Om Mind, Body, Spirit

Peace

2010-12-16T08:06:00.000-08:00

There's this strange feeling flowing through me right this moment...
Its not old; not new; not unknown
But everytime is different...
Peace....
Of mind; of body, of soul....
At peace with myself, At peace with my world...
Its interesting how you can be broken into pieces one day...
And the next is like an opportunity for renewal.. do you take advantage of this blessing?

Last nights experience at Yoga To The People was amazingg... Its busy, its hectic and its chaotic while everyone is leaving class/ preparing for the new one... There's a collision of energy,, the jittery one coming in and the calm one getting out...
Its almost like leaving a cave after years of being in silence and darkness and being exposed to
Times Square's alive, awakened, almost Manic energy. But the thing is when you are so at peace;
Its hard to even feel affected by the chaos that surrounds you. And that's exactly how I felt,, and still feel this wonderful Thursday morning,
Like i found a balance i was lacking all week.

Im grateful for the phone calls from my mom asking how Im feeling; Im grateful for my mother-in-laws emails telling me she misses us... Im grateful for the delicious dinner my wife made me; Im grateful for the warmth she has found in her North Face ;)
Im grateful for the way she feels safe in my arms and falls silently asleep knowing nothing bad can ever come of this Peace we feel around each other.

Another Hump Day

2010-12-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

Wednesdays are such a drag... and even more so feeling under the weather..
Im taking a HOT Vinyasa class tonight with my cousin Maria; and i couldnt be more excited...
I haven't seen her in a long time; and HEAT always makes my colds go away faster.. Two for two on the thumbs up scale.
Ive been reading a lot of photography blogs lately... trying to prepare for playing photographer during my Brother-in-laws wedding. So nervous I could bite my nails off! But very very excited to discover if I have any real talent! lol Baby got me a tripod, a remote (which we haven't been able to sync) and a lens cleaner kit... She's the absolute best! Even if we end up fighting over playing with the gadgets and not helping with dinner... Marriage is funny, perplex, and wonderfully Insane.

Upon research and constant picture viewing and technique finders Ive come across this Fall 2010 30X30 thing inspired by I dont know who! but which seems like a great way to stay fashionably sane especially in this cold cold weather.. when the only sense of style you want to have is a very very thick down coat to keep u warm.
And who cares what you're wearing underneath when you have to layer so much?
Well I care, thats who! Every morning i wake up and lazily flinch at the thought of stepping foot out my door... But there are those days when I wake up and feel like wearing something funky; and sexy; and chic; and all of a sudden... excitement to step outside and show it off hits me.. and the blushing sensation I get when my gorgeous wife tells me i look beautiful is more than enough motivation to spend an extra few minutes really thinking about what to wear.
So next week starting the 20th I'm going to do my own little Remix of Winter 2010 30x30.. during which time I can only pick out 30 items from my closet (including shoes), but not including coats, scarves and gloves...since i have to adapt those to this blistering weather..
And during which time im not allowed to shop for anything new (which is why I need to start next week, since Im in desperate need of shopping for some winter gear this weekend, i.e. Jeans without holes and shirts with actual sleeves! ) Looking at my closet I realize I should really be living in a tropical area... not in NYC!

Time to save on laundry too! Ha

Xmas Presents

2010-12-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

Although Baby and I decided not to go crazy this xmas, and ending up financially stumped when it should be a merry not (stressful) holiday; We absolutely went all out....
And lucked out thanks to a little thing called Jack's Superstore!!!
This place has everything u can think of; starting at .99 cents and moving its way up to $50.00
I swear things that would normally cost you hundreds of dollars... are a measly 10-15 at jacks... from home goods; to food; to gift wrapping; to actual gifts; bikes; toys; clothing... i mean it has EVERYTHING you need!

So for less than 100 dollars we got gifts for the 9 family members we will be spending xmas with; this is including gift wrapping paper; bows; xmas cards; and voila! bundles of goodies that were perfect for each one!

I was soooo not in the xmas spirit; but it felt so great to pick out things you know fit someone's personality/ activity/ vices etc. And even better, it felt great to bond with baby because I know how important it all is to her.

The week is coming to a close on a wonderful note; with a weekend full of music, beer, and sweat coming up. Vogue it out!

Feeling pretty darn GReat!

2010-12-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

Its been about a month since I embarked on a mission to get toned, healthier and feel better than ever... and i must say: I feel pretty darn great!
After the holidays we were left a little lethargic; Black Friday shopping? Who does that?! We did, for the first and probably last time...
that one night was enough to keep us in bed and feeling like death the entire rest of the weekend. Booooo!

So needless to say we havent been to Bikram this week, or dont much of anything but walk to and from work lol...
Wait` not true,,Baby has been riding her scooter so that's been her "break a sweat" moment of the day; twice a day. Me: Well Ive been less active... Walking to the restroom a few times a day to keep up with my overactive; vitamin stimulated bladder count? Probably not...

BUTTTTTTTT; We did undergo this Vegan transformation... And so Im feeling healthy and new and great! Today, a slight headache which im blaming on detoxing or on withdrawal or on that nasty trigger point underneath my Rhomboid muscle right at its insertion on the scap .. sending all kinds of referred pain up my neck and into my temples.... OUCH!

But looking at myself in the mirror made me smile today. I feel lighter, although i wouldn't dare get on a scale because weight loss is not the reason for anything in my life.. so Im just winging it by how i feel... listening to my body, if you will... But it def helps to look in the mirror and say: well well well,,, we've lost a little pudge since our last little belly photoshoot!
So here is my gunt currently. =]

Reflective Thursdays

2010-12-02T07:31:00.000-08:00

As the week reaches it's climax, I wonder what little lessons I've learned.. What moments have stood out; What I need to remind myself of for the upcoming week and weekend... So here goes:

1) I reallllyyyy realllyyyyy realllyyyyy do not want to live in NYC for much longer. 5 yr plan.... stick with it...
2) Divorce is such a painful, depressing, stressful, pitiful situation and decision.
3) Im afraid of change and of the unknown
4) I miss chanting; meditating; yoga... I have abandoned them and fallen into the routine of doing EVERYTHING with my partner.... so if she isn't up to it; i wont be either... definitely something to think about.
5) I need at least an HR to myself a day, of silence, no phone calls, emails, numbers, ppl, nothing. just ME... lunch breaks; here I come... ALONE!
6) I desperately need to buy some extra sheets; were having family over soon.
7) Tofu Cream Cheese, fake bacon and all things vegan that are made to taste like real meat, dairy and poultry are DELICIOUS! And have made this transition so much easier.

I want to feel like this right now:

Contemplations; Stimulations

2010-11-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

The Apt is looking beautiful... still messy, but beautiful. I cant seem to find the energy to finish unpacking the last three boxes; to sort thru books.. to put our bookshelves up on the wall... No time is a good time for it. All I think about after work on days when we are not going to Bikram (which has gotten a lot easier =]) is cuddling up in bed with my love and just doing nothing but be in each others arms. Oh sweet bliss.

This week a new task has risen in our minds bodies and souls. We took a 30 day Vegan pledge with Peta.org after watching some horryfying videos and doing some conscious reading and rationalizing. Ive always tried going vegetarian... and because of the comfort of cooking what i know.. and the fear of burning the unknown; i seldom try new meals///
But now its time to stop making excuses... because simply,,, i feel sick thinking about animal torture and how easily we put a knife to a pig, cow and chicken's head... as if they weren't deserving of the life they too were given. Ugh... 25 yrs of selfish behavior all coming up in one night...

This morning; my very first Vegan Bfast: Tofu Cream cheese with a toasted whole wheat bagel... Deliciously light, filling and heart smilingly healthy, with one chicken spared when i skipped my usual egg bfasts =]

This will be a challenge... Especially two days before gobble gobble time. Its hard to explain your resolutions to ppl when so many of them either don't get it; or their ignorance makes them want to just insult you for doing something you feel strongly about... But i don't live for them; nor to justify my life to anyone... So happy me.. bothered u.. too bad! lets see what adventures we discover down this path of green, unprocessed pastures.

Bikram Yoga Nyc

2010-11-12T08:07:00.000-08:00

Seriously; In one word : ENLIGHTENING!!!

We tried Bikram for the first time last night at the Flatiron Studio on 5th Ave & 23rd St.. The nerves kicked in the minute we walked in at 6:25pm; clearly beyond early for a 7:30pm class. We filled out our student waivers and got to watch a sneak peak as Natalia Maldonado taught the 6:30pm class... and it seemed relatively easy as far as poses are concerned. Well we should have kept watching....

Our time comes and our Instructor Nancy Cronkite introduces herself and taught the new students (us and one more girl) the opening Pranyama (which looked fairly easy from outside the room) but is actually quite challenging when you are in a heated room. Inhaling deeply for 5 counts felt like razors trying to flow through my nasal cavity. And so we begin the series of 26 postures which we are repeasting twice in the next 90 minutes. I was feeling quite alright and tried every pose for the first hour of class... The last half hr; Which is when the actual YOGA really begins and the poses become more intense; I was ready to pass out.

So I had to lay in śavāsana For a few of the poses to try and regain my breath and slow my heart rate a bit. Then I found the energy to finish the entire sequence. All in all; the hardest part were staying in the room and not running out like a madwoman into the cool air outside the door (my brain was fighting the thoughts; no one will even notice; theyre in a meditation)... which only brought me deeper into my own meditation lol
Funny how that works.

Al in all; It was a truly new and amazing experience. The staff were very helpful and courteous. We are going back tonight and trying to get through th emuscle soreness we feel today. I lost 2 lbs of water weight all in one night; this can turn out to be a beautiful relationship =]

Come Sweat with Me!

Tuesdays Never Seemed like much FUN untilllll.....

2010-11-09T07:55:00.000-08:00

We are spending the night at The Home Depot fishing for Paint colors for our new place! =]
Couldnt be any more excited when Kristin (our landlord) called us yesterday to say: "We were going to paint the walls a solid beige or neutral color; but if youre serious about painting other colors then come on over, the place is yours to do what you like!"

So tonight is the night... I came across these amazing colors through Kates blog from SF http://www.undeniablestyle.com/... The colors captivated me! She has an awesome sense of style and sensibility =]

I've never been as bold as to think turquoise or purple would look good on any wall... but our carpets are a light ; almost white color and so any bright colors would liven up the entrance hall. And im kind of digging the whole Moroccan/Indian/Middle Eastern vibes. When you walk up the stairs to our flat, all you see is this flat white wall with not much personality.. yes, a great colorful paintjob would do the trick; a splash of any of the above colors would really make a "welcome!" statement.. And the wall decor can then be something as simple as a nice mirror. I specifically love this idea:

http://slicesofgreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/norfolk-mirror.jpg

Baby wants an olive green bedroom this time around.. from Red to green; Def a big change lol... We will see what shade of green we decide on... And the living room; I actually think we wont need to paint it.. with the colorful shades of orange; blue and red we already have as couch pillows; decor; candles; etc... maybe just a wonderful canvas painting done by her would add all the personality our small living room needs. Color may actually make our space even smaller; so lets see what happens... =] Sooo excited! Pics of the finished project coming soon!!!

Rain Rain Go Away

2010-11-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love rainiy days. But today took the cake with being an unfair rain. First off, Its barely raining... I mean if youre going to rain,,, pour or go away! I find it so annoying to carry around a heavy, barely working Umbrella... Only to have it be blown away by the gusts of wind coming from the Hudson River...Getting only wet enough for my jeans to stick to my skin and make me itchy most of the day! lol

Ahhhh its been a crazy morning indeed...And all this because I had to bring my beautiful wife to her new job right at the tip of the River; After which i had another 45 minute commute to my own job.. this is love i tell you. All in all, Im drying off and anxiously awaiting to hear how her days is going at this new place. =]

Our move date now got moved to next weekend,,, but thats ok because our landllords are nice enough to then discount the next two weeks off the rent! Anddddd now I get to have weekends with her instead of spending Saturdays by myself.

We went to visit my parents last night.. and saw them for well under 30 minutes because they rushed off to their Congregational Meeting.. My mom left us a magazine talking about the Bible's views on Homosexuality.. (as if im not fully aware).. But I guess as a reminder of how we can choose not to act on misconduct or on improper impulses...

If you've read my post on Spirituality and Religion.. you already know how I feel about all this... IF you haven't.. check it out:
http://rock-my-sockz.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html

Thank you for the attempt at reforming me though.

On another note im excited to be joining the month of yoga at Bikram today! I joined the NAtional Challenge just to see how much weight I have to lose... And I was told 10lbs. But im just not a big fan of gyms... So ill break a sweat in ways i like: Hot stretching... Which if anyone knows a thing or two about mucles; We are still tearing muscle fibers when we stretch; therefore creating a new dimension and altering the state of that weak muscle into a more toned and flexy one =] Lets take a look at my GUNT now... and we shall see how it changes within the weeks:

And Yessss It may not seem like a huge gunt... But Im a Dancer; since the age of 11.. So the giggle in my entire mid section when Im trying to giggle something else (my butt) lol... Is NOT SEXY...
Im on a mission. To get TONED; DEFINED; And feel HEALTHIER than ever =]

Besides how Can I promote health and wellness with no plan of attack for those who need and want it? Food for Thought. =]

2010-11-03T13:23:00.001-07:00

Custom Search

Halloween 2010 @ Vintich =]

2010-11-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

And the green grass grows all around

2010-10-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

And Just like that; After some time stressing and worrying about Nov 1st getting here; its three days away... and we have an APT! =] Back to being a Jersey girl I go... I must say I love the escape from the hectic city life... Always did and always will.. The conveniences may not be all the same; but the peace of mind and change of pace is well worth it... Only 40 minutes away from work. Very very excited To move next week!

Even with all the excitement, Emotions have been on a rough path the last few days.. And i find myself needing desperately to chant and meditate and just have some spiritual release and silent moments... Bikram Yoga NYC is offering a package for a 30 Day Unlimited Package costing only $30..for new students only.... and by new they mean new to the studio.. not new to yoga..so anyone who does not take advantage of this is seriously nutty! So as soon as we are all settled in my first stop is at their front desk.... where do i sign up?! Follow the link above if you wish to join :o)

No matter how bad things get; we should always take a moment to stop and smell the roses. Every negative feeling brings with it various good ones.

LOL moments

2010-10-19T10:04:00.000-07:00

So on our way to CT, we decide to reenact scenes from Drag Me To Hell... which we watched last week at my brother's.... Damn movie was hilarious and very very nasty!!! And this is baby's attempt at Gumming me lmaoooooooooo. I love this woman for always keeping the child in me alive. .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJpEha5A6gA&feature=related

Journal Entry #1

2010-10-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a bit of a daze this morning. My patience is running a little dry; a little solid.. I cant wait to settle in... Winter is almost here and I want to be stuck in just 1 place; with my beautiful wife. Its driving me a little nutty.. Im begginning to feel a little desperate; frustrated; excited; nervous all at once.

So many things we both want to do and accomplih and it seems; until we have all our belongings and our heads and space in one place; they cant possibly flourish... because the main concern now is finding a place we can call HOME>

We actively partake in the actions that manifest into what we call our LIVES, and we dont seem to take note of the mistakes we make along the way; or the wrong decisions; or the lack of chances we take. I am now a LMT; and i will not, for the life of me apply to other places because of the fear of the unknown... What happens when i leave this job? That im so accustomed to? Thats so good and stable for me?
But oh the opportunities i could be missing; to do some serious healing; to partake in beautiful relaxation. Im scared; scared to take those steps towards a new beginning career wise... never knew it would be this hard. I thought the hardert part (school, boards exam,) were over. But i realize they are only just the beginning of some very challenging decisions.

I guess its time for some deep breathing and some relaxation of my own. :::sighssss::::..... all things will fall into place... all at their right time.

Spirituality & Religion

2010-06-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

The dear topic of pure controversy. If there are three things you should not discuss in public, its homosexuality, religion and politics. Im gay, proud and as happy as the word gay itself gets. So I wont go into the first topic. No one's opinion matters but mine on that subject lol
Politics... hmmm well aside from the fact that I know nothing about it; I have no real interest in it. Because I cant stand Government systems and how they operate ... live off of and ruin our lives.
If I ruled the world: here is what it would look like.... Buddhist =]
And not in a religion aspect. Because There is a huge difference between religion and spirituality.
In the aspects of the Buddha where we all abide by laws of morality, honesty, loyalty, compassion, kindness, all things beautiful in nature and in humans. And not laws imposed by sefishness, or by a book, or by anyone really but the very santity of our hearts. We are all born pure; innocent souls into this corrupted, sinful life... And i cant help but think... Had man from the begining of time led himself in a way that showed knowledge and love both to his partner and to his planet... every other person born from them; would by example be the same. How is it that according to the Bible, God created man in his image but then ALLOWED Satan to tempt the beliefs and principles he instituted on his creations?
Oh, to give them the choice of serving him or not? What does that even mean? What choice? They knew no better than to just embrace all that came along.. they had no example... they had no guide... Oh, dont eat from that tree! Is God's commandment... and b/c u couldn't follow, led by the tempting beautiful "snake" in the garden.... Ure a Sinner! And goodbye you're out of God's paradise world... and Cursed you and your husband have become just because he trusted his wife; who trusted the snake.. who God , who has the power to create this whole Earth and the two ppl living in it at the time, decided... eh lemme see what they do. As oppsed to reminding them; because they were like children, new to all this LIVING situation and rules and such.. I asked u to pls not touch that tree. And Eve would have certainly said ah yes, ure right.. ill walk away now. So im sorry but I dont choose to believe that the reason we are here today, in this world destined to kill itself and its inhabitants, is that God indeed doesnt test us; but indeed allows us all to make the wrong choices, and then punishes us for life, and our offspring and the whole world is a mess and yet he says... oh if you follow me and listen to my word the bible.. u will be saved!
What????
How am i supposed to believe Salvation comes from someone who allowed HIS world to turn to shit?! This is all too confusing and emotional for me!
And so Buddhists,,,, in my opinion have the right idea... U can't escape pain and suffering in this world.. and its no ones fault but ur own... So work on you.. on being with urself.. in the present moment... every day... every minute.. until you see the things in you that are permitting this suffering and finally... in an effort to end it all; LET GO> Let go of the egotistical attachments... let go of the rage.. let go of the hate.. of the sefishness... because really.. if just one person starts this.. and then influences his family to live the same way.. who in turn influences their coworkers and friends and friends of friends in other countries... to find themselves b/c we are all truly instituted of kindness and compassion.. and are tainted by all the differing thoughts and beliefs and pov's.... then this world.. my world and yours and every continents and every landmark, tree, water system... would be cleansed! Cleansed of our own insanity that we build upon ourselves as a race... I cant effect the whole world... And im starting to feel afraid that i sound like a Preacher!~but im starting with me. And i live with laughter love and PEACE in my soul,,, as to be of the best outcome of my universe who holds me so lightly in place no matter where i find myself. I seek spirituality,, not religion... not confusement.. not conflict... I seek MYSELF. <3

How things CHANGE~

2010-05-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

So its been almost year... Like everything else in my life; I neglected blogging. Im really good at starting things and terrible at following through and finishing them. Im almost afraid of seeing an end; even if its required... like my education. I graduated Dec of 2009. Yayyyyyy for me!!!! Five months later... May11, 2010 is when i decided to come in and get my diploma... and start filling out the paperwork for my boards exam... lol... Can you say procastination to the max?!
But im proud I finally got it done... it marks and end... and its scary. I walked in there and told the Dean of Students Meg that I missed being in that building; that i want to take their personal trianing course just to come back lol... she looked at me like i had three heads and told me she had never heard anyone say that before.
This gets to another place where im starting something new... Since i cant continue school for now for reasons beyond my control; Im setting another goal to keep me feeling active and motivated and not just a corporate monkey.
I've decided i want to be a fitness model. I spent years basically modeling my half naked body in front of hundreds in lounges and clubs and private party settings... and the attention I got was positive and rewarding and made me feel really proud of how I took care of my body. For the past three months or so being unemployed took its toll and my body is looking what i call disgusting.. for me at least. So ive started to work on rebuilding and refortifying it.... slow slow slow paced start. But at least its a start right?!
So i set a goal to be in bikini modeling shape by this time next year... And I will accomplish this goal.Maybe I wont be ready to join a competition, or maybe ill decide along the way competing is just my way of staying motivated with working out...but ill at least have a drive. No matter what bumps in the road... I will be cleaner and healthier and neater both inside and out. My muscles will be a roadmap to the perfect picture underlying inside, after all, true beauty comes from the places we cant see... not from the ones we can. So here we go... I probably wont keep blogging about my progress... my hardships... my good times and bad.. because hello? Its been a yr since i even remembered i created this. So at some point when i decide to come back and read all the nonsense I write; Ill see what I've actually accomplished.

like a Virgin!

2009-04-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

So i just got introduced to this blog mania... as if i needed more things to add to my list of things to do... now im strangely compelled to express my opinions like every other robot in this cyber world =]
For the most part i tend to get very angry when i opininate... if you dont like it.. die! =]
When you catch me on a good day i can totally make you laugh 'till you pee your pants. So here goes nothing... lets talk about nothing and have opinions about everything. "Opinions are like ass holes......Everyone has one! "