that time.

All these years you kept on insisting I'm like mama. You kept on saying that I should be like mama, that Iook like mama. But do you realize that I also inherited some of your traits as well?

Remember, I have your blood running in my veins. You can't help it. Ever since I was a little girl, I tried my best to be like you. From my intentional playful imitation of your image to wanting to have the same profession as yours. It is all because of you papa. I am proud that I am your daughter.

From your simple gesture of making sure that we have food on the table. And at times you insist that you drive us to school, to work, to the Feast, to the airport, to Bataan, to Gapan and now, to Sante. You even drove as far from Binangonan to Lifehomes in the middle of the night with mama because wala akong masakyan dahil ang lakas ng ulan noon. Even your daily reminder that we should get enough sleep at night or that we should eat fruits and veggies during meal times, we know and feel your love for us.

On this day, I would like to honor you as our papa. May God bless you more and grant the wishes of your heart. I pray for good health and longer life for you papa.

Remember? You still owe me that dance on my wedding day.

Happy Father's Day pa!

Skulls and Mirrors

2016-06-16T17:00:00.001-07:00

a mini story by ringoki

He looked at the alarm clock atop his bedside table. It is an hour and a half past midnight. He knows he should be in bed right now in deep sleep, but obviously he isn't.

He is currently propped on the floor, both arms holding a colorful Lego piece. He scanned the room and noticed at least 50 pieces scattered all over the room. "Sigh, I need to tidy this up after or else I'll die a painful death if I accidentally stepped on one.", he chuckled. It was a joke. But corny as it may seem, it still made him laugh.

He continued assembling the Lego parts, red atop another red, then blue to the black part. Another hour and a half passed by when a glint of light caught his left peripheral view. He turned his head and almost scampred away by what he saw, it was a flaming skull in the mirror!

He caught himself trembling in his place when it moved unceremoniously inside the mirror. The ghoulish skull was trying to break out from inside it, but it can't. It can only glide from left to right, or top to bottom, with fire and smoke following its trail.

His attention was caught again by another glint of light, but this time, it was from the silver beaded rosary hanging on one of his bedpost. It is quite mysterious as the rosary was slowly swishing from side to side, but the weird part is, the cold air inside his room comes from the aircon. Staring at the rosary's pendulum like swish, he can't help but think that it is inviting him to grab it.

Craa-ckk

He was caught off guard when he whirled his head towards where the mirror is and his eyes almost bulged out from his sockets when he was locked into a stare with the socket of the skull! It noticed his presence and was trying to break through the mirror!

Crrra-ckkkkk

Aghhh--- he can't find his voice! The air was filled with colder air mixed with the smell of smoke coming from the mirror. Wisps of smoke were slowly penetrating from the tiny cracks and filling the room.

Bam! Bam! Bamm!

Little Johnny almost peed his shorts. He frantically looked at the door 5 feet away from him, tried to get up from his sitting position but can't. It seemed as if his bones turned into jelly. He looked around trying to find anything he can use as a weapon but the only thing near him are the colorful Legos, his mobile phone and the silver beaded rosary.

Bam bam bam bam bam bammmm!

The crack is getting bigger! His tiny hands grabbed at the Legos on the floor and threw it at the mirror, thinking it might stop the skull, but he lost all the color on his already pale face when the crack became bigger!

Ahhh---- Oh no!

He was now trembling in fear and cold sweat started to drip from his forehead.

"What should I do?", Johnny said in tears.

His teary blue almond eyes suddenly darted to where the rosary is. And then he remembered what his mommy always told him before tucking him to bed. "Don't forget to pray to Jesus before you go to sleep baby."

He grabbed it from the post, moved away the remaining Legos scattered on the floor as he scampered to the farthest corner. Tears already gushed from both eyes as he was hugging his knees after he did the Sign of the Cross and prayed.

"I-I be-b-believe i-inn G-Goddd th-the Fa-Father.."

Rrraarrrrgghhhh

The skull was going berserk! The bamming stopped and it was rolling over and over inside the mirror. The smoke was slowly dissipating.

"A-almigh-tyy, creator of heaven and earth.."

It's working! Little Johnny chanted the prayer louder and louder as the skull gave one last glare at his big blue eyes and vanished into thin air!

"I belieeve in Je-sus Christ His only Son..."

It's gone! He was tempted to stop praying but as he tried doing so, he noticed that the smoke has not dissipated completely so he continued.

He felt his eyelids slowly droop as he stifled a yawn during the last mystery. He dropped to the floor in a slump as he muttered "Amen" and lost consciousness.

Pirrrirri Pirrirri Pirrirrii

He was startled hearing the sound from his Samsung mobile phone and grabbed it with his left hand. After swipping the combination lock pattern, he was relieved seeing it was just a Like Facebook notification from one of his previous posts. He remembered his dream and shuddered at the thought of it becoming a reality.

He looked at the digital clock and his eyes widened as he stole another glance on the mirror in his room. It is now 3 am and the mirror had a huge crack in the middle.

- Fin -

Sleep

2016-06-15T19:46:00.003-07:00

Sleep little one
Close your big blue eyes
Hum a song with me
As you rest your tired soul

Shush little one
Calm your wary turbulent heart
Know that as you wake tomorrow morn
It is a brand new day

Pirrirri

2016-06-12T18:30:00.001-07:00

"You opened both eyes and it's pitch black
'Pìrrrirri pirrrirri' goes the alarm on your phone
You tried to reach for it but it's no use
You remembered you placed it atop the dresser table a foot away

You sighed, curled sideways to the edge and sat in a slumped position
'Pirrirri pirrirri' your phone goes non-stop

Somehow it's music to your ears
It is quite an achievement as you did not awake after the 5th snooze
You let out a yawn and stopped the 'Pirrirri' in one swipe

You grabbed your android phone with your right hand and did a time check
'Oh sh--' it's way past 4 am! And now you're fully awake
You dropped your phone atop the bed and bolted upright
'Gah! Yeowch!' You stubbed your big toe on the corner of the table in darkness

Still wincing in pain, you hopped 3 steps near the door and switched the lights on
Not wasting any time, with your right hand you pulled the towel hanging near the door
You turned the knob to open the door with your left

You dashed 20 steps and you're in the bathroom
You are welcomed by a haggard looking 'you' in the mirror as you turned on the lights and locked the door
You looked at yourself straight in the eye and thought, 'Eyebags pa more' and chuckled

You stared once more at your reflection in the mirror,
lines forming on both eyes
mouth forming into a wide toothy grin
You eventually say to yourself,
'Good morning! It's a brand new Monday!
Go out there and be a blessing to everyone you meet today!'"

abcminilibrary

2016-06-11T08:30:00.000-07:00

Kiddie visitors of #abcminilibrary in our home. 😊

It gives me great pleasure to share my love in reading books to the next generation. I dream of putting up #abcminilibrary in different provinces, starting in Masbate to provide kids from all walks of life free access to books and computers. It would be a safe haven for them where their parents can leave them or they can just "tambay" in the library for a whole day with books and free computer access.

For now, I can only afford the one inside our home. But in the future, I claim that this dream will come true, not just for me, but also for the kids and their families na matutulungan nito. ☝👆

Human

2016-06-11T08:22:00.001-07:00

"You can snort a chuckle at corny jokes
You can sing off tune when a song catches your heart
You can even guffaw as you get a joke,
minutes after your friends stopped laughing at it 😂
That's what makes you human

You can smile and stare as your crush sits beside you
You can giggle and tuck your hair when you are complimented
You can even oggle at the hottie that passed by the entrance
That's what makes you human

You can hug a special someone to ease their pain
You can shed a tear for a broken hearted friend
You can even shed another tear when Nuriko died in Miaka's arms
That's what makes you human

You can refuse to give a penny to that beggar outside
You can silently glare at the lady who cut in front of you in line
You can get irritated by the vanity of some
You can even blow a fuse when your wants are not met
That's what makes you human"

Your emotions, no matter how hard you deny them as you grow older, are what makes you human. Embrace them as a part of who you are as a person but do not use them to hurt another human being.

Quotable Quotes

2014-02-09T03:44:00.001-08:00

"The standard you set for yourself, are always more important. They should be higher than the standards anyone else would set for you, because in the end you have to live with yourself, and judge yourself, and feel good about yourself. So set your standards high and keep them high, even if you think no one else is looking. Somebody out there will always notice, even if it's just you."

- Diane Snedaker

Apple's Note:

I read this quote from the book 'Beyond Talent' by John C. Maxwell who became one of my favorite authors after I read his 'The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. I don't know why I started reading books about leadership even though I am not in the position to lead, yet. Maybe, it'll become my calling in the future. No one knows. But for now, all I can do is prepare before that time would come and slowly apply the things that I've learned in my daily life.

As the saying goes, 'You cannot lead others if you can't even lead yourself.'

I'm sure most of you would agree with that quote. I hope you had a pleasant weekend! :)

Life's Lessons Office Edition

2014-02-08T09:44:00.001-08:00

1. It's not over till it's over. No matter how many breaks you encounter, you can't give up so easily and assume that everything is a failed cause. Investigate. Understand. And learn all the possible "logic" being used in the formula embedded in the template. If all else fails after you've done your part, escalate.

2. Knowing the "how" when it comes to dealing with Microsoft Excel formulas is not as good as knowing the "why" in the process. If you can't determine why there are still breaks in the checks embedded, don't hesitate to ask why it was there in the first place. Try to ask the reason behind the logic in the formula and it would surely help you tweak it to "how" it's supposed to really work. You might just need to do add/remove the unnecessary things in it.

3. Having a positive mindset may not really solve the problem, but it will help you relax and think in a calm manner that will definitely help you think of a solution to the problem.

4. Paying forward the kindness you've received in the past is deemed useless if your intention is to receive kindness in the future. Always remember to help others because you want to help them, but not because you want them to help you in the future. If they decide on their own to be of assistance to you in the future, it's just an added bonus.

5. Being confident with how you do things is totally different from being proud of how you do it.

Eulogy

2013-06-08T13:02:00.001-07:00

Drafting a eulogy for someone close to you who just passed away is one of the hardest things I ever did.

This will be the second time. The first time I wrote one was when I was still in elementary when my grandmomma died because of diabetes.

And then, my uncle died just last night.

Thinking about my best memories of my uncle always brings me to tears. His kindness and generosity are the best traits that I can say about him.

But for now, I'm still trying to compose that eulogy inside my head... I still am thinking of the right words that I should use to best describe the noticeable change in him when he got closer to God.

If you read this by any chance, please do pray for his soul.

Thank you.

Unstoppable Saturday with Nick Vujicic and Ely Buendia (teaser photos)

2013-05-20T13:03:00.002-07:00

It all started with a simple conversation from a friend since high school.

Shemmie: "Apple, kilala mo si Nick V? Ung limbless guy? We got 2 extra tickets sa talk niya sa CCF sa may Tiendesitas this Saturday.. Baka gusto niyo with ur mom or tita.. 350 each lang ung tix instead of 500."

(to be continued... New blog post will be up this Friday!)

Nick Vujicic inspiring tons of people at the CCF building.

Rock Night with Pupil at Tiendesitas

God with Us.

2013-03-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

Brother George Gabriel giving an all out worship during Talk 3: Your Feelings are a Gift.

Sometimes, God disturbs our inner peace maybe not to test us, but for us to go back to Him. It’s not that I went on a hiatus mode and stopped serving him for a while but it might be for a greater purpose. The reason? For now, I still don’t have the answer.

I attended the Break Feast after the Series: EMO. I thought I am already equipped with all the knowledge that I needed to know when it comes to dealing with my emotions, I just didn't expect that God would already give me a practical exam instantly. It’s as if I was in a classroom and the teacher suddenly gave a surprise quiz after the lesson.

Wow.

But what happened was totally unexpected. We were driving home from the Feast when we received a call from my brother who was just on his first month of his OJT after graduating last October. At first I thought it was just a simple exchange of hellos and “kamustahan” but I got worried when my mom said, “Down ka? Bakit?” (You’re feeling down? Why?)

With the type of personality my brother has, he is not the one who opens up easily unless he can’t take it anymore. After hearing his story over the phone, I can’t help but get emotional when I heard that the supervisor of my brother is belittling his IQ and logical ability to think wisely. If you have night vision, you can clearly see my eyes growing bigger, nostrils getting wider and ears going red with anger.

Eww, I know. It looks kinda gross but that’s the best description of the emotion that I am feeling at that time.

Nobody has the right to tell my brother those mean words! He has been a valedictorian in elementary and salutatorian in high school! Not to mention that he passed a scholarship exam and graduated a scholar with flying colors!

Thankfully, while my mom was talking to him, I had the chance to experience the “Gift of Gap” and reflect on what was the right words to say over the phone. I also asked for “Grace” which is “Help in Time of Need” as per Bro. George just so I won’t rub salt to my brother’s already wounded pride unintentionally.

When my mom passed the phone over to me for additional encouraging words, I had to stop myself from sobbing while telling him that, “Don’t you ever believe what that person is saying. Just take everything as a learning experience and think of it as your training ground. Learn as much as you can with what you’re doing. When you make mistakes, just say to yourself, ‘Ok, I made a mistake. Now what do I know now based on that experience that I didn't know before.’ Be humble and open to criticism. It’s ok to feel down and depressed. Do not deny yourself of feeling that emotion, but do not dwell on it too much. Pray that by God’s grace the bitterness and low-self-esteem that you’re feeling right now will be removed.”

It’s really hard when your loved one is experiencing hardships in a faraway place and you can’t do anything about it. I told him as we were nearing our house, “Here’s what we’re gonna do, in a few minutes we’ll park the car inside the garage and go inside the house, ok? Once this phone call is over, we will start praying for you. We’ll ask God to lend you his Holy Spirit for enlightenment and Mama Mary to pray for you also. You do the same, alright?” He agreed and said that he’ll call back some other time.

We did pray for him as one family that evening. I believe that as we were praying for him, God already sent his Holy Spirit to my brother and an angel to always watch over him.

I am thankful that God has allowed me to finish the whole series, EMO. If not for everything that I heard and learned during the past 3 Sundays, I would have already been consumed by worry, paranoia, and depression.

The last remarks of Bro. Bo Sanchez, “Thank God for trials for they allow us to go back to Him!” really made an impact on me.

Our family knows that this is just a trial that my brother will experience for he is just at the start of his journey towards his dream. We believe that if we continue to do our part, continue to pray and remain faithful to Him, He will never leave my brother’s side. We know that my brother is in good hands, even though he is far away from us and in another country.

Neko-chan at Fort San Pedro

2013-03-12T22:48:00.001-07:00

I adore taking photos of stray cats and dogs wherever I go. My previous post which is totally dedicated to them proves that it has become a habit of mine.

This time, even though we are at Cebu, I wouldn't pass the chance of running after a furry animal at Fort San Pedro while trying to compose a great photo of them.

Lucky me, I saw two cats inside the historical fortress at Cebu! Though one was busy chasing mice in slumber land (I think I saw the cat drool from time to time, lol.)

Can you see the drool on the cat's chin? Hehe. Just kidding. This cat was sleeping peacefully inside the fortress even though there is a huge crowd inside Fort San Pedro.

Kidding aside, the second one was more interesting for it was stalking a bird when I spotted it hiding in the bushes. It was positioned like a statue, ready to pounce at it's prey when the cat caught my observant eye.

Here he is, already in "hunter mode".

The "innocent" bird who has no inkling that he "might" already be someone else's lunch for the day.

Eep! Mr. Cat saw me and is approaching me!

Look at the intense stare of his eyes. If I didn't know better, I would have stood up (I was crouching to almost a kneeling position just to get a good shot) and ran away. But I took the chance and and waited.

My favorite shot of the day. It was worth it!

See, if I had ran away from that perfect opportunity, I wouldn't have been able to get this last shot! Which is my favorite by the way. :)

That's one thing that you'll learn when taking photos of stray animals, "expect the unexpected". You would even learn how to read their body language. If you try to approach a cat but it's eyes look bewildered and it's body is poised in a different direction from where you're coming, that just means that it's not used to people. There's no sense trying to go near it for you might just be attacked (some animals, not just cat's have predatory instincts. It means that they will definitely attack you when they are scared of you.) or it might just run away from you. Good for you if the animal does the latter one.

So if ever you decide to take on animal photography as your hobby or profession, just always be careful, alright?

If ever you want me to see some of the photos you've taken, just shoot me the link in the comment box below and I'd definitely take the time to look at it. :)

Happy shooting!

Insignificant? With God, Never.

2013-01-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so tired that you were able to sleep 14 hours straight in one day? How about spending the whole day at home lying on the bed thinking that you have a lot of things to do and you want to get up but your body won’t respond as if you’re made of jelly?

Or was there a time when you missed the Feast weeks in a row because you just want to rest at home and sleep but you can feel the worm named “guilt” slowly consume you deep inside?

I have, for almost 2 years now and I am not proud of it.

When I first transferred to a “bank” I thought that life would get easier and I’d have more time during the weekends, especially Sundays to serve at The Feast. Well, that was what my dad told me for he himself is also working in the same industry for more than 25 years now. Not knowing anything about the line of work I’d be dealing with, I decided to quit my night shift call center job and become a full pledged accountant. Some of you may know that I was lucky enough to pass the board exam last 2010 and that is also one of the major factors that made me decide to leave.

The work load was light at first for majority of us are new, I mean the whole team are all new hires at that time. As months passed by, gradually they increased the number of funds that we have to prepare every month. I don’t know if they even thought that the workforce needed is enough to man the job. Month after month, they kept on accepting new tasks from our counterpart and still they have not decided to increase our workforce.

There are times when we are working for 19 hours a day, 7 days a week in a month, non-stop. There was even a time when 2 of my colleagues had to work 24 hours straight to make sure that we will be able to deliver on time. 3 team leaders left the company February of last year, followed by another team leader and a manager last August. Now, you can imagine how tiring our line of work is. If ever I hear anyone say that working in a bank is easy, I would definitely slap a scotch tape on top of the mouth of that person to shut them up.

Do I already sound like I am complaining? Forgive me if that is the tone of my writing right now. I never wanted to complain but I think I am already at my limit for being too timid. Sometimes, I hate this attitude of mine. I usually talk when there is no one who will listen to me.

I know it’s kind of stupid but I guess it’s just one habit of mine that is really hard to break.

I’ve endured the stressful and tiring environment for a year and 9 months already. I admit, I was never the perfect employee but I think I still deserve a little bit of acknowledgement for my contribution to the team. I am a good team player, but it’s not enough for every one has also gained that skill during the year. I am a hard worker, but everyone in our team is, and of course it’s not enough.

It really is true that it’s a “dog eat dog” world out there, especially if you work in an environment where they encourage “healthy competition” in the subtlest way possible. Add up some politics to intensify the situation and you’d really end up being at the bottom.

That’s how I felt when I attended the Feast last Sunday during Bro. Bo Sanchez' talk about significance. Rock bottom. Under the sea. In the Netherworld, if that is really possible. I feel like all of my efforts were thrown in the trash bin.

I forced (forgive me for being honest here) myself to attend the Feast to fill up the void that I felt in my heart. I got out of work at 8am after our weekend overtime for 10 hours and decided to attend the Feast just so I won’t fall into the pits again and succumb to this darkness that is slowly creeping and threatening whatever good that is inside me to disappear.

As I listened to Bro. Bo’s words during his talk about “helping others achieve their dreams” is the main essence of being significant, I was flooded with memories of all the hardships and stress I experienced at work. Add the feeling of being worthless at the same time and that really brought me to the edge causing me to shed buckets of tears. But I didn’t care. I just raised my head up and looked to the ceiling imagining Father God in front of me and let my tears flow freely down my face.

I kept asking Him inside my head, “Bakit ganoon Daddy God? Andaya naman. Hindi naman po ako nagpapabaya eh. Pero palagi na lang may mali sa mga gawa ko. “

As I continued to cry (looking foolish inside the Plenary Hall), slowly I remembered all the words of encouragement that my colleague/friends tell me. I also remembered my role as a member of the Media Ministry, even though I was absent most of the time during our meetings, they still trust me enough to give me important assignments as a writer, photographer and this time, in charge of drafting the budget for our ministry.

Ah, at last! I realized the significance of my title as a certified accountant. I didn’t give much importance to it until now. And, because of my new responsibility, I now feel that what I am doing is significant. I am significant. Well, maybe not right now for the company that I work for, but for the God who made it possible for me to pass the board exam.

I do remember making a pact to Him that when I pass the board exam, I will serve Him with everything that I can.

Well, here I am, Lord. Use me for Your glory.

Inu. Neko

2013-01-22T15:13:00.002-08:00

Recently I've acquired the habit of taking random shots of cats and dogs that I encounter in the streets. Maybe because of the fact that it is hard to take their photos that challenges me.

And I love taking on a challenge.

So here they are, I hope you'll like them.

Oh, and because it's really random, the photos are taken using different devices (mobile phone, digital camera and dslr).

This one is not a real dog, just saw this cutie at the mall.

If you'd ask me if I'm a cat or a dog person, I'd enthusiastically say, "Both!"

How about you? Do you prefer owning a cat or a dog?