tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63848635022543456872024-10-25T01:51:20.118-05:00If you're from the Upper Midwest, then you probably grew up with Olie (or Ole), Lena and Sven. This blog is a little tribute to our favorite Norwegians. If you like Olie and Lena jokes, you've come to the right place!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger137125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-68623834483278220902012-06-05T16:23:00.000-05:002012-06-05T16:23:00.367-05:00

A teenage boy tells his father, "Dad, there's trouble with the car, it has water in the carburetor." The father looks confused and says, "Water in the carburetor, that's ridiculous!" But the son insists. "I tell you, the car has water in the carburetor." His father, starting to get a little nervous, says "You don't even know what a carburetor is.... but I will check it out. Where is the car?"

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-21767484029848428922012-05-31T14:53:00.000-05:002012-05-31T14:53:00.425-05:00

Lena competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The French woman came in first, the English woman second. Lena reached the shore completely exhausted. She remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose utter two girls used der arms."

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-81017506992520699482012-05-29T16:22:00.000-05:002012-05-29T16:22:00.640-05:00

I was on vacation in Florida on Christmas vacation. I was walking down the beach and I see one of my colleagues approaching me. He is a psychologist. "You had breakfast yet," I ask? "No." "Let's find a place." "Good," he says. "My car is right over there." I get in his car, a brand-new Lincoln, and right away I notice that it's a stick-shift. I say, "You bought a new Lincoln with a stick

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-23208555418173384982012-05-24T14:51:00.000-05:002012-05-24T14:51:00.972-05:00

Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway hall meeting as long as there had been a hall. And every month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a prize in the monthly draw. That is until the last meeting. Sven was the first one of the three to get his name drawn. He won two pounds of spaghetti sauce, four boxes of noodles, and three pounds of Swedish meatballs. Ole had his name

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-71943753973869103222012-05-22T16:22:00.000-05:002012-05-22T16:22:00.876-05:00

A college student drove his ratty, raggedy old car into the mechanic's shop, needing some repair advice for his jalopy. The mechanic looked at it for a couple of minutes and said, "What you really need is the radiator cap solution." "Oh," said the student, trying not to sound too confused, "Do you mean the radiator cap isn't holding enough pressure?" "That's part of the problem," the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-76787716169380039982012-05-20T09:47:00.000-05:002012-05-20T09:47:00.362-05:00

When flying from Palm Springs, California to Dallas, Texas the flight attendant announced:  "In the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device..." When asking a barista for an iced coffee, they replied apologetically that the place didn't serve it.  When I asked if they had ice: "yes, we have that".  When I asked if they had black

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-85718310083564637302012-05-17T14:48:00.000-05:002012-05-17T14:48:00.730-05:00

Ole and Sven were playing golf when Sven pulled out a cigar but didn't have a lighter. So he asked Ole for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," Ole replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12-inch lighter. "Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, "Vhere did yew get dat monster??" "Vell," replied Ole, "I got it from my Genie." "You haff a genie?" Sven asked. "Ya, shure,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-67864046262828132542012-05-15T16:21:00.000-05:002012-05-15T16:21:01.027-05:00

One day a man walked into a bar. He told the bartender that he didn't have any money. However, he would show the bartender something amazing in exchange for a drink. It was a slow day, so the bartender agreed. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a frog and a tiny saxophone. He gave the saxophone to the frog. The frog then proceeded to play an incredible jazz

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-31560545383506353352012-05-13T15:21:00.000-05:002012-05-13T15:21:00.238-05:00

PARDEEVILLE, Wis. -- Authorities in Columbia County said a 36-year-old man tied up his young son with tape after the boy refused to wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's game last Saturday. Read more here.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-37883222110398223752012-05-10T14:47:00.000-05:002012-05-10T14:47:00.473-05:00

Ole and Lena had Mr. and Mrs. Thorvald over for lutefisk. Lena knew that Mr. Thorvald liked his lutefisk with lots of melted butter and black pepper. After the company had gone home, Lena made a terrible discovery. She had served Mr. Thorvald gunpowder instead of black pepper! Vell, it vas too late to call or go over, so Lena lay awake all night vorrying. Early the next morning she called the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-48514906596358067012012-05-08T16:20:00.000-05:002012-05-08T16:20:01.145-05:00

A bird hunter appears in court for having shot a pelican. The judge, shaking his head says, "Son, what were you thinking? Surely you know that pelicans are a protected species!" To which the man replies "Well, Your Honor sir, I've been out of work for months, about to lose my home, and my family was hungry.? The judge ponders this a moment, then says, "Well, the law says you should be in jail

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-62075919039130406772012-05-06T08:30:00.000-05:002012-05-06T08:30:01.497-05:00

You may have already heard the news, but foreign shores are tinkering with our most dearly-beloved foods.  Is this a sign of cutting edge innovation?  Or unholy Frankenstein foodstuffs that should have never been pulled from the oven? Pizza Hut (yes, Pizza Hut) has introduced Hot Dog-stuffed pizza crust in the UK. And in the United Arab Emirates, they've rolled out Crown Pizza,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-47972081430666980052012-05-03T14:45:00.000-05:002012-05-03T14:45:00.575-05:00

Ole and Lena finally got married, and Ole was driving her to St. Paul for the honeymoon. "Ole," says Lena, "give me a kiss." "No," says Ole, "somebody might see." "Nobody vill see," says Lena, "and besides, we're married now." "No, Lena," says Ole, "somebody might see." "Ole," says Lena, "I vant a kiss and I vant it now! Stop this car and park it. Ve'll get out and crawl under the car

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-82513513877174274542012-05-01T16:19:00.000-05:002012-05-01T16:19:00.808-05:00

Thepastor of the local Baptist church had a parrot who was always using bad language. One day a group of visiting ministers came to his home for lunch and the parrot let loose with some exceptionally profane stuff. The pastor was really embarrassed and, after he ushered out the last of the ministers, he grabbed the parrot, and said, "Look, you have embarrassed me for the last time. You can

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-45946997046050628272012-04-29T15:17:00.000-05:002012-04-29T15:17:00.727-05:00

Eat your hearts out. Or at least, check it out:

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-61012131418271213022012-04-26T14:41:00.000-05:002012-04-26T14:41:00.911-05:00

Well, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. Lena went every Sunday and taught Sunday School. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile, he went on one of the other Sundays. On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed what a fine looking woman she was. Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole leaned forward and said, "Hey, Lena, how about

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-26960088984232114632012-04-24T16:18:00.000-05:002012-04-24T21:13:35.401-05:00

The local university lab has decided to lay off all of the lab rats. You would think that this was due to animal rights protesters complaining about their treatment, but the university found that it was easer to use attorneys. No one complains -- and there are just some things a rat will not do.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-78584511642803147052012-04-22T15:13:00.000-05:002012-04-22T15:13:00.664-05:00

Messex, Colo., Has Been Largely Abandoned, and Its Only Residents Like It That Way; 'We Get Along OK' Nobody except Mr. Ulibarri, 68 years old, and his neighbor, Dixie Newman, 76—the only residents of this hamlet at the intersection of two gravel roads on the high plains of northeastern Colorado. Both may be away visiting relatives in the Denver area on New Year's Eve. Everything got better

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-35609991704946262222012-04-19T14:39:00.000-05:002012-04-24T21:13:12.259-05:00

Ole leaves Duluth to get a job as a chauffer driving a huge limosine in New York City.  The Pope arrives at the airport and Ole picks him up. Now, the Pope wants to do the driving. Ole says that's against company rules but Mama Ole raised him to never argue with the clergy. The Pope is a terrible driver, he goes up on the sidewalk, he doesn't stop to pay the parking lot toll:  it

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-11353552307506313962012-04-17T16:16:00.000-05:002012-04-17T20:37:47.717-05:00

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-49727519517027842272012-04-15T15:07:00.000-05:002012-04-15T15:07:00.677-05:00

I think this says it all: Seen in a local newspaper:  "Marge Friendly had a visitor this weekend. Her nephew Cletus came to visit and helped her with chores." Read more here.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-63065767109164791872012-04-15T15:04:00.000-05:002012-04-24T21:12:34.343-05:00

Then almost like a bolt of lighting, I realized why the jacket in the backseat looked familiar: it wasn't my grandsons, I has seen our town Mayor wearing it! I also recalled seeing him in the post office that morning. Bingo! Now I knew who's car I had stolen! You can read the rest of the tale of how Grandma accidentally stole the mayor's car here.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-70959596856123299822012-04-12T08:02:00.000-05:002012-04-17T09:15:50.991-05:00

Ole's boss had been invited to Ole and Lena's for supper. As Lena was setting the table, Ole's boss casually asked Little Ole what was being served for supper. Little Ole said, "I think it is buzzard . . . because this morning Mama said to Papa, 'If we are going to have that old buzzard for supper, it might as well be tonight.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-76966782959740684962012-04-08T14:33:00.000-05:002012-04-08T14:33:00.201-05:00

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota: If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in Minnesota. If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Minnesota. If you have

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6384863502254345687.post-88222134754078118742012-04-05T08:02:00.000-05:002012-04-17T09:16:12.603-05:00

The teacher caught a daydreaming Little Ole off guard in history class when she suddenly asked, "Ole, what happened when Hannibal crossed the Alps with a hundred elephants?" Ole said, "He got a mountain range that never forgets."

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0