Old Gent's Tales

My Pen is Lost

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 04:46:00 +0000

When I was 11 years old and my command over English pronunciation was rather shaky much like my peers in the missionary school that I went to, this sentence uttered with speed became a crude joke. So not many of us, who had just started using pens as preferred instruments of writing, complained when we lost one. And in that boarding school there were many a case of lost pens.
In the mid nineties, when I was still a student streching my studies far beyond my intellectual capacity into a PhD course, my friend Daud Ali gave me a Mont Blac pen. Till then I had heard about the iconic brand and seen some samples at stores on Bond street, but had never ventured to ask the price of one or desired to possess one. The first MB pen for me was easy to get. Daud was carrying it in his breast pocket [being an American he was more aware of the brand and its value than I fresh from Delhi was] and all I needed to have one was a short conversation that went like this:
I: Is that a MB pen you are carrying, quite fancy of you to do so on your poor lecturer's salary.
Daud: Would you like to have it?
I: You are not serious
Daud: Yes, I am serious please take it [Did I tell you that Daud was an incipient Communist and did not care much for branded stuff]
The pen was mine. In the post-possession convesation that followed, I discovered that Daud had not bought the pen, he had just found it in the courtyard of the School of Oriental and African Studies where I studied and he taught.
For the next two years, I used the pen a few times only to sign my name on some university papers, preserving the pen with utmost care. For I had realised, that this was something I would not be able to replace any time soon in my life. After couple of years, the pen made its journey back to India. In the summer of 1999, the pen and I found ourselves at an Old Monk party in Calcutta on a special occasion - the occasion was very special for my father in law. The Old Monk was potent, my morals weak, emotions high and tongue lose. It was a fatal combition and in a rare moment of lapse of judgment, I offered the pen to my father in law. Who on this occasion behanved exactly I had with Daud and took the pen from me. That is how my first MB pen was lost.
Good fortune come to me again exactly 10 years later in 2009 when I, again by chance and sheer luck, presented myself for a business chat at a friend's office. The friend, a successful new economy entrepreneur, had got a few MB pens to give away to important people. Although I certainly did not qualify as an important person, he was kind enough to give me the last of the MB's in his gift collection. I do not want to name the friend for the fear that many of you may land up at his door steps to take advantage of his propensity to give away expensive gifts to undeserving people. Suffice it to say, although a successful entrepreneur he is as bindas as Daud in mattters of worldly possessions.
Having lost one MB and having got another one by sheer luck, I did take all the care this time not to give it away in a state of high spirits. However, luck did not seem to have been on my side this time too. I lost the pen thanks to the handiwork of someone who knew its price but not its value.
Since then I have had to do with ordinary pens like Waterman and Parker as I wait for yet another munificience from another friend. I can't yet even after 30 years publicly say "my pen is lost".
Anyone planning to gift me my third MB pen, I promise to keep it safe from strong sprits and weak human beings and much else.

Losing a bit of my past

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 13:07:00 +0000

How can you lose your past? For that matter how can you change your past? I too thought these were not possible, your past was your past - not losable, changeable or even forgettable. But all that change with a brief two minute phone call which casually informed me that that a particular house in a particular town in Bihar was sold. No other details about the sale was available and still is available. Someone ran away with a part of my past and don't even know who it was. The more I think about it more helpless I feel. THe house in question was nothing extraordinary, a two story heap build built in the middle of a 5 acre plot in 1908 by my maternal great grandfather - a local lawyer and a grandee - Jyotish C DasGupta. A rather upright and strict man who lived till the ripe old age of 100. A poor man who had economically and socially risen in life - the first by building up a successful law practice in the district town of Purnea and at the same time marrying [ as a ugly but bright boy] the daughter the local magnate: Kusum DasGupta [a woman of cosiderable beauty and weath]. Nishikanta Sen, my greatgrandmother's father was as seriously well known as he was rich and he was also Roy Bahadur. The land for the house in question was "given" to JCD by NKS to build the house [JCD was stricly against dowry]. The house was the marital home of JCD and KD and was strategically located too. It was just outside the football pitch type compound of NKS's own chateu like house [the original was destroyed in the 1934 Bihar earthquake and the remake still stands: last heard it was taken over by the CPM and converted into a party office, but that is another story!] It was in this house that JCD and KD lived for nearly 80 years of their lives saw the birth of several children [8 of whom survived], saw a few grandchildren, and a fewer great grandchildren and kept them all under their wings till 1979 and 1981 repsectively before they passed away. I had the honour at a tender age to bear on my shoulders both of them to their funerals. Things changed rapidly after that. For a few decades three unmarried children and my grandmother kept the house going with all its verve intact. In the 1990s oly two unmarried daugters lived in the house. The others mainly children of his sons were waiting for the last two daughters to call it a day. One passed away couple of years back, the other is till alive [my mother's family members seem to be blessed with long lives] and has apparently beeen moved to a flat in Calcutta. I should have no attachment to that house: economic, social, emotional. But apprently I do. My grandmother, my mother and I were all born in that house. The house will witness many more births and deaths, sale and resale, but I have irrevocably lost a part of my past and dont know how to recover it.

Where do I belong?

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 10:13:00 +0000

I am a 42 and like all other clever 42 year olds, I was planning my retirement abode when I hit this problem. I like Nashik but can't live there since I am not a Maharastrian nor can I speak Marathi. I like Delhi, but can's speak Punjabi or Urdu nor am I a Punjabi, Haryanvi, Western UPite or Bihari who have traditionally laid claim to the city; I like Kolkata and West Bengal and can even speak the language; but the locals think I do not belong there since I have been an expat for two generations. Orissa and Assam are out because I would be identified as a Bengali there and I do not know the local language... Further north-east people will consider me as coming from India and therefore alien. Southern states too are out of the question, I will not be able to have any meaningful conversation there beyond sign language. Goa? Marathi's and RUssians are already fighting over it. Kashmir ideal by I am supposed to be a Hindu! Punjab no way, they are already chasing out anyone who smells of Bihar. Bihar? not a bad idea since I lived the first 16 years of my life there and my ancestors a few centuries from my mother's side. But Biharis always consider Bengalis as at best friendly aliens. So where do I go? Here is my profiile: I speak Hindi, Bengali and English; am a staunch secularist believing that religion does more mischief in human hands than good; I have lived 16 years in Bihar, 14 years in Delhi, 6 years outside India, 2 years in Mumbai and 4 years in Kolkata? It seems, India has no place for "Indians" -

Delhi Trafiic and Tata Salt

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:25:00 +0000

I just heard that the Delhi Police has launched an ambitious plan to ensure "free" flowing traffic all across the city well before the Commonwealth Games. Taking a cue from the old Tata Salt advertisement of free flowing salt, it has declared that well before the commonwealth games the traffic is Delhi will be flowing freely all across the city. On being contacted by yours truly the joint commissioner traffic patiently described the whole plan.
According to the JC {T}, just a humongous task can not be carried out by the police force alone, therfore the the Delhi Police for the first time has entered into MoUs with other Departments and like-minded agencies to partner. The first to sign was the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation and its chief vendor Gammon India. DMRC and Gammon being full of thoughtful people like engineers and MBAs have applied the Pareto principle to the issue [they learnt it it simply as the 80:20 rule]. They have agreed that they will take care of 20% of the city that controls 80 per cent of the traffic. Accordingly, they have blocked the main arterial roads and crossings across South Delhi with men and material and barricades and also caused a major accident on a critical road connecting Moolchand to Nehru Place. With astounding results.... traffic flows in all directions at the same time giving a new twist to the constitutional freedom "to travel freely in any part of the country". The DMRC spokesperson has assured that they would continue along similar lines for many years to come. Delhi Police JC {T} was happy at the way the partnership with DMRC was working out. The Municipal Commission of Delhi, not to be left behind, has joined hands and has made it clear that they too have a few tricks up their sleeves to make sure that the Delhi traffic continues to flow "freely". Asked to elaborate, the MCD Commissioner indulgently mentioned that the plan had been in place for years and comprised the following:
1. Allow pavements to be taken over by shopkeepers [unfortunately there are very few pavement dwellers in Delhi]
2. Give a free hand to civil contractors by never focing them to clean up after themselves and allowing them to pile up materials on the roads
3. Plan to build several flyovers and never complete them
4. Pass on advance information on road construction to telecom operators and Delhi Jal Board so that as soon as road are re-laid they can start digging.
The Commissioner looked surpised that your correspondent did not know these rules, especially since they had been a great success since the days of the Asian Games in 1982.
The JC {T} generously praised the MCD for its insight and the value it brought to the partnerships and criticised the New Delhi Municipal Corporation [NDMC] for its refusal to participate in the partnership faced with political pressure. A thoughtful NDMC Commissioner explained that all the politicians and bureaucrats lived in NDMC area and would never allow such "freedom", true to their ilk.
The most effective step to ensure free flow of traffic has however been taken by the lead partner Delhi Police. Taking a leaf out of the seminal work by Levitt and Dubner - Superfreakononmics, the JC{T} suggested that the solution to all complicated problems are really very simple. We have made sure that the traffic flows "freely" throughout the city by simply putting the traffic lights out of use. We have so far covered about 50 per cent of the city's traffic lights and we are sure that we will achieve 100% success with the traffic lights well before the commonwealth games.
Your correspondent also learnt from reliable sources that Delhi drivers true to their character have taken to this new approach like fish to water and are immensely enjoying their new found "freedom"... one of them, a recent arrival in the city from Jhajjhar {haryana}, quoted an ancient authority "the city air makes you free".

Poor, Their Lordships

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:54:00 +0000

For sometime now the RTI wallahs and the newspaper wallahs have been hell-bent upon forcing their lordships the High COurt and Supreme Court justices to reveal their assets - much like old directors harangue starlets to reveal their assets on screen.
After months of haranguing and harrassing their Lordships decided to give in. Perhaps not under pressure from the press or the RTI walas but under pressure from their own ilks. Once again it was the relatively new comers to the business, in this case newcomers to the high courts, who started this trend; exactly like in the movie business where the new comers are more eager to reveal their assets. It started with a smaller and newer lord in the karnataka high court folowed by another smaller lord at Chennai high court and then gradually the all their lordships decided to join the bandwagon. It was much like the movie indsutry where a relatively newcomer like Bipasa Basu starts revealing assets and everyone up the value chain right up to the top Madhuri Dixit [the then equivalent of the Chief Justice) has to reveal.
Oh what fun has it been to watch the terriers snap at the heels of their lordships forcing them to relent. But did something come out of it? Unlike in the movies, unfortunately nothing came out of it. As in much else that happens in India, it was like making a molehill out of a mountain... or its more apt hindi version Khoda Pahar Nikli Chuhiya.... Their lordships revealed that they had no assets worth revealing. The richest of them was worth around 40-50 lakhs slightly worse off than a shopkeeper in Sarojini Nagar.
It now transpires that their Lordships did not want to reveal their assets in the first place NOT because they wanted to hide their wealth, but because they wanted to hide their poverty. I think that is a fundamental right of all Indians and we should not deprive Lordships from that right.

Security Forces and Taj Mahal Hotel

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 07:09:00 +0000

Nah, I am not taking you back to that fateful day in November and write a rambling and critical note on the role of security forces on that fateful day. I am going to better than that and narrate two separate incidents. These are two separate incidents that seemed to be linked yet you cant pin-point the link.

The first incident happened at the terminal 1A of the Delhi Airport. As usual I was much ahead of time for the afternoon flight and approached the main entrance to the terminal at a leisurely space [1 oclock flights are always empty]. I had in my shirt pocket several A sheets neatly folded, these were various tickets etc. that one normally carries. I took out one A4 sheet and checked it an handed it over the to the CISF guard at the gate, he took 2 minutes to scrutinise it, asked for my photo id and fully satisfied let me go [I wonder where he was when someone flew on a ticket bought on my credit card for Kingfisher sometime back]. I walked confidently towards the check in counter, ut before that there was another CISF person double checking the tickets. Once again I fished into my pocket took out a A4 sheet and handed it over to hi. Once again he checked it for 2 mins reading all the details of Flight 887, matching the date, my name and much else. The he handed me back the ticket, smiled at me and let me pass. As I was folding the ticket to put it back in my pocket, I could not help but laugh out aloud. I could clearly read what the ticket said: Mumbai Central to Hazrat Nizamuddin AC1, 21 August. The ticket which let me through the second gate was my return train ticket for the next day! It came as a shock to me that the person who was inchage of checking tickets was not literate and he looked at all printed A4 sheets with some columns as a plane ticket.

The second incident happened the next day at Taj where the organisation I work for was holding a large confernce. With a view to getting some work done while listening to the speakers at the conference, I asked the ballroom incharge to provide me with a wireless password. He had no clue and promised to sent the "IT guy" across. The IT guy came soon and I requested for a password for a couple of hours. "Yes" he said and suggestively mentioned, "should I tell you the rates beforehand". I said Yes to that thinking to myself it cant surely be more than a couple of hunder rupees for an hour. To my shock I was told that the minimum charge was 2,500 Rs. I did not get the zeros wrong. I maintained my dignity and asked him if there was a lesser scheme. he said there is no scheme for ballroom. To which I sugested that I had booked the ballroom for the day and would up running a bill of at least 4 lakhs... does not that call for a scheme for me? No Sir, was the reply. I think since people have completely stopped hotel phones [remember those rip offs in the earlier era?], this is the new way some hotels are making money. What a sad commentary. If you want to make money out of internet charges why not start a chain of cyber cafes? why start a five star hotel?

Digital Content and Services: Does Mobile Hold the Key?

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:13:00 +0000

Doesn’t it sound interesting that after 15 years of growth based on “user generated content” the mobile phones walas are now moving towards non-user generated content and after 15 years of non-user generated content, internet walas are moving towards user generated content.
Sounds confusing? Let me try and make it easier: In the first round of growth mobile/wireless phones have thrived only on voice which is nothing but user generated content. To be slightly technical, the telecom operators have provided a platform on which we the users have contributed our voice content based on which the industry has grown to have more than 400 million customers. In case of the internet over PC/Laptop however, the beginning was made with web 1.0 where the content was provided to the user to web 2.0 where the platform is provided to the user and s/he contributes her own content.
So it appears that the that the adage “grass is greener on the other side” is coming to be true so far as digital content in India is concerned: Mobile walas are now increasing moving towards getting their customers hooked on to non-user generated content and internet walas are seducing their users by user generated content.
As of now, so far as the Indian market is concerned with its various skewed and awkward developments, it appears that the mobile walas have a distinct advantage in distribution of content and services on four fronts:
User generated content OR voice has proved to be a killer application
Which in turn has meant that benefits of “networking” is accruing to the users [more mobile phones there are more and more people would like to buy one; if you are the only mobile users you would have too few people to call
Mobile after all is a complete gadget: it allows you to talk, it provides connectivity and also acts as a tool for interaction [for using internet on PC you would at least have to have a PC/Device, a modem and a connectivity, sufficient electricity/battery supply. Mobile phones integrates all of these in a small and portable gadget]
Unlike the internet walas, the mobile walas have taught the users how to pay for content and services
It is small wonder that everyone is now trying to capture a share of the new user demand for what is perhaps a little too loosely known as mobile value added services. These services range from ringback tones on one end to mobile banking facilities on the other and anything in between.
This need for pushing content and services on mobile phones would continue to be driven by two significant factors:
The falling ARPUs, arrival of 3G and stiffer competition from new licensees would drive the telecom companies towards more and more value added content
On the other hand content and service providers which include such different entities as internet companies, film and music production houses and pure play mobile content and service providers, banks, retailers; increasingly use mobile as an important channel for distribution of content and services.
There is, however, an interesting dichotomy here: telecom users are not used to creating content and services [flourishing as they have done so far on voice]. The content and service providers on the other hand have so far not been used to paying the lion’s share of revenue for distribution [they are used to paying small commissions], and the current business models primarily dictated by telecoms irks them quite a bit.
So the current situation is somewhat like this: mobile walas need content and services to retain and obtain customers but do not know how to create it. Content and service walas are seduced by the huge customer base of telecoms, but are apprehensive of revenue models. While the industry has grown quite a bit within this constraint, it is time to break the ice and work out a sustainable model that benefits both for the telecom operators as well as the relatively smaller content and service providers.
From business models to what content would work in the future? This is a tricky one since the 400 million odd mobile users in India represent the entire universe of user type. In my view, a few things will work well [quite apart from p2p sms, premier sms and RBT that currently goes for all the content and service on mobile]: a) anything that is a part of the process of monetary transaction including actual transfers b) critical information that call for action now, c) active search for information and d) entertainment/fulfilment on the go. Interestingly again, telecom companies can not get into these businesses without losing their core competence just as much as content providers can not set up their own wireless networks to distribute their wares!
While it seems that once the telecom operators and content and service providers have developed a sustainable business model the growth of the industry is going to be unfettered; it would not be unwise to guard against a few roadblocks: a) at 400 million we have crossed all heretofore single product/service market sizes; we do not know our customers except that they want to talk, it is always difficult to service such a customer b) at 400 million we are more than 400 times over the English literate population, we still do not have local language phones worth mentioning c) at 400 million we are set to cross the total literate and numerate population of the country, will the next set of user be interested in mobile content and services at all? If so, of what kind? We do not know!
So even while the b2b issues are solved in the near future, the primary issue of “knowing” the customer, an issue that perhaps irks all mature industry will have to be faced and the industry will be limited by its knowledge or lack of it of its customer.

Universal Service Obligation

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:25:00 +0000

Before I go any further, let me warn the reader that the title is a technical term used for the obligation in India of the telecom license holders to provide services in the rural areas. I would also like to clarify, if it is not yet clear to anyone who has read my blog entries, that I like to write on things I know nothing about [sometimes in business this habit is petulantly termed as lateral thinking and sometimes it is called thinking out of the box].
So here I am writing about the Universal Service Obligation of Indian Telcos and I begin my story with not mobile phones but with electricity. In the 1960s, the government of many states had this crusaders' mentality [like they have now for telecom]. It was thought and genuinely believed in policy circles that electricity could change people's live.. some even believed that electricity in villages could actually cut down on the birth rate [I am sure u can figure out how and why. I will give u a hint, in my high school economics book one of the reasons given for high birth rates in rural India was supposed to be "lack of entertainment" in rural India!].
Be that as it may, the various state governments started pushing for ambitious electrification programmes. In Bihar this is how it happened: in the '60 wooden electric poles were erected, in the 70s these poles were completed eroded by the rains and were replaced by concrete poles, in the '80s poles had wires which were not live, in the '90s poles became live... but the last mile [that is connecinting homes with live electricity] was still not complete. That was the time I left Bihar for greener pastures and have not returned.
The fun on the entire process was that no one lost out. How? the electricity boards got huge money for ambitious plans, poles wallas got their money, the wire wallas made their money and the villagers did not have to adopt to something they were not sure about as yet. So the story ended in a happy note.
Somewhat similar is the story of the Universal Service Obligation Fund for telcos. This is how it works at present [ I may be wrong since as I said I write about things I do not know about]: the government [which is now very keen to earn money from anyone who makes money] takes 6 per cent of all revenues of telcos, puts it in the consolidated fund of India and promises that any telco which will wire up rural India, will be subsidised from this fund.
Do you see the uncanny similarity between the old electricity story and the new telcom story? How do you think this is going to end? As they say, more things change more they remain the same! I can clearly see that the telcos will start building towers, the wirewallas will supply the wires, the switch wallas will supply the switches and [god forbid] the rural folks will be saved from the mobile phones. So evey one will be a winner just as in the case of electricity.
What is the way forward? I think it's easy..... and the best way forward is to make a lose lose situation for everyone. But How? Simple, dont start from the telcos... start from the consumers and reverse the the flow of subsidies. Here is how the flow chart would look:
1. Pay Rs 1,000 to anyone in the rural areas to buy a handphone [one per family only]
2. Handset manufacturers will start making handsets for 800 Rs and set up shops in rural areas
3. Tower companies will start setting up the towers since people are waiting with handsets
4. Wire companies will quickly wire up the towers [or is it wireless?]
5. Telcos will very soon charge up the wireless, they will know how many consumers are waiting at the other end.
It will be a lose lose situation for all: the rural consumer will be burdened with a mobile phone, and all others will have to invest out their own pockets to build a rural business and the government will be hauled up by the election commission. And the process will be complicated... but then if you have decided to give away free money why not make the dsitribution process as complicated as possible?
Jai Hind

Diamonds for Economically Challenged, Anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 04:02:00 +0000

Ratan N Tata and his team have finally launched the Tata Nano Car. The ultimate in the world in "poor person's car". I am told that a lot of work and moolah have gone into the making of this poor person's vehicle - original reserach and development, design, engine etc etc. You name it and the car has it. The only thing retained from the heretofore known design of the cars is that the steering is still on one side [right side in this case]. I have always wondered why car steerings are on one side and not in the middle. Cars evolved from horse carriages where the coachman sat in the middle hence it would have been natural for cars to have steering wheels in the middle. That way u could also have two passenger seats in front. Perhaps someone making cars for persons who cannot even afford Nanos will make a car with the steering wheel in the middle.... someday.
But, as usual I digress. The whole point is, here is a great man from a developing country who thought of the have nots and put his resources behind making a car that is affordable by the poor. Just imagine if every industrialist and businessmen thought like him. The world would be a wonderful place to live in. So here are my suggestions to some of the biggies to make use of the recession and make pro poor products:
1. Shell, Chevron and others should start making a poor person's version of gasoline [to be used with Nano]
2. De Beers should start making poor person's diamond [we also have women to make happy, you know]
3. Boeing and Airbus should seriously start making planes for poor persons [some of us have got bored with cars anyways]
4. Central Banks should start printing poor person's money
World would be such a wonderful place to live in - there will be no class tension, no social tension, no neighbour's envy owner's pride syndrome.
Reminds me of a story I heard as a boy:
Rich Man to his new illiterate Driver: You know my only son is a IIT and IIM grad and works in Dubai
Driver: What's the big deal? My son also works in Dubai.
Thanks to Mr Tata the car industry has got Dubaied.. May his tribe increase.

Spread of Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 04:52:00 +0000

I heard this story many years back from my friend. His father, also my teacher much later than the incident described here, as a young member of the Communist Party in his younger days had participated in meeting to discuss the defeat of the Party in all seats in Punjab except one. I was told by my friend that in the meeting the young scholar had raised his hand and asked "would it not be better if, rather than dissecting the cause of defeat, we deliberate on how we won one seat and recreate those conditions elsewhere so that we could win more seats". He was hooted as a charlatan and soon after he ceased to be a member of the Party. I narrate this story as an entry to the somewhat scary story of the recent takeover of the Swat valley by the followers of Taliban and the stark fact that Amritsar is only 500 kilometres from Swat.
Apart from the obvious historical fallacy in the scaremongering [Amritsar has always been 500 kilometres from Swat and Swat has always been a land of warlords since as far as historical records go], it does give an opportunity to see how ideas spread or more importantly how the spread of ideas are restricted. Here are some examples to start a debate: Bihar is zero kilometres from West Bengal where CPM has been ruling for 28 years. The presence of a marxist party at its borders has made no impact to Bihar's own variety of politics. Ditto with Tamil Nadu and Kerala. North Korea and South Korea; China and Pakistan are other examples where the flow of ideas and therefore politics have refused to permeate each other's territories. It seems obvious to me that ideology does not spread by mere geographical proximity. Then how do ideas spread? I really don't know. Perhaps socio-economic situations help or perhaps political sponsorship does....
Be that as it may, I am not alarmed at what is happening at Swat for two reasons, a) what is happening at Swat has been happening there at least since the last 200 years or more [I think Birbal too got killed in one of Akbar's campaign in that region] without affecting any one outside that area; b) empirically, ideas do not spread by just being in the neighbourhood. So let us not rush to contain the spread of ideas by half cooked methods, that could prove to be the most effective way to bring home the idea. As the Bengali proverb goes "Dont dig a canal to bring the crocodile home".

Pubs and Women

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:19:00 +0000

With the tragedy of the pub issue in Bangalore quickly turning into a farce with a) presentation of pink chuddy b) case against minister and c) defamation suit against chaddi party, I thought it would be appropriate to share my perspective on pubs and women and make enemies of two things I love most Women and Indian Culture.
But first a clarification: a) Pub here is stricly a pub short for a public house. Not a lounge bar we know why people go there, certainly not to drink; NOR a restaurant which also serve booze; we also know why people go there and certainly not to drink. A public house is a place orginally in UK where the public went to drink [sofas and food were incidental]. These were known as bars in the US [given the wild nature of the locals, bars had to be put at the serving counters, much like what we had in Delhi till recently].
Now the big question" "Should women go to pubs?" [strictly as defined above] and the answer is NO. especially in India. For the following reasons [mainly]
1. Women usually do not drink more than a pint or two
2. Pub is not the best place to have fruit jiuce and blue curacao and various ohter virgin drinks.
3. Even when drunk women do not usually make a fool of themselves by shouting, abusing and quarrelling.
4. They listen and note conversation to be used later rather than particiapte in it. Believe me in real pub there are no listeners only talkers except the barman.
5. They do not puke in the loo, force and abuse others to let them drive after drinking and do not indulge in any other activities that are usually called post pub syndromes.
6. Finally, in male company they never pay [resonably so since they do not drink, or do not drink so much not do they participate except as passive agents]
So what is the point in going to a pub? More relevantly what is the point in taking women to a pub [as defined above]
Disclaimer: This is not an open invitation to persons of either sex to join me at the nearest bar in my next visit.

Elections on the Net: Let’s Bring Politics to Internet!

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:51:00 +0000

In 1952 India had her first general elections based on universal adult suffrage. Two things at that first election determined the DNA of the election system of India: a) elections were based on universal adult suffrage, an understanding quite uncommon at that time across the world that all adults irrespective of caste, colour, creed, education and wealth, were competent and enlightened enough to choose their representative. It was actually a very bold idea at that time; b) the elections were to be conducted not by a government body but by a constitutional body called the election commission. As we now know, both these concepts had a revolutionary impact in establishing and maintaining India as a democracy for the last 60 years.

The first Chief Election Commissioner of India was a self-effacing bureaucrat Sukumar Sen of the Indian Civil Service. He served between 1950 and 1958 overseeing the first two general elections. Interestingly, he also served as the first election commissioner of Nepal and Sudan! [I got this information from the Wiki]. He was so self-effacing that he has hardly left behind any papers to enable historians assess his remarkable contribution to the election process in India. As the first Election Commissioner, he also determined the DNA of the Election Commission. While the successive Election Commissioners have not necessary followed Sen’s streak of self-effacement, they have unequivocally maintained the election commission as an independent statutory body, over the years making it one of the most efficient, effective, unbiased and progressive bodies not only in India but the world over.

If you were a senior citizen, who has participated in many elections over the years, you would not help wonder at the progress that the election process has made over the years in terms of shortening queues, better booth management, safer voting environment, ease of casting vote and above all else introduction and use of high technology in the election process.

It is quite a pleasant surprise to know how tech-savvy the working of the election commission is. Electronic voting machines are the most visible gadgets on the tech side. But the whole process of listing, weeding and maintaining voters’ lists and issuing voters’ identity cards is an enormous task given the size of the electorate and the constant stream of newly eligible voters in each successive election. Of course, it would be fair to assume that there was perhaps no alternative before the Commission but to embrace technology fully and efficiently given the enormity of the task and the streamlined nature of the commission. In the last 8-10 years, the Commission has therefore by design or default or by a judicious mixture of both, has chosen some of the most IT savvy civil servants to head its IT function who fortunately have been given a free hand to carry out their functions as long as they have produced the desired results: conducting the elections more efficiently.

Given the history and DNA of the election commission and the imperative need to make more and more use of technology — especially since the size of the electorate if growing, there is demand for more fair and efficient elections, there is need to bring more and more new groups into the election process; I think it is time that the Commission takes the next logical step and seriously considers the concept of “internet voting”. This simply means that registered voters should be given the option of casting votes on the internet.
The task prima facie sounds daunting, and it is so. But we can rely on the historical efficiency of the Election Commission to implement the project on one hand; and on the other, the number of benefits it will bring to the country on the whole.

On the first issue of the Commission’s capability, needless to say, it is important to get the Commission to think in terms of internet voting. Once the thought is accepted seriously by the commission, I am sure, it will not be too difficult for the Commission to implement it – just as it has so smoothly and efficiently implemented electronic voting machines. Of course, in the case of internet voting there is no global precedence, just as there was not precedence of electronic voting machines on such as large scale. So there is the opportunity to set a global benchmark.

On the second issue of benefits, one can safely state that they are far too numerous and important. I will just mention three top issues that can be resolved: a) Literally, millions of so called middle classes who do not come out to vote since they consider the process to long and boring will come out and vote from the comfort of their homes thus possibily changing the whole demographic challenge that elections in India face; b) It will be much safer for people to vote and not be intimidated and c) finally, due to a drastic cut down on physical arrangements such as setting up booths and deploying security forces, the government will save considerable time and money. If these are not compelling reasons, I wonder what are?

As a postscript and from a narrow personal perspective, I may also add that “internet voting” will give a new thrust to internet use in India and help in higher internet penetration – something that successive governments have failed to achieve, may as well be achieved through the good offices of the election commission. This I would say would be the best “collateral” achievement of the whole exercise.

Hyderabad Blues

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 10:33:00 +0000

For long my acquaintance with Hyderabad was through history books about rich but miserly nawabs and their fabulous wealth and eccentricities especially onthe dining table on one hand and on the other the famous telengana movement in 1946. In more recent times, that view was moulded by high dowry demands [no I never thought of marrying a telegu girl at any point in time, I could have been richer] for nice boys in the marraige market. Fortunaltely though in the last few years I have had first hand experience of the city especially its various hotels, convention centres and other things that make up modern Hyderabad including the latest addition, the new airport. After savouring these modern delights in this medieval city, I am firmly of the opinion that if one has to see India's city one has to move out of Delhi and Mumbai. These two cities are old matrons surviving on borrowed make up. If you erally want to see the real beauties of the future look beyond to Hyderabad, Bangalore, Chandigarh, Surat, and perhaps even Chennai which is suddenly grown into beauty in middle age [some women do that trick on you].

Of course, the old Hyderabad looks as beautiful and as dirty as ever, Charminar is as majestic and Golconda fort as awe inspiring and Hussain Sagar as beautiful. But this time old and new culture had a new meaning for me. I discovered the most beautiful heritage building Chiraan Fort in Secundrabad which had been converted into a fantastic restaurant and bar complex. It was the most beautiful bar that I ever visited [and I have visited many]. Built on the model of what seemed to me the Falaqnuma Palace, this place was just out of the world. And to top it all although it was a club, they allowed non-members like me to enjoy a drink and if u are from Delhi or Mumbai a full bottle of beer at Rs 100 in a heritage builing in mid town is almost as good as free... After so many surprises, the only surprising thing left for me was that I did not get drunk.

The Child of the Nation

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 05:36:00 +0000

I was completely disappointed today when I opened the newspaper. There was just this little quarter of a page advertisement from the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting commemorating the birthday of Jawahar Lal Nehru, while the whole paper was either full of pictures of scoundrels who had managed to get tickets for the forthcoming polls or full of bigger scoundrels who had not managed to get tickets... A couple of broadsheets tried valiantly to market Children's Day.... But it has clearly not reached the stature of Valentine's Day or even mother's day...
It is a sad day for our democracy that on the eve of elections, we forget the one man who fought everyone else within and outside his party, tolerated ridicule from colonoial masters and the world but stuck to one point that has made India what it is: Universal Adult Suffrage. And this was at a time when in the other large democracy people of colour were not allowed to vote and in other smaller democracies women were still fighting for their right to elect their representatives. Of course, in most countries of Asia and Africa people did not even know that there was a system through which they could actually elect their own representatives.
My humble suggestion is that the birthday of the first Child of the Nation, Jawahar Lal Nehru should be declared as the univesal suffrage day and all of us who never vote take a pledge to respect our demicratic right and cast our vote in all elections. Thus making sure that we do not fritter away one of the most prized legacies.
It is also a bit sad that on Children's Day children have to go to school while on Vishwakarma Puja they are forced to take a holiday

Like Father, Like Son!

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 06:04:00 +0000

I am not particularly obsessive about cricket nor am I very fond of Bengali heroes. I therfore am not sure why I am makng this entry on cricket and on a bengali connected with cricket. But there you are.
Once upon a time, many years back a father would take his son to practice sessions. The father, I think was a member of Cricket Association of Bengal. The indulgent father was ridiculed by his friends and acquaintances on his one obsession, to make his son a test cricketer and play for India. Those were the days when the economy and polity had ensured that the otherwise cocky Bengalis had lost their self-confidence. While people made the right noises in front of the father, when his back was turned, they smirked at the overambitious father and the impossible dream that he had. Of course, as they say the rest is history.... If the father was dogged in his determination, the son was the top dog of Indian cricket for many years.... if the father carried the onus of the son's success, the son carried the onerous task of the country's success; if the father wanted to establish his son as a famous Indian, the son wanted to put his country as the world leader in cricket... Both of them carried out their tasks with grit and determination and at the end succeeded. One is still a young man, the other past his prime. His son has given him enough to enjoy for the rest of his life... I think, like Martin Luther, Chandi Ganguly too had a dream, but unlike Luther, he was able to fulfil it in his lifetime and sit back to enjoy the fruits.
If you think Saurav Ganguly was great as a cricketer, captain and a leader, please do remember to give some credit to Chandi Ganguly.
As they say in Hindi
Baap Ka Beta/ Sipahi Ka Ghora... Kuch nahi to Thora Thora!

Jai Maa Kaali

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:12:00 +0000

I remember as a child, every Bengali family of repute and ill-repute would have a very gaudy and hastily framed photo of Maa Kaali reclining on the puja box or adorning a wall to be worshipped with vigour especially by the elderly in the family. The design and printing were quite basic probably crude: the goddess was painted in garish blue with several hands holding arms, a chain of skulls around the neck as garland, a severed head in one hand standing with one foot on the chest of supine Lord Shiva, the divine consort, her decency covered artfully by her long hair. The garishness of the colours or the gaudiness of the whole concept did not affect the devotees. These pictures were usually designed along the lines of calendar art of that time.
I also remember, the bahurupiya who came calling every now and then, painted in blue, with a tin tongue sticking out of the mouth and long tresses of jet black hair on the head dressed as Kaali - it was a bit scary to see a man dressed like that but nonetheess awe inspiring and definitely a good business idea on part of the bahurupiya. Of course, as a budding intellectual, I also knew early that this was one of the roops of Maa Kaali - the destructive roop.
After so many years it was rather fun to see the gorgeous Hiedi Klum dressed exactly as the Kaali depicted in those early calendar art posters. I thought it was a cool idea to resurrect something many my age have grown up with and perhaps forgotten in course of their life's journey. Of course, hindu groups in the US were quick to protest this "insult" to their deity [I doubt how many of them are Kaali worshippers who remains till today a deity local to some parts of India notably Bengal]. I think it was very thoughtful of the now ageing model to pose as Maa Kaali - the ultimate symbol of feminism in my part of the world. One vital element of that motiff was missing - lord shiva, the divine consort lying at her feet. It would have been great if Seal could do that for us. I guess just as Heidi was painted blue, Seal would have to be painted white [for Lord Shiva for some strange reason, was always white in those photos I remember].
Thank you Heidi for reviving a childhood memory after fuelling several middle age fantasies. What will it be next time? Sheronwali Mata?

Celebrating the Humble Plastic

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:26:00 +0000

Santosh Desai, the famous brandman, write I regular column in the Times of India. I have always wondered what qualifies a person to write "freewheeling" columns in national dailies? But to stick to the point I wanted to make. I was inspired to make this entry by his article on steel which appeared today. For me it is the humble plastic which needs to be celebrated today as a great business facilitator, great leveller and a great insider to all that we do.
Remember those silly paper bags made by poor widows and chidren, which could not even hold soggy salt [there was no plastic packed tata salt then], remember those metal buckets that used to adorn most bathrooms and those aluminium mugs which kept millions of bums clean every morning? Remember the humble bathroom tin door on a wooden frame? They have all lost out to the plastic and various versions of it. On the dining table there are plastic plates, plastic cutlery sometimes even plastic food [I am exaggerating]. In case you forgot not many years back airlines used to provide real cutlery not the plastic one which can only poke yout tongue or cut your lips. Not to forget milk in glass bottles, coke in glass bottles. We have travelled a long way since then one brand of whiskey very successfully switched to glass bottles for 500 ml servings.
Then of course there is the great recycle potential of plastic as office bags, as tiffin carrier, as everything really.... you just have to look what we get in and what we get out of our houses and you would be convinced that the civilisation as we know it, would cease to exist wihtout plastic. This is the biggest triumph of humanity in recent years and we are like typical humans celerating the success in such a way that we even describe human emotions with reference to plastic: plastic smile for example..... It looks like soon we will have to shrink in order to make room for plastic in this planet. My personal observation is that in India Bombay is the real plastic city both literally and figuratively.
Victory to Plastic!

Amazing Biharis

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:49:00 +0000

It is amazing how Biharis continue to be in the news in spite of no known bomb blasts in Patna sicne the salad days of JP Narain and George Fernandes. In this day and age it takes a lot to be in the news for a people and state which does not have a Narendra Mody, a Mamta Banerjee, any serial blasts, no cyclones, no big investments, No Behen Mayawati not even an Amar Singh.
How do Biharis do it year after year? And prove that when it comes to newsworthiness it is unique. It is a simple recipe really.... but supreme sacrifice mixed with a little violence turned inside. The sacrifice story is simple... either there are floods or they are beated up on other states. As perhaps the largest group of internal and seasonal migrants in India, Biharis have been threatened from Kashmir to Maharashtra. This trend is likely to extend to Bangalore soon [my driver's cousin has a pan shop in Bangalore and he is eating up local jobs there, I guess] and perhaps reach Chennai very soon. One day it might also cross the Palk Strait and enter Sri Lanka. In the north, the past time of Bihari baiting is likely to go any further than Kashmir unless, but who knows the next frontier may be Afghanistan or Pakistan may be even China. In any case I will probably not live to see the day when a prospective US presidential candidate makes "Bihari Bhagao" the main plank of her election campaign. With the expanding frontiers of migration and unlimited supply of migrants, Bihar is sure to continue to grab headlines just by the virtue of being beated up by everyone across the country and perhaps across the globe [that will be true globalisation Bihari style].
The second method of getting in to the newsheadlines is natural with extremes of weather forces working on a poor people, Bihar is going to be in the in the monsoons, summer and winter. Unless the weather becomes moderate or the people become rich enough to fight the elements. Both seem very unlikely in the very long run.
It is by being at the receiving end of the weather and every body else that Bihar manages to beat otehr states in grabbing coverage. Sometime when it does not work [rare is such an occasion] there is always the inward looking violence - just kill a few people of other caste and get killed; or burn some trains in your own state; or attack trains passing through your own state. Endorsing the negative perception that most of the country holds about Bihar. Who is to blame? I do not know. But two things are simple: a migration is an economic and social process and cannot be stopped by clubbing a few Biharis. Second, politicians who have screwed up the state along caste and communitarian lines have no right to preach to others who are treating Biharis as outsiders.
By the way whatever happened to the floods in Bihar this year? Has the breach in Kosi been mended? Have people returned to their villages? How did they celebrate Diwali? No news? Not even a human interest story?

Diwali and a Mature Consumer

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 07:54:00 +0000

It is long believed by marketers that children influence the consumption patterns of parents not only in relation to goods and servies consumed by them, but also with regards to goods and services consumed by the adults in the family. It is around this belief that some proud parents happily declare "you know my ten year old son told me not to buy Laura but settle for Civic" or that VAIO was better than HP". it is little wonder that many of the so called kids channel are full of advertisements that have nothing to do with children. I too had a taste of these baby mature consumers in the last few days two. In the first instance, my daughter asked me one evening while I was trying to put her to bed "dad do children make crackers"? I said yes several lakh of them are employed in making crakers and that there was a whole history of Child labour beginning with the Industrial Revolution were little boys where send down the mines and up the chimneys. The next demand was obviously to buy firecrackers "lots of them" but withiout noise. It made me realise how tiny consumers were very mature... there was guilt of consumption, there was greed for consumption and there was awareness behind what was to be consumed at th instersection of guilt and greed. In the second instance, while watching TV with my daughter, I noted with excitement the ad for a famous children's movie and before I could tell my daughter "we must watch it together", she said "how stupid, do they expect us to watch a movie at 9PM on Diwali evening"!
I am learning fast from my new teacher, what to consume, how to consume, how to prioritise comsumption and what not to consume......

Prime and Sub-Prime

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 19:05:00 +0000

At the sub-prime of my life and with lack of a degree in economics it is a bit of a dare devilry to talk about the so called sub-prime crisis that is causing much heart-burn everywhere. Don't worry I am not going to go deep into the problem and suggest authentic remedies - there are hosts of people doing just that [they never read English and are not aware of the adage "too many cooks spoil the broth"]. I am here just to make my little bowl of soup and move on. The so called sub-prime crisis which is the grandmother of all crises now faced by financial institutions across the globe, has been played out in a way that seems to give the impression that poor americans took loans and were unable to play. And by implication, poor people across the world are bad news for lenders. This inference is dangerous: firstly because poor people need loans more than rich; and more importantly, empirical evidence from micro financing institutions show that poor people have the best record of repayment [he pays up for he needs another loan after repayment].
What has not been brought out clearly that the present crisis has been brought about by the greed of a few persons, who had huge powers of manipulating, cheating and otherwise doing anything possible to increase their variable salaries and performance based bonuses. They were usually very rich people and they wanted to become richer. The surprising thing is not that such people would be greedy. What is surprising thing is that they could hold everyone including mighty governments to ransom and get away scott free in the name of free markets. It is time that some of these people were brought to book and made to face the music. And the sub-prime crisis should be promptly renamed super prime crisis.

JB My Friend and Teacher

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:28:00 +0000

My friend, my former colleague, a most enchanting gentlemen is no more. He was not yet 60, to be precise he was just 57 or 58. He had gone for a routine check up, a chest congestion problem and was suggested a bipass. He never came back to us after that. This was on the day that this year the Durga Pujas began.
JB what the fuck you thought you were doing? Just going off like that? Why could you not hold on for infinity? Fight the inefficiency of the doctors and nurses and live to tell is the tale? Why should we suffer becuase of your softness, kindness and gentleness? Your caring for us? Your gentle ways? Your ways as a gentleman? Why should we suffer ur absence?
Remember, what u said to me about ur grandfather? About your experience as a student in Delhi? About making me knowledgeable on the history of Assam? And much more?
Why did u have to do this? Where will we learn our manners? Our correctness? Our behaviour while enjoying rich gossip? How will we know what class is? And what classiness is? How will we know what it means to pitch for quality rather than quantity?
You have ditched us early JB, and this is not fair......... All of us are left shallower since your deeper nuances will no longer be with us any more.
I have never me Romola, but I hear that she wore the pants in the family... Bullshit.... if she wore the pants, you certainly wore the suits.....
JB this was no way to go, please come back if you can.
PS: In case u do not know who JB was, his picture is above left.......

Power Surplus or Surplus of Power

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:22:00 +0000

Read in the day's newspapers that Delhi would soon be power surplus. No this is no thanks to the not yet signed and sealed nuclear deal thantIndia has recently signed. It is about the fact that Delhi is going to have more electricity than it can consume. The efficient and erudite Chief Minister of Delhi has a very subtle way of campaigning for elections, so one is not sure if this is yet another announcement. I am also not sure if this was a "bought news" [read advertorial] or a "free news".
Even with so many uncertain thoughts, this is the best news that the citizens of this city have got in years. For many years, Delhi has lacked two essential components that make great cities ample water and uninterrupted power supply. It amazes me that a whole modern city could thrive and grow on all sides without sufficient electricity and water. But Delhiites being what they are have artfully managed that.
So no longer buying expensive invertors, batteries, generators etc. [what would happen to these guys?]
But even after everthing has been saud and done much remains to be said. For example: Why did it take so long for a city full of powerful people to get sufficient power? Does this mean that the powerful people in the city never actually suffered from lack of power? Does power surplus mean assured good quality power where we can also do away with the UPS like in Mumbai? But then that would mean a differnt story altoghther. For now, I will take the news or advertorial for what it really is - a subtle election time propaganda.

Al Zajira, CNN and Terrorism

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:27:00 +0000

I feel so proud these days as an Indian. We have not yet sent a man to moon and we have had to lean on our Russian friends to send a person to the orbit, but we have come of age so far as terrorism is concerned. Gone are the days when people manning the PMO [Prime Minister's Office] could sit back smugly and declare the hand of our friends across the border was at work in a case of terrorist attack. We now have our home grown, home bred geniuses doing it for us.... Delhi, Ahmedabad, Surat, Bangalore, BAD or worse, are our making. These are our boys not some organised Soldier and Gentlemen across the border.... . We have finally arrived in an area we have been lagging since the 1980s when some of our sikh brothers decided there is more to be made in business than in terrorism and renewed the efforts to migrate to cooler climes.
I do not want to delve into the causes behind terrorism and the factors that will bring them down. There are people who are paid to do this [yes they get paid at the level of an union secretary even after retirement and some of their grandchildren have just become jobless post the failure of i-banks in the US so they need the money much more than we do]
The point is about the media...... Isn't terrorsim more a handiwork of CNN, Al Zajira, NDTV, IndiaTV and all other media? No? Ok.
Media would say that most people "like" terrorism on TV as much as they like seeing mothers of children who have died in 30 feet ditches, or fathers whose sons have been arrested by police as terrorists, or boys whose brothers have been killed because some rich business man or rich peasant did not want to lose honour.
Even if we want it that way, is it the business of the media to show what we want? Aren't there are some dos and donts, principles, ethics, operating principles? No?
Then let me say on behalf of a depraved nation, we want to see porn everyday especially those involving nicely done up white women and those revealing private lives of our leader, and especially those telling us whose child studies where and whose wife sleeps with whom.
We as audience are dying to know these things. Please give us a break from the gory details of people dying of terrorist attacks and please let us have some fun on TV by showing on "popular demand" the private lives of politicians and journalists. We would send your TRP shooting through the roof just give us a chance.

Delhi Women and Bearded Men

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:53:00 +0000

Just above the headlines the Hindustan Times carried this smaller headline leading to a news in the inside pages of the paper " Delhi women prefer to kiss clean shaven men". The Headlines screamed "Police Release Sketches of Suspected Bombers". This was a few days back and the headlines referred to the bomb blasts in Delhi.

Apart from the obvious surrealism of these two lines appearing together, the survey raises interesting questions [Quite apart from the most obvious question which shaving razor manufacturer could have sponsored the "research"?].

The first question that came to my mind was what type of women did the survey interview? Please note that Delhi is home to three of the most powerful women in India Mrs Sonia Gandhi, Mrs Pratibha Patil and Mrs Sheila Dikshit - were these and others such as Mrs Renuka Chaudhary, Mrs Jayanti Natarajan, Mrs Sushma Swaraj and Mrs Meira Kumar interviewed for the survey? I mean these are women of substance, if they were not a part of the survey on behaviour of women, the survey has no meaning.

The second question that came to my mind was in a city dominated by our Sardar and Jat friends who are very particular about their facial hair - the whole hog in the case of former and on upper lip in case of the latter - are our sisters in Delhi going Kissless for generations? Is this leading to further social tensions? Should our brothers in Delhi show some TLC to our Delhi sisters and take up that offer from the razor manufacturer to stem the tide of social tension?

The third question was more sinisiter - Do these surveys really matter to the Delhiwalla? We do not ask women of their opinion, nay dont even consider that they exist except when we feel naughty and want to pinch them and in any case most of the times we kill them even before they are born.....

There are surely better ways to sell razors to Delhi men... [what about " A lethal steel weapon, well crafted to kill and maim - you can also shave with it"]

Amen

PS: Look at the picture carefully, Aren't shaving razors beginning to look more and more like potato peelers? What does that make you, Brother?

Hardening Up

noreply@blogger.com (Subho Ray) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:29:00 +0000

It has happened to me quite a few times in quite a few places. The first time it happened was when I was 14 years old and standing in a rather violent queue for a first day first show in my native land. A boy of my age decently attired came up to me and said that he had come from the nearby town and had lost his parents and did not have the bus fare to go back. I trusted him and gave him two rupees [the cost of the cinema ticket was three rupees just to give u a sense of "relativity"]. Crooked that I was even at that age, I started thinking if I had done the right thing or if I was royally cheated [My friends took me for a fool] and I promised not to be so gullible again.
The next time it happended was in Calcutta again at a cinema ticket counter, this time I was old enough to watch adult movies. A smartly dressed gent came up to me and on the pretext of losing his wallet asked for 25 rupees. I hesitated for a moment and then give away 25 rupees [a dress circle ticket at New Empire cost only 5.75 rupees then, u get the "relativity".
The last time it happened was in New Delhi railway station one fine morning when I was catching a train to Bihar. Again well-dressed gentleman with a wife in tow came up to me and said they they too were victims of pickpockets and had lost their money and tickets to Patna. Yes once again, I forked out 300 rupees again with that nagging feeling at the back of my head "was I being taken for a ride?".
Many years passed without trouble and things started improving. In fact for six years in my small way, I started paying a pound to homeless, buskers and drunks in various nooks and crannies of London. But the deal was simple, you give money for food or beer [no busker claimed to have been cheated by a recording company and no drunk claimed to buy vitamins]. And I started thinking world had changed while I was getting older - we were moving towards more transparency and clear RoI on charities.
So when this old lady stood in front of my seat in the AC first class compartment of Rajdhani Express one evening at Mumbai Central and claimed that she wanted to go back to Azamgarh and needed six hundred rupees, I hesitated checked my head first and then my heart, the latter once again won and I parted with the money feeling rather smug having helped an elderly person reach her family.
My happiness lasted for two weeks. Exactly a fornight later under exactly the same circumstances, I found the same lady in front of me with the same story asking for exactly the same amount of money. I will not tell you what I did... But all these and many other stories came to my mind that night and I was convinced that all my life I was gullible and a victim of cheats.
Now I am a hardened man, [I have even stopped paying the beggar at Defence Colony the customary one rupee that I paid everyday for three years].
Can you blame me? I keep feeling guilty though, especially when I pass under the Andheri flyover in Mumbai or the Moolchand crossing in Delhi.