On the wings of a dream

Another Day , Another Rape ....Another Headline

2010-03-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Today’s newspaper highlights another of those incidents that made my blood boil with anger and helplessness.

It’s about a 12 year old girl raped by neighbours and cousins since 2008. You can read the complete article here

My friend sms’d me about it in the morning and she was so restless as if she could kill the people involved. We discussed that this was the sad state of Indian lower class where girls are being raped by all who can, family, friends, neighbours and they go unnoticed for years until one of these incidents is covered by the media.
Now in this case there are many issues that can be focused upon to save other people from such tragedies.

The victim’s parents were divorced and remarried to different partners and she was staying with her aunt. I wish people could be little wiser before giving birth to a baby. Maybe their circumstances did not allow them to take her along but couldn’t they fight for their own kid? Or it was just convenient to dump her on a relative and shun all responsibilities whilst they saught happiness in their own lives?

Her cousin raped her when she was 10. At 10, when most of us are worried about our dolls and pink hair bands she was dealing with RAPE. As she was living with the rapist's family we can imagine why she didn’t bring it to the aunt’s notice. What trauma, what a price to pay for shelter and food. Maybe she could have talked about it to her own mom had there been more communication between them.

Her silence encouraged the cousin and so his friends also joined in. They gang-raped her and even took her to a lodge and made an MMS to blackmail her with later. I find it hard to believe that her aunt didn’t notice anything, bruises, her behaviour, her long absence or her tears .

Then the neighbours also joined the gang including a 71 year old man. Is there anyone we can trust nowadays? Think 10 times before anyone of you lets a 70 year old man touch and hug your 10 year old kid.

And when they come to know about it (there is a vague line about someone noticing this) they did what we often see in such cases which is to blame the girl and send her off somewhere. Will it change anything for her? Did anyone talk to her about it? Was she given any medical help? Did anyone consider that she was raped by 9 men for 1 and half year and she might be suffering from HIV or other STDs?

She was just shifted to another place. I wish her childhood could have been saved from such an incident that will affect her whole life. I hope she gets some support now from her parents and medical aid and above all JUSTICE. All these guys should be convicted (I say 'Hang them all!'). Will the media follow the story or will it be another headline news that will get lost in the pages when we have other news?

I want every one of us to be aware of our surroundings and to not ignore any such signs in our neighbourhood. Be very careful about your kids and don’t leave them with elder neighbours / cousins / friends / uncles..You never know who could assault them. Talk to your kids often and clearly about these issues. Also if possible, talk about these issues to your maids, shopkeepers and any other women workers you come across. We might be able to help save a life.

On the women 's day !!

2010-03-08T06:08:00.000-08:00

Today I got a couple of women’s day messages that really made me think.
We are cute daughters, we are sweet sisters, we are lovely lovers, we are darling wives, we are adorable mothers , we are source of strength , we are women…happy women’s day “

I have nothing against being all this but I believe we should celebrate womanhood in spite of all the roles we play in others’ life. Even if a woman is not an ideal daughter, wife, mom…there is a reason to celebrate .We are much more than our relationships. All through our lives there is this pressure of being a lovely this and an adorable that and in trying to fit into all these roles we forget our own self. Let this women’s day free you from relationships and celebrate just YOU, the essence that makes you a wonderful person in spite of the flaws that others see.

“Do you know why God Created Man 1st and then Woman? Cause you need a rough Draft before creating a master piece. Have a great Women’s day “

Am I supposed to happy about this? What are we trying to project here? Why this comparison with men? We are different and equal, that’s the way we were created. We have to accept the differences and lessen the gap that divides the two socially and economically. We have to fight against injustice and help raise awareness and not just verbally try to project that one is superior to another.

If I had to send something i’d say
“I don’t mind being in a man’s world , as long as I am woman in it “
This one is my favorite. I love this one still as it says nothing against men. It just celebrates the idea of being a woman.

I don’t want to be compared to anyone or against any benchmark.
I don’t strive to be somebody’s ideal someone.
I just want to live my life with peace and independence, doing small things that make me happy and the world a better place.
In my small way I want to contribute.
In my small way I want to be a part of this world.
I don’t want to be judged based on some pseudo- standards.
I don’t want to be discriminated against or be subject to bias.
I don’t want reservations or special privileges but I don’t want to be deprived of my basic rights either.
I have a right to say no.
I have a right to be heard.
I want freedom to choose and decide for myself.
I want to be accepted as I am…I want to celebrate the idea that I am a Woman.

Observations at the immigration queue !!

2010-02-23T07:14:00.000-08:00

When you reach immigration counter after 10 hrs of journey, you want to finish that final hurdle fast and get to your destination.
Now when I reached Heathrow, I saw two different counters
1. British and EU passports and
2. All other passports.

Of course,we lesser mortals ( all other passports ) reluctantly dragged our bodies and luggage towards a serpentine queue . I was just wondering why I was at the end of the queue , then I remembered the time I spent at the washroom searching for my hair brush and then restoring my makeup ..Some people have better sense to use washrooms after the immigration checks..a pointer for next time .

I had some 300 people ahead of me and a nerd of a guy behind me ,he was the only person after me ..and this fella was cursing all the while , sometimes his luggage , sometimes his phone , sometimes the immigrations , sometimes I couldn’t make out whom. And then I started observing people to pass the time, he wasn’t much of a company unless I wanted a lesson on cuss words.

The first person I see when I join this queue every time am there, is a Punjabi lady...This time again she was speaking to anther Punjabi brit and this is the conversation I overheard

Lady1 : Are u in tomorrow ?
Lady2 :Yeaaaaa
Lady1 : cheti ayi fer ( come on time )
Lady2 ..haan haan ..I know

Lady2 comes to lady 1 . Appreciates her thick gold bangles
Lady2: They are niceeee
Lady1 : haan I got them done last time I was in India …Hune gayi si 2 mahine pehle ..

Etc etc ….part Punjabi and part English conversation continued …and then I had to move forward missing their conversation ….. I absolutely love how they switch from perfect Brit accent to perfect Punjabi accent in the same sentence ..:)

Second set of people who attracted my attention were three ladies , In almost identical track suits.From my reliable fashion blog site, I know that it’s a designer one !! So, we have three good looking ladies in pink , blue and red tracks ..Same brand same style, and wearing goggs ( yea inside the airport ) with YSL tribute totes ( similar ones all three of them ) …I don’t know if they do bulk shopping or they like to look like a band whenever travelling , or someone sponsored their trip .

Next I saw a newly wed couple. Gal must be travelling for the first time. she was all excited and the sparkle in her eyes told it all , guy was being a proud guide , feeding her stories in bits and pieces. I smiled at them, they smiled back.

Then there was this cute kid, I had met him in the flight , whenever I ask him anything , he will sing like an opera singer .He must be 3 yrs old or so. He was placed almost parallel to me in the queue so I could bug him as we keep on walking.

Then I saw a Gucci mama, beautiful overcoat, nice pearls, a big rock, and an elegant grey flower clip on her hair .she was elegance and style personified. What a lovely sight!!…at immigration queue ??Never mind the place , she was awesome !

I saw someone wearing a big skirt,I looked up slowly, it wasn’t a girl , he was almost 7 feet tall and this huge guy was wearing a dress and coat ..from a distance it looked like skirt and a blazer …I was staring and so were others. Probably they don’t make pants of that size,or it was more comfortable .Was it ethnic wear or a style statement .I was too tempted to ask ..but then he didn’t have a friendly face ..

As we keep on moving at the surprisingly slow pace , I noticed that out of 22+ counters , we had immigration officers at only 6 0r 7 of them …cant they have more people there to speed up the process ??

There were many Indian students who have been held at immigrations, and were told to wait. I could sense the panic in their faces .what if they had t go back home? How different their state of mind had been when they boarded the plane few hours ago? how things change so fast.

And there were people from various countries , Indians , pakistanis , Chinese , Japanese , Iranians etc etc …It was a good mix of people , that kept me amused for whole 1 hour. Damn u Mr. Murphy !!!

p.s .I am at Uk for 2 weeks and enjoying it so far :)

One Kid in the family ???

2010-01-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

Keeping population in view and the time and effort it requires to raise a kid , most of the people are going for one kid per family nowadays .Even my brother and bhabhi are happy raising my 3 year old nephew .It’s been 3 wonderful but hectic years in my family . Everytime I call home , something or the other is going with Tanuj( my darling nephew). Many important decisions in family are based on him , from family outings to bhabhi’s college to choice of sofa covers( light colours are out till he grows up) to bringing home some furniture or artefacts (they shouldn’t have edges)to the kind of food is being cooked and list is endless .

He is given all attention and time , there is no hush hush to his questions. Everyone takes pain and effort to explain him simple things in life .It took him a day to understand that his Grand father is my father and his father my brother,when I appeared out of nowhere after a year, but nobody lost patience . As it’s not safe nowadays to send your kids to the neighbours to play , everyone take turns to keep him entertained. I was startled when mummy once said that he has an imaginary friend ‘Panuj’, with whom he plays and talks. Is he craving for his own age company, a friend a sibling??? May be ..

Things would change when he will be in school, he will find friends there , but what if he will long for a sister or a brother when he will see other friends talking about their brothers and sisters. My family is quite sure they don’t want another kid , and I respect that .I totally go crazy handling him for 1 hour. But, when I remember my childhood, it’s so beautiful because of the relation I had with my brother. We grew up like best friends, we still are .He is just 1 and half year younger to me , so we played and fought together ,shared secrets and sometimes even friends. The only pic I took while leaving home is a pic of me holding him in my lap when I was 3 year old and he of 1 and half.

At the same time , my mom was a home maker and bhabhi is still studying and intent to work from next year, and my mom is done with her share of raising children . I strongly believe grand-parents are there to lend a helping hand and not doing half of parenting .A child is sole responsibility of his/ her parent’s .So the decision should also be theirs. I cannot see myself raising two kids ( I am not even talking of giving birth here ), so I can understand what’s in bhabhi’s mind. Yet, something about single kid in a family bothers me.

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Wish you all a very Happy New Year 2010…May this year your wish lists get tick marks and all the worries and problems of 2009 stay there and never make it to 2010.

As another year comes to an end and a New year promising Joy and happiness beckons , it’s time for me to sit back and count my blessings , make a note of things I could have done /handled better , thank God and family for being there , and to pray and plan for this year.

2009 was an year of missed opportunities and uncertainties .Things looked promising at one point and overnight I had a totally different scenario .This was particularly true at job front, but even my personal life was not far from it. But in the end I thank God for no major shocks and pray that this year at least few of the “tentative” things materialize.

I had a bad year as far as health is concerned. I felt sick almost every week, as a result my immune system got totally battered. I took a break from work and am spending one month with my family to regain health and thank God, I feel better and look better. The magic of mom never fails to work.

2009 was an year when I finally learnt to handle relationships better, be it with friends, guys, family and relatives, I learnt to be firm without being rude, when to argue and when to hold on, whom to avoid and whom to indulge with .No more of old emotional me for this year as well, as I am determined to keep negative people and thoughts at bay.

I had this yearning all through last year to pray more and to be with God more often in my own little way; unfortunately I could not do that. Though in Last couple of weeks I managed to pray often and more .This is one thing I am determined to keep doing in the coming years. I feel lost without Him.

I had messed up financial stats till last year, I got everything back to track….I‘ll call it an achievement.

For many months my mind was in strange state of “inactivity” , I just relaxed and did nothing , and one fine day I feel like writing again , I feel best when I can take out my pen and paper and write till me fingers ache.

I did lots of shopping, partied and met lots of people. And I can see parties and people in 2010 too… do I need more excuses to shop.

I spend lot of quality time with my family after 6 years, and also met some old friends, got in touch with old buddies through FB/orkut . Some relations defy time and distance .thank God for these wonderful people in my life.

I shifted house and first time in my life spend more time choosing curtains and bed sheets than my cloths, I never knew I love decorating home. I recently got cushions with silk embroidery and some artifacts, my New Year gift to my home. I wish to change my house again this year, and this time I’d rather shift to my own house instead of rented one.

In 2010, I wish to travel, get better job, and get some romance back in my life and to have good health so that I can enjoy them.

~~ ~The Lucky Chinease Tag ~ ~~

2009-12-28T07:51:00.000-08:00

Tagged by lubna , here is the Supposedly lucky Chinease tag ...to end this year on a lucky note ...

8 TV shows I like to watch:
1. sex and the city ( anyday anytime )
2. Sach ka samna
3. Tom and jerry
4. friends (sometimes)
5. jhansi ki rani( J)
6. Roadies
7. Dance shows
8. Random saas bahu serial --- to laugh out loud at the garish cloths and clichéd line.

8 favourite places to eat (and drink)
1. Casa –piccolo ( for the best casseroles and pasta in town)
2. TGIF ( love their martinis)
3. Hardrock cafe ( nice cocktails and awesome music)
4. Good old K.C plaza in jammu ( hot chocolate fudge and keema pizza)
5. Barbecue Nation ( to enjoy live barbecue and music )
6. Bobby da dhaba ( ghar jaisa kadi-pakora ...yummm)
7. 20 feet high (sizzlers / pastas )
8. CCD ( there is nothing better than a hot cup of coffee and a muffin..

8 things I look forward to
1. To fall in love again :)
2. To lose at least 7-8 kgs.
3. To finish my novels.
4. To save some money every month ...I need to save for travel
5. To travel (first all over India, then abroad ).. or may be one destination in India and one abroad every year .A trip to vegas with lubna is number one in the list right now.
6. To set up my little kitchen garden ..i have been growing wheat grass for a while , now want to extend it to other veggies
7. To meet my college friends.
8. To take my maternal grand-parents for a holiday .old folks need some rest and I want them to relax and forget life ki tensions for few days .

8 things that happened yesterday

1. I got up late as usual ..whats holidays for if u have to keep track of time..
2. Had sag wala parantha with malai ....my mom cook amazing parathas .
3. Danced , played , fought with my nephew ..he makes me dance and then whistle J ..i love this little admirer of mine
4. Had one hour relaxing massage session at home ..ah ! the luxury of being at home.
5. Went to meet my grand-parents , and watched end of baagwaan with them , we all in family were almost in tears ..yea yea ..m emotional at times
6. Cooked daam-biryani in 5 min ...and it was yummy ...recipe ( layer cooked rice / cooked chicken curry / add some spices and curd ..cover it with foil and put it in microwave for 5 min )
7. Thora facebook /thora gtalk / thora blogger / thora high heel confidential
8. Played some more with my nephew ..bugged him ..kissed him 100 times and get kissed 100 times in return .

8 things I love about winter
1. I hate winters ..especially they are this cold ..damn I hate them this time as well.
2. Gajar ka halwa ...u get best gajars at this time.
3. All those chickens / kababs / mutton dishes
4. You are in bed most of the day and no one seems to mind.
5. you don’t have to be too particular about the wax sessions ...so skin finally get some time to relax.
6. Warm oil / ghee massage and all pampering.
7. Hot water baths ..long luxiourious and oh so orgasmic baths ....
8. The best thing about the winters is endless passionate love-making sessions ...that’s my number 8 right now for obvious reasons

8 things on my wishlist

Ramdom wishes , God u can grant them randomly , but please do that soon
1.To meet someone whom i can love , who loves me , and with whom I can live...and who don’t talk about marriage :D
2. A home of my own
3. mujhe dogieeee chahiyeeee ( one boxer and one pug ).
4. A car , so that I can learn driving
5. I don’t mind some pradas . jimmy choos and LVs ...just few
6. Beech and beer holiday ...throw in some massage /shopping and lotta parties
7.Job change / promotion / better projects
8.God ....please keep me away from viral fevers and cold ...I had enough of bad-health this year ..give me better health next year .

8 things I am passionate about
1. Passion
2. writing
3. Dancing
4. Walking ( I love long walks )
5. Shopping
6. My job ( though i want to more than what i am doing rt now)
7. Talking / chatting / meeting new people ..i love to know /explore different cultures /rituals.
8. Punjabi music and folk stories/songs

8 words or phrases I use often
1. Hanji
2. Waheguru ji ( after every time I sneeze ..and i sneeze a lot)
3. Is it ?
4. Sexy
5. Oh my baby
6. Uski aisi ki taisi
7. Chal be
8. Wassup

8 things I learnt from the past
1. As my mom says” Waqt se pehle and kismet se zeyada kabhi nahin milta” so why bother.
2. If you trust Him, trust Him completely. He will never let you down ...never
3. Love like crazy...even if you have been hurt before.
4. Just like lubs said , forget but don’t forgive .
5. Some things in life don’t deserve a reaction.
6. Most of the things that are fun are often associated with guilt ..have fun and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty.
7. Live your life or others will live it on your behalf.....and others can be your family, friends , collegues ....make a choice.
8. Save some money , you never know when you feel like quitting your job and just take it easy ...don’t let money spoil a perfect plan.

8 places I would love to go, visit or see
1. Kashmir / leh on a bullet( may be next summers )
2. Oh so romantic tour-de-Europe.
3. Goa ...( I wish I could go there every 6 months )
4. Singapore / thialand and neighbouring countries ( shopping / massages / beeches )
5. Paris / Milan ( shopping .....)..thats not part of romantic trip.
6. Caribbean cruise
7. African safari
8. NY/ Vegas ( shopping / stripper and casinos )

8 things I currently need or want
1. I need some discipline in my life ...but kaya karun ...I hate morning walks and love morning sleep
2. I need warm winter cloths ...I have been borrowing dad’s sweaters.
3. I need to get regular with my exercise.
4. I need a job change. I need better work and better paycheck.
5. I want Wednesday off / every week ...2 weeks off every 6 months .
6. I need to visit my dentist/ENT specialist .
7. I need to have my dinner now .
8. I need new dresses , new shoes , new bags ,... ( that I need any day )
And I need to tag 8 people…The first 8 people to leave a comment are tagged. No, seriously. I’ll add your names to this post once you comment !

Fantasies .... and reality :)

2009-12-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

Last few days have been interesting, well! A little more than interesting. I had to take off from project as I desperately needed a break and haven’t been home (jammu) for more than a year now. still instead of rushing home to meet my darling nephew and spend some time with family , I just stayed at home at Bangalore .I thought I’ll be reading some technical stuff , but end up partying and reading novels ….and yes ,sleeping. I have been partying a lot of late, meeting new people and visiting new places, and with that come different experiences.

So, I went out with this cool couple .we had fun time .We talked crap all night and boozed and danced away the evening .And after two days , I get this message from this guy that what I think about threesome . He put this thought forward as if it was the most natural thing to follow after that evening .Surprisingly , I wasn’t appalled or even thrilled .My reaction was a hearty laugh at the thought and polite No as answer .In fact ,in theory I find multi-partner sex quite interesting , at the same time I cannot imagine myself a part of this sexual experimentation.

As far as I am considered, I cannot dream of sharing my partner with anyone , and at the same time I cannot be intimate with anyone unless I am really in love with the person . so, such an experimentation is out of question ..At least as of now. But at the same time , I don’t think it’s a bad deed for people who are anyways in relations because of reasons other than love .If it’s just for fun relation, then why not have more fun .

I discussed this with couple of my friends ..let me share the reactions.
First guy was like go ahead , we hardly meet such couples in real , there is no harm in trying this .And when I said , I am not interested , his reaction was “ Are you afraid of getting naked in front of a couple at the same time?” afraid was definitely what I was feeling .after few minutes he was like “ Do it if you are upto some fun and experimentation and if you like the couple ..or just say no and enjoy ..:) He was also pretty much cool with the idea.
The second dude suddenly was all attentive and wanted more details. How do I know the couple? How long we have been friends? What the guy exactly said ? What was my reply? What all we talked on that day when we were partying? And all such questions .after a brief analysis came the response “ What about converting threesome into foursome ?and then I disappointed him by telling that I don’t indulge in casual sex .Of course he was just teasing me but then I cannot rule out that this didn’t give him ideas.
I am yet to discuss this with my gal pals, will keep you guys posted of their reactions.
Now this situation made me sit down and think, Is casual sex for fun has really come out of fantasies and find a place in our homes. So, My question to you my fellow friends is “How would you react to this question/ situation in real life”. Has any one of you faced such situation and has anyone indulged in this in real? I know that most of the guys would jump at the opportunity, but I want to know if the same guy is really OK with his partner to be involved in this. have you ever discussed the topic with your partner ?I would particularly want to know what the ladies think about this. What would be your reaction if your partner suggests such experimentation? And if ever you are game for it, will you like to go with a known friend or a total stranger.
I know most people will publicly condemning the idea , it might be even disgusting to some .But here what I am looking for is not a debate on society , family values and culture .I am seeking answers about the feeling part .what’s your natural guilt free reaction to it ? Deep within what you think about the whole issue of multi-partner sex.

I wrote this all over a cup of coffee at 5:30 Am at the airport yesterday. Some thoughts just can’t stay in, they have to be poured .
More about the journey …in the next blog …and if you have noticed I am back to blogosphere after a long break.

Ten things ...

2009-06-04T01:40:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Latin Sardar , I have to write 10 things about me that are not obvious ( lesser known)

1. I love art, flowers , tastefully decorated homes, artifects , paintings , theatre , even if I dont talk about it all the time and even if I am not good in recognising plants ,cannot paint , Act and struggle to keep my house sparkling clean.

2. I find it really hard to learn new language , even few basic words are tough for me .

3. I am very particular about food , I dont mind experimenting different cuisines , but its me who have to decide whether i'll taste the food or not.No u cannot make me even sample a spoonfull if I dont want to ... NO compromise here ..

4. Most of the things I do , I do them for a reason ...And the reason is ' I feel like doing it'. I cannot and will not give any logical reason .Facts and figues dont matter here.when I feel like doing something and if I can,I just go ahead and do it . Like last week I felt like painting a clay vase ....I did it in candlelight as there was no power at that time.when i want to do something , I cannot wait for even half an hour .

5. I loose my temper too soon , but not too often.

6. I love my friends and family a lot , but I dont mind being away from them ..I dont like being in the comfortable shell .Even if my parents will be in same city , I would rather choose to stay alone near by then in same house.

7. I like people who have some dreams , some ambition , some desires ....nothing turns me off than an aimless , dreamless life .... like people who say ' I have nice job, beautiful wife , car , home , what else i need ' ...its another thing to be thankful for what you have and another to be aimless.

8. I like people who are well toned, well dressed and well mannered , but this all have to look effortless . I appreciate a golden heart and intellgence but a litle effort to be presentable tells a lot about person.

9. My mind hardly sleeps ...its working non-stop,sometime I say two senetences that are not related because between these two sentences , I wud have thought about 3 more things in few seconds .

It does drive me crazy at times , especially when I cannot sleep as my mind choose to wander in unknown terrortries.

10 . I dont forget things , though I talk to 100's of people , I still remember what someone said 15 years ago ,even the minutest of detail.It amaze people and make then feel special. The negative is If u ever lie , I can connect links and make out .

and its over ...I could have written 10 more things ..or may be more ..someone please tag me again..

I think most of my friends have been tagged already , and if u are not , consider urself tagged ..

Movies and Mr. Singh ... and Rain

2009-05-17T06:31:00.001-07:00

Two things are keeping me busy and happy this weekend ... Movies and Election results ...

I have been on back to back movie spree many times , but never been so keen in elections /politics and all .. How much as an INdian I was scared of having L.K.Advani or Mayawati as our future leader.I am so happy that I am dancing all the way to kitchen to get another scoop of choclate Ice-cream to celebrate the victory of congress and to have Mr singh as our prime minister .... damn the diet.

and now on movies ...I have watched the following movies in last week

* NO reservations
* Great Expectations
* The Duchess ( twice )
* Ek hasina thi
* Firaq
* sense and sensibility
* Notting Hill
* Honeymoon travels ltd.

and I am downloading kramer vs Kramer and Anna and the king (my all time fav )..:D. May be I do a review of all in some post soon ..if that laziness bug dont bite me again .

I heard that North is burning in heat ..In jammu its 44 degree celcius today, and here I am enjoying my hot cup of coffee after dancing (almost) in rain ...Bangalore weather is the Best in India ..

P.s :- I am clearing the backlog ...if I have not visited your blog my friend , I'll be soon ..if I dont...U are most welcome to remind me ..

Back to blogsphere

2009-05-13T01:30:00.000-07:00

I took some days off ..from everything , well !! almost everything ...

Break was a litle longer than I anticipated ..I thought I'll get bored of my company .On the contrary, I was getting addicted to myself , so much so that I feared total isolation...and here I am back to the world ...happy and feeling better, rejuvenated and full of many ideas that i'll be pouring out in the coming days ..

I know I have missed reading so many wonderful posts ..... I will get started now and try to cover as much as possible ...

See you guys around ...I missed Blogsphere and all my friends here.Its ironic how well we get connected in this virtual world that it becomes sometime more important than the real world ....may be thats from where came the term virtual reality ...;-)

Longing for a date with myself

2009-03-18T03:48:00.001-07:00

Amidst a hectic lifestyle and trying to be super-human; managing work, friends, family, love life and virtual life, we end up losing touch with the most important person, our own self. Even the so-called ‘Me time’ on weekends/ holidays is spent with other people and we end up being tired rather than relaxed. I, like many people around me, crave for that one day when I can have a date with myself. It should be easy right? There are no appointments to be made, no fees to be paid …wrong! It’s a hard realization that I am not that easily available to myself, not anymore. There are other things that have taken priority.

Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and going for a holiday just like that, to spend some time away from the maddening world around me. Ideally, I would love to switch off my phone and not check my mails /orkut/Facebook/blog. I would walk for hours on a beach, dance away the evenings and indulge in body spa for hours .I would love to visit some religious places and eat my favorite foods, meet new people and silently watch the sunset. I would love to sleep for a good 10 hours and do window-shopping the rest of the time. I wish I could shut out the worries of day to day life from my mind for a few days and enjoy peaceful sleep interrupted only by beautiful dreams.

I have been promising myself this date for long, where I will have my undivided attention and when I will spare no effort in pampering myself. I will listen to myself with patience like I have never done before and I will discover things about me that I never knew existed.

I hope I get to do that soon…

Best thing you can do with your lips

2009-03-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

A Kiss can tell from where its coming ....

.......and a kiss can tell where its leading

A Kiss is the healthiest appetiser and the yummiest dessert. The magic of a kiss is unmatched as is its disappointment. It is often the first step towards an intimate relationship and sometimes the end of a potential love affair. To perfect the art of kissing you need to follow your heart more than any how-to book. A Kiss often reveals where its coming from : the mind, the heart, lust or desire. Often the eyes and words fail to express what a touch of lips on lips can convey. It is over-rated by some and just part of the customary foreplay before the main act for others. I have been thinking of the different kinds of kisses and I am sure there must be hundreds but here are a few that come to my mind :-

1. Feather touch :- A gentle brush of lips on lips, often the first kiss between lovers. The eyes are closed and the bodies slowly moving closer to each other. The lips quiver before they touch and then slowly explore the curves of the partner. It doesn’t deepen very soon and the lips part after sometime, when the lovers look at each other and often end up in a tight embrace celebrating that first kiss.

2. The Teaser :- With one person taking on the role of a teaser and exploring his/her partner’s lips in all possible ways, nibbling on the lower and upper lips in turn, using the tip of the tongue to tease just a bit...and drawing apart when the partner wants more .

Fun fun fun !!!
3. Twisted two :- A passionate wet kiss with the tongue exploring more than just the lips of the partner. You need to be careful with this one if your partner is not that experimental or if it’s the first time. Not everyone is up for twisted tongue fun but for the right couple it can lead to many magical moments.

4.Short and sweet:- It’s the straight-from-the-heart kind that is just another way of saying 'I love you' . It is best when least expected. It may not lead to anything immediately but it will stay with you for a long long time.

5. Quick and clumsy :- When it’s just a mechanical thing with the end result in mind you can end up making kissing boring and ineffective. This one is the biggest turn off.

6. Lick and go :- An unexpected lick round the corner of your lips in the middle of shopping, a movie or an outing with friends is more sensuous than any other kind of kiss especially when teamed with that 'I want you’ look in your eyes. It leaves you wanting more and it makes sure that you’ll rip off each other’s clothes the moment you are alone.

7. Never Ending passion:- Try kissing for as long as possible without breaking contact, setting records and breaking them often. It’s fun when you discover that your partner’s lips are the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted.

8.Chocolate treat:- Get dirty with a kiss. Play with a piece of chocolate, try to get it from each other’s mouth… till the chocolate and lips taste the same.

9.Any place but lips :- This one is another teaser. Get close and passionate, play this game of not kissing on the lips but everywhere else ...see how long you can control that temptation.

10. Please add your fav here .... Every one has their own fav way of savouring the lips of his/her partner..

P.S :- All terms are coined by me ...

Sex and the City

2009-02-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

I do absolutely love the serial and the movie ...but I am not going to discuss it here...

It just hit me one of these days when my colleague was discussing on the image factor in Office. our ‘sex ‘ is still being judged under the narrow scales of pseudo –morality standards in this city as in any other city .Small or big, metro or retro, IT driven or Business dominated.

She told me not to mention my marital status in office because then things will be different as many people already think I am being unwise in taking control of my life.

I am more professional than anyone else in office and my seniors know that .They judge me on my work and that’s enough for me. I don’t need opinion of Mr. anybody’s of office as to whom to talk and how to dress up. I have been told at least hundred times that I am the best professionally dressed up woman in my office. I can but sympathize with others who just see skirts.

People are too eager to classify and categorize you, if you are wearing skirts, drinking and moving around with guys, you are bad girl, who don’t value culture and religion. I just choose to ignore people with such mentality. I am well over the age when I can choose what to wear and what to drink and whom to hang out with … thanks guys I don’t like things that are free, and that include your advices.

And then people raising an eyebrow every time you mention you live alone …do I need to mention why they do so. Guys! There is much more in life than boyfriends and sex.

It’s another problem to be strong independent women (I would like to keep that face even if I am dying inside). You are heartless and insensitive if you don’t cry and look pathetic. You are a suspect when you are not blaming, and you are arrogant and aloof when you are not publicly washing your dirty laundry .your silence and smile can be your most devious enemies at times. Call me whatever you want to, I smile in public and cry alone.

And I love my life in spite of the odds …

Unsettling things about settling down

2009-01-30T07:26:00.000-08:00

Marriage is suppose to be one of the most awaited event in someone’s life .I agree it need some planning, preparation and discussions. I don’t blame parents to be concerned about the marriage of their children, but there has to be a line, a limit of pushing beyond certain threshold and some scope of open communication. This is especially true in case of girls.

When a girl reaches a certain age, everyone in the house, neighborhood and relations make match-making their business. All the actions are scrutinized keeping one aim in mind ‘marriage’.

If she gets into a good B school or job, people will say ‘now she would get good offers from well educated guys’.

Even today people don’t understand that a girl doesn’t study to get a decent match, she studies so that she can learn , judge , opt , work , earn and be independent, just like a guy. One of my friends was enthusiastic about the certification she is planning to get through by the year end. Her very ambitious brother in law didn’t even let her complete the sentence and remarked ‘your plan now should be to settle down’.

Some people try to project themselves as modern parents by openly announcing,’ we don’t mind her choosing her own partner as long as he is of our religion (cast, region), well educated, from a good family and having a steady (well paid) job”. So much for freedom!!

Daily I hear one or the other friend of mine struggling to convince her parents simple things like ‘ I am just not ready’ or ‘ It ain’t working for me’.

Another friend is fed up of talking to guys and every time she has to device a new excuse to tell ‘This is not the guy I’ll be like to share rest of my life’. I hate the trauma she goes through every time a new guy comes into picture .same questions, same apprehensions, same tamasha and same result. Now parents have zeroed down two guys and she has to pick one.What a choice...She said ‘I do rather do heads and tails and pick anyone because I like none’. But her parents are not listening.

One of my very good friends has left India and is definitely not coming back. Whenever her parents talk about marriage she simply hangs the phone.

All of these girls are good looking in their mid 20’s or late 20’s , single and open to love , and not ready to marry unless they are in love and 100 percent ready to spend their lives with the guy . They won’t marry if their parents won’t approve, but they won’t just marry to anyone their parents will choose.

I don’t know when people will accept that things are changing now and girls are not just a responsibility that you have to hand over to someone else and get tension free. And a girl has every right to say no for marriage if ‘ she don’t feel like kissing the guy’ ..:-)

Girlie Tag

2009-01-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Seher .. here goes my list of girlie things

1. how many pairs of shoes do you have?
around 40 pairs 2.

2.How many bags you have
12

3. name five designers(no, GAP doesnt count) off the top of your head. can you?
Ritu beri
Rohit bal
DKNY
Versace
JJ walia

4. how much time do you spend getting ready for work/school/college/home etc?
work - 30 minutes
party - 1 hour

5. how many different kinds of accessories do you have... list number with kind.

Belts - 6 .m not much into belts nowadys .
scarf - 10 .. i like them for the style factor ..but find them uncomfortable at times ..
socks - 8 pairs , 3 for working out , others because i just love wearing pink socks at home .. :-)

stockings - 20 + pairs , that include pantyhose in pinks / greys / blacks / sheer /fishnets / tiger prints ... i just love them ...

make up gloss / lipsticks - around 20
nail polish - 12
eyeshadows - 100 + shades :-)
eye pencil , maskara and base ...nothing else
watches - none
sunglasses - 2 ..that i never wear ..i dont even know where they are lying right now

rings - 10 +
earrings - 70 +
neck pieces - 30 +
bangles / bracelts - 30 different kinds

6. How many pairs of jeans do you have? (Optional if you don't wear jeans)
7 pairs , 3 are torn and worn out ..and my favs .:-) others are for office or when i am visiting my relatives .

7.What is the maximum you would pay for a pair of shoes you REALLY need to have? And Bag?
depends ... if i really need to have and have money ..there can be no limit ..:-) i have spend 3800 for a hidesign bag in India and 70 Pounds for boots in UK .\

8. Activity: post a picture of your five favorite shoes.(if possible ALL your shoes in one picture.lol.)
picking up 5 was tough ..i love all of these ....
yello ones raise quite few brows ..esp my boss hate them ..:-P

9. Activity: post a picture of your five favorite bags. or if you have less...your favorite-est

I am yet to learn to add pics to the blog properly ...these are not the best one of my lot but my current favs ...:-)

10. Activity: post a picture of your dresser/dressing table...what ever you call it.

I cannot do that ..my things are lying at different places ..and are not together at one place ...so cannot put them all together ..also i dont use a dresser ..

Now that compsing this post was a tough things ...i dont know how to play with images within a blog ...I am happy that its finally done ..

Tagged : All girls who raed this are tagged .

please leave a link of your tag so that I can visit and enjoy ..

A night in the cave

2009-01-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

A dream, almost real
As I see it with open eyes
Of a night in a cave
With you by my side
Cave, yes a real cave
Home of a wild beast once
Rough and withered
Warm in a cold winter night
That’s the only comfort it provides
We can burn some wood sticks
For warmth and light

It calls me many a times
Me, unaware of roughness
I wonder why
Creepy insects, snakes perhaps
Will still inhibit it
Yes I am afraid of them

But still I want to be there
But with you by my side
Isolated from world
Webs! Uh the sight of them
I can’t stand
But it will be temporary abode
Of un-inhibited desires
I might not be aware
Of their existence
You will be having
My undivided devotion

We will carve few pictures
With stones on the walls
That will be discovered byCrazy people like us
Sometimes in future
If someone will take the same walk
We will talk about the past and future
Some real things
And dream some dreams together

I would love that look
In your eyes
Reflecting flames of the fire
When you will touch my hands
And share your desire
Your arms around me
To care and protect
And to tease for a while
I’ll take my turn

Scare you with a scream
And will be amused
At the changing expressions
When you get relief
Of me being fine
I’ll lie in your arms
And go into a deep slumber
Knowing that you will be awake
So that I can have a peaceful dream

Last few days

2009-01-21T04:18:00.000-08:00

Though I have been around the blogspot and there was too much happening in my life ….this is my first post this year …few updates

My company is in news all over. Even if you happen to read news once in a while u can guess which IT company I work for .It was traumatic to deal with the queries of all the people I know on earth . Suddenly everyone is excited (not concerned) weather I will be getting my salary or not. It’s not over yet but still much better now.. and I am just like before cool and chilled out and love my company , my clients and my work .Period.

My family is really awesome …my dad and mom want to come to me and take me out for holidays because I am ( my company ) going through tough times and need some time away to relax… love you guys …

My best friend is a sweetheart for saying, ‘‘don‘t worry, I am there for you “… I don’t need any help...but sometimes these little words at right time are just perfect to make your day.
I have been addicted to http://www.highheelconfidential.com … I may not agree with everything but its hell lot of fun.

I came across different job offers from various fields..and have been thinking about all the things that I wanted to do in life apart from this job … it made me feel better even if that’s not going to pay my bills ..

I read 1000 splendid suns … it’s a wonderful book ... I love Happy endings ..:-)

Did not do any shopping … that’s kind of a record …

Have been more disciplined on my diet and daily routine...So far so good

Year Gone BY

2008-12-23T04:29:00.000-08:00

2008 ....

I wanted to write down the highlights of the year gone by ... the goods, the bads and the lovely ..

I am sure i'll miss something if I try to compose everything in one Go ..so i'll be adding the list in next few days ..

* The best thing about the year 2008 was that I got to visit UK ... my first trip abroad ...I visited Uk twice and had hell lota fun time ...okie ..it was supposed to be BIZ trip ..

* Bought some 15+ shoes ... lots of cloths , perfumes , bags , junk jwellery .....

* Managed to keep my small apartment clean .. well most of the time ...

* Met my old friends ...and m glad we still share the love , laughter and chemistry..

* Attained Single status ...and m loving it ..

* learnt salsa ( if u can count 3 classes ..atleast I started )

* listened to old Punjabi songs --I love my Gurdas mann collection ..

* Got drunk and danced till wee hours of the day ..:-)

* walked alone for hours ... I love my company :-)

* Spend some quality time with my family ...finally they have accepted that I am the one in control of my life ..( U know what I mean )..

* Met couple of people that are now what you call ' friends for life '' .

* After a gap of 2-3 years felt like doing my nails in reds and blacks and blues again ... and wow i still get compliments ..

Enuff for now ....

p.s . list is random .. just like my thoughts ...

!! Celebrations !!

2008-12-23T04:18:00.000-08:00

Amidst cost cuttings, low hikes and bleak future prospects, we celebrated Christmas and New Year party in office … As someone said ‘It’s been a bad year, all the more reason to celebrate its end....’

I was not expecting much support from the team as most of the team members are laid back …surprise!! I was able to collect money in record 10 minutes..And when I asked for volunteers to decorate the ODC, everyone lend a helping hand … guys took pain in dressing up today..Girls did have their touch of makeup in place... Manager looked happy even if he declined wearing Santa cap...

And everyone was talking about more such events in office … I couldn’t be happier …
somethings are changing ...already !!

There is a small Santa hanging on one side of my PC..Smiling at me, I smile back …

Dear Santa … wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a very happy New year Ahead!!

In love with love

2008-12-18T01:11:00.000-08:00

‘I am the one in love with love ‘, this is what I have been writing in about me section of my profile .It has raised a few eyebrows (as if I care), few sarcastic smiles that lead to comment ‘so u are in love again ‘, ‘I know what you mean’ expressions from my darling friends and sometimes from total strangers. Over the year I know this is what defines me perfectly, as I am more in love with love each passing day...

What does it mean to me to be in love? It’s always been about the feeling than the person. I absolutely loved the guys in my life, now I feel I was more in love with the way I feel when I was in love than the person.

I never had to weigh the feelings for months to know whether I was in love or not. I just knew it and never tried to hide it. I did the same when I was out of love, just let the person know .I took the blame, said sorry and moved on. Easier said than done, when relationships break, there are accusations, lies, blame games and endless nights of crying. I have been through all that and more .

When in the middle of sobbing one of the friends would say ‘that’s what happen when you are in love ‘,

I would retort ‘don’t say anything about love; it’s still the best thing that can happen to you’.

The truth is I believed in love more with each passing day. I still believe like a stupid love stuck teenager that pure, pious love that lasts till eternity is real.

I watch the moon with a fascination, enjoy the rains and sunsets. I smile at the love birds that walk hand in hand in streets; I hug old couples who have been together since what seems like eternity. My heart reaches out to people who fall out of love, I pray for friends who want to bitten by love bug.

I love being in love … with love.

From Kathakali to Cha cha cha …

2008-12-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

It’s been a long and enriching journey for a girl who has been mesmerized by dance forms from all over the world at various stages of her life …

As a kid I used to watch kathakali and kuchipuri as aired by doordarshan once every week . I would be then practice the the steps till the next telecast, wrapping my mom’s dupattas as sari and wearing bright red makeup.Echos of ta thai tatha thai did amused them sometimes, or that’s what I choose to believe. To everyone’s relief I fell out of love with traditional dance forms soon and my next interest was Bollywood item songs .I’d dance every evening ( dupatta saris continued without makeup ).sometimes I would go to the hills near our house in Batote ( a hill station in Jammu and Kashmir) and dance for hours and hours in a stretch on the tunes of my own songs . I used to call myself a gypsy girl those days .

Then came the MTV fever...its virus spread like flu , I was a victim too. Now my room was bang bang with the likes of Madonna’s and Jacksons singing with me(J) … I still used my mom’s dupatta’s ,but this time to make wrap around or a back knot blouse on shorts … how can you dance without the proper look ! Ah those were the days of luxury. Everyday there was a different me...

I tried everything from head banging with black lipstick to the J lo hip shaking with stilettos...

And then came another turn in my dancing history …I joined an Engineering college where everyone used to love Punjabi songs. Yes ,Punjabi.And here I am not talking about Daler mehendi ..but Surjeet Bindrakhiya … and there is no kidding when this poor dancer was teased by all for doing disco on bhangra beats …was I to be blamed ..U can only empathize if you have heard those Punjabi songs ( I love them today , but back then they were nightmare ..) more so because if we used to party for 3 hours , for 2 hours we had to listen to this song ’ Tera yaar bolda ‘ .Then after a year it was ‘ Chandigarh kare aashiqui ‘ by B21. But then dancer in me slowly molded in to the Bhangra mode …and when I graduated after 4 years, I was known to do disco in Bhangra style.

Now the days of leisure were over. I started working in an IT company - 9 to 7 office hours, and lazy weekends .There was no time to dance daily. How much I missed my favorite pastime. How I wanted to dance on live Dhol again with bunch of cousins and friends, girls dressed up in ethnic salwar suits and lehanga’s. Glittering Bangles in bright colors, and sound of payal synchronizing with music …
I still play bhangra beats sometimes and try dancing in that small room of mine, but what’s this dance without the giggles and laughter’s of people around.

Then one day a girl in my office told me she is taking salsa classes. My eyes twinkled with a child like glee .This is what I should be doing. I have been thinking of joining salsa classes since some time. Luckily this lady started new batch last week only, and there I was wearing my dancing shoes again, excited like hell. I was so sure that as I have been dancing all my life, it would be cake walk. Surprise! I could not do basic steps. My foot moment was half , weight not on proper points , heels not down as they should be , hands too stiff , hip moments not too delicate .I felt terrible after first day . But then the very next day I wore a dress that flatters my figure , heels that aren’t too high yet give me perfect hip moment ,relaxed my body and let it flow on the beats of jive …one two three four and there I was in sync with music … then we learnt few steps of cha cha cha ..And it all seemed easy.

Broken Promises

2008-12-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

With broken promises
And haunting memories
I stand alone,
Searching answers in horizon
on a misty evening ..

Warm breath embraces
The coldness around for a while
and some tears roll down
Unconsciously to meet the smile

I stand there
till the sun’s golden dust
Vanishes in the ash coloured night
I wait endlessly for dawn
with broken promises of some moonlit night.

p.s . one of my friend has done this painting that inspired me to write the poem .

first blog !!

2008-12-03T20:38:00.000-08:00

Here I am, another person in the crowd, who thinks she has a so many interesting things to share.... and more so because all those interesting things are driving me crazy as they are lounging inside my head ... it’s better to get them out and let the world go crazy...

Hmmm ...so where to start from , what should be my first post ... that romantic poem that I wrote when I fell in love Nth time ... or some random story of the past ... the recent bomb blasts ... or review of White tiger that I finished yesterday ... it’s so tough to choose ..Damn we Librans....

After pondering over all these juggling thoughts I decided not to decide and just start writing ....

Something about me that I would probably add later in my profile.... I am a software engg ...working comfortably (way too comfortable I think ---its my 5th year in the same company) ..an IT professional who hates getting up early in morning (read 7:30) ... thinks Monday is the worst day of the week ... enjoys coffee breaks even if cribs about coffee daily ... experience whole range of emotions possible in a single day ,Every day ..
.. Who follows the moon in the office bus , who likes to feel the rain droplets on the face … I am a observer too , a poet and a writer … love to dance , chat , talk , read , watch movies …list is endless and so are my desire

And then
… I am someone who dreams, rather the one who lives on the wings of a dream