One Duck's Opinion

By This Time Next Year: The Final Edition

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 03:01:00 +0000

As you may have guessed by the title, I'll be ending the blog officially. After this post and The Golden Duck Awards it shall be over (It'll be online, just not updated... Not much of a change, really). More details will be included in a final blog post which will be written towards the end of the month.

Welcome to the fourth and final edition of "By This Time Next Year", in which I will revisit my predictions made way back on December 4th, 2009. Without any further delay, let's jump right in.

"...Pikmin 3 will have been formally announced" = WRONG

Oh how painful it is to label this prediction inaccurate. Sadly, for yet another year, E3 has come and gone without any word regarding a new Pikmin game. Again. Come on, Miyamoto, let's get going!

"...Half-Life 2: Episode 3 will have gone another year without any sort of official announcement" = Correct!

Unlike the previous prediction, this one is correct. Just like the previous, though, the outcome is pretty crummy. A whole year and pretty much nothing. Way back in March Gabe Newell mentioned that future Half-Life games will turn back to "genuinely scaring the player" once more, but beyond that, nothing. Well, at least we're getting Portal 2...

"...a long-standing, long-since-forgotten Nintendo franchise will make its triumphant return" = Correct!

I had a feeling this would come true, but I didn't expect it would come true twice! At E3 2010 Nintendo announced both Kid Icarus: Uprising and Donkey Kong Country Returns, two classic franchises that have been absent for far too long. Even better, Donkey Kong Country Returns is out already, and it's getting amazing reviews. Let's hope Kid Icarus gets the same reception!

"...Project Natal will have been delayed until 2011" = WRONG

Now known as Kinect, the peripheral did indeed launch as scheduled, striking a blow to my score. I'm kind of surprised, really. I honestly didn't think it'd be ready so soon (And according to a few reviewers, it isn't).

"...people will still be erroneously calling the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 'next-generation'" = Correct!

Oh how painfully true this one is. ATTENTION CITIZENS: If a console is already available, it's NOT "next-generation", okay? If it's available, it is CURRENT. Say it with me: C-U-R-R-E-N-T. Damn it, people.

"...Mario Party 9 will have been released" = WRONG

Nintendo actually surprised me here... sort of. A party game was released by Nintendo, but under the name "Wii Party". SO CLOSE. Oh well.

"...Zelda Wii will have been confirmed for a Summer 2011 release" = Correct! ...ish

Yes. Yes. Yes. And more yes. At E3 2010 Nintendo pulled back the curtains on the long-awaited, built-exclusively-for-Wii The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. The only problem? There's no specific release date yet. Just "TBA 2011". Could it be Summer? Possibly, but it can't be said for sure. I'm going to call this one 50/50 correct/wrong; Correct in that it was announced, but wrong in that there's no specified release date.

"...yet another same-as-before Call of Duty game will have been released, and people will still be yet to tire of it" = Correct!

...

...

Hmm? What? Oh, yeah. Uh huh. Sorry, the subject of this one is just so mind-numbing. It happened. Moving along.

"...a brand-new Nintendo IP will have been announced" = WRONG

Not much to say here, really, since it was wrong. Nothing happened, nothing to write about.

"...SEGA will once again bring shame to the Sonic brand" = WRONG (Wait, what?)

Oh boy, another Sonic game. What sort of crapfest is it this ti-Wait... Sonic Colors is GOOD? ...I... WHAT? GOOD? Oh, well, I'm sure Sonic 4 was terri- Oh. Apparently that was alright. Huh. Um... Aha! Sonic: Free Riders was terrible, wasn't it? It was? HA! I WI- What? It doesn't count? FIDDLESTICKS.

-----

Well, that's that. Now for my prediction accuracy... 50%? Well, that could've gone better. Ooh, what's this? In the comments section of last year's post...

Who does this guy think he is, huh? STEALING MY THUNDER? Well, let's have a look at these predictions of his.

"A new form of DS, be it an upgrade or a successor, will either be shown or released" = Correct!

Well, he's got me there. As he predicted, the 3DS was revealed at E3 2010 this year, and it's pretty darn awesome, too. YOU WIN THIS ROUND, RAWFUL

"At least 2 Mario games will be released" = Correct!

Why that little... Ahem. Yes, he's right. Technically four Mario games have been released since then, but I won't be counting one of them (Super Mario Galaxy 2), as it was already announced when he wrote this. I don't appreciate cheating, boyo! (If you were wondering, the three released games are Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem!, Super Mario All-Stars 25th Anniversary Edition and Mario Sports Mix, the latter two only available in Japan at the moment.)

So that makes his prediction accuracy... 100%? Well, I guess you guys know who you'll be going to for your predictions now that this blog is closing.

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Last Night's 3DS Announcements: Thoughts, Opinions and Surprises

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 18:51:00 +0000

Third post in a row with the 3DS as its primary subject. When will the madness end?!

It would be an understatement to say last night's conference was surprising. To start, a quick recap of what I expected as opposed to what actually happened.

I began my last post with the assumption that we'd hear the Japanese launch date, and, as expected, this came true. What wasn't expected, however, was the launch date itself: February 26th, 2011. I, along with many others, were certain that a November 2010 release date would be announced. In retrospect, though, it only makes sense to launch it next year, rather than cannibalize the sales of Nintendo's many Winter 2010 releases. Launch the 3DS in November and you can pretty much say goodbye to sales for games such as Kirby's Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong Country Returns. While it may suck for us, it makes good business sense.

Related to the above, I was fairly certain that there would be no word on a North American release date just yet. As was the case with my previous prediction, this, too, was wrong. A vague date of "March 2011" was given, and not just for North America, but every other major market. So much for me getting the best birthday present ever... Well, at least my release date period guess was correct! Curiously, though, this points towards a nigh-simultaneous launch all around the world, which, as I stated in the previous post, would create one heck of a limited supply. Better start lining up at Gamestop now, folks!

One announcement that did actually match up with my predictions was the final 3DS design. The changes, however, are far less drastic than I anticipated. A few minor tweaks around the slide pad are pretty much all that happened. The two separate types of plastic comprising the lower half still remain, sadly. I don't get why they didn't change that; It would look much sleeker with one solid colour. Speaking of sleekness, the overly-chunky hinge corners remain, raising many similarities between the 3DS and the original DS model. Does this mean a 3DS Lite will be coming our way within two years? Probably. Will this stop me from grabbing the 3DS "Fat" on launch? Not even close.

My final prediction concerned the announcement of an additional, game-changing feature within the 3DS, such as a multi-touch screen or a Kinect-like camera. I didn't really expect either feature to be implemented, and, as expected (Or unexpected?), neither was... Nor was any other new game-changing feature. A few features we'd heard of previously, though, we're more adequately fleshed-out, such as a game-pausing Home button that allows users to browse the internet or perform other functions mid-play (Sounds like a DSi feature I proposed some time ago). Not quite game-changing, but certainly a helpful feature.

Not attention turns to the announcements I didn't consider, such as the price announcement. First of all, I need to say I have no idea how I managed to forget this one. I guess it was just sort of lumped-in with the release date announcement. Anyways, the price was announced and... Well, this was my reaction*. The 3DS will retail for ~~599 US dollars~~* 25,000 Yen, which translates to, oh, roughly $300 USD*. Not all hope is lost, though, as this was the Japanese launch price for the Wii as well, and that started at $250 USD. In all likelihood Nintendo won't do a direct conversion on the price, and we'll end up paying far less than $300. After all, Nintendo wouldn't sell a handheld for a higher price than the Wii... Would they?

And now for a quick rundown and opinion regarding all other interesting 3DS announcements:

-Miis have been confirmed for the 3DS, with a built-in editor that's actually better than the one found on the Wii. How about updating that one, too, while you're at it?
-Miis can also be created instantly by taking a picture of a face. The system will then attempt to recreate the picture as closely as possible. Cool idea, but this sort of thing has never worked that well for me in the past. Maybe my face is just too weird.
-One final Mii-related announcement says that Mii data and pictures can be uploaded to an SD card for system-to-system transfer. Finally, a way to get a picture of a Mii without actually having to point a camera at a TV screen!
-The advanced Tag Mode, now known as "StreetPass", can download and transmit data from 3DS to 3DS, even if the game related to the transfer isn't physically in the unit. I foresee many interesting applications of this in the new Animal Crossing.
-The above functionality also extends to internet connectivity, where the 3DS will download game and system updates automatically. The Wii was announced to do this as well, but that promise sort of fell through. Perhaps the 3DS will finally bring this idea to reality?
-Much talk regarding Wi-Fi connectivity seems to hint at a less-restricted online experience. Could Nintendo finally be dropping Friend Codes? Well, no, probably not, but I can hope!
-The 3DS can use both cameras at once to snap a picture of both the player and someone standing in front of them, then merge the pictures into one. This frightens me more than a little.
-Also included in the box with the 3DS is a charging cradle, a 2GB SD card and several special cards for playing augmented reality games. I suppose that helps soften the prospect of the high price point a little bit.
-The 3DS will feature a Virtual Console-type service, allowing for the download of 3D-enhanced Game Boy and Game Boy Color games, as well as retro titles. Game Boy Advance downloads are currently unconfirmed, but would be more than welcome in my eyes!
-The 3DS will be available in two colours at launch: The black unit seen above, and the blue colour seen below. It's unknown if this relates to Japan exclusively or all markets, but judging by recent hardware releases Stateside, I wouldn't expect more than one colour on launch day.

That about covers all the 3DS-related news that surfaced last night. To summarize: Wow. The 3DS is certainly packed-full of features and, by extension, potential, making the wait for March even more difficult than before. I'm certain it will be worth it, though, so I suppose for the time being we should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the wait. To me the anticipation is one of the most exciting parts of a new console coming out. Difficult, yes, but very exciting. Here's to many long months of anticipation!

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*This is why I will never go professional as a writer, and I am fine with this.

The Upcoming 3DS Announcements: Predictions and Opinions

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 21:01:00 +0000

For an explanation regarding the recent void of updates on the blog, click here. Now then, moving along.

In a few short hours Nintendo will be holding a press event all about the 3DS. Many possible announcements float in the air at the moment. Hardware release dates and new software are well within the realm of possibility, along with many other hypothetical headlines.

First off, it's certain that the hardware's Japanese release date will be laid down tonight. After all, that's pretty much the core purpose of the event. Well, as far as we know, at least. Back on subject, many "sources" point to this yet-to-be-announced release dropping on the 11th of November. Can't really call it a prediction what with the crazy amount of outlets pointing in that direction, ergo this paragraph shall just sit here with a blank look on its face, much like I do every day.

Crossing the ocean back to the land upon which my blank look is typically fixated, many are eagerly anticipating a release date for the North American market. Sadly for those people (Myself included, blank stare and all), I just don't see such an announcement taking place tonight. Look anywhere and you'll see a million signs pointing towards the system not hitting our shores until at least 2011. Games deemed launch titles are being quietly announced for next year, bringing the 3DS along with them. Add to that the complications that would result from attempting to release a highly-anticipated system in multiple regions nigh-simultaneously and you've got a 2011 launch date*.

One announcement that's sure to please everyone, however, will be the highly-probable reveal of the 3DS' final design. As has been stated repeatedly since E3, the model we've seen so far is still in development, and changes from that model are surely going to be detailed tonight. I'm anticipating a sleeker design, one without the two different types of plastic comprising the inner and outer halves of the lower section. Doubling the camera on the inside to allow for more 3D picture possibilities would be nice as well, but I'm not exactly expecting it. I suppose such a feature would lend itself to some rather perverse interactions should a video chat service be included...

Slightly related to the above is the announcement of a new built-in, game-changing feature. It was suggested many months ago that the 3D was far from being the most revolutionary of gameplay-related additions to the handheld, and now would be the time to announce such a feature. What could it be? A multi-touch screen on the bottom, allowing for more advanced manipulation of and interaction with the game world? Perhaps the seemingly-normal camera we've seen on the inside is actually a highly-advanced, Kinect-like, hands-free motion controller? Or could there be no final secret after all and I'm just rambling like a madman? I suppose we'll find out shortly.

Uncertainties aside, one thing we all know for sure is that the 3DS is going to be a great system once it hits... Whenever that may happen to be. Whether it's next month or next year, though, it will certainly be worth the wait.

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*Slightly off-topic, I personally believe the 3DS will be hitting North America sometime in February or March 2011. My mind's stuck on February 20th for some unknown reason... Or maybe it could be really cool and launch almost a month earlier, on my birthday (Which conveniently lands on a Sunday). Well, Nintendo, if you've been wondering what to get me this year...

"Nintendo DSi? What's that?"

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 04:11:00 +0000

Those are most certainly to be the words on everyone's lips come this time next year. Heck, I think we're halfway there as is. All anyone can talk about is the 3DS, and who can blame them? It really seems to be an all-round amazing handheld. Where does this leave the recently-released Nintendo DSi line of products, though?

In the dust, to put it bluntly. The 3DS is pretty much a 3D-enabled Gamecube in the palm of your hand, while the DSi is basically the same DS we played in 2004 but with cameras (Which the 3DS also has, one of which being equipped with two lenses for taking 3D pictures). In short, the 3DS is everything the DSi is, and more. The DSi's outlook isn't looking too bright.

I can think of one scenario in which the DSi will continue to succeed alongside the 3DS, but it isn't exactly a happy one. This scenario involves a wallet-strangling prospect: A cripplingly-expensive 3DS. A distressing possibility, the most distressing part being that it's even a possibility at all. The 3DS packs some serious firepower, and it can't be coming cheap. Unless Nintendo wants to sell this handheld at a loss (Something they have never done before), the 3DS is slated to be quite the expensive product. This could very well save the DSi. If they continue selling the DSi at the current price, or perhaps even lower it, it could stick around. The 3DS would be marketed as a "luxury" alternative and the two would live in harmony for a couple years or so.

...or they could sell the 3DS at a loss, make the ad campaign "3DS does was Nintendo(DSi)n't" and obliterate the older product's sales. It's up to Nintendo, I guess.

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Nintendo's E3 2010 Press Conference: Prediction Accuracy

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:00:00 +0000

The day has come and gone, and Nintendo has, in my eyes, completely stolen the show. The 3DS and The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword both look amazing, but the importance of that pales in comparison to the following: My prediction accuracy! Did I just say that a small post on my virtually-unknown blog is superior to Nintendo's entire press conference? Yes. Did I mean it? Not at all. Moving along!

My first prediction was the debut of Pikmin 3. You know, the game Miyamoto's been talking about for years, giving us subtle progress reports all the while? The one so many are eagerly anticipating and frothing at the mouth for? Yeah, didn't show up. Miyamoto did mention it in passing (Again) during his roundtable discussion, but that's it. I'm off to a bad start here. Prediction: WRONG

Not a great start. Next up I predicted a new Animal Crossing game to accompany the 3DS hardware revelation. Did it happen? Yes... but not until after the conference. So this is an incorrect prediction then, right? Well, no, I wouldn't say so. The Nintendo E3 Network is basically like an extended press conference, giving attention to the games unable to fit into the actual presentation's tight schedule. By that logic, I was right. Lovin' loopholes! Prediction: CORRECT(-ish)

Next up is the rumour that Retro would be announcing a new Donkey Kong game. Lo and behold, the rumours came true, and Donkey Kong Country Returns is headed our way, and it'll be here by the end of 2010. Prediction: CORRECT

How about that fifth generation of Pokémon? Two Pokémon games are playable on the show floor today, but, alas, these games are neither Black nor White. Sadly, those of you dying for more information on the next round of Pokémon will just have to wait a little longer. Happily for me, however, my prediction proved true! Prediction: CORRECT

One of Nintendo's strangest announcements at last year's E3 was the Vitality Sensor. Even stranger is the fact that we'd gone a year without any significant news on it. Certainly Nintendo would see fit to bring it out during their press conference, with a slimmer design and exclusive software, right? Well, no. The Vitality Sensor wasn't mentioned even once. And with this, my streak of correct predictions comes to a screeching halt. Prediction: WRONG

And now we come to the one prediction I have made every single year since I started this blog; StarFox making a grand return on the Wii. Due to a lack of evidence, though, this year I had to label this as unlikely. So, of course, now that I don't expect it, a new StarFox is announced. But wait, what's this? It's for 3DS? So my prediction of there not being a new StarFox Wii game was correct? Yet, while still being correct about it not showing up, I still get a StarFox game? This just worked out way too perfectly. Prediction: CORRECT

Next I predicted Nintendo would discuss sales, demographics, all that sort of stuff, and, surprise, they did. Yup. Moving on. Prediction: CORRECT

Last but not least, I made a remarkably-vague prediction that something completely unexpected would happen. I'd say a brand-new Kid Icarus launching alongside the Nintendo 3DS is pretty unexpected. Man, the one time I don't predict a new Kid Icarus... Then again, I probably would've predicted it for Wii, so perhaps things worked out just fine! Prediction: CORRECT! (Duh)

Oh, all the predictions I should have made... I can't believe I forgot to mention Kirby Wii. I guess I can't complain too much, though, as my score today turning out quite positive, with only two of my eight predictions turning out false. Can't ask for much better than that, can I?

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Nintendo's E3 2010 Press Conference: Predictions

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 04:04:00 +0000

Just gonna say I wanted to write up a similar article for the Microsoft press conference (No such intentions for the Sony conference), but I was unexpectedly busy on Sunday watching four guys blow things up in a spectacularly over-the-top manner. As a side note, A-Team was some pretty good action. Now then, moving along...

The time has come once more: Nintendo's E3 2010 press conference is nearly upon us. But we can't go having a press conference without a healthy serving of my predictions, can we? And so I come out of my nearly month-long Springtime hibernation to bring you this, my list of predictions for the rapidly-approaching conference.

First, though, let's get two little things out of the way: The 3DS and The Legend of Zelda. These two things are practically confirmed to be showing up tomorrow, so really, there's no need to "predict" their presence. Alright? Alright. Let's get started.

To get things going, I'll to start with something we've known about for so long yet have seen absolutely nothing of: Pikmin 3. This has been hiding behind the scenes for ages now, and I'd say it's about time for this flower to bloom. Pikmin 3, Nintendo; I know you've got it. Now show it!

Next up I'll play off a little rumour I heard recently. According to Destructoid, Nintendo's planning on launching a new Animal Crossing game with the 3DS. Will it be a revolutionary step for the franchise? Will it bring back all those who were turned away by City Folk's over-familiarity? Heck if I know. Considering the prosperity of the franchise, though, I get the feeling that this little rumour will be going to E3, not crying "wee wee wee" all the way home.

Another rumour that's been floating about is Retro Studios working on a new Donkey Kong game. To give this rumour a little more validity, an IGN staff member Tweeted teasingly in a sly manner, using terms such as "go ape" and "barrel me over". A suggestion of insider knowledge, or just some of that classic trolling we internet users have become so used to? It's hard to tell right now, but man, I could really go for a rumble in the jungle right about now. I'm gonna let my hopes take the wheel here and put this in the "probable" column.

Talk around in some groups and all you'll hear about is Pokémon Black and White. Pokémaniacs are practically (And in some cases, literally) frothing at the mouth for more information on the fifth generation of Pocket Monsters, and they've got themselves convinced that these games will be showing up at the conference tomorrow. Myself being a somewhat reformed Pokémaniac, however, I'm looking at the situation from a more fact-based angle. In the past, information on new Pokémon games has emerged almost exclusively at Japanese venues. While Nintendo's been doing a lot of things differently as of late, I don't see this particular trend changing. If I hear the Pokémon theme coming from my headphones tomorrow afternoon I'll be very surprised.

Turning attention to the Wii, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see a major redesign of the Vitality Sensor showing itself tomorrow. Today Ubisoft showed off a very similar device, and it was far smaller than the clunky device shown hanging off a Wii remote just over a year ago. I've always thought that the Vitality Sensor was over sized, and now I see it's more than possible to shrink it down to a more manageable level. I'm willing to bet Nintendo see that, too.

Now to revisit a prediction I have made every single year since E3 2007: Star Fox, and its long-overdue return. Do I even have to say it anymore? The Wii remote is perfect for the job, and it's an absolute mystery why this game hasn't surfaced yet. To be perfectly honest, I don't see this prediction as likely or unlikely. I just see it as far, far overdue. I can't just leave this here without a likelihood rating on it, though... Well, as much as it pains me to say it, I'm going to file this in the "unlikely" column. As much as I hope it'll come true, there's just been no evidence whatsoever of its existence. Sorry, Fox, but it's looking like you'll be warming the bench for another year.

There will probably also be talk of sales, reaching new demographics, slideshows of actors pretending to be families and overdoing the motion controls, graphs, charts... You know, the typical Nintendo conference stuff. Okay, I get it, you're successful. Can we see games now?

And finally, there's always that announcement that comes out of nowhere and defies all predictors such as myself. Can I predict such a vague thing, or is that cheating? Bah, I'll do it anyways. Feel free to consider it a null point on my score sheet when it happens.

That's all, folks! The predictions are made, and the wait is on. Not that I expect anyone to read this before E3... in which case I could totally just edit out all the false stuff and write in a bunch of facts as "predictions"... Nah, I wouldn't. Or would I? Nah. Good night, and have fun watching the conference!

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I believe that there's what they call a "false start"

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 19 May 2010 03:34:00 +0000

Well, that plan kind of failed... Entirely. I think this deserves some explanation...

I'll be moving in two months (Pretty much exactly two months, actually) and I'm pretty stressed out about it. I've never moved before, and I don't really know what to expect during this whole deal.

So then, to make a short story shorter, I'm stressed out and it's affecting my ability to think for extended periods of time. What does that mean for the blog? That's hard to say. For most bloggers this would mean a temporary drop in update frequency, but that's not exactly possible in my situation (Unless I want to start deleting posts, but that's just insane).

So... I really don't know. There very well could be less than a handful of posts between now and August (Yeah, I know, huge change from the norm, huh?). Even if that's the case, though, August will bring many good things. I'll finally be getting my 360 online after the move, meaning I'll be able to fully experience all my new games and actually get to review them. Good things will come of this, I assure you!

In the more immediate future, I hope to make some time for a few smaller articles in the next week or so. Just keep on gaming until then, folks!

Xbox 360: A month of ownership, a month of opinions

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 16:13:00 +0000

Weekly updates ahoy! Also, in case you missed it, here's my thought process for deciding upon the Xbox 360 as my next console... Although I suppose my suspenseful writing means nothing now that you know how it turns out. Oh well.

Also, an important thing to note is that my 360 is not online, and it will remain offline for a while for a few reasons. I may update this post once I do finally connect it to the internet.

Back at the beginning of March I grabbed myself a 360 Holiday bundle, and since then I've put many gameplay hours into my new console. After a month of playing it nearly every day, I'd say I've garnered enough hands-on time with the system to deliver my view on it. Keep in mind, though, that this isn't a console review; This is more like a loosely-arranged collection of opinions. No fluff, no suspense, no bull. Just my raw opinions of Microsoft's current console, the Xbox 360.

First off, the console itself looks great. The sleek, jet-black case with the chrome disc tray is certainly easy on the eyes. Not so easy on the ears, however. The 360's internal fans are the loudest I've ever heard in any console or computer, sometimes even drowning out the quieter sound effects and voice acting of a game. Whatever that person just yelled in Dirt 2 probably wasn't all that important, but I'd still like to have heard it!

When it comes to controlling the games that I can hardly hear, the 360 controller does a pretty good job. It's well-shaped and comfortable to hold, and the buttons are all easily accessed. It took me a while to adjust to the X button being where I'm used to finding the Y button, but that's probably just because I've been playing too many DS games. One actually valid issue I have with the controller concerns the battery pack. No, it has nothing to do with battery life (Batteries actually last incredibly long in this controller, easily passing the twenty hour mark per set), but the location of the battery compartment itself. Its placement throws the center of gravity off entirely, causing the controller to tip forward in all but the tightest of grips. I've pretty much gotten used to this, but once in a while it does become a problem.

In the middle of the controller lies the Guide button, which grants access to the 360's simple-to-use yet greatly versatile menu. This menu can be accessed at any time, even in the middle of gameplay, without interrupting a thing (Some games even pause automatically when it's accessed). The Guide permits access to just about anything someone could ever need while in game, from reading messages sent by friends to checking out achievements for the game currently being played. It's quite the feature, and it sure comes in handy when I get an achievement I was entirely unaware of (Killing a bunch of barnacles with an exploding barrel is an achievement now? Heck, I'm not complaining!).

The menu seen when launching the 360 is equally accessible and eye-pleasing, as well as partially customizable, granting the ability to change the background image. Sadly, that's just about as far as customization goes, with no possibility of altering the colours of the menu options. That post-apocalyptic Fallout 3 background image would look great without these bright, cheery buttons floating around in the foreground!

Cheerily greeting me every time I start up my 360 is... Me. Well, my Avatar, at least. Most certainly inspired by the Miis of the Wii, the 360 Avatars are cartoony little characters tied to a user's profile. Due to this, users are restricted to one Avatar per account, eliminating the possibility of populating games with them as is possible with Miis. Also different from Miis is the art style, which, while not being super-realistic, does make the Avatars look a bit more structured and mature. The range of customization is also greater, resulting in my Avatar looking far more like me than my Mii. It's not perfect, though, as I've seen one or two Miis that look more like their real-life counterpart than the same person's Avatar. They also don't have quite the same charm as Miis, looking a little less friendly than Nintendo's take on the concept. In the end, though, I'd say Avatars are pretty cool, but they've yet to grow on me like Miis have.

Now then, with all that being said, it's time to move on to the most important part of a video game console: The games. I currently have eight games for my 360 (Thirteen if you count compilations separately), spanning multiple genres and several developers, so I'd certainly say I've put the 360 through its paces as far as gameplay variety goes. The controller is well suited to just about any genre, and the hardware is certainly capable of delivering a stunning experience both technically and visually. There's no end to the variety and quality of software for this console.

My gameplay experiences haven't been without their issues, however. Occasionally a game will stutter momentarily then return to normal for no apparent reason. I've also had it freeze entirely on one occasion when loading a new level in Half-Life 2, forcing a manual shutdown of the console. Finally, I've also experienced the audio cutting out for a second or two several times over the last month, but that's apparently due to outdated firmware, something I'll fix when I manage to get my 360 online.

Weighing the good against the bad, I'd say I've had a fairly positive experience with my 360 so far. There have been some problems, and I'm sure I'm missing out on a whole lot without having it online, but I'd still say it was well worth the purchase. I've barely even begun to scratch the surface here, so I'm sure things will only get better from this point onward. If only I didn't have to share the big TV with everyone else in the house...

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April Fools' Day wrap-up, site news

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 04:01:00 +0000

Ah, isn't April 1st a wonderful day? Nothing like some organized insanity to brighten up one's life. Yes, folks, everything published here yesterday was a complete lie. This isn't becoming a news site, all Nintendo-related hoaxes aren't true (Or are they?), Miyamoto wasn't caught getting Shiggy with it, Sony didn't announce the PSP 3D (But it's only a matter of time), and Microsoft did not, in fact, buy the moon. I figure this should all go without saying, but after hearing some people believed last year's fictitious PETA vs Nintendo lawsuit, I just wanted to make sure everyone gets the straight story.

Now then, moving on to the matter of this blog's nearly bi-monthly update schedule... That's something that actually will be changing. Starting now, there will be at least one post published to One Duck's Opinion every single week. I hope eventually to nail updates down to every Wednesday, but for now, once a week is how the schedule's going to be.

I suppose that's all that really needs to be said here... Oh, with the exception of one thing. Just in case you believe anything I said yesterday... APRIL FOOLS'!

This is Psycho J. Duck for ODDLY News. Goodnight everyone!

Microsoft buys the moon, plans radical redesign

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:00:00 +0000

In the most massive purchase of all time, Microsoft today gained the rights of ownership to Earth's moon. Their plans for the natural satellite? The universe's biggest billboard. "What better place to advertise than in a place people see every single day of their lives?" asks Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "In addition, we'll make it into the record books for sure, making absolutely positive that nobody on Earth won't know the words 'Xbox 360'!"

"We've been thinking about this for a while, and the time has finally come for us to start work on this tremendous undertaking. We're sending ten thousand of the finest imported workers into space, along with eight trillion green LED lights. The next Lunar Eclipse is going to be great!"

"Of course, this isn't the sort of thing you'd think up and execute in a hurry. Many designs were considered for the billboard, and we were surprised at the negative reception one of our prototype designs received." This rejected design can be found below.

In addition to the above, Microsoft will also be altering much of the technical lunar terminology. A partial list of the changes can be found below, with original terms on the left, and new ones on the right. Explanations are provided in brackets:

Apogee = Bungie (Rights to the name "Apogee" could not be acquired from 3D Realms)
Blue Moon = Green Moon ("There's nothing blue about this moon!" -Ballmer)
Crater = Blood Gulch (In honour of the map in Halo: Combat Evolved)
New Moon = X Moon (As it's the time at which the logo will be most visible)

"The moon isn't the only thing being changed here. We at Microsoft will change the world!"

Not to be outdone, Apple is now working on purchasing the Sun, which they plan to name "iSol". Some casualties are to be expected when it comes to stamping the logo on the yellow star's surface. "Hey, you can't make an iSol without melting a few interns!" commented Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

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Sony Officially Unveils the PSP 3D

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 21:00:00 +0000

Today Sony pulled back the curtains on their newest creation, the PSP 3D. I was lucky enough to grab an interview with a spokesperson for the company, Soniraji Osuteshon, where I was allowed to ask any question I wanted about this revolutionary new product.

ODDLY News: Before we get into the real interview, I'd first like to know a little more about how the PSP 3D actually works.

Soniraji Osuteshon: The PSP 3D utilizes solar radiation to power its light-speed quantum energy core, which superheats the air within three inches of the screen's surface, causing spatial distortion and creating the illusion of 3D imagery. It also doubles as a portable barbecue.

ODDLY: I'm just going to pretend I understood that and move along. From the few words I actually understood, I've come to the conclusion that this sounds incredibly dangerous to handle. What sort of testing has been done to ensure the safety of the player?

SO: We haven't really had a change to test the PSP 3D just yet, as we only finished up the design last night.

ODDLY: Last night?!

SO: Yes. As you've no doubt noticed, there isn't really much of an R&D department at Sony. It's pretty much just a bunch of people sitting at computers, constantly refreshing Nintendo news sites waiting for something new and interesting to be announced. Whenever Nintendo announces a new product, we jump right into the development stage, building off of whatever was just revealed. The only difference is, this time around, we're beating Nintendo to the punch, as the PSP 3D is slated for release in approximately... Ten minutes.

ODDLY: So soon? And without testing it for consumer safety?

SO: Consumer safety? What does that matter? We've finally managed to beat Nintendo to the finish line, and we're not looking back. The PSP 3D will be released today at 5:00 PM sharp, for the completely reasonable price of $14,000.

ODDLY: F-f-f-fourteen thousand dollars?!

SO: Yes. We at Sony offer luxury versions of the competition's products, and you truly get what you pay for when you invest in our technologies. Whether or not the consumer can actually afford it is none of our concern.

ODDLY: Well, for that price, the PSP 3D had better do a lot more than make things pop out of the screen!

SO: Oh, but it does! The PSP 3D will be twenty times as powerful as the PS3, with graphics becoming even more detailed than reality itself. In order to accommodate all these texture files and high-end models, the PSP 3D will ship with a separate 50TB hard drive and a complementary backpack in which to carry the massive storage device. This unit will allow the storage of up to five PSP 3D games at once. The PSP 3D will also come with seven car batteries, which can be carried around in a shopping cart, also included in the package with the hard drive and backpack. These batteries will allow for up to twelve minutes of gameplay/barbecuing.

ODDLY: But I thought the PSP 3D was powered by solar radiation... Or something?

SO: No, that merely handles the 3D capabilities of the product. This is some high-tech stuff here. No mere pushover like the Sun is capable of powering this kind of horsepower!

ODDLY: Well then, uh... Getting back to the planet Earth for a moment, I've noticed the PSP 3D is nearly identical to the original PSP and its minor hardware revisions. Is there a particular reason for this?

SO: The PSP 3D is visually identical to the PSP for two major reasons. First, it's because we got lazy and just gutted a lot of old PSP units we had sitting around, and second, it creates confusion among the consumers. They might go out in search of a PSP 3D, and see a regular PSP on the shelf, buying it thinking they're getting the newest handheld.

ODDLY: You want to confuse the customers?

SO: Of course! We put out the visually-identical PSP 3D, and the consumer goes out buying a PSP thinking it's the same thing!

ODDLY: You're really banking on the consumer being so foolish?

SO: Yup! Look how well it worked out for the PSP Go!

ODDLY: But the Go sold terri-

SO: LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA

ODDLY: I take it our interview is over?

SO: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

ODDLY: ...I'm just going to leave now.

SO: BUY ONE! BUY FIVE!

The PSP 3D is now on sale at all major electronics retailers for $14,000. Games that actually take advantage of the PSP 3D's abilities have yet to be announced, but are expected to cost between $100 and $500 apiece.

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Believe everything you read: All Nintendo-related April Fools' Day hoaxes are real

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 19:00:00 +0000

From the fake Zelda movie trailer of 2008 to the "WiiDS" of this year's Game Infarcer, every Nintendo-related April Fools' "hoax" was actually a calculated market-testing exercise executed by the Big N itself. "It's cheap, risk-free market testing. It's brilliant!" said Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime. "It's the most ingenious move by the company since the very creation of the Nintendo Entertainment System!".

"Yes, every single one of these 'hoaxes' is entirely true," admitted Nintendo president Satoru Iwata. "We use this day to gauge public opinion of our in-development products, and we adjust or cancel these projects according to reception."

Every year, Nintendo sends out these in-production ideas to news outlets around the world, then monitors the comment section over the next 24 hours and takes notes on the public's reactions. At the end of the day, the news is "revealed" to be nothing more than a joke, and Nintendo returns to work on the project with the commenters' criticism's taken into consideration.

"Once all suggestions are implemented, the project often takes a turn in an entirely different direction," elaborates Iwata. "For example, the Zelda movie trailer we released with IGN turned into the mere addition of a few extra cinematics in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. We realized that no film we made could possibly live up to the expectations of the people in that comment section, so we turned our film-making attention to our upcoming DS game."

"In fact, most of our ideas are often met with less-than-perfect reception, meaning no 'controlled hoax' so far has ever been released looking even slightly similar to its beta form, if it ever even saw release at all. The Super Smash Bros. Brawl X: Extreme prototype we also demoed with IGN was canceled entirely after an incredible backlash over peoples' childhood idols being brutally massacred. The 'Wii Expand' idea detailed in the same article was also canned, as it just seemed too much like what the players wanted."

But what of the 3DS, announced mere days before Nintendo's annual testing of the public's opinion? "This was just too costly a project to alter in any way," says Iwata "We can't change anything about the 3DS as, sadly, we've exhausted the project's entire budget. All we can do now is release the 3DS as it is and hope the public embraces it. In addition, if we take it back into development now, Sony will undoubtedly get the jump on us and release their own 'me too' handheld in no time. We can't let them win!"

"This is an important yearly exercise for the company, and we'll continue to execute it for many years to come," says Fils-Aime. Now that the secret's out in the open, though, the test results will be contaminated, will they not? "There's no need to worry about [that]. Now that this practice has been made public, we'll be sending several actual hoaxes out with every fake hoax, and we'll refrain from telling the recipient which is which. All will be published as April Fools' articles, the readers won't know what's what, and things will be back to normal. We're Nintendo. We think things through."

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A change of direction for One Duck's Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:00:00 +0000

Starting today, instead of my few-and-far-between opinion articles, I will be writing news stories, with exclusive news coming straight from industry insiders. Let's face it, people; Even if I did manage so somehow get off my ass and write more than once a millennium, this blog would never manage to go anywhere. Exclusive news and stories are where it's at, people! I need the hits and I need the money. Writing isn't about the readers, it's about the profit! Why I've bothered to stick around writing opinionated crap for nearly three years is a mystery to me. Being honest and heartfelt in my writing is getting me nowhere, people! Nowhere!

Under this new self-leadership, One Duck's Opinion (Soon to be renamed One Duck's Daily Literature Yielding, or ODDLY News) will surely rise to the top of the gaming news circuit, with updates appearing every hour, on the hour, from 2PM to 6PM, starting with this very post!

Cutting-edge journalism, folks, that's what takes you to the top! That's exactly what you're going to be seeing here, with my many industry contacts in every gaming company on Earth constantly supplying me with the newest, most exclusive news in the world! And you'll find all of it, right here, at ODDLY News, every day until we all die in a fiery apocalypse!

Keep in mind that this new direction will mean some changes. In addition to the earlier proclamation of decreasing how much I care about the readers, I will also stop caring about myself, for the greater good of my profits. I will be living in my bedroom 24/7, like any god of the internet, living off of Hot Pockets and warm soda, constantly refreshing my inbox for the latest in breaking gaming news!

A healthy diet, exercise, basic human contact... All of it, I'm throwing it all away, in the pursuit of internet riches! It's all anyone really needs in this world!

So then, you may be thinking "That hardly sounds like a life worth living", and you know, you'd be WRONG. COMPLETELY WRONG. It's all about the MONEY, people. Hasn't rap music taught you ANYTHING? JEEZ!

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Xbox 360 or Playstation 3: Decisions, decisions...

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:57:00 +0000

A while back I declared myself a Wii and PC gamer. I chose the Wii because of its quirky games, affordability and long-standing franchises, while I chose the PC because of its incomparably-huge library and dedicated Valve support. Together I felt that they covered all the bases. About a year after I wrote that article, though, I started to feel I was still missing out. My computer was nowhere near capable of running all the games I wanted and the Wii was still getting shafted by most major third-party developers. With upgrading my PC being too expensive and complicated, I decided that it was time I look into getting a second console. At first I thought that the obvious choice would be the Xbox 360, but as time went on, the Playstation 3 began to appear a more attractive option. This choice wasn't going to be an easy one.

The Xbox 360 was released in 2005, a year before either the Playstation 3 or the then-named Revolution would be seeing the light of day. It's essentially a year ahead of any other console on the market, and this head start certainly seems to have paid off. Being first out of the gate has given the 360 quite the solid selection of software, much of it fitting my admittedly-picky taste. It takes care of my racing addiction with the Forza series, caters to my adventurous side with games like Mass Effect, and fulfills my need for crazy-as-hell fun with Dead Rising. There's a lot more to choose from than the above three games, of course, but these are definitely the titles I'm most eager to get my hands on. I'd say the only real problem with the 360's game library is the apparent lack of adventure or action games. There really doesn't seem to be much of either genre on the console, if any at all. I'll admit I haven't exactly conducted extensive research on the matter, but such games are far less visible than the dozens of shooters clogging the shelves. The large selection of PC ports my computer is too weak to run properly is certainly a plus, though.

The online aspect of gaming is quickly becoming one of the biggest parts of the industry, and I honestly can't disagree with its popularity. Being able to play with 8, 16, 32 or more people from all over the world all at the same time is really quite the amazing feat of technology, and, more importantly, it's insanely fun. Sure, nothing will ever match the thrills of cramming on a couch with all your best friends and going nuts in you game of choice, but it's impossible to deny the importance and fun of playing online. Some say that the 360 has the best online system there is, and what I've seen and read certainly point to them being right. However, unlike any other video game system on the market, this online service isn't free. It's $60 a year to play on Xbox Live, which is somewhat of a kick in the nuts after having played online via Steam for free these last few years. Apparently it's worth the cash, but I'm still not crazy about the idea of paying for what other consoles provide for free.

There are a lot of problems regarding finances on the 360, actually. First off is the matter of the wireless network adapter. While the PS3 and Wii support connections with wireless routers out of the box, the 360 requires a pricey add-on. This is a real problem in my house, where the distance between my main TV and the modem basically necessitates the use of wireless connections for video game consoles. This leaves me with an uncomfortable choice; Either I pay however much they want for a wireless adapter and play this hypothetical 360 on my HDTV downstairs, or I hook it up to a wired connection upstairs and have the "honour" of playing Forza 3 on a TV older than the Nintendo Entertainment System. It appears you win this hypothetical round, Microsoft.

Yet another issue regarding things that should be included in the box is the matter of rechargeable battery packs. For whatever reason, Microsoft decided to skip on including a tiny little battery pack in every controller, instead making the consumer pay $30 apiece for a minuscule plastic cuboid. Of course, just like getting rechargeable battery packs for the Wii remotes, this sort of thing pays for itself in the end, but it's still a real pain at the start. Apparently these battery packs get about 40 hours to the charge, though, so perhaps the convenience is worth the investment. Then again, I could put that $30 towards something more useful, like, say, another controller. A wired one that doesn't require batteries of any kind. Take that, battery manufacturers!! Oh, wait... Crap, I yanked the hypothetical 360 off the hypothetical cabinet while rudely gesturing towards my house's battery drawer. Fine, Microsoft, have it your way...

"That'll be thirty bucks, sir."

One final financial woe regards purchasing things on Xbox Live through the use of a currency called "Microsoft Points". Hoo boy, doesn't that roll off the tongue nicely? "X-Points" not good enough for you or something? Anyways, the problem here isn't the fact that there's a points system. In fact, I like the idea, and have gladly purchased Nintendo Points cards for my Wii and DSi many times. The problem is the fact that the currency itself makes no sense at all. Somehow $20 = 1400 points. Uh... Pardon? It can't possibly have been too difficult to just make $20 equal, well, 2000. When I buy a game on the Wii Shop Channel I can say "That was a good use of $8." On the Xbox store, though... I'm going to have to do math, and by the time I figure it out the satisfaction of my purchase would likely be worn off, replaced by confusion and frustration. I like to be able to figure out how much I spent on a game in dollars. You know what dollars are, Microsoft? Those things that are the currency of the country that buys most of your products? You know, the place where you yourself are located? This isn't a major issue, but it's certainly one of those little things that really gets to me.

The 360 can hardly be considered "cheap" in the long run, but you really seem to get what you pay for. All these accessories and services must be paid for separately, yes, but it's well worth the expense according to many a 360 owner. On another note, while it may cost more than the Playstation 3 once all added costs are factored in, it still totals at less than getting a gaming PC in the ways of both expense and complication. With a 360 I wouldn't have to worry about playing a game that looks nothing like the screenshots on the box. It really bugs me when I buy a game for my computer, bring it home, and find that my computer comes nowhere near to running it as beautifully as depicted in the footage or screenshots I've seen online. Graphics are far from everything, but darn it, if I pay for a game, I want it to look as advertised! Luckily many of these PC games are either simultaneously or later ported to the 360, allowing owners of the latter console to see games the way they were meant to be seen. Finally I'd be able to play these games without every character being made of roughly five polygons! As an added bonus, I also wouldn't have to stand around in game stores and squint at the required minimum specifications to try to figure out whether or not the game would run at all, let alone beautifully. It sure would take a lot of the uncertainty out of buying games.

The 360 is a strange combination of pros and cons, perhaps even being pulled in both directions more than any other console. In my opinion, though, it's being pulled more in the positive direction. While the long-term expense may be great, you really do get what you pay for. The console also has a whole bunch of great games going for it, and that's really what's most important in a situation like this. It's certainly a strong contender in the console wars, and at first it seemed like the obvious choice for me when I began looking for another console, but then another system came along. A system called the Playstation 3.

At first I never would have thought I'd ever consider buying a Playstation 3. When it launched in 2006 the console was expensive, under-supported, and far too akin in appearance to a certain line of counter-top grills. Since then, though, the console has become just as affordable as the 360, support has greatly increased, and it's even received a much-needed makeover. Suddenly it's become a far more attractive a console than ever before!

First off and, of course, most importantly, the Playstation 3's library is really beginning to appeal to me. The Uncharted series is getting insanely good reviews, and games like LittleBigPlanet and the upcoming ModNation Racers are driving my creative side nuts. Again, like on the 360, there's about a billion more shooters than necessary on the console, but I suppose they're easy enough to avoid. After all, I manage to avoid all the party games on the Wii! If there's any sort of severe shortcoming to the PS3's library, though, it's that while all bases seem to be covered, there's not all that much substance to any category (Besides shooters, of course). They do have Naughty Dog, though, which carries the delicious potential for another Jak game. Do that and I'll forgive the shortcomings!

Yes, please.

Unlike on the Xbox 360, playing any of these fine games online won't cost me a dime on the Playstation 3. However, referring back to the "you get what you pay for" theme running through the 360 section of this article, Xbox Live is apparently better than the Playstation Network, even when factoring in the expense. I've heard of Playstation games sometimes cutting out for no apparent reason, while no such reports have been heard from the Xbox side of the online gaming scene. It appears that the annual $60 paid for playing 360 games online helps ensure the stability of the central servers, and while it's apparently not an incredibly common issue on the Playstation Network, I'd gladly sacrifice one game purchase a year to make sure things continue to run smoothly.

Carrying on with the topic of finances, the Playstation 3 has its own version of the 360's Xbox Live Arcade store in the form of the Playstation Store. Unlike the competition, however, there's no strange arbitrary currency assigned to this online shopping centre, instead using good old dollars and cents. The downside, however, kills the service for me entirely: There's no such thing as redeemable cash cards for the Playstation Store. The only way to buy things via the service is with a credit card, something I do not have. In other words, the Playstation Store is completely useless to me. A real pity, too, as there seem to be some truly worthwhile things available on it*.

One final note on the matter of expense is that, unlike the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3 comes with wireless internet capabilities built-in, free of charge, and the controllers have internal, rechargeable batteries as a standard feature. As a result of this, though, the Playstation 3 controllers cost a little more than those for the 360, but not as much as a 360 controller plus a battery pack. This means that the Playstation 3 is actually more affordable than the 360. And to think, only three years ago everyone was still going on about "FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE US DOLLARS"!

Hey, Microsoft, apparently it's possible, both economically
and physically, to cram a battery pack in there. Take note!

There's one more subject about the Playstation 3 that deserves attention, and that's the matter of multiplatform games. While there are many games that release on both this console and on the 360, the Playstation 3 versions tend to suffer from a higher amount of technical problems. Frame rate issues, disappearing objects, slow connections to online lobbies and more tend to pop up more frequently in the Playstation 3 version of these games than on the 360. This is a big problem for me, as one of the main reasons I'm looking into a new console is the fact that they share so many great games unavailable on the Wii. Dragon Age: Origins, Batman: Arkham Asylum and Grand Theft Auto IV are all large factors in my decision to seek an additional video game console, and there's plenty more where that came from. The fear that the game I buy may be inferior to the one on the 360 makes me hesitant to invest in the Playstation 3. The lack of any sort of definitive list of these porting errors only increases my apprehension. For all I know these problems could just be getting blown way out of proportion. It's really hard to tell sometimes! As a side note, a few Playstation 3 games contain features absent in their 360 counterparts, such as the ability to play as the Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum, but I don't really think it's enough to counter the myriad of problems with other ported games.

The Playstation 3 has really surprised me with how much it's improved in the last year or two. It's finally beginning to grab my attention, doing so without me really noticing until my consciousness was firmly in its grasp. However, it, like the 360, is being pulled by many positive and negative forces, and again, like its competition, it emerges on the positive end of the spectrum. The Playstation 3 is a fine console, and few serious arguments can be made that indicate otherwise. What matters here, though, is if it's the right console for me. Looking at all the facts and weighing its many pros and cons, I come to the conclusion that...

...I want the Playstation 3. As a matter of fact, I want the Xbox 360, too! They're both really great in their own way, and I'm eager to get my hands on both. The decision now becomes which to pursue first, and after thinking about it for quite some time, I've decided to begin with the Xbox 360. Lately I've just been going nuts for a realistic racing game, and Forza 3 has really got me under its spell. The draw of playing the many PC games I've either been unwilling or unable to get for my computer is also beginning to get to me. Playstation 3 games like LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted are still really going to grab my eye and will continue to do so for quite some time, but they'll have to wait a while. As of now, the game selection on the 360 is most synced with my current interests, and it's for that reason I've decided to go with Microsoft's console first. It may wind up costing me a bit more at the start, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Maybe next year, Playstation 3... Maybe next year.

*EDIT: According to user NintenDood on the One Duck's Opinion forums, there is such a thing as a Playstation Network cash card. I've never seen these in any store I've ever been too, from Wal-Mart to EBGames. In fact, they only appear to be online... Meaning I'd still need a credit card. If they are in stores somewhere, they certainly aren't in any shop near me, pretty much bringing things back to where I started.

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Spam eggs spam spam bacon and spam

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:38:00 +0000

Well, I may not have been all that active here lately, but some random Japanese spammer sure has. I woke up yesterday morning to seventeen e-mails waiting for me, fifteen of which were alerting me to comments on my blog, all of them spam. I figured I'd just delete these and it would all be over with.

...then I woke up today to find seventeen more e-mails in my inbox, and once again, fifteen of them were spam. From the same guy. On all the same posts. Either it's a bot that managed to circumvent the word verification thirty times, or some weirdo in Japan has way too much time on his hands. Either way, I've decided I've had enough of this crap. I've locked all but one of the comment sections that were spammed (I left one open due to it still being somewhat active), so maybe that will take care of things. Then again, maybe it won't. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when the bot/weirdo strikes again, as it/he seems to attack every night.

Well then, with that out of the way, here's a bit of news. I've been working on an article for the past little while. It's gone through about five different major changes in structure and subject, and currently only looks to be about half as long as the pseudo-novel I originally had planned. It may be shorter, but it's certainly more focused and it actually makes sense this time around. Bonus!

I'm aiming to have this article posted later tonight. Apologies for the inactivity in January. It was quite the hectic month for me, with a death in the family, a stabbing in the neighbourhood, a car fire in the underground parking lot (Located directly below my apartment, no less), and, on the bright side, my birthday. I suppose that helped balance things out a bit.

Well then, I suppose I'll be getting to work on that article now. In the meantime, feel free to peruse the following rejected titles for this post:

"James Spameron's Avatar", "Spamming Private Ryan", "Spam Spam Everywhere and Not a Link to Click", "Spam It All To Hell", "Mama Always Said Life Was Like a Box of Spam", "Don't You Worry About Spam, Let Me Worry About Blank", "Spam! Unh! Good God!", "Spam In The Hall: Spam Comes To Town", "Another One Spams the Dust", "I Am Spamerica And So Can You", "The Bugs Bunny and Spammy Show", "Spam Me Once, Shame on You. Spam Me Thirty Times... Shame on You", "NBA Spam", "Harry Potter and the Spammer of Spamzkaban", "The 52nd Spammy Awards", "Spamming 101"

Oh, this appears to be the first post of the year. Uh... Happy 2010?

The 2009 Golden Duck Awards

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:31:00 +0000

Just in case you forgot (Or completely missed) last year's Golden Duck Awards, here's a link to refresh (Or supplement) your memory.

Welcome, one and all, to the 2009 Golden Duck Awards! We don't have any special guests or musical performances... We don't really have much, actually. What we do have, though, are 11 all-new awards given to 11 different games in 11 different (And completely irrelevant) categories. Why 11? Because I like to go one step beyond. Now then, for this year's 2009 Golden Duck Awards!

Best Reason to Load Up on Target-Brand Ibuprofen
"I know one thing... I'm grabbin' pills."

There are many reasons to reach for a bottle of ibuprofen. Headaches, joint pains, zombie claw marks, the list goes on. Well, that last one appears to be exclusive to the Target-branded variety of the drug, at least according to Left 4 Dead 2. Also listed under the added effects exclusive to this brand: Blood stain removal, bone mending and temporary improvement of vital signs, all in an attractive bullet-proof bottle with a zombie-safe cap. Now if only they could increase the concentration. It sure is inconvenient that it takes a whole bottle for any effect to occur. Must be excellent for sales, though.

I think I'll forgive the drug's fictional shortcomings, though. It's not exactly the most pressing issue in the world of Left 4 Dead 2, with hundreds of thousands of zombies pouring out of every door, hallway and sewer. Luckily players have a few good friends on their side, fighting back against the hordes with over a dozen different weapons, including chainsaws, shotguns, assault rifles, katanas, sniper rifles, and Molotov cocktails. With five ever-changing campaigns and some of the finest enemy AI ever crafted, Left 4 Dead 2 is one hell of a zombie-killing good time. Just remember to pack your Target-brand ibuprofen, folks. It's going to be a rough trip.

Best Game With a Robotic Turtle Speed Demon on the Box

"Herf Hoorf this isn't an actual award!"

There have been many great vehicles in the history of gaming. From go-karts to jalopies, hovercrafts to biplanes, there's no shortage of vehicles in which to tear up the track, dirt, skies or sea with. It was beginning to seem as if the possibilities had been all but exhausted... Until the debut of the greatest vehicle of them all, the robotic turtle speed demon, which shall henceforth be referred to as the Tortimer Mk. II. Featuring four wheels, a grappling arm, a sandwich bar and optional passenger-side tambourine, the Tortimer Mk. II has everything you could possibly want in a vehicle... Except perhaps for seating. That may be an issue. Good thing it appears to be remote-controlled, allowing drivers to experience the action from the comfort (And safety) of their living rooms.

We should be glad that Excitebots is merely a video game, for there is no pause button in real life. You see, unlike most racers, Excitebots must occasionally be paused for the purpose of laughing at how uproariously absurd it is. Blazing down the road at over a hundred miles an hour, users will spin up poles, catapult themselves into the air, and assemble sandwiches in ways man never thought possible. Taking the tried-and-true formula of Excite Truck and cranking every aspect to 11 turned Excitebots into what is undoubtedly one of the year's craziest, strangest, and all-out best racers. All thanks in no small part to the Tortimer Mk. II. Godspeed, you magnificent robotic turtle speed demon.

Most Entertaining Method of Punching the Pineapples Out of Someone

"Are you ready? 'Cause I'm gonna put on a show."

There seem to be as many "*Blank* the *Blank* out of someone" phrases as there are people. My personal favourite, however, would have to be "Beat the pineapples out of someone". It's very difficult to do in real life (Especially living so far from pineapple-growing conditions), making me very thankful for the man(?) known as King Hippo. With a seemingly never-ending supply of fresh tropical pineapples stored in his cranium, King Hippo is like a pineapple-lover's dream come true. Me? Oh, no, I don't like to eat pineapples. Just beating them out of people.

Pineapples are but one of the many different things that can be coaxed out of people's heads in Punch-Out!!. Croissants, feathers, fish, birds, roses and much more are all contained within the skulls of opponents in Punch-Out!!, and it takes but a single uppercut to enjoy them. It's getting to that uppercut that's the hard part. Less like a fighting game and more like a puzzler, Punch-Out!!'s fights center around fast reactions and a keen eye. Each opponent has his own strengths, weaknesses and hints. Strike at the wrong time and get showered in a barrage of counter-punches, but strike at the right time and you're rewarded with a cascade of pineapples. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is!

Best Game Based on Wildlife Loose in Downtown Toronto

"A wild doe has invaded downtown Toronto and is terrorizing people!"

It was a quiet, ordinary day in downtown Toronto, when suddenly, chaos struck! Chaos in the form of... A harmless doe. A deer. A female deer. It was perhaps the city's strangest news story of the year (Tied, perhaps, with the mayor's ineptitude at ending a garbage strike. It's a long story. A long, painful story.). So what is the internet to do? Make a Flash game based on it, of course!

DEERTASE is a classically-styled RPG encapsulating the thrilling life-or-death battle faced that day. A fight of man against deer, technology against nature, human against... not-human. With naught but the standard-issue Toronto police officer equipment available, you must somehow overcome the serious, city-threatening menace that is a doe. Can you possibly succeed? And if you do emerge victorious, another challenge awaits... DEERTASE is a thrilling new saga of Flash-based entertainment, just begging to be experienced by all. Are you a bad enough dude to save the city?

Best Glorification of a Boring Factory Job

"[BOX]Life is like a box of chocolates"

I've never worked in a factory, but I imagine it's not all that fun. A week of 9-to-5 shifts of the same exact thing over and over and over. One of the most mundane of these jobs would have to be manual box assembly. Just thinking about the endless hours of folding makes me drowsy. Now, if perhaps there were some sort of challenge involved. Say, an infinitely-long sheet of paper with a grid pattern printed on it, which could be cut, folded and turned into boxes like some sort of puzzle game. If only there were such a game...

...is something I highly doubt anyone ever thought in the history of mankind. That didn't stop the fine folks at Skip Ltd. from making that very game, though, and they called it BOXLIFE. With gameplay consisting of everything I said above and nothing more, BOXLIFE is not exactly a complex game. What it is, though, is incredibly fun, and inexplicably addictive. I don't know what it is, but somewhere in this insanely skimpy design is a golden nugget of infinite replayability. Come to think of it, I don't even care what it is. All I know is that this is the best 500 points I've spent on DSiWare so far.

Best Adventure Within the Bowels of a Gigantic Turtle

"I HAVE CHORTLES!"

One of the oldest standbys of cartoons is the classic "inside the body" episode. It always begins with some cheesy method of the characters shrinking down and entering the body of another character, where they have a whole bunch of wacky adventures or learn biology or some crap like that. Whatever the case, it's tired and overdone, with every cartoon from The Magic School Bus to Spongebob Squarepants having done it. Trust Nintendo to look at this tired old story and make the one game we've all secretly desired our entire lives: A game primarily staged within the body of Bowser himself. Truly it is the game to end all games.

Joking aside, Bowser's Inside Story really is a fantastic platformer/RPG hybrid, featuring the greatest parts of the two genres of which it is composed. Classic Nintendo platforming perfected over the last two decades years and the vast and exciting world of role-playing games come together to create the greatest Mario & Luigi series game so far. The writing, battles, storyline and animation are better than ever before, which, compared to the amazing quality of the franchise up to this point, is saying quite a lot. Not only that, but the main boss of the game is probably the best one out of all bosses I've fought this year, whether or not he is, indeed, "beefless".

Best (Hopefully) Fictional Portrayal of Life in 2077

"War. War never changes."

I like to think my later years will be ones of peace, sitting on some lakeside dock and watching the boats go by. I don't like to think of them taking place in times of war, with military jets flying by, troops patrolling the streets, and warships flooding the waters. Thankfully at least one possible timeline leading to this situation is an impossibility, with events causing it having never taken place. For those of us interested in such a timeline, though, there exists the Fallout series. This alteration of history sees 2077 being a time or great strife for the world, with one of the main conflicts centered upon China's invasion of Anchorage, Alaska. This (hopefully) fictional war serves as the premise for Fallout 3: Operation Anchorage.

Upon the discovery of a virtual reality device in the post-war ruins of Washington D.C. (Do keep in mind that this is merely a fictional situation), the group that made the discovery searches long and hard for a person equipped to tackle the brutal game-within-a-game. This person, of course, if the player. What kind of game would it be if it wasn't? The simulation is no mere virtual reality adventure, though, with death having real-world consequences. That's right, folks; "If you die in the game, YOU DIE FOR REAL!". This program is a recreation of the war at Anchorage, and only by fighting their way through this historically-significant battle can the player escape it. Operation: Anchorage is a nice twist on the usual Fallout 3 formula, and it certainly helps add more to the already huge overarching storyline of the franchise. Let's just hope this particular story remains in fiction.

Best Use of Fireworks

"DYNOMIIIIIITE"

Fireworks are always one of the best parts of any major celebration. The bright lights, the vibrant colours, and of course, the loud crack of the explosions. It's bright, pretty and ear-splittingly loud. There's something in it for everybody... Well, except for the shoot 'em up fans, that is. Fireworks are nice, but they lack the action and excitement of games like Xevious, Nanostray and Gradius. And while games like Xevious, Nanostray and Gradius are nice, they lack the Summertime thrills of fireworks. Fireworks are just begging to be put into a shoot 'em up. Begging I say!

Well, the Roman candles need beg no longer, thanks to a little game known as Big Bang Mini. It's the same basic shoot 'em up we've all been playing for years, but with an explosive twist. Forget about rockets and missiles and Photon torpedoes. Nah, the real firepower's in a firecracker. It's all the greatness of classic shoot 'em ups with the wonders of fireworks. Seriously, what more could you want?

Best Game Featuring a Rooster Hat in a Leading Role

"Buck buck bu-gawk!"

Hats are only recently getting the attention they so dearly deserve. Mario's been wearing a hat since day one, but nobody truly appreciates it. Valve noticed the lack of love for hats, and added them to Team Fortress 2 earlier this year. While it was a good step, there just wasn't a rooster hat. They were on the right track with the Pyro's Respectless Rubber Glove, but they stopped just short of paying respect to the hat that deserves it most. It wasn't until Scribblenauts debuted two months later that the rooster hat finally got its break-out role. Simple, elegant, presumably floppy. Clearly it is the hat of the gods!

Also of the gods is the core concept of Scribblenauts. The game's tagline is "Write Anything, Solve Everything", and it just about delivers on both accounts. Not everything can be written (What, no Dromiceiomimus? Well, crap, there goes my Dinosaur Comics reunion!), and some puzzles are so punishingly hard they may as well be impossible, but the game does, in general, pull off what it was advertised to do... If the crummy controls don't result in that marvelous rooster hat plummeting off a cliff. So sure, it's not a perfect game, but dammit, it finally gives the lord of all hats the exposure it deserves!

Best Head-On Collisions

"Vroom vroom, quack quack"

People love car crashes. It's some sort of morbid fascination built into the human mind that, whenever there's a car accident, we just have to go look at it. Just yesterday I saw a white car halfway through the front wall of a dental office while I was riding the bus, and everyone else turned to look. There's just something within a human that makes them need to see these things. What could be better than seeing a car wreck? How about playing a video game where one of the main objectives is to create them? That's exactly what some developers thought years ago, and lo, the Burnout franchise was born.

2008 brought us Burnout Paradise and a few expansions, with 2009 bringing all of those goodies wrapped up in one nice little package. The best package. The Ultimate Box, you could call it. It's all the car-wrecking goodness wrapped up in one convenient disc! With an extensive online mode, a huge virtual city to drive in and more cars than any dealership I've seen, there's no end to the various ways, places and vehicles in which you can get your crunch on. Pack your roll cages and fasten your seatbelts, folks. It's going to be bumpy ride.

Most Wanton Wontons

"Hello, City Wok, may I take your order please?"

Next time you order Chinese food from your local Chinese restaurant, look that delivery man a little closer in the eye. Look out for anything suspicious, because you never know. You local Wok On The Wild Side could very well be a front for the mafia. If that turns out to be the case, what will you do? You could call the police, notify the FBI or, if it comes to it... Order pizza instead. It's a last resort, but sometimes it just has to be done!

In Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, the situation above is a reality, but it's okay, because you're on the side with the guns and explosions! Far better than the cold chicken balls and lumpy fried rice, believe me. Chinatown Wars brings the winning Grand Theft Auto formula to the DS for the first time ever, meshing together the gigantic world of Grand Theft Auto IV with the birds-eye view perspective of the original game. It's truly amazing how much they managed to squeeze onto that little game card, and it's a huge shame that so few people got to enjoy it. Come on, people! There's a mission where you play as one of those big Chinese dragons you see in parades. If that's not worth the $20 sticker price, nothing is!

And so ends this year's 11 all-new Golden Duck Awards... But wait, there's more! Notice I said there were 11 new categories... I never said there couldn't be an oldie coming back for one more go! And so, without further delay...

Best Way to Beat the Crap Out of Your Friends Without Getting the Police Involved

"Let's-a go!"

Super Smash Bros. Brawl now hands the legal assault-granting torch to this year's Nintendo masterpiece, New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Four-player Mario platforming... Even someone completely unfamiliar with the game should know what kind of chaos such a concept can bring. Oh, the satisfaction of tossing your whiny sibling into a never ending pit. The joys of leaving that annoying family friend to die in the fires of Bowser's castle. And the best part is that it's perfectly legal! If this isn't the best Wii game of the year, nothing is!

...well, I suppose I can't say that just yet. I'll admit, I've only played the first couple worlds of this game, but what I did play was fantastic... And frantic. I still can't decide if it was a good idea for my initial exposure to this game to be in four-person multiplayer. Whatever the case, it was a complete blast, and I'm very much hoping to find it beneath the Christmas tree tomorrow. And if I don't... IF I DON'T GET THIS GAME FOR CHRISTMAS I'LL... I'LL... Eh, I guess I'll play something else.

So ends this year's Golden Duck Awards... For real this time. Another 12 useless, meaningless, overly-specific trophies have been handed out to another 12 more-than-worthy games. That makes 20 total Golden Duck Award recipients. Quite the exclusive group, don't you think? Not a very prestigious group, but certainly exclusive. Do you have any random, pointless awards to bestow upon 2009's finest games? Feel free to have your own merry little awards ceremony in the comment section, or in this forum thread.

A bit of news UPDATE

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:31:00 +0000

The Golden Duck Awards may be a little late this year due to unforeseen delays arising from holiday preparations and the like. The article is currently a little more than half-written, and due to go up tomorrow night. Usually this wouldn't be a problem, but I am going to be very busy tomorrow, and I'm unsure if I'll be able to finish them on time. I will, of course, do my best to do so, but I cannot promise anything.

I'd also like to apologize for the lack of updates so far this month. As I said (And you are no doubt aware of), the holidays are approaching, as well as all the associated work and anticipation associated with them. On the bright side, in addition to this year's Golden Duck Awards, another article is on the way, and should be out by the end of the year.

That being said, it's time for me to get some sleep. I must be off in the morning, and I'd like to be rested for tomorrow's trip. Heck, I'll probably end up sleeping on the subway anyways. Anyways, goodnight, folks. I hope to see y'all later tomorrow.

*UPDATE*: I'm so sorry, but I am just too tired out from the trip to finish the Golden Duck Awards tonight. I'll probably have an hour or so of free time available tomorrow, and I'll do my best to finish things up within that time. Again, I apologize, but continuing to write while barely being able to keep my eyes open just wouldn't make for a very good article, would it? It's generally a better idea to be conscious while writing, I find.

By This Time Next Year: Volume 3

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:47:00 +0000

This is but the first of two annual traditions taking place this month. Tune in on the 23rd for the second annual Golden Duck Awards!

Beginning in November 2007 and continued in December 2008, "By This Time Next Year" (Now properly capitalized!) comes back for its third iteration, with past predictions reviewed and a whole new set crafted for the upcoming year. First up, as usual, revisiting those predictions made on December 3rd, 2009!

"...at least one more console will be added to the North American Virtual Console" = Correct!

Released the same day it was announced, Virtual Console Arcade was added during the 2009 Game Developer's Conference this March, bringing classic arcade games to the living room, bedroom, or wherever the heck you stuck that console!

...Star Fox Wii will have been announced for an early 2010 release (I'm not giving up on this!) = WRONG

I've been posting this one for two years now, and it still hasn't happened. Eh, I give up... Which, of course, means it will now happen.

...the true successor to the DS line of handhelds will have been announced = WRONG

You know, I'm honestly not sure what I was thinking here. It was preposterous to imagine Nintendo doing such a thing. The system's still flying off the shelf like mad, and it would be stupid to stem sales by pushing out a successor. They did release the DSi XL, though, which makes my prediction slightly less inaccurate... Slighty.

...Nintendo still won't have released a true solution to the Wii storage problem = WRONG

This one requires a little backstory for anyone either new to the site or prioritized enough to not bother remembering the ramblings of a random internet weirdo. At the time the previous edition of "By This Time Next Year" was written, Nintendo had announced a solution to the Wii's greatly-limited storage space, but the wording was so cryptic that it sounded as if it solved no problems at all. In reality, though, it appears to have been lost in translation, as the solution did indeed arrive in March 2009 (Same day as Virtual Console Arcade), and it sure did deliver. In short: I misinterpreted a cryptic Japanese press release and made an ass of myself. Next!

...Wii sales will surpass 60 million worldwide = WRONG

Oh, but I was so close! The Wii didn't quite reach that landmark, stopping just short of the predicted number with... Oh, this is painful... 58.37 million, according to VGChartz.com (Which I find to be quite accurate, thank you very much). Now this is just crazy. Well... I was close!

...the combined sales of the Nintendo DS, DS Lite and DSi will overtake the Playstation 2's record sales of 140 million+ = WRONG

...here, however, I was slightly less accurate. The DS, DS Lite, DSi and DSi XL (Man there's a lot of them!) came up 23.53 million short at 116.47 million. My predictions aren't faring so well this year, are they?

...Mother 3 will still be landlocked in Japan, without any sort of announcements made for a release outside of its homeland = Correct!

Okay, I admit, this was a bit of a "Well, duh!" prediction, following in the painfully-obvious footsteps of 2007's prediction of "Duke Nukem Forever will remain unreleased." Sadly, Professor Obvious couldn't be here today to cover this prediction, as he's having a stick of chalk removed from... Uh, on second thought, you don't want to know.

...at least two more Pokémon games will have been released (Main series and/or spin-offs) = Correct!

In fact, four have been released since then (Seven if you count the slightly different versions some games were released in)! Pokémon HeartGold/SoulSilver, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (WiiWare), and Pokémon Rumble have all seen release since this prediction was made. Oh, that Nintendo and its Pokémon!

-----

And this year's overall prediction accuracy is... Five wrong, three correct. Heck, that's almost the exact opposite of last year's results! Well, perhaps these new predictions will fare better:

...Pikmin 3 will have been formally announced
...Half-Life 2: Episode 3 will have gone another year without any sort of official announcement
...a long-standing, long-since-forgotten Nintendo franchise will make its triumphant return
...Project Natal will have been delayed until 2011
...people will still be erroneously calling the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 "next-generation"
...Mario Party 9 will have been released
...Zelda Wii will have been confirmed for a Summer 2011 release
...yet another same-as-before Call of Duty game will have been released, and people will still be yet to tire of it
...a brand-new Nintendo IP will have been announced
...SEGA will once again bring shame to the Sonic brand

And thus ends the list of predictions for the year of 2010. Hmm... Ten predictions, tenth year of the century... COINCIDENCE?!

...okay, yeah, it's a coincidence. Neat, though. Well then, what do you think of my predictions? Good? Bad? HORRENDOUS? Let your opinion be heard (And maybe even make a few predictions of your own) in the comment section, or in this forum thread.

A look at in-game advertising

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:14:00 +0000

It used to be that an ad on television would be seen by nearly everyone in a household, but with the emerging popularity of video games, less people are seeing these commercials. Advertisers need to reach their target audience in new ways, and one of these ways is via in-game advertising. By cleverly inserting products and logos into the in-game world, companies can reach a whole new demographic, perhaps even subconsciously. Of course, that is if it's done properly...

As with product placement in television and movies, if done well, I actually like it. It adds more authenticity to the world. I'd rather see a can of Coca-Cola on-screen than a can of "Crazy Cola". There's also brand-name parody (Nuka Cola in the Fallout series, for example), but that's a different story. The point is, if done properly, product placement can increase the believability of a fictional world. If done improperly, though, it just gets annoying.

Two games in my collection stand out most when I think of in-game advertising: Need for Speed: Most Wanted and Far Cry 2. I love both of these games, but I can't deny that the product placement within is a little ridiculous. To start we'll take a look at Most Wanted, which is, in my opinion, the best game so far in the Need for Speed Series.

Infamous among players of Need for Speed: Underground 2 was the Burger King. There was only one, but you were forced to drive by it repeatedly. Just about every race in that part of the city had a stretch of track driving by it, force-fed advertising made even worse if the race had multiple laps. I was relieved to read in an EGM that we could expect "way fewer Burger Kings" in Most Wanted, and I couldn't wait to go out and-

...uh, as I was saying, I cou-

...

...well, they said we could "expect" fewer Burger Kings... We can also expect to win the lottery. Now, to the game's credit, it's not as if Burger King is dominating the city. There are other products and services advertised in-game (Axe body spray, AutoZone, Cingular, and a few other brands), keeping things somewhat in balance. Burger King does seem to be a little more visible than the other brands, but perhaps I just notice it more due to past experience with Underground 2.

In the end, I suppose it isn't too unrealistic. Companies advertise, stores are built, and products are visible, all in places where they should be. Nothing is pushed in your face, and it feels fairly organic. Of course, there's more brand variety in real life, but Electronic Arts couldn't very well get rights to every product on Earth. I'd say Most Wanted is a moderately-good example of how product placement should be implemented in a game. A bit more subtlety and it'd be perfect.

Next up is Far Cry 2, and this time around the brand in question is Jeep. Randomly spawned along with many other generic-looking trucks and cars are two Jeep vehicles: The Liberty and the Wrangler.

I first saw the Wrangler about two or three hours into the game, and I thought it was pretty neat. Eventually, as a bit of a personal joke, I took to driving the Wrangler exclusively, only driving a different model of car between one Wrangler breaking down and finding another (Yeah, I'm a little weird). It's inclusion made sense to me. It's a rugged vehicle, well-suited to the rough terrain of the nameless African country in which the game takes place. Its abundance was a little questionable, considering the country is also ear-deep in a civil war with little or no planes (And thus, car shipments) landing on local soil. Maybe there's a factory hidden somewhere, and I haven't just found it yet. Probably tucked behind a zebra or something.

As for the Jeep Liberty, it's somewhat more scarce... In the first act of the game. Get into that second act and the associated new world map, though, and the place is freaking CRAWLING with them. One town has a Liberty on practically every corner, and every last one is in near-mint condition. The Liberty is also a more expensive and fancy vehicle than the Wrangler, and I doubt the warring factions care much about how plush the seats are when there's bullets and rocket-propelled grenades whizzing by. It doesn't really seem to fit.

Hey man, did you know this Jeep has a 3.8L V6 engine? Yeah, me either.

Remember towards the beginning of the article when I said that, if done properly, product placement could contribute to the realism of the fictional universe? This isn't an example of this. The Jeeps barely make any sense at all in this setting, and makes a big rift in the believability for me. What are the odds that mint-condition, current-model Jeeps would be so prevalent in a war-torn African country with naught but the most flimsy connections to the outside world? It just doesn't fit at all.

It's kind of funny, really. Ubisoft Montreal worked so hard to craft an incredibly realistic world. They succeeded in many ways, with realistic fire-spreading technology, destructible plant life, weapon degradation and truly impressive graphics. Then along came a sponsor... Yes, I understand, bills need to be paid, and sponsorship can help ease production costs, I just find it funny that they put all this effort into realism, then dump a cargo ship full of brand-new Jeeps into a poor, war-ravaged African country of no title. It also doesn't help that all the enemies are about as smart as a flat tire, but that's another article altogether.

I consider Far Cry 2 to be a poor example of effective and believable product placement. The Jeeps are entirely out of place, and ridiculously common in the second part of the game. Perhaps if they were a little rarer and banged-up it would feel more real, but hey, I don't know what kind of exposure Jeep paid for. In fact, I'm just helping further advertise the product by writing this article. You win this round, Jeep!

With developers focusing more and more on realism these days, it's disappointing to see such poor or non-existent examples of product placement in video games. If a game is to be truly realistic, real products must be present in believable locations and quantities. Without this, games will never truly achieve realism in my eyes. You can have your photo-realistic graphics and destructible environments, but the second that flawlessly-animated background character reaches for a Crazy Cola the whole things comes crashing down.

EDIT: Thanks to Kalava for reminding me of Pikmin 2's product placement, a perfect example of how to do in-game advertising right. The game takes place on Earth, and there are Earth brands in places they belong. Tonnes of them, in fact. Duracell, Carmex, 7UP, Vlasic, Skippy, Snapple, Nintendo and more are inserted into the game world. Some may have sales pitch-like names, such as "Quenching Emblem", but that's the case for all the items found in Pikmin 2, as the eventual intention is to sell them on Olimar's home planet.

There really is nothing wrong to be found in Pikmin 2's implementation of product placement. It's perfectly believable, and done in a way that isn't blatantly screaming "BUY THIS PRODUCT". There's also the likely-unintended humour factor that comes from seeing such things in a Nintendo game. No matter how hard I try, I just can't keep from cracking a smile every time my Pikmin dig up something with a real-world logo on it. It's just so out of the ordinary that it becomes funny somehow.

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My thoughts on the DSi revamp

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:41:00 +0000

Sorry for the gap in updates there... Things should be a little better from this point onward.

It was announced earlier today, quite out of nowhere, that there will be yet another DSi model released by the end of this year. Reading the details, I was, at first, feeling a little cheated. I'd just bought my DSi in April, and here they are announcing another one with far bigger screens retailing for the exact same price. I'd be holding my DSi-Mini while other people are walking about with their Mega-DSi systems and enjoying the extra 0.75" of screen (It doesn't sound like much, but it really is). Seems unfair to the millions of DSi owners out there, doesn't it?

Perhaps not. Let's look at the reasoning for this update. As was said ages ago, Nintendo would be using bigger screens in upcoming handhelds to accommodate the poorer eyesight of the elderly. The new DSi's 4.0" screens are sure to be far easier on elderly eyes than that screens of previous systems. There's nothing wrong with this, and in fact, I support it. The more people who get to enjoy gaming, the better.

Another reason given is a little unclear at this point. It's been said that these larger screens will help "expand use for the system to movies and digital books". This is all fine and good, but... The wording makes it seem like this won't be available for the original run of the DSi. Of course, this is coming from a Japanese newspaper, so for all we know, something was lost in translation. Still, it's a little odd that the original article wasn't more specific.

Could these new, bigger screens play host to software incompatible with the older DSi?

Also unclear at this point is whether or not this new model would come with any hardware upgrades. Technology advances at an alarming rate, and it's entirely possible that hardware superior to that included to the DSi would have dropped to an affordable price-point in the last year. Would Nintendo go through with it, though? Releasing DSi-exclusive software is already splitting the industry as is. Making software using the advanced-hardware of this upcoming model would just divide things up further. So while it's possible that this new DSi could sport some faster, more powerful innards, I don't see it as being very likely. Worry not, fellow DSi-owners!

One problem many have mentioned regarding these larger screens is the resolution. Making screens bigger is better, yes, but not if the resolution doesn't increase along with it. Allow me to simplify. The DSi's resolution is 256x192 pixels, spread across a 3.25" screen. If the new DSi's resolution stays the same, it will then be 256x192 pixels spread across a 4.0" screen. Basically, the same image will be stretched further, and it will appear to be of lower quality. Look at the below image for an example (View full-size).

The above image is merely to illustrate the difference. It's not an exact representation.

The screenshot on the left is the same size and resolution as what you'd find on a DSi screen. On the right is the same screenshot enlarged to the dimensions of the new DSi's screen, resulting in pixelation. It's bigger, but not exactly prettier. If Nintendo takes this path with the new DSi, their new customers will be getting bigger screens, but with poorer pictures. Upping the resolution won't change a thing, as DS software is made for 256x192 and nothing bigger. Future software may be adapted to this, providing a higher-resolution image on the new DSi, but the library would be limited, at least at first. So while the larger images would be easier on elderly eyes, younger, sharper-eyed players would notice the pixelation.

The bottom line is that this new DSi wasn't made with everyone in mind. It was made for the elderly. Less of a broad market, yes, but a valid market nonetheless. Chances are that this new DSi will be exactly like the ones in millions of hands around the world at this moment, but with larger, pixel-enlarging screens. Also, if they don't upgrade the hardware, there's no reason owners of the original DSi can't get in on the movie and digital book action, removing the possibility that owners of the new model will be receiving exclusive features. Rest easy, DSi owners, for it seems your recent handheld investment is safe. Even if it does turn out to be better, it will only be marginally so, and hardly worth worrying about. Those out there considering buying a DSi should put a hold on those plans for a bit to see how things play out, but everyone else can relax. Whatever the outcome, we'll still have one of the best damn handhelds ever made, and that's nothing to be sad about.

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Hello? Anyone there?

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:00:00 +0000

This break lasted a little longer than I intended... I really hit one hell of a writer's block back there. Right now I have, oh, five or so unfinished articles sitting around. I just couldn't figure out what to write. Well, until today, as there's a new article right below this one! Really! No, I'm not kidding! Look! It's alright, I'll wait!

...

See? Bizarre, huh? Yes, I know it's not the longest update, but more extensive articles are on the way.

Now then, as for future updates, I hope to have something posted every week, with the occasional "bonus" update once in a while. As I said in the last post before this break, upon their return, polls and banners won't be weekly. They'll just change about whenever a new topic comes along. Having to change it every week led to lackluster topics, and I really try to avoid anything that can be described as "lackluster". It's not a pretty word.

One last thing. If you look below the banner (Below the ads if you don't have AdBlock), you may see some new randomly-selected text floating about. I decided to add a few random non-sequiturs during the last two and a half months. See, I wasn't being completely useless! ...just mostly! Anyways, there's 29 of them now, with more being added whenever something occurs to me. Catch 'em all!

For those of you still here, I thank you! All two of you! For anyone who has left, I hope you return. And for anyone visiting for the first time... Read the archives while I get things back up to speed, okay?

One Duck's Opinion: Dead No More!

The worst jobs in gaming

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:03:00 +0000

Just about everyone has some sort of complaint about their job. Idiot co-workers, a boss that expects too much, insufficient pay, laughable health coverage... The list goes on. It just can't get any worse, can it? You'd think so, but then you look at some of the jobs some video game characters have to deal with. You're the lucky one. Chances are your job is nowhere near as bad as some of the stuff listed below. What better way to make yourself feel better than to look at what some other jerks have to do for a living, virtual or not? Sit back, relax, and read all about these poor souls who would gladly trade their profession of depression for a more calming career.

Gym Leader

As seen in: Pokémon
Why it sucks: You dedicate your whole life to becoming a powerful Pokémon trainer, leading to the day when you prove yourself to the Pokémon League and become a certified Gym Leader. After all this work, what awaits you?

Defeat. Constant, never-ending defeat. Due to some stupid Pokémon League rule, you're restricted to fighting with only one type of Pokémon. Being restricted to one type, and even being advertised as such, trainers know just what to bring to the battle to counter you. It's a simple game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, except you can only ever pick Scissors, and your foes always choose Rock... Or Fire... Or Water... You know, depending on your "specialty".

What's more, Gym Leaders are very rarely permitted to even leave the building. Whether it's the afternoon on a Wednesday, midnight on a Sunday, or even frigging Christmas morning, you're pretty much stuck there for your whole life. Happy birthday, now get to work!

Stuck in a stinking building forever, constantly getting your ass-kicked by 11-year-olds... What could possibly be worse? Well, how about the fact that, after all your hard work to be powerful, you're stuck fighting with a team of three crappy, low-level Pokémon? Goodbye LV.85 Blastoise, hello LV.12 Geodude. If that isn't the biggest kick in the nuts since you learned you had to go by the pun-tastic moniker "Brock", nothing is.

Police Officer

As seen in: Grand Theft Auto and all games like it
Why it sucks: Police officers save lives, put criminals behind bars, and eat a whole whackload of donuts. It's a pretty sweet deal... In the real world. Take that cop in the video game world, though, and he'll be dead before you can say "Officer down!".

On the job hazards for Liberty City police officers are numerous to say the least. Shootings: Check. Explosions: Check. Traffic fatalities: Check A flaming car landing on you after falling from an overpass which then explodes (The car, not the overpass) and causes a chain-reaction of exploding vehicles all down the crowded avenue, all while being shot at: Check.

It's not as if the higher-ups have much faith in you, either. You're patrolling the streets of the most violent city in the country, and what equipment do you receive? A handgun, a flimsy patrol car, and minimal armour. This so isn't worth $15/hour. Further minimizing your importance to the police chief is how he seems to have the SWAT team on speed dial. It's as if he knows you're not going to be able to do it on your own. No matter, he'll be dead soon, too.

With all of this said, I can think of one upside to the job: You never have to worry about affording your retirement. I hear Cluckin' Bell is hiring...

Mayor

As seen in: Pretty much every RPG ever
Why it sucks: Congratulations, mayor! The people made their choice, and it was you. Okay, party's over, now let's get to work. The roads are full of potholes, educational funding is abysmal, and a gigantic monster just ate the entire industrial sector. Would you like a coffee?

In pretty much every RPG known to man, some town gets destroyed, or at least heavily damaged. From Mideel in Final Fantasy VII to Trodain in Dragon Quest VIII, a city randomly gets completely screwed over. Causes vary, but it happens. Sometimes it's a monster, other times it's an explosion, and other times it's a curse of some sort. Whatever the case, you'll probably be wishing you didn't win that election.

On the off-chance that you survive the destruction, you'll probably get blamed for whatever caused it. Chances are you had no part in the catastrophe, nor were you at all capable of preventing it. Nonetheless, every mayor should make room in the funding for some body armour.

If you still want to be mayor, though, go ahead, I won't stop you. Just make sure to keep an eye out for any gigantic monsters on the horizon, always have your luggage ready to go, and keep a scapegoat in mind (I'm partial to the finance minister).

If, after reading this article, you still feel your job is crap, please get in contact with me. I've always wanted to meet Mike Rowe.

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Gee, I bet nobody saw this one coming

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 05:16:00 +0000

As if you hadn't noticed, nothing's happened here in over a month, save for some poll results (The latest of which are slapped on the end of this post) and crummy five-second banners. Not exactly activity-central around here.

Long story short, I've just had no will to write. Ideas? Oh, I have some ideas. I just can't freaking write them. Hell, I'm finding it hard enough to write this. Well, let's get it over with...

I'm taking a break. Yeah, I know, I've technically been "Taking a break" for the past month, but this is different. There will be no new polls or banners until further notice. Posts will commence... Well, they'll actually resume whenever I feel able to write. Could be as soon as this weekend and as far away as next month. I don't know. Things WILL resume, though. I am NOT abandoning this blog. I haven't been doing this for two years just to quit now.

Stepping back quickly to address the matter of banners, for now I've tossed up the basic logo as the banner. In fact, I think I'll leave it like this, at least until I think of a new "generic" banner to take its place. Not that anyone's really looking at it anyways...

So that's how things will be. Notice how I didn't once use that dirtiest of words... "Hiatus". I hate that word. It always ends up meaning "Yeah, it's basically over, you can leave now". That's not what's going to happen here. This is not a hiatus. This is a break. Similar? Yes. Precisely the same thing? Not in my eyes.

How will I be using this time, you may ask? I'll be catching up on my gaming. Hopefully, when I return, this will provide a nice wave of reviews to kick things off once again. As of now, I'm approaching the "review point" on about three different games, hopefully indicating a return sooner rather than later. Let's hope this proves true!

Finally, what will things be like when posting resumes? To be brief, they'll be sporadic. Some weeks there may be four posts, and others there may be nothing at all. It all depends on inspiration and presence/absence of a writer's block. Also, polls and banners are likely to remain absent for a while, since, to be quite honest, there's been nothing at all to make a banner/poll about. Maybe I'll turn to monthly banners and polls instead, sort of like what I've Never Liked Your SpinachPuffs did before it went on... *Shudders* Hiatus.

Well, that's it, I guess. I'll see you all later!

Oh, and here's those poll results in case you still feel like reading after all that.

Poll #97: "DS Lite or DSi: Which do you prefer?"

"DS Lite" 2 votes (14%)
"DSi" 8 votes (57%)
"I like them both equally" 2 votes (14%)
"I don't know" 2 votes (14%)

...you know, this is somewhat ironic, but... Writing this has made me feel more like, well, writing. Looks like things may resume soon after all! Until then, folks!

Poll #96: "What do you think of Wii MotionPlus so far?" results, no new banner, additional textual screen-filler

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:32:00 +0000

"It's amazing!" 2 votes (11%)
"I like it" 2 votes (11%)
"I don't like it" 0 votes (0%)
"It's terrible!" 1 votes (5%)
"I'm indifferent/don't know yet" 1 vote (5%)
"I haven't tried it yet" 11 votes (64%)

I'm surprised so many people haven't tried it out yet! Well, at least those who have tried it seem to enjoy it. Except for that one guy... What's his deal?

As for this week's banner... There isn't one! I figure almost nobody saw it last week anyways, so why replace it? Also, I'm tired.

Moving along to this week's poll, the question is "DS Lite or DSi: Which do you prefer?" Both systems have their advantages, but what's your preference? To be honest, I can't pick one. I hope most other voters are more decisive than me!

Now, about the utter lack of activity here... I'm feeling much better now, so things will certainly be picking up very soon. I will write something this week, no question about it. Just not now, because it's 2:32 AM. But soon!

Poll #95: "Do you prefer 2D or 3D platformers?" results, banner, a word on recent activity

noreply@blogger.com (PsychoDuck) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:17:00 +0000

"2D" 7 votes (36%)
"3D" 5 votes (26%)
"I can't decide" 7 votes (36%)
"I'm not into platformers" 0 votes (0%)

It seems that those who aren't indifferent tend to lean in the direction of 2D. I guess you just don't forget those early days of Super Mario Bros.!

This week's banner is based on that funky-fresh Zelda concept art the internet has been chewing on for the last month. Is she the living version of the Master Sword? Or is she maybe the queen of the fairies? Hell if I know... Or care. I just want the damn game!

For this week's poll, the question is "What do you think of Wii MotionPlus so far?" It's been out for a little while now, so those who've picked it up probably have quite a bit of play time to base an opinion off of. Personally, I'm waiting until Wii Sports Resort, so I can't really say. Perhaps you have had a chance to give it a go, and if you have, let everyone know how you feel! And if you'd like to elaborate on your choice, you can always drop a comment!

Now, you've no doubt noticed that preceding this poll results post is another poll results post... Preceded by another (Not counting that little paragraph in between). To put it briefly (And to spare you all the details), I've been unwell lately. I've been unable to concentrate on much the last little while, including my love of gaming. And when I'm not gaming, I'm not coming up with article ideas. I'm feeling somewhat better as of today, but I've got a little ways to go before I'm back to normal. Don't worry, folks, I wasn't in some sort of crippling car accident and I don't have cancer or anything. It's just a... Well, I suppose you could say it's a condition I have. Nothing deadly, nothing like that, relax. Just something I'll have to deal with over the next little while.

As I said, I've been feeling a little better, so I would expect I'll have something written and posted soon. Don't expect anything big, but it'll be something. Hopefully I can keep things running smoothly from there. Now, though, I'd better be getting my sleep. See you all again soon... Sort of. I really don't actually see any of you ever. Awkwaaaaaaaard...

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The worst jobs in gaming

Gee, I bet nobody saw this one coming

Poll #96: "What do you think of Wii MotionPlus so far?" results, no new banner, additional textual screen-filler

Poll #95: "Do you prefer 2D or 3D platformers?" results, banner, a word on recent activity

A bit of news UPDATE