Here it is, the long sought key to extended youth.
Make appointments far out in the future.
For example, I just asked my wife for a dinner date on June 15, 2048.
Being a responsible person, I now have to make sure that I show up. In fact, I'd better be on time, too, because being late is disrespectful. You see, I'd rather talk about other things than time management while we're eating dinner.
Then, after I finish writing this article I plan to phone my favorite client to schedule a lunch appointment for the first week in September, 2067.
This has many good implications.
First, it assumes that we'll still be working together until then. As you might expect, I welcome having such a long period of predictable business. It also assumes that my client will be there. I'm sure this client will enjoy the friendly expectations inherent in my idea.
So what about you?
Are you making plans for the distant future?
For some people, this could be as far away as next week. Or maybe next year.
Recognize that there is power in making long range plans (or having any plans). Plans define the future that you're living into. Without them, you're actually going nowhere.
And please know that I realize there is a lot of uncertainty between now and way out then. For example, if a conflict arises with this client's schedule, we may need to move our lunch to the following week.
Key Point: Think big. That's where the good things are.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Think of a hamster in a wire wheel.
Now you have a compelling example of the ideal employee.
Notice the dedication, the persistence, the commitment. Notice how relentlessly the hamster works at achievement.
Of course, we know that there is a problem here. That is, there's nothing at the end of that wire wheel, except another rotation.
This matters because some people have designed a career based on the Infinite Hamster approach to success. They run hard every day with dedication, persistence, and commitment.
Unfortunately, they aren't going anywhere, except around to the spot where they were the day before.
Then one day the wheel disappears (i.e.,they retire), and they have nowhere to go.
So, if you find yourself feeling like a hamster, realize that you have a choice.
You can keep running in a circle. Or you can prepare a career plan that puts you in charge of where you go and what you do.
Yes, this takes some time. And it involves some risks. And it requires leaning new skills. But these are the elements of forward living.
They are also the keys to living well with a purpose that makes you feel powerful.
Key Point: There is much more to work than dedication, persistence, and commitment. You have to be going somewhere that matters.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Meetings have one or the other of these.
They either have words or ideas.
Recall a meeting that was full of words. What happened? For example, did people tell stories? Entertain with jokes? Make excuses? Criticize each other? Babble away, searching for a complete sentence?
Notice that none of these help anyone, except perhaps the person who is sending out the fog of words.
Which makes us wonder, why would anyone want to fill a meeting with words?
The answer is: words are safe. They prevent action. They keep things the same. They provide a wonderful refuge for the timid who want to avoid being challenged.
Ideas, however, are different.
Ideas are dynamic.
Ideas lead to change. Ideas make people think. Ideas start dialogue.
And then dialogue takes people on a wonderful intellectual adventure of exploration, learning, and play.
Thus the people who are frightened by brilliance, hold nice dull meetings where everyone trades words.
Of course, there is good news here. We don't need a meeting to vent words.
Really.
People can simply sit in their office and talk. Or stand on a street corner if they want an audience.
Then everyone else can spend their time working on tasks that make money for the business.
Key Point: Design meetings to exchange ideas. Your stockholders will thank you.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
PS: My workshop on meetings shows how to encourage and work with ideas.
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Which way are you going?
That is, are you moving toward success or away from it?
This matters because the direction of your choices in this regard determines what you accomplish.
You see, moving toward success is based on hope. Moving away from failure is based on fear. And hope always proves stronger than fear.
Why?
Moving toward success encourages you to work hard, set goals, take risks, be creative, and seek cooperation. As a result, your actions open possibilities and make progress toward something. Even your effort can be considered a success.
Avoiding failure causes you to move slowly, avoid risks, work alone, and (sometimes) do nothing. As a result, little (if anything) is accomplished.
This reveals a cruel paradox.
People who try to avoid failure, end up with more of it.
Key Point: Move toward success. You'll accomplish more.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Everyone wants acceptance, unless rejection proves useful.
In my November newsletter, I wrote about how to Get What You Want by asking for it.
Read the article at: Able Leader and find an index of articles at: Newsletter Archive
So, why might someone deliberately seek rejection?
Here's why:
1) Practice. When we start a new enterprise, we often have a new system. Even if it's the best possible system that we could build, it still needs to be tested. Thus, we can benefit from showing it to others, knowing that they will reject our offer.
Point: Use rejection to test and improve a new process. Always respond to the rejection by asking for ideas on how you can improve your request.
2) Sorting. Seeking rejection can serve as a marketing survey. Certainly, our customers are the people who accept our offers. And thus, determining those who decline helps us make our outreach efforts more efficient by removing them from further consideration.
Point: Focus on the people who want what you have.
3) Dialogue. Every request begins a dialogue. When appropriate, a rejection can lead to exploring alternatives. Now you can discuss viable options that provide a benefit for both you and the other person.
Point: Use rejection to start a dialogue on what else is possible.
4) Surprise. Sometimes we underestimate opportunities. We can thus find out if something is possible only by asking. And we might be surprised. A request that we judged to be difficult may be much easier to obtain than we expected.
Point: Make outrageous requests. The fact that you asked, makes the possibility a reality.
Key Point: Rejection is a key part of achieving success. Use it strategically to get what you want.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Maybe the purpose of life is to be amazed by the things other people do.
Thursday (Nov. 5) I was taking photos in the Fullerton Arboretum.
(I decided to enjoy some fresh air after mailing my November newsletter, which always marks the end of a major project. Read this issue at: Able Leader)
So, I was standing beside a flower that was perfect for photography. It was fresh, nicely shaped, and standing in good light. While I was planning where I'd set up my tripod, a woman came by.
I told her that I was taking photos of the daffodils. And she told me that they were narcissus. I thanked her for the correction. And she added that they have a nice smell, as she casually reached down and plucked the "Perfect Flower." Then she sniffed it, tore it in half, and tossed it on the ground.
I was shocked. She had just destroyed the flower that I planned to photograph.
This brings to mind two lessons.
1) I could have told her that I was planning to photograph THAT flower. Maybe she would have left it alone. Or picked another flower.
2) We need to leave nature alone. When someone destroys a piece of nature, that piece is gone. She could have bent over and sniffed the flower without destroying it. Then I could have taken a photograph.
So this is a plea to treat nature with respect.
Flowers, trees, and animals are all living things. They are part of the collective life presence that inhabits this planet.
Those flowers, for example, are there to be beautiful for everyone who comes by. They may even be waiting for a photographer.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Bad bosses don't just happen. They result from a three step process.
1) Someone hires them.
Almost anyone can behave well for the duration of an interview. Thus, bad candidates manage to fool the interviewer.
This can be easy to do because some interviewers use the wrong approach. They talk about themselves, the company, and the job. They focus on technical skills instead of behavior patterns. Or they ask the wrong questions. As a result they hire the wrong people for the wrong reasons.
Better: Define the criteria that represent an ideal candidate for the job being filled. Use a behavior and ethics based interview process. Understand behavior styles. Learn effective questioning and interviewing techniques.
2) Someone keeps them.
Once on the job, a person's true behavior emerges. Now everyone can witness screaming, meanness, deceit, and other toxic behaviors.
Ideally, someone (such as that person's boss) would take immediate action to stop such destructive behavior. Instead, everyone (including the person's boss) either ignores or allows it. This is bad because toxic behavior damages everyone's productivity. It can even result in the toxic person appearing to be more productive than others.
Better: Any toxic behavior must be confronted and stopped the first time it appears. This requires coaching for the first occurrence. Then it may require counseling. And if it continues, the toxic person should be fired. Of course, you will need to work with your HR group to identify resources and follow proper procedures.
3) Someone promotes them.
Some toxic employees appear to be top performers simply because they have destroyed the effectiveness of everyone else. Actually, their contributions may be minimal. And in some cases their actions can severely harm a business (i.e., cost money, delay projects, lose customers, cause resignations, prevent communication, and so on).
Many organizations award promotions based entirely on technical achievements. This becomes a problem if those achievements were gained through unsustainable actions such as false claims, intimidation, or politics.
Better: Award promotions into leadership positions based on proven leadership skills. Provide leadership training to prepare future leaders for such promotions. Establish clarity on the skills that represent effective leadership. Create a culture that facilitates good leadership.
Key Point: Bad bosses result from negligence in the basic activities of hiring, evaluating, and promoting people.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
PS: My workshops show people how to be good bosses, as well as effective leaders.
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
I think I found the problem.
While language was the critical invention that lifted humans above other animals, it also brought disabilities that make our lives more painful.
I discovered this by talking with Olivia Felini (a cat). It seems that some common words in our language are absent from a cat's vocabulary. This explains why cats live such powerful, peaceful lives.
Here are some nasty human words, with Olivia's comments when I tried to explain them to her. Be warned, cats have a tendency to be blunt.
Blame - "It's my fault if I'm hungry."
Pity - "Talk to a dog if you want to complain."
Failure - "By definition I'm a success."
Lies - "When I meow, I mean 'Meow!'"
Finite - "I live every moment as if it were an eternity."
Not - "All I know is what exists."
Death - "I'm too busy being alive."
Fear - "Is this some kind of a disease?"
Worry - "Even mice are too busy for this."
Shame - "Everything I do is perfect."
Rejection - "It's your problem that you misunderstood my request."
At this point Olivia walked out of the room, muttering, "Now I know why he takes more than a second to fall asleep."
Key Point: You are the thoughts that you allow in your mind.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
This had an unusual start.
I was wondering about (feeling grumpy, actually) the failures of the past week. And while writing about failure in my journal, I achieved a small success: I wrote three and a half pages of quotes about failure.
Here are the better ones (yes, some of them were, you know, failures):
• There is no such thing as a life without failure. You either earn it by taking risks or you choose it by doing nothing.
• Failure is the first half of learning how to do a better job next time.
• Failure is the admission price for success. Sadly, some people give up after having paid it.
• The odd thing about failure is, the more you try to avoid it, the more failure happens to you.
• Failure exists to test your commitment.
• Some of the most inspirational people in my life were the ones who told me that I'd fail. (Then I went to work, proving them wrong.)
• If you aren't busy failing, you're busy wasting your time.
• If we were supposed to be discouraged by failure, we'd still be crawling on our hands and knees.
• People who won't admit failure scare me. They're either hiding something or doing nothing.
• You can learn more from one ordinary failure than from a dozen extraordinary successes.
• There's no such thing as a perfect first draft.
• Failure is simply an invitation to try again by doing something different.
• Failure protects us from situations, relationships, and agreements that would never work out.
• Successful people fail strategically. That is, they plan failures that will put them in situations where they can learn, grow, and prosper.
• If you haven't failed, you have nothing to talk about.
• Fear of failure is discouragement that we give ourselves.
• The true measure of a success is the amount of failure that was overcome to achieve it.
Key Point: Go forth and fail.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator
Have you noticed that the last two months of the year seem to rush by?
Before you can put away the dishes or pick up the wrapping paper, there it is again: January 1st and the beginning of another new year.
So, what do you plan to do with the remaining two months of 2009? What do you plan to accomplish? What will you do to make a difference?
For most of you, that is an easy question because you have spent the past months putting events in motion so that they could bring you good results during the weeks ahead.
I'd like to share some of the things that I'm working on because these contain useful news, interesting possibilities, and requests for help.
I plan to:
1) Attend the Social Entrepreneur Summit on Nov. 7 - 8, in Long Beach, CA. I value learning, and thus attend many educational programs. You'll find details about this event at:
If this program interests you, call me. I may be able to bring you in as a guest (i.e., at no charge).
This promises to be a weekend packed with valuable educational sessions and excellent networking opportunities.
2) Find three people for HUB. I'm involved in many programs that advance social good. HUB, or Humanity Unites Brilliance, is one of them. HUB is conducting the Social Entrepreneur Summit mentioned above. If you're interested in a powerful way of making a difference, call me. Or visit the link below.
3) Give one, maybe two, pro bono presentations during November and December. One goal in my marketing plan is to give at least one presentation each month to a professional organization. I do this to support these organizations and to provide a sample of my work. Call me if you live near zip code 92870 and would like to: a) schedule a presentation, or b) attend as my guest.
4) Buy a 27-in iMac on November 27. I decided to make this purchase in January when I wrote my business plan for 2009. Why? Because I knew Apple would announce their next version of the iMac in September or October and I know that Apple holds their one sale of the year on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
5) Go on a photo trip. I'll post photos and lessons gained after we return. Stay tuned for more.
6) Find new clients. If you want to get better results by being a more effective leader, call me. An entrepreneurial business is always seeking ways to serve others.
Key Point: A full schedule leads to expanding successes.
Much success,
Steve Kaye
714-528-1300
Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator