A Log of Life

Consciously Mindless

2012-04-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm not mindful.
I'm trying this 8-week course, and I can't even go one day with the exercises.
Challenges are hard, sure, but for some reason I'm not even interested the ones I pick myself.
I don't know what that says about me, but I'm sure it isn't good...

Week 2 of Conscious Action

2012-03-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

This is the beginning of week two of Mindful thought, relishing each moment and experiencing every second.
I am to meditate twice a day after reading the five page instruction, which automatically takes up all of the time I have to concentrate on myself in one day.
And I am to pick a new daily activity to focus upon during each second of it, like reading all of the instructions for meditation, maybe.
Also be aware that now is all we have; yesterday and tomorrow are memories and visions while we create the times we live. I am to count ten positive things in my life each day.
Okay.
Here I go. I'm off to meditate, but I would bet money I'll fall asleep. Shhh. Don't tell.

Mindful equals Semi-Conscious

2012-03-29T10:28:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to be mindful, I find I am...not.
My experiment at being more conscious of the individual movements I make have made me increasingly aware that I am on auto-pilot, and I must say that's disturbing.
My mind is going ninety-to-nothing all day long and sometimes I'm not even sure what I've done and what I've left to do.
I'm not alone in this, obviously, or this book "Mindfulness" would not have been written.
And just Google the word! Thousands upon thousands of references pop up, indicating that the whole planet needs to settle in for the ride, enjoy the view, make a memory.
This first week has shown me just how difficult it is to do that very thing.
I shall persist!
Maybe next week I'll be semi-conscious for half the time instead of a quarter. That's progress, right?

Mindful

2012-03-23T10:47:00.000-05:00

I've read a lot of books about meditation lately. Namely for using it to notice the world and how you are an integral part of it.
Martha Beck writes extensively about Oneness and Wordlessness, practices of deep meditation, deep enough to be part of the cosmos fabric again for an instant or minutes on end, letting the conscious realm flow about you while you look on in wonder.
Now I'm reading Mindlessness, An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. I could be more mindful, I certainly could.
This week's practice is to be fully aware when doing a mundane daily ritual, such as brushing your teeth. Feel the brush, taste the paste, be conscious of the muscle movements.
Okay. I can do that.
And eat raisins or nuts thoughtfully and with attention.
I can do that too.
And also for six days this week, meditate on the whole body, part by part, incorporating it all in one mental space. If the brain wanders, as it will, let it go to it's place and acknowledge what it's thinking, then firmly pull it back to the task at hand, which is not thinking.
Okay.
I shall try all of this and report.

Day 8: Vegan Challenge

2012-03-19T19:50:00.000-05:00

I quit!
I declare the time of death for the 30-day vegan challenge to be ... 7:48pm on the 19th of March.
I love eggs and milk and cheese and don't want to quit them.
Especially since I got a new bag of Oreos. Nothing lactose-free goes quite so well with Oreos as good old cow's milk. Nothin'.
It seems that -etari- is a big part of the non-meat but not non-dairy world, and I'm fine with that.
Just fine.

Day 7: vegan breakfasting

2012-03-19T10:49:00.001-05:00

Today is about new breakfast ideas, with tempeh and other vegan "meats", and I'm preparing pancakes for my son. It's a just-add-water mix, but I'm sure it's cheating.
Of course, I probably won't eat any. I'm not really tempted.
Not really.
Really.
Well maybe a little tempted. It's the syrup that's my downfall. The pancake is just something to sop with.

Day 6: take the time

2012-03-18T20:56:00.000-05:00

Day 6 of the Vegan Challenge involves tackling the unfun part of cooking fresh. Chopping vegetables and readying to cook takes a while. But it's worth it. Cooking requires setup. Chopping is dull, planning ahead is dull, but it's worth the effort to eat healthy and stay healthy, because being sick requires more down time than anything. Plus it sucks.
Interesting too, because I've started reading a book called "Failing Sainthood" and part of her own personal challenge has been meditating while doing the little domestic crap we all hate to do. Preparing dinner can certainly be considered one of those menial tasks.
So read her book, too. I like her writing style. She's witty and compelling and real.

Day 5: try new things

2012-03-17T10:17:00.000-05:00

Try new things, new foods. Get new taste experiences. Look at the plating of your food. Are you accustomed to having meat be the center? It's a cultural difference from say the way Indian food is plated with it's mix of what we normally consider "side dishes".
It's all what you are accustomed to.
Today in Patrick-Groutreau's 30-day challenge, we take what we know, like a favorite soup, and use vegetable broth instead of chicken. Easy substitution.
Or use a teaspoon of liquid smoke in the bean soup to give it the smoky flavor associated with meat.
Making the same old dishes again and again would bore any palate, vegan or not.
But I do hate the veggie hot dogs I tried the other day.They're made by Veggie Patch and I have to say they were awful. Dirt taste, far too non-salt of the earth for my taste.
But never give up and I'm on to find other things to add to my list.
Oh, and if you have a Smashburger near you, try their black bean burger. It's wonderful. Filling and delicious and great.

Vegan grocery

2012-03-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

Did you know there are vegan grocery stores online? I had no idea.
Suzannes Specialties

Vegetarian Online Food Store

Veganmania

Black Duck Imports

Vegan Essentials

Very interesting.

Day 4, Know your grocery store

2012-03-16T10:44:00.000-05:00

Four days into the vegan challenge and I'm just grossed out by all the facts and info I've been given. Today's challenge is to learn the grocery store, that the whole foods are mostly around the perimeter of the store while preservative filled and filler-foods are on the aisles.
But she says that the non-animal products are generally housed right next to the animal products, we usually just don't see them.
Makes sense.
And check out the Asian food aisle, as most of their foods do not include animal by-products.
And still, to always remember we don't have to be perfect vegans, just conscious people trying to make a difference in what we eat and how we treat the world.
That's good, because so far this week I have been vegetarian, but not vegan. I still have half a gallon of milk, which is remarkably slow ingestion for me. Usually I'd be on the second gallon for the week and so maybe the information is working it's way into my brain pan.

Day 3 of Vegan Challenge: Gelatin

2012-03-15T11:52:00.000-05:00

Day three is about labels, reading them and learning what those ingredients really are. Best advice: read the label, buy the stuff with the least stuff in it and make sure you recognize the stuff.
Easy enough.
Lard: pig stomachs.
Lanolin: derivative of sheep wool.
Urea: used to give pretzels that familiar brown tint.
Gelatin: wait a minute...
I know what gelatin is, right? Jell-o? "Watch it wiggle", Bill Cosby commercials, good stuff.
Nope. According to Patrick-Goudreau, gelatin is made of slaughterhouse leftovers, like skin and bones and oh my gosh who-knows-what-else. I believe the author, but I don't really want to.
Because marshmallows contain gelatin.
Marshmallows? Aren't they supposed to be just fluffy sugary goodness? Made from love and happiness and extra light?
Now I have to find an alternative for my S'mores.
And gummy candy and vitamins, they all have gelatin, too. Makes sense, of course, I just hadn't thought gelatin-of-my-youth was a problem.
This "thinking about it" stuff is no fun.

Day 2, Vegan challenge

2012-03-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

Today is noting how to compare between vegetarian and animal proteins and how the cost trickles up to health costs, et cetera. Not very exciting stuff.
I did try the Morning Star Meal Starter, the sliced "chicken" for dinner. I told my son, Bubs, it was poultry but didn't use the air quotes. He didn't exactly fall for it. But he's particularly particular when it comes to food, so he's not the best judge of taste. I liked it. Covered it over with beans and zucchini and bell pepper and called it a gastric feast.
Then I went running for five miles.
I was a carbon emissions violation waiting to happen...

Day 1, Vegan Challenge: It's on

2012-03-13T15:34:00.000-05:00

According to the book "The 30-Day Vegan Challenge", Day 1 is purge the cabinets day, find out what foods I already have that are vegan and acceptable so I can eat something and not die.
I have: peanut butter, noodles, marinara sauce...that's pretty much it.
Obviously I'm off to the store for all things vegetable and non-animal-fied!
Whoo hoo! Watch the tracks of my Mighty Taurus as I round the corner of nutrition!
I still have three-fourths of a gallon of cow milk. Today I might be more vegetarian than vegan.
One things I rely heavily on is the author -- Patrick-Goudreau -- and her advice that being vegan isn't about being perfect -- Whew! -- but trying as hard as you can to make conscious choices.
With that in mind my challenge lessens a little, perhaps to a more attainable level for this city girl.

Okay, Vegan World -- here I come

2012-03-12T21:16:00.000-05:00

I read Foer's Eating Animals. I'm probably redundant, I've told so many stories from this book.
Stories that make me say ick.
ICK! I tell you.
I'm off eating animals for the duration of the memories of those stories, anecdotal evidence of the world of animal "husbandry" that exists outside the domain of my grocery store freezer aisle.
Horrendous.
So why not jump with both feet into veganism? I see no reason not to.
I'm taking a 30-day challenge to do so. Starting tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure.
I still have this unopened package of Oreos that I have thoughtfully walked past all day. It is indeed unopened, I repeat, and that alone is a remarkable feat for me. I'm an Oreo junkie. AND they're double stuff. I've ignored twice the stuff!!
So. Tomorrow the journey begins into the world of meatless Mondays and Tofu Tuesdays. I'm off!
Wish me luck...

Day 2: What Would Madonna Do Workout

2012-03-09T23:26:00.000-06:00

I'd like to say tonight was easier.
But no. No, it wasn't.
I didn't do the cardio portion again -- my Bubs is sick and I couldn't get out of the house to gallop a while.
That's my excuse. I'm using it.
But I upped my weights to blueberry pie filling, a solid 18.5 ounces.
Whew!
And I did the full 100 reps.
Yep, they call me Big Rock. That's 'cause I'm so strong.
No. No one calls me Big Rock. Or even Little Pebble.
Never mind the whining I did putting those cans back in the pantry. Those shelves were high! At least three feet up!
My weakened muscles were spent, I tell ya. Spent.

Madonna Workout

2012-03-08T23:15:00.001-06:00

A free periodical, Living Well Today, was perched charmingly on display inside the front door of the local Homeland. The front cover featured Madonna, recently seen during halftime of the Super Bowl, next to a teaser about her workout, how she achieves her marvelous figure, and how I, too, can do her workout and look just as good as her.
Whaaat?? Count me in!
I grabbed the mag and headed back out the door without my requisite package containing the promised soy milk for my little man, Bubs. (Needless to say, later I made a return trip to the store for the aforementioned milk, but really that's a sidebar to this story, the promise of having thigh muscles that pop walnuts.)
Once home and in appropriate workout attire -- a pair of old shorts and an even older t-shirt, 'cause who am I trying to impress? -- I opened the pages to the training schedule and outlined workout.
First: cardio. 30 minutes of alternately sprinting, galloping, and skipping.
Uuuh...I'm 40 plus a minute or two years old. I can sprint, sure ... slowly ... but in my head I run like the wind.
Skip? I stopped that when I was five.
Gallop?? I am not even sure what that means. I visualized a sort of limp in which I put a foot in front and drag the other behind, like a dead limb. It's not a pretty picture. And do you go a ways and then alternate feet? Huh?
Move ahead.
Second: strength. 5 exercises, and a sixth for the expert.
No problem, I'm strong. Bring it.
1. Hold a three pound weight in each hand, arms at your sides, and bring them up over your head, forming a Y. Lower. Repeat. 100 times.
I don't have three pound weights.
I have a 15.5 ounce can of corn and a 16 ounce can of little green peas.
No one is watching. That will work. And I go.
I'm lifting. I'm laughing a bit at myself as I sling vegetables up and down and the weight seems so very light as to be ineffective.
And I'm just that conceited until I reach rep number 33 and I think my veggies have gained weight suddenly; maybe the cans are bloated, all my hurling them about has reconfigured their...juice...stuff...that they float in...
Around rep 50 I feel like I have reconfigured and that my muscles have atrophied to those of a woman twenty years older than me.
The corn is a little higher than the peas, because of that half ounce I guess, but by a little I mean a little.
Rep 76 brings me to Uncle. I shuddered just trying to put the veggies back on their respective shelves in my pantry.
Exercises 2 through 5? They can wait. They can wait a long while.
I'm off to vomit.

I See Green

2011-09-30T10:15:00.002-05:00

My five-year-old son just painted his fingernails with a green Dry Erase marker, and wonders why he can't keep it that way forever. I envision green spots all over the furniture, the walls, the car, or perhaps those green spots are anger. Hmmm. While I clean his hands, I'll mull over which it is...

New drawing

2011-07-17T16:43:00.000-05:00

Finished this drawing -- FINALLY -- of my sister and her betrothed during their wedding. Can't think of the perfect caption, though, still working on that. Any ideas would be appreciated. Then I can get it to her.

youversion.com

2011-07-16T19:18:00.000-05:00

I find this amazing. If you don't have a copy of the Bible, or would like a mobile version to take anywhere: http://www.youversion.com/ is the place to go. For your mobile device or home PC, in any version you could ask for, even in different languages, go here. Check it out. I think it's remarkable. Downloaded once every 1.1 seconds. Simply amazing.

Vetiver

2011-07-15T17:23:00.000-05:00

This video has been around a while, but I just recently found it, and besides the cool longboarding, I just love the song. Vetiver's "The Swimming Song". Hope you enjoy.
http://youtu.be/mXqmRAUsn9U

Still Here

2011-07-15T16:01:00.003-05:00

I'm still here but I also have another space. Check it out: http://www.worthallthewhile.com/. Hope to see you stop by. Let me hear from you! I like to know I'm not alone out here in ether space.

DaWanda

2011-04-18T18:47:00.002-05:00

Check this new page I found. http://www.dawanda.en.com/
It's like Etsy, but free to list your homemade goods.
I'm still learning about it.
Let me know when you find good stuff.

What If...

2011-04-05T19:58:00.000-05:00

I have an idea to try 365 new things this year. Of course, one a day, 365, that will bleed over into 2012.
That's okay.
An idea is an idea, calendar be darned!
It will be a challenge, and I'm not going to start today, for heaven's sake. Procrastinating is what I'm trying this week.
But on April 10th I will be running a 10K "race," and I quote the word because the only thing that will be actually racing against me is that octogenarian that registered for the race as a human interest story for her granddaughter's school paper. (And I plan to kick her butt, thank you very much.)
So.
April 11th I will let you know how the first day of Trying Worthwhile Things 365X has gone...if I am not too feeble to get to the keyboard. And if I'm still breathing. And not in the hospital...sigh...you get my drift.

Mouse in the Frickin' House

2011-01-27T11:53:00.000-06:00

Mousy

I have a mouse, er, mice, problem.

When I visualize it, I see the scene in "Ratatouille" when the old lady shoots through the ceiling and reveals hundreds of the critters in the rafters.

I, too, can imagine hundreds of them, huddled in my sweater drawer, though I've only eyeballed a dozen or so.
And they are ballsy! Brave! Elephantitis of their tiny genitalia! Running here and there in broad fluorescent light across the kitchen floor, down the hall, into the living room.
Where am I during these brave forays into my sanity? Screaming like a girl, of course, and wiggling and dancing like a Native American, except without their grace and deliberateness.
My four-year-old just comes around the corner and says, "Another mouse, mama?"
He's so calm and cool and I want that peace, that surety that "Mama will fix it, I'm good, I'm watching Yo Gabba Gabba and all is well. Where's my juice box?"
I brought in the cat to kill while I was at the store. I came home to a blood bath, a veritable crime scene worthy of CSI, whichever city you choose, and I smiled as I cleaned up the vestiges of mouse blood. I felt creepy, but the cat gloated, I whistled, we were both happy.
Alas, of course, the mouse situation escalated as they gravitated toward my bed in the middle of the night. I kept vigil three nights in a row, and each of those nights the little sucker ran across my BED!!!
EEEK!
I called in reinforcements, who brought poison pellets larger than my fist and inserted them into feline-friendly areas of the domicile while I watched holding a plunger in case a rat scooted out in search of whatever.
Poison in place, I thought I would never see another whiskered rodent again.
Until one staggered into the bedroom at seven in the evening.
He was drunk on poison, moving slowly and without focus. I found a jar, scooped him up (without squealing, I was quite proud of my containment, pardon the pun), and proceeded to question why I was jarring him with glass and not a shoe.
Honestly, though, my killer instincts are non-existent, especially since my should-be victim was so dang adorable. Oh! those little paws!!!
My son inspected the mouse, determined him to be "so cute! I want to keep him forever!" and that was when the crisis entered in.
Soon I was going to have one dead-mouse-in-a-jar and one morose miniature pet owner.
Fifteen minutes later, mouse was a given, and a reprieve arrived: my son asked about the mouse's family. Yes! His family! They would miss him right?
I suggested release into the wild so Mousy could find his folks. (The Wild was the backyard, where the cat and dogs were not currently present.)
And my baby boy was sad sad sad for about a minute and a half, and now he's forgotten the whole deal.
I, however, have a cell phone containing a picture of a mouse in a jar and a lasting compulsion to carry a boot with me at all times, y'know, just in case...

Fun with Alcoholic Octogenarians

2010-11-02T14:41:00.001-05:00

Auntie is a drunk, she has been for most of her 86 uneventful years on this planet. Perhaps that's why she drinks, because she has no imagination or gumptive powers to find a better hobby.
She drinks Wild Turkey, 101 Proof. By my estimation between my fingers, toes, and an abacus, 101 proof equals more than fifty percent alcohol. And she buys it by the barrel, that ginormous jug reserved for lower liquor store shelves because sheer weight alone will bring the inventory down. One a week.
I am not a big drinker so I don't know that a vat of liquor per week is considered "a lot," especially to a run-of-the-mill alcoholic, but in my own personal brain, it seems to be quite a quantity of spirits. And, ironically, it is giving no lift to Auntie's spirit; she's still dour and puckered.
The drinking of 8-10 ounces of turkey juice is not enabling proper balance and walking skill, though she has a cane. Wobbling around is a fully mental challenge for her anyway, much less when she's sauced, and so I took it upon myself to remedy the situation with a bit of tap water each evening to top off the bottle.
Did I mention she has dementia? No? That's probably a crucial detail, because otherwise I would not get away with the dilution portion of my story. She would stagger over to me and smack me with the cane for taking the sweet out of her candy instead of just opening the bottle each day and drinking a lesser portion of her beloved liquor.
At first, the liquid looks like bourbon, it's a dark amber. After the first day, it's more Long Island Tea than straight barrel-aged sauce. Second day, she's looking a bit peaked, shall we say, kind of brewed tea, turning to a weaker brewed version the next day. Day four, it looks like a bottle of urine. It's not pretty. And by day five, Auntie is downing a glass or twelve of sunshine tinted water. At least I can be certain she is getting her recommended daily allotment of water each day.
Does she notice a substantial taste change? No, she does not.
But of course, when I watch her practically licking the inside of her tumbler to get to the last drops and I realize I am marvelling that any mammal other than a giraffe has a tongue that long, it's time to get a new bottle.
Here's the fun part: you can't water down a fresh bottle. There is no room in the inn, shall we say, and the bottle would of course overflow.
So you wait, just watch.
She pours that first drink, sits at the table, eagerly lifts that glass to her mouth, and takes that first sip.
Bam!
The lips purse, the throat constricts, the eyes squeeze tightly and then bug out like a thyroid patient and here come the sound effects! Starts with a gasp, ends with a whimper.
Visualize a water buffalo submerged too long. She shakes her cranium back and forth ferociously to get that junk down her gullet. Droplets of booze fly from her lips and snot from her nose and I think, "I'm gonna need Windex."
After the initial breathing returns, she looks at me and whispers from her abraded throat: "Good."
And I go to the cleaning cabinet for supplies.