Okay, Fine, Dammit

A good honest venting.

maggie, dammit — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:16:31 +0000

I remember a time when none of it mattered — the traffic, the audience, the ABCs of SEO (and OMG, WTF.) I remember a time, at least, when it didn’t matter to me. When I burst out of the gates like a young racehorse, stupid and happy and bred just for this. When I was [...]

worry, crisco, fireflies, and faith

maggie, dammit — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:36:46 +0000

She’s all hip-juts and sassy angles, a freckle for every insolence, perpetually bored. She pecks and picks at me, pulls my patience taut in her beak, though I’ve become quite deft at ignoring her. She turns then on her little sister, who answers simply with a full-body tackle. Ah, summer. Last week, my lord, we lived [...]

I have to get this out.

maggie, dammit — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:37:37 +0000

Yesterday, palms sweaty, tentatively navigating fork choices, sweltering greasy-spit heat and bo-jangling nerves, I had the pleasure of sitting immediately to the left of this man before (and after) I had the honor of listening to him speak. Lundy Bancroft delivered the keynote address at a very special banquet at which I was honored to be [...]

Will you like me less at BlogHer if you think I’m fat?

maggie, dammit — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:47:53 +0000

My feed reader is suddenly infested with BlogHer posts and for the first time I find myself lice-combing through every single one, searching for that tiny varmint of truth that applies to me (or at least its telltale eggs.) I have never gone before and this year I finally get to experience what I’ve been [...]

Fare thee well, friend

maggie, dammit — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:42:40 +0000

Airport, June 19, 2009, 7:00am. I will honor your family in your absence, bake meals for your wife and kiss the tops of your boys’ heads as often as they’ll allow, until you return. I won’t dishonor you by lying and saying I fully understand all of this; I’m not going to pretend that my feelings [...]

And the wall comes crumbling down

maggie, dammit — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:22:52 +0000

I hit some sort of wall Thursday night. Like, I couldn’t move my face and I couldn’t lift my arms and I couldn’t think or say or do one more thing and I realized I was mashed up against this wall, drool pooling at the corner of my mouth and sliding down the glaze to [...]

Square One (Introducing: Izzi)

maggie, dammit — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:00:44 +0000

Ugly Confession

maggie, dammit — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:43:14 +0000

I didn’t think I loved my dog. *** Once upon a time there was a different dog, a dog named Caleb. It was a time long before we had children and mere months after we were married. My aunt had this incredible dog and when I learned she was pregnant I was elated. On Dave’s birthday, two [...]

my dog died.

maggie, dammit — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:31:22 +0000

We had no warning. She looked peaceful when we found her. I’m gonna try to find some comfort in that if I can. I can’t think of anything eloquent to say. I can’t stop crying, and neither can my kids.

Girl.

maggie, dammit — Fri, 29 May 2009 02:11:25 +0000

I see you, girl, and I know you. You, there, imagining yourself draped in that silky invisibility cloak, arms snaked tightly around your tiny torso, a finger gripping each groove between every single one of your bony ribs. I know that angry red divot above each knuckle and I see the way your hair doesn’t [...]