One Million Little Thoughts

Good News, Good News

2010-09-02T11:29:00.001-04:00

Apparently life is getting better at this "treating Lindsay well thing", I like it. I have asked it to not stop, and it has agreed (we have a close bond like that, or it is just tired of me constantly nagging at it..)

So, I just recently got the job that I was waiting for!! I'm so happy!!! It's a step up, way better pay, and a shorter drive and I will gain a ton of experience. I will be an "Intermediate Human Resources Representative", it's a one year contract, but there is potential to be hired on Full Time. I made it from 75 resumes that they had received, to eight people being interviewed, to four with a second interview...and down to the final two getting reference checked!

Sexy Ladies! Who Wants some Sexy Ladies??

2010-08-31T09:37:00.001-04:00

For those that have been to Vegas, you will know what I'm talking about. For those that haven't been, here is your lesson of the day!

There is an ABUNDANCE of Sexy Ladies on the streets of Vegas.

Nope, not real live sexy ladies walking around on the streets.

Okay, well maybe there are some real sexy ladies, like the group I went to Vegas with.

But, I'm talking about the naked sexy ladies, those you don't see in real life on the streets (unless you purchase one, and take them off the street...then you can see them naked in your hotel room...I'm assuming).

You do, however, get to see plenty of these naked sexy ladies on business cards that are being handed to you every 5 steps on the streets, for your own pleasurable taking!

I collected them. I gave them to Justin, as my gift to him. I don't really like buying souvenirs so I just gave him something that I got for free.

(I'm cheap)

My plan is to keep them, and use them as trading cards. You know how people use to trade "baseball cards"

I will trade you my card with one naked lady with GIGANTIC nipples (ugh I hate that word...nipples, it's so wrong! But I can't think of any other word to say.. :( ), for your card with two naked women that have really huge boobies!

I think this will only catch on between Justin and I. I don't know if anyone else would really want to play.

It's really funny watching couples walk around the streets. The individuals handing out the cards don't really care who they are handing the cards out to, but primarily you see them being handed to men. Lots of men, with their real life ladies (aka, wives) are taking the cards of the Sexy Ladies, maybe to call later...who knows. A lot are thrown onto the streets, but "What Happens In Vegas, Stays in Vegas" ....so who really does know how many "Sexy Ladies" are called.

You can get 2 for the $99 special.

I would just like to know if....the women that I see on the card...is that really going to be the women that comes to my room??? Because, I don't really think so.

So Icky!

But they are still fun to laugh at, and to trade!

BTW: I believe that my blog is getting too sexual, and I must tone down the sexual nature of my blog. I have too many family member readers, LOL. I don't know how much they appreciate me talking about A) Gigantic nipples, B) Penis C) Va-Jay-Jay.
- Apparently, from the number of posts that I do about these things, I find these body parts quite humourous...LOL
-- I apologize if I have offended anyone.

Viva Las Vegas

2010-08-26T08:55:00.000-04:00

This is why I haven't blogged in a couple days.

The Group - Minus 1, her flight came in after ours.

I spent this past weekend in V.E.G.A.S with ten of my friends.
It was sort of a last minute vacation for me. I knew everyone was going a couple of months ago, I asked and couldn't get it off work.
On Monday, I asked again because the girl I was covering for came back to work
So on Monday, I booked the flight!!!

It was an amazing whirlwind weekend that went way too fast! I miss the limo rides that we took EVERY WHERE, I miss hanging out with my friends, and being handed cards to order "sexy ladies" aka. Prostitutes every step I took. I came home with two new nicknames - "Five-O" and "Baby LiLi", I can't way to go back to Vegas!!!!

I'm exhausted, and have no energy to actually write a blog post. We stayed up for 24 hours the first day, and with the time change...my body still hasn't caught up.

Wrong Washroom...big Mistake!

2010-08-17T08:51:00.000-04:00

Today, I walked into the men's washroom at work. Purely by accident. I was in my own little lollipops and rainbow world..looking out the window, thinking of pretty things...uh probably wasn't thinking of anything..brain at work = turned off......and turned into the men's washroom. The washrooms are side by side..and I just decided to walk into the men's today.

No biggy, happens all the time you know. Ok...well not all the time..but I've done it before. It's only a one person washroom anyways. I just made sure that no one seen me leave.

It reminded me of the time that I walked into a men's washroom in a very packed rest stop. I apparently can't tell the difference between....stick person wearing dress...stick person naked, but anyways.

Yea, I walked right in. Looked at the man washing his hands, gave him a crazy stare and ask "uh, what are you doing in here?" he went to reply...but then... I saw the urinals...I went all red in the face and quickly walked out, as my boyfriend stood there staring and laughing at me while I quickly scooted myself from the Men's Washroom to the Women's. So embarrassing.

I Dream of Strippers

2010-08-06T13:12:00.002-04:00

Strippers, the naked kind. Actually, I dream of toothless strippers, their gappy teeth just smiling at me...while they steal my boyfriend.

I don't know why I was dreaming of strippers, it's not like I have been to a dirty stripper bar ~~ever~~ lately. (Yes, I have been to a stripper bar. Don't Judge me. It was the male sort of stripper bar...penis' flying everywhere, it was the most hilarious experience of my life. Penis= funny. Naked Women were Upstairs, Naked Men downstairs... you could really make it a family event if you wanted -->

"Bye Sweety, I'm just heading downstairs to look at some flying Penis. Have fun looking at boobies, here's $20 go buy yourself a lap dance. I'll meet you here at 1:00am and we will go home"

.....or not )

Anyways, on to my dream. So I was on the cruise ship that we went on for Justin's Sisters Wedding (Check her blog out here), with family and friends. It was a couple of hours before her wedding and Justin pulls me aside to tell me something.

Can't remember word for word, but conversation kind of went something like this.....

Justin: "I'm getting married. I met Roxy here on the ship, she works downstairs in the stripper bar (BTW -- no stripper bar existed on the cruise ship, my dream made it up). Her sister Lola also comes with her. Two for one package." *wink**wink*

Lindsay: Pulls Justin aside "Your acting funny, kind of like a pimp. Have you become a pimp? These women, have no teeth Justin. No teeth. At All....ew. Why are you leaving me for strippers?"

Justin: ---Just Smiles, and walks away with his two toothless wonders--- I then notice he is carrying a pimp stick, and has a fancy hat on with a fur jacket. (the stick, hat, and coat magically appeard)

I remember being all upset that my boyfriend left me, became a pimp and was marrying two dirty strippers. I was kicked off the cruise ship and wasn't allowed back because everyone hated me.

*** HOW THE HECK DID MY BRAIN COME UP WITH THIS ODD LITTLE DREAM***

In no way, shape or form..am I afraid that Justin is going to cheat on me with some strippers. Or cheat on me with anyone for that matter.

Yesterday evening we were talking about people cheating on people, so maybe my brain was just remembering us talking about it.

We were also talking about strip clubs.

I think my brain is just secretely afraid of toothless strippers coming to get me.

Yes, my mom reads my blog and I just wrote about flying penis' and boobies all in one blog.

hi Mom!

Life After College - Guest Post

2010-08-06T10:59:00.000-04:00

So this is exciting news!!!! I wrote a guest post for Jill at Life After College , reviewing how I got to where I am today...she has guests post about their experiences in their 20's and life after college.

Go Check it Out!!!!!

P.S Dear Family:....when it says a boy kissed me in college....he did...on my cheek, I turned my head and quickly punched him....in the face :) Justin knows, don't be alarmed!

Home is Where the Heart is

2010-08-05T13:30:00.012-04:00

It's almost been 2 months since Justin and I moved into our home that we purchased together. It has been amazing having our own home, and being able to do whatever we want to it. There was not a lot that needed to be done to the house to make us happy. We just painted the living room, and dining room but haven't done too much else. We will need to do some updating later on, but for right now we are happy with it. It's a 120 year old house, with a lot of updates done to it by the previous owners. We will eventually change the colours in the kitchen, and do some updating in the bedrooms, and bathrooms.

Here are some before and after pictures of the living room and dining room. BTW I'm a terrible photographer....

Living Room Before:

Living Room After:

We still need curtains

Above the shelf will go a huge, beautiful, colourful painting...that I have yet find/purchase

Dining Room Before:

Dining Room After:

Here are some pictures of the Kitchen:

Here is the house and the yard....

There are three ponds, this is the medium size one.

So that's my house, ta-da!! I will add pictures of the bedroom later and two guest bedrooms. There is a bathroom and a ensuite bathroom (just toliet and sink), as well as a computer room with a piano that they left.

I love everything about it, it's character, and what we have done to it so far.

I'm Looking for a Date, or a Husband...Let's see if 911 Can Help

2010-08-05T09:38:00.002-04:00

What do you do when your lonely, your drunk, and your looking for a date? Maybe you'd go online, possibly go on plentyoffish.com or some other dating website but wait...actually dialing 911 might be a better option, ya I think I'll try that! Let's see if one of the dispatchers wants to go on a date with me, maybe I'll get lucky and one might even want to be my husband! Before I call, I have to urinate (all this excitement about finding a date through the lovely dating agency of 911 has really worked my bladder)...I know a great place to pee.... I shall do that in the hallway of my apartment (it really has a beautiful decor, don't you think).... Hmm..no one wants to date me at 911...I think I shall call back 4 more times and see if someone else wants to.

Yes, this happened. Not to me (wouldn't that have been just great if it did though), but two ladies in Ohio did ....one looking for a date, the other, a husband. Please read news article here

Oh, but please don't be embarrassed that you are lonely and called 911 looking for a date, you are an extremely "brave and bold" individual. When you are interviewed by a radio station, don't accept that you were drunk (hey sometimes we can't tell that we are, it happens....)....“I can't believe I did that. I must have been drunk and didn't realize it.”

I loves it! I really shouldn't make fun, she probably is lonely, but just didn't go through the correct avenues to find a date.

Ms. Bernadette Music --The Accussed (and arrested)

http://www.torontosun.com/news/world/2010/08/04/14919061.html

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY

2010-08-04T10:11:00.000-04:00

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!!

I hope it's everything that you hope it will be, that you party like a Rock Star, hit a bunch of strip bars, wake up naked in a hotel room. I hope you throw your t.v out a window, smoke a bunch of endos (if you know what they are..because I don't..but if that are bad...please don't do it...)......and the rest doesn't really relate...oh and.....

I Hope that you.........

get whipped by a stripper with a belt......again.

Love you!

Hope I embarrassed you, it's the best present that you could get...embarrassment!

P.S Do you even read my Blog?

P.P.S I was going to put the picture of you with a condom on your head, but I didn't.

P.P.P.S You Can Thank Me Later.

P.P.P.P.S I think I shall tag you on facebook with my blog post :) Sound Good? Okay, Glad you Agree!

P.P.P.P.P.S is it supposed to be multiple P's..or S's if I do more than one P.S...I'm confused.

I'm an Angel? Where are my Wings?

2010-08-04T08:35:00.001-04:00

You thought I was sweet like sugar, well let me tell you...today I look like an angel.

Yea, ya heard me!

Same Guy....creepy old man...came in to get his alligator clips.

"Hey Angel, you are looking so beautiful today"

Me: " I HAVE YOUR ALLIGATOR CLIPS, here you gooooo"

"My, My, such a beautiful girl"

Me: "Thank you, have a nice day"

EEK, it was so creepy, because again I was the only one in the office. I hope he never comes in again.

I'm Sweet Like Sugar...Sugar...Sugar!

2010-07-28T16:02:00.000-04:00

Oh you bet I am! I was even told that today.

Creepy Man @ Work: "Hey Sugar, You're looking sweet today" and don't mind me while I just stare at your breasts while I talk to you

Me: Face going red "Oh uh, Thank you, how can I help you today" cringe...oh god please don't say anything gross, that was the wrong thing to have said in this situation. Where's my boss, why am I all alone in this office......

Creepy Man @ Work: "I need one of those alligator clips to put on my punch card" Please look at me while I make pinchy movements with my fingers on both hands (like alligator clips) directly infront of my nipples...I know you want me.

Me: "Oh..They are all out, sorry. Come back next week and we may have some" Oh baby, I definately want your 70 year old, smelly self...please continue making those motions infront of your nipples...NOT

Creepy Man @ Work: "Wow, You're looking awesome today" I'm just going to continue to sit here and look at your breast, oh look at that...I just checked out the area near your whoo haa as well.

Me: thinking to myself....actually I look like crap, but sweet talking me isn't going to get you anywhere buddy. "Thanks, I have to get back to work now, I'd try back next week...Have a Nice Day!"

He was kind of like the Creepy Old Man on Family Guy..only Younger..and he likes Girls instead of Guys..and I actually know what he's trying to do...unlike Chris!

I love my job....I love my job....I love my job???

I'm Going on a Bear Hunt......Okay, Not Really...but I'm on a Hunt!!!!!!!!

2010-07-27T11:58:00.001-04:00

Yes, I'm on the hunt again. The hunt for something great, well... not as great as going on a bear hunt but whatever! Okay, really it's not that great at all, I'm the hunt for a job........again.

My Human Resources contract is up at the end of September. It was supposed to be longer then that, which is why I wasn't worried, but now the girl I am covering for wants to return in the middle of August. So now, I get to re-train her on how to do her job...and then I am kicked outta here!

I hate hunting for a job. Really, it's not that much fun. I know I've blogged about how to write a resume and how to act when Getting the call .....but I don't wanna write another resume or go to another interview!!!!!!!!! I want to do the interviewing.....not be the interviewee!!! I want to fix your benefits, hire you, discipline you, fire you, train you, fight with your union...I want to doo all of that fun Human Resources Stuff....not look for a job that I can't find!!!

I have taken a list of all of the potential jobs that I am going to apply for:

1. Go back to my childhood dream and become a dickey dee driver

2. Flip Burgers

3. Go back to school and become a professional student

(try to find some way to make $$ while doing this)
4. Beg for money on the streets
5. Sell shoes, and get free shoes...mmm shooes
6. .........try to find a Human Resources job...........
(Somehow..begging for money seems easier)
8. Do illegal and immoral things to make money
7. Become a stay at home girl friend,be a bum all day and then revert back to doing my list of 25 things to do when your unemployed.

BOO EARNS!! This sucks! WHY CAN'T MONEY GROW ON TREES! I do have a potential interview, but if it actually happens..you'll hear about it later.

I listed my 25 things to do when unemployed, just in case you were too lazy to go back and read it...now you will know what my life is going to look like in 2 months.....yeaaaaah you!!!

#ANGRYBLOG! ---> Sorry I'm just a little stressed out

LOL :)

25 Things to Do While Unemployed
1. Stare at the computer all day in hopes that something interesting might happen.

2. List different things that you could do for money
3. Cross all of them off because they are either illegal, or immoral
4. Wake up really late, and ruin the rest of your day because you over slept.
5. Yell out the window at the construction workers to shut up, you are trying to sleep till 11 because that's what the unemployed do!
6. Curse them, because at least they have a job, and a life and don't need to sleep till 11'oclock to fill up time
7. Crazily text your boyfriend, on topics such as a) You want Ice Cream b) That you are bored c) That you hate the economy and d) that there are no jobs.
8. Research vacations that you will never go on.
9. Cut grass for your boyfriends place of work because that is what your education gave you skills for. NOT!
10. Cut your own bangs
11. Dance around your apartment like a crazy person, screaming out the words to songs while using a broom as microphone
12. Run away scared from your cat because she doesn't like your singing and decides to bite you, resulting in locking yourself in the bedroom for ten minutes while she calms down.

13. Come up with different ways to avoid cleaning
14. Bake muffins, but throw them all out because you realize the mix you used expired a year and a half ago and they looked funny.
15. Call your mom and bug her for an hour while talking about everything under the sun. Almost make her late for work because you won't shut up
16. Ponder over what blogs you should write about, come up with nothing because your life is boring
17. Watch G.I Jane until 1:00 in the morning and decide you are going to shave your head and join the army
18. Scratch that idea when you realize it's silly, you won't look as hot as Demi Moore, and that's the only reason why you would do it.
19. Come up with reasons why you should be in the movie Twilight a) you have fangs and b) you are as pale as a ghost. Then think of ways why you shouldn't be in the movie...there are none. They should probably be calling me right now.
20. Have minor panic attacks about money, and not having a job.
21. Lie that you have minor panic attacks, when you really have MAJOR panic attacks
22. Think of ways to be creative. Maybe make your own dark grey duvet cover, then realize you don't know how to sew.
23. Google: Things to do When Unemployed.
24. Jump on your bed, because you can do whatever you want to, then get embarrassed because people outside are looking at you.
25. Oh..and Look for jobs, update your resume, update cover letters, apply to one million jobs you will never get a call back from, and go to an interview at a temp agency where the interviewer ackwardly flirts with you.

I Can't Move

2010-07-26T12:48:00.000-04:00

It's true. I can't move, like at all! I spent the entire weekend being carried:

up stairs, down stairs, to the washroom, the the kitchen

I also spent the weekend

screaming in pain when trying to sit (especially when I had to go to the washroom), hobbling as slow as a sloth to get to and from each room in the house....and limping around the mall.

Can't forget being laughed at by the boyfriend for being a wimp!

Pretty much, I spent the weekend acting like a big baby!

All because I love my friends. Yup, that's right...it was all out of love.

I'm not a "working out" type of person. I hate being sweaty, and I just don't find joy out of doing physical activity.

In High school, I used to run. I actually was top notch at running X-country, and 1500m and 3000m in track and field. I barely every placed over 20th in X-Country and was usually top placer in Track. However...that was in high school...that was over 5 years ago.

Since then, I haven't run...I haven't done any sort of physical activity.

Until this weekend.

I ran 5k with my friends for a good cause!

AND I DID IT!

Maybe I burnt myself out by thinking that I could run as fast as I used to.......but I FINISHED!!!

I was so nervous that I would pass out...but I didn't!

I am now going to start running again because I remembered how much I enjoyed it in High School...and maybe someday I will be able to run as fast and be able to finish the 5k in less then 30 minutes like before!!!!

I'm Such a Baby

2010-07-23T10:25:00.000-04:00

It's time for me to put on my big girl pants, and grow a pair.

( Okay, well maybe I really shouldn't grow a pair. I don't know how it'd make me more "tough and grown up"....really..it would just make me more whiney. Expecially when I don't get my way or when I get sick (ahem just like most guys i know). Plus, I don't really know how much Justin would like it if I did in fact "grow a pair")

Anyways...

I was left alone. Yes, he left me. ALL. BY. MY. SELF!!!!!! I was left to fend for myself, fight off murders, hide from burgalers, panic about being kidnapped and deal with two crazy cats......all by my self. It's officially been two nights, and he is supposed to be home tonight (THANK GOODNESS). I was not ready for this! Nope, not in the least bit! Not a happy camper. I'm fine being alone in the day time, actually I really enjoy it. But, Night time..is an entirely different story!

This is all coming from the girl who at fifteen would turn on all of the lights in the house, cover myself up with a blanket, sit at the living room window, read a book and wait for my parents to come home. No, I wouldn't watch t.v or a movie...because then..I couldn't hear if someone was breaking in (I think I started watching scary movies too young, and they have now filled my head full of nightmares about being home alone). Of course, when my parents came into the drive way I would quickly run to my bedroom and pretend I was sleeping..and not afraid at all!! I'm tough, really I am........ not!

I feel like I need a babysitter, maybe like a second boyfriend (who only comes to BBQ me dinner, and listen for the murders..but nothing else) whenever I am left alone again...Although...I don't think Justin would like that idea too much (I wonder why, Ha!)

SO I sat in my bed room for two nights......front door locked, back door locked, bed room door shut and locked....with my two cats, and their food and litter box and my lap top. Oh, So what if it was only nine o'clock..I was going to bed..I was too afraid to do anything else!

I did break habit and watched movies though. Prince of Persia, Wanted, and The Last Song. I pretty much sat in bed from 5-9...watching movies, and not moving from the bedroom. I did try to teach my self the piano. I was unsuccesful.

I ate popcorn, chips, ice cream, and sour patch kids for dinner both nights. Yum!

(Can you tell that I wasn't left alone very much as a kid)

Note to Self: DO NOT run outside only wearing a T-Shirt

2010-07-20T12:54:00.004-04:00

Who was running around outside like a crazy person last night wearing only: an

XL Men's T-Shirt with Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys on it that says "A Dope Trailer is No Place For a Kitty"

...and underwear underneath?

Oh right...ya, that was me!!!!

My Kitten escaped! I was changing into my normal p.j's (not a trailer park boys t-shirt) when Justin yelled for me to come down quickly! I grabbed the first thing and put it on.....

(wouldn't that have been a shocker if someone was visiting and just wanted me to say hi)

So, I got downstairs and he told me that the kitten had escaped outside and to go look for it... as he was holding the Hot-Dogs he just BBQ'd for dinner, trying to set them down while opening the door and trying to prevent the other cat from escaping.

SO what did I do? I ran outside. My Backyard is fairly enclosed, but you can still see a lot of it from the driveway. Normally, people aren't outside my driveway..but tonight..oh yes they were!!

So I'm running around my backyard...wearing only a t-shirt....and crawling under my car looking for my cat..when I turn around and see an elderly couple staring at me.

What do I do?I stand up...and I wave, yes, I waved to the elderly couple..while wearing a t-shirt that says "A dope trailer is No place for a kitty" ...all the while I was crawling on the ground..looking for my kitty...yelling "here kitty, kitty, kitty".....these people think I'm crazy..I'm sure! They now probably think that my house is a "dope trailer".

I find the little one, and carry her back inside, all embarrassed and red faced. Justin appears....gives me the up and down...and starts laughing! "WHAT are you wearing?" "You went outside, wearing that?" "HAHAHAHAHAH" "Did anyone see you?"

Yes, I did go out like that....... and Yes, Someone did see me....do you have a problem with that!??!

I think I'm going to secretly throw this t-shirt out, so I don't get caught in this dilemma again. Although, the boyfriend loves this shirt for some reason..and will probably notice it missing!!!

You Clean, I Clean.....and Then I Find Rib Bones..Where?

2010-07-19T15:29:00.001-04:00

I found rib bones in the dresser. Yes, you read correctly.

Rib Bones...were found...in the top drawer.... of my dresser!!!

I just don't know who's they were, but something is telling me they weren't mine.... I have an idea on who left them there...(and I think his name is Justin)....he's a sneaky one!

We share our house cleaning.  I know he shoves things into places to look like he's cleaned more, especially when we are having guests over. I do the same, my clothes get ~~piled~~ shoved into the dresser, but never have I put a plate of bones into the dresser.

It's a interesting concept: hide plate of rib bones so girlfriend or guests won't find them, ~~bring them down to kitchen when people are gone~~, forget about them for a couple of weeks, girlfriend cleans bedroom, finds them.....

At least the bones were cleaned off, so there were no bugs, or rotting food. I laughed pretty hard once I found them because I knew exactly what he had done. I brought them down, placed the plate in front of him, and laughed at the look on his face!!!!! He explained that he "forgot" about them "and how it was a good idea at the time" ...then he was all grossed out by them.

Thank goodness I love him so much!

(Me) and the Accused!!!

I Love Warm Fuzzies

2010-07-16T10:46:00.001-04:00

I do, I love Warm Fuzzies. No, not fuzzy p.j's that keep you warm at night. The, someone just said something really nice to me and I am all warm and fuzzy inside, kind. I L.o.v.e them. I don't know anyone that hates them, and if they do..they have problems.

I remember an exercise we did in High School. We were each given a peice of paper and tape, and had to get someone to stick it to our backs. We were then given a marker, and were told:

"On everyone's back, write something that you feel is a good quality about them. Don't make it generalized, make it about them. Whether it is one of their physical attributes, their personality, or a quality you really like about them, put it down"

We all looked around at eacother, not knowing what to write and not really wanting to do it.. It's funny, how the moment you have something nice to say about someone..you chicken out or you feel embarrassed to say something. This is why the teacher put the peices of paper on our backs. We wouldn't know who wrote what, and wouldn't have to say it to someone's face. But why?

Why is it so hard for us to open up and explain to someone why we really enjoy their company, why we admire a quality, and what we love about them? We don't surround ourselves by bad company. We have our friends because they have qualities, attributes, and personalities that we enjoy, they make us happy. So, why don't we ever say anything.

I love all of my friends for different reasons, but do any of them really know why I love hanging out with them so much?

I remember all us sitting in silence at the end of our exercise, reading about the warm fuzzies that people said about us. None of us said a thing, as we all read about the things people liked about us. It was a confidence booster.

" I love your smile "
" I love how you are never mean to anyone "
" You are so funny "
" You are beautiful "
" So many people like you, I want to be your friend too "
" I love when you are outgoing, stop being so shy "

The above are some of the things that people wrote about me.

I've never thought any of these things about myself. I never thought I was "beautiful" but people actually wrote it, and not just one. Our judgements of ourselves, put us back. When people actually say these things to us, we may actually start thinking it. This exercise allowed us to see that everyone, no matter what group they were in, had nice things to say about us....even if we had never spoke to them before.

But, after this exercise I remember my little moody teenage self going back to having the low confidence and thinking I wasn't pretty at all... I hate having confidence issues, I go back and forth..it's annoying!!! But almost everyone has confidence issues, whether they admit it or not.

If people actually complimented each other more, about the things that they loved, would we have these feelings still?

I Got it From My Mamma....and my Pappa.

2010-07-16T09:52:00.003-04:00

I always say the wrong things. I mix up my words, I can't think of the right words to say...ever. I mix words like Kitchen and Bathroom together when I am thinkin of both...I have to go to the Kitchroom now...I used to think I had mad cow disease (I read an article about some lady that had it, and how she started saying things wrong....so I began thinking that I had it...I'm a little bit of a hypochondriac), but I have now concluded that I got it from my mamma..and my pappa.

Mom: "How Many Periods are in a Baseball Game"

Although I give her credit, she isn't a sporty person..so she wouldn't have known..but it made me laugh. Periods are Hockey Mom...Innings are baseball. I laughed about that one for a good hour.

Dad: "Why Don't You Just Go Barbeque or Something"

He was in an argument with some man at the ramp where we put our boat into the lake. The man got all puffed up in my dad's face..and they were chest to chest..he was trying to fight my Dad!! So my dad came back with that comeback...real catchy Dad. "Oh, yes of Course Sir, I do believe I should go Barbeque, or something...great idea, I am backing down from this fight now..".... I would have backed off the fight if someone threw them fighting words in my face.

My Family is a bunch of Blondies, okay? Well wait a minute.......I'm the only that's blonde..the rest are brunette. I think I'm adopted, or maybe the milk mans...but then they say things like this and then I remember..I say weird things too!!
So then that all comes back to me. My parents couldn't find the right words to say, which has increased my genetic disposition to say the wrong things, all of the time.

Like:

"Justin, can you please put the kitchen into the Microwave"

- I really wanted him to put the food that I had laying out in the kitchen, into the microwave..I missed a few steps in that sentence

"Can you please pass me the potato"

- I confused a potato, for a t.v remote- It's a common problem, I'm sure everyone does it. Or not.

"Could you please put the cat in the dishwasher"

- Meaning, could you please get the cat away from the dishwasher, and put the dishes into it. If I said this to someone, who didn't understand "Lindsay Language" I could only imagine what they would think of me.

Or Maybe this one

Lindsay: "Could you bring me that thing a ma bob"
Justin: "This?"
Lindsay: "Nooooo...it's next to that thing a maginer..you know that one!! It makes the Grrrrrrrr noise when it cooks things"
Justin: "You mean next to the microwave?"
Lindsay: "Exactly, now bring it to me"
Justin: "I still don't know what you want"
Lindsay: Standing up---> Pointing.....
Justin: "Oh you want your cell phone?"
Lindsay: "mmm hmmm"

Seriously, this is what the majority of our converstations sound like....I will bring you back to this post.... It happens all of the time!!!

Sometimes it's annoying, but usually it's pretty funny!!

It has taken Justin, a long time to figure out my language!!!

Oh. P.S

I also say words weird..apparently.

Crayon= Cran
Again= Agaaan
Wind Mill= Wind Meal
Toronto = Terontoe

(If I talk to you in person, and I say any other words weird..let me know :)

I Know I Didn't Pee my Pants......

2010-07-16T09:17:00.004-04:00

**

Yesterday, all I could smell was pee.

Yes. Pee. Specifically, Cat Pee...It has a very distinct odour!

I was at work, there are no cats in the office(that I know of). So it had to be something in my office that smelled so terrible. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find anything! I brought my co-workers into my office to see if they could smell anything. I smelled my under arms, maybe some how my sweat smells like cat pee, I smelled my pants...maybe they were left in the washer too long...nope not either of those things.

Now, I have safety boots sitting in my office, that I use to walk through the plant when need to. I work at a meat processing plant, so neeedless to say my boots have walked through a lot of blood and guts..and still have some blood left on them (Gross, I know. Trust me..it's not pleasant) But, they didn't smell like cat pee, but they did smell terrible (note to self: Take them home to wash blood off).

I sat around the entire day getting really angry that I couldn't figure out what smelled like pee!! I wasn't me, I know I didn't pee my pants... No one else in the office smelled it, only me. I was beginning to think I was crazy, but then I went to the washroom. I looked in the mirror, and saw a y.e.l.l.o.w stain on my white shirt!!! It was ME! I DID smell like pee!! I had half an hour left in the day, and all I wanted to do was take my shirt off so I didn't smell like pee anymore!!!! I don't know where it came from, I don't think my cats peed upwards onto my hanging clothes..but who knows, it could happen.

I can't believe I walked around in a shirt all day long that was covered in cat pee!!!!
Only me, this could only happen to me!!

Do I Have to Make the Bed?

2010-07-12T17:37:00.000-04:00

I sound like my 11 year old bratty self when I ask this question. But really, do I have to make the Bed? What's the point!? It is just going to look like that in another couple of hours anyways. It's not like anyone is coming over to my house to inspect it..and if they do I can make the bed really quickly (or possibly yell at them for judging me on my bed making habits!!). It's not like I look at it and go..."Wow Lindsay, that is a really nicely bed you just made!!!!". Nope, I don't do that..what I do is this: (struggle to find bed in dark) "Bed, Need sleep...ugh why are these blankets all tucked in...." (Yank Yank Yank, Roll self in sausage of blankets) "....that's better"

But Today...Today was the day I learnt why it is important to make the bed.

If the bed is made, the blankets can not trip you!

Yes, that's right. The blankets will trip you. They are nasty little things. They creep off the side of the bed, and just as you are rushing to get ready in the morning...it tangles itself around your foot and trips you. Oh..not only do you just trip but you knock yourself to the floor. Well, there is a detour to the floor..first the blanket trips you, then you fall into the laundry hamper and knock it over, and that is when you fall to the floor.

Lesson: I will now ~~try to~~ make the bed every day!

Awkward....

2010-07-09T14:32:00.000-04:00

I never have been good at awkward situations. Ever. If you go back to this post , or maybe even this one, oh..why not go back to this REALLY ackward moment as well....You would know by now that I do not handle these situations very well...at all!

Yesterday, topped them all off! I'm in Human Resources. It's my job to interview, and hire individuals.  Since April I have been interviewing a whole slew of them and just hired the majority. I remember interviewing this one student, he was one year younger that I am and he seemed really interested in E.V.E.R.Y little thing that I said. I just racked it up to him being really excited about the position, and getting a summer job. I toured him around the plant, made sure he would be comfortable with the job, and I hired him.

Three weeks ago, he started.  I haven't seen, nor talked to him since.

On Wednesday he came in looking for a parking pass. I got him to fill out the proper information, and told him to come back tomorrow to pick it up. He seemed really interested again, on everything that I had to say. He started asking about my schooling, if I liked my job, if I saw myself doing this job for awhile. I'm a really friendly person, and am totally clueless so I just answered the questions as quickly and as nicely as I could so I could get back to my work.

Yesterday, he called me and told me he was in the front lobby. So, I went up and figured I would just give him his parking pass there. I started explaining to him where to place the sticker, what would happen if he lost it, and so on. There was a salesman in there looking to speak with someone, who I knew wasn't in the office, so I told him I would get the information to them. He started getting the pamphlets out while I continued to assistant the student.

After I finished giving my talk to the student he asks:

" So, Um...would you like to go get dinner sometime"

I panic, I didn't see this one coming. I'm not good at random moments that I can't prepare myself for. I'm not good at awkward, and I honestly haven't really been asked on too many dates. I have had no practise.  What do I say? What do I say in the position that I am in......a person that hired this student!!!!

I can feel my face go bright red. Literally, I think I stood there for a good 10 seconds before I said anything. I know that I am terrible at hiding my reactions. You can just look at my face and know exactly how I am feeling. Right after he said it, he probably knew what I was going to say. I could even feel my eye brows furrow and my lips persed together off to one side, but I couldn't stop them.

My Answer:

"Oh, um...well uh....I don't really think that would be appropriate in my position. ( ~~And my boyfriend might kick your ass)~~ " .I think my answer came out all within one second.

After I gave my response, he turned around like I broke his heart and said "Oh, well then...okay"

Please keep in mind that the salesman gathering the papers for me was still sitting in the lobby ....listening to this entire awkard moment!!!!

After the boy leaves, the Salesman asks: "Um...did he just ask you out on a date"
          My Response: "Yup, I'm pretty sure that's what just happened.     That was awkward"

and then the salesman started laughing...and couldn't stop. He said that I looked like I was in shear panic...deer in headlights kind of look..he said it was the most awkward moment he has ever been witnessed to. He was laughing so hard that he almost started crying!!!!

My face, turns red again.   I HATE awkward moments. Why me...why does this always have to happen!!!!! If I knew it was going to happen, I could have come up with some super duper awesome answer..and I wouldn't have looked so awful (to the student) and entertaining (to the salesman)!!!

I walked back to my office (Laughing at myself, and hoping to hell that it never happens again), and told my co-workers who laughed and exclaimed that "Only you would have a situation like that" The one came back today and even said..."I was lying in bed last night, and remembered what happend to you and started laughing out loud again"

I called my mom and she also laughed so hard. She knows me well, and said she couldn't only imagine what look was on my face right after he said it.

To Justin: Please, PLEASE....... put a ring on it. Then I can avoid these situations by quickly flashing a ring at them. I don't need to get married, really it's ok...no pressure. I just want something that I can do to quickly make them go away. Even just make me a ring...do something so this never happens again!!!!

Even at the bars, when a guy starts dancing with me (or trying to hump my leg...boys can't dance..end of story)...I just look at my friends with a "dear in headlights" look and don't know what to do.

If only there was a way I could watch my self from the outside. I'm sure that I could make myself laugh for days. Wait..I already do that. I think I do atleast 20 something odd things every day that makes me laugh out loud.   They say laughing is good for the soul...well with myself around....myself...24/7.....I should be a really healthy person!!!

Google..You Make Me Laugh!!!

2010-07-09T09:50:00.000-04:00

So, I recently went to google a question. I put in "Why" and all of a sudden google came up with things that people have searched for, thinking that maybe I wanted to ask these questions as well.... These are the results:

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
Why is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?
Why are Canadians Afraid of the Dark?
Why did I get Married too?
Why is the Sky Blue?
Why is my Poop Green?
Why are the Montreal Canadians Called the Habs?
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why do we Dream?
Why do Girls Wear Thongs?

I tried to answer these questions:

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Really... Why Can't I own a Canadian, I really would like to know? They are so cute, and nice... I want to carry one around in my purse!

Why is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

I didn't know that a Raven was like a writing desk at all. A Raven is a bird. A big black..scary bird to be exact. And a desk..well...is a desk. It's a big chunk of wood that people write on...I write on a desk, I don't write on a bird. Or at least I hope I wouldn't write on a bird. Not at all like eacother. Why would one ask such a question?

Why are Canadians Afraid of the Dark?

Oh, I didn't know that I was afraid of the dark. Well, okay...maybe I am a little. You know.. when the lights go out and you panic and you automatically sit on the ground until the lights go back on ? And then the lights do go back on and your boyfriend sees you sitting on the ground..and looks at you in a confused sort of way... Oh...you don't do that? Well maybe the question should be "Why is Lindsay Afraid of the Dark?"

Why did I get Married too?

If you are questioning this...why did you get married in the first place?

Why is the Sky Blue?

Because I said so.

Why is my Poop Green?

You ate an entire jumbo box of green gushers by yourself....it's all I can equal it. It happens, trust me.

Why are the Montreal Canadians Called the Habs?

I have .no. idea! It was probably me that googled this question.

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Because it wanted to? Do I ask why...YOU cross the road? No, so why must you pick on the chicken? Let it do it's thing!

Why do we Dream?

Because sleep is boring, dreams are like watching movies in our heads..it's more exciting!

Why do Girls Wear Thongs?

Ugh, I have no idea why we do it. Is it to impress guys, so they can't see our underwear lines? Because honestly, I don't think thongs are sexy. They are uncomforatable, and they are scary. Plus, if it is guys asking this question because I don't think us girls would google it...then they find it as equally confusing as I do. Therefore I am on strike from ever wearing these peices of strings agan. Hello Underwear lines...goodbye thongs :)

So I started googling other words like "why Does, Where is, How Come...etc). I have picked some of my results to share with you.

Why does my Belly Button Smell?
Why does my Mom Turn me On?
Why does my Dog Eat Poop?
Where is Chuck Norris?
Where is my Mind?
Where is Sandra Bullock?
Where is Santa Clause Right Now?
Where do Babies Come From?
Where do Polar Bears live
Where does all of my Money go?
Where does Snot come from?
How to Make it in America?
How do you Make Out?
How do you Know Your in Love?
How do you Get pink eye?
Who is Chuck Norris?
Who does Archie Marry?
Who Does she Think She is?
What Are these Strawberries Doing?
What are these bumps on my Nipples
What are Dreams?
What are Hemroids?

Haha....I love that people actually google these things.

When Break-Ups Happen

2010-07-08T13:55:00.000-04:00

What do you do when friends of yours break up? Especially when your boyfriend is best friends with one of them, and you have become really good friends with the other? This has happened to me twice.

First: Justin's best friend began dating a girl right before Justin and I started dating. I quickly became friends with her as we both were in a lot of the same classes in high school and we would always go on double dates together.

After, I believe, three years together they split. It was really hard for us because we always would go to Toronto, or to movies, or out to dinner with them..and all of a sudden we couldn't do that anymore. Both were talking "Smack" about the other to each of us. Justin had been friends with the guy for a very long time, so ultimately he chose him. I talked to the girl for a little bit, but it became too hard. Was it right to choose one over the other? It was going to be awkward for me to speak with the girl, when Justin would always choose his Best Friend over anything. We still continued going out with his Best Friend, as we always had, and he would go out with just him, but it was still really weird for us. (Now he has a new girlfriend, and I don't know how I feel about her)

After they broke up, I remember both of us questioning our relationship. They seemed like they were so in love, and they were going out longer then us...will this happen to us? Obviously it didn't, but it was really weird for us for about a month afterwards.

Second: Recently, another Friend of Justin's and his fiance split. We again, always went on dates together, and spend time at each others houses. I again, became good friends with this girl, but now I don't know what to do. I don't want to stop being her friend, and even though she lives 2.5 hours away I still want to see her when we visit that area. I am also really good friends with the guy. He is planning on a visit to come see us, with a new girlfriend. How do I handle this? I feel like I am cheating on one friend with the other. What do I do in this situation???

* I am also really bad for not staying in contact with people, and don't put a lot of effort into remaining friends with someone. It's terrible of me, but I see myself just kind of doing what I did last time, and just hanging out with Justin's friends and making new friends with the girlfriends....I feel like a horrible person for this *

I vote, that none of my friends break up again!! Then I don't have to go through this.

It Happened...He Killed IT!!!

2010-07-08T11:10:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, he did it. He killed an animal!!! He ran it over with his truck!!! It wasn't just any animal.....it was a squirrel!!! AND it was all my fault! I seen it cross the road, and I yelled "SQUIRREL, GET IT!!! I hate you squirrel!!!" I didn't really mean for him to actually "Get it" but then I felt the bump.

You would think, that because I hate squirrels, and am scared of them...that I would be happy that there was one less in the world to scare me.

But I wasn't...

I looked at him in panic, and in confusion. WHY DID YOU HIT THE SQUIRREL?!?!?!
*He didn't see the squirrel, and didn't know what I was talking about until he actually ran it over*

Then I cried.

I cried for the poor little squirrel that got hit by our truck. What if it was still alive, and suffering. I wanted to turn around and pick it up and bring it to the hospital and save it!!!

I'm such a sap!

I still hate squirrels, but I Never EVER Want to Run Over another One Again!!!!

The Things I Fear the Most...

2010-06-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, so after reading yesterday's blog, one may come to the conclusion that I am a little weird. Which I'm not going to deny, really, who is afraid of squirrels? It's called Sciurophobia, and I have it. I'm not deathly afraid of them, not to the point where I won't leave the house. But, I will avoid a sidewalk because of them, ~~walk~~ ...run away from them, I will throw sticks at them to get them to go away, and I will squirm when I see one. My heart starts racing, my palms get a little sweaty....

The picture I posted in my last post...you know...this one?

Well this is how I view all squirrels.

Big honking teeth, and screaming at me. Yes, squirrels scream. If you have never had the pleassure of hearing it, I hope you never do. It's absolutley terrifying. I haven't always feared squirrels, but when I was probably 7/8 years old I got bit by one. Now, it was my fault...I was pretending my thumb was a peanut, but still the point is that it bit me...and then it screamed at me (it's a high pitched noise). Ever since then, I have had this fear.

I am also afraid of heights, even driving over a tall bridge induces a panic attack...

I'm okay with spiders, and snakes. I'd rather not see one or touch one..but I will stomp on a spider if I see it.

Ok...another weird fear (well maybe not a fear but it really grosses me out). I hate ants. One ant is fine, or maybe even two. But a whole pack of them, where it's just a moving black patch with hundreds of ants is disgusting!!

What are your fears?