One Dad, Five Kids, and staying sane

Brownie, Cookie Dough, Reece's cup treats!

2013-08-03T00:14:00.000-04:00

MMMM!

The three step process...

So, the recipe is easy, Cookie Dough of choice smooshed in the bottom of the muffin pan, a Reese's Cup on top, and Brownie mix to cover. Bake at 350° for 18 minutes or longer...a lot longer...or well, I think we messed up the first try. I was fun and I love to spend time with my little girl! She is getting too big too quick and I really treasure these times together! I stuck them back in after they had cooled a bit and I suspect that wont be a recipe for success. Oh well. No matter, it was still a lot of fun, and you can see, the milk was extra yummy and bubbly!

Bubbles!

You can never spend too much time with your kids. The demands of work and life never cease, but children grow, and change every moment and if you blink you miss it! Of course the Joys of our own children are eventually augmented by the Joys of Grandchildren. I suspect when they are near I will spoil them horribly!

The finished product

Thoughts on Romans 13, a logical walk through a Christian's responsibility in the USA during a General election for president.

2012-10-26T00:13:00.000-04:00

First, voting is not a biblical concept for the most part. We are not voting for a religeous leader nor are we required to by the Scriptures since the Church already has one infallible leader in Jesus Christ as revealed in God's Holy and inerrant word and He will not subjugate His authority to any other regardless of who that may be. We do not live in a theocracy as did the Israelites in the Old Testament, nor is our style of Government a direct extraction from Scripture. Our Government is heavily influenced by the Scriptures and I believe our constitution does a fantastic job of providing for the Biblical requirements of Roman's 13 for a Government. We are not clamoring for a King nor installing a substitute for the Authority of God.

Lets get a few more things out of the way, every government ever established anywhere at any time past present and future is established by God. Romans 13 outlines the Christian's responsibilities to his particular government and governing authorities wherever he may live. That being said, where he lives will determine how these guidelines apply specifically to him in response to the particular government he lives under. It is no sin for any Christian to seek to improve his circumstance under a particular government, nor to use whatever influence he may have to cause his government to become better.

For the United States citizen we are given a greater responsibility under Romans 13 than we are often willing to accept. Follow me carefully here. Our government is established as one that is of the people, by the people, and for the people. That means you and me if we are citizens. By virtue of the fact that we are US citizens, we are both subjects of the government under which we live and must obey its laws, and we are authorities within the structure of our government establishing each of us as instruments of good called by God to the office of citizen. Pause a moment and let's read and consider how God's word instructs you as a "governing authority":

Romans 13:1 "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. 3 For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; 4 for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. 5 Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. 7 Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor."

Let your mind wrap around this for a moment. As a Governing authority (IE. citizen), you are called and established by God to be a minister of good, to condemn those who oppose the ordinance of God, to be a cause of fear for those who behave in an evil way, to give praise to those who do what is good, Avenge and bring wrath on practitioners of evil, to devote oneself to serving God, and to receive honor. This applies to any Christian capable of exercising his civic duty to vote, sit on a jury, or hold any office high or low in any government position in so much as it is within his power to do so and he is granted opportunity to act.

So how does this apply to our responsibility in a general election for president of the United States? First you must understand how things work. The Founding Fathers wisely established an electoral college requiring a minimum of 270 electoral votes for a candidate to win the office of President of the United States. It was not, as many assume, to establish a two party system. Any party can put up a candidate and many do. Rather it is to ensure that the candidate who wins is one who can effectively win over a majority of the states and thus govern effectively. In this election there are numerous candidates but only 2 who have a chance to reach 270 electoral votes. This does not mean the other candidates are worthless. Some may be far better, but they either aren't on enough states ballots to win the 270 votes, or their popularity is such that they won't be able to carry even one state.

As a Christian my overwhelming desire is to vote for a Christian candidate who agrees with my views on God, His word, and sound moral teaching. This candidate does not exist even among 3rd parties as far as I can tell, and if he does he had no chance of reaching 270 votes. Folks, that is God's way of telling me I am not going to get what I want.

Now I believe in God's sovereignty and I am certain that no matter how I vote we will have the leader He establishes. This is a 100% guarantee, but I have been given a civic duty by God to cast my vote for a candidate who will most closely represent my values and beliefs. He is not a replacement for God nor a religious leader for our country, but a governing authority that will be charged and held responsible by God for how he governs.

In this cycle you may not like either leading candidate but we must deal with the facts. God has superintended the selection process through the primaries, determined the lead candidates, and approved the rules we must live by in this election. Here is the critical part, if you hold on to your favorite candidate just because he seems to you to be the better choice, or even more godly than the other two, you may feel better about yourself, but in reality you will simply undermine the candidate that is closest to your beliefs.

God has presented us with two candidates having very distinct points of view and each will lead the country in radically different ways. Each candidate falls into the category of lessor of evils including your favorite third party offering. I would point you to:

Romans 3:9 What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; 10 as it is written,

“There is none righteous, not even one;
11 There is none who understands,
There is none who seeks for God;
12 All have turned aside, together they have become useless;
There is none who does good,
There is not even one.”

Whether you like it or not, if you are to obey God and do your civic duty, you will have to vote for a sinner. We can trust God with our country and all we can do is seek the best possible outcome for ourselves and our children. Please look closely at these two candidates and study their own words and records and choose wisely.

Godly perspective is better than self esteem.

2012-01-08T01:20:00.000-05:00

On a recent comment on facebook I said this to a very sweet young lady I know.

"By the way, you are a beautiful, custom made, one of a kind, first, last, and only, special production run, specifically crafted for the Father's glory, child of God...pictures don't do you justice, so don't worry about being picky, they're all good, but nothing compared to the real you! :)"

That got me thinking and that usually means I have something I want to blog about so I thought I would just go ahead and do it since I haven't written in about a year! I have thought about it many times, but I just haven't done it. I don't think I will make any new years resolutions about it either since I haven't done a very good job of keeping up with my blog. No sense in breaking a promise.

The reason for the above comment was the young lady mentioned taking an hour fooling with her camera to get just the right picture for her profile. I could identify, mostly because I have done that many times myself. I have a mole on my nose that I try to hide, or minimize the impact of when I choose my profile pics and sometimes that makes getting a natural looking, good picture tough. Vanity, Vanity, all is Vanity.

Why do we worry so about our appearance, getting just the right picture and why do so many people struggle with self esteem? Well, because we are ugly. Not in the merely superficial aspect of appearance, but deep down in our conscience we all know that there is a gruesome truth about ourselves that, even though we may look fine on the surface, underneath lies a stinking, filthy, cesspool of sin. It is there and we can hide it from the world's eyes with good behavior, and pancake make-up. We can pretend to be glowing, shimmering beacons of light, but even when we have convinced ourselves that we are really OK and created a loggerhead of self esteem that masks all our hidden flaws, we know what lies beneath the surface.

Even with great self esteem, when we look at ourselves, the evil within twists what we see into ugliness in our own eyes. The profile pic or the mirror says you are not pretty, you have a big nose, your eyes are too close together or far apart. I look at you and I see great beauty and none of those flaws that you see, but you look and see each one!

So what is the Godly perspective? Well that's pretty much it, when He looks at you God sees you with every flaw and in all your wickedness and you are ugly. But God sent His own Son to pay for your sin, and wash away all it's ugliness with His own life's blood. Now you can be seen for what He made you to be! His child. His precious creation, and worth a great sacrifice.

You are a beautiful, custom made, one of a kind, first, last, and only, special production run, specifically crafted for the Father's glory, child of God...pictures don't do you justice, so don't worry about being picky, they're all good, but nothing compared to the real you! :)

Sin drives us away from God and leaves us lost, separated and alone. Christ took your place, was separated from the Father, and abandon. He took your punishment even though He did not deserve it because you are that precious to Him. Don't let self esteem keep you from seeing yourself as you really are. When you see yourself correctly, you will know that you need Him to fix your real trouble. When you are transformed into a new creation through repentance and faith, you will see the Godly perspective on your worth!

Here is a special note to the ladies: I made this for you! I see so many beautiful girls who cannot see themselves as anything but flawed. We are all flawed, but true beauty is not in your appearance, it is in the character transformed by God, and lived out by faith in Christ!

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

Hope

2010-12-04T11:27:00.002-05:00

I left you hanging with my last blog wondering how we fixed the situation with a problem child. With the remainder of this three part blog, I will attempt to close out that story and tie in the whole theme of hope.

By way of a quick review, I had discovered that, while I was someone who wanted to follow God's Word on forgiveness and show Mercy and Grace, when it came to actually living out these things I wasn't really living up to what I said I believed. It took a troublesome little boy to reveal this to me and I was just getting ready to share my solution to the problem of "Billy", (not his real name).

The problem was broader than only myself and it became clear that as Children's Church director, I was going to have to figure out a way for all of the boy's teachers to interact with him and open a path to loving him in Christ. I spoke to the pastor and brainstormed the situation. There was something seriously wrong with what was happening here. It wasn't just that we were having trouble with some child it was that we were not demonstrating the Love of Christ to him in the process of dealing with him. Something had to change.

I started wondering if I could deal with the circumstances that he was in. He had to be feeling hopeless. In fact I realized that if God held me to the same standard that we were holding this child to, none of us would be able to stand.

If God's compassions were not new every morning, we would be destroyed for each day's sin, even before we could get out of bed in the morning. Here the prior weeks behavior was held against this child and he was not getting new compassions from us. To this child we were acting like the wicked slave who, having been shown great mercy by his master and having had his debt forgiven, turns and casts his fellow slave into prison for a minor debt. This is not to say that we cannot or should not discipline, or correct a child, but that we must seek to find ways to show grace and mercy and be willing to hold out hope for those who have sinned.

The next week I had children's church, and Billy was going to be there. Just thinking differently would not be enough, I would have to set the stage differently. I determined to meet with him in the hallway as we walked from the sanctuary back to the room.

Once I caught up with him I said "Billy, I am really looking forward to having you in class today! I have a really good lesson planned and I want you to be a part of it. I think you will really like it, and we are going to do some coloring today too." That was all I said, but I meant it and it set the tone for class.

True to form, Billy began to disrupt the class. He crawled under the table disturbing the other kids and interrupting my lesson before I could even get it started good. I ignored his behavior as long as I could and finally I said, "Hey Billy, its time to have our lesson, will you take a seat at the table so we can begin." He looked at me but didn't stop his behavior so I started the lesson.

As I began to speak, he looked up and started to listen. He moved over and took his seat finally and I was able to finish my lesson with little interruption. It was a long way from perfect but it was a huge step in the right direction. Finally someone wanted him in their class, and finally he had motivation to obey.

Hope is something that many people have and it is often a false hope. Many of Billy's teachers offered him a false hope that they would be pleased with him if he acted right or didn't misbehave. For Billy this was no hope at all. He knew he would never be able to live up to the expectations of his teachers so he had decided not to try. When I let him know that I wanted him in my class room and I was looking forward to spending time with him, I offered him real hope.

This hope wasn't rooted in performance, it was rooted in the grace of God. As I began to recognize my sin and deal with it, I found that I didn't really hate this boy. I found a love for him that I didn't even know existed. God changed my heart towards him and in that new care for him, he experienced the hope that comes only from God. Billy for the first time saw that God's compassions do not fail and they are new every morning.

I had many more opportunities to catch him before class and tell him that I was looking forward to having him participate in the learning. I never again had the level of trouble I had from him before. Most days he was attentive and participated in the class. I shared my success with the other teachers and encouraged them to do similar things with him. Those who put forth a real effort to work with him all saw improved results and began to appreciate him more.

The bottom line is this...I think Billy had a greater impact on me than I ever had on him! But more on that later...

Hope is in the Lord and we are to be like Him.

2010-11-26T21:32:00.000-05:00

On my last blog I talked about the need we all have for hope. I spoke about an experience I had that helped shape some of my thoughts about how to share the love of Christ by ministering Grace to others. The passage below helped me shape my thoughts during this experience and I want to share this experience with you.

^{Lamentations 3:19}Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. ²⁰Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 2¹This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. ²²The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ²⁴"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." ²⁵The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. ²⁶It is good that he waits silently For the salvation of the LORD.

I am really struggling with how to relate this story and not lose the significance of the principle. There is a whole heart attitude in this that effects the way we even think about the people around us. As I suggest in the title, we must become more like Christ if we are to call ourselves Christian at all. In the very heart attitudes we carry around (even the ones no one ever sees overtly displayed) we must genuinely adopt the Love of Christ and seek to live it out towards others on more than just a surface level.

The problem I had with the child who is at the center of this story, is that I didn't like him. I could pretend to like him, even love him, but it wasn't in my heart to do it. I began to realize that this child was exposing something seriously flawed in me. I could not extend grace to someone I didn't like. As adults we tend to accept this kind of attitude in ourselves toward those who have offended or angered us. We don't really see it as a problem, even though Jesus did.

Jesus explains the problem of this lack of forgiveness in the story of the king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves in Matthew 18:23-35. We find a slave forgiven a great debt who does not honor the king who forgave him by showing the same forgiveness to others. This is a big deal and it is this same characteristic of God that Lamentations describes and Jesus calls us to emulate. If it wasn't for God's willingness to show me new mercy every day, how could I stand before Him? But do I honor God by showing new mercy every day to others?

As regards to the child in question, in my defense, showing grace like that is very difficult to do, humanly speaking. This child was only a 4 year old but he was a problem. He was difficult for every teacher he had. This young man was not only hard to deal with he was disruptive to the class and impossible to ignore. He would not listen to your instructions, and he created circumstances that routinely forced the other teachers and myself to seek the parents and ask them to take him out.

The worst part was that I found myself not just wanting to avoid the child but actually dreading having him in class. I even started to dislike him on a personal level. That was the wake up call that caused me to pull up short. I was supposed to be a Christian and an educator and this kid was a challenge but not my enemy. I began to seriously pray for an answer and seek the Lord's help with this situation.

I began to observe more and try to discover what made this child tick. He was in his own right a difficult child. There may have been some slight mental handicap or other problem that contributed to his way of doing things, but he was still just a kid, and he needed to know the Lord and be loved. Then it clicked and I finally began to see the connection. None of us were living out Lamentations by showing him new compassion, or Matthew by showing him true grace. All the teachers were anticipating trouble from him and holding last week's offences against him.

Sure enough I began to observe that teachers were saying things like, "Now, Billy, I don't want any trouble out of you today." and "Billy, I don't want to have to go get your mom today, so make sure you behave." Then they would proceed to wait for him to mess up and send him out. He didn't really have to work hard at it to get in trouble either. They were expecting his behavior to be bad and he never failed to deliver.

But more on that later...

Hope is in the Lord.

2010-08-29T00:35:00.000-04:00

Wow, I have been gone for a long time. I hope everyone will forgive me for my negligence. It is one of the many struggles that I have when it comes to managing time and resources. We did not have Internet for a long time and it was virtually impossible for me to manage a blog without it.

It finally became evident that I would have to invest some of our resources in finding an Internet Service Provider as school began. Since the girls are both in college now and need access to it daily and the younger kids need it for their school lessons and research, it seems like a reasonable expense.

So here we go again, the school year in full swing for all five kids, and me trying to make ends meet between work, kids, everyday needs and keeping a roof over our heads. Sometimes I am very hard pressed and I feel like there is too much on my plate. It is easy to begin to feel hopeless. I wonder if I will ever feel like I have a cushion or if I will always be on the edge of overwhelmed.

Where is hope to be found? How do we live in such away that our children feel that there is hope? Lamentations is a powerful book filled with hope and chapter 3 is a magnificent resource for understanding many things about life, our circumstances, and the Lord's role in things. It is well worth the time you might take to give it a read. I warn you though it takes a while to get to the hope in Chapter 3. The first 18 verses describe utter hopelessness. The worst part is that the hopelessness comes from the Lord as a result of His righteous wrath against sin.

Verse 18 ends on the happy note:

So I say, "My strength has perished,

And so has my hope from the LORD."

You might ask what is the point of this happy blog? Well, I have had some experience with teaching and parenting and I have found that even the smallest of children need hope. Hope that they can please their parent. Hope that they can please their teacher. Hope that when we fail, somehow we can be restored. All of us need hope that we can get back in the good graces of those in authority over us. When we as adults show grace to those over whom we exercise authority, we are demonstrating the Love of God in a most tangible way.

After the first 18 verses, the writer gets to the good part. He remembers the grace of God and God's mercy...

^{Lamentations 3:19}Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. ²⁰Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 2¹This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. ²²The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ²⁴"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." ²⁵The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. ²⁶It is good that he waits silently For the salvation of the LORD.

I often struggle to live with hope, but these verses help remind me of the source of my strength and hope. It helps me remember that my circumstances are not where I find hope, but my hope is in the Lord and He will never fail to keep His promises.

I am going to keep this blog short, and next time I want to share an experience that I had as a Children's Church Teacher. This experience had a profound impact on me and the way I do things. It shapes my thoughts and approach toward the people in my life. But, more on that later...

Anyone have .50 cent?

2010-06-19T22:58:00.000-04:00

I ended my last blog with this sentence:

"As a teaser, on my next blog I will explore the life altering riddle concerning the person who put a nickel in a .50 cent Juke box, and expected to get a coke."

This is that blog...

Life altering may be a slight exaggeration, unless you're the guy with the nickel. The truth is I think this may describe more of us than we would like to admit. It is one of the prime sources of anger and frustration in the lives of most people. I often find when I am angry with some one it is because they haven't met my expectations in some way.

There is a legitimate anger that may arise when this happens, and some things require a response. When sin is present there is a righteous anger, tempered with humility that should be present. The response is carefully outlined in Scripture and has as its goal the restoration of the offender. Unfortunately in our daily existence, too often righteousness and humility are not present, nor are they even thought of.

Generally speaking we get angry and do not consider our own sin. Sin that may have even caused the other party to sin. Sin that may blind us to our need for humility. Self-righteous sin that has us condemning the other without first considering the Log that is in our own eye, as it were, or seeking to understand the offence.

That, by the way is the "Judge" part of "Judge not lest ye be judged". We must judge in the sense of discerning truth from error, sin from righteousness, Godly from ungodly. We can see wrong behavior in others and we can call it what it is. Sin. But we do not need to condemn them for it. God has already condemned the behavior and He will either judge them according to their sin, or on the basis of salvation, He will forgive their sin according to His grace.

We should rather be clear and in all humility condemn the behavior, and pray for repentance of the offender. We should also pray for ourselves that we would not fall into the same sin.

I used the riddle "put a nickel in a .50 cent Juke box, and expected to get a coke" comment when talking with a friend to help illustrate the problem. An event that they were struggling with, had left them angry and resentful. I wanted a gentle way of talking about how easy it is for us to get angry as if another person was sinning against us. We should remember that all sin is an offence to God and while the sin effects us we need to be careful that we are angry for righteous reasons and not because we had wrong expectations.

We will put a nickel's worth of effort into finding out the what, where, when, and why of someones behavior. We establish expectations based on what we think they should do, and then we are angry and frustrated when we do not have our expectations met. We don't even get to hear any music because we didn't go the whole nine yards and put in .50 cents.

With respect to married folk, this is what it means in 1 Peter 3:7 when Peter says, "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." We are to invest the time to develop expectations in keeping with the woman we are married to, and she likewise needs to develop expectations in keeping with the man she is married to.

How often does a woman expect to receive flowers and poetry from a man who expresses his love by keeping a well tended garden, and caring for her car. Likewise the woman who expresses her love with cute notes in his lunch box and dinner on the table, when he expects moon eyes and a spotless house. Both are expecting good things but both are disappointed because they are not living together with understanding. Both should be willing to grant to the other those reasonable expectations, even though they are difficult and not their preferred way so that there is peace and joy in the home.

In the process of granting your partner the coke for a nickel when you are actually a .50 cent juke box, you demonstrate genuine sacrificial love and your marriage will have long lasting strength. There will also be less anger and stress.

What?!

2010-06-15T01:40:00.002-04:00

You know, sometimes life conspires to interfere with blogging. I have had this post in the works almost since my last post and I am only now getting it out.

I want to talk about something I said in an earlier blog. I made the comment "I don't date." Now that might sound strange to some of you and it might also make me weird. There is more to it than those three words would suggest. Like most facets of my life there is nothing simple about anything I chose to do.

Some of the reasoning is simply practical. I do not have much disposable income or time for searching for potential prospects. My job requirements and the obligation I feel toward my children has kept me from feeling comfortable using my time and resources for personal pursuits. That, and what kind of insane woman would date a guy with five kids and no money?

There are a variety of opinions as to whether or not it is sinful for a divorced man to remarry, or if there is a pathway through the divorce process that allows for remarriage. I have looked at the passages that speak to my circumstance quite carefully and while there is room for debate I do believe that it is possible for a Christian to go through a divorce and remarry without immersing themselves or their family in a sinful destructive pattern.

I could fill up pages and pages going through the various ins and outs of that whole issue. For now let me just say that because I did not choose divorce, was willing and actively tried to reconcile the marriage, and never broke my marriage vows, I am confident that I am at liberty to remarry without being in sin.

So what is it about dating that I find so problematic? For one thing I teach my children that dating is kind of pointless until you are at an age and time in life when you can have a relationship who's main goal is marriage. If you can't support a wife and feed a family, and you aren't ready to marry, dating is a good way to ravage your emotions and damage your heart. It also makes for potentially destructive life situations.

Dating when you are not able to marry is kind of like window shopping without any money. You invest your emotions in something that you do not have the ability to purchase. Worse you get the person on the other side to make the same investment. The end result is two hearts that have been damaged and hardened by the experience.

So what then, never date? I think dating within the marriage is a wonderful thing. Prior to that, I think that group events, and spending time getting to know one another through social events is a much better plan. Even employing tools like Face book or other media to develop the initial interest is a much better way to go.

It gives a couple the opportunity to lay the ground work so that everyone is going into the relationship with the same goal in mind. Both parties establish that they are ready to consider marriage, and both agree that they are willing to spend some time evaluating each other. Then you take the time to ask questions and really get to know one another. Find out if your lives are a good match and that you have similar interests.

Basically I am describing courting. I think that, especially in today's world where there are so many divorces, we have to look at the way we go about choosing a mate, and place a high value on the marriage relationship. Society is failing us in this regard and we are becoming bankrupt as a nation due to the ease and acceptance of divorce.

I have even greater need to use caution. I have Five young lives who will be dramatically effected by any relationship I have with anyone. The woman who becomes my wife will have to be willing to take on a lot and the children's lives will be dramatically altered. It would be horribly reckless of me to treat my relationships as casually as going out on a date.

I have a feeling there will be more on that later...

As a teaser, on my next blog I will explore the life altering riddle concerning the person who put a nickel in a .50 cent Juke box, and expected to get a coke.

About the Frog

2010-06-03T00:00:00.001-04:00

I apologize for the many days since my last blog. I have started several times to get back to it and there have just been too many things going on and I have been too tired to do it. I actually feel kind of bad about it since I left everyone with a bit of a cliff hanger. I do that on purpose to keep you all interested and it appeals to my dark sinister side. That being said, it only works if you don't keep your audience waiting too long, they get bored and give up or lose interest.

Fortunately I have a tale here that sparks a lot of interest and should draw a crowd. I mean really, who else has a father that instead of being called Grandpa, or paw paw, or papaw, or even Opa, goes by the moniker Bull Frog, or Frog? It just isn't your every day nickname, and the weird thing is all the kids and their friends love it, and call him Frog. There is something special about that and it has become a subtle privilege that the kids all enjoy. With a wisp of pride, they will introduce him as Frog and eagerly await the response. He eats up the attention too.

Now as for the story itself, there are several variations, none of which fully account for the label. The Frog himself claims that he received the nickname as a child when he either fell down a well, or was sent down a well and was stuck for a period of time. An uncle who observed his predicament said he "looked like a bullfrog down in that well!" and the name stuck. I don't buy it, it doesn't have a transition to today. I mean why did I never hear that nick name all the years I spent growing up in his house? Then it magically shows up again when my kids came along? I don't think so. Not that I doubt my dad's story, I just don't think it accounts for the superglue adhesion of the name today.

My story is more interesting, and brings the issue into the modern era. When my oldest daughter was expanding my ex-wife's midsection, the ex got a cold that left her voice weak and raspy. She sounded like a frog. I began to tease her with the nickname froggy, and accuse her of getting ready to have a polliwog. All in good fun of course. A few days later, my dad ended up with a similar sore throat, and I said "great, the wife is all froggy, were having a polliwog and my dad has turned into a bullfrog." As the kids got older I liked to tell the story about that and eventually they started calling him by the name.

OK, that's kinda weak too.

Another version involves my dad brainwashing the kids when they were young by saying "Frog" over and over again until they started saying it. His motivation was to avoid getting some boring nickname that would make him feel old...this is one of my mom's theories. In order to fully understand the irony of my last statement see my previous blog "Back to Nana and Frog."

Another version that my dad tried to put forth involved some story he wrote about looking like Clark Gable
but the details of that story were written down in a letter to my daughter on the occasion of her 18th birthday, and I will leave that to others to relate. If I can get a copy of that story and permission from the Frog, I will tell it too.

Unfortunately there will forever be some mystery about the source of the nickname. I suppose its better that way. Perhaps one day the whole truth will come out, but in the mean time we will have to enjoy the name and the man who owns it!

Back to Nana and Frog.

2010-05-23T15:56:00.001-04:00

How on earth did we get a Nana and Frog in the family? Who are they and where did their names come from? Well I will tell you, but first, have you ever noticed how annoying it is when someone starts talking about one thing and then gets sidetracked? They start going on and on about a random subject and never get back to the main point. Well that's not going to happen here?

Have you ever seen a squirrel going through the woods, they always look like they know what they're doing but if you watch long enough you get the idea that they are really clueless. Wandering around until they stumble upon what they are looking for. You think if they could just focus for a minute they might accomplish something. Oh well, where was I? Oh, yes getting sidetracked...no wait it was Nana and Frog.

There are many stories about the Genesis of these names in the family, and I have no intention of getting into endless disputes. I will tell my version, and any family member that would like to dispute the facts can write their own stinkin' blog! Ha, Ha! OK, so that was a little over the top, sorry.

So the whole Nana thing goes back to when my mom first became a Grandmother. She hated the name Grand mom, Grandmother, Granny, and any other reference that made her feel old. Unfortunately the title Granny Judy had begun to stick and she really didn't like this. Mema was taken and there didn't seem to be anything that suited her.

Secretly, I think she was hoping for some sort of cute non-grandmotherly nick name that one of the kids might cling to, like Gaga, or Mamaw, or something unintelligible that sounded cute and defied all spelling rules. No such luck, she just never got so labelled.

Finally frustrated, she decided to take matters into her own hands and pursue a nickname that met her criteria and that she could retrain the kids to call her. Unfortunately this search wasn't going so hot either, and frustration was building.

OK, I am really freaking out here, I just looked over my computer and into the kitchen. My 15 year old son has emptied out the fridge...no surprise in and of itself...but he did it so he could clean it. Either he is in deep trouble, or the fridge had gotten so gross that he had to clean it. Now I am going to bask in the moment...............bask........Ahh.

More on that later...

So we are visiting the grandparents and my youngest son, who was around 5 at the time, comes into the kitchen with the desire for a banana. There was a mild explosion where fate met frustration and poor verbal skills collided with hearing loss to give birth to Nana.

For those of you in Rio Linda (as Rush would say) I will explain...Isaac innocently asked for a banana, and it came out nana. Nana heard it as though he called her by that name and she moved strategically to put an end forever to "Granny Judy." Of course, my oldest kids, who had grown quite accustomed to "Granny Judy" have never quite let it go.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. See the comments below after my Mom reads this for the various corrections and grammatical errors that will be pointed out.

More on the Frog in my next blog...Hehe, I am such a poetical genius, and humble too.

So what are a Nana and Frog?

2010-05-23T00:32:00.000-04:00

Big mistake to let your mom read your blog!

2010-05-19T22:02:00.000-04:00

OK, so I chose to have five kids!

2010-05-17T23:41:00.001-04:00

That's right I chose to have five kids, not so much the number specifically, but the willingness to be so blessed. Now please don't misunderstand, I do not mean to imply anything negative towards people who have made other choices, or who have been unable to have children of their own. I know and love people who couldn't have children or because of difficult pregnancies or difficult circumstances, had to stop having children, that is perfectly OK. People make their choices for a variety of reasons but not all of them are Biblical.

If you want to reference more of my thoughts on having so many children, please read my first Blog http://1dad5kidsinsane.blogspot.com/2010/05/first-blog-ever.html .

I think it is notable that I have been criticized a lot over the years in various ways for having so many children. From the radio celebrity who makes a prejudicial comment on his program about irresponsible people who have too many children, to the self-professed comedian who quips "hey, don't you know what causes that?", to close Christian friends who politely take me aside to share their opinions. The assumption is always the same...you are irresponsible to have so many children.

Let me say first that, um...duh! of course I know what causes it. As for the irresponsible part, first, I did not create these children, God did. No decision, action, desire, or even prayer on my part caused these children to be born. God is the cause of my existence and that of all my children and to Him be all the Glory. If I could change anything in that regard, I wouldn't. I am grateful for the children He has granted me and all the challenges they present.

It is also true that no effort on my part will change my financial status...I know, thats down right unAmerican...but it is true. God grants to me all that I have, and while I am to be responsible and be a good steward of the funds He provides, I cannot force through the raise I would desire. God must give me favor in the sight of my employer or provide other opportunities to earn money. (and I am not idle.)

It has only been in the last 60 years or so that people have lost this understanding with regards to the sovereignty of God in our economic success and our reproductive success. Prior to that time people didn't talk about reproductive rights, or making these decisions, and looked to God for provision. People either hoped they got pregnant or hoped they didn't and they generally understood that only abstinence was certain to prevent pregnancy. People did not try nearly as much to take responsibility over the size of their family or when the children would come, and they adjusted their lifestyle to accommodate the family that God blessed them with. Not that people didn't have ways to influence these things to a certain extent, but it wasn't like it is today where people seem to have forgotten that God is in control of these things.

If you want children it is simply a medical problem that can be overcome. If people don't want children it is simply a medical problem to be addressed.

God's Word is clear about His role in all these things. See below:

Psalm 127
¹Unless the LORD builds the house,
         They labor in vain who build it;
         Unless the LORD guards the city,
         The watchman keeps awake in vain.
    ²It is vain for you to rise up early,
         To retire late,
         To eat the bread of painful labors;
         For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
    ³Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
         The fruit of the womb is a reward.
    ⁴Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
         So are the children of one's youth.
    ⁵How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
         They will not be ashamed
         When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Welcome my loyal Fan!

2010-05-16T23:08:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends, I am so excited, I have one follower, and It isn't just me! Woohoo!

I am going down a slightly different road with tonight's blog. Given that the title of this blog is one dad, five kids, and staying sane, i suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about my daily grind.

No two days are ever alike. I made the choice when I entered into the process of divorce, three plus years ago, that I would remain dedicated to one thing...I would be my kid's Dad. Generally speaking I have set aside my personal life so that I am available for my kids whenever they need me. I do not date, or make plans that do not include them. I also maintain an attitude of peace and happiness when I am blessed with "unexpected" opportunities to spend time with them.

These unexpected times happen often enough that I should expect them...and I do. Now this would not be possible if it wasn't for the sacrificial time my two oldest daughters grant to the cause. Financially I could never afford to have a baby sitter on stand-by. For them it has meant quite a lot of inconvenience, but I have always believed and taught that family is important and love is sacrificial. That being said, my daughters are real troopers and demonstrate genuine sacrificial love to their siblings.

As a rule, in an effort to compensate for this, I try to get home in the afternoons as soon as possible. I give my helpers, as much liberty as I am able, and I try to facilitate opportunities for them to enjoy the things they like to do.

Saturday was not terribly restful, I got up late around 8:00am. I had to go to work so I gave the kids the choice to go with me or stay at the house and get some cleaning done. A quick bowl of cereal and picking up the house, doing laundry, doing dishes, getting the living room picked up and trading off dishes with Isaac, so I could get several other things done and I was out the door...at 11:30.

My goal had been to leave around 9:00am and be through around 12 or 1PM. No big deal, so we would get a later start, we were ready to hit the ground running. Of course not before making a house payment and having to go to Good Will and buy Isaac (who elected to be my helper) a pair of shorts and a shirt because he couldn't find any before we left.

Nothing went smoothly at the first stop and I had to go buy parts within 5 minutes of getting there. By the third stop I was worn out and it was 3PM. Not only that, the third stop was an unexpected stop, took longer than it should have and was capped by an needless hour and a half, $112.00 delay. Finally finished work around 7:30P and went home.

Here it gets interesting. Emma had spent the day with Nana and Frog (more on that later) and was going to spend the night and go to church with them. Then she changed her mind so they brought her home at around 8:00pm. So I *inhales loudly and deeply for run on sentence* put her to bed, made sure the clothes were washed, started this blog and checked Facebook and email, interacted with all the kids, love, hugs, kisses, goodnight, I said goodnight...GO TO BED NOW!...and around 1:00am I discovered I was too tired to think...

OK, so now I am hooked on Blogging!

2010-05-15T00:50:00.002-04:00

That's right, who would have thought that just the act of posting my first blog would start me on a mental odyssey. I have thought about my next blog all day. I am sure this will wear off in time, but I am somewhat surprised by it. Obviously I like to talk too much and I can't keep my thoughts to myself very well. I guess that's just part of my make up. Maybe a sinful part if not unchecked, but if directed properly, perhaps the Lord may use it for His Glory.

Now the real trick will be keeping it interesting and relevant. I don't want to disappoint my public and my many followers.

In my first attempt at blogging, I teased you all with a clever comment and the words "More on that later." The comment was, and I quote: "The course of my life was dramatically changed when I discovered that saying you're a Christian really doesn't mean anything." A real cliff hanger!

As a young man I considered myself a Christian. This is interesting since that's kind of like claiming to be a car because you're in the garage. My family had stopped attending church when I was 5 years old due to a conflict with a particular church environment. They assumed that their faith, would adequately influence me toward the Lord.

Unfortunately I knew nothing of their faith and its practices, principles or doctrines. This didn't keep me from knowing that my parents were baptists, so I must be a baptist too. Baptists are Christians so I was a christian. Thus saying that you're a Christian doesn't really mean anything.

I had learned enough to have a mild fear of God and this kept me from being directly confrontational towards God. But any true knowledge of God was speculative at best and I had largely formed my own views as seemed best to me.

Proverbs 14
¹²There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.

I was traveling my own path and unwittingly following the way of all flesh. I was making up my own belief system that had nothing to do with any reality but my own...and it wasn't working.

More on that later...

First Blog Ever!

2010-05-14T00:43:00.002-04:00

OK, so I have never blogged before, and I am full of questions and curiosity. Will anyone follow this, and do my thoughts matter to the general public? Can I really share things of a personal nature and bless those who read it? Am I creative enough to pull this off and can I post often enough to keep you interested? Well, can I?

I guess that remains to be seen. I will give it my best effort and we will see where we end up. Follow and comment and guide me with feedback and we will go down this road together.

I guess some background is in order. I am a Christian. The course of my life was dramatically changed when I discovered that saying you're a Christian really doesn't mean anything. More on that later. Being a Christian has meant that the decisions I have made and the choices I have made brought me to a place in life I did not anticipate when I was a youth. Hence the Five Kids mentioned in the title. I never planned on having five kids even though I always wanted children.

One key chapter in Psalms changed my plans in this regard.

Psalm 127
¹Unless the LORD builds the house,
         They labor in vain who build it;
         Unless the LORD guards the city,
         The watchman keeps awake in vain.
    ²It is vain for you to rise up early,
         To retire late,
         To eat the bread of painful labors;
         For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
    ³Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
         The fruit of the womb is a reward.
    ⁴Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
         So are the children of one's youth.
    ⁵How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
         They will not be ashamed
         When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

If My children are a blessing from God designed just for me, and He promises to provide for my needs, who am I to tell God that I don't want His blessings?

Now if that doesn't inspire some comments I am no judge of my fellow man. Lets see what happens now...

Remember this is a marathon blog. I have just begun the stretching exercises.