Olson Family Matters

No Fear!

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 16:01:00 +0000

We have had Madelyn in and out of swim lessons since she was two. Since January of this year, she has been in weekly hour-long lessons in an attempt to help her overcome her fear of leaving the edge of the pool without someone holding her. Unfortunately, there were some incidents when she first began taking swimming lessons that likely contributed to this fear. Troy and I’s “sermons” about not letting fear rule her life were (unsurprisingly) having little impact.

It turns out that I should have been giving the sermons to myself first. . .

A few weeks ago, I had a particularly bad day while preparing some things for my return to work. Madelyn called me out on my attitude and questioned me on why I had such a bad attitude. I told her I needed to calm down and think about it, but then later that night I was able to confess to her that really it came down to fear. I was afraid that things were not going to go well when I headed back to work! I apologized to Madelyn for letting fear get the better of me and promised to work on not letting that fear rule me. Then she surprised me by commenting that perhaps she could work on her fear of the pool too.

When her next swimming lesson came, we talked about conquering our fears again. I anxiously watched during her lesson for any sign of change and will admit that I was a little disappointed when I saw none. But then, at the very end of her class that day, as her instructor was trying to guide her across the pool on her back, Madelyn’s arm shot out of the pool in a balled up fist. She started shaking her fist and shouting, “NO FEAR! NO FEAR!” Her instructor looked a little bewildered as she climbed out of the pool after that. Madelyn reported that it had been a great class and that, the next week, she was going to jump in.

Sure enough – she did jump in the next time. AND did the back float all on her own. I caught it on video the second time:

Two weeks after that, Madelyn delayed when the instructor asked her to do her back float. I got a little nervous for her, thinking that maybe we were going to be taking two steps forward, one step back. It turns out that Madelyn was delaying because she was explaining to her instructor that she wanted to graduate to the next class and needed to know what she had to do. He explained that she would need to do her back and front floats unassisted, and Madelyn told him that she could. The instructor called the head coach over to observe and Madelyn graduated within two minutes. I was floored and near tears. It was absolutely amazing to see that happen, knowing the deep-seeded fears Madelyn had to conquer to get there.

I asked Madelyn afterward if she was nervous when she did her test for the head coach. She said she was not, but that instead she was “interested.” I asked her what made her “interested.” She replied, “Well – I wanted to see what would happen.” And if that didn’t just teach me a bunch of life lessons, I don’t know what will.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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2.2 Party

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 14:00:00 +0000

Sydney turned two on our first full day home from China, but it seemed most prudent to defer our family celebration of her birthday until a little later. I am thankful we made this decision because when the time came for the 2.2 (two years and two months) party, we were all more than ready.

Sydney loves “girly” things and dressing up, so a 2.2 tutu party seemed just the thing (and, yes, I was more than a little proud of that theme).

We started our day with balloons (family tradition!), followed by a doughnut picnic in the park.

Later in the afternoon, my mom took the girls to her house while Troy and I set up the table for our family dinner. When Sydney came home and saw the table, her reaction was off the charts! I wish I had thought to video her coming through the door, but I honestly did not think a two-year-old would even be capable of appreciating table decorations. She broke into the loudest oohs and ahhs that I have ever heard from her and she lovingly touched the table cloths, centerpieces, and balloons. That moment gave me a much deeper appreciation for Sydney’s budding capacity to see and hear true beauty in things.

The cake was similarly appreciated :)

For presents, we coordinated with our family to give Sydney some things that match Madelyn’s toys, such as a Barbie with a hair comb, and an electronic piano. It turns out that there may have been a reason my parents bought matching items for my sister and I . . . The pièce de résistance, however, was the baby doll, crib, and stroller Sydney received. The loud oohs and ahhs resurfaced and were soon re-echoed by every family member in the room. That little baby doll has been receiving loves from Sydney ever since.

Precious Miss Sydney, thank you for bringing extra smiles and little celebrations to our every day. We are so glad that we get to celebrate you!

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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Thankful

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 22:08:00 +0000

It is hard to believe that my summer away from work is coming to an end! We are in for another round of transitions as I head back to the office three days a week. Honestly, I am amazed at how much progress we have made in less than three months! My one goal for the summer was to learn how to be a mommy of two. I realize that the learning never stops, but I feel that the goal has been met in that a very strong foundation has been set. Even more so, I can hardly contain my excitement over the blooming sister bond between Madelyn and Sydney. Madelyn just informed me that she likes being a big sister so much that she would like to have yet another little sister. There were no words for that one (on so many levels...)

Watching Madelyn and Sydney play together touches me to the very core of my soul and fills me with an indescribable joy . Feeling very thankful for the blessing of being Mama to these two little girls.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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Movie Making

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Mon, 19 Aug 2013 15:15:00 +0000

Madelyn made her film directorial debut this summer! Please enjoy:

P.S. She has grand plans for a sequel – check out what she just spent her hard-earned money on:

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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Family Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 14:31:00 +0000

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but somehow this summer we actually settled into family-of-four routines. I don’t remember feeling settled so soon when Madelyn came home. Upon reflecting on that, I realized that is because Madelyn faced two major surgeries when she came home – cleft lip repair, and then palate repair. Madelyn bonded and attached very, very quickly (probably even more so than Sydney), but the settling-in happened after those surgeries when the nasal stents came out, arm casts came off, and normal diets resumed. I am so very thankful that we have had a space to find our new rhythm and to venture out and about at our own pace. A few of the highlights:

We spent Fourth of July attending family barbecues, and then headed for our super-secret parking spot to watch the City of Salem fireworks. The girls got a little antsy during the hour-long wait in the car for the show to start, but the oohs, aahs and wows prompted by the fireworks will forever be etched in Troy and I’s memories. That weekend, we joined some friends for Sydney’s first beach visit!

The first beach visit was so successful that we decided to head back for another day. Troy took a day off work on a day that weather.com promised sunshine and 80-degree weather at the Oregon Coast of all places! Weather.com was seriously misinformed, but we still had fun, especially when the candy store offered us samples of taffy fresh off the conveyor belt.

We attended our first Smile Oregon Walk, which will become an annual event for our family now. We have always enjoyed annual picnics with our adoption agency because they give the girls a chance to be surrounded with kids sharing a similar heritage. Smile Oregon gave the girls a rare chance to be surrounded with other kids with cleft lip and/or palate! Madelyn really, really enjoyed it, especially since she got to hang out with her surgeon, Dr. Kuang, whom she absolutely adores (and whom we greatly admire for all of her work both in and out of the hospital).

After the Smile Walk, we took a Portland Tram ride sponsored by the Children’s Museum. They asked kids to create their own trams, and Madelyn introduced SPIDER TRAM (see drawing below), which will likely be turned into a horror movie at a theater near you. Children’s Museum also gave all of the kids free Portland Tram kazoos, which are still making music to our ears.

Sydney thoroughly enjoyed her introduction to Children’s Museum through the tram ride, so we headed back the next weekend to experience the full deal.

Here is to a wonderful first summer as a family of four!

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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One Month Home (Part Two)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 15:00:00 +0000

Sydney

(This Part Two is a bit late as Sydney has now officially been an Olson on paper for two months now – she will have been home for two months at the end of this month!! Part One appeared here.)

Sydney’s first full day home also happened to be her second birthday! We didn’t do an official celebration (we are saving that for later), but we made sure there were balloons and cupcakes for her special day.

Several friends and family members brought us dinner during Sydney’s first weeks home and we will forever be grateful for that gift. It was interesting to watch Sydney during visits from family and friends. As soon as the doorbell rang, she would clamor into my arms and watch each visitor suspiciously. That has all changed now! She gets excited when the doorbell rings, and she likes to play with all visitors once she gets to know them.

Language was a REALLY big question mark for us when we first met Sydney. Alarm bells sounded in my mind when the orphanage staff told us that she wasn’t speaking, only listening. Now we know that was probably because of the astounding amount of hardened wax our pediatrician discovered in Sydney’s ears. Once that was extracted (NOT a fun process), Sydney began trying to mimic our sounds fairly regularly. She is not correctly articulating any words yet, but she is trying more and more every week. Her regular words include: Mama, Ma (for Madelyn), AaaEee (for Daddy) ball, hi, bye, yay, nanana (banana), chee (cheese - when smiling for the camera) and shoe. She has also learned the signs for more, eat, water, milk, napkin, help, open, brush teeth, book, and read. This is making communication go pretty smoothly! She loves watching Signing Time videos, and I am fairly certain that they are helping her to increase her comprehension, signs, AND oral communication. Doernbecher is waiting on any formal speech evaluation until Sydney has had at least six months with the English language. The surgery, ENT, dental, and audiology members of the Doernbecher craniofacial team saw Sydney for the first time just this week and gave us the fantastic news that she does not need any additional surgery at this time! Her next surgery will likely be the gumline repair around age 8 (Madelyn will have the same surgery when she turns 8). If speech does not develop, they will explore whether additional palate surgery is necessary (around age 4 or 5).

Getting to sleep continues to be one of Sydney’s main challenges at this time. She refused to be in her crib and demonstrated her refusal by diving out of the crib headfirst. She gave herself a black eye on her second dive out of the crib (we didn’t think she would try a second time!), so we promptly dismantled the crib and converted it to a low-to-the-ground toddler bed. But Sydney refuses to sleep there either, instead preferring the floor. We have tried spreading blankets for her to sleep on, but every morning we find her asleep on the carpet, next to her door. To try to make sleep come easier at night (it was about two hours of crying for Sydney at first), we decided to forego naps. This made sleep come a lot quicker at night, but it also made Sydney fairly grumpy after 2 pm. Now that crying at bedtime is down to about 15 minutes, we are trying the naps again and are pretty excited about how that improves the afternoons for everyone!

The gradual outpouring of Sydney’s personality is the most exciting thing we are experiencing. She is very, very affectionate and loves to give us hugs and cuddles. The way she lights up and goes running to Troy every day when he gets home from work never fails to make his day! She loves to dance to music – doing serious head bobs to fast music and arms swirls with her eyes closed for slow music. It’s hard to explain, but it is like she is truly FEELING the music. She claps and says “yay” whenever a song ends. If Sydney sees her headbands, socks or shoes, she automatically puts them on because she loves being fully dressed up and accessorized. She loves playing with dolls and gives them all hugs with gusto. If Madelyn ever leaves her Barbies laying within Sydney’s reach, she will grab them and brush their hair with a huge smile on her face (but also a wary eye to make sure her big sister isn’t watching). She is developing a seriously girly squeal to express her delight. The mostly serious expressions we saw in China have given way to smiles and a fantastic sense of humor.

Madelyn

I mentioned in Part One that Madelyn has had some regressions – that is normal and expected given everything that has changed in her life. What has been even more fascinating to me, however, is the amount of “growing up” Madelyn has done at the same time! Yes, there are some seriously bad moments with her sister. But there are also some very tender moments when Madelyn makes up a game for the two of them to play together, or tries to tickle Sydney just to make her laugh. When Madelyn is feeling particularly affectionate, she calls Sydney “Syd” and it is absolutely adorable. “Hey Syd! Want to play??”

The other element of growing up is the increasing amount of self-directed and independent play that Madelyn is doing. She has taken a huge interest in Legos all of a sudden, and likes to watch still motion videos of Lego projects with Troy. She would now like to purchase the Lego haunted house monster set to build with her Daddy. (Pink Legos are okay in her opinion, but apparently monsters sets are much much cooler.) We told her that she could work to earn the Lego set (it’s not cheap), and she has gotten down to business on that. When I told her I would pay for extra chores, she vacuumed out the car for a dollar. She did a fantastic job, but told me she would charge me four dollars next time (a quick learner!). She has also done some work for her grandparents which she thoroughly enjoys because their pay rate is a lot better than her mommy and daddy’s.

Madelyn has also spontaneously started enjoying art projects and can frequently be found with a pad of paper and colored pencils. Her last drawing of a rocketship was extremely impressive for a little kid who not too long ago only drew smiley faces.

Madelyn has never taken much of an interest in frilly things. She cries when I ask her to wear a dress and prefers her converse high top tennis shoes to her sandals, even in the hot weather. Her dolls have mostly been untouched in three years. That changed when Sydney came home though! As soon as Madelyn observed Sydney loving on her dolls, Madelyn claimed that her dolls were now her favorite toys. She makes sure that she occasionally plays with them now to prove her point.

Madelyn got the very special opportunity to fly with her Nana and Papa to be a flower girl in my cousin’s wedding. I was nervous about how this would go so soon from Sydney coming home, but it ended up being a fantastic thing for both Madelyn and Sydney. Madelyn was very proud of the “grown up” adventure. And Sydney started to miss her sister badly while she was gone and took a very positive turn in her relationship with Madelyn when Madelyn got home.

I cannot even begin to explain how proud I am of both my girls. They have endured massive change in the last month, and they both are learning and blossoming in the midst of it all!

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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One Month Home (Part One)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Fri, 05 Jul 2013 22:53:00 +0000

It’s hard to believe that we have been together as a family of four for a little over a month now. Troy and I are honestly very, very tired. It takes an astounding amount of work to help a two-year-old and four-year-old learn to be sisters. But, at the same time, we are absolutely amazed at all of the progress Madelyn and Sydney made in just one month.

We have gone from this:

To this:

I don’t want to mislead anyone – it is not giggles and grins all the time around here. But at least we are getting some laughs and smiles out of both girls at the same time! That did not happen the first two weeks. They spent most of the first two weeks being extremely territorial over me – I was so wishing I had four arms and two laps to get through that time. There were a lot of tears by all three of us as I tried to show them how loved each of them are. Madelyn also felt rejected by Sydney, similar to my feelings the first week in China. It actually made me glad for that experience so that I could share it with Madelyn. Madelyn struggled, however, with wanting to act like a two-year-old rather than a four-year-old whenever she saw Sydney getting attention (understandable and completely normal behavior for a little one adjusting to a new sibling, whether biological or adopted). The first time Sydney tried to give Madelyn a kiss, Madelyn started screaming and writhing on the floor – Sydney was not the one she wanted to receive attention from.

Once Troy and I recovered from jet lag (which actually took about two weeks - thank you SO much to everyone who brought us meals during those weeks!!), we started being more intentional about planning activities for Madelyn and Sydney to interact and the progress noticeably began.

Now (not all the time, but sometimes), Madelyn and Sydney will play in the same room together without Troy or I hovering to keep the peace. They like to squeal very loudly together and they like to sing together (Sydney adopted Madelyn’s favorite car song – When The Saints Go Marching In – as well as Madelyn’s favorite YouTube song – the Hallelujah Chorus). I have even caught them holding hands a few times! Of course, Madelyn will still go nuts if Sydney touches something that Madelyn contemplated using at any point during the day and Sydney absolutely refuses to accept food or drink if Madelyn hands it to her. And they are both still aggressively territorial over their Mama sometimes. So, there is progress still to be made...

What I can’t believe though is how much it warms my heart whenever I see them interacting together – even if the peace is tenuous. It is a constant source of sunshine for my soul. I can hardly believe how blessed I am by my two daughters, and I feel so privileged to be their Mama.

There is a lot more that I can update about Madelyn and Sydney individually – so stay tuned for Part Two!

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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Family of Four

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 04:00:00 +0000

The much-dreaded flight home ended up being pretty easy all things considered. We anticipated that Troy would be on duty most of the time since Sydney was not comfortable with me on public transportation. Sydney once again announced that fear (screamed it, actually) to the entire Guangzhou train station, and to the entire Hong Kong station, when I had to hold her so that Troy could maneuver all of our suitcases on and off the trains. But the trust factor miraculously clicked the morning of our flight and I had the privilege of holding Sydney for most of our two flights! She is not the typical active two-year old yet (we will work on that!) and was actually content just to sit on our laps, eat snacks, and watch movies. She slept for almost half of the long flight, and was only restless for about an hour before her normal bedtime.

When we arrived at PDX, we had a long US Customs line to wait in, and then another wait for the Immigration office to process Sydney's papers. About an hour after landing, Sydney was officially a US Citizen! Then we gathered our luggage and headed for the gate. Tears were in my eyes as as soon as I saw Madelyn's sweet face - she was holding a sign with the name "Sydney" on it. I will never EVER forget that moment.

I think the following pictures speak for themselves on what followed. Our longtime friend, Wendee Schmitke, was there to capture the moment and we will be forever thankful. Wendee is already a talented photographer of her own family and has just recently started her own photography business, so please let us know if you want her contact info! The sisters' first meeting was pretty tentative, but tender and precious. We are so overjoyed to finally be a family of four.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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China - Day 9 (Guangzhou)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Wed, 29 May 2013 05:21:00 +0000

Today was our visa oath taking ceremony. This meant a trip to the US Consulate office so that we could swear to the authenticity of all of the documents that have been collecting in Sydney's file. They added the medical records from Saturday's medical appointment to our file and will be issuing Sydney's immigration visa tomorrow.

I got to spend a few glorious hours in the afternoon with Sydney hugging on me and even napping on me! After my struggles yesterday, this was a HUGE blessing that I did not take for granted.

In the morning and evening, though, Sydney needed her Daddy. Interestingly, van/bus rides seem to be a trigger for Sydney wanting nothing to do with me - she will currently only let Troy hold her on moving vehicles. We are wondering if perhaps this stems from Sydney's last few moments with the orphanage staff, when they quickly passed her into my arms in our van, and then climbed into their own van to leave while she was screaming for them. It might take us a while to work to lessen the impact of that trauma. For the time being, we are making sure that Troy holds onto her when boarding all vehicles and we are very, very curious to see what happens when we introduce her to a carseat at home (there are none here - she just sits on our lap/stands).

We ended our evening with a beautiful dinner cruise on the Pearl River. Our adoption agency suggested that we skip the dinner offered by the cruise line and instead arranged for Papa John's pizza to deliver to our entire group on the boat. I got to visit with several more moms in our group (and I also got to add to my growing collection of bug bites despite applying bug spray twice - I've lost count how many I have now). Troy and Sydney paced the deck and took in the sights (Sydney considers a boat a moving vehicle too). It was honestly a fantastic evening for all of us.

China - Day 8 (Guangzhou)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Tue, 28 May 2013 14:25:00 +0000

Today was a hard day, but I think it was moreso for me than for Sydney. Ever since the playroom incident on Day 6, Sydney has clung to Troy and needed to have him near. When she is in a playing mode, she is fine with either of us. Other than that, she wants to have Troy with her. If she is upset, she only gets more upset when I try to comfort her and she pushes me away. Although I know and understand that this is a very common part of the attachment process in adoption, it doesn't prevent me from feeling a little despair as a Mom. Madelyn attached to me first and has always looked to me for comfort. Having Madelyn tell me this morning how much she missed me and blow me kisses via Skype only underscored how much I have been yearning in my heart to have a little piece of that from Sydney too over the last few days.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the time will come for Sydney to look to me for comfort too - I just felt important to put my feelings as they are right now into words. I don't think I am the only adoptive Mom who has been in this place and it seems important to acknowlege that it hurts in the heart even when the mind completely understands what is going on.

The events of the day started with the Baiyun moutain tour, which consisted of a cable car ride, peacock viewing, rabbit petting, and a parrot show. The parrots played basketball, musical instruments, and even roller skated for us. We were drenched in sweat at the end of the two-hour tour and ready to get back to the hotel!

The pool sounded like a really good option when we got back, so we decided to see how Sydney liked the water. She absolutely LOVED splashing around with Daddy and even tried to put her face in the water twice!

We ended the evening with a group dinner. Our adoption agency staff ordered for us, so we do actually know exactly what we ate: fried noodles, broccoli, barbecue pork, beef and mushrooms, green beans, and chicken and peppers, plus watermelon for dessert. We were all craving something a little sweet when we finished, so we all stopped at the McDonalds by our hotel for milkshakes and ice cream cones before calling it a night. Sydney was more interested in her cone than the ice cream. She squeezed out the ice cream and then ate the cone. Don't worry - I have a feeling big sister will show her how to eat an ice cream cone soon enough. We might just have to make a trip for ice cream cones on our first weekend home!

China - Day 7 (Guangzhou)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sun, 26 May 2013 14:09:00 +0000

We have SOUND!! It was only a few sounds ("aay," "ee," and "uh"), but we are so thrilled just to hear her little voice after three days of silence!

Sydney was tentative with us again this morning, wanting to make sure that Troy was holding her at all times again, and hardly eating any of her breakfast. She tightly hung on to her pork steamed bun in one hand and pork dumpling in the other for all morning, but still managed to eat only half of each. We took a bus with the other families in our group to Shamian Island, where our hotel was located when we were in Guangzhou for Madelyn's adoption. The shops were all familiar to us, so we quickly finished our souvenier shopping. Sydney purchased a toy cell phone that is loud and annoying, but she loves it so we will wait until we get home to "lose" the batteries for it. Tricia also did some shoe shopping for Sydney, which proved to be sufficient to loosen Sydney's grip on Troy just a little (and also proved that Sydney was meant to be an Olson girl - wait until she sees the shoe options at the Nordstrom anniversary sale!) We emerged from the shop with a very frilly version of squeaky shoes that Sydney wanted to wear right away. She loved them so much that she actually wanted to walk and hear them instead of be carried!

Back at the hotel, we got takeout congee for Sydney's lunch. She was so excited to see her bib come out, that she put her toys away (yes - she carefully puts her toys away in a neat little row - it is completely amazing) and came running. After lunch, we spent time just playing peekabo, tickle, etc. That was when the sounds began to come out - along with more pieces of her personality! What emerged was a little princess. She picked a dress out to wear instead of the pants she had on, wanted to wear her flower headband again, and admired the ensemble in the mirror when it was all on. We rented a stroller to use and, based on Sydney's reaction, you would have thought it was Cinderella's carriage. She insisted on sitting in it even in the hotel room, until we finally had to fold it up and put it away at bed time. We promised her there would be lots of rides tomorrow.

For dinner, we joined another family and decided to try one of the local restaurants. I don't know exactly what kind of meat we had (pretty sure it was pork) because we were guessing with the menu, but it was a great dinner. Sydney ate more than she had all day, and especially liked the green beans and zuchinni (which were fantastic dishes in our opinion too). Sydney even tried the spicy noodles, which seem to have cleared her sinuses and forced her to drink a lot of water. We thought one bite would be enough for her, but she went back for seconds and thirds, with lots of eye watering and nose running!

Overall, we felt like we made some progress today. There were still tears - especially when we got on the bus and throughout the morning whenever Troy was out of Sydney's sight. But there was also some very encouraging two-year old behavior such as a little boundary testing and picking out her own clothes. She rejected the bottle today and used (or tried to use) a sippy cup all day. She even let us brush her teeth! We are excited for tomorrow, when we will do a short half day tour of the Baiyun Mountain area and then spend the rest of the day at the hotel followed by a group dinner. With each day, we anticipate setbacks and progress. It is all a part of the process!

Also, just for fun, we tried a Red Bean Green Tea Frappuccino at Starbucks today (not bad, but way to sweet for our taste). We did not, however, try the food massage...

China – Day 6 (Guangzhou)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sat, 25 May 2013 22:25:00 +0000

Today started off with a Skype session for Madelyn and Sydney! Madelyn was such an awesome big sister – she blew kisses, tried to make Sydney laugh, reminded us not to give Sydney too much food at once (or it might come out her nose), and introduced Sydney to each of her Disney character toys one by one.

Then it was off to sample the breakfast buffet and find out what kind of a breakfast eater Sydney is. We didn't have much success with round one, consisting of predictable tries such as scrambled eggs, yogurt, and cheese. We had a lot of success with round two though – steamed pork dumplings, bananas, and chocolate muffin. She actually put the chocolate muffin inside her pork dumpling and enjoyed them together!

(Notice that green stacking cup is still traveling with us - Sydney even slept with it!)

Then it was off to our visa medical appointment, required of every child before issuance of a visa to come to the United States. We started with the simplest of the procedures, the photograph. Even that part scared Sydney because we were asked to put her in a chair for her photo. Not surprisingly, she started sobbing as soon as we put her down and clamored out of the chair to go back to us. They ended up letting Tricia hold her and duck out of sight for the picture. The same was true of all the medical checks – Sydney wouldn't even let us put her feet down on the scale for fear we would let go. Between doctor exams, however, we did discover that she likes the Target brand sweet potato puffs that we brought with us. After she finished them, she clung to the empty snack bag like it was a treasure for the rest of the day.

(Red stacking cup got a short run in the afternoon AND Sydney was willing to walk outside with us holding her hands for a while.)

Back at the hotel, Troy managed to get a few official giggles out of Sydney by flying her through the air. It was so good to hear that sound come out of her. We have a video of it, but it will have to wait until we get home as it won't upload.

Later in the afternoon, Tricia had a two-hour paperwork appointment with our adoption agency. Troy and Sydney headed to the playroom at the hotel. As soon as Troy set Sydney down, however, she went into panic mode and started screaming. Troy said he would describe her emotions at that particular moment as pure fear. Our best guess is that perhaps the setting reminded Sydney of the orphanage play room. Sydney eventually calmed down, but the rest of the day was hard for her. She refuses to let Troy out of her sight now. Every time he leaves the room, even to go the bathroom, she starts to cry. It is the saddest little cry ever and makes us yearn for the day when she will understand that we won't leave her.

We are hopeful with the giggles and so very saddened by the losses she is grieving. We know that the process of trust-building and attachment takes time and are not expecting an overnight change in Sydney. We just can't help but want her to experience happiness and are looking for every opportunity throughout the day for her to have a little piece of joy.

China - Day 5 (Travel to Guangzhou)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sat, 25 May 2013 04:50:00 +0000

Quick note -- photo albums are now up on Picasa.

Here is the link for the pictures of Sydney that the Blue Sky healing home gave us:

https://picasaweb.google.com/112430018580475115354/SydneyBlueSky?authuser=0&feat=directlink

And here are the current pictures from our trip, which should be updated daily:

https://picasaweb.google.com/112430018580475115354/China02?authuser=0&feat=directlink

Today was another travel day as we head to Guangzhou to wait for Sydney's visa to the United States. We have yet to meet the other families in our adoption agency's travel group (there are seven total) because our adoption day was much much later than all of the other families, all of whom were already in their children's provinces by the time we arrived in Beijing. Our stay in Sydney's province was extremely short because Sydney's orphanage secured her Chinese passport prior to our arrival in China – this is not typical of most provinces. With Madelyn's adoption, we had to wait five days for her Chinese passport before we could fly to Guangzhou.

We were very nervous about the flight to Guangzhou given that Sydney had been with us less than 24 hours and we had absolutely no idea how she would react. Amazingly, she decided to take her bottle shortly before take-off and merely raised her eyebrows when take-off happened. She let us hold her the entire time and was utterly transfixed by the television screens in the plane. Unfortunately, the televisions were playing a completely non-family-friendly Chinese warrior movie. We tried our best to shield Sydney but the screens were overhead without controls for turning on/off and she was WAY to curious for us to thwart her attempts to see for three hours. There was lots of eyebrow raising on Sydney's part during the sword fights, but other than that not a peep out of her.

Once in Guangzhou, we took a little time to settle into our room since we will be here for a week. Sydney actually let us put her down for a while and walked around the room on her own before sitting down to play with her stacking cups. (The green stacking cup and her doll now currently go EVERYWHERE with us.) She did have one random moment in the middle of smiling and playing catch with Troy when she suddenly paused and broke into uncontrollable sobs. She curled into a little ball and wouldn't let us touch her so we just laid down beside her until she let us pick her up and hold and hug her.

After we were settled, we decided to try to walk to one of the recommended local Chinese restaurants. At that point, Sydney got a true initiation into the Olson family. Being the lifetime Willamette Valley residents that we are, we were sweating buckets within five minutes of being outdoors in the Guangzhou weather. Then, of course, we got lost. Anyone who followed our Europe travels over the last few years knows that we ALWAYS get lost at least five to seven times when traveling internationally. We didn't read the map correctly this time and it took us 45 minutes to make the 10 minute walk to the restaurant. Sydney's look about half way through the walk told us that she is now certain she is in the company of crazy people. She is also not crazy about sweat – so we are pretty sure that she will like the Willamette Valley weather. She was a big fan of dinner though: barbecue spare ribs, green beans, and congee.

At bedtime, Sydney cried with the crib again, so Tricia held her and rocked her. We are wondering if this may be part of her typical routine because after a while she just twisted around and looked up at Tricia and told her she was done (without using any words). Tricia put her back in the crib and she went right to sleep. Sydney does seem to appreciate routines, so we are doing our very best to figure them out. So far, in addition to the bed time routine, it seems that she is particular about not drinking before breakfast and drinking only milk in the morning and only water in the evening.

Still no words or sounds yet from Sydney – although Troy is insistent that she said “Mama” when Tricia left to use the bathroom. Sydney's smile so far is just a small curl on one side of her lip, and we are itching to earn a full smile from her someday soon. We love her willingness to cuddle with us and appreciate all of the prayers that we can continue to keep building her trust in us as parents!

(Just for fun -- here are a few pictures from the previous day that we didn't get a chance to put on the last post)

China – Day 4 (Shijiazhuang) – ADOPTION DAY!!

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:32:00 +0000

We were scheduled to meet Sydney for the first time today at 2 PM. However, the anticipation for that moment began a little earlier, as we had an appointment at the notary office at 9 AM, after which we went back to the hotel to wait...and wait...and wait. After the experience we had with Madelyn where we barely had time to put our bags in our hotel room before she was placed in our arms, we weren't quite ready for the nervousness and anxiety that comes with sitting in a hotel room waiting for it to be 1:30 PM.

Of course, the time did eventually arrive. We went to the office where we were to sign all of the papers and finally meet Sydney, but unfortunately, after the papers were signed there was MORE waiting, as Sydney's ride was a bit late.

Then, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time, there she was!

She clutched fiercely to her caregiver and wouldn't let go at first. When she was finally put in Tricia's arms, Sydney put on a brave face and visibly held back her tears. After we heard the stories of how hard she cried when she left the Blue Sky Healing Home, we were expecting the worst in terms of her reaction here. While clutching a roll in one hand (exactly like Madelyn!) and a stuffed animal in the other, she eventually broke down into uncontrollable sobs. She did her best not to let us have eye contact by turning her head away from us and using her stuffed animal as a barrier. When we got into our vehicle, the sobs turned to sobbing and Sydney tried to lunge away from us and back to her caregiver. She spent the entire car ride back to the hotel screaming and trying to climb away from us. It was heartbreaking but also good to see the emotions pouring out of her.

When we got out of the car and started walking into the hotel, Sydney's curiosity got the best of her and the tears suddenly stopped as she went into high alert mode, taking in everything. Once up to our room, she was quick to begin playing with her stacking cups (which we are convinced is the ultimate adoption ice breaker – it worked wonders with Madelyn as well) and seemed very comfortable sitting in Tricia's lap for a while.

She eventually ate some rolls and we tried to give her some milk, but she wasn't drinking it out of the straw (as we expected). We tried in a hard top sippy cup, but no luck, as she tried to bite down on the lid. So Troy went across the street and picked up a soft top bottle from the store, which helped a little more, but Sydney was still struggling to use it.

So, one last trip over to the store, this time with Sydney with us, so she could pick out the bottle she preferred. Afterwards, we headed to KFC for some dinner (the only restaurant within close distance to our hotel). Sydney clearly did not like the mashed potatoes (they came out of her mouth as fast as they were spooned in), but loved her chicken nuggets, holding a bite in each hand and then putting it in her mouth one after the other. She drew a lot of attention and smiles from fellow diners. We SO wished we knew what they were saying to us – several of them kept talking even after it became clear that we couldn't talk back to them.

We ended the night back in the hotel room. Sydney was fine with most of the nighttime ritual such as diaper change and pajamas, but the crib was a game changer. The screaming restarted and she pushed our hands away from her again. We tried letting her sleep on the bed and laid down with her, but it didn't help. Finally, she soothed when Tricia rocked her baby style. She allowed us to put her back in the crib and even reached out once to touch our hands gently before going to sleep. She is currently sprawled on her back, sawing logs clutching the side of the crib for dear life and hanging on to the doll we gave her.

Even through all the sadness and fear, Sydney's individual little personality shone through today. We are pretty sure she is a snuggler when comfortable and the way that she treats her baby doll with hugs and tenderness touched us to the core. She loves to look at the pictures we take on the camera and point repeatedly to each one of us: Mama, Baba, Jia Hong . . . Mama, Baba, Jia Hong. She is not using any verbal words at all, but she seems to comprehend these three words when we say them. The orphanage caregiver told us that she is not saying any words other than Mama, which seemed a bit curious to us. She walked a few times when set her down, but she preferred to be held the entire evening. She is very tactile and likes to touch everything by gently running her hands over it to explore. We are so excited to start slowly peeling away her protective layers and see more of Sydney Jiahong!

China – Day 2 (Beijing)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Wed, 22 May 2013 14:00:00 +0000

Our second day in Beijing was our most-anticipated. Our driver returned and took us to Blue Sky Healing Home, where Sydney stayed while she had her cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries (from when she was six months old to when she was thirteen months old). They immediately presented us with a thumbdrive full of pictures from Sydney's stay with them. Our favorite was from their celebration of her first birthday and a series of pictures involving a giant hair bow.

We were incredibly blessed to spend two hours visiting with both the volunteer coordinator (who speaks English) and the doctor who manages the house and oversees the care of all of the children. The doctor is pictured on the left and the volunteer coordinator on the right. We are standing in front of one of their walls of pictures of their children, including Sydney!

We learned that Sydney had pneumonia when she first arrived, but recovered quickly. They described Sydney as very brave, and with a lot of character such that she managed to get herself LOTS of attention. We also learned that she loved to be held and attached so much to one caregiver in particular that both the caregiver and Sydney were sobbing on the day of her departure to return to the orphanage. (That caregiver is no longer at Blue Sky, so we did not get to meet her.) They described it as a very hard day. It broke our hearts.

We showed them the updated pictures we just received of Sydney and they implored us to send more as she grows up – which we will of course do! They were also very candid about how their healing home works and we found the information fascinating. There are several expatriates who live near the healing home and come to help teach English to both the children and the caregivers (many of whom are young women age 16 to 18 from the countryside). There are also a lot of volunteers who come to stay for a few weeks or a month and do the same. This is something we would love to do in the future if possible!

We left with several new dear friends in China who we will forever be grateful to. They consider Sydney a part of their family and we consider them a part of our family.

We spent the rest of the day pampering ourselves a little as we prepare to head to Shijiazhuang and wait for Sydney's adoption day. We tried Beijing's famous roast duck dish, and it was honestly fabulous. We watched them carve and serve half a duck, which they served with thin pancake wrappers, dipping sauce, and a soup. The menu was a little intimidating to order from without a guide, but it looked like we ended up with the same dishes that most of our fellow Chinese diners ordered. We noticed many of the diners laughing at our sorry attempt to use the chopsticks throughout our entire meal. Our server took pity on us, though, and graciously offered through gestures to show us how to wrap the roast duck in the pancakes for eating.

The day ended with a foot massage. Thank you, Eric, for telling us about this foot massage place when we were here three years ago. Angel and Shannon – the foot massage was just as heavenly as last time and we left feeling like we were walking on pillows. Still full from all of the roast duck, our dinner consisted of the upscale Chinese version of Haagen-Dazs. Our hotel is located in a high-end shopping area complete with a Chanel store, and Rolls Royce, Maseratti, and Ferrari dealerships. So the Haagen-Dazs caters to the same clientele. We walked in and were seated with menus. They served our ice cream in the shape of a blooming flower arrangement with tea and coffee service. Not too shabby!

China – Day 1 (Beijing)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:08:00 +0000

After days of packing and checking lists, then 14 hours in the air and a 3-hour layover in Tokyo, we finally arrived in Beijing! Thanks to the movies/tv shows/e-books we brought, the time passed fairly quickly. When we collected our luggage in Beijing, we watched everyone struggling to find carts to pile their luggage on and were glad for our last minute decision to pare down our luggage and go with just two checked bags and one carry-on that can be worn as a backpack. We wanted to make sure that we could easily carry Sydney and our luggage when we are traveling within China! When we adopted Madelyn, we struggled to get around with four large suitcases while carrying her.

A guide and driver picked us up and took us to the hotel where our China cell phone and documents from Holt were waiting for us. The packet contained a few updated photos of Sydney!!! There were updated measurements too, putting her at just under 20 pounds (which is small, but not much different from Madelyn).

By the time we got to the hotel, it was midnight. Determined to get ourselves on China time as fast as we could, we dragged ourselves out of bed at 6 am the following morning and prepped for a full court press of China sightseeing. Tricia's breakfast of champions included dumplings, bok choy and mushrooms and Troy's included Kix cereal and chocolate waffles.

Our guide, Lily, and the driver returned after breakfast and we were off. First up was the Summer Palace followed by a shopping stop to get a jade chop (a stamp set) with Sydney's name engraved on it to match one we purchased in Beijing for Madelyn three years ago. Next was lunch where Lily ordered for us: noodles with bean paste, kung pao chicken, soup, cabbage and eggs, and a platter of cherry tomatoes and watermelon for dessert. Kung pao chicken at home is now forever ruined for us because the authentic dish is 10,000 times better. We then visited the Temple of Heaven. It was fantastic to have one-on-one time with Lily for the entire day. Not only did she walk us through the history and culture of all the sights we visited, but she was also very open to talking with us about our questions regarding Chinese culture, her impressions of America, and her own life. She had questions for us as well about adoption and our lives.

Having a private driver was also fantastic! Driving is an art form in Beijing – especially left turns. The drivers wanting to make left turns start crowding together until there are enough of them to overtake the oncoming traffic and force them to stop. Light signals are mostly ignored, emergency and police vehicles are even more ignored, and traffic lanes appear to be suggestion lines. For pedestrians, imagine a live game of Frogger and you will get the picture.

Throughout the day, we received four common remarks from people who visited with us:

We seem really young. (People guess about ten years below our actual age.)
Tricia's skin is really pale.
We seem really happy.
We are lucky to have two such beautiful daughters.

We laughed with everyone over the first two comments, and wholeheartedly agreed with the last two.

We ended our day with a Chinese acrobatics show. The pictures don't do it justice, but the performance they put on was AWE-mazing. The highlights were a male acrobat who balanced on a set of chairs stacked 40-feet tall, a group of 10 female acrobats who did a series of acts while riding and balancing on a single bicycle, and the finale, which eventually had 8 motorcycle riders doing stunts while inside a small spherical metal cage (we seriously feared for their lives).

After Lily and our driver returned us to our hotel, we went to the hotel restaurant for a quick dinner. The restaurant was billed as a Chinese French restaurant and piqued our curiosity. Their menu, which highlighted several different types of pizza, seemed more Italian, but they did have French wine on the menu!

We dragged ourselves back to our room at 9 pm and were asleep in about 5 minutes – I'd say our plan to get on China time was a success!

March 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sat, 18 May 2013 02:36:00 +0000

In March, we had a play date with Owen and Ava at the Portland Children's Museum. We are very excited for Ava and Sydney to meet. While Owen and Madelyn are just two-and-a-half months apart in age, Ava and Sydney are only two weeks apart!

Our day at the museum happened to coincide with OHSU’s dental school visit to teach kids about the importance of tooth health. This included a live performance where they asked for volunteers to use a giant toothbrush to brush the giant tooth. Much to our surprise, Madelyn raised her hand and then went up and participated (she NEVER does this).

Later on, Madelyn got a face-painting of a tooth and then her and Owen did some teeth painting of their own.

The next play date of the month was with Ainsley at Super Bounce, which recently opened in Salem. The girls both loved it!

This month we learned why Madelyn repeatedly asks us for a Dutch Brothers apple juice. After months of “not todays,” we went to see what all the fuss was about (apparently it is a treat she gets with Nana). Turns out it wasn’t just apple juice - it was apple juice in a fancy windmill cup and a straw topped with whipped cream. This HAS to be the reason that there are cars lined up at Dutch Brothers every morning, blocking traffic!!

In this month’s visit to Auntie Ning Ning’s classroom, Madelyn learned to use oil pastels with the fourth graders. She was very, very serious about her project and worked on it for almost the entire art class period.

While I was away in Austin, TX for a work trip, Madelyn and Tricia made sure to send me pictures of their culinary treats. These included Madelyn’s self-described “Rainbow Plate” (tomatoes, eggs, oranges, bananas, strawberries, tofu egg, and celery) …

.. as well as her usual bowl of gummies with a side of yogurt.

I sent a picture of my culinary treats too:

Later, Tricia and Madelyn performed a blind taste test on Madelyn’s snacks (Madelyn’s idea). However, according to Tricia, Madelyn totally cheated and peaked out the bottom of the blindfold the entire time (though still feigned innocence on the matter).

Madelyn and Tricia joined Great Grandma Carlisle, Auntie Ning Ning, and cousins Brianna and Giorgi for a My Fair Lady Night, where they watched the movie and ate dinner. My Fair Lady Nights were a regular childhood tradition for Tricia and Auntie Ning Ning with Grandpa and Grandma Carlisle. Madelyn obviously enjoyed the tradition as well - she re-enacted scenes and song snippets from the movie for several days after.

We found a new favorite Chinese restaurant to eat at in Salem this month! China Gourmet (on Broadway, in the same building Willamette Burger Company once occupied). We’ve been back several times since (Madelyn requests it every time we offer her the choice to choose where we eat), with Madelyn choosing to eat the dumplings each time.

We closed out the month with Easter. There was egg painting,

an Easter egg hunt at our house, complete with some modeling in the grass,

and then our traditional Easter dinner and egg hunt at Great Grandma and Grandpa Carlisle’s house.

(Coolest bubble machine in the world courtesy of Auntie Ning Ning and Uncle Dew.)

- Troy Olson, 2013

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Madelyn’s 4th Birthday (February 2013)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Thu, 16 May 2013 13:00:00 +0000

The big event of February was Madelyn turning four!

The festivities began with some exciting presents from Tricia and I. These included a series of Ladybug Girl books along with a Ladybug Girl outfit, a cash register, and a new camera.

Madelyn has gotten quite handy with the special effects on her camera -- you can see the album of her handiwork here, https://picasaweb.google.com/112430018580475115354/MadelynSPictures# (the pictures she has taken with her new camera start with picture 47), my favorites being the ones like:

and

Madelyn’s birthday party was at Scotty’s Playhouse. Tricia made strawberry cupcakes (yes made, not bought!) and tied a “balloon” theme in to everything -- notice how all of the food is round (even the cheese)! The strawberry cupcakes become very important - so remember those.

Madelyn got to spend the afternoon running and climbing in the play structure with her friends (and a even a few of the parents) , enjoying sugary treats, and opening presents.

We made several attempts at a group photo. I kind of love the unplanned symmetry of the first picture with each pair of siblings and Madelyn in the middle. Ainsley and Owen missed the group pic but were thankfully available for a standalone shot with their balloons and the birthday girl.

That weekend we also made a special trip to Limeberry for some yogurt, or in Madelyn’s case, some gummy treats on top of a small amount of yogurt. Gummy worms, bears, and butterflies were the order of the day.

The following week, we had an extra special birthday celebration for Madelyn with Great Grandma Carlisle, who had planned to attend the Scotty's Playhouse party but ended up in an unexpected hospital stay! Madelyn brought her typically exuberant attitude to the hospital, performing magic shows, playing games, and reading books with her Great Grandma and Grandpa. We are very grateful for everyone's prayers and for Great Grandma's fast recovery during that time.

Finally, as mentioned earlier, the strawberry cupcakes became a crucial component of Madelyn's birthday week. On the way home from Scotty's Playhouse (after a long day of playing with no nap and lots of sugar), Madelyn suddenly broke down into inconsolable tears and exclaimed that we had forgotten that she had wanted strawberry CAKE for her birthday and that cupcakes were NOT cake! Never mind that Tricia had done a trial run of the cupcakes a week before the party to confirm Madelyn's dessert choice, Madelyn was insistent that we had forgotten the ONE thing she had requested for her party. Fortunately, Tricia was able to salvage the cupcakes' reputation with the suggestion that the leftovers be used as giant tea party cakes! Throw in a crown and then some sugar cookies and we had a VERY happy ending.

- Troy Olson, 2013

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February 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Wed, 15 May 2013 00:07:00 +0000

February began with a visit to Auntie Ning Ning’s class, where Madelyn got to help her students learn about Chinese New Year. They made a Chinese New Year craft, Madelyn passed out red envelope treats, and Auntie Ning Ning helped Madeyn make a GIANT butterfly.

Madelyn also tried to teach the kids something, by telling them how to say “watermelon” in Chinese. This created a bit of a surprise for Tricia, as she had no idea that Madelyn actually knew how to say it (“xigua”, pronounced “she-gwah”, in case you are curious). I guess thanks go to Ni Hao, Kai-Lan for this one :)

For Chinese New Year, we went to Portland for the Chinese New Year Festival, where we were able to see several of the dragon dance teams perform. Madelyn was probably most excited for her bunny rabbit balloon animal, though. Since it is the Year of the Snake, she also took the time to cut-out and glue a snake craft.

Chinese New Year festivities continued with a family dinner at Marco Polo

Next up, Madelyn and I got to have a fun trip to the Portland Children’s Museum by ourselves while Tricia attended a work conference in Portland. It was the first day of their new exhibit about reading and Madelyn enjoyed all of the props that were set out for her to play with.

For Valentine's Day, Madelyn got to make a special trip to target to get some necessities -- a new lamp for her room and, or course, some popsicles.

Finally, after seeing Tricia get her hair shampooed every time they go in to get their hair cut, Madelyn asked for the same treatment. Madelyn and I often pretend to do this when we wash her hair during bathtime (even going so far as to have small talk about our day while I rinsed out her hair), but doing the real thing was quite an exciting big-girl experience for her.

- Troy Olson, 2013

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January 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Mon, 13 May 2013 20:01:00 +0000

Hey there, it’s Troy, taking over the writing for a few days to get us caught up on 2013 while Tricia gets us packed and organized because…WE ARE LEAVING FOR CHINA AT THE END OF THIS WEEK! Sydney's adoption day will be May 23!!

Let me start by saying that I am still in awe of Tricia’s ability to actually write a post per week for 2012. That takes a ton of effort to actually follow through on (I would have got about 6 weeks in before I likely quit) and I think it made the blog significantly better. I won’t be going as in-depth as she did in these next few posts, but I will do my best to keep in line with her level of quality :)

It was time for swimming lessons to start up again. We ended up switching to the Courthouse for our lessons, as they were offering 1-hour classes, instead of just 30-minute ones, plus it’s an ongoing class, instead of just a set number of weeks.

With the new class comes new fashion statements as well, such as awesome purple goggles (here being worn elegantly upside-down).

There has been some great progress over the last few months in her front and back floats. She is mostly comfortable on her back (though recoils a bit when the instructor takes his hand off of her back) while she is starting to blow bubbles and only need to hold onto the kickboard (instead of laying entirely on it) while on her front.

Of course, her favorite time is still the last few minutes of class where she gets to put on noodles and other various floatation devices and go wild in the water (though this picture doesn’t show it so much -- she’s lately been doing belly-flops into the pool with squeals of glee).

Another highlight of the month was getting to enjoy all of Madelyn’s new Christmas gifts with her, whether that be her new floor puzzle (which, and yes I’m bragging, she can now do in about 5 minutes -- already time to move on from a 48-piece puzzle) or making a blanket fort with her ladybug dream light serving as the stars.

Ainsley came over to have an art playdate with Madelyn. There was painting and crafts, including making snowmen with marshmallows (I’m guessing the two of them found a way to sneak a fair share of the marshmallows into their mouths as well).

Finally, we attended two birthday celebrations for the month, one for Great Grandma Agnes and one for Great Grandpa Carlisle. If you ever need entertainment at your birthday party, I highly suggest borrowing Madelyn for the day, as she always is excited and energetic at anyone’s birthday party.

- Troy Olson, 2013

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Article 5

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:06:00 +0000

In a roller coaster of events, we received our Article 5 letter! The answer to our agency’s inquiries about the delay was that the US Consulate requested more information regarding Sydney’s file. Our agency explained that there was absolutely nothing we could do about it - we would simply have to wait for the appropriate Chinese government offices to provide the information, which usually took up to a week or two. And then the next day, our agency received the call that our Article 5 was issued!

You would think that I was jumping for joy. Well, yes, I was. But then, the most terrible sort of fears suddenly washed over me. We are not in the clear for the May travel group yet - the travel approval document still has to issue. What if that doesn’t happen in time? My entire being was raw from the emotional roller coaster of the last week and I kept going down the dark road of “what ifs” without realizing what I was doing. What if Sydney doesn’t bond with me? What if Madelyn’s attachment goes haywire with the addition of a sibling? What if I run out of emotional and/or physical energy???

To address these fears, I turned to my default mode of to-do list tackling. I don’t know why I do this because, inevitably, it never makes me feel better. Nonetheless, I ran around the rest of the day madly scribbling notes on my yellow legal pad of everything I felt I should finish before Sydney’s arrival. I assembled a completely unrealistic to-do list spreadsheet and sent the link to Troy, at which point he quietly inquired about the state of my heart and mind. Where was my joy? In reply, I fell apart. Where WAS my joy? Why was I succumbing to these fears? I went to bed in the depths of despair again.

And then, when I woke up, I found a short email my sister sent me in the early hours of the morning. She reminded me of the peace I had found a few short days ago. “God’s peace is deep and lasting, not short lived,” she wrote. Then she shared John 14:27:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Wow. Yet again, I claimed that peace and the fears subsided. Just like that.

Attachment isn’t easy for anyone - I full well know that because I have experienced it and seen it with my friends who are also adoptive mothers. I had all of these same fears of the unknown before Madelyn came home, but they melted away when I held her for the first time. In place of the fears, I had love and determination to do whatever needed to be done to be the Mama she needed. And I may very well be super low on energy during Sydney’s first few months home. I was exhausted when Madelyn first came home and yet it was a small price to pay for all the new joys and steps toward attachment that each day brought. So once again, I am partaking of the peace that God offers. Peace in knowing He will provide me with just what I need to step through whatever lies ahead. I feel humbled to know that it is still there even when I somehow managed to let go of such a precious gift.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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Delay

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 18:22:00 +0000

Things have been very busy as we anticipate and prepare for Sydney's arrival. And then yesterday we got the news that China did not issue our Article 5 letter, which we must have to receive travel approval. Other families who submitted their paperwork at the same time received their Article 5 letter, but we did not. Our adoption agency doesn't know the reason and is going to have their China staff make inquiries on Monday.

This is the second time we have had a paperwork delay for Sydney. The first was with our Letter of Acceptance (LOA). Ours got stuck during the Chinese New Year holiday and took an extra three weeks to process compared to typical time frames. The hard thing is that we are out of time cushion this time and it looks like this delay will likely push us into the June 14 travel group rather than the May 17 travel group, barring a miracle.

The news literally took my breath away and I could barely eek the words out when I called Troy to give the news. It took me almost a full minute to find a voice after dialing my Mom. I sobbed and cried for most of the day. I asked everyone I encountered during the day to pray for a miracle and for peace. I went to bed in the depths of despair.

And then, at 4:30 Saturday morning, I awoke and encountered not a miracle, but peace. Sweet peace. God whispered to me that although I could not see the entirety of his plans, He could. Reassurance washed over me and I cried again - but this time they were tears of gratitude.

I still have a sadness and longing in my heart to hold Sydney in my arms and love on her, but I also have a peace. A peace that, regardless of when we travel, we are already a family and God is holding each one of us in his arms and loving on us.

Thank you so much to all of our friends and family for praying for peace. It is a precious gift.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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LOA

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 04:45:00 +0000

These are three very important letters in China adoption!

On Friday, Troy and I received the call from our agency that China had issued its Letter of Acceptance (“LOA”) for us to officially accept our match with Sydney. Madelyn and I waited by the door on Monday for Fed Ex to arrive. It finally arrived around lunchtime and I poured through the documents. Everything looked good except a typo on my middle name. I slightly panicked, but our agency does not think it is anything to worry about. They instructed us to go ahead and submit it with the typo, but we will have to get back on the phone with US Immigrations to determine whether they will require China to reissue the document. Madelyn and I jumped in the car and drove to Wilsonville so that Troy could sign everything. We made copies and got to the Fed Ex office in Tualatin just before the 4:00 drop-off deadline. All three of us breathed a huge sigh of relief - it is on its way to US Immigrations for Sydney’s provisional immigration approval!

Along with the LOA came a slightly unexpected piece of news - our agency thinks we may land in the May travel groups!!!!!

We could be bringing Sydney home a little over 2 months from now!

I had a headache prior to our agency’s phone call on Friday, and it immediately left with this news - and it hasn’t returned! It’s amazing how much the wait can weigh on you sometimes. Sydney, you have no idea how excited your Daddy, big sister, and I are to meet you in person and love on you!

Based on the timeframe we experienced with Madelyn and on the general estimates our agency typically provides, we thought we would end up in a June or July travel group, but our agency thinks June is probably the latest we would travel (which is music to our ears after preparing to wait until July). Of course anything could happen - with Madelyn, our China Travel Approvals were inexplicably delayed far beyond typical timeframes and there was a huge trade fair in Guangzhou, where all China adoptions are processed for immigration to the US, causing a further delay to our travel. (See Madelyn’s adoption timeline here.)

I would love to have Sydney in my arms before her second birthday (June 1). And I would love for Madelyn and Sydney to share the same Gotcha month (Madelyn’s Gotcha Day is May 9)! At the same time, the timing is God’s. It always has been and always will be.

Trusting and praying for His time for our travel.

- Tricia Olson, 2013

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It’s Christmas All Over Again: 2012 Weekly Recaps (52 of 52)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 05:05:00 +0000

Christmas week came and we celebrated, celebrated again, and celebrated a little more! With all of our family in town, the celebration options are of course endless.

First up was ringing the bell for the Salvation Army at our local mall.

Then we declared an official “Big Sister” day and celebrated Madelyn becoming a big sister. We gave her a Bitty Baby doll that we had been saving for her (my Aunt, Uncle & Cousin got it for Madelyn before she even came home from China!). Bitty Baby’s first official outing was Ike Box for coffee and then a local bakery to pick up cupcakes for Santa. For lunch, there were personal pizzas from Papa Murphy’s. (Madelyn’s favorite - she even chose them over Wallery’s with the prize egg machine. You can’t beat pizza that comes with a tattoo to wear!) We ended the day with a few carousel rides.

Next up was our own Christmas celebration. We told Madelyn that Santa had emailed Troy and let him know that he would be coming a few days early to our house since we would be at Nana and Papa’s house on Christmas morning. Madelyn thought that was very nice of Santa and on the appointed morning she woke up and raced downstairs before Troy and I even knew what was happening. She happily opened both her presents and Sydney’s presents but was very careful to leave Sydney’s presents for Sydney once she comes home. Madelyn’s favorite gifts were her super hero cape and her ladybug projector night light (she had been asking for the latter for months). We spent the day hanging out in our pajamas, playing the games we got for Madelyn, reading Christmas books, and just enjoying our time together.

Some of our favorite Christmas books currently are: The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg,
Christmas Cookies: Bite Size Holiday Lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Snowmen at Christmas by Caralyn Buehner, The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore, Jingle Bells by Iza Trapani, Llama Llama Holiday Drama by Anna Dewdney, You Are My Miracle by Maryann Cusimano Love & Satomi Ichikawa, Frosty The Snowman by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins, Olivia Helps With Christmas by Ian Falconer, Dora’s Christmas Parade by Leslie Valdes, The Little Drummer Boy by Ezra Jack Keats, and Franklin’s Christmas Gift by Paulette Bourgeois. You will notice that a lot of these are song books. Madelyn and I both love the “sing and read” style. Even Olivia breaks into song in her story, and Madelyn LOVES to join in at the top of her lungs: “Glooooooooooooooooooooooooria.”

At the end of the evening, we gave Madelyn some hot chocolate and a Polar Express ticket that we found here on Pinterest, then watched the movie together as a family for the first time. It was honestly one of our best family days ever.

On Christmas Eve, we headed to Christmas Eve service with Grandpa and Grandma. Madelyn had her first choir experience with our church’s annual tradition of inviting everyone to participate in performing the Hallelujah Chorus. Madelyn and I had been practicing for a few weeks by watching choirs perform on YouTube. The first version I found was this performance by an all-boys choir. When it finished, Madelyn sat silent for a moment then asked, “Where are the women?” So then I found this gender inclusive version. At the end of this particular performance, Madelyn raised her hands in the air at the end and said, “Wow!” Afterward, she started learning to be the conductor. I tried to capture a video of her conducting, but it is a little hard to tell what she is doing because I took it while she was sitting on my lap in front of the computer.

We ended Christmas Eve evening with dinner and family time at Grandpa and Grandma’s house.

Christmas morning, we headed to Nana and Papa’s house, followed by dinner at Grandpa and Grandma Carlisle’s house and carols led by Kelly on the piano and Geoff on the viola.

And so closed 2012 - here is to 2013 as we embark on a new journey as a family of four!

- Tricia Olson, 2012

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Oh What Fun It Is To...: 2012 Weekly Recaps (51 of 52)

noreply@blogger.com (Troy Olson) — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 23:07:00 +0000

I adore Christmas time - there are so many fun things to do to celebrate the season. It also happens to be the busiest month of the year for me at work, so I end up being extremely tired after the increase in both work requirements and personal activities, but oh well! There are so many fun memories.

First up this week was a visit to Doernbecher for Madelyn’s audiology and ENT checks. For one of the hearing tests, Madelyn has to add scoops to a plastic ice cream cone every time she hears a sound. The “game” varies - sometimes she has to add plastic cookies to a cookie jar. Madelyn’s hearing is still within normal range, for which we are very thankful. We will continue to monitor as it is not uncommon for kids who have had cleft lip and or palate to have some hearing loss.

After the Doernbecher visit, we got to say hi to Joylyn who was just starting her evening shift with the NICU. Madelyn was very surprised to see her friend in that context!

Then we headed out for dinner and Christmas lights. The original plan had been to go to Portland International Raceway to see their light display, but we somehow ended up in Portland on the ONE evening in December that the raceway lights were off. There may have been a little stress. Okay, a lot. I am not good at improvising! We got hot chocolate at Starbucks and munched on Trader Joes gingerbread cookies while we drove through a few random Portland neighborhoods looking at lights on houses. About 15 minutes in, Madelyn said, “Okay, Okay - lets get out of here.” (Some of her impatience may have been due to the hot chocolate she spilled in her car seat rather than the lights or lack thereof.) I was a little bummed about the results of the evening until we crossed over the bridge on I-5 to head back to Salem. Madelyn let out a “Wow!” as we drove past the City of Portland lit up over the water. And at that moment, the evening seemed just perfect.

By the way, thank you, Denessa, for introducing us to Trader Joes gingerbread cookies.

Next up in the week was a visit to Santa. Madelyn prepped her letter using an online program offered by Macy’s retail store (she dictated, I typed). Macy’s donated $1 to Make a Wish (up to $1 million) for every letter to Santa delivered through their store!

Then we met up with Owen and Ava to mail the letter and meet Santa. Owen asked his Mom in advance if she would ask Santa whether his beard was real. It turns out that the Santa we visited did have a real beard and he was happy to let both Owen and Madelyn check it out!

At the end of the week, we found ourselves back in Portland again to celebrate both Troy’s birthday and a surprise 40th birthday for a friend. We headed to Christmas in Dairyville at Alpenrose Dairy in Portland and enjoyed an hour or so of free family fun!

It is amazing how things seen through the wonder of three-year-old eyes can make even the cheesiest (no pun intended) of displays seem magical. I will treasure these years forever!

- Tricia Olson, 2012

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