On The Bounce

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 16:27:00 +0000

Giggs of Memory

United 3 1 Spurs

A single piece of brilliance from Nani and two Ryan Giggs penalties sent Manchester United back to the Barclays Premier League summit at Old Trafford.

According to Carlo Ancelotti, the Blues will spend the day practicing, before taking in a movie. Anything to avoid hearing the United score. Good luck with that. A few games left, fewer nails to bite. My money's on United.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:00:00 +0000

Gunners Gunned Down

1 Arsenal 3 United

Another stellar performance saw United do the double against the Gunners at the Emirates. The Reds 2-0 first-half lead deflated Arsenal’s hopes of a result. Of course the Red Army were in full voice, sending Arsenal fans to the exits long before the end of the match.

Nani stole the show. Many United fans have lost faith in Nani, along with Park. But the pair shut down the critic's rants with clutch performances, precision passing, scoring, and blazing pace.

It's become obvious that Rooney has benefited from Ronaldo’s departure, scoring his century for the Reds. He easily could have put a few more in the back of the net. The same can be said of Nani. His star is about to shine even brighter, and Park may have cemented his place in the starting rotation.

Now we have to support Arsenal in their weekend clash with Chelsea. Hopefully they'll hit their stride then fade away into oblivion.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:38:00 +0000

City Gutted, Gunners Next

Save the date: 28/2/10, Wembley. That's when United will add another piece of silverware to their overcrowded cabinet. This after Wayne Rooney clinched a late winner in an enthralling two-legged last four tie with their hated city neighbors. The future is looking rosy, if not Red. Of course it went off with City. It always does.

Heads up Villa. We're gonna do ya. But with the Prem and European fixtures fast approaching, the Reds' celebrations will have to be contained. And no fixture looms larger than this weekend's trip to the Emerites, where the hit and miss Gunners will have to show what they're made of.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:39:00 +0000

City Blues Turn Red

Nani thinks United's 4-0 Hull City victory has put the Reds in the right frame of mind for Wednesday's Carling Cup semi with the hated Citizens. Especially given Rooney's recent form, nodding to the striker's 4 goal, one man demolishon crew mentality.

Meanwhile, Wellbeck is on loan to Preston North End for the rest of the season. That may well be good for him, given his recent bench-riding and lackluster starts and stops.

For now United's top of the Prem, with Arsenal looming on the horizon. The plot should thicken over the next month. By March, we'll know who's who. My money's on United, natch.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:34:00 +0000

Go Fletch

Reds Face
Burnely Minus
Star Midfielder

Sad really. The Blues were supposed to lift our spirits. But only left us, well, you know. Fletcher's sending off didn't help. Stupid trip on his part. But a second yellow? Hardly. "Saturday was disappointing because I was constantly being fouled and when I said something the ref said to me it is a man's game," he told MEN Sport.

Sir Alex was none too pleased. But then he hasn't had much to gloat about lately. Leeds did 'em good. That's the one that will sting the longest. Both in pride, and pounds.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:38:00 +0000

When things go
Pear Shaped...

You go to Birmingham. It beats Leeds. But more on that gutting later. The upside of the holiday fixture cluster is that the Reds are trailing Chelski in the EPL standings by a mere two points. Perfect timing, as most of their starting prima ballerinas depart for the African Cup of Nations. Enjoy it while you can. We'll do 'em good soon enough.

Birmingham a go
B-City are "extremely confident" Saturday's St. Andrew's match will go on, despite arctic conditions in the Midlands. The club's official website goes on to say: "There is nothing to prevent this match from taking place, at present." Except fear that is. The Blues are middling in the mire. How did they even reach that summit? And whom have they dismantled en route? Absolutely no one.

We all hate Leeds scum
Why them? Why now? WTF? "Well I didn't expect that, I must admit" bitched a deflated Sir Alex in the post-mortem press conference. That, after a performance that lacked determination and grit to their lowly, yet despised rivals of old, in a passionate FA 3rd Round Cup tie? Oi ya Leeds faithful. Shut it. We were battered then fried. And that's that.

Spare us the romantic gushing of yesteryear
Despite the supposed inert desire associated with ‘the oldest Cup competition in the world®’, the Red United faced a collection of hacks two divisions beneath them; 42 places below (that’s right, I counted). From Yorkshire. At OldTrafford. In January. And lost.

There are no words.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:05:00 +0000

Cave-in Cottage
Fullham 3

0 United

It wasn't pretty. In fact, last weekend's southern exposure tore the clothes off United's limping defense, leaving their sloppy midfield and ineffectual attack looking back in anger.

Exposed, exploited, and hung out to dry, it's not just the back line SAF is worried about."We lost a terribly soft goal for the first one and that gave them a platform to build on," Sir Alex lamented.

While the manager acknowledged the wounded warriors, he also felt repulsed at the way the Reds gifted a breakthrough to the home side. Paul Scholes' uncharacteristic error allowed Mr. Danny Murphy to step forward and tear down Tomasz Kuszczak. Por-fa-pa-leese.

Then there was Bobby Zamorra: A one man wrecking crew that left an indelible imprint on United that wont' soon be forgotten, at least not by me. Match highlights included a Liverpool loss, and more importantly, a Chelsea tie.

Check back after Boxing Day for a better assessment of United's championship reign...and future. Merry Christmas for now. And in the spirit of giving and taking, may Santa be especially kind to the nice (Utd.) and horribly stingy to the naughty (who are ya?).

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:27:00 +0000

Level Headed

United 3 0 Wolves

The Reds came roaring back yesterday, and were scarcely troubled by a visiting side featuring 10 changes to that which overcame Tottenham last weekend. The the game was done and dusted after Rooney's penalty and a powerful Vidic header at half-time. When Valencia capped a stunning move with a blistering finish on 65 minutes, it was merely a matter of reducing Chelsea's goal-difference advantage.

"We got a break with the penalty kick," admitted Sir Alex Ferguson. "I think Wolves made it difficult for us with a good team effort. They tackled everywhere, they pressed the ball, and made it hard for us to get our continuity.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:49:00 +0000

Climbing Up

0 West Ham 4 United

Scholes (45), Gibson (61), Valencia (70), Rooney (72)

In true United form, the Reds moved within two points of Prem leaders Chelsea this weekend with a 4-nil drubbing of the Hammers at Upton Park. Last year the punters counted United out, prematurely crowning Liverpool champs. That was just before United moved back into pole position, decimating all comers on their way to reclaiming what was rightfully theirs.

Flashback: The sousers went south and the the good guys went north. You can always count on United for drama. Just never count them out.

Next up: United travel to Wolfsburg, needing just a point to cement first place in their Champions league group. A defeat by a 1-0 scoreline or by more than two goals will result in Sir Alex’s side finishing second and landing arguably a more difficult last 16 draw.

Feed the scousers. Let them know it's Christmas time. Well almost.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Reds Back in Black

Portsmouth 1 4 United

There was no doubt which team aimed to win at Fratton Park last Saturday. A hat trick for Rooney, a century for Giggs, and a buttoned-up defense showed who wanted it more. The pk called against United was pure fantasy. But the good guys didn't let that miscue diminish their drive. Beauty.

Meanwhile Tottenham will be travelling to Old Trafford with high hopes. Unbeaten in three games, including a 9-1 mauling of Wigan a little over a week ago, they sit comfortably (for now) in the Prem's third position. After so many years of "coulda shouda's", Spurs may finally be making a serious challenge for the top four.

Danny Wellback has been spurred on by the trust of SIR - and aims to repay the faith.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:36:00 +0000

Defensive Woes

United will stick with the same back four that shut out Everton last Saturday (again) when Besiktas visit Old Trafford on Wednesday night.

Sir Alex Ferguson is down to the bare bones at the back, as those four players - Rafael, Wes Brown, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra - were the only four defenders at training on Tuesday morning.

Brown and Vidic have had their problems this year, while Rafael has been a pleasant surprise, given his age and experience. But Evra - that's a tough one. He's been keeping United dominant on many occasions. Just hope the French World Cup win hasn't gone from one crook's hand to a solid player's head. Peu probable!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:38:00 +0000

Reds get the Blues

Chelsea 1 United 0

Sure United were excellent at Stamford Bridge. They usually are. But once again they left empty handed. Or 6 six points down, depending on your glass.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s well formed game-plan went pear shaped after the Reds conceded a goal from a seriously questionable second-half free-kick, which led to Chelsea captain, and chief opportunist, John Terry’s winner.

The Reds dominated possession for large periods of the game. Darren Fletcher and Wayne Rooney both looked outstanding. But the overriding feeling, other than dread, is injustice, as the Reds slipped to third behind Chelski and the team who's name we shall not speak.

A few weeks back it was the scousers giving me angina. As it turns out they're not the biggest threat. Chelsea is. Sadly United can't seem seem to conquer either. Yet.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:15:00 +0000

The Great Escape

United 3 CSKA Moscow 3

It wasn't pretty, but it was pretty tense. United managed to eek out a point at OT, playing catch up to CSKA in a sloppy, disorganized Champions League performance.

Goals in the final six minutes from Paul Scholes and Antonio Valencia - albeit via a huge deflection - saved United from a first Champions League home defeat since February 2005, after CSKA Moscow had stunned Old Trafford by roaring into a 3-1 lead.

They'll have to do better against Chelsea at the weekend. While CSKA were out of of their league, it looks like the Blues may the class of the EPL. They're certainly a side that will make you pay if you let your guard down.

Get fit in a hurry boys. Terry big boots and his band of despicable cohorts are up for it. Are you?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:57:00 +0000

Na na na na na,
Ober- Obertan, Obertan...

Barnsley 0-2 United

!Vive la différence! After waiting three months for Gabriel Obertan's senior debut, the Frenchman delivered an impressive performance, switching flanks and keeping pace with United's second best.

Sir Alex must have given the big boys a hiding after their embarrassing performance at Anfield. Or perhaps the millionaires were just 'resting' while trying to find the plot. Either way The Reds inched closer to the Carling Cup title by dismantling Barnsley 2-nil in solid form. Goals were supplied by Danny Welbeck and Michael Owen, with a sending off for Gary Neville.

Next up Blackburn at home on Halloween. Hopefully United won't be tricked and show up in last week's costume. Scary.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:50:00 +0000

Two to the bad

2 Liverpool 0 United

The scoucers willed a 2-nil defeat at Anfield yesterday, thoroughly outplaying United in a heated, penalty-filled match. The contest went off without beach balls and excuses. At the end of the day, there was no excuse for United's erratic defense and absentee offense. Liverpool won fair and square. That's hard to swallow.

“It was a disappointing performance and Liverpool were better,” SAF told MUTV. “We never got any luck in terms of refereeing decisions, but we have to hold our hands up: we weren’t good enough.”

A few sending offs for both sides made a messy match harder to watch. Best match of the day belonged to West Ham - tying 'the team who's name we shall not speak' in a surprising comeback. Well done Hammers.

Another London match involved the NE Patriots. Wembley was a library. Don't think the crowd knew an NFL match lasts 4-5 hours. When televised overseas, the networks edit most of the timeouts, reviews, and all the other crap that has made viewing an American Football match near impossible.

Let's make a deal England: If you want a football team, we'll gladly trade the Jets, Lions, and Bengals for United's reserves. Fair and square.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:49:00 +0000

Hand in glove

United 2 1 Bolton

For some sides, life's a beach - or beach ball. For others, it's simply a day at the beach. United dominated Bolton at home yesterday, enjoying the spoils of an intimidating atmosphere, a title-winning attitude, and Edwin van der Sar back where he belongs: Blocking goals and yelling at his defense.

After cruising through the opening 60 minutes and creating enough chances to have hit double figures, Sir Alex's men ended the match clinging on to a narrow advantage and weathering a barrage of Bolton attacks.

One more thing: Sir Alex Ferguson has been charged with improper conduct by the Football Association, following his remarks about referee Alan Wiley. Even after his half-baked apology.

Stay tuned. After a midweek Champs clash with CSKA Moscow, the reds catch a wave at Anfield. Surfs up.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:33:00 +0000

COME ON YOU KNIGHTED

Spurs 1 United 3

Yesterday's United victory saw Spurs drop back where they belong, and United climb back to where they should be. Always a good fixture (if you support United) this one had it all. In between scoring, bookings, and a sending off, old man river showed he still has a few tricks up his sleeve.

"I'm proud that I have scored in every Premier League season but hopefully that is not it. I don't want it to be my goal for the season. Hopefully I will score more.

"I don't score as many as I used to but I try and score some important ones. The goal against Tottenham was probably one of them." Said Giggs.

Ando got his first Premiership goal. But to be fair, he hasn't seen that much action. Now with the Diva gone, he'll play a bigger role in the Red's scoring threat. Once again Rooney was everywhere. He's really playing his best football, and baring injury, I don't see why he can't score in double digits this season.

Next up Besiktas, followed by "The Derby." Bring on Tevez. Bring on that classless turd Emmanuel Adebayor. Bring on City.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:41:00 +0000

United 2

Rooney (59), Diaby (OG 64)

Gunners 1

Arshavin (40)

Lift a glass to the class of the league. Another tense north-south clash saw United swipe three points from the new kids on the block. After knocking around lesser opponents, the punters have all but crowned the Gooners league champs. Too bad Diaby didn't get the memo. Arsene was too busy kicking water bottles to read it. Meanwhile Berbatov memorized it.

This week the Bulgarain's laissez-faire pace was particularly noticeable. Outrun and outplayed by grandaddy Giggs, not to mention the ever-hustling Arshavin, Dimitar needs to reassess his role - perhaps with Newcastle or Millwall. Love to see him slow down the midfield in S. London. All that would remain is a hairnet and sneer. Seriously. Can you imagine Berbatov instigating a Keane/Vierra-esque pre-match punch up in the tunnel? Me neither.

Regardless, it was good result from a United side whose cast hasn't yet hardened. I'll wait 'til the Christmas fixtures to make my predictions. A least we already know who's naughty, and who's nice (he goes by the name of Wayne Rooney).

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:29:00 +0000

FRET NOT

5 United 0 Wigan

After several uncomfortable days on work detail, the usual suspects arrived to demolish the Latics in the late half of Saturday's lopsided northern faux-derby at the DW book depository and storage facility.

Rooney turned in a centurion effort, Berbatov put himself in the right place at the right time. And Owen, the new kid, looked promising. Nani's 85th minute free kick showed focus and precision. Backflips all around.

Don't order the champers just yet. The team whose name we shall not speak also put up some big numbers. Clash of the Titans 1 is fast approaching. The question is, who wants it more? Spurs anyone...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:16:00 +0000

37 TO GO

1 United 0 Birmingham

Perfection starts at home. Well maybe not perfection, but three points against a newly promoted Birmingham side that showed a lot of potential, but never really delivered.

All in all the Reds attacked and defended as well as can be expected, given all the shake ups. Defensive injuries, a new non-Ronaldo strike force. And a lazy man up front. Yes, Berbatov. He should at least fain enthusiasm, but instead he falls for the off sides trap seemingly without a care. He's on one of the best teams in the world, but you'd never know it by his demeanor.

I already miss Tevez. Ronaldo, not so much. Except, of course, for the multitude of goals he supplied. But I can't wait until he has a mega diva-tandrum at Real. It will happen. And when it does the Spainards won't be too keen on it. The honeymoon will end.

The cherry on top of yesterday's victory was Liverpool's loss to Spurs. To dare is to do. The scoucsers did neither.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:59:00 +0000

Adiós, Carlos.

You were good in your time, and we thank you. But now you've joined enemy ranks. Pity. And what's all this about the new and improved City? I've heard it for years, and still don't buy it.

Here's what it boils down to: the Madrid like scavenger hunt for talent at Eastlands should make the Europa race more interesting. If nothing else it will turn the Manchester derby into a watchable, hype-worthy event (at least this year, next year City could be relegated - it happens now and again).

I predict the Stretford end (and upper north - a noisy lot) won't initially give stick to Tevez. But once he's starts flapping his soup coolers and flailing his arms in a post-goal frenzy, they'll be on him like white on rice. As for Terry big boots, he's just pitting baby blue against evil blue until his trousers burst with coin. But I do see Adabyour waving au revoir to Arsenal for the much sought-after mid-table mess he'll ultimately bitch about.

All this overspending never amounts to much. Remember when Chelsea went on a cash-spending rampage five or six years ago? OK, bad example. But remember City did spend like a drunken sheik last year and played yo-yo all season. Of course this year they sit hoof-to-snout with Madrid, trying to cruise the blackjack dealer with the promise of a huge tip once they fold. What both sides fail to see in the rear view are their ever-mindful league mates. Yes, matches will be played, lost, and I predict, often tied.

A few things to remember: Mark Hughes will always be a RED.
And City will always be City.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:31:00 +0000

18 League Titles

A glorious day against the Gunners

Another premiership title in the trophy case. Make that three in as many years. It's kept United and their fans savoring the moment, but still wanting more. The Reds face a hapless Hull side to finish off the Prem season. More importantly, they'll need to rest key players to be in top shape for the big one: a date with Barça next week in Rome. Only Europe is at stake.

Resting their starting 11 could actually be bad news as Hull needs a victory to stay up. Defeat will certainly find them plying their trade in the Championship next season. So United will field 11 hungry men needing to prove to Sir Alex they belong on the first team. If not this season, then next.

Rio may miss both matches if he fails his fitness test for the Hull match. Vidic is just not Vidic without Rio. And the Reds are not really United without that pair at the back.

As for Barça, all bets are off. They're hot, cold. And sometimes right in the middle. United just need to open things up quickly, then shut them down just as fast. It's just too close to call.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 May 2009 10:07:00 +0000

ARIVADERCI BLUES

United to face Barça in Champ's Final.

Bring on Barça.
FC Barcelona literally stole the UEFA Champions League semi-final victory right from under the Blue's snot-noses. And well done to you. Thanks to Andrés Iniesta's goal three minutes into added time, Barça earned a showdown with Manchester United FC in Rome on 27 May - a day that will live in infamy as I call in sick.

Chelsea showed the same class as a prep shool cheerleader squad after an inner-city cheer off loss. Hip drops. Nasty looks. Hair shimmies. And the always-popular face in camera/finger fave. Losers.

But congrats are in order to the Catalooners for breaking blue hearts everywhere. They beat Chelski at their own game. Low scoring, heavy possession, and the ever-popular added time goal, with controversy. Nice.

Of course that will all change when they face United. They will attack, with their full squad, and score goals. Just like they did all season inLala Liga. The difference being United's back line. Hopefully they won't give them the wide open spaces of let's say, Madrid. And United, sans Fletcher, will attack attack attack. At least one can hope.

Now back to the Spaniards every Spaniard hates. Yes, that nay-o-sty old FC Cuntalonia. The last Barça/Madrid debacle was pure embarrassment, and should have been called due to massive douchbagery. The turd-major himself, Thierry No-honory, was particularly dificil on mis oyos. !Cabron!

Anyway locas, we have some other silverware to defend before hoisting the next Champions League Cup. I know, I predicted Barça would win the whole thing earlier this year. And they still could. But not without a fight.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:58:00 +0000

IS IT REALLY SO STRANGE?

Arsenal 1 United 3 (aggregate 1-4)

Come on Barça. Come on you Blues.

United has a date with you in Rome, 27 May to defend their Champions League trophy.

It just looked too easy. Especially if listened to all the pre-match smack Ansene was putting down prior tho Tuesday's Champions League semi. The title holders turned in a flawless away performance to completely dismantle Wenger's Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium, killing the tie through early goals from Ji-sung Park and Cristiano Ronaldo, before the Portuguese added style and flair to the scoreline with a breakaway third.

With the sweet comes sour.

Truth be told, United could have exposed the Gooners midfield for 4 or 5. Instead they scored a dismissal, thanks to the wrongful sending off of Darren Fletcher. The Scot will miss the final after being slapped in the face with a red for bringing down Cesc Fabregas inside the United area, allowing Robin van Persie to hammer home a late penalty.

There are football rules, are there not? The man goes for the ball and goes off? WTF? Regardless, United will have a strong squad ready to face all comers be they Spanish or English. They will turn the lights of the eternal city for goodness sake.

That's a bit later. This weekend they'll have to dismantle the hate City if they hope to see silver in the Prem. I don't see a problem there, you?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 19:49:00 +0000

OH WHEN THE REDS, GO MARCHING IN...

United 5 Spurs 2

From despair to where? First. Heartbreak turned to heaven Saturday as United scored 5 unanswered goals against mid-table Spurs.

It's been 23 years since Tottenham beat The Reds at O.T., but the first half gave everyone pause to rewrite the history books.

Despite being 2-0 down at the break, one Wayne Rooney said United never lost hope and always believed one goal could lead to a hatful.

"It was a brilliant comeback. We played too slow in the first half and Tottenham caused a few problems, especially down the right.

"But even at 2-0 down we knew once we got that first goal we'd get more opportunities to score. Thankfully we took them and in the end it was quite comfortable."

A few matches left. A game in hand. A 1 point lead. Sounds great. So I won't try and rewrite history just yet.