On a Joyful Journey

The Vicar’s Wife and Her New Hat – What I’ve Learned So Far

2012-01-23T21:06:00.000-06:00

I wear many hats as a wife, mother, homeschooler, clergy spouse, friend, daughter, and sister. As with most roles, there is no manual on how to perform the roles we assume in the best manner. My newest role as clergy spouse has been a role filled with seemingly unknowns. There were no classes in seminary as to how to walk alongside my husband as he shepherds God’s people.

In retrospect, I can see how I have been formed for this role. God put people in my life to bring me where I am today. Like my husband, the good Lord equips those He calls for the journey. Never fear that you won’t be equipped for the call.

I have experience in church leadership - served on the vestry and various committees - and have been very involved with the youth. I knew how things worked in the hierarchy of the church.

If we are truly blessed, we have a mentor to talk with and learn from. I’ve had a few slip in and out of my life over the years – women for whom I have a profound respect for as they support and minister alongside their husbands. Their fleeting presence had a huge impact on how I viewed my new ministry.

As we prayed about the call and then, in obedience took the call, I became a student of other priest’s/pastor’s wives as I pondered my role. I found I admired those who had a gentle presence – those who did not, in a sense, compete with their husbands or parishioners in ministry. After all, this role isn’t about me. It is about supporting my husband and the strengths of those who already at work in the Body of Christ – not taking the place over because I might be able to do it better however unlikely that would be. When others work to glorify God, let them grow according to God’s will. My gifts will be used in as God sees fit when He sees the need.

I admired those wives who lead by example. They walk in the Word – not perfectly because none of us are. They love people and show love to people…and show them how to love others. Not every person is easy to love. Nonetheless, the difficult people make the Body whole and we need them. Often, they are looking for healing but have difficulty with expressing their pain.

I learned that the power of prayer is huge! I pray as I work throughout the day – for my husband and for our congregation. This isn’t a role for the weak at heart. People suffer in their daily walk. People long to become closer to and rely on God more in their sufferings but they often need a little help from a friend whether it be prayers or offering an ear. Walking alongside them and keeping their confidences is of utmost importance.

Advice for New Clergy Spouses

Since nobody handed me a clergy spouse manual, I'm assuming one doesn't exist. If it does, I would love to read it. For those new to ministry I thought I'd share what I've learned so far:

Study. Familiarity with the Word, shows us how to walk in the Word with the Body of Christ.

Pray. Pray for and with your husband. Pray for his flock. Pray for those who are suffering in their daily walk. Pray for the leadership as they work to bring the Gospel to the world and unite the Body of Christ. Pray for those who don’t know the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Pray for yourself – that you may be what God has called you to be as a clergy spouse.

Spiritual Warfare. You and your spouse are on the front lines of a bitter war. Evil wants to invade your heart and soul. Know it and guard against it with prayer. Put on the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) every day and as necessary.

Priest Killers. A new term to me but related to the above. Be aware that there are a few who exist to destroy ministries.

Communication. Keep it flowing between you and your spouse. There will be trials and tribulations to weather together. As we support each other in ministry, open communication is essential in preventing misunderstandings and estrangement. Because this ministry will consume much of our spouse’s time, we need to remain loving partners communicating together in love.

Time. When we have children, it is understood that they will consume some (or much depending on the age and stage) of our couple time together. When we take on a parish, they become part of the family and deserving of time. As a couple, it may take some creativity and effort to make time just for the two of you but it is essential, vital even, that you make the effort.

Vocation. Know that this is an unconventional vocation. It is not a 9 to 5 job. Phone calls and hospital emergencies will come at inconvenient times.

Respect for the veil of the confessional and/or counseling sessions. There will be times when you will not be privileged to know everything that your spouse knows. Period.

Keeping confidences. What people choose to discuss should never escape our mouths unless the parishioner specifically requests that it be shared. Gossip (or what can be misconstrued as gossip) can kill a congregation.

Obedience. Our husbands have responded in obedience to a call to serve Christ and His Church. Therefore, we are called to obedience also. Obedience to conform to the will of God for ourselves, our families and the flock He has chosen for us to shepherd.

Charity. Pray that your heart exudes charity for your spouse, family and God’s people. It is easy when working in a “people profession” to fall into a pattern of cynicism – especially about sin. We are all sinful, broken people working to glorify God in a broken world.

Perfection. Forget about it. It just doesn't exist in our human condition. There is no "perfect" clergy wife. Yes, you and your family will be scrutinized heavily as are all clergy families but this isn't about being perfect. All our lives, even for the clergy family, are called to walk with Jesus, to strive to holiness. We are broken and we walk with the broken. Walk in faith beside them.

Politics. Confession - I am a political animal. I am fascinated by church politics. I don't talk about politics with my church family but do talk about how we can best glorify God during these difficult times

Mentor/Spiritual Director. This is not an easy vocation. At times, there will be struggles - whether internal or external. Have a support system in place before the need for support arises.

I do so love my vicar’s wife hat. It is made of a rich woven fabric that is the lives of those who attend our church and beyond. In all my years, I’ve never been a part of a faith community that truly revolves around the love of Christ. Now, I know and am blessed by it. They are my teachers and I try to keep my eyes on Jesus because this is really all about Him. This is a ministry based on relationships – as are all the roles I’ve assumed. As long as we keep Christ in the center, we will all bear the fruits of our relationship with Him and each other.

AND glorify God!

Sanctity of Life...

2012-01-12T15:09:00.000-06:00

...Sunday is coming on January 22nd. This is a wonderful video to share with your congregation.

For more information, please visit Anglicans for Life

The Love Syndrome AKA Down syndrome

2012-01-09T21:36:00.000-06:00

This is Julie and her brother Derrick

Julie likes having Down syndrome

It "makes her unique"

Julie says she'd rather be slow to learn than slow to love

Julie loves her life and it shows

You can get the t-shirt at Derrick's site while Julie's gets set up

Go to the store and get yours today.

I've order mine

I love my life!

The Twelve Days of Christmas

2011-12-31T10:17:00.000-06:00

Source

It's still Christmas at our house!

In our tradition, the liturgical calendar marks the twelve days of Christmas beginning on December 25th and ending on January 5th. Christmas is a season for us -- beginning the day we celebrate our Lord's birth and ending when the three kings arrive at His birthplace when we celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany.

The "deeper meaning" of the song The Twelve Days of Christmas is a myth which has been propagated since the mid 1980s. There is no evidence that its origins were from the 16th century split by the Church of England from the Roman Catholic Church. For a time, it was a crime to be Roman Catholic in England. During that interval, it was thought that this song was used as a way to teach young Roman Catholic children the catechism. Truth be told, there is no scholarly evidence to support this myth as fact.

Anyway, here are what the 12 gifts were thought to symbolize:

The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments

Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit - Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit-Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

A meaningful story perhaps but nothing factual to back it up but I still like it!

I'm linking to The Nativity Carnival hosted by Kerry, A Ten O'Clock Scholar

Different Dream Parenting by Jolene Philo

2011-12-29T19:54:00.000-06:00

As you may recall, I have a passion for ministry alongside those with special needs. As part of my research into this ministry, I have acquired quite the library. Early on, I read Jolene Philo's book, A Different Dream for My Child - Meditations for Parents of Critically or Chronically Ill Children. I was amazed by the attention to detail in the recollections of the author and those who generously contributed their stories. Each chapter is short (important to those in crisis with short attention spans), introduced by Scriptural references and closes with prayer. This book which offers insights and practical advice as well as comfort for those in the early stages of their journey with a child with special needs.

Recently, I was given a copy of Jolene's new book, Different Dream Parenting - A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs. Every parent of a child with special needs should read this book!

This book offers advice and insights from the time diagnosis through young adulthood. Different Dream Parenting shows us how to walk with God as we deal with the diagnosis, parenting the chronically/critically ill child, marriage and family life, dealing with extended family, working with healthcare professionals, managing the school years, emotional sequelae to multiple, serious procedures, planning the future of the child with special needs...and even the death of a child.

As the parent of two children with significant special needs, I know that many times along the journey I did not know what I needed -- and was often confused as to what might be in the best interest of my child.

Have you ever been so tired, lost and confused that you didn't have the energy or know what to pray? Different Dream Parenting offers spiritual comfort and practical, important ways to pray.- with prayers sprinkled throughout the book and seven prayer guides in the appendix.

I think my favorite part of the book deals with dispelling and defeating guilt - an almost universal condition after a diagnosis that indicates a child with have special life-long needs whether they be physical, emotional or intellectual.

"Believing God has a purpose for you and your child on this special needs journey is another way to combat guilt. In Exodus 4:11, God says, 'And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn't it I, God?'

"According to Exodus 4:11, God created your child with a special need. Therefore, He has a reason for it. Maybe He's already revealed what it is. Maybe He's given you only the faintest inkling. Maybe you're still waiting for His purpose to be revealed. But your weapon against guilt isn't how much you understand about God's purpose. Your weapon is a rock hard belief that He has a divine purpose your you child, whether or not you understand what it is."

Though there is no guide to living with a child with special needs that will address all the intricacies that come with the diagnosis and life with a child with special needs, Jolene's book sheds much light on the journey whether you are in crisis or in a more stable place on the journey. Different Dream Parenting is a practical, thoughtful and insightful guide which offers much food for thought. As one who has traveled the path dealing with children with special needs for a very long time, I recognize this book for the gem it is - a must read for the journey!

Jolene blogs at Different Dream for My Child where you can find out more about her books.

Christmas - Emmanuel - God With Us

2011-12-25T17:00:00.000-06:00

Almighty God,

You have made this night holy but the gift of your son,

born of the Holy Spirit and of Mary.

Upon him rested all your grace,

through him has come all your mercy.

Let His light shine within our hearts tonight

and even more brightly than is shines

from the candles in this place.

Help us to hear your word

and to celebrate your everlasting love through him.

Amen

(Author Unknown)

The Nativity in Movies

2011-12-16T20:45:00.000-06:00

Need an escape from the hustle and bustle? Take some time to watch The Nativity in Movies!

This film is a compilation of nine films from 1905 - 2006 depicting the portrayal of the birth of Christ. Though this compilation primarily revolves around The Nativity Story (2006) starring Keisha Castle-Hughes and Oscar Isaac, pivotal points are emphasized by older versions of the story in film. It is set to contemporary music with a wonderful balance between the dialog and music.

Here are some fun facts about The Nativity Story

I know it is hard to find the time (a little over and hour long) this time of year but the film is so worthwhile as we remember the Reason for the season!

Advent in Two Minutes

2011-11-30T09:51:00.001-06:00

Advent and The Sanctity of Life

2011-11-28T14:31:00.001-06:00

As we prepare our hearts for the coming of the newborn King in the season of Advent, let us consider the Christ child growing in Mary's womb and what a precious gift He is to us. He came, born of woman, to bring salvation to all who believe.

Powerful.

His message is one of love, not of destruction. His message is life-giving, not killing. His message is one of redemption and eternal life, not slavery to sin and damnation.

God creates us in love, for love.

Love doesn't kill unborn babies.

All life is precious.

Anglicans For Life is asking for our commitment to pray during Advent for the sanctity of life:

Lord God, thank you for creating human life in your image.

Thank you for my life and the lives of those I love.

Thank you for teaching us through Scripture the value you place on life.

Help me to uphold the sanctity of life in my church and community.

Give me the strength to stand up to those forces that seek to destroy the lives of those most vulnerable, the unborn, the infirm and the elderly.

Today I commit myself never to be silent, never to be passive, never to be forgetful of respecting life. I commit myself to protecting and defending the sacredness of life according to Your will, through Christ our Lord.

AMEN.

Anglicans for Life is an organization dedicated to ending abortion and euthanasia, protecting embryos from research abuse, and promoting abstinence and adoption. You can follow them on facebook and twitter or go to their website to sign up for e-mail updates and/or print newsletter.

As an avid supporter of sanctity of life issues, I was shocked to learn in the July issue of the Anglicans for Life newsletter the following facts:

3% of abortions are "for the health of the mother" I'm not sure how health of the mother is defined since it really is a nebulous term. It can be somewhat subjective and/or prejudiced by the situation...and perhaps the medical professional giving advice as most maternal health situations allow a baby to mature to viability.

1% of abortions are due to rape/incest.

3% of abortions are due to "health of the child" after genetic testing reveals a genetic abnormality -- and we know that 90 plus percent of children with Down syndrome are terminated...

93% of abortions are those of convenience - also known as elective. 74% of those are pressured by others to seek abortion.

What a tragedy. I'm sure God weeps as He watches His children murder innocents...

Advent - Preparing for the Master's Return

2011-11-28T12:51:00.001-06:00

As we all well know, Advent is a time of preparation for the coming of the Christ child, God incarnate, and a time of preparation for the second coming of our Lord. It is a season of quiet anticipation, a season of hope. It is also a penitential season - though the post-modern culture doesn't like to make much of a fuss about preparing our hearts and souls. On the first Sunday in Advent, we heard the words of Jesus according to St. Mark:

"But of that day or that hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch, for you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch. Watch therefore -- for you do knot know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or a cockcrow, or in the morning -- lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Watch." (Mark 13:32-37, ESV)

Serious words. Urgent words...

Though awake, are my heart and soul asleep? Is my work done? Am I ready for the Master's return?

As I ponder the preparations for the great celebration of Christmas (decorating, baking, shopping, etc.), I must make it my priority to prepare my heart and soul for the Master's return. He really won't care about the trees, the wreath, the mantle or the cookies. He cares about our love for Him, our commitment to living out His Word - as we seek to love one another, meet the needs of the sick, the poor, the needy and make Him know to others.

So, I must set my heart in order and live out my priorities. The decorations, baking and shopping can wait until the real work is done. Spending time in keeping Advent, time in His Word, fasting, searching my heart for things that need to change and service to those in need have a great deal more urgency and relevance in the eyes of God.

Please visit Kerry, at A Ten O'Clock Scholar, as she hosts the Nativity Carnival - Keeping Advent through Epiphany.

Seventeen

2011-11-15T16:59:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday Reagan!

What an amazing journey!

How blessed I am to walk alongside this young lady...

Every day I know unconditional love

and

Joy beyond comprehension

Thank you Father for this gift

Know widely as your messenger here on earth

She draws others like a magnet to Your promises

Pointing all to Your heavenly kingdom

Where peace, love and joy flow freely

To know her is to know You better

I'm honored to be her mom

The Road Less Traveled...

2011-10-24T13:28:00.000-05:00

Even as homeschooling becomes more mainstream, people are shocked when I tell them I homeschool Reagan, my almost 17 y.o. with Down syndrome. Most really have a hard time understanding how a mom can educate their child with significant special needs. They have a hard time understanding why I would even contemplate taking on the task!

I have always tried to make decisions for my children based on their best interests. Homeschooling was/is the best choice for them. Period.

I know longer defend our choice nor bother to explain it unless someone has a sincere interest.

The less traveled homeschooling road has had some challenges but as we look to the end of the road I only see great joy and beauty in what we have accomplished. The interesting thing is others see it too...

Share |

Blog Makeover

2011-10-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

With GREAT trepidation, I gave my blog a makeover! All. By. Myself!

I love the simple new look! I love the ease of use of the updated blogger. I got the courage to take the big step after starting two other blogs:

Special Needs, Special Blessings - Ministry Alongside Individuals with Special Needs

and

Christmas With Amy

Let's see how I keep up with three blogs when I wasn't doing all that well with one!

Share |

When You Can't Find God

2011-09-14T20:08:00.000-05:00

I had a friend come to me recently lost in despair. She had suffered a great insult which causes her untold pain. She is grieving the loss of something big in her life. The details are not important but her pain is very real - so real that she can't find God in the midst of her despair.

I'm not sure why she came to me but she sees me as someone who is safe. She is a devoted Christian, someone I admire greatly for her ability to show Christ to others -- and she came to me. It was quite a humbling experience for me for I know I don't have any answers.

I am grateful that she let me share in the depths of her despair. It is never an easy thing to join intimately in that place that is so full of angst, a place where God is but in our pain we can become blind to His presence.

What does a Christian do when you can't find God?

Continue to pray. Even when you can't find God, go through the motions and keep the dialogue going. There are times in everyone's life where we don't feel the loving presence of God. We know we are His creation - beloved and cherished children of God. We are so special to Him that the hairs on our heads are numbered! We must keep talking and listening with Him...and look for the ways He displays His presence. We can believe despite the lack of feeling His presence.

Commit your daily walk to Him. Leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says "Lord, I desire to walk with you today." When you get up in the morning and brush your teeth, read the sticky note out loud. When you can't feel His presence, understand He will never leave you.

Put on the Armor of God. Seriously. Satan senses our weakness in our painful state. I suggest you print this prayer out and tape it the above mirror. To allow evil to enter into the healing process is to delay it significantly and perhaps forever.

Resolve to spend time in His Word. Even when the pain you are experiencing leaves you exhausted and weak, open your Bible for new insights and words of comfort in the place where He speaks to us. A few minutes a day will be of great encouragement. I pray you will find yourself called more and more to that time with Him in His Word.

Make a decision for forgive. A rational decision to forgive those who cause us pain is the first step to healing. Make the decision, ask God to help you - even when you can't find Him. He will direct your path despite the wall of pain you find yourself surrounded by.

Ask forgiveness. Sometimes our pain is the result of our own sins. Confession and absolution great healers.

Give God your pain. How does one do this? It is no easy task - I know from experience. So often we want to hold onto that pain - our little hurts and our big hurts. Sometimes our hurts are associated with the death of a loved one and we cling to it as if we were clinging to the one we lost. We know are injured and weak. Begin with your thoughts in prayer - "Lord, I give you my burden. It is much to heavy for me. I need to rest in You."

Some things needs to be wrestled with in our relationship with God. Sometimes, we can't find God because of our anger with Him. When there is no one else to blame, we often blame and become angry with God. Why did He allow this injury/pain to afflict to me? He is ready for you! Yell, scream,rant and rage at and with Him. He is big enough and loves you enough that He is ready to listen and surround you with comfort, strength, and healing.

Trusted friends are vital. God gives us friends to love and support us on our earthly journeys - to pray with us and for us, to bless us with their ears, hearts and hugs. When you can't find God, let a friend share His love for you.

Seek prayer support. Not everyone needs to know the details but surround yourself with prayers and pray-ers. God knows your needs so ask others to pray for you and your unspoken needs.

Talk to your pastor. Pastors can be immensely helpful in counseling your way back to spiritual health and wholeness. If your pastor isn't gifted in pastoral care (yes, it can happen) an experienced Christian counselor can be helpful.

Knowing and believing are enough. When we can't find God on our Christian walk it leads to greater suffering and spiritual distress. As Christians, we believe in the reality of His presence. He is there. He surrounds you with comfort and healing. Our pain can make us feel separated from God but we know that is impossible.

Know and believe and the ability to feel His presence will return. I know...

Share |

A Different Dream for My Child

2011-08-23T11:20:00.000-05:00

Jolene of Different Dream is featuring my blog this week by publishing an interview with me!

From Jolene's blog:

"DifferentDream.com is a gathering place for parents of special needs children. Dads and moms in the hospital with seriously or terminally ill kids feel isolated. So do parents whose children live with mental disabilities or chronic illnesses.
If you’re one of those parents, DifferentDream.com can help you find answers to questions like:

Why did God let this happen to our child?

Where do we find strength to deal with this diagnosis?

How do we navigate life in the hospital?

How do we juggle life inside and outside the hospital?

When we take our chronically ill child home, how will we cope?

What will life be like if our child dies?

If our child survives, how do we regain a normal life?"

Jolene has written a book - A Different Dream for My Child - Meditations for Critically or Chronically Ill Children which I just started and can hardly put down. Her writing is compelling, real and filled with hope.

Her book is a must have for every parent walking alongside a child with a critical or chronic illness. I hope to share more after I finish the book!

Jolene is also quite active in ministry alongside individuals with special needs.

Here is part one and then part two of the interview.

I am so grateful for the support and advice of others who have traveled this ministry path before me. I have never met people who give so generously of their experiences as those who minister alongside individuals with special needs. Thanks Jolene!

Thank you Lord for all those you put in my path as I work to meet the needs of individuals with special needs and minister alongside them!

Share|

Three Monks on an Island

2011-08-19T18:34:00.000-05:00

I ran across this parable this week and it has left me pondering what it means to faith communities in learning to walk alongside people with special needs.

Three Monks on an Island

By Leo Tolstoy

"Three Russian monks lived on a faraway island. Nobody ever went there, but one day their bishop decided to make a pastoral visit. When he arrived, he discovered that the monks didn't even know the Lord's Prayer. So he spent all his time and energy teaching them the "Our Father" and then left, satisfied with his pastoral work. But when his ship had left the island and was back in the open sea, he suddenly noticed the three hermits walking on the water-in fact, they were running after the ship! When they reached it, they cried, "Dear Father, we have forgotten the prayer you taught us." The bishop overwhelmed by what he was seeing and hearing, said, "But, dear brothers, how then do you pray?" They answered, "Well, we just say, 'Dear God, there are three of us and there are three of you, have mercy on us!'" The bishop, awestruck by their sanctity and simplicity, said, "Go back to your land and be at peace."

Many individuals with significant special needs cannot speak or if they do their communication skills may be lacking in some way. Some cannot memorize the prayers that we all know by heart. Prayers that may make us feel closer to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Are those prayers necessary to have a deep relationship with the Trinity?

This parable displays what we, parents of children with special needs, already know.

Faith is what the heart knows and understands.

Our duty is too teach our children just how much God loves them. They don't necessarily need words to walk in faith and complete God's will for them on earth...

Share|

Our New Educational "Toy" - iPads and Down Syndrome

2011-08-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

For some time I've heard about the advantages the iPad has to offer but the cost was prohibitive. I've ~~wasted~~ invested so much money on educational tools/materials that disappointed me that I did a great deal of research before committing to buy.

And I was still unsure.

Do we really need more technology in our house?

We are surrounded by technology which I find all too tempting. In the time it takes me to write this post, I could have burned 300 calories on the treadmill...

Would this tool be of value to an older child with special needs?

Reagan has great verbal skills. She doesn't need a augmentative communication device. Those with younger children with Down syndrome find the relatively inexpensive AAC app, Proloquo2Go, quite valuable.

Would there be enough apps to make the device worth the cost in our homeschool?

Reagan has the basics down and much of what I had read about apps which are useful in education and Down syndrome were applicable to younger individuals.

But then I read Leah's review of iPad apps on her blog, Garden of Eagan, and I felt a bit more positive.

Then our cell phone provider dropped the price of the original iPad dramatically.

That was all I needed!

Reagan loves her iPad! I've found many apps that are fun learning tools. Many incorporate errorless learning in a way that Reagan finds exciting. I've also found apps which build on her communication skills and grammar.

My favorite apps so far are from the Mobile Education Store. These communication apps are inexpensive and interesting for Reagan.

The math apps available seem endless. There seems to be something for every goal I set!

For a comprehensive list of apps for children with special needs, try these sites:

iPhone and iPad Apps for (Special) Education

Complete Guide to Educational and Special Needs Apps

Looking for an iPad for your child? Fill out an application here. Apps for Children with Special Needs exists to help families who cannot afford an iPad.

You might find other resources for funding at Special Needs Apps for Kids

The rest of the family also makes use of Reagan's iPad. I never thought I would enjoy downloading books and reading them on an electronic device. I so love the feel of reading a real book - but having 26 versions of the Bible (free app) in one place can be useful!

Now, I can take my vacation reading in a suitcase minus the weight of the books.

I love this device too! It has proved to be worth its cost and its value will build over time with new apps developed constantly. I'm sure this investment will not be wasted!

Share|

Benefits of Homeschooling Children wtih Special Needs

2011-08-03T19:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, we are still homeschooling! I don't write about it much these days though. Reagan, 16 y.o. with Down syndrome, is my only student now. I guess I've been doing this for so long, that it is just our way of life. The struggles are few and the joys many!

This was originally published in 2004 on the Riverbend Down Syndrome Association's website but still works today.

Benefits of Homeschooling Children with Special Needs

The child with special needs can receive the one-on-one teaching that will enable them to grow academically. This cannot be matched in the public school setting.

The program can specifically target the child’s relative strengths and tailor the child’s education in such a way that the system cannot possible match. Homeschooling also allows us to teach subjects not commonly offered in the public school system.

The program designed for them by the person who knows their needs intimately. Your home program will best suit their individual needs. You can create a balanced program that does not sacrifice academic skills for life skills.

The child can learn at his/her own pace to allow their needs to be met properly. Concepts can be taught with the repetition necessary for mastery using a wide variety of materials ensuring success appropriate to the child's needs and developmental age.

The child will have the opportunity for successful learning experiences that will motivate them to develop persistence in learning difficult concepts.

The child learns academic and functional life skills in the best of all venues-real life. Fractions are “important” when it comes time to share a pizza!

The child with special needs can learn where they are safe from peer ridicule. Many children with special needs are the object of peer ridicule because of processing difficulties, difficulty expressing themselves, physical impairments or cognitive challenges. They can make mistakes where it is safe to do so – their own home.

The parent can pick and choose social opportunities. Homeschooled children are not limited to socializing with only their peers. They tend to socialize with children and adults of all ages for a wide variety of experiences. Homeschooled children are less affected by peer pressure.

Character development and behavior issues can be dealt with by providing an environment where limits and consequences are consistently enforced. Homeschooling can offer atmosphere where the choices and consequences are articulated as necessary to make the best choice available and wrong choices can be discussed and dealt with consistently.

The spiritual needs of children with special needs can be met best in our own homes where they will be exposed to the love and word of God. In a world where many of our children seen as "disposable" and somehow less worthy, they need to know that God has a plan for them and loves them unconditionally. God does not make mistakes! "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14, NIV.

The health benefits are tremendous. Children exposed to Early Intervention in group settings and the public school system are constantly exposed to every viral/bacterial illness present in the community. Homeschooled children with special needs can avoid many of these common illnesses until they are older and better able to tolerate them.

If I could only prevent people from "borrowing" my writing. The may rearrange and simplify a bit but....

Share|

For His Glory

2011-08-03T15:24:00.000-05:00

Waxing poetic of late.

I am a child of God

Daughter of the King

I am born of Royalty

A servant in my Father's Kingdom

Following the teachings of my Lord and Savior

To love as He loves us

Empowered by the Holy Spirit

Strength for the journey

I know that I am loved

Created in love to love others

Planting seeds

Wherever I go

To make His love known

To all of His creation

Planting seeds

So love can grow

His love brings freedom and joy

In identity joined in Him

My mission is to live, love and serve

Bringing all before the Throne

Love will unite His church

When the Body of Christ is whole

The crippled, the lame, the blind, the lepers

Love will come to heal

If not on our earthly journey

Eternity awaits

Then the lame will leap like deer and the mute shout with joy

And I will be healed

Share|

Daughter of the King

2011-07-30T20:42:00.001-05:00

My daughter does not suffer

From the extra genetic material with which she is blessed

She lives her life enveloped by grace

Freely given by our Creator

She doesn’t suffer because you stare

Her mission is reflect His love

She doesn’t suffer when you don’t respond

She knows the flaw is yours

She knows who she is - a child of God

Created in His image

She knows her role

As His emissary in a sinful, materialistic world

She doesn’t need you to judge

There is only one Judge that matters

One who judges the righteous with mercy and love

And forgives the repentant

She knows the Judgment Day will come

She will face it as she lives life

Basking in His Grace

Entering one of the many mansions

Prepared for those who believe

As a daughter of the King

Share|

The Little Things - Memories of Grandma

2011-07-30T09:07:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a little writing for others this week. This summary of the memories of my beloved Grandma who passed away many years ago. Her impact on my life was huge and I hope this is a fitting tribute for a wonderful, Christian woman very dear to my heart. It will be published in a book written by my aunt in the near future.

The Little Things

I’m not much of a detail oriented person. My memories are not filled with details of gatherings - who was there or even what happened unless it was a momentous or tragic occasion. I’ve always looked at, and stored to memory, the big picture.

As I look back on my memories of Grandma, all I see is gentleness and love. In looking at the big picture, I knew Grandma loved me. She loved me in little ways. She greetedme by name each and every time we visited. I was never glossed over in the crowd of grandchildren that gathered frequently at her home. She called me by name and offered some little tidbit that let me know she was keeping up with my life.

As I grew up, we had more grown-up kinds of conversations with a mutuality bound by love of grandmother and granddaughter. We talked mostly about the little things – precious little things. I observed, listened and incorporated what was good and lovely about her.

I only have a picture to recall the details of her face and gentle smile. A smile as lovely as her little garden where life stopped for sips of mint iced tea. A place where I was enveloped by love, could relax and enjoy our time together. The soft scent of roses filled the air as conversation revolved around little things.

I’ll always associate Grandma with Christmas and the gathering of family. A special time filled with love, stories and laughter. We know a few are missing and missed but the love continues on with a sense of their presence no matter where we are.

As Grandma aged and fought a courageous battle with cancer, I was honored and blessed to hold her hand during extremely painful procedures. Her hands were very soft and warm and the tears she cried fell on our hands as she endured pain that few will know. Tears I treasure to this day.

As she became weaker and knew her time was coming, I held her hand as she slipped into a state marked by mumbling and what others saw as confusion. I listened carefully as she talked to God, working out her mistakes with her Lord and Savior. She didn’t mind my presence so I sat at her bedside holding her soft, warm hand in the sterile environment that is life in the hospital basking in the love of Grandma – and her love for God as she prayed and asked forgiveness for her sins.

Certainly those were sad times as we watched this gentle, lovely soul prepare to leave us. It was such a comfort to know she was prepared and ready.

It is in these little things that the big picture tells its story. The story of love and the gentleness of her soul – and everything a grandma should be. Grandma showed me the meaning of this life. It is all about love in the little things and little ways in which we love one another so the big picture can tell the story.

She has gone on ahead to her heavenly home but we know her soul if safe – may she rest in peace and rise in glory...

Share|

As God Views...

2011-07-20T09:46:00.001-05:00

Through the lens of Love

As He views the rest of His Creation

As His precious Child

Bearing His Image

As an intentional part of His creation

With a ministry to fulfill on earth

As one who bears unique gifts

Valuable to the faith community

As His beloved

Sent to glorify Him in her life

As a sinner

With a repentant heart

He revels in the beauty of her soul

Washed clean by the Blood of the Lamb

Created for eternity

Just like you and me

Share|

The Faith Community - Walking Alongside the Family Living with Special Needs

2011-07-19T18:52:00.000-05:00

Families raising and supporting children and/or loved ones with special needs live unique lives – lives filled with many blessings and unexpected joys - but often face greater challenges that those living a so called “typical” life.

Like their loved one with special needs, they are often living on the margins of society. Their first obligation is to family – just like your family but with additional responsibilities which leaves less time for friends and social gatherings.

What can you do to walk alongside families?

Meet them where they are outside of the faith community. We only capture a few moments when we gather together as a church family. They live 24 hours per day with their loved one with special needs. We can be in relationship with them as they deal with the their everyday lives away from the church. A little effort goes a long way!

Acknowledge they are dealing with more than the typical family.

We acknowledge that every child/individual is special but some deal with challenges beyond the typical family which impact their lives, marriages, typically developing children, and relationships in the community. Often times, they work endlessly to find ways to meet the needs of the child/individual with special needs and spend many more hours per day meeting individual’s needs to help him/her reach beyond their challenges.

Do not be afraid to approach the family.

Many people just do not know what to say or do. Let the family or the individual lead the way for you. As you get to know the family, you will probably be surprised by the blessings they know as a parent of a child with special needs or supporting the individual with special needs.

You will discover that their lives are more than the individual with special needs diagnosis. They, as a family, are much like your family. Beyond the challenges they face, they have the same dreams and hopes for their loved one...and share many of the same problems.

Don't be afraid to inquire about the individual’s special needs.
Most families are quite willing to share – they live with those special needs day in and day out. Special needs are normalized over time and quite often easily spoken about.

Do not be afraid of the individual with special needs.

They may look different or act differently but they are always people first. Treat them with the same respect, friendliness that you would show anyone else. A little genuine interest in the life of the individual with special needs and their family are precious to them.

The nonverbal individual will appreciate a smile, a light touch and friendly conversation – just like every other individual. Some will have ‘invisible’ special needs and are also in need of your support and understanding.

Educate your families about people with special needs and encourage friendships.

It is important for individuals with special needs to have friendships with those we view as typical. Individuals with special needs learn a great deal from peer relationships. The peer will learn a great deal about befriending those who really are more like them than different and valuing all of God's creation.

Include the family openly and lovingly in group activities.

Your kindness will be deeply appreciated. Giving exposure to the individual with special needs and their family will promote acceptance into the faith community.

Allow the family the opportunity to educate your congregation on the special needs of their child or loved one.

This may help others feel more comfortable with them. Knowledge will breed compassion and the ability to welcome them fully into congregational life – to help them see beyond the diagnosis and to be valued for who they are.

Mentoring opportunities.

Many opportunities exist in meeting the everyday needs of the individual with special needs and their families. A little companionship for the individual with special needs – perhaps going for a cup of coffee or to a movie which may contribute to their future independence – is quite meaningful to the individual and their family.

Do remember the siblings.

At times, people forget about the devoted siblings/family members. Growing up alongside a child with special needs or supporting a loved one with special needs comes with many blessings but sometimes they need to be acknowledged for who they are individually. No one really wants to be known only as the sibling/relative of an individual with special needs.

Invite the parents/caretaker out or over for an occasional social activity.

They need to just be grownups sometimes and away from the usual daily responsibilities.

If you are so called, offer respite care on occasion.
An hour or two on occasion will provide refreshment for the overwhelmed parent/relative. Perhaps you have a teen willing to be trained in meeting the family’s needs for a short time. Helping with some light household tasks or entertaining a toddler will be huge for a family dealing with an individual with special needs.

Do not feel sorry for them.

Many families will not welcome sympathy. In fact, they might find it condescending. Most families feel abundantly blessed to have the opportunity to have the individual with special needs in their lives. At times, the family may need a friend during crisis or episodic grieving that normally occurs when living with a child or individual with special needs.

Empathy is genuinely needed at times.

Offer your ear and an open heart when we do struggle. Sometimes all that might be needed is someone to listen. Even if you can’t truly understand, a compassionate heart might be all that is needed.

Pray for the family as you feel led.
All need prayer but these families might have different specific needs to be brought before the Throne. Ask how you can pray for them. In asking you show support which brings comfort that they are not dealing with challenging issues alone.

What can the wider community do?

This needs to be a ministry to an often marginalized group of individuals/families. A little extra effort to support families will go a long way.

Don’t expect families with loved ones with special needs to have the time and energy to give to the wider faith community on a regular basis. They are too often overwhelmed by what they have been called to do – especially in the early years where they are dealing with their loved one’s or child’s diagnosis, seeking answers to why the person/child isn’t developing typically, frequent visits to physicians and/or therapists, dealing with behavioral challenges and/or meeting the needs of the rest of their family. This is the time when support is needed most.

I promise you will be blessed in giving a little or a lot. When you reflect God’s love for all of His creation – especially those with special needs – you will discover a heart more inclined to love as Jesus calls us to love. Bless and be blessed!

Share|

All Life is Precious

2011-07-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

Annie, of The House That Jade Built, made this beautiful necklace to promote Down syndrome awareness in this The International Down Syndrome Coalition for Life necklace.

Wear your belief - I've ordered mine!

Share|

The Faith of a Child

2011-07-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." Mark 10:15

Reagan, 16 y.o. with Down syndrome, is a Believer. She knows that Christ was born, fully human and fully divine, and died on the cross for her.

This is the cross that she puts under her pillow every night. It goes with us when we travel and she never forgets to pack it when we leave our destination. She uses this symbol to remind her she is never alone - even in the dark of night.

She knows a deeper faith than most - simple, trusting and pure.

It is the faith of a child and I long to be more like her...

Share|