Old Sailor 2007

How things in life can go wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:05:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

As we all could see and hear on the news that a modern Cruise liner went of it’s normal position and sank close to the Italian island Giglio on Friday the 13th is a strange combination of human error and bad luck. Or are the supersticious people right about this special day, question is why did the captain go overboard or is he just another asshole that is only thinking about himself? It must be a drama if you were part of it as your life will never be the same again. Eventhough It is this year a quarter of a century ago that I had to take part in military support actions during the disaster with the roro ferry Herald of Free Enterprise. A picture that is never gone out of my memory.

Herald of Free Enterprise

My thoughts go out to the families and friends of the ones that passed away or have gone missing during this disaster. It will take many years to pick up your life and see the sun shining again. At least that is my experience as being only a helper on the side not doing anything else then my job at that time.

Costa Concordia in better days

Following the tragic Costa Concordia accident, Carnival Corporation & plc, parent company of Costa Cruises and nine leading cruise lines around the world, today announced a comprehensive audit and review of all safety and emergency response procedures across all of the company’s cruise lines.Carnival Corporation & plc and the cruise industry as a whole have maintained an excellent safety record over the years. “However, this tragedy has called into question our company’s safety and emergency response procedures and practices,” said Micky Arison, chairman and CEO of Carnival Corporation & plc. “While I have every confidence in the safety of our vessels and the professionalism of our crews, this review will evaluate all practices and procedures to make sure that this kind of accident doesn’t happen again.”

Initial timeline and track of the Costa Concordia grounding.

Friday 13 January 2012.

Times and positions approximate.

2116 = 9:16 pm local time.

1900. Costa Concordia departs Civitavecchia.

2116. Costa Concordia turns left toward Isola del Giglio in order to pass close to the island. This deviation will add a short distance to this overnight leg and require a slightly higher overall speed. This ship is doing 15.5 kts.

2133. Costa Concordia is on course 276 (almost due West) at 15.5 kts approaching Isola del Giglio. The island is about 2000 yards directly in front of Costa Concordia. The plan is to turn right, toward the north, and leave the island to the port side.

2136. Costa Concordia commences turn to the right late, maintaining speed of 15.5 kts. Due to advance and transfer, the momentum of the vessel will carry it closer to the island before the turn to the new course is completed. It looks like the new course was planned to be something like 320.

2138. Costa Concordia strikes charted rocks off Isola del Giglio on her port side. Power is lost to the electrical plant and propulsion. The ship starts to slow. The crew announces there is a power outage and reports to Isola del Giglio that they need no assistance. Many news report are quoting “9:30″ or 2130 as the time of the impact. That time isn’t supported by the AIS data below.

2145. First alarm is sounded.

2145-2150. Ship begins to list.

2200. Bow thruster is used to turn bow to the right. The ships is moving slowly toward Giglio, likely the result of current.

2242. Accident is reported to port authorities.

2250. Abandon ship order is given.

0100. Schettino reports only 40 people remain on board. In fact there are hundreds.

0146. Italian Coast Guard orders Schettino to return to Costa Concordia.

source of AIS data:

AIS data for Costa Concordia night of 13 January 2012. Times are GMT, one hour different than that on the ship.

At present it appears that Carnival Cruise Lines (and their subsidiary Costa Crociere) are treating this as a special cause event, the actions of a rogue sea master. Costa Crociere’’s statement already indicates this is the direction they are headed. What needs to be investigated are issues of command and leadership. To what degree are tenets such as “forceful backup” and “a questioning attitude” prevalent. Further, the system surrounding selection, training, and routine monitoring of masters needs to be scrutinized sufficienty in order to understand whether Mr. Schettino was indeed a rogue captain operating outside the system, or whether there were systemic contributors to this tragedy.

If the investigation focuses solely on the actions on board Costa Concordia the evening of Friday 13 January, then the probability of recurrence is 100%.

A stricken Costa Concordia.

The statement Micky Arison, CEO of Carnival Cruise Lines should issue.

It is with sadness and regret that I report the latest on the Costa Concordia tragedy. As of 0700 this morning xx bodies have been recovered and xx people remain unaccounted for. Our search efforts continue.

Our subsidiary and operator of the Costa Concordia, Costa Crociere issued a statement that identified significant human error on the part of the ship’s master as the likely immediate cause of this accident. While that appears thus far to be true, I don’t believe the statement goes far enough in describing my responsibility for safe cruising and the actions we are taking.

I have directed for following.

We have provided all cruise ship captains with all available information about the Costa Concordia accident and aftermath. As more information becomes available, I will pass that to them. Cruise ships at sea will continue their itineraries. All captains of cruise ships in port will recertify to me personally that they understand their responsibilities to operate within the procedures, ensure their crews are operating within procedures and the paramount importance of passenger safety, prior to getting underway.

I have directed full compliance with the investigating body and commissioned an independent company investigation that will report directly to the Board.

This investigation will proceed in 2 phases.

In the first phase, the immediate causes of the grounding, capsizing, and incomplete evacuation will be investigated. The intent is not only to understand why the ship was so far off course, and how it’s navigational safety equipment malfunctioned, but how the damage control efforts to control the flooding failed to prevent the ship from capsizing.

When complete, I will recommend a public release of our findings and actions.

In the second phase, which will likely take several months, the investigation will look into the distant causes of the accident. We will understand how ship design, manufacture, crew training, and leadership structures all affected this event.

It would be too easy to identify this accident as the rogue action of a single irresponsible master and I am not going to take that route. I have charged the investigators with understanding and identifying the role that fundamental questions of company culture toward safety, the willingness of subordinates to question the direction of superiors, and the ability of watchstanding teams to respond with resilience to unanticipated events.

In this investigation, no decision will be off limits no matter who made them or how removed they may seem from the immediate event.

Leadership lessons from the Costa Concordia tragedy.

In the evening of 13 January 2012 the modern cruise ship Costa Concordia with about 4300 souls aboard grounded and capsized off the Italian Isola del Giglio. The death toll is likekly to run into the 20s.

It now appears that the captain, Francesco Schettino directed the ship alter course to take it very close to the island as a sort of nautical fly-by as a tribute to one of ship’s company who was from that island. From the photos, it is apparent that the ship was passing very close to the shore. These waters have been plied since before the Romans and the chance that any rocks were uncharted is unthinkable.

Don’t we wish that one of the other crewmen spoke up against this reckless, dangerous, and ultimately lethal stunt? As captain of a nuclear powered submarine I strove to give a few orders as possible in order to maintain a detached perspective on the actions of the ship, balancing safety and operational tasking dispassionately. In a strong leader-follower culture, the leader gives orders and the others follow. Asking questions is discouraged. It would appear that this is another case of leader-follower in action.

A bigger question lies for the cruise ship company: Costa lines and the parent company Carnival Cruise lines.

How is such a leadership structure tolerated on board their cruise ships? This is a throwback to the 18th century “Master and Commander” style leadership: top-down, autocratic, imperious, and wrong.

Did someone challenge the Captain's ill-thought out orders?

I only can see this as a bad decission of one captain it is no needed to be scared to go on a cruise but it is something to think about. If you might go cruising just realize that you might need to rescue yourself one day and you are happy if you have read the safety instructions.

The Old Sailor,

Diabetes the silent killer

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:21:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

I am familiar for a while now with the diagnoses diabetes but no one is telling you about the risk that you might possibly die of this bloody disease in the Netherlands about 40 of a 1000 men will die due to being overweight, high bloodpressure, kidney faillure or vascular problems. So it is really time to take more care of me and find a different way to care about the rest of my family. Otherwise I might get into really big trouble. Complications will sneak in sooner or later.

Some practical things that you can do to help during this time include the following:

Learn as much as possible about your disease. At times, ignorance or a lack of understanding is your worst enemy. Arm yourself with information in order to lessen frustration. Do not hesitate to ask questions about your disease. You may wish to keep a notebook with all of the medical records and information about your diagnosis; sometimes, you can be too numb or too upset at the hospital and realize later that you forgot everything the physician had said. Further you should stick to your diet and stay in shape as it is your body and your life.

Keep a journal of your feelings about your disease and the impact on your life. As time goes on, you may be able to look back and see that things are improving.

Learn about your health benefits so that you understand what expenses will be covered by insurance.

Continue doing your usual, daily activities. You will still have grocery shopping, laundry, and going through the mail to do on a daily or weekly basis. Having some of these "regular" activities will help you cope and feel more in control.

Take care of your family relationships. Although your primary focus is on your diabetes, it is important to also spend time as you normally would with your family, friends, and spouse. It is healthy to have fun together. Relieving stress and strengthening family relationships will allow you to cope better with your disease.

Utilize the support groups in the area, as well as national support groups and their resources. Find out about supportive services available at the hospital or doctors post to help you cope, such as the availability of social workers and/or meetings with other families. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Each family's need for support is unique. Friends and family members will often ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Consider saying "yes" to this question and ask them to pick up your groceries, help with the laundry or housecleaning, pick up your children from their extracurricular activities, or make dinner. "Assigning" a friend or family member something to do to help you will also help them feel like they are contributing.

Avoid emotionally draining situations. Sometimes, well-meaning friends and family members will say the worst possible thing at the time of a diabetes diagnosis especially on the bad news stories. They truly want to help or be supportive, but sometimes do not know how to respond. Their words may hurt you or disappoint you, even though that was not their intention. You must realize that people will not know what your needs are unless you tell them. Sometimes, it is simply easier to be forthright and tell someone "I would just like you to sit quietly with me and keep me company" or "I need to spend some time alone right now." Do not be afraid to express your needs during this time.

Other people may want to talk to you about their experiences with diabetes. They may believe that they are being helpful to you, but instead may be making your situation feel even more overwhelming. It is important for you to avoid these discussions if they are not helping you. It is healthy to be "selfish" and ask for what you need, as well as what you do not need during this time.

Share what you have learned. You will have important knowledge and skills that you learn as you experience your illness. You could help others and their families by sharing your experiences.

And how to explain your kids in my case:

School-aged children (6 to 12 years of age):

They need repeated reassurance that he/she is not responsible for the diabetes

teaching that sadness, anger, and guilt are normal feelings

allowing your child to keep feelings private, if that is preferred

suggesting personal recording of thoughts, feelings through writing, drawing

arranging for physical activity, when possible

providing explanations for your child so it can understand about your diabetes and the treatment plan.

answering all questions honestly and in understandable language, including, "Are you going to die?" (talk with diabetes care team about how to answer)

listening for unasked questions

facilitating communication with siblings, friends, and classmates, if desired

teaching about normal feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, or anger

encouraging sibling to communicate feelings; suggesting sibling write, telephone, send drawings or taped message to patient

explaining that parents' distress, sadness, or crying is okay

Adolescents (13 to 18 years of age and older):

giving information on normal emotional reactions to a diabetes diagnosis

encouraging expression of feelings to someone: parents, family, or classmates

tolerating any reluctance to communicate thoughts and feelings

encouraging journal keeping

providing repeated reassurance that they are not responsible for causing the diabetes

being included in all discussions with parents about diagnosis and treatment planning

being encouraged to ask questions (parents should listen for unasked questions)

addressing spiritual concerns about "Why?"

offering assurance that parents and family members will be able to manage crisis

encouraging sharing news of diagnosis with friends, and classmates

arranging for visits of friends

reassuring that diabetes is not contagious

offering assurance that nothing they did or said caused the diabetes

providing detailed information on diagnosis and treatment plan

answering all questions honestly

encouraging expression of feelings

arranging for management of daily life at home

providing assurance that family will be able to handle crisis

informing teachers and coaches of family situation

encouraging usual involvement in school and other activities

Diabetes in the Family - Talking to Kids about Diabetes

Few things impact a family more than a diagnosis of diabetes. Every member of the family and every aspect of your life will be affected such as relationships, money, time and energy. Parents diagnosed with diabetes must not only face their own fears and uncertainty, they must also help their children cope with this life-altering reality.

Communication is key throughout the diabetes journey. Understanding children’s developmental stages can help parents understand the way their child views illness. You should also take into account the individual child’s temperament. It is important to remember that children are more resilient than you might anticipate.

Yet it is important to tell your children about your situation. You can say something like, “diabetes is a serious, but treatable disease.” As far as treatment, children should be told that the doctors are working to make you better. They should also know what will happen in the next few days or weeks and also about how long treatment will take.

Do I talk about the possibility of my dying?

You may be worried about dying and so might your children. In general, if your physician is optimistic about your chances for recovery, you do not need to tell your children you could die. Be honest and encourage your children to share their fears and worries with you. Your children may ask you if you could die. Carefully consider your response. Balance honesty with the emotional impact of such news and leave the door open for future questions. Take into account the child’s developmental age and understanding of time when answering this question.

What if they ask questions I have already answered?

Asking the same question repeatedly is normal for children. Absorbing the reality of a diabetes diagnosis is difficult for everyone. Forgetting information is common for both children and adults in times of great stress. Do not feel like a failure if it seems your children do not understand your explanations. By answering your children’s questions over and over again, you are helping to ease their worries. Sometimes children may test you to see if your answers stay the same. Try a different approach to answer your child’s questions each time they ask.

Should I tell others about my diabetes? Teachers? Friends?

People vary in the length of time it takes to feel comfortable talking about diabetes. It can be a strain for children to feel as if they need to keep your diabetes secret. Chances are the news will leak out anyway. Consider who the important people in your child’s life are. Often it is their teachers, coaches, scout leaders, music instructors and the parent’s of their friends. Sharing the news with these people allows them to interact with your children in helpful ways. It will help teachers make sense of any behavior changes.

The Old Sailor,

Down memory lane with funny feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:30:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

The new year just has started and nothing really has changed, our house is still for sale and I am still married to the the same women that I have met nineteen years ago. My god I am getting old as I talk about my yesteryears. Yes I have f***ked up life pretty much but who cares I was happy. I was doing all kinds of things as I was smoking, drinking and all kinds of other things when I was a youngster, I tried my luck Down Under but came back broke and disappointed as a recession broke out. And my job came to an end.

I am going to have some funny feelings now. Somehow I am embarrassed at how often in the past I have publicly posted about my deepest desires, thoughts, emotions, confessions, bowel movements and my good old days at sea. So if you’re somebody who doesn’t want to hear about Old Sailors past trauma, you may now run away. Strange how all of a sudden these memories can jump up and swing you back to your “good old days.”

Let us begin with my teenage years. As we needed to pick up someone from the ferry we past a farm and that is not that strange in the North as we are the dairy part of the country. Close to the island up the coast of Holland there was an old farm; there were outbuildings, a woodshed, a barn, fields, and a beautiful salt cove that leads out onto the bay. Every single room and outbuilding and crawl space on that approx 80 acres of grass fields, and every dark saltwater inlet haven, is filled with memories, just how it should be with an old house. These are some of the only really good memories I have of my childhood. I only know what it feels like to be truly, deeply carefree and happy, because I remember a time when I lived together with my brother and sisters on my parents ponyfarm and was surrounded by love.

I had a great youth but also some rough times as a kid. But there were more happy than sad moments in my life eventhough there was nothing really challenging in the little village where I was born and raised, I left home at twentytwo and moved halfway across the globe to figure out who I was outside of that place. For me home is both a precious gem and a bed of quicksand. After I came back and brushed my old life again, I met a girl but my dreams were still wild and i started sailing. I left her behind to start a different adventure again to work as a bartender on a cruiseship. Although the job was good the money was ok, I got for the second time in my life homesick. Then life is really getting painful. When I had been gone long enough, I figured out that I could someday go back and reconcile with Home, really face my past and maybe let some things go, but I never did.

Until one day my mum and dad sold the house and later also the ponyfarm. It was time for them to retire and enjoy their own lives as they were giving many kids a second home at the farm. I actually lived in a live childrensbook story and that was kind of strange but on the other hand so familiar, it felt like having some extra brothers and sisters. All of a sudden the so well known place was belonging to someone else.

A couple of years later my mum past away although my dad is still around, he is getting really old and more and more fragile. Together with my sisters and brother he is the last one that know that little boy from those past years. Even when I grew up now and saw a lot of things in my turbulent life, I probably might have hurt a couple of persons feelings but that is because I can be pretty straight forward knowing that life can be crap and reckless.

I’ve moved around my whole life and had more then ten different jobs. I am like a sailboat pulling anchor during every storm, constantly aching to be brought back to home port, to her mooring. But I never left my anchor down for long. Then I got brought onshore and hauled about a hundred kilometres inland up North, where for years I was that little sailboat, born at sea, meant to be afloat, living on hot, dry land and surrounded by trees. Instead of sea lavender and gulls. But I digress. Also women went topless at the local pool – that was a plus. Eventually, after a decade, life is not that bad here and we have to hope for a buyer of our property, even with my soul moored close to an island off the coast of Holland, someplace like that could actually become home at least to part of me. If I only could afford it, I did not become rich. I even fail to make money on this blog, but who cares it is a nice hobby.

Letting go has happened without my knowing it, over the past 25 years – school, college, friends and loves, sleeping on park benches and being pissed like monkeys, sleeping in the funniest places as every corner of the country had to be seen and rolled by when we looked out the windows of our car. Flexible careers, partner, childbirth, children, big mistakes, redemption, healing that happened when I wasn’t looking.

Here in Lippenhuizen, I’ve delighted in the springtime crocuses and daffodils, the miracle of ice coating and sparkling every branch and twig, fall colors, certain songbirds, things I left behind and yearned for that South east Friesland has in common with South west Friesland. And I’ve discovered that there are things to love that are, for me, particular to this place.

In this neighborhood people or more orientated on their own families. And I have been married for years to a community-oriented culture where family comes before individualism. I was used to people that simply walked in for a cup of coffee or tea or a neighbor that wanted to borrow a few tools. That is not what you will find here. Yes we are living in a wonderful new house with enough room, in a beautiful neighborhood – and being able to stay here, not because we’re making a crapload of money, but because good housing here is working-class affordable.

My parents did hardly fight at least not when I was around. When I was twentytwo and I left the country my mum was sad but hoped I would find a better life, eventhough most of my funny plans ended into faillure and since then, any happiness I’ve felt has tugged on a deeply entrenched sense of loss as old as my soul. On a deep level, for me, Home, happiness, can only be visited. Every other weekend, and my dear father will be there, and will now belong to our kids. Eventhough he is getting more fragile he is still enjoying the kids to be around. He is getting quickly tired so we do not make it too long when we are there. But our kids love to go to grandad in Langweer and that is the best feeling you can get as a parent.

Here’s what’s going to happen. When this place gets sold, along with the grief, I’ll feel like something inside me has been set free. In fact, I’m already feeling that old barnacle-covered mooring tugging up, inch by inch, with each day that I further process the transformations that are happening in my family. Remember, about the marker buoys: Right Red Returning, and stay out of Hellgate in your small boat. Look for the phosporescent creatures that sparkle like underwater galaxies on black nights at full tide. Maybe you’ll find a squid after a good storm. Or a message in a bottle – maybe mine, finally come home after many years at sea.

If you gaze at the stars and your boat rocks on the waves, you will hopefully think of me being out there on the pitch black sea.

The Old Sailor,

The dream

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 13:09:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

First of all happy 2012 to you all that read my blog, I went to bed early last night around 2 o'clock because I’ve been down with a nasty bug the last few days of 2011. I snuggled down into my covers with pillows surrounding me and fell into blessed sleep. I woke at 7 AM this needing more cough medicine and another slathering of Vicks. To man of my age the flu is a near death experience. After having had 5 hours of sleep already, it was tough to fall back into that comfortable oblivion. I finally made it around nine in the morning and had the following dream….

I walk up the steps of a house that we have checked out on the internet and it was surrounded by snow, the doorpost lit with Christmas lights and the livingroom window decorated with a lovely garland, a rocking chair with red cushions, a rustic end table with an antique lantern and a pot of hot chocolate waiting for the tasting. After a few minutes of a gentle swing and the warmth of the tasty brew, I take my cup and head for the door. Damn it feels like home and hopefully it is a dream come true this time. As I very seldom can remember my awkward dreams.

Surprised and pleased I open the door to a spacious room with a cheerful fire dancing in the hearth. Every bit of the house is decorated with lovely decorations and fresh sprigs of evergreen and holly. The kitchen sits at one end of the house, a succulent meal waiting in the oven, home baked cookies and candies fill a tiered tray and fresh coffee brews on the counter. Inspecting the contents of the refrigerator and cupboards, I see that nothing has been overlooked. There is food aplenty for breakfast, lunch and dinner with snacks to enjoy between. Yes I dream about food and that is though being on a strict diet of low carbs.

Exploring the living room I find a shelf filled with books to my liking and a cozy throw and pillows on a comfy chair by the fire. Next to the chair is a basket with wood and fire place tools hooks, to poke up the fire on the table has a drawing tablet and all the essentials to create with. To the side of the room sits a desk filled with a laptop and supplies for writing on paper the old fashioned way. A camera patiently wait for my use. An entertainment center holds a television, DVD player, stereo, DVDs and CDs for my enjoyment.

I climb up a spiral staircase to an open loft above to find a large bed with a dark but warm blanket, a couple of pillows in different shapes and sizes and a bed-stand with a laptop and a spot to hold a coffeepot and cup for my nights of snuggling in and writing. The bathroom sits to one side of the loft and houses a great shower only

I am charmed and somewhat giddy over the idea that I have this lovely piece of heaven to myself. I reach for my cellphone to call my family to thank them for this gift and find that I haven’t brought my phone with me. Panic hits me where is my family? And how can I reach them? I open the computer to log on to facebook to at least contact my wife, only to find that facebook and email is not allowed. I am able to browse the internet, but there will be no contact with the outside world for these two weeks.

My heart begins to ache. I’d rather share this place with the ones I love. How can I spend Christmas alone in the perfect place, perfectly decorated and saturated with the things I love if the people I love aren’t with me? I try to enjoy the amenities of this wondrous place but find I fall deeper into despair. I want to leave but have no idea how I’ve arrived. Can I find a way home before Christmas arrives to spend that blessed holiday with those I hold dear?

In the living room, a mysterious door appears and I cautiously open it to inspect the contents. It is a hallway that leads to room after room of beds, bathrooms, a playroom. My heart aches even more at the emptiness I find. I wander back to the living room and sit on the floor before the fire, feeling sorry for myself and sorry for those I’ve left behind. Is this the future did I do something stupid or what. Panic strikes me again.

Steps on the path drag my eyes away from the fire. The door opens and through my tears I see the faces of those I love file into the cozy house.

I woke at that point to the sound of my wife placing our daughter into our bed before she would wake up the rest of the family who had a long night last night.

I am fully awake in my own home filled with love, mess and crappy decorations. Still achy and sick from the flu, but so much happier than I could ever be in this perfect little house with all the perfect decorations and amenities. Without those people who make life beautiful for me the perfection of that place would feel beyond empty, barren.

This kind of emotions probably run through my brain due to the things that are happening in our neighborhood at the moment. two couples have been broken up due to adultery and they have been good friends for many years. But if one starts doing the other it soon becomes a life soap opera affecting most painfully the "innocent" partners and specially the poor little kids. How can people that stupid. Again this morning hell broke loose.

It must be hard that you are left with a broken heart and broken future dreams. But I wander always did the victims not give enough to their own partners or is it the adventure to have sex with a familiar "stranger"? Don't they realize that they will ruin their kids lives as much as their own. It is pretty hectic for a sleepy village like this. And it has been going on for a few years. It was found out by a extreme high cell phone bill. Silly how all of sudden things can turn.

Think before you do and still do many other things impulsive.

The Old Sailor,

This one is for mama

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 22:09:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Today I will link my blog to the action of the Dutch radiostation 3FM and the Red Cross.

Timur Perlin, Gerard Ekdom and Coen Swijnenberg

3 Radio jocks lock themselves in a glass house for six nights and days and make non stop radio and out of solidarity they will not eat for six days as well. During these days the try to gather money for the good cause.

Serious Request gives me always the ultimate Christmas feeling. Yes, and what it is ... Indeed I think, a kind of typical Dutch solidarity cosiness (in a positive way of course) is also always there. All together for a good cause. Yes, that is something that I find beautiful. And not only because it is for a good cause but also because I think it's a lot of people really getting a warm feeling that they do something good and it brings us closer together.

When it would be close to my village, I would take a look several times. The last couple of years I thought it was still a little too far. I look and listen a lot via the internet and view the evening often equally to the summary. Furthermore I can watch all day if don’t need to work as I have interactive tv now with 101tv on it.

I'm still in two minds about that song I want to request, perhaps multiple ... I am not the richest but for a couple of euros you might save an other mother and child. My mom already left us but in her name I will request both songs. Every day fighting against the wounds and scars that were left by a war can link to questions, that seems to me very important to do well in your own little way

Check out the websites to request your favourite song, donate money or order something from the webshop or do a bid on the auction. Here they come http://seriousrequest.3fm.nl/ or http://www.3fm.nl/home

Have a Merry Christmas and a Good Newyear

The Old Sailor,

Our Christmas Survival

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 01:40:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

This Christmas, I am sidestepping as host in my kitchen and moving over to give my oldest daughter the honors of putting together her now very famous Tomato and Mushroom Soup! Being the good sport that I am, I will graciously surrender our kitchen and temporarily relinquish my right as Head Chef in my home, for one night only. Mmuahhhhhh! It’s my kitchen and I’ll cry if I want to. But together we will make the main course and I will make dessert, and no-one is going to stop me. (Not because of her skills in cooking, but timing is tough for a 12 year old girl) So there!

My daughter has become a great cook in her own right. But she has now also become my unwilling rival (I’m smiling here with oozing pride!). I learn her as much as I can although I am not the greatest cook ever. Mom is teaching her also a couple of usefull skills and at school she is enjoying the cooking lessons as well. The other family members made the ’ request, that, my daughter will make their favorite soup on Christmas dinner for the whole family and a dish that clearly only she knows how to make best. Her Fantasy Soup, thus far, is supreme, unbeatable—even restaurants we’ve sampled have yet to compare. And I am not just blowing a lot of hot air here either; this is seriously good slurping!

The flavor she provokes from this one-pot liquid wonder is, to quote Granddad, And I am NOT allowed in the kitchen while she is cooking. I am not allowed even a glimpse of how she puts together this liquid gold. Only things I am allowed to do is cutting tomatos and mushrooms. I really enjoy to cook together with her as she is as disorganized as myself. The kitchen looks like battlefield but together we have a big laugh and satisfied customers.

So I was concerned there would be much disappointment and even rioting from our clan that will be gathering for Christmas dinner, expecting a roast, our usual yearly Christmas fare. Things have changed diet wise and the others don’t want to cook. But disappointment came only from the pure carnivores in the family – only one. When we explained the menu it was not so bad and there is at least chicken or turkey on it. But that will hold for Christmas only.

So now I sit here contemplating on what will make the perfect ending to a most exquisite savory Tomato and Mushroom Soup. Hmm....... delicious!

Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the small things in live.

The Old Sailor,

Chaos in the house

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 10:02:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

It’s been a busy month at our house. The main event during this hectic month that just passed is my youngest daughter’s got her second swimming diploma. We’ve been celebrating since last month when she received her diploma and in the mean time Sinterklaas had arrived. Follow that with all the end of the year events for two daughters and a wife and you can see how hectic things have been around our house. It’s a good kind of chaos though, one that I’m sure I am not the only parent to welcome.

Now, it’s on to christmas and new year! The weather has got worse. Raining, hailstones and stormy nights, actually, as we seem to be kicking off winter with a vengeance and we just about bypassed autumn altogether. We hadn’t done much with the garden this year. It’s looking a bit overgrown and neglected. What you see growing there right now is grass. They just came up on their own without any effort on our part. Not too bad, I’ve still been able to mow the lawn in November Maybe when I get finished with my projects we can finally get our garden together again. But for now, the randomness is fine. Anyway the place is still for sale.

My backyard has been in chaos since early spring as we have been again reorganizing and restructuring the backyard. One of my major projects was building a new roof on the storage house and getting rid of the old roofing that has been blown away in the last storm. I am doing all this on my own and I yes this is one of the times that I wish I would’ve had a son to help me to do the ‘man’ jobs. Don’t get me wrong here, as I am proud of my princesses and they are great helps. I think that I do a great job though, albeit slow since I also have to work in my paying job in between. No matter, I enjoy seeing the changes that I am making.

For one, I like the way the shed looks after I put the new roofing on, especially when the sun is just rising in the morning. When I look over the backyard from the bedroom of my daughter and overthink my situation.

When I have my morning coffee and look up just as the sun hits the kitchen window just right, I can see the light that soon lights up my backyard will be back in order again in a few months. Just as life, I know all the hectic activities swirling around us right now will also soon stop and I will be missing this time as I sit quietly and in peace in the backyard, watching the birds looking for food and checking out the new birdfeeding house. A quick peak and then they fly away. I will be missing the chaos because that’s just the way life is. You always want more of what you don’t have right now.

Just a few days more to overcome and christmas is on our doorstep again from that point we will enter the next year. Soon the time comes that the first one will fly out and will make her own nest. Yes, time flies when your having fun. All of a sudden I am realizing that we are getting the elder working generation. I hope everyone will have a nice chaotic and hectic time if you are celebrating christmas.

The Old Sailor,

Sweet times are here, Holidaytime as a Diabetic

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 09:39:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

As we all know the hard times are coming if you’re loving the sweet life. The candy that we got for Saint Martin (Same kind of thing as Halloween.) and now Sinterklaas is in the country and he is bringing sweets and chocolate. Next things in line are Christmas and New Year. Huge eating, drinking and social snacking events. I can only call it hell on earth if you need to loose weight, count calories and eat a lot of low carbs, veggies and fibres.

For diabetics, the holiday season is filled with temptations. Candy is everywhere. Your well-meaning co-workers bring in plates of cookies, chocolates and other thickmaking happy food made of sugar that taunt you from the break room. You've got invitations to partys where it seems like the foods were chosen by people that either try to test your will or hope that you will have regrets.

But before you decide to give everyone a piece of coal or a chunk of carrot and hibernate through the holidays, you should know that being diabetic doesn't mean you have to give up your favorite seasonal foods. But of course you can do something different with your old habits by simply changing some ingredients.

What About Other Holiday Food?

Holiday Appetizers:

· Substitute low-fat or fat-free versions of mayonnaise, yogurt and sour cream to make dips.

· Serve plenty of raw vegetables to accompany your dips.

· Make for example a fresh salsa and serve with home-baked tortilla chips.

· Use fat-free cream cheese and lean cuts of turkey or ham in pinwheels and roll-ups.

· In soups, use fat-free and low sodium broths as your base. Use pureed root vegetables or beans to thicken them instead of cream.

Holiday Dinner:

· Serve lean cuts of meat, such as pork or beef tenderloin. If a ham is your centerpiece, be sure to trim the fat. And if turkey is making a comeback at your table, remove the skin and choose white meat over dark if you can.

· Provide plenty of vegetables. Steam, braise or roast them. Glaze with a very small amount of butter if you like, or use broth and herbs for flavor instead. If you are serving mashed potatoes, substitute reduced-fat or fat-free sour cream or half and half for the full-fat versions.

Holiday Desserts:

· If you are serving a holiday pie, consider using phyllo dough as a base or topping. Phyllo dough is light and flaky, and virtually fat free. Enjoy fruit cobblers or crisps with less butter and use oats for added fiber. Top with fat-free whip or low fat frozen yogurt instead of ice cream or heavy cream.

· Use reduced-fat and fat-free cream cheeses for cheesecakes

· Serve poached or baked seasonal fruits such as apples or pears, again topping with low-fat or fat-free frozen yogurt or whip.

These are just a few ideas about how to reduce fat in your Christmas feast.

Joining in the Fun

Although sweets are often considered a diabetic's worst enemy, managing diabetes is more complicated than simply avoiding sugar. For instanace, other carbohydrates -- like a serving of mashed potatoes -- can cause a surge in blood sugar just like a candy bar. It's the total number of carbohydrates that counts and not the form you're eating them in. Fat, which abounds in holiday cooking, should also be kept to a minimum.

So what should you be eating during the holidays? "As at any time of the year, you should be eating a healthy, balanced diet low in saturated fat," And of course that you should be getting a good amount of fiber and complex carbohydrates. Easier said than done, I can imagine that it is hard to change your ways.

This can be pretty tricky during the holidays. But there is no need to eliminate foods, since a good meal plan balances different types of foods and outlaws none.

Planning Ahead

While the holidays are a time when you have less control over what food is put in front of you, you've still got control over what you actually choose to eat. Don't allow the usual high-fat and high-sugar holiday party fare to take you by surprise. If you're going to a party or a holiday meal, go prepared.

· Know your own limits. "Every diabetic is different," and that is the tricky part, "and you need to figure out the balance of different foods that will work for you." Although counting grams every day may be difficult, you should have a general sense of what combinations of carbohydrates, fats, and fiber will work.

· Try to anticipate the kind of food that you'll encounter at a party. For instance, if you know that your mom is making a favorite pie for dessert, plan your meals and medication during the day accordingly so that you can have a slice. You don't have to deny yourself if you think ahead.

· If you're really concerned that there won't be food at a party that you can eat, consider eating a snack beforehand.

· Another good alternative is to bring a dish with you that you know you can eat. Given that there are many diabetics in our society, there are a number of recipes and cookbooks for people with diabetes. In general, consider reducing sugar or using a sugar replacement in sweets and use pureed fruit as a substitute for fat in baked goods. Your host will surely appreciate the gesture, and you'll be able to relax knowing that you won't go hungry.

Sensible Enjoying the Holidays

Once you're at a holiday meal or party, overeating is pretty easy to do, especially since the rest of the guests are often overindulging. However, you are the one in charge and you shouldn't let yourself lose control.

Beware of what you can call "unconscious eating," the tendency we all have to absent-mindedly take a cookie or a piece of candy from a dish as we pass by. A little here and there can add up quickly. (in my case nearly 130 kilograms.

Say "no" to seconds, and pay attention to the details. "Remember, you can control how much gravy someone's putting on your plate, or whether you're getting turkey skin or not."

Avoid or limit alcohol. In addition to raising your blood sugar, yhe most difficult part for me, as alcohol can interact with diabetes medications.

Test yourself. "If ever there is a time to be religious about taking your blood sugars, it's during the holidays." Because you may be eating more and eating foods that you don't normally have, it's especially important to keep track of your levels.

For a lot of people during the holidays, lounging in front of a gameshow or a good movie on TV is about as close as they get to physical fitness. That's not good for anyone, and it's especially bad for diabetics. I suggest making exercise social during the holidays. "Grab your favorite familymember or a friend and go out for a walk," it is relaxing and "It's a great way to catch up." Or what about a game of bowling or games at home on the games machine that you might have.

Mistakes happen, and you may wind up eating in a way that you shouldn't. But don't let one instance of overeating cause you to give up and indulge in a lost weekend of excess. If you've fallen off the wagon, you've just got to pick yourself up quickly and get back to your plan.

Sticking to the Plan

Staying in control may be difficult and exhausting during the holidays, especially when no one else is. Holidays are trying times for many, and the extra hassle of having to always be so careful about what you eat may get you down, or make you feel cut off from others. However, using some of the tips above will help you enjoy the holidays along with everyone else.

In addition, it's worth remembering that the consequences of going off your meal plan are often not only long-term, but immediate. "When diabetics are off their program, whether their blood sugar is up or down, they know it. They feel sick."

So even though planning ahead may sometimes be a chore, having a healthy holiday is the best way to assure a festive one.

I hope this might be some good ideas for the days to come.

The Old Sailor,

On the way of finding peace within

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 23:27:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

This week I went to a fysiotherapist that is booking good results with learning fibromyalgia patients a different way of live and an other way of breathing. The so called breathing from within. I have trouble to believe in these kind of health guru’s but this time this rather normal looking therapist got my attention and told me a few things that could be right. As I am believer of practising breathing techniques from the Chi that I learned during my army days. (nearly 100 years ago, when ships were still made of wood.) These are still basic needs for a guy like me that starts every morning with pain but does not want to complain. Time to find peace within yourself.

Every person has a fibromyalgia thermometer

Knowing how to find peace in your life doesn’t need to be difficult, in fact if we can simply align ourselves with the present moment and enjoy what we do, then peace is sure to follow. This sounds easier than it is. The reality is that our minds have a way of always desiring new things and always getting lost in negative thinking patterns whether they be of the past or future. There is also the nature of desiring fulfilment in some future moment, external achievement or outcome. By desiring to achieve something externally we create and inner imbalance. Instead wouldn’t it be better to focus our energy on attaining inner peace and happiness which is what creates a blissful life? This is not to say that we should give up on our dreams, but instead to create balance within, so we can truly realise our dreams. If we can shake off those negative thinking patterns and align our energy with what we truly want in life, then soon enough our dreams will become reality.

In order to create balance in this area of your life, you have to use the energy of your thoughts to harmonize with what you desire. Your mental energy attracts what you think about. Thoughts that pay homage to frustration will attract frustration. When you say or think anything resembling There’s nothing I can do; my life has spun out of control, and I’m trapped, that’s what you’ll attract—that is, resistance to your highest desires! Every thought of frustration is like purchasing a ticket for more frustration. Every thought that agrees that you’re stuck is asking the Universe to send you even more of that glue to keep you stuck. This video shows to me even if you are poor you can do something positive for others. Playing for Change does explain that we can also bring peace through music and enrich our live in a different way.

The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing that you and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between what you dream your life is meant to be, and the daily habits that drain life from that dream. You can create a new alignment with your mental energy and instruct the Universe to send opportunities to correct this imbalance. When you do so, you discover that while the world of reality has its limits, the world of your imagination is without boundaries. Out of this boundless imagination comes the seedling of a reality that’s been crying out to be restored to a balanced environment.

Restoring The Balance - The objective of this principle is to create a balance between dreams and habits. The least complicated way to begin is to recognize the signs of habitual ways of being, and then learn to shift your thinking to being in balance with your dreams. So what are your dreams? What is it that lives within you that’s never gone away? What inner night-light continues to glow, even if it’s only a glimmer, in your thoughts and dreams? Whatever it is, however absurd it may seem to others, if you want to restore the balance between your dreams and your habits, you need to make a shift in the energy that you’re contributing to your dreams. If you’re out of balance, it’s primarily because you’ve energetically allowed your habits to define your life. Those habits, and the consequences thereof, are the result of the energy you’ve given them.” -Excerpt from Being In Balance by Dr Wayne Dyer

And that is exactly what is wrong in my case. So it is time to turn the world upside down and inside out. There are only a few that can do all this on their own. Time to turn this energy switch and run on a smoother pattern.

To truly understand how to find peace in your life, you need to experience the beauty of stepping our of your negative habits or thinking patterns and enjoy the potential and bliss of the present moment. A great way to experience this is through meditation, yoga or practicing a new way of breathing and being completely present for a moment or two each day.

The Old Sailor,

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:40:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Again a 44 year old guy that I knew died al of a sudden for no known reason. How bitter can life be in these moments you wonder if it is all worth it.
This is a tremendous load to carry for the ones that stay behind and have to go on with their lives. It is time to start living my dear friends and make something good out of it.

Sometimes you think: Does my life seem more difficult than it needs to be? It sucks when life is hard. It is so depressing and tiring.
You feel completely stuck and it is extremely difficult to figure out why.

You want to move on to better things, but somehow you keep bumping up against an invisible obstacle that holds you right where you are.
It can be frustrating and downright maddening.

Reasons why Your life Is hard

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you that you have to carry it.”

I understand just how upsetting it can be when you feel life is being hard on you.
That’s why I want to help you figure out what’s going on.

However, I need to tell you that it is going to take a little patience and open-mindedness on your part to solve this mystery.

You might read some things below that you don’t like at first.
In fact, if you start reading something that really bothers you, that’s probably what you need to hear the most.

Here are three reasons that your life may seem hard:

1. Arrogance

No one likes to be told they are arrogant. So, right from the start, I’m testing your willingness to really take an honest look at yourself and your attitudes.

Are you being stubborn? Sometimes we simply persist on a particular path when life is telling us to go another way.

Trying to swim against the current is difficult and it will make your life rocky. You may be too stubborn to admit a) you’ve been wrong, b) you need to change and c) this is the source of your trouble. This is arrogance, plain and simple.

I see this a lot around health issues. You may have a bad habit that is playing havoc with your health, but you don’t want to give it up. This makes your life hard, but you arrogantly persist. Eventually, this will get the better of you. One way or the other, if you ignore the warnings, you will pay and pay and pay. Often difficulties are simply life’s way of telling you that you need to change. Your life would be so much easier and enjoyable if you’d just listen to what it is trying to tell you. Humble yourself and listen. Then be willing to make some adjustments. You’ll be happy you did.

2. Inexperience

Life can sometimes seem much harder than it has to be simply due to inexperience.
You may be facing things you haven’t had to deal with before and that you lack preparation to handle.

This can certainly make life seem laborious and painful. When you lack experience with a particular matter, you also lack the skill, judgment and understanding that make things a whole lot easier to handle. This is no fault of yours, but the quicker you realize and admit that your inexperience is an issue, the faster you can fix it.

If you think your difficulties are due to inexperience, then there are a few ways that you can overcome this and make things easier on yourself.

Here are some ways I’ve dealt with difficulties due to inexperience in my own life:
Find a very targeted action plan to guide you – A prewritten plan from someone that’s successfully navigated the waters you’re in right now can be invaluable.

Find an experienced mentor for advice – A good mentor will have the experience you lack and be able to guide you through the trouble you are facing.

Find a book that will teach you what you need to know – There seems to be a book on practically every subject imaginable. Find one for your specific needs and educate yourself.

Just because you lack experience doesn’t mean that you have to wallow in it. Take the bull by the horns and get some help to ease the trouble you are facing. Things will smooth out once you do.

3. Pure Circumstances

I’ve lived long enough to know that occasionally, you just hit a rough patch in life that is purely circumstantial.

In other words, it is out of your control. You didn’t do anything to deserve what you are getting. God isn’t mad at you. You aren’t being punished.
You are just going through a tough time and sometimes when it rains, it pours. It is Murphy’s Law, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”

I’ve certainly had a few of these periods in my own life. They are tough, but you can live through it.

When circumstances aren’t going your way, you just have to do your best and keep yourself from slipping off the edge.

Remember the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” Unfortunately, these spells can last awhile sometimes.

You just have to control what you can and deal with the rest.
I wished there was some better advice I had to offer, but once in awhile life gives you an endurance test. Your job is to weather the storm even if it is long and difficult.
The one encouraging thing I can tell you is that it will eventually end.

The sun will rise again. Trust me, better days are ahead for you if you just keep plugging along doing the best you can.

What Is Making Your Life Hard?

Okay, so did any of this help? Have you decided what is making your life hard?

Is it arrogance, inexperience or just plain old circumstances?

Figuring this out is the crucial first step toward making things better. Usually, just thinking about it in these ways helps. You are going to get through this and when you do, the happiness you experience will be that much sweeter.

Tell me about your difficulties in the comments section, I might have an answer or maybe not.
Often, writing out your troubles will help you organize your thoughts about them.
Plus, you might help someone else along the way.

The Old Sailor,

Did I fail in this life?

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:53:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

This week I have been transfered again to my old station and had to pick up on my knowledge again. In a way I feel happy on the other hand reality is that they could not find anyone else. I have at this moment the feeling that the things that happened in my life so far have only brought me more and more worries about the future. How do you know if your life is a failure or a success? Many queries are bubbling up in my brain, it is busy in there it’s like a real autmn storm in my little grey area.

Or, maybe instead, how do you know if your life is a success?

What are the criteria? Who gets to decide? Is your life a failure if you are send to prison? If your kids go to prison? Are you a failure if you don’t do what you want to do for a living? If you don’t do what are you supposed to do for a career? Or if you made once a mistake do you get the blame forever? Unless you are being protected by people on higher positions you might have a chance to make some mistakes.

When is it too late to fix it?

Considering that a life includes many stages and levels, maybe the answer is always subject to qualifications and/or temporary current circumstances. Maybe a person can always make amends and change. Or, maybe it is part of the human condition that we are always just a few degrees away from either success or failure…and the decisions we are always making are constantly swinging the pendulum back and forth.

The person that goes to prison can reform. The person responsible for a drunk driving accident can make amends. The person commiting adultery can quit. The person engaging in destructive behaviour towards other people can stop. It is a kind of nature that we are like wolves, if there is no strong pack leader the other ones might tear you apart.

Or, maybe they cannot?

Maybe the criteria are locked and fixed. Maybe the hands of fate don’t allow for a second and third chance. Maybe our flaws are too many to overcome. Maybe even those with apparent success are hiding significant faults.

Is it only at death that we are judged as good or bad, success or failure?

Decisions made years ago, and early in life, have a bearing on incidents that happen later in life. No one is ever truly able to escape their past. Decisions made at one point with the confidence of correctness can later be determined as incorrect. Time marches on. Nothing is ever over. Does this knowledge force us into a state of intellectual paralysis?

Does enlightenment occur from the knowledge of this pendulum of good versus evil and success versus failure? Maybe those that are aware of the precarious balance are thus successful as a result, while those who are oblivious are failing…will fail…can’t stop from failing.

You need to set some goals in this life. Altruism, kindness, generosity…those are universally recognizable and realistic goals. Those are goals that benefit both the individual and society as a whole. Pursuit and realization of those goals should probably allow a person to be considered as successful.

Failing to follow those guiding principles…well, failure is as failure does.

So, are we feeling sorry for those that don’t get it? Can we help those that choose to make mistakes? Can we look the other way while they fail? And, are we then also failures as long as there are those without the knowledge of this path to enlightenment…those who fail to see it…those who fail to do what is right…those who just fail? It’s a philosophical thing that keeps my mind running.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

My thoughts might sound kind of negative somekind of dark and people may call me a doomthinker. I really wander how can I change things into better prospectives? I feel that I have failed on many things in my life. It has been a long time ago that i felt successful.

On the other hand i did do in a way quite well. But who am I kidding actually as the last few years everything went downwards. When I had to stop sailing my income fell with more than 40% in a year, I got a body to live in that only works on half power and is painful every day. Yes I became trapped in my future plans and there is no light that guides me to the end of the tunnel. Now I am renting myself out to get my hours filled as the holiday season is coming. For crying out loud no one cares about you or your feelings.

“It is no use lying to one’s self.”

I have trouble to stay positive in this jungle of emotions. Must I just stay positive when everything in life turns you down? I live in a house that is hardly sellable, a job with an uncertain future, I drive an old car which I cannot replace due to less and less work. My family suffers from it as well and everyone has it’s own needs. Are we slowly going our own way and what happened to the unity?

Honesty and the right action determines success…regardless of the endeavour…anything and everything short of that is failure.

The Old Sailor,

winter is on the way

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:33:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

This morning it was five o’clock to get up and get to work. As soon as I had my breakfast and rubbed the sleep out of my face, I open the curtains to few the world who looks brutal and dark at this time of day. When I walk to the car I feel the cold air tipping on my nose. It is a big difference to last week as temperatures have dropped to 6 degrees Celcius.

It’s getting cold. The nights are starting to draw in while the mornings seem to take forever to stir. I’m beginning to slow down, to curl up in bed for ‘just 10 more minutes’ in the mornings, to seek out sleep earlier in the evenings. I’m walking slowly, as my body is getting stiffer more painful again but surely this will be my first winter in a better shape than the last couple of years.

I’ve never found winter an easy season. Everything seems stark, minimal and asleep. My hands and feet wish to retreat into my body as they become freezing cold and numb. The layers I have to wear drive me nuts because I’m too hot inside and yet freezing outside. I feel constricted by all the clothes needed to keep me warm and I long for the days when I can slip on a pair of flip-flops, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt .

A week ago people hopped on the bus wearing t-shirts, summer dresses and shorts. Today I saw the first ones wearing gloves, hats, caps and scarfs. The air is cold and chilly and slowly night is turning into day. The hard blue sky is bautiful and explains the bittter cold breeze that hangs around. You can imagine that they were quite happy that I had turned on the heater in the bus. It is strange that in such a short period the leaves have turned colours and cold weather took position, weather men predict a cold and snowy winter. And that will spice up the job again as delays give trouble and I think that it is really funny.

For me, winter is all about slowing down, about stripping bare, going back to basics. It’s about inventing new ways of living a full life that focuses the majority of the time on indoor pursuits. It’s about connecting with friends and family, sharing the warmth of the holidays together. It’s about generosity with your neighbors, wishing each other well in this darker season. It’s about ruminating on the fact of life that everything one day will die.

We are still a good couple of months away from ice, winter woolies and the festive season, but already I’m preparing myself for the shifts my body and mind will need to take in the coming months. I want to take the next few months as an opportunity to reflect on my life thus far, to question ‘who I am’ right now and who I will be when this body also sheds its last leaf.

I want to take more time to sit, to question, to think about the circle of life, the parts of me that are dying in order for me to be reborn again next spring and who that makes ‘me’ when the old is perpetually falling away to make room for the new. It makes me sad as i realize how many people that have left us in the last couple of years. On the other hand I see my eldest daughter turning into a woman. Someday there will be the first love and a new circle begins.

I hope that the winter will not be to harsh and not to many snowdays as they only cost money. I start the car and drive into the darkness of the early morning with the radio playing softly and the heating is on full power. So, when I’m up in the dead black of the early morning and nothing is stirring, what will my first thoughts and actions be in that moment? Who will I choose to be when the world appears to be so still as if it’s not yet breathing? How will I make those moments count at a time when it’s much easier just to indulge in the warmth of my bed and my dreams?

The Old Sailor,

On the bike with no wheels

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 21:38:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

This week I started with getting in shape again, as I am not the richest guy I looked for some good bargains on the internet to buy a exercise bike. The cheapest that I found would cost me € 30.00 when I called the advertiser he said that he was sorry and that he brought the stuff to the local thrift store. I bought the thing for €7.50 but it needed some work to get it all running. So I spent the whole morning in the garage as I had my day off. Ok it is not new but it runs perfectly and I don’t have to be scared of not making it home, as my body might fully block. Also the dark season is coming with the heavy rainshowers and stormy weather. So there will be no excuse. Only question I asked myself was when I would bike? I need a manageable schedule.

For those who bought a new piece of exercise equipment for the family, be aware that all your good intentions will only work when there is a solid commitment and a manageable schedule the home trainer that you bought for an at home exercise program as you don’t feel like going to the gym. It should be a purchase that you do not regret. The phrase manageable or reachable goals is part of the buzz these days. That is what you are doing when setting up an exercise program for your household, creating reachable, success driven goals, and then making it work!

Here are some simple ideas to consider for making a manageable, success driven home exercise schedule:

Early Rising: Exercise before showering and getting evereyone else up. It will mean getting up about forty five minutes before the rest of the family. It could be peaceful, and you can watch the early morning local news and mentally prepare for the day.

Preschool Hours: This is a built in time each week time when your children are busy and is plenty of time for mothers or fathers time to work in an exercise session in between child free grocery shopping.

Working Families: Parents can coordinate and use the home exercise equipment while children are doing their homework, and children can use it while dinner is being prepared and it is not their turn to load the dishwasher.

Flip Flop Parents: One parent could be getting dinner ready, while the other is using the “bike” and watching the early local news or a popular talk show. After dinner flip flop, and the cook exercises while watching the evening newscast and the other parent cleans up after dinner.

Family Room: Most home exercise machines these days are pretty quiet, so working out during prime time television shows could be a great scheduling moment. Other people can be in the room, just like normal. Take turns using the bike or treadmill and the timing is based on the prime time schedule. Evening game shows and the half hour comedies are perfect to use as scheduling guides.

Your goal is to get everyone using the machine three times a week for at least half and hour, so schedules can be on alternate days and adjusted to other outside activities. It goes without saying that it will be wise to make good use of the weekends when everyone generally has a bit more time.

If you use these ideas as a guide, and make it your own you can see that the decision to buy something like a exercise bike or another piece of equipment to use at home can actually work and will not be a waste of money. Making the commitment and sticking to it in the first month will also help develop a routine, that once set is easy to keep going. At least that is what I think.

Let us see what the future brings?

The Old Sailor,

How crazy can I be?

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 19:28:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Last Friday I had a gentleman on the bus who had a difficulty with his speech, no problem in this case as I had a waiting time of more than twenty minutes. We talked about what had happened to him and how difficult this was feeling. He suffered from a brain trauma and lost a lot of his normal abilities and some people called him a nut as he rides on a special bike. He could not recall to his life that he had lived before and his memory gives only some flashbacks that he could put into place, he carries a picturebook with him to recognize his own kids and wife. And that must be terrible (unless you’re having a horrible wife and kids) After his story I drove back home and tears were running down my cheeks overthinking his emotional plea.

Once again I realized how lucky I have been when I tumbled down the stairs a few years ago and got my brain got fully shattered. We just bought this house and we had just moved in. That evening we just brought our daughter to bed and my wife was just pregnant from the second one. When I was on my way down I slipped on the top of the staircase. When I was picked up again by the ambulance personel and rushed of to the hospital I slowly came around again.I felt a sharp pain in my head. Before I knew what was happening I heard a loud high tone in my head and I had trouble with my balance and my hearing. I remember the moment that I was falling, but don’t recall hitting the ground or the wall whatever came first.

I lay unconscious on the floor until my wife called me. I woke to find people hovering around me, pinching me to get any reaction. They were asking me questions, and although I could hear them I was unable to respond normally. As talked with a double tongue. I was told that an ambulance was on the way, but I thought it was completely unnecessary and that I would be fine in a few minutes.The ambulance arrived and took me to hospital and all the initial tests were clear. My partner arrived and I said to her that I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Luckily a doctor ordered a brain scan, which is normal when they found trouble in my brain. The neck collar was bathering me the most as the expected that I had broken my neck.

From that moment on I felt like I was floating near the ceiling, looking down at myself, watching everyone rush around me. I was taken to another part of the hospital, where I had a neurologist waiting for me. Everything changed then and there.

My doctor informed my family that I had suffered from a cerebral contusion. Two days later I went downhill quickly. A neurologist advised my family and partner that the brain had been shattered that much and that my character might have changed and that I could be angry and frustrated. As I might suffer having trouble with finding words, mixed up thoughts and not being able expressing myself, memory loss could also give extra frustration.

I underwent multiple tests to monitor my progress, and I lived with a tremendous amount of pain. I pleaded with my partner to take the pain away, and told her that I would have rather died. She just kept telling me that each day would get better, and that I just had to keep fighting.

After the worst was over, my slow recovery began. I was in care for three days, and as my rehabilitation seemed to go well, I was send home to recover slowly to the normal me again as it was not that bad as they thought. But I did not feel at home at all as there was a strange driver at the wheel, so to say the captain of this ship went overboard and missing. I cried almost every day; the feeling of helplessness was awful. For the first three weeks I couldn’t stand for a long time and when I walked I was out of balance and I fell over my right side for a few times I lost some of my muscle definition. For the first few weeks after that it felt like my body had forgotten how to walk and I was dizzy all the time and very heavy headed.

But as the weeks passed, I realised I could only keep getting better. I still have down days, I still cry over nothing and I’ll forever be asking “Why?”, but then I remember that eight years ago I was almost dead, and today I’m almost back to normal. I still get tired easily and don’t sleep well, which are common symptoms of a brain trauma injury. I also get headaches every now and then. Unfortunately the brain injury has left me permanently missing parts of my character and calculating skills and my walking and balance still deteriorates when I get very tired.

I am one of the lucky ones. I survived. Three months later I was driving again. My brain is still recovering; I’ve been advised it could take many years to completely recover. But now I’ve quit smoking and I stress less. Life is too short and unpredictable.

I still find it strange that I am not suffering from more problems as the man that I talked to never got back to a normal speech again and he has to ride a tricycle as his balance is fully disrupted. I wish I could see inside his real thoughts if he felt lucky or would he have been rather dead? This question is until today still humming in my head :”Why me and for what purpose?”

The other day I saw a bumper sticker that said
“After head injury, life may never be the same.”
How can nine words have so much impact on one’s life. I find it
painful to look back at when life was “normal”. I feel scared when I imagine the future. So, I live one day at a time and sometimes even a minute at a time.

It started in April of 2003 when I had this cerebral contusion. The doctor said the recovery went well. What the doctor didn’t tell me was that I would probably end up with impaired judgment, emotional problems, and would not be the same person that I was before the crash.

The whole family rallied for my recovery. After months of physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and eventually work adjustment training, problems were still so intense it was overwhelming. I was improving physically, but my emotions were gone, my love for the two of us was gone and I did not understand what was happening.

I first of all retired on disability and our income dropped € 30.000,- per year and we got more and more trouble to pay the bills. I had to find a better way of making a living again. So I ended up going to work full-time on a ship again.

Besides the tremendous burden of dealing with a person that felt himself a husband and father before. But now I was physically and emotionally impaired, the family did not have enough income to live on. So, I ended up getting more and more physical problems at night.

I left the old me behind and tied to get in line with this new me. And it is tough to deal with a father and husband who is full of anger, has emotional outbursts, did not care about what ever happened to him. Thinking back, I know I did not do the right thing, and I worry about the impact that this had on my oldest child.
But at the time, I was just trying to survive – buy food and make the house payment.
Life suddenly became an endless struggle. There was not time to relax, just visit a friend or to enjoy life with the children. Our family life had turned into “daily survival.”
I have been told we are lucky – that I am better than some.
What lies ahead, I don’t know. But please I am not asking you to feel sorry for me.

I live at home but there is not much of love around. She doesn’t put her arms around me any more, I don’t ask her how she is feeling. I get scared thinking of my marriage as it has lost it’s bloom next thing that might happen might be being alone. The world considers me married – but am I? I don’t fit with the single men; I don’t fit with the divorced men. But no one seems to take care of me. Most of the time I am able to deal with this – but sometimes I feel lonely and scared.

The marriage as I had known it, ceased to exist. I had lost not only my best girlfriend and companion, but the best years of my life had been erased.

The Old Sailor,

I don't want to be a weatherman

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 06:41:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

When I got up today I turned on the radio and during my breakfast I listened to the weatherforecast. It must be a depressive job, I think only predicting rain and here and there a little bit of sunny spells. The rain is really pooring down and my garden turned into a swamp.

I give myself plenty of extra time heading out this morning. Numerous Flash Flood Warnings are in effect and rainfall rates of 3-5 centimeters per hour are occurring over our region.The ground is saturated and streams, creeks and rivers are spilling over their banks. Street flooding and road closures are numerous and mass transit has cancellations or delays because of the flooding.

Mud and flood waters closed parts of some villages as the roads are flooding eventhough the higways and roads have not the biggest problems but several roadworks are giving some detours. Driving through flood waters is not very smart as you don’t know what lies underneath; this is a very dangerous situation!

Since Monday, over 30 centimeters of rain have fallen in parts of the Dutch Delta. All of this rain is a combination of remains of Tropical Storm Irene combined with a slow moving cold front. The large and persistent storm system will continue to spin over our region today and the Flood Watch has been extended through this morning. The Delta works are being watche closely to make sure live behind the dikes is save.

As of 6 a.m.this morning, heavy rain and thunderstorms continue to come over our region again. Raining is the biggest concern at the moment and I must admit it is pretty boring to see nothing else then rain. Many parts of the Netherlands have areas of heavy rain moving over the same region in a relatively short period of time, producing excessive rainfall amounts which often lead to flash flooding. Some had nothing else but rain all summer long.

Rain chances will stay with us through the weekend, but there will be dry weather and sunshine as we head into early next week. Let us hope that the weathermen are right this time as this part of the world needs to dry up a little bit.

The Old Sailor,

End of the summer holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 08:01:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

As it is the last weekend before the summer holidays are ending and the kids are getting ready for going to school again. We did all the lousy work as placing covers around the school books and buying stuff that you would need this coming semester. It has been a long summer this year as in 90% of the days rain was pooring down in large amounts that even streets flooded.

Show me any parent of young children and I’ll show you a person breathing a massive sigh of relief today that the six-week break is finally over. Some may even crack open the bubbly tonight to celebrate surviving what has become an almost impossible mix of childcare juggling, stretching the household budget to the breaking point, to simply tuning out to the constant moans of “I’m bored”.

Add into the mix more than one child and a parent will need to have developed the skills of an UN negotiator as the fight for boundries and territory for brothers and sisters, they intensify dramatically when school’s out for the summer.

Yes, six weeks can be a very long time when there’s youngsters to entertain. I am one of those parents that is constantly in the midlle of this unfair war called summer holiday. Running around through the trenches of battling kids that are trying to fill their days with silly things.

For working parents the need to find temporary childcare during working hours is not just expensive but far from easy to organise as grandpa and grandma are fun for a few days but after that they are also boring. If you are so lucky that your childcare is well organised the kids will find other ways to get your attention by nagging that we are never doing anything fun. And for those that are in the luxury position that they can be at home there is the constant demand for something to do. And that is not easy to think up things that are not that expensive or even free as most budgets are limited

Now I am a firm believer in the great outdoors and the limitless amusement to be had from letting your imagination run wild. But with the best will in the world today’s youngsters are not the greatest at making the most of these open and, more importantly, free commodities. And to be fair parents, in a world which appears to have more potential for harm, are not that great at letting them.

Most families will also want to share at least one special treat over the summer, if not one a week, and that is far from cheap. For example take the cinema. After Christmas the summer is the key time when most family blockbusters are released but with new 3D technology, taking a family of four can cost almost €60. That’s a fair old dent in the household budget and one which few can afford.

In fact there are not many family friendly attractions – A bit of a funpark charges you approx. €25 per person and than you need something to eat and to drink during the day. although bravo to the smaller funparks as they have normal entrance fares like €7,50 per adult and half price for kids up to the age of 15. Also Qbuzz public transport service in my part of the country adults pay the full price of €6 and take two kids for free up to the age of 11 a great ride for a bit of promotion. At least some kind of helping hand is needed for those who will have been tearing their hair out two days after the summer term ended. And that’s no exaggeration.

Attending a summer fair on the weekend after the schools broke up I was chatting to two mums who were watching their collective brood, five between them, run among the stalls like wild animals before they are taking over the bouncy castle in what can only be described as a frenzied attack. The best example of those battlegrounds that I desribed earlier in this blog.

One looked to the other with that what I thought was an “ahh factor” face only for it to dissolve into clenched fear while she joked in an almost whisper: “Good job I have a stocked up on wine because something tells me I am going to need it over the next few weeks.” Hmmm....living the great outdoors live and being half pissed all the time.

I really doubt she was alone in having that thought at the beginning of the summer.

The new term – it’s definitely good news for some.

The Old Sailor,

The women of my past.

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 23:55:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Today my mind just dozed off to the past times again and I was trying to memorize the girls that were in my life and made my heart bounce got butterflies in my stomach and eventually most of them broke it. It became a heart with many cracks and my road of love was quite bumpy. Strange enough I never found the answer why they actually left me. I did not have a lot of steady relationships, funny enough I do not have any pictures of the girls that I was with for a longer time. But I still remember the days that my heart broke and my ego got a dent. Until now I am still married to the same women that I call my wife......but is she still interrested in me. You see that I am still in doubt.

Are you still getting strange vibes from the girl that you are with? Or do you feel that she just doesn't seem to care anymore although she does not say it to you? Well there are certain things men do which make women lose interest in them with time. You see but the worst part about this whole deal is that you are getting dumped. Some women would just dump you when they start losing interest in you therefore it is very important to figure out when she's losing interest so that you can work on it and save yourself from getting dumped. Read on to discover these little known ways...

She doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore- Have you had this feeling that no matter how hard you try your jokes are simply not funny to her anymore even when they are funny to other girls? Well if this is the case than she is losing interest in you.

She says she'll call you but never calls- This is another way which proves that she is losing interest in you. You see she would intentionally or unintentionally not call you even when she said she would.

She is always busy all of a sudden- When she starts to lose interest in you she would start finding other things which do interest her. Under this situation she would cut back on the time you spend with her and would always appear busy.

She starts talking about other guys around you- Now this is the worst possible situation you can ever be in as she is not only losing interest in you she is looking for other interesting males and get rid of you.

I all based these on my own experiences. What you don't know yet. Have you as a male ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women?

Take up this challenge men. You conform to a woman that you are really engrossed in. You have an awesome conversation with her, and she even assents to go out on a date with you. Lastly, it seems that your luck is changing in relation to your romantic life! So you're all pumped up about being with her, and you really want to ensure that you make a good notion. You do everything that you hear women saying that they want a guy to do for them.

You take her out to fantastic restaurants, you buy her things, you shower her with compliments and you practice impeccable manners such as: opening the door for her, being a good listener, returning calls, and even calling her every day to convey to her how much you enjoy having her in your life...In the beginning it might be right but do not forget to show your real self.

Why do Women Lose Interest?

Nice is Not Attractive

Woman's natural fascination instinct and how it is what unconsciously determines who she considers to be datable or just companions.

Remember that a woman's attraction instinct is genetically developed to cause her to gravitate towards a man who will meet up with her basic need for safety and security.

So why is she with him?

Given that he makes her feel safe, and that makes him attractive. This does not mean that women are drawn to men who are disrespectful and who mistreat them. But if it's between a nice, soft and sensitive guy and a rough, slightly bad boy... who do you think is going to make her feel safer? Who would you rather carry into battle with you? As counter intuitive as this might sound, it's significant to remember that a person's raw subconscious desires are often unthoughtful and many times completely contradictory to their conscious reasoning.

Just think about all the people who you know that wish to find a better job, lose weight, save money, flirt with women or go after some other goal but they just can't bring themselves to get started.This breakdown to take action is influenced by some kind of a subconscious passion for comfort or safety. After all, most people, both men and women alike, even choose comfort and safety over their own bliss.

This is a clear case of how a person's subconscious hopes drive their actions, while their "beliefs" and their utterances seem to be telling a thoroughly different story. Is it outset to become clear to you why women aren't enticed to "nice" guys, in spite of what they might be telling you?

I still find it hard to understand women. And I still struggle with the question: “why I got dumped” by these women I loved with all my heart. It also has my damaged my confidence quite a bit. And I had almost given up hope to ever start a relationship again, when I met my wife I was nearly five years single as I had totally given up on women.

A broken heart is one of the greatest cruelties that excists.

The Old Sailor,

A day on the lake

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 11:36:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Last friday I had a day off and the neighbors of my inlaws asked if we would join them on a boat trip on the Frisian lakes and watch the final of Skûtsjesilen on the lake (Sneekermeer). Of course as an old sailor I said yes that would be great eventhough the weather forecast predicted rainshowers, my wife was panicking a bit as our youngest daughter should wear a lifejacket. I did not see any problem there as she has her swimming diploma A and the waters are quite shallow in this area.

A skûtsje (pronounced 'skootshuh') is a Frisian sailing boat of the tjalk type, originally an ordinary cargo boat, but today a prized ship and one of the icons of Frisia (Friesland, or Fryslân in Frisian). Skûtsjes were built from the 18th century until about 1930, 12 to 20 m long and on average 3.5 m wide, with a maximum of 4 m (based on the standard dimensions of Frisian bridges and locks).

Skûtsjesilen
Originally an old tradition between cargo skippers, skûtsjesilen has now become a sport. Every Summer the skûtsjes meet to race each other, and much store is set by winning, as the victor will be famous all over Fryslân. Many skûtsjes are supported by villages or municipalities (financially as well, for this is not a cheap hobby!) and sail for the honour of their home town.

The regatta season was opened this year, on one of the smaller Frisian lakes. More to find in Dutch on http://www.skutsjesilen.nl/ Eventhough it was not that gorgeous weather loads of rain and pretty strong wind gusts – during the contest some of the days had to be cancelled. Some were to windy others whitout any wind at all. The race on the Sneekermeer promised a good game as the winds were shifting all the time and a windforce 3 to 5 was there. Although some wished for stronger winds - a splendid time was what we had by all. Neighbor Klaas explained a lot about wind and how you should sail in thes circumstances to my oldest daughter. (she really learned a lot and found the game even more interesting than before.) His wife Jeltje served coffee, soup and breadrolls, we had a very relaxed day.

The Eurokotter 9.50 picture used from http://www.vofhelfferich.nl/

When we got on board, I felt as if I’m the only one chartering an unknown destination. (Yeah, right.) With the cool breeze enveloping me, I close my eyes, grip the sides of the boat and wish that the destination is worth all the troubles that I have at the moment anyway. It is hard for me to except that I am from now on a diabetic and that I should lead a regular life. It is hard to change your life without any stress as everything in your life is turned upside down. I try to enjoy the boat trip as much as I can and after half an hour I start to relax and enjoy the unpredicted beauty of todays weather, nature is gorgeous anyway and the water is pretty calm.

By the time the boat reaches the calm portion of the lake, I thought a smooth ride would finally start. But then the engine starts to power up. The skipper hands the wheel to one of the people that never sailed before and teaches them how to manouvre on the lake between the other boats and what the rules are. Even my wife took the wheel on the return journey and sailed us back into calmer waters. Not all of them are skilled skippers. I felt pretty scared as we ran pretty close to the shore and I had no influence on the steering skills as i was not the skipper, but the reminder to relax gave me an assurance that the situation is under control.

After few adjustments of the skipper, it finally got better. My fear dissipated and I went back to closing my eyes and gripping the side of the boat. A few minutes later, I got a cup of coffee and a good conversation with the skippers wife, now I was sitting comfortably. My eyes were widely open and my hands were loosely positioned at the sides. I started to enjoy the ride. We talked about the boat as it is a lovely little ship with plenty of space. Klaas and his companion are building these ships themselves as it is his daytime job. To give an impression have a look on their website Eurokotter.nl If I had the money I absolutely would have bought one. Maybe in the near future when we have sold our house and I would have a more steady job I can do this. I totally fell in love with the steady sailing and the spacious envirnment of this ship.

I tried to do what the others do; I opened my eyes and loosen up a bit, but my mind is playing games with me. Relaxing is hard work at the moment. Then I saw the beautiful clear line that divides the muddy brown and dark bluish color. I started seeing other boats of different sizes manned by brave men or women. I saw on the shore a few fishing man who caught a big fish, the numerous fans that man the shores to watch the final day of the competition, all the other boats that are anchorred that we are passing by and the crashing of waves against the shoreside.

After an hour of rolling with the waves, we were finally closing in on the spot were we should anchor. The skipper gave me instruction to hold on as he will drop the anchor his wife mans the wheel and I have the lookout position for the other boats at our stern. The skipper has a lot of knowledge about the grounds underneath the ship when he drops the anchor it only takes a few minutes to put the boat in position. As we are only layin on one anchor point the boat drifts around on the wind. When our neighbors behind us run a few metres of extra anchor chain we have nothing that is in our way. After the Skutsjesilen is done we have another cup of coffee and get ready to go on our home journey, after an hour we arrive in the harbour and lay the boat in it’s dock. We say goodbye and thank them for the wonderful trip and drive home. I had a splendid day out and my kids enjoyed the sailing as well.

The Old Sailor,

For what?

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 12:16:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Today I will write about so called senseless violence, it is one of the items that kept my family busy after the horrible news from Norway on 22th of July. We wandered what happens to person that can get so violent without any regrets killing a large amount of people. The attacks on the Twin Towers in New York came out of nothing and without any pre warnings. Several years ago Meindert Tjoelker was kicked to death by a group of drunk guys only because he was telling them that heir behavior was inappropriate. There might be more cases but for me these are stuck in my memories as matters of senseless violence.

One of the problems with any reflection on absurd forms of violence in society is that these thoughts can never be, from a scientific point of view, truly interesting and technical. Before we know it, moral and political considerations and emotions sneak in and objective thought will be overruled by, for example, the indignation over the nature and amount of that violence. For if you start to think about violence, you will soon feel highly involved and at the same time completely powerless. Even if we should be inclined to choose violence in certain cases, when it comes from ourselves, when it is not the raw violence of nature and looks like reasonable action, it always turns out to be bigger and stronger in its consequences and its emotional implications than the one who unleashes violence or approves of it. Merely by thinking about it it is taken out of our own hands.

No matter what we think or how passionately we want to denounce violence as vulgar, immoral or inefficient, it will still occur time after time and we are never neutral bystanders, like when observing the behavior of chickens on a lawn or dogs in the street. Our words are filled with emotions and prejudices. Therefore, I want to restrict my reflection on to a couple of words, with which we appear to try and make sense of an occurrence on which we apparently, despite all of our pretenses, have as little influence as on the weather, but which fascinates us, either annoyingly or amusingly, in a much higher degree.

The quite recent combination of words “senseless violence” mostly seems to relate to something that we, if it did not sound as cynical, could call recreational violence, eventhough it happens in small groups that will kill an innocent guy by kicking him to death as he would try to stop them from demolishing a bicycle, or a large group called supporters which appears predominately around soccer-fields, in amusement halls with violent war games and in so-called action movies, hence on the fringes of social life. But how large, how infectious and how determining of our culture is the contribution of this type of violence as a spectacle in television shows and other forms of relaxation on which we spend a large part of our free time? (My wife is a big fan of these what I call “Murder and manslaughter tv series”.) Do I have an excorsist in the house?

The combination of words “senseless violence” seems to have been specifically invented to qualify this pointless violence as a derailment or at least a singular occurrence, in order to not too suddenly and quite radically, exclude the possibility of a human violence that might be called “sensible”. That not senseless, but efficiently and prudently used violence would be in our control from beginning to end, and a predictable and positive outcome could be expected: order, security, and peace.

Seen from this perspective, the expression “senseless violence” has to create a space for the belief that another, perhaps efficient, meaningful and permissible unleashing of violence might be possible. Taking the soccer game as an example again. There are complaints that some parents being so fanatic that they scare their own children as their fanatism will end up into an escalation of violence as an exercise in power by the lower less responsible persons and that can prevent that by slogans like “soccer is war” a spiral of spectacular, but meaningless recreational violence will start.

Along with more power, the means not only have to be greater in number, but also more effective, and they have to appear less like the force of an aimless explosion, the raw violence of a hurricane or the unrestrained behavior of a rowdy crowd. A government that does not have these available, is not superior and has no more say than any random club.

The result of violence is always characterized by a hail of unintended, incalculable and destructive side-effects sensible, unless of course we read the word “goal” as something military and war-like, “hit” as the destruction of this goal and “use” as the unleashing of every random force that we do not control. In this way, the guillotine could be regarded as an effective mean for relieving headaches, or pulling all teeth as an adequate means against biting nails. (there is a dark sense of humor needed here.)

Seeing a proof of superiority in this seems a bit shortsighted to me: it is rather a manifestation of impotence or inability to link adequate and carefully dosed means. At best we can say that in certain circumstances in a somewhat ritual way we have reserved the authority to exert this impotence or the threat thereof and necessitated ourselves to leave out the, in this context painful, qualification senseless. But the question is wether this is more than a mere verbal and ritual exercise that does not change a thing about the situation itself.

There seem to be at least two reasons why we speak in such hidden terms about all kinds of violence, including that of the government. One is that a start of violence or a display of superiority can cause a shock that may bring people to their senses. (Just think about what happened in Oslo and on Utoya or less recent the 9-11 attacks.)

If you, for example, want to quiet a boisterous crowd, you sometimes have to quickly produce a higher volume of sound than the bothersome murmur you intend to override. This will increase the total disorder, but still the expectation can be that silence will be its effect. There are reasons to believe in temporary violence and in the logic of something like a warning shot.

A second reason not to radically rule out every form of violence as a means has to lie in the fact that to this form of active performing there seems to be but one alternative, i.e. standing by powerlessly. But that alternative has to be rejected more forcefully according the measure in which the organization that would decline from performing it is ascribed greater power or authority.

And if you are supposed to have all capabilities, you will always be guilty when you stand by powerlessly. In an activist culture, one that for the greater part is a culture of violence disguised as sport, as expression, as display of power or as spectacle rather than a culture of peaceful technique and of adequate and subtle means, standing by powerlessly or even the acceptance of powerlessness is always regarded as reprehensible. In the phraseology of that culture it is always better to do something than to do nothing at all or, in military terms less familiar to me: it is better to miss or even obliterate the goal than not to shoot at all. This will inevitably lead to absurd situations.

Even if peace would be no more than the absence of war and violence (but how will we ever know?) and even if it has to be maintained by a power that keeps itself in the background, it would still be preferable as a form of civilization to the outbursts of barbaric violence which we have to witness, happening to our shame, time and time again and on all fronts.

I wish that there would be no more victims of senseless violence but this probably an impossible dream.

The Old Sailor,

My sweet life is ending

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:12:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Yesterday morning I had to consult my doctor due to some earlier done bloodtests as my hands have been painful all day long for the last three months. When I phoned two weeks ago for the results the doctor’s assistant advised me to make an appointment after his holidays as there were some matters to discuss about my bloodtest. Today was the day that I made the step into his office, the results kind of overwhelmed me as many wheels had to be set in motion from today on.

My new hobby as I cannot eat them anymore

I was diagnosed as a diabetic type 2 and my cholesterol levels were to high as well. Unfortunately I was not that surprised as diabetics are quite common in my family and I knew that my chances were reasonable to become a diabetic. Still when the doctor tells you this it is a bitter pill. I need to lose weight to get a better Hemoglobin a1c count as this was far too high. F*** my day was spoiled but on the other hand there was an explaination for a lot of funny symptoms that I developped the last few months. This is what he told me and actually warned me for.

Type 2 diabetes is a condition where blood sugar levels are too high because the insulin producing pancreas tires and insulin can no longer effectively store sugars in the body. Persistently elevated blood sugars can result in numerous complications such as blindness, kidney disease and nerve damage. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between type 2 diabetes and obesity (that explains a lot to his royal fatness). The cornerstone of diabetic management is through dietary changes, exercise and weight reduction.

A specialized nurse will make report of my body skills

Chances are that if you have been diagnosed with diabetes, my doctor recommended that I should change my diet, exercise more and lose weight. A way to find out how many calories I need to meet in my weight loss goals I need to visit a specialised nurse who wil explain me what to do diet wise exercise and how to change my lifestyle and how to use the calorie calculator!

It sounds easy when you put it like that, but the truth is that weight loss is not easy and your complete rythm of life will be turned around. The benefits of losing weight are numerous and for the diabetic patient it means better glucose control and fewer diabetic complications. The good news is that even a modest reduction in weight can have significant effects on your sugar readings. While most patients do not need to be convinced of all the benefits of maintaining a healthy weight, it is sometimes difficult to find motivation and stick with a plan.

My diabetes will be monitored for several months after that I have to do it myself.

Many people become overwhelmed and simply want the learn ways to lose weight fast.

Weighing in on Weight Loss Gimmicks
Every patient has different weight loss goals but while the number of pounds that need to be lost may vary, most people agree that they want to know how to lose weight and how to lose belly fat. (my biggest enemy lives on my belly) Unfortunately, there are many different weight loss gimmick plans out there that prey on that very mindset.

This might be the scenario if we do not change my lifestyle
Many of these weight loss methods are expensive and require that you eat purchased foods or drinks. Some of these plans have elaborate ways of keeping track of foods and restricting what you can eat. Other diets sell you special concoctions that promise to help you lose weight while you eat whatever you want. The bad news is that most of these diets are great ways of thinning your wallet and not much more than that.

When I asked him what is the fastest way to lose weight, he answerred my answer isn’t always popular. The bad news is that most of these fast diets and weight loss methods are unreliable and do not keep the weight off for the long term. It’s not difficult because the best weight loss methods involve simple math!

The Secret to Weight Loss is Simple Math!

Weight Loss: Calories In < Calories Out

No Change: Calories In = Calories Out

Weight Gain: Calories In > Calories Out

Pretty straightforward right? It should be no secret that if you eat more calories than you burn, you will gain weight. The same goes for losing weight. Burn more calories than you take in! This doesn’t mean that you have to exercise constantly to burn 2000 calories because your body requires energy just to function.

Check out an online calculator to find out how many calories you burn without exercise. This information will help you to determine the proper amount of calories that you need. If you pay attention to this information and monitor your caloric intake, you will find that watching calories is a powerful weight loss tool.

One of the quickest ways to lose weight and keep it off is to seriously commit to changing your way of thinking about food and exercise. We live in a society that thrives on excess. The food on our plates is no exception. If you think that what is served to you at most restaurants is a serving, you’re sadly mistaken.

Looking for the quickest way to lose weight may sound appealing but the reality is that many of the latest dieting fads will send you on a rollercoaster ride. Losing 1-2 pounds per week is considered safe weight loss. Set small goals with realistic timelines and celebrate these achievements. And my biggest horror is quiting smoking as that means normally gaining weight. My doc said that this is something that is bad for me but I should do that in a later stadium when all the other things are in place and I have suitable rythm again.

My favourite thing to do eventhough it is deadly

For people living with diabetes, reducing your weight and improving your learning more about diabetic diets that work will greatly improve your sugars and hemoglobin a1c blood test. You will also notice an improvement in your blood pressure (that was surprisingly good) and cholesterol. These simple changes can have lasting effects and prevent the progression of complications of diabetes. So let us see what the future will bring.

From today this will be a sugar free blog and for the rest things will be the same as always.
The Old Sailor,

How do you deal with your environment

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:47:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Last week we were watching a local TV soap they talked about environmental problems My youngest daughter all of a sudden spread her eyes wide open and said to me. “If they keep on doing this we will all get killed”. I gathered her into my arms. How could I soothe my daughter? I couldn’t picture myself saying: Don’t worry honey, when we’ve destroyed everything there is nothing else left than to die. I wondered, were other kids of her age also scared? Were we on the edge of disaster? I had to find out.

I started reading articles on the environment and talked to colleagues what their ideas were on these problems. Let me share what I found and figured out.

First, my daughter is not the only one being scared, many children are. A study found that 51 percent of children ages 9 to 17 were “very worried about harming the natural environment.”

Why are children so worried? So pessimistic? I believe that it’s because they are inundated with scary stories about environmental disasters like global warming, the growing ozone hole, the disappearing rain forest, and the loss of endangered species. Many leaders of the environmental movement believe that human beings have no more personal value than a hydrangea bush. But we are different from the beasts and plants.

Once your children understand their role in life on this planet, we can find small and practical ways for your family to be good stewards of our world hat we are living in. Here are ten suggestions to get you started:

1. Spend free time outdoors. As a family, take a walk in the forest or meadow. Observe the animals, plants, and insects. Look for animal tracks in the wet mud along a riverbank or in the forest. Learn about the flora and fauna in your area so you can understand how to work together with nature.

2. Recycle your bottles, cans, paper, and plastic bags. Older children can sort recyclables; younger ones can bag newspaper.

3. Start a simple compost pile. Our family composts leaves, grass, and yard clippings, but you can also compost fruits and vegetables.

4. Organize projects to pick up litter, plant trees, or do other projects to enhance the recreation areas in your neighborhood.

5. Kids who like detective work can trace the path of rain water in your neighborhood. Local maps show rivers and streams are running. You can visit local streams to see which way the water flows.

6. Consider making a wildlife habitat in your backyard or school yard. It is good fun to create a habitat for butterflies, hummingbirds, and other small creatures. Nature is very interesting for kids if you know what lives in your neighborhood.

7. Consider buying a living Christmas tree. Many nurseries sell trees growing in large pots. Living trees can be used for several years, then planted in your yard or local park. (If you are allergic to them like my family a good artificial tree will stand for more then fifteen years, if you handle it with care.)

8. Bike or walk instead of driving the car. You’ll help the environment by saving gas and oil–and you get free exercise.

9. Resist our culture’s consumer mentality by teaching your children to take care of their toys. Buy quality toys and encourage your children to do the same when they spend their allowance or birthdaymoney. Clean and repair old toys together, then recycle them at a yard sale or give them to a charity rather than throwing them away.

10. Work for a fair and balanced environmental legislation. Together with school, consider assigning this type of work to the older children. They’ll learn about the legislative process and what might be wrong in it. Think up a plan how to make a better place to live and how to find the money for it. Yes even kids can write letters to their local politicians and newspaper. Just to give them ammunition against those who would accuse them of not caring about the earth.

Finally, Let your children know that the environment is cleaner today than it was 25 years ago. If you’re old enough to remember, tell them what it was like in the 1970s when many of our cities were blanketed by dirty brown smog due to industrial polution. Communicating a sense of progress will give them hope. Let them know that environmental organizations often exaggerate problems to keep people focused on the problem and get them motivated to help.

Schools can be another source of scary stories. If you’re concerned about what your child is learning in school, ask to see the curriculum or confer with the teacher. Many teachers aren’t aware of the tendency to exaggerate environmental problems. By following this approach, you’ll help your child understand how he or she should live and what they can do to help. So the next time they hear about something like the disappearing rain forest, they’ll be able to say, I know that’s a problem, but my family is recycling and we have planted some trees in the neighborhood. And if I follow my ideas with all of my heart, I know that I will take care about the near future for me and my world. If we all would do this the world will become a better place to live.

Make a difference and start in your little part of the world today.
The Old Sailor,

Pick one: Smartphone or Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 18:21:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Hmmmm.......Honey not now I am so tired of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Hyves

What did I read last week into the Spits? (a free newspaper like Metro being spread in public areas and public transport)". Young people prefer smartphones over sex. Is this really stated there? I have read it three times before it dawned on me. WhatsApp, Facebook and email we like better than one steamy night between the sheets. I feel totally not addressed by this message. What happened to the duplication game? First of all, I have a smartphone but it is just there in case, and secondly, I like the game of love just a tad higher than mobile internet.

Help wanted, many positions available

But so many of us are so attached to the constant internet connection that it is difficult to take distance of it. Of course it is convenient to have your email within reach, when I am on the bus to check the news (of course during my breaks) and if you get lost a route planner to get you back into the right direction. But did you miss it five years ago? Mobile internet has become more accessible in recent years but I don’t miss it at all.

Cell phone with camera and vibrating function

My phone dates back to the era that law enforcers were riding horses and ships were made of wood. For now I'm still not going to admit that I really need to have a smartphone. If I do not know the way I will ask it to someone that passes by, on the bus I read a newspaper and I check my mail when I am at home. Call me old fashioned but I do not have to be online constantly. I do not need 100 different ways to stay in touch.

phoning was not that complicated

Before I was hooked to my good old fashioned Nokia blabberbox, ok it had the measurements of a fridge and was heavy like a army radio set. It was a safe kind of phone and impossible to destroy. (it committed suicide several times by jumping of the shelf on high seas but never had a scratch) All of sudden last year unexpectedly shortly it blew out its last monophonic tones, CPR was to late and in the phone hospital they could only transplant some of the memory into a new phone. I had to say good bye and with pain in my heart exchanged him for for a high-tech smartphone from HTC. I am slowly getting used to it.

We all need a hobby, I have an internet free room

But sweet blog readers, there's nothing like a sultry, passionate and steamy night. I'd rather lie beside a slender blonde with an appetizing figure than I wake up next to a smartphone. So be it that I am not in contact with the outside world for a while. It even appears that a lot of young people need about half of month’s salary to stay online. So we walk just past that sexy blonde or that irresistible man with medium length hair. That is so bloody wrong, and also actually spending a hell lot of money to stay in touch with your friends. Where is the logic part in this?

I only use half of all these functions

I think my opinion is clear! I'm not so dependent on a smartphone that I cannot miss it for two weeks. Sex is not the most important thing in life but it is a great way of spending some free time. What about you? Are you so badly attached to a mobile phone with internet that you have no sex for two weeks about? Hmmm........ I'm curious!

The Old Sailor,

Time is going by pretty fast

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 23:27:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Where has the time gone...it seems like yesterday, the day that you were born, made your fist steps and soon I was sending you off to school for your first day of kindergarten and now you're going to high school...

Just typing those words makes me uneasy and a bit sad. When did my little girl become a teenager? How did this happen so quickly and so covertly?

But more importantly, how do I handle being a dad of a teenage girl and doing a good job at least that is what I hope? Some say it can't be done. Dads and teen girls are just meant to not get along--it is written in the cards, as they say. Strange enough we are having our fights but we are still in speaking terms. No problems there. The fights are heavier between her and her mum.

I am determined to do this teenage thing with her successfully though. But I am scared, what if I fail? What if I fail her? I try to be as reasonable as possible and that is sometimes not that easy.

I worry constantly about her now. I always have, of course, since the day I held her in my arms for the first time. She was then and has always been, fiercely independent. I love this about her, and I am nervous for her because of it.

It is hard to get her to listen to and take advice from me or her mum because of her independent nature. She is less likely to compromise because of this quality. On the other hand she is a very shy and insecure kind of person. And that is a very strange mix. It is kind of scarey this in between woman and child personality.But I hope this characteristics of her personality will also keep her from being easily persuaded by her peers as she gets older and spends more time away from my protective arms (shivers down my spine).

I still see so much little girl in her, she is after all, becoming12, not 16. I want to reach out and grab that little girl that sneaks out once in awhile, does something stupid with a girlfriend, cries when I tell her off and hold her close when she is sad. I see it in her smile when she talks about her latest crush, Ralph Mackenbach (Young dutch artist and goodlooking like Justin Bieber.) I see it in her face when she finds out I am taking her shopping for new clothes. I hear it when she is in her room giggling with her best friend. And it warms my heart. And it makes me sad for I know tides are turning.

Ralph Mackenbach

I see the teenager coming out in her when I catch her looking in the mirror at herself, and not looking happy with the reflection she sees back. (“Sorry for the inconvenience caused by the poor screen quality of this mirror”) I hear it in her voice when she argues with me about school work not interfering with Jazz-dancing (though my point was that jazz-dance was interfering with her school work. See what I mean?) I see the teenage girl in my daughter when she wants the latest issue of Tina a Girlie Magazine, and privacy. LOTS OF PRIVACY.

I am worried about the boys. Not my boys, the other boys that will be coming around soon. I am worried about peer influence, drugs, sex, and boys. I am so scared she will be hurt, confused, and will not come to me for advice as she becomes more a teenager and less a little girl. And the boys. Did I mention I am worried about the boys? (Guys you’ll better be good to her otherwise things might get sore).

I want to hold her tight and not let go until she is, say, about 25. Is that possible?

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future. ~Author Unknown.

The Old Sailor.

It rains down on me and I am stil happy

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:43:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

My head was empty like my bus on the last journey, I was bored and had no inspiration at all.
Until hailstones and thunderstorms came out of nothing it pushed my my mind into the second gear again.

A sudden strike of inspiration. I grab my smartpone and pick up my pen. On such a rainy day the sun has not shone brighter. I look out upon the world with clouds stretching to the end of the sky. I stand in the cold rain but all I can see is the greatness of this beautiful planet that we live upon. All I can feel is the warm feelings of my friends and family. A raindrop falls on my spine and bring chills through my body bringing me back to reality. I look out upon the wet and sad looking world and smile, because the sun will always shine.

I wrote this on the spur of the moment, and I have another poem blossoming in my mind that I want to accompany the pictures I have taken. So here you go, another view into my mind.

As the rain fell from heaven,
And soaked the thirsty earth,
The leaves scorched by the sun,
The flowers their fragrance has gone,

And man thanked and murmured:
'O rain, you are pouring again,
Giving hope and determination,
For me to breath and go on living.'

The earth sprouted with greenery
Showing freshness and calmness,
The leaves swayed in the wind,
The flowers, proud and upright,
Smelled-sweet, expressed delight

Just remember no matter how bad it is, at the very least this insignificant boy you have never met... He still want you to smile and would be willing to take whatever pain you have just for that chance.

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health, time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love to do. One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life.

Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted.

Live life to the edge and I would end with the wise phrase: “Live life as long it is there, pray for less fights, spend your last money on a drink and fuck if your life is depending on it.”

The Old Sailor,

No money but loads of future left

noreply@blogger.com (Old Sailor) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 09:45:00 +0000

Dear Bloggers,

Childhood memories are special for everyone. I have a very happy memory of my childhood and always reminisce it with nostalgia. I was born and brought up in a small family which included my mother, father, brother and my two elder sisters. I have very fond memories of playing in our backyard, climbing trees to pluck fruits at the neighbors garden, going to the park and beach and enjoying life in general. Nobody was worried about the near future and as long we had something to eat, we were not complaining.
My dad was a operator at the coffee factory and my mother a housewife. Of all the memories, one particular memory is very important and taught me the importance of saving some money.

A nostalgic tube radio from my childhood years

Furthermore we had to help out with my dad’s hobby which was sometimes hard labour. In the evening hours we had our meal, a shower and watched some television. Some nights I had to go to bed and had a hard time to fall asleep. On my bedroom I had a nostalgic tube radio. The long copper spring wire was working as antenna and was spanned from one side to the other. Out here I listened to the programmes broadcasted by pirates like Mi Amigo, Radio Caroline and Veronica, sometimes I listened to classic stations from Russia or whatever country it was broadcasted from. The soft glow of the radio gave it somekind of mystic feeling.

We were absolutely not the richest people but we had an ok life. Eventhough my school friends went on holiday to far destinations and spend their money on daytrips, we stayed at home and slept in tents in the garden of the ponyfarm of my dad. I never felt it as a punishment as we grew up in a tourist village. And on saturday we were allowed to go out at a certain age of course. During the summer we earned some money for the food of the pony population as in the winter there was not much going on. Maybe other people found that we were pretty poor but it never bothered me. Only thing that has played my mind that we never ever went somewhere during the days that I at least can remember.

One summer, our family car suddenly broke down. Repair was the first option although it would cost a hell load of money to get this fixed.My father did not earn a very high salary and it was very difficult for us to raise that amount of money suddenly. Luckily, my father and mother had a habit of saving small amount of money regularly. This money was not touched but kept aside in case of emergencies. This amount turned out to be the exact amount required for the new second hand car. We were happy that the crisis had turned out right. Slowly we are getting into a financial crisis and we might loose our house as the mortgage puts on a lot of pressure as I only work 24 to 30 hours a week and that is not enough. My life is becoming a bad soap opera. Yes we are having the Blues, listening to myself saying: “We may be poor and there is nothing left to loose, I love you all with a smile and sometimes a small glass with booze”.

My favourite countrysinger Ilse de Lange

I realized for just a moment today that my life seems more like a country song than anything else now that I have Fibromyalgia. You know… lost my wife nearly, lost my car, lost my job and now we are getting closer that we would loose the house!!! Only it would be more like this: (Let me preface with I am NOT a song writer)

“I Lost My Sanity…Maybe it’s in The Refrigerator?“

You don’t have to touch me today, do you? I hope not, cause I might lose it if you try…You see I can’t take the slightest pat on the backside…get any closer and I might have to cry.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You don’t need a home cooked dinner, do you? If so you’re gonna have to cook it for yourself! It’s alright with me if you do, just to get some rest..an hour or two would be worth all the bitchin that you’re gonna do!

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

You see…today I lost my phone my keys my car my wife and the little bit of sanity that I had left. Bought a microwave meal and picked up a milkshake at the local drive through of Mc D. I got it all wrong but it seemed so right until I realized I was losing in this fight.

It’s the Fi-i-i-i-ibro it makes me fee-ee-ee-eel like such a wreck! I want a tissue for my nose, it bloody hurts everywhere my feet, my fingers and even my neck

I’m gettin to the end of this little country song, about something that will plague me for my whole life long. I just hope they find a cure before I lose again and find my car keys in the door, my phone in the fridge, my wife where she belongs, and my sanity….well I still haven’t found that one yet!!!!

My children learn to spend money but also how to save a little bit so there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. I learn them to enjoy small things like following butterflies in the garden, going a day to the beach with the whole family or a picknic in the park. Riding our push bikes for short trips through the forrest or even a bbq with some friends can make my day and give that holiday feeling.

It is not that bad today sailor

We were helped by the good habit of saving practiced by my parents. Before this incident, I was a spendthrift and use to spend all of my pocket money. This incident changed my way of thinking. I started to save even a little bit from my pocket money. I took to heart the saying, "Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean." Till today, I save money in whatever way I can. I have impressed upon my children the importance of saving money and have got them to do the same.

The Old Sailor,