On a mission to strengthen Homes and Families

To do lists.... can you say overwhelming?!

2009-09-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

A lot of moms seem to be running from one place to another doing things for their children, spouse, church, work, and whatever else. This does not leave much time to spend on themselves. There is a great feeling that comes when we accomplish things, but for some the list is so long it seems to be impossible to make our way through. Oft times when this happens we get frustrated, and can even get down on ourselves. It is a domino effect,... you didn't get your list done, the frustration comes, so maybe you aren't as patient as you could be, spouse and children can tell, in turn they get frustrated, and well you get the picture. Not always a fun one to get. Whether it is not getting a list done or something else that triggers the frustration, the domino effect will most likely follow. Things have to get done though right? Of course they do, we just need to prioritize.
I was listening to a talk (can't remember who by sad to say) that had great recommendations. Hopefully I will be able to remember some, as well as throw some in myself.

First set time aside for just yourself each day, at least 20 min. This can be to read a book, take a nap, or just sit and relax. Whatever is going to relax you and make you feel refreshed. We all need a little break to charge up and get ready to go again.
If you are a person who must have a list, make it manageable. Maximum of 3 out of the ordinary things a day. (If you like to cross things off put things on the list that you are going to do as a daily job. Example.. Playing with the kids, Laundry, dishes, cleaning of sorts, just everyday jobs.)
Reward yourself. I know that I love getting rewards for things that I do. If you get your most important things on your list done, pay yourself. Whether that be with money, extra you time, popcorn and your favorite movie, whatever is something that you look forward to, and have the means for.
Know that sometimes things happen, and get in the way of our "to do list" That is just fine, take the time needed for whatever the situation, don't stress about the list. I am sure it will wait for you. People most likely will understand that things happen if that is your worry.
It is okay to not be perfect. This is so hard for many moms to understand. I have to have the perfect home, family image, body, ect. There is no room for error with this mindset, and that makes one feel down on themselves and very stressed. Which brings us back to the domino effect. Take a step back and focus on all the good you do, and the things you get accomplished.

Which brings me to the "Ta da list". (This is something else that was on the program I watched.) At the end of the day take time to sit down and write all the little and big things you got done that day. Even if it is just playing blocks with your child, making dinner, and reading books, things like that are often the most rewarding.

These are just some of the many things that can help one feel more accomplished day to day. When you make your list ask yourself what really matters most to me? What is going to have the biggest effect on others (family) for good? Most importantly don't stress. :)

Go back in time?

2009-09-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

I am sure we have all caught ourselves thinking what if I did that different, or if only I didn't do that... Some might be related to school, work, dating, family, and pretty much what ever else you can think of. This will be geared towards the family aspect.
Each day is a new opportunity to help each other, and grow. If we are stuck in the past, our chance for growth now is limited. We very well could get caught in the same thing every day, simply because change seems too hard to do. Lets change that now. Forget about the yesterdays, and work on the today's the moment at hand.
As a mother, the last thing I want is for my actions to be detrimental to my children. I am the one who is with them more than any other person, it is I who has the opportunity, and obligation to help them grow. They will learn from my actions, words, pretty much anything they see me do. It is amazing how closely little ones watch everything that their parents do. Sounds a little overwhelming I know. Just start small. The keyword in my opinion is LOVE. If we have love for them, the rest will be made easier and come more naturally. Most parents have that down pact, so we are off to a good start.
Each of us have examples in our life, good and bad. Something that I find myself doing, is looking at people who have the same goals, and how they are going about achieving them. Or better yet, how they have achieved them. Once I see how they are doing things I can manipulate it to work for me, and my family. For instance, something I have noticed is my Mother in law's devotion to not only spend time with her children, but also grandchildren. Her family is so very important to her, and she shows it. She is very patient, and slow to anger. (A hard thing when you have as many kids around as she does) She corrects with love, and her children and grandchildren know it. The difference it makes is amazing! Instead of sending feelings of angst and frustration, she sends love. The cool part is, the kids still listen, not because they have to, but because they want to. Granted kids will be kids, and no one is perfect. It just seems like the best approach to me.
Through reading and studying things, I have learned a lot. One of which is that children are born with the want to help. You may have noticed when you try to sweep they are right there in the pile pushing it around. This is not done to be rude, or even to make your life more difficult. In actuality they are trying to help. Maybe try and give your little one a broom that is their size and ask them to clean up a "very important area" They will love this! Some may think that your area is much better though. Just have fun with it. Ask yourself what is more important, a clean floor, or a learning moment with your little one. This can go for many things.
Instead of saying "What if I" or "only if I" Lets start saying "What can I" ... learn, teach, show, inspire, lead, so on and forth. To me this has made a big difference, I am still in the process, each day is new, and I can start fresh. Hopefully I am progressing, instead of getting worse. We can't expect to be perfect, or even close for that matter. What matters is that we do our very best, and show love!

Little tidbit into what is to come :)

2009-09-29T22:58:00.000-07:00

It is officially my first blog, and I could not be more excited!! This is something I am very passionate about, and feel determined to be better at. Who doesn't need a reminder here and there about ways to strengthen the family? Maybe there are some "perfect" families out there who never fight, agree on everything, work together, have children who love and respect themselves as well as their parents, and so on and forth. As for my house... well we are working on it. Now you might wonder why someone who does not think they have it all down and pact is writing a blog on it. The answer is simple. I will not write a entry that has not been carefully and thoughtfully thought out and studied, therefore I will learn a lot in the process. Most likely more than anyone reading it. If this is helpful to anyone, even just one person or family it is worth it to me.
A little about me, and why I chose this subject. Family has always been such a cornerstone in my life. I have been blessed with wonderful parents, siblings, and even extended family. Growing up things were not perfect by any means. We had our fights, and pride, and our own quarks which I am sure you will learn more about in future blogs. It all came down to love though, that is something that we will always have. Now with a husband and children of my own, I want my home to be the best it can be. There will be posts on here about anything from fun activities to do together, to physical health, spiritual, and much more. I believe to be a healthy well rounded family you need to make a firm foundation. It won't come on it's own, and will take a continued effort, but once you start the difference is sure to follow.
Once I get this going along, I would love for people to send me ideas to study and write about. Granted they will be based on opinion only, there is no claim here on me being an expert. There are some fun ideas I have floating around in my head, I can't wait to get them out in words.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I will be posting much more shortly. :)