Old Time Family Baseball

San Francisco, I'm Yours

michaelclair — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:13:15 -0700

Like the State of the Union, occasionally the Extremely Important and Powerful Manboys who run this site must get together to drink beer and watch baseball, preferably in an underground bunker surrounded with hi-tech security.

With that said, I just wanted to give a heads up that this Internet space will be dark for the Memorial Day weekend as we celebrate the unofficial, unsponsored, and honored by only two people, Old Time Family Baseball Festival. I’ll be meeting up with my bloggin’ partner, Will Hall, and we’ll be heading to the Bay Area to see if we can finally find a decent place for the Athletics to move.

While we’re there, we’ll be catching a few ballgames, buying those weird Giants/A’s split caps, taking wacky pictures inside an Alcatraz cell, touring the local bars, and hopefully meeting up with a few of San Francisco’s best and brightest.

As we search for the elusive JT Snow statue that has only been mentioned in archaic texts, updates will be scarce, but you can check us out on Twitter (@clairbearattack, @manybothansdied) for Twitpics of dimly lit cheeseburgers. Plus, if you’re a San Fransiscan, get in touch and tell us where we should go. Oh, and you’re more than welcome to buy us drinks as the local custom dictates.

For the rest of you, have a safe and burn-free barbecuing weekend.

I had never seen this card until now and yet, somehow, this is...

michaelclair — Thu, 24 May 2012 09:13:01 -0700

I had never seen this card until now and yet, somehow, this is what I’ve based my life on..

80sbaseballplayeroftheday:

Despite the chopper mustache, beefy sideburns, extra-medium hair, affinity toward pastel clothing and the fact he was born in Brooklyn, Dennis Leonard wasn’t known to be a hipster.

Also, despite being a three-time 20-game winner for the Royals when they were actually relevant, Leonard never made an All-Star team.

Chances are he probably turned that internal rage into a mean slam poetry performance piece. Or wrote a self-produced novella about it.

Quick: three guess as to who throws left handed, kind of, has a...

michaelclair — Thu, 24 May 2012 08:12:59 -0700

Quick: three guess as to who throws left handed, kind of, has a big goofy smile, and a chin strap beard on the Phillies? Give up? Why it’s Roy Halladay, of course, doing three things he would never, ever do.

Even better, the MLB.com product description lists this as:

“Hand crafted and hand painted with decals to authenticate the logos, names and numbers on their uniforms to replicate the ones they wear on the field.”

So…good job on getting the logos right, I guess.

(via Zoo With Roy, h/t @PunkonDeck)

At this summer’s San Diego Comic-Con, the outside of Petco...

michaelclair — Thu, 24 May 2012 04:38:14 -0700

At this summer’s San Diego Comic-Con, the outside of Petco Park will be transformed into an obstacle course of fear, terror, and oblivion as The Walking Dead Escape will take place.

Sadly, the attraction will not spill out onto the baseball diamond, depraving scores of people the opportunity to run the bases while being chased by zombies before sliding, spikes up, into a member of the undead horde.

If you’re going to be in the area between July 12-14 and want to square off against the Walkers, check out the site for more info.

Like the nerdy girl in an 80s comedy, no one considered Cole...

michaelclair — Thu, 24 May 2012 03:49:31 -0700

Like the nerdy girl in an 80s comedy, no one considered Cole DeVries a legitimate prospect until he finally took off those glasses, let down his hair, and put on something slinky and flattering.

Of course, DeVries, after learning that he was simply called up by the Twins so they could win a bet, ran home sobbing and swore off of baseball forever.

(via NotGraphs)

A man with no energy bracelets probably never gets to the ball....

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:44:04 -0700

A man with no energy bracelets probably never gets to the ball. A man with one energy bracelet can probably knock it down, but can’t do anything with it. Fortunately, Brandon Phillips is fully charged with two nonsense bracelets.

I Get It Now, The AL East Exists In An Alternate Universe

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:19:58 -0700

Imagine you’re the Boston Red Sox and you’re facing the Baltimore Orioles. It should be an easy game, after all, when have the Orioles been good? And you’ve got Daniel Bard starting who, while he was only pitching relief before this year, had struck out over a batter an inning complete with a 2.88 ERA in his Major League career. And with a payroll just shy of $200 million, your offense should be rolling, lead by Kevin Youkilis, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Adrian Gonzalez. But you see, the problem with all of that is this: it’s happening in the real universe. Somehow, perhaps because of a worm hole and CISPA, the AL East has been teleported away.

In this bizarre “Dark Planet,” Daniel Bard is just an average pitcher who has now walked more batters than he’s struck out. And the Orioles sit atop the standings. And the triumverate of Youkilis, Ellsbury, and Gonzalez have combined for 8 home runs. Which is worth only two Albert Pujolses.

And yet, on an unseasonably warm May day (for May, in this alternate universe, tends to be bitterly cold), the Red Sox still won the ballgame. Because Daniel Nava, a former equipment manager turned indy league stud turned Major Leaguer, picked up two hits and his third home run while waiver wire familiar Scott Podsednik had another two hits, and backup catcher Kelly Shoppach also added two hits and a home run. Sure, Kevin Youkilis picked up two hits in the effort, like he would if it was the proper universe, but it was while he was playing first base so that Will Middlebrooks could get his bat into the lineup and also collect two base hits. None of this would happen if it weren’t for a bizarre rip into the very fabric of existence.

And while box scores may often seem like a strange and random assortment of letters and numbers, today the first 4 batters in the Red Sox lineup went 3-for-20, while the bottom 5 each collected 2 hits apiece, finishing the day 10-for-16 with two home runs. That is just how this other place operates, with perfect and precise precision.

If Bruce Springsteen is the boss, then Twins clubhouse manager...

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 19:12:51 -0700

If Bruce Springsteen is the boss, then Twins clubhouse manager Wayne Hattaway is the boss’ boss.

(Photo by David Banks/Getty Images)

Edwin Encarnacion Likes Hitting Baseballs, Hates Wearing Gloves

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 18:46:00 -0700

Edwin Encarnacion has always had power, which is kind of the reason why he’s still in the Major Leagues. His glove, to put it kindly, rests somewhere between iron pan and Lovecraftian monster that will one day destroy the world. It’s why he passed from the Blue Jays to the offense-starved Athletics back to the Blue Jays over the course of one offseason, with nary an at-bat taking place in green and gold.

But now that the Blue Jays are content to let Encarnacion mostly play DH, free from the stress and strife of fielding the ball, he has hammered 14 home runs in only 192 at-bats. Extrapolate that across 550 at-bats, and Encarnacion is on pace to hit 40 home runs, easily besting his career high of 26 he hit with the Reds back in 2008. While many players complain about DHing, saying they have trouble maintaining focus at the plate, the easier the defensive position, the better Encarnacion does.

In his career, Encarnacion is a .255/.333/.448 hitter at third base, hitting a home run every 23.2 at bats. At first, he’s a .279/.320/.486 hitter, with a home run every 20 (small sample size rules apply). But when Encarnacion leaves his glove at home and he can sit in the dugout and play Super Mario on his Game Boy Color save for four trips to the plate an evening, he becomes an All-Star, hitting .289/.355/522 with a home run every 18.2 at-bats. Add back the 13 or so runs that Encarnacion gives away on defense as judged by UZR, and once again the Blue Jays are making the smart decision. One can only hope that the presence of the free-swinging and positionless Vladimir Guerrero, currently knocking on Toronto’s door, doesn’t complicate the picture.

This is why the Rays have become the class of baseball:...

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 11:10:00 -0700

This is why the Rays have become the class of baseball: attention to detail. Of course Luke Scott, with his mutton chops and penchant for killing things, is Wolverine, and Will Rhymes, who even admitted to it a few days ago, is now confirmed as Batman. All that’s left is Jose Molina taking on the role of The Thing.

(h/t HBT)

Stupid Pet Tricks

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 08:17:00 -0700

From the venerable Bill James:

“This is a true story; the Red Sox minor league equipment co-ordinator used to have a dog that had been trained to tell the difference between a minor league ball and a major league ball. We would sort the balls into “buckets”—major league balls in one bucket, minor league balls in the other. Major league teams have dozens and dozens of buckets of balls around for batting practice and such like. Anyway, if there was one major league ball in a bucket of minor league balls, that dog would smell it, and he would remove all the balls from the bucket until he found the major league ball, put it in the major league bucket, then he would put the minor league balls back in the minor league bucket. True story. “

The only thing I ever trained my dog to do was run around in circles until she collapsed from exhaustion. (She was a border collie. And a little ‘touched.’)

Fun fact: Graham Godfrey remembers when baseball was still...

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 05:26:37 -0700

Fun fact: Graham Godfrey remembers when baseball was still called “Rounders.”

The Superman/Tony Campana Venn Diagram

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 04:38:27 -0700

Tony Campana is fast and wily. Video proof. Photographic proof.

(Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

He’s also so much like Superman, I’m not so sure he’s not Superman. Consider:

I’m on to you, Mr. Campana. But don’t worry, I’ll play Jimmy Olsen if you’ll simply be my best friend.

And for those who have trouble seeing the diagram, full size version is here.

In 1917, the art and cartooning departments of the Chicago...

michaelclair — Wed, 23 May 2012 03:49:14 -0700

In 1917, the art and cartooning departments of the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Herald came together to play a ballgame to raise money for the Red Cross while America was embroiled in World War I.

Featuring the talents of the people who created the classic comics Popeye, The Gumps, and Gasoline Alley among others, the Tribune trounced the Herald 19-3 behind the pitching of former semi-pro Carey Orr. Orr struck out 13 and surrendered only four hits in the game, while also picking up three hits at the plate and stealing two bags.

Of course, the game was called after seven innings by umpire Sam Hall, sporting editor of the Examiner and he’s described as “being too fat to stand much outdoor exercise” and so he called the game early because he “got tired and wanted to quit.” If there is one thing about Sam Hall that should be remembered, it’s this.

The Comics Journal has much more in depth look at the game including the player’s involved, so I suggest you click through and read their whole piece.

Like a second grader, I can throw somewhere in the mid-40s when...

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 20:47:16 -0700

Like a second grader, I can throw somewhere in the mid-40s when at one of those Gauge Your Speed machines. Josh Donaldson can throw harder than that while sitting down. And with more accuracy, too.

Turns Out Adrian Beltre Can Smile After All

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 15:09:31 -0700

He just needs Felix Hernandez to melt his heart first:

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Of course, this is more akin to Beltre’s natural state:

(gifs via BoSox Gifs, NotGraphs)

The Reading Level of Sportswriters

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 14:27:00 -0700

Since sportswriters and thinkers constantly use numbers to judge the value of the ballplayers they love, it’s only fair that the tables are occasionally turned. Hence, the Harvard Sports Analysis blog has turned to writing’s WAR, in this case the Flesh-Kincaid Reading Level, a one number catch all to describe the level a writer’s working at.

Just like WAR, this number has a variety of inherent problems, namely that the amount of words and syllables per sentence has any real bearing on the quality of the writing and the ideas that are being transmitted. Still, it’s good fun and not too surprising to learn that, while writers like Bill Simmons and Will Leitch can be understood by eighth graders, Rick Reilly is writing for the elementary school set.

Go forth and check it out, but just remember not to put too much stock in the results. And I say that while refusing to find out if my writing equates to that of a fourth grader.

Santiago Casilla At The Plate

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 07:02:52 -0700

I especially like the frightened stare behind him as he walks back to the plate, as if to say “Whoa. Dude. Did that really happen?”

(Artful .gifs made by @gidget)

Last night, Giancarlo Stanton showed off his reality-shaping...

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 06:33:05 -0700

Last night, Giancarlo Stanton showed off his reality-shaping powers, damaging a scoreboard with a 438 foot grand slam off of Jamie Moyer.

Oh yeah, and Moyer’s pitch, which left his hand at just over 70 mph and arrived at just 66.4 mph, was then sent out at 122 mph, which must have involved such forces and torques from Stanton that I cannot and will not understand.

I hope you feel good, Giancarlo, for embarrassing an old man who just wanted to play some baseball. Highlight here.

(photo via Joe Capozzi, h/t Mighty Flynn)

Maybe the Mayans John Cusack in the film 2012 was onto...

michaelclair — Tue, 22 May 2012 03:49:12 -0700

Maybe ~~the Mayans~~ John Cusack in the film 2012 was onto something. Because this is the kind of thing that could crumble sovereign nations and cause Facebook’s stock value to plummet.*

This is a good cultural reference, right?