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Hey, it’s me Russ Riba… with another exciting OnHold123 Blogcast. Many of us are scammed or attempted to be scammed on the phone, in your email inbox, by mail… I thought I had seen it all until I was wet and somewhat naked in the shower… and I was scammed!

I proceeded to unwrap a bar of soap by a brand that I had used occasionally for decades. As a matter of fact, the company that produces this particular bar of soap has been making products for over 130 years. I open the package and to my dismay, what used to be a full bar or cake of soap is now a sliced up, cheapened, geometrical atrocity that is robbing money from the pockets of consumers on a global scale. You see, unopened, it takes the shape of a full bar of soap. But once you unwrap the surprise to be seen, you will notice the deeply curved slices cut out out from both the top and the bottom…enough soap is missing to make a full bar of trial size soap. And let’s not forget the amount of soap that was strategically removed to stamp in the name of the brand. The letters are deep enough to serve as a water reservoir for a quick drink following your shower! But I don’t recommend that.

I have no idea how much it costs to manufacture a bar of soap. But lets just say it costs 20 cents per bar. Lets slice out 10% of the product and save 2 cents per bar. For every million bars sold, 20 thousand dollars is saved…correct me if my math is wrong. On top of that, let’s charge more due to inflation. Look, I understand the economics, but when you change the geometrical shape of the soap and market it as a way to better grasp it, you are insulting the intelligence of the consumer. We are not that stupid… but I guess you need to save money for your corporate soap jet so you wont be late for the next National Sudsy Soap Summit where soap moguls can trade secrets on how to market a bar of soap the size of an M&M.

Regardless of your industry, give your customers more for their money… not less. You’ll gain their trust, gain more customers, and not lose the one’s that you have earned for the past 130 years. That’s a lot of soap. And to all the 130 year old’s standing naked in the shower holding your new, easy-to -grip bar of soap… you’re not mistaken… you’re not senile… it is smaller than it used to be.

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Let’s take you back to a blog not long ago… it went something like this:

“Hey this is PJ’s cell phone, and I’m either drivin’ my truck with the windows open or up on a pole playin’ with 470 thousand volts of power, so please leave a message after the beep and I’ll call ya back”.

What’s the lesson here? Find a way to have your business sound bigger than you actually are… larger than life. So how does one achieve a larger-than-life image while working out of their pickup truck from a cell phone or running their business barefoot in their boxer shorts from a bedroom in their home?

Many clients of OnHold123 by AudioMenu look to us to produce their custom greetings such as Voice Mail and Auto Attendant. PJ now sounds like this: “Thank you for choosing PJ Electrical Services. All of our representatives are currently assisting other clients. Please leave a detailed message, and we will return your call as soon as possible. Be sure to log on to PJElectricalServices.com to get the information you need right now.”

The challenge: How do you get a production like that with the voice and the music background loaded to your mobile phone? We do it right from our studios with digital technology, but I will refrain from boring you with the technical details.

So even if your a pig farmer with a second job as a website designer and you work from a cell phone. You can sound bigger than the biggest website design company out there. Just be sure not to answer the phone when you’re surrounded by 16 loud and rather large pot-bellied pigs all fighting for your attention.

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Meet George Jetson… okay how many readers (or listeners) are too young to know George Jetson? Let’s quickly go back to 1962 when a series debuted featuring George Jetson, a 38 year old man that lives with his family in the Skypad Apartments in Orbit City. Cars flew, servants were robots, and sidewalks were moving. We’re almost there folks… except for the robot servants, flying cars… we do have moving sidewalks in airports.

Here’s the point… why just read a blog? Everyday more and more consumers are listening to their iPods and mp3 players on the run, in their cars, on planes, etc. Let your customers have the choice in hearing your blog. That way they can get the information that is already written on your blog-site, but they can hear it while they are doing things where reading causes crashing into trees, jogging into a parked Buick, you get the point.

We recently added the service of Blogcasting for clients and consumers who would like an audio version on their blogs… similar to the one you’re hearing right now… unless your reading this version… hopefully not while jogging… watch out for that Buick.

So log on to OnHold123.com and contact us if you too would like to hear your blogs come to life.

Click to Hear “Poppy Seed Predicament

Creative Director Russ Riba has fallen off the deep end as this has nothing to do with on hold messaging! It does however display the level of production quality, music creation, and innovative copywriting skills available through OnHold123™. Feel free to share this song… and enjoy!

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So the other day, I’m brainstorming in the studio with one of my voice talents extraordinaire! We are trying to come up with a descriptive word for one of our client’s products. What becomes a major topic of discussion? “Super Cool”! Super Cool?

Then a day later on a breaking news story, I heard Bill Clinton’s team referred to as “Super Cool”.

Just this morning, I’m scanning the web reading a product review, and behold, it’s been described as “Super Cool”.

Throughout my years, I have heard and used everything from the 70’s with “hip”, “rad”, “blazin”, “far out”, and even “awe sooky sooky”. The 80’s gave us “fantabulous”, “glam”, “bodacious”, and “bombdigity” to name a few. Then the 90’s with “stylin’”, “wicked”, and of course, “all that and a bag of chips”.

Now, everything is “super cool”. Which means everything is the process of lowering the temperature of a liquid or a gas below its freezing point, without it becoming a solid. That is what supercooling actually is.

So, with all that said. I say… “On Hold Messaging is Super-Cool”. But how does one get super cool messages… by establishing a relationship with a super cool on hold vendor… such On Hold 123 by AudioMenu. But remember, if it was 1991, On Hold 123 would be “all that and a bag of chips”!

Many clients of OnHold123 by AudioMenu look to us to produce their custom greetings such as Voice Mail and Auto Attendant. So you can go from this, “Hey this is PJs cell phone, and I’m either drivin’ my truck with the windows open or up on a pole playin’ with 470 thousand volts of power, so please leave a message after the beep and I’ll call ya back” all the way to, “Thank you for choosing PJ Electrical Services. All of our representatives are currently assisting other callers. Please leave a detailed message, and we will return your call as soon as possible.”

So how do you get something like that with the voice and the music background loaded to your phone. We do it right from our studios.

If you want to take it a step further with a full menu of auto attendant greetings and on hold messages, this is really cool… it’s called RingCentral, and its designed for businesses as teeny tiny as the one that works from a cell phone all the way up to a huge conglomerate that doesn’t feel the need to spend money on expensive telephone equipment. We use it at OnHold123 and we love it.

It works like this… A customer calls your RingCentral number, a very professional auto attendant greeting answers the call (we will be happy to produce that greeting!) and you can have the call route to any phone or phones that you program it to. You can have your cell phone, house phone, office phone… all ring at the same time. If you don’t answer, it goes to your voice mail. You can even hit the “pound” key twice from the phone you answer on, and it will go into your On Hold Messages (That we of course can produce for you too!)

So even if your a pig farmer with a second job as a website designer and you work from a cell phone. You can sound bigger than the biggest website design company out there. Just be sure not to answer the phone when you’re surrounded by 16 loud and rather large pot-bellied pigs all fighting for your attention.

Click to Hear the BlogCast

Okay, so let me expand on that a little… If you do not have messages or music playing for customers on hold, throw each and every one of your phones in the dumpster! Go ahead… I’ll wait … … … … … … … … … … … … …

Now that you have a little more room on your desk- what… you didn’t really throw all your phones in the dumpster?

Here’s the deal. I’m not going to throw the On Hold statistics at you like “69.8465% of callers will hang up when hearing silence” or “callers listening to message on hold are 92.457% likely to wash their hands after using the restroom” or “a train traveling at 97 mph is more likely not to collide with a plane flying at 37 thousand feet as long as the train operator is not texting his mom about what she packed him for lunch”. Am I getting off course here?

The reason why your phones are useless with silence on hold is credibility. The credibility needed to ensure your callers that you have a handle on taking every step you can to market yourself on an equal or higher level than your competitor.

Just about every major company you call has licensed music and/or messages on hold. Messages are of course a greater advantage as it informs callers of their products, services and incentives. So why not market your company just as the majors do?

By the way, the reason why the large companies do NOT play the radio on hold is because it is illegal and their chances of getting caught are much higher because of their call volume… but that’s for another blog post.

When I hear silence on hold, I have to wonder if I am still connected.
When I hear messages on hold, the time goes by a little faster, I learn a bit more about the company, and I’m sometimes fairly entertained.
When I hear local radio on hold, especially when I’m calling a car dealership, I find it a bit ironic when a commercial on that radio station airs a competing car dealership. That’s it, let’s advertise our competitors on hold!

You have found your way to this blog by one means or another. Most likely you have some sort of interest in On Hold services. Or maybe your one of our competitors. Regardless, if you are playing silence for your callers on hold, kindly collect the phones in your office and toss them in the dumpster. You may lose a bit of income, but I promise your day will be much quieter. Oh, and if you are one of our competitors, i hope your blogs are compelling enough to get readers to the very last punctuation! “Exclamation Point”

Click to Hear the BlogCast

Have you ever done business with one of those On Hold providers that handcuff you to a long term agreement? Read the fine print before you sign and overpay! It usually translates to something similar to the following:

“You have the right to remain with our long term agreement. Anything you say can and will mean absolutely nothing to us because we already have your signature. You have the right to choose another on-hold provider but we will charge you a hefty cancellation fee and keep the money you have already given us. If you cannot afford our hefty cancellation fee, a new sales representative will be appointed to you, which means absolutely nothing. Do you understand these rights or lack thereof?”

The relationship between a consumer and a provider is a two way street… or at least it should be. You pay the provider a fee, and they provide you with what is hopefully a great product with exceptional customer service; a great trade off. What happens when you purchase a product or service and you decide you do not like what you receive? You either ask for a refund or never buy from that provider again.

But behold… the “Long Term Agreement”. This scenario works great for the recipient of the fee, but could wreak havoc for the recipient of the product or service. This often translates into the service provider’s lack of confidence in their own service. “I’m Mr. Mega Conglomerate CEO and I will force my customers to stay with me or they will pay!”

How many reading this have mobile phone service or pay-television service and you are locked into a 1 or 2 year agreement? If you wanted to switch providers tomorrow, should you not have that absolute right?

A company that is confident in their own level of service never needs to force their customers to stay. Those customers will stay because they are treated right.

Shop carefully for your On Hold provider, and in this day and age, there is no need to be tied down to any long term agreement. We are On Hold 123.

As a key player in the on hold marketing industry, I have been battling with how the designers of digital phone systems did not properly incorporate on hold marketing options. For companies that like to utilize IP based phone systems or VOIP, the option of playing back on hold is certainly available, but there’s a catch. Each time a caller is placed on hold, they hear the custom program or music file from the beginning instead of jumping into the loop at a random spot in the program like that delivered from a professional on hold player. That means if you put the caller on hold once, twice, or even for a third time, they will hear that same message first every time. If they call in the next day and you place them on hold, they will again hear the same first message.

Until a programmer comes a long and develops a way to randomly access a point in an on hold file, you may be limited. If you have the option of using an on hold playback device that plays a continuous loop, take that option!

Customers who contact On Hold 123 with just the option of a file that plays from the beginning each time qualify for our 4 message program for just $199. We do not want to sell you an 8 message on hold package if your callers will never have an opportunity to hear the later portion of the program.

I believe it is in our genetic makeup to put things off for the last minute. It’s the crazy idea that we actually have enough time in the day to fulfill all of our tasks.

When it comes to On Hold Message updates, we like to accommodate those friendly folks that realize at the last minute, “Oh, the holidays are quickly approaching, and we need to ’seasonalize’ our on hold program!”.

As we get closer to the winter holiday season, the OnHold123™ studios begin to get busier in keeping up with fulfilling <a href=”http://www.onhold123.com/on_hold_packages.htm#Holiday”>Holiday On-Hold</a> Programs. Most clients will start running their winter holiday programs immediately following Thanksgiving weekend. With that in mind, it would be a great idea to add an update to your to-do list.

Okay, so maybe the closer to the last minute you wait, the faster our announcers tend to read (you would not want to hear a production from December 23rd). But if you do wait until the last minute, we can come up with a solution for you. Think of us as your On Hold Procrastination Destination! We are <a href=”http://www.onhold123.com/”>On Hold 123</a>.