[Yes, hi, it’s been 900 years since I published anything, so let’s pretend this is, like, the resurrection of my blog?] We had the most lovely time hosting Easter dinner at our house on Sunday. The menu went according to plan, the weather was amazing, and the company was even better. Because Easter is a day of miracles, I can think of no better time to reflect on the everyday miracles we get to witness now, even (or, maybe, especially) in a world fraught with grief, tragedy, and fear.

Being in community is at often at the center of those everyday miracles: extending compassion whenever possible, being generous and creative with our time and resources, and knowing and trusting that we need one another in order to be truly healthy and whole.

Action is such an effective balm for the anxiety many of us are feeling these days, so I wanted to share a few organizations that are routinely making miracles happen in our community, and in this world, and that I believe are worthy of our support. While some are local to the Cape or Boston area, I’d be happy to help you find similarly aligned organizations in your area (truly, don’t hesitate to ask!).

everyday miracle workers:

• Family Pantry of Cape Cod: The Family Pantry provides food and clothing to all in need on the Cape, and there are so many ways you can support their work. From making a one-time donation to joining their Bag-a-Month Ambassador program, to volunteering your time, or donating nonperishable food or clothing and home items for their thrift shop (which is amazing, by the way) — there are so many accessible ways to join their efforts.
• Blood Donor Center at Children’s Hospital: Donating blood is one of the easiest ways to, quite literally, save lives. I’ve been donating off and on since I was 18, but in the past few years, really committed to giving regularly. If you’re eligible, I highly recommend checking out your local donor center, or searching for a local drive.
• The Release Recovery Foundation: I first heard about this organization recently from my friend Mindy, who is running the NYC Marathon in memory of her mother, Debbie, and brother, Nathan. She is raising $15,000 to empower two people to get the life-saving care they need for mental health and substance use disorder—regardless of their financial circumstances. The link will take you to Mindy’s marathon fundraising platform. I would be so grateful if you are able to join me in supporting Mindy’s efforts.
• World Central Kitchen: WCK has provided hundreds of millions of fresh, nourishing meals for communities around the world. Your donation will be used to support our emergency food relief efforts. They are extremely well established and vetted, and their locally-led teams are currently providing the majority of NGO aid to Gaza.
• Your Local Library: I feel like you knew this was coming… Our local libraries provide such incredible value and service to our communities– and that’s nothing short of a miracle these days. There’s the books, obviously– and then there is everything else. From free educational programming and technology help, to tax prep and passport services, to libraries of things (where you can borrow anything from crock pots to whiffle ball sets to laptops) and seed libraries, our libraries fill in the gaps and deliver so much. Please take advantage of this! Visit your library this week, let your library staff know that you appreciate them, and join their friends/supporters group if you are able.

Also On Tap for Today:

• You know I love a good playlist… here’s the 5 hours and 23 minutes of bops I played for my family on Sunday (full disclosure: I ran out of time/energy in the actual ordering of songs, so I sorted and played them in alphabetical order and that worked out quite nicely)
• Helpful read: How to Stop Impluse Buying, According to Financial Therapists by Jenna Ru // SELF
• This will likely age me, but I’ve been building a recipe binder of actual, printed out recipes and it’s giving me life lol — looking for something good to whip up (and maybe print out jkjkjk), here are few of my favorites (all vegetarian)

I’d love to hear about everyday miracles you’ve witnessed or created lately, or organizations you’d like to add to the list!

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And so, a few gentle reminders in case you’re in need of one or two of those.

5 Gentle Reminders for the Week | October 28, 2024

1. Nothing changes if nothing changes. And yes, change often feels uncomfortable and weird and well, not great. But few things of significance are accomplished when we’re comfortable (ok that’s not entirely true, rest is really important work). Give yourself permission to change your patterns, to change your mind, to change your habits, and to change your goals. Being flexible in our thinking is so powerful.
2. Your body hears what your mind says. It’s impossible to disconnect the two– the things we think, believe, and say (especially about ourselves and our own potential) live in our bodies, quite literally. Be mindful of how those thoughts, beliefs, and words affect you.
3. Stay where you are valued. Your intuition (that gut feeling) is so important. Trust how you feel in certain environments, situations, and relationships. Stay where you are made to feel safe, respected, understood, and appreciated. And if you are feeling differently, give yourself permission to move on. That limbo before you find a new soft landing can be hard — but please know that you are on the path to something better.
4. Progress is not linear, and it is often quite a bit slower than we’d like… but it’s still progress. While it would be lovely to always feel and see positive progress, any movement (even if it feels like a step or two backward) is proof that we are here, and still trying our best.
5. Let this be the one you remember: You are always enough, you are never too much.

Wishing you a really lovely, healthy week ahead.

Also On Tap for Today:

• This one is for my fellow Richard Scarry lovers
• You know I’m a Diet Coke purist, but have you hopped on the dirty soda trend train? Dying to hear your thoughts.
• Having a GSD kind of Monday

What words are bringing you peace this week?

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Here’s everything I ate in the Berkshires* (and the restaurants in Lenox you need to check out!)

*(minus the Diet Coke + Cheez-its consumed during the drive, let’s be real )

Dinner at Pizzeria Boema

After checking in at our first inn, Andrea and I made our way to Pizzeria Boema for an early dinner reservation. The staff was so warm and welcoming– we are still talking about how exceptional the service was. The interior was really bright and airy, and they offer plenty of outdoor seating as well along Main Street and their courtyard (friendly, leashed dogs are welcome in their courtyard seating area). It was busy, but still really comfortable (a nice change from all the lines and crowdedness on the Cape this time of year).

The menu at Pizzeria Boema is vegetarian and vegan-friendly– so much so that I waffled between several options before choosing their watermelon salad. My sister went with their arugula salad with grilled chicken, and we shared a margherita pizza straight from their very Instagram-worthy tiled pizza oven pictured below. Both were delicious. If we weren’t headed straight from dinner to a concert in the Lilac Park, I would have grabbed that last slice to go. Is purse pizza a thing? It should be.

Pizzeria Boema is located at 84 Main Street in Lenox, Massachusetts. It is currently open for lunch and dinner six days a week (closed Tuesdays) — visit their website for menu and details.

Breakfast at Brook Farm Inn

We enjoyed breakfast on the back porch at Brook Farm Inn on Thursday morning after placing our order and seating/time preference the night before. It was so nice to enjoy our tea and coffee surrounded by the Inn’s beautiful gardens while we planned out the our first full day in Lenox. I had greek yogurt topped with homemade granola and fresh fruit, while my sister had scrambled eggs. We were both very happy with our meals, and, as it was for our entire experience at Brook Farm Inn, the level of service and attention was so impressive. What a treat.

Brook Farm Inn is located at 15 Hawthorne Street in Lenox, Massachusetts. Breakfast is served daily and included with your stay at this elegant 1882 Victorian home turned inn. Visit their website to learn more + book your visit.

Lunch at Haven Cafe + Bakery

After a morning visit to The Mount (my absolute favorite spot in the area) and some shopping in town, we made our way to Haven Cafe + Bakery for lunch. This meal felt like a real highlight of the trip. Both the meal and service were excellent, and it was so nice to relax and chat with our iced coffee and iced green tea lemonade while we waited for our meal. We grabbed a table by the window and sort of got swept up in the chatter and buzz of the cafe. I ordered the avocado toast and my sister had a chicken sandwich. Do I regret not doubling back for a sweet treat for the road? Yes. Will we be back ASAP? Also yes.

Haven Cafe + Bakery is located at 8 Franklin Street Lenox, Massachusetts and is currently open 6 days a week for breakfast and lunch, dine-in or take-out (closed Tuesdays). Please visit their website to learn more.

Dinner at Gateways Inn

After checking in at the Gateways Inn and freshening up in our room, my sister and I made our way downstairs to the inn’s dining room for a truly exceptional meal. We split an order of their gazpacho to start (great move, trust me). For dinner, I had their heirloom tomato and burrata salad with shaved asparagus, sunflower sprouts, and a Banyuls vinaigrette… plus a side of parmesan french fries with garlic aioli because… of course. I snapped a photo of the dining room the following morning, but it was much more spirited during dinner, complete with a crowd enjoying the bar and live music in an adjacent room.

Breakfast at Gateways Inn

Breakfast at Gateways Inn is served in their Rockwell Room, which is located at the front of the inn and has great views of their side garden and stunning summer limelight hydrangeas.

I enjoyed the vanilla yogurt parfait with locally-made Greek yogurt, strawberries, rhubarb, and their house-made granola. My sister went with the avocado tartine with a poached egg. Everything was perfectly light and fresh– the perfect last meal in Lenox before getting on the road to head back down the Cape!

Gateways Inn is located at 51 Walker Street in Lenox, Massachusetts. Breakfast is included with your stay, and reservations are available for dinner, as well as weekend lunch and brunch. They also offer catering and to-go picnics. Please visit their website to learn more.

With so many incredible culinary options right in town, Lenox is a must-visit on your next trip out to the Berkshires! Many thanks to Visit Lenox and these amazing restaurants and inns for hosting us!

Also On Tap for Today:

• Speaking of food: We’re off Cape so I put in my WECO order for today!
• How to (ethically) get rid of your unwanted stuff via Wired
• Pray for me — the playroom needs an overhaul (related to above article lol)

What’s the best meal you’ve enjoyed lately?

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Looking for a little inspiration? Here’s my itinerary for the perfect Nantucket day trip:

Traveling to and from Nantucket

We have a few great options for getting to and from the island of Nantucket, and while I’m sure flying is perfectly lovely, I’m partial to the ferries, which dock right downtown — ideal for a day trip to the island. The length and speed of your voyage will depend on where you’re departing from, of course. Regardless of which boat you’re taking, don’t forget to go out on the deck as you approach Nantucket to get the best view of Brant Point lighthouse.

• From Hyannis: The Hy-Line Cruises high speed ferry will get you from Hyannis Harbor to Nantucket in just about an hour. They provide year-round service, with upwards of 9 departure times during the summer. They own a large parking lot directly across from the ferry terminal (cash only — they do not accept cards, I am pretty sure the max fee is $28 during the peak of summer… which is great, because that’s exactly how much cash I cobbled together on my last trip over after forgetting to stop at the ATM ), as well as a satellite lot with shuttle service, located a mile away.
• From Hyannis: The Steamship Authority operates both slow boat + high speed ferries from Hyannis Harbor (slow boat takes about 2 and 1/4 hours, fast ferry is an hour long ride).
• From Harwich (lower Cape): The Freedom Ferry travels from Saquatucket Harbor in Harwich Port to Nantucket in 80 minutes. Parking is free for daytrippers (there is also overnight parking available).
• From New Bedford, MA or New York City or Highlands, NJ: The high-speed Seastreak catamaran sails directly to Nantucket from New Bedford, and stops in Oaks Bluff, Martha’s Vineyard en route to Nantucket from NY and NJ. One major perk to the Seastreak is their dockside valet parking (I’ve sailed with them from New Bedford to MVY and was so impressed with this option).

What to do on your perfect Nantucket day trip

The ferries all dock right downtown, so you won’t have to go far to enjoy the charm of the island. I love strolling the brick and cobblestone streets, popping into shops and snapping photos of the incredible landscaping architecture and stunning window boxes along the way. I could (and have!) spent an entire day just strolling… so be sure to leave plenty of time in your schedule for exploring.

Nantucket has public restrooms located downtown at 25 Federal Street (backside of the visitors center) and 25 Commercial Street. Both locations are clean, well-maintained, and clearly marked. There are also restrooms located inside the Hy-Line offices adjacent to the dock.

A few of my favorite shops:

• Space on Old South Wharf: Visit for the impeccably curated mix of new + vintage home goods and apparel/accessories, open seasonally (May through the Christmas Stroll)
• Hospital Thrift: Shop for second-hand treasures, while supporting Nantucket Cottage Hospital (a win/win)
• For Now: This seasonal pop-up features the best small, local brands — apparel, accessories, home goods and body care, open through Labor Day
• Abigail Fox Designs: Woman-owned and run boutique located just across from the Hy-Line terminal, Abigail Fox Designs is worth stopping for beautiful dresses (they carry their own designs, along with a few of my favorite brands like Navy Bleu), jewelry, accessories, and gifts

Walk or bike to the Brant Point Lighthouse: This picturesque cutie of a lighthouse (the shortest in New England, apparently) is located at the end of Easton Street and the grounds are open year-round. It’s the perfect spot to watch the tides change and ferry boats pass. *Please note that there is no parking at the lighthouse, nor are the grounds especially accessible. Reaching the lighthouse requires an approximately 1/10 mile walk across sand.

Visit the Nantucket Whaling Museum at 13 Broad Street: The Whaling Museum features both permanent and special exhibits and covers four centuries of island history. Be sure to visit the museum’s roof deck for an unmatched view of the harbor and neighboring streets.

Cool off at Children’s Beach: Grab a lemonade or waffle cone at Juice Bar and make your way to Children’s Beach to cool off. The beach has a small playground, public restrooms, picnic tables, and very calm waters.

Cruise Nantucket harbor: Enjoy the island from a different vantage point! There are number of charter companies operating out of Nantucket harbor, but I absolutely love the charm of Nantucket By Water’s Minke, a 26′ Classic Crosby Launch with a full canopy top, in particular.

Admire the homes along Old North Wharf: You’ll likely recognize the endlessly instagrammed Constitution, Mary F. Slade, Wharf Rat Club and the other charming homes along Old North Wharf. They’re especially charming when the climbing roses and hydrangea are in bloom, but they’re worth a visit year-round. (Don’t be a creep, though, obv — these are private homes.)

Grab lunch at Provisions: Do I daydream about Provisions’ sandwiches on cold, dreary days? Yes. Have I grabbed an extra Caprese sandwich for the ferry ride home? Also, yes. It’s often busy, so I recommend avoiding peak times or simply enjoying the people watching outside by the Gazebo while you wait for your order. Provisions is located at 3 Harbor Square.

Seriously, though. Get the second sandwich.

Also On Tap for Today:

• I love listening to and reading Mary Bergman’s Nantucket essays on CAI (the Cape + Islands’ NPR station) and think you will too
• This is my current favorite day trip tote (here are a few ideas for a cheeky monogram!)
• Finishing this book + hopefully my little brain absorbed/retained all the important lessons

Where would you head to for your perfect day trip?

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*last month was one of my lowest billing months as a freelancer lol

**my total yield this summer so far has been 1 dozen cherry tomatoes, 2 cucumbers, 4 chamomile flowers, and a few bunches of various herbs soooo….

***debatable on so many levels

Anyway, one thing you can always count on me for is a solid salad recipe. Always ask the vegetarian to bring the salads to the party. Always. We had a rare four-sibling-weekend when my entire family was on the Cape, so we had everyone over to our house for a little cookout. Nick ran the grill (obviously), while I arranged cute tomatoes on cute plates. A match made at Clarke’s in Faneuil Hall so many, many years ago.

Anyway: Summer food is just the best. Zero debate.

Here’s a super easy, delicious summer tomato and corn salad for your next get together:

Summer tomato and corn salad

Ingredients:

• 3-4 ears of corn, cooked
• 2-3 cups of cherry tomatoes, halved or quartered
• 1/2 cup basil, chopped
• 1/2 English cucumber, chopped or torn
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 1/2 red onion, diced
• Drizzle of olive oil
• Flaky salt
• Black pepper

Directions:

1. Cook corn to your liking — I feel like every family has their way of cooking corn on the cob, so you know… go with that. I like to add freshly husked corn to a stock pot, fill so water is about an inch or so over the corn, salt and bring to a rolling boil. You do you.
2. Allow corn to cool and slice kernels from each cob (I do this vertically, but again… you do you).
3. Add to a bowl with tomatoes, onion, bell pepper, basil, and cucumber and gently mix.
4. Drizzle with olive oil and top with salt and pepper to taste.
5. Refrigerate before serving.

vegan + gluten free

I mean, per usual, you probably could have intuited the recipe from the photo — and you know I am not that adept at measuring… but the results are (almost always) legit. Enjoy!

Also On Tap for Today:

• More lazy/easy vegetarian recipes for ya
• I don’t really want to admit this (to myself or anyone else), but there are only 3 full weeks of summer vacation left… so I’m getting us a tiny bit prepared for back-to-school
• Why we are so drawn to those videos of people restocking their kitchens (just me?) via The Washington Post

What’s your favorite summer dish to share?

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It occurred to me last week that this is my 42nd summer down the Cape… so while I still have plenty to learn and experience, I mostly know what I’m talking about. So if you have questions about visiting Cape Cod (with or without kids and/or a dog ), I’ll happily put together a more thoughtful (and thorough) guide for you!

Also On Tap for Today:

• Proof that we made it to a Cape League baseball game: Here’s Birdie being such a good boy at the Harwich Mariners’ Bark in the Park night
• Here’s the scoop on the Museum of Natural History’s butterfly house + pollinator path
• Fascinating read from TIME: How climate change is affecting how we dream

What’s left on your summer bucket list? And what Cape questions can I answer for you?

The post Our Cape Cod summer bucket list appeared first on ON TAP FOR TODAY.

Here’s what I’ve been up to.

The only thing shorter than peony season is my current attention span. I’ve tried to finish this post like 12 times.

Life lately

*Almost* Cape summer: One final hockey practice and a few errands stand between us and Cape summer, aka the reward for living through New England winters, vitamin D deficiencies and all. Granted, this past winter was very mild… but that one cold snap did kill our hydrangeas, knockout roses, and butterfly bushes… so, I feel entitled to non-financial compensation in the form of many beach days, ice cream runs, and drive-in movies. I can barely contain myself. I’ll share our Cape Cod summer bucket list in another post. Why? Because your girl needs to save some ideas if I want to post more than once this quarter… Get ready (but for safety and reality’s sake, please don’t hold your breath) for farmers market hauls, onion ring recommendations, and progress in my little garden ahead.

Meditation teacher training update: The update is that there is no update, as my hours are complete but I still need to sit for my final exam. My actual daily meditation practice, however, is as solid as ever… even on the days when it feels hard (which is most…). I’m excited to be able to share some tips and classes with you all in the fall (that’s the goal — get it done before the end of September — please hold me to this). I feel like I should wait until I have the stamped certificate. Do people sue folks for bad meditation advice?

The TBR pile: I could not tell you the last time I watched a whole show, but I have been devouring books on my Kindle while a growing physical pile of books looms large on my bedside table. I can’t say no to a bookstore. Imagine if there was a Supermarket Sweep: Bookstore edition? I would probably faint. Need recommendations? I’m your girl.

WFH/WFBeach: I’ve been living life on an academic calendar since I was five-ish, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. So while I am still working over the summer (for my lovely freelance clients and a fantastic local agency), it will be accomplished in fits and starts… writing, editing, and creating content in the hockey rink during camps and practices, in my car by the tennis courts, at the kitchen table while the kids are reading or sleeping or otherwise safely occupied, and yes… likely at the beach. I will never not be grateful for this flexibility (and no, this is not me trying to get you to join a boss babe cult where the only perk is working from home… I literally have zero to offer you… but I do owe you a lot for supporting me on this platform). I gained so much working in an office for years, but don’t see myself commuting in hard pants and heels (my elder millennial arches could neverrrrr) again any time soon.

My lawn care era: I have a new personality and it revolves around grass clippings. I’ve recently become my father, in so much as I have developed a passion for mowing the lawn. It started on a random Saturday afternoon, when the light caught a slightly overgrown patch of lawn in such a way that it caused my eyelid to twitch. Nick had been especially busy with work, so I was like — you know what, let me take this bull by the horns (but like, in a gentle way). And now I fully understand why my dad used to spend literal hours mowing the lawn when we were kids. You can jam out to classic rock (am I making a lawn mowing playlist for you… of course), no one talks to you (and if they do, you can pretend not to hear them), no one can get close enough to touch you because blades (I love my children, obviously, but am prone to feeling over-touched by the end of the day), and it’s a project you can accomplish start to finish. I crave that kind of satisfaction in this phase of life. I’ve got dedicated lawn mowing shoes (old Hokas — again with the millennial arches), a belt bag worn as possibly originally intended (fanny-pack style) to hold my phone and AirPod case and maybe some snacks, and a non-vintage Quebec Nordiques hat to really tie the whole look together. Can I make Hot Girl Lawn Mowing a thing? Stay tuned. Or whatever.

If you’re one of the 2 (that number feels high, I need to be humbled) people that is like, Please go on… we need to hear more about this? I’ve got you. Even made a little shopping list for you (don’t skip the SPF). We have an electric mower, so it’s quiet and as eco-friendly as possible without being one of those old timey sharp rolling ones. I leave the bag off, so it sort of leaves a light trail of clippings in my wake. I like to think this is like mulching as I go, but I am probably wrong… because I know almost nothing about lawn maintenance… beyond that it’s weirdly relaxing.

A decent swath of our back lawn is already clover, and I see us switching over to full clover sooner rather than later. It’s good for the bunnies and the bees. And it doesn’t feel like dead straw underfoot if it doesn’t get watered for months on end (file under: last year’s drought). Speaking of water, I did a little partnership with Rachio earlier this year (they must have sensed the inevitable approach of my lawn care era) and cannot say enough good things about their products (we have the Rachio 3 for 8 zones, which covers our front and backyard). We were already using one of their systems at the Cape, so it was kind of a no brainer. It syncs with their weather hub, and will limit water usage if rain is in the forecast, for example.

So anyway, yes… lawns. Wow. I can’t believe I dedicated three full paragraphs to that. Shall we quit while we’re (questionably) ahead? See ya soon. xx

Also On Tap for Today:

• One more thing about supportive shoes and feet and whatever: Millennials accidentally saved America’s feet via The Atlantic
• Opal Lee, Fort Worth’s Grandmother of Juneteenth is Still Marching at 96 via Texas Monthly
• Packing for summer and sports and car travel (and like, everything else) in these bins makes me feel like an organized, cool, and collected person

Long time, no see. How are ya, friends?

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You know I love a good boat + tote. Almost as much as I love a solid skincare routine. Almost as much as I love semi-over-sharing. So here are my January empties.

Oh, but first, a few notes: I do occasionally receive complimentary products. In this month’s case, I paid for each of them except for the Kiehl’s Retinol serum. You do not need a ton of products, nor do you need to spend a fortune on skincare. A solid routine tailored to your skin’s needs and your personal budget is very doable. As a skincare enthusiast (for lack of better description) and someone who has several freelance clients in the beauty industry, products abound over here. I’ve included affiliate links to my January empties, but I would be thrilled to share recommendations at different price points too. Please always feel free to reach out… but first, drink some water.

JANUARY EMPTIES: SKINCARE

Step 1: Cleanse

• Sahajan Ayurvedic Blend Essential Cleansing Oil
• Arcana Lightwave Enzyme Cleansing Balm

I’m a big fan of both of these cleansers. And as someone who grew up in the 80’s and early 90’s using the equivalent of sandpaper in a tube (St. Ives Apricot Scrub, obv) and oil-free everything, cleansing with oil feels illegal… but honestly, what a game changer. They quite literally melt away the day’s makeup (waterproof mascara included) and grime, without stripping or irritating skin. Both products worked beautifully and lasted 2-3 months each. Sadly, Arcana went out of business at the end of 2022, and this was the last of my Enzyme Cleansing Balm stash (I repurchased several times last year). I will be repurchasing the Sahajan oil, for sure.

As for the sandpaper, I do use an exfoliating cleanser 2-3 times a week, but I promise it’s not St. Ives.

Step 2: Tone

• Nini Organics Rain Hydrating Skin Essence
• Bluh Alchemy Toning Elixir

These are both repurchases for me and work beautifully as part of my morning and evening routine, but also throughout the day when my skin is feeling dry or tight. During warmer months, I keep these in the fridge for an extra boost.

Step 3: Vitamin C

• Oio Lab The Future Is Bright Brightening Facial Oil

I usually add a few drops of vitamin c serum to whatever moisturizer or facial serum I’m using each morning to brighten and even skin tone… but also to feel like a cute little chemist. I liked, but didn’t love this one. I believe this came in one of my Beauty Heroes subscription boxes, so I did not pay full price. Would not repurchase.

Step 4: Moisturize

• Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream

This is another repurchased item for me — it’s sort of like the perfect every day/night cream and has been around for ages as a cult fave for a reason. Lightweight and quickly absorbed, but very hydrating. No brainer skincare is kind of my favorite.

Step 5: SPF

• Tula Skincare Radiant Skin Brightening Serum Skin Tint Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 30 (Shade 09 light-medium warm)

This was a bit of an impulse buy at the end of the summer, but I’ve seen it all over TikTok lately. One 1 oz tube lasted me nearly 3 months with daily wear, which feels like a win. It provides medium coverage (the freckles still show; I am not a full coverage girl), goes on really well with a flat top foundation brush (I think it’s recommended you apply with your hands, but hey…), and lasts all day. If I am going to be outside longer than 30 minutes, I’ll use my regular SPF in addition… yes, even in the dead of New England winter. I prefer this over the ILIA Skin Tint I had been previously using (worth noting: ILIA’s is SPF 40 and $48; Tula has a more inclusive shade range and retails for $40).

PM

• Kiehl’s Retinol Skin-Renewing Daily Micro-Dose Serum (gifted)

This is a fantastic gentle retinol option for my fellow sensitive skin friends. I’m always a little leery of trying retinol products, but I had zero irritation or flaking and by the end of a month’s use, definitely noticed brighter, more firm skin. True test for gifted products: yes, would spend my own cash money on this (I tend to order Kiehl’s products at Nordstrom or Ulta to rack up the points).

Extras

• Equilibria CBD Mint Daily Drops
• Maya Chia Power Fol Advanced Multi-Correctional Scalp and Hair Treatment

The Maya Chia spray is sort of like skincare for your hair and scalp. It smells great, feels good, and I do believe it helped (at least slightly) with hair regrowth/thickness. I have not repurchased because I’m fairly stocked on hair oils at the moment, but would consider ordering when I run out. The Equilibria is an old standby, and monthly re-order for me (here’s a more comprehensive Equilibria review, if you’re curious).

Aaaaand here’s the current skincare situation.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Infinitely more important than skincare: Tyre Nichols and the End of Police Reform by Zak Cheney-Rice for the New Yorker
• Likely more helpful than skincare recommendations: Avoiding overcommitting and bowing out gracefully: How to Say No After Saying Yes
• Setting 400 reminders so I don’t forget to register my kids for nature camp (nerds after my own heart!) like I did last year…

What does your skincare routine look like? Do you love peeping everyone’s empties, etc. as much as I do?

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WHAT *EVEN* IS SELF CARE?

I think, in the US at least, self care is seen as something shop-able— something with a price tag— something we think we need to throw money at *and* something that feels indulgent or selfish— likely because we’ve also been told self care is a woman’s thing.  (Why? I’m guessing it’s because women are essentially doing the heavy lifting of what amounts to self care *for* men, but hey…)

But in my opinion, at least, most of what we can do to care for ourselves is less of a money or product thing, and more of an investment of time and energy. And a lot of that is digging into our attitudes towards ourselves and the way we talk to or interact with ourselves.  And there’s kind of no getting around that hard stuff… and when you’re having a rough day, like— that inner work might be the last thing you want to be tackling. Which brings me to this other myth that self care is what you do when you’re having a low time, or an off day, or you’re frazzled, or burnt out.   Is that when you probably need the most care? Of course.  It’s that when you’re the most able to provide that for yourself? Maybe — but likely not.  

STOCKPILING SELF CARE

So that’s why I like to practice what I think of as stockpiling self care on the days when I do have a bit more energy, or patience, or time, or resources.  This stock piling of self care might look like:

• Buying a few Trader Joe’s freezer meals to keep on hand — whether to feed myself or to give myself a night off from making a meal for my family
• Sticking an extra trash bag in the bin, so that when I empty it— there’s already a bag there (this is so stupid, but the relief I feel is very real when I see that little bag liner waiting for me )
• Clearing out a cluttered area of the home or tackling a similar project that’s been taking up both physical and mental space for me
• Taking 10 minutes and schedule all my necessary doctor, dentist, haircut, auto care, vet, etc. appointments for the next few months

WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE TO PARENT OR BEFRIEND YOURSELF?

Beyond tangible tasks and actions, self care is all about the relationship we foster with ourselves.  Think about all the relationships you have with other people — friend, maybe partner, maybe parent, child, sibling, neighbor — and all the really good, healthy ways you show up in those relationships. Can you be those things and that person for yourself? Can you mother yourself in the best, healthiest, most life giving ways you mother other people? Can you listen to, support, counsel, and laugh with yourself in the way that you do with a dear friend? 

Can you save some of your best interactions and energy for yourself? And not in a way that deprives your other relationships — but in a way that you consciously don’t deprive yourself. Can you feed yourself, for example, as well as you feed your family or roommates? I’m talking meeting your own basic needs — but also how you talk to yourself, how patient you are with yourself, how curious you allow yourself to be, how forgiving you are with yourself, how you care for your physical body— all of this. 

BUILDING YOUR SELF CARE PALACE

I also like to think of self care as having levels — there’s the gold standard (what I do to feel my absolute best version of myself), the baseline (what I need to feel comfortable, and what I can reasonably expect of myself on most days), and the basement (doing the absolute least, but it’s something).

• Side note, but an important one, so I’m making it a bullet point:  Something is better than nothing.  And sometimes doing nothing *is* doing something — resting or saying no is making a choice and it can be a really safe, healthy, loving, restorative action.

I guess if we were going to see that basement and building analogy through, it would be penthouse, ground floor, and basement— so if you want to think of your self care routines in terms of a palace — it might look like this (let’s use getting ready for bed as the sample routine):

Penthouse: Full bedtime routine (skincare with maybe a couple extra steps, dental care, write out gratitude, read for 30 minutes, meditate, heating pad)

Ground floor: Wash face, moisturize, brush teeth, think of 1-2 things I’m grateful for, listen to calming sounds (for me, it’s crashing waves on my Hatch)

Basement: Use a face wipe, brush teeth, take a couple deep breaths

You can go through this exercise for all parts of your day — meals, movement, work routines, family engagements, how you navigate certain relationships — and ask yourself: 

• What’s the ideal situation?
• What is enough?
• What is your sort of bare bones/lowest spend of energy situation?

IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT (with a few caveats, obv)

Answering questions like those above, and setting up systems for yourself, will come from simply knowing yourself and trusting yourself… and this takes practice.  I’m nearly 41 and I’m still finding ways to surprise (and sometimes concern ) myself…

Knowing what makes us feel good, and (assuming it doesn’t harm yourself or others) leaning unapologetically into those things, is excellent self care.  I quite literally keeps lists of things that make be feel great (sometimes not immediately, but still)— it’s silly but I swear it helps.  Want to see a few of those things?

• Quiet time (like, going to bed v early and reading or scrolling on my phone in the dark without self judgement)
• Meditation (even/especially when it’s hard)
• Cute ice cubes
• Reading whatever I want + not finishing books/articles that aren’t doing it for me
• Having one empty shelf or drawer (and freeing up visual clutter, in general)
• Sound machine/wakeup lamp + two fans + one heating pad + my favorite body oil + a generally extra bedtime routine
• Nature/outside time
• Comfort reads (or shows or podcasts)– what interests me (i.e. politics + crime) is not always what makes me feel good– so this is its own category (think Smartless and Derry Girls)
• Maintaining baselines systems (for example: the things. I almost always have in my bag, car, and pantry– and enough to share because being prepared to swoop in for other people is the ultimate for me)
• Portioning out my vitamins and medicine for two weeks
• Hiding cash + mints + other surprises for myself in various drawers and pockets

And yes, some of the things on my list have an add to cart vibe— but it’s really the intentionality, the preparing baseline quality experiences for the days when we only have basement energy, of sharing the best parts of ourselves with ourselves — that are at the heart of all of this. 

Looking for a cute little worksheet to help you cultivate your own “what feels great” list, sort through the palace of your own self care, or make a plan for stockpiling? Join my newsletter list + I’ll gladly get that out to you.

As always, I’m truly grateful + love having you part of my community.

xx Elizabeth

The post What *even* is self care? appeared first on ON TAP FOR TODAY.

If you already have a tried-and-true chocolate chip cookie recipe, you’ll simply want to add approximately 2 cups of potato chips (while I’m usually a Cape Cod Potato Chips girl… I’m very partial to Ruffles Original in this case) to your dough and mix only until the chips are incorporated. You don’t want to over-mix or break the chips down too much.

Chocolate Chip Potato Chip Cookies

Makes approximately 24 cookies

Ingredients

• 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 sticks of unsalted butter, softened (not melted)
• 3/4 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups chocolate chips (milk or semi-sweet)
• 2 cups ridged potato chips (Ruffles)
• Optional: flaky sea salt (such as Maldon on MV Sea Salt)

Directions

1. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt — set aside
2. In the bowl of your stand mixer (or with a hand mixer), cream together butter and both sugars
3. Add eggs and vanilla extract — use the paddle attachment
4. Slowly add your dry mixture (flour, baking soda, salt) to your stand-mixer bowl, and mix on medium until well combined
5. Add chocolate chips
6. On a low setting, add potato chips and mix until chips are combined — but be careful to not over-mix
7. Refrigerate dough for 1-2 hours
8. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (350 F if you are using a nonstick pan or silpat mat)
9. Using a dough scoop, arrange cookies on your cookie sheets, top with flaky sea salt (optional), and bake for 12-15 minutes — you’ll want the edges to be slightly browned)
10. Cool on a wire rack… and enjoy that salty/sweet!

I just made a big batch of these for Teacher Appreciation Week at the kids’ school… and had to set aside a few for us. A+ all around.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Another fun + easy project for Teacher Appreciation Week or end of the year teacher gifts: personalized herb gardens
• A much needed desk clear off
• A great resource: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Emotional Regulation

The post Chocolate Chip Potato Chip Cookies appeared first on ON TAP FOR TODAY.