One Perspective One Blog

The Cure For Worry

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:06:00 +0000

I am a recovering worry-aholic but I have found the cure.

Every time you are in the throws of uncertainty you start to worry. People try to help you by telling you not to worry. Which at that moment, is probably the hardest if not the most impossible thing for you to do.

With the uncertain times happening in our economy and the drama that is on the news every night it is hard not to worry. None of us know what the outcome will be and jobs, investments, and the comforts of life are all at risk.

People say, "try not to think about it" or "stay busy." While these are good tactics they are only temporary because the worry has a way of creeping back in to your thoughts. You can only stay so busy for so long and trying not to think about it means you have to think about something else which if you could do that you wouldn't be worrying in the first place.

Is there a cure for worry? A 12 Step program? A quick-fix pill? Does it take hyponotism or therapy? No, not for me. It was simple and it was right in front of me the whole time.

Let Go - Give up Control.

It was brought to my attention recently that I wasn't in control and never had been. The tighter I tried to control things the more stressed I became. Once I fully understood that the person really in control was more experienced, in the know about what going on, and had my best interest at heart it was easy for me to let go and trust Him.

I still have my moments but they are short-lived now that I know what what I need to do. By trusting and letting go of the control I can live with uncertainty without the fear and without the paralyzing physical effects worry can bring. Now I have peace and confidence that things will be just fine no matter what.

If you need to know this worry-free helper He is easy to find. Just close your eyes and pray and He will be there. God is the worry warrior. Let Him fight the battle for you. After all, He already knows the game plan and has a perfect record.

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? [7] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6:25

Not a Fan of Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:12:00 +0000

I don't like Halloween.

My mom wasn't a big fan either which may have had some influence on my lack of affinity for it. Now that I am all grown up, I can honestly say I don't like it. Part of my dislike comes from the idea that Halloween glamorizes evil things but there is one thing that bothers me more. It really creeps me out when people dress up and pretend to me something they are not. Actors do this all the time but it doesn't bother me because I know they are pretending. I go to the theater expecting to see people portray characters and they are on a far away stage or movie screen. With Halloween, people are dressed up and standing or sitting right in front of me. I don't know if they are pretending to be someone else or if this is who they really are and this is their moment to break loose. I find this unsettling.

It seems like Halloween gives people permission to break the rules of appearances and behavior and I am forced to accept it. I went to a public building yesterday where any other day I know I would have found professionals happily doing their job. But on October 31st they came to work dressed as a cheerleader, Elf, Graduate, Golfer, Punk Rocker, African Royalty, a Sheik, and a few others that I had no idea what they were trying to look like. It just didn't fit. These people looked ridiculous. It is one thing to go out at night and join in the Halloween tradition of treat-or-treating or attend a Halloween costume party but at work... there is no reason for it.

I am all about having fun at work or going to a party with friends but Halloween isn't one of those times where you will see me going all out. Talk to me about Christmas or the 4th of July! Those are my holidays no special clothing required!

Better to be Safe or Generous?

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 02:56:00 +0000

Better to be Safe or Generous?

I was driving around town today and found myself being propositioned for money by two very different types of people at two different stop lights. The two people were in the median of a busy intersection asking drivers for money.

One person was an older man, with dirty skin, long hair, and something wasn't quite right with his eyes. He was holding a sign written on cardboard asking for help.

At a different light about 10 miles away, I found a middle-aged woman holding a white bucket with a sign on it referencing a local church and asking for donations.

Both people were aggressively weaving between waiting cars and really working the crowd. I have seen this kind of thing a lot lately around town. Especially the men with the cardboard signs.

I was always told not to acknowledge or communicate with a homeless person for safety reasons. I was also told that the chances of a homeless person having an addiction or mental problem were really high. It was suggested that that if I really wanted to help them that you were suppose to give them food rather than money. This way they won't use the money to buy more alcohol or drugs and will benefit by having a good meal.

As far as the woman representing the church, her cause seemed noble but I couldn't help but wonder why this was necessary and if standing in the middle of the street was really the best way to go about raising money. I even wondered if she was really representing the cause she said she was or if she was just using that as a front for personal gain. It seemed strange that there were only two people with buckets at this big intersection. If it was such a big fund raiser, where were the other members of the church? I would rather give money directly to the church or organization to make sure the funds get to where they are suppose to go. Not to mention how dangerous it is to be stepping in and out of traffic!

What I found really surprising today, was the amount of people rolling down their car windows and donating! At the light with the man the car in front of me emptied his car of change right in the man's hands. At the light with the woman, the car in front of me gave her a stash of bills--maybe $5.

This got me thinking... was I being stingy with my money or just safe? Am I a tight-wad or just a smart citizen? What are your thoughts?

Is it Still Cool?

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 22:14:00 +0000

Is riding around playing loud music from your car still considered cool or am I just getting old?

I was listening to the latest CD from TobyMac (a contemporary Christian music guy). He has a great sound and a great message to share. The best part is you can actually understand his lyrics! His music is so energizing and it really gets you going. Why do you instantly feel the need to turn it up?

When they started putting radios in cars I can imagine this was the thing to do to show off your new gadget. Now, everyone has a radio, CD player and MP3 connection in the car so why do we still need to crank it up? Is it about the music? Is it about a need to feel the beat in your body from the bass? Is it to get attention or a way to share with others what you are in to?

When I am driving and I hear people blasting their music I always have thoughts about how silly and immature those people are yet today I found myself among them. It is no secret how bad prolonged exposure to high volumes are for your hearing and I certainly don't advocate doing this often.

Nothing is wrong with appreciating a good song or wanting to share it. Maybe the instinct to play it loud is just a way to tell everyone driving around you, "You can be cool at any age and there is nothing like a good song--check this one out!"

Daytime TV - What is it good for?

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 02:27:00 +0000

I had an extra day off this week and was able to catch some oldie-but-goodie reruns. A few episodes of the Andy Griffith Show, the Cosby Show, Little House on the Prairie and Home Improvement. What happened to these kind of shows? They all had such good messages for the whole family and they each had strong dad characters. Watching these shows is like putting on your favorite robe and slippers and eating apple pie.

Now we watch reality show dads and dysfunctional family chaos and call that entertainment. Or during the day it is soaps and talk shows that all portray dysfunctional relationships and glamorise lifestyles that are unhealthy and leave everyone unhappy.

Is this really how the world is today? Are the days of story-lined family lessons and after-school specials gone forever? Are they not interesting anymore? Is the norm the abnormal? Why do we all get so sucked in to the rubber-necking happening on TV?

I think I will stick to my old shows. It does make me wonder what the re-runs of the future will be like. Will reality show reruns be as interesting to people as they are now or will we still be watching Andy Griffith and Bill Cosby?

Surprise!

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:30:00 +0000

Since the recent announcement of the Republican Vice President pick I got to thinking... when was the last time I was surprised? I can't remember the last time I experienced a genuine - I had no idea moment. Not that this is a bad thing. Part of me likes to be surprised but there is a strong part of me that likes things to be predictable or expected. But for a moment last night I was amazed and delighted about the fact that something was fresh and new on the news. It was actually interesting.

Between the news shows over reporting and gossip magazines being super nosey, most public figure behavior is rarely a surprise. People are hounded by these types of media who try and piece together a story. We hear about small pieces of information along the way and then at some point the whole story comes out to no one's surprise. There has been so much speculation about the VP picks. News shows have analyzed things so much that they seem to think they had figured everything out.

So imagine my surprise when all of the news networks had no idea that Governor Sarah Palin was the VP pick. It was sort of fun. I had forgotten what is was like to hear something for the first time and think to myself, Wow! I had no idea.

In all our fascination with knowing every intricate detail of a public figures' lives have we been missing out on the simple joy of being surprised?

Listen to Mom when it comes to voting...

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:48:00 +0000

Words of wisdom from my mom... "I was at the clubhouse yesterday picking up the mail when a neighbor volunteered that he wasn't voting. I have learned NEVER to encourage people to vote. He said both of the candidates were awful and that he really wanted to vote for Hillary..."

I am not a big fan of either presidential candidate this year but the thought of not voting never crossed my mind. There was too much effort put into my right to be able to vote to even consider not doing it. One of the main reasons I will be voting is out of respect for those who fought for this right. That being said, it would be irresponsible to just show up and fill in the bubbles without thought just because I can. Just as important of the act of voting itself is making sure you are educated on the issues and the candidates.

Even though you don't like any of the candidates they are our choices-they are it! Figure out which one most represents your views and concerns because they are all we have whether you like them or not. Placing a vote in an election means you care deeply about our country and if you can't determine which candidate would most represent your views or concerns then you shouldn't place a vote. It would be just as disrespectful, irresponsible, and unpatriotic to show up and place a vote without some level of conviction, as not voting at all.

So the next time you here someone say they are not going to vote, don't encourage them to vote, encourage them to get educated and take full responsibility for their right to vote.

John McCain

Barack Obama

Can Excellence Be Taught?

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 20:39:00 +0000

I had the opportunity to spend some time with my nephew this past week. We were doing chores at my house.

I don't think cleaning house is anyone's favorite activity but it is always better when you have help. When your 6 years old, it is only fun if it is a game or if you get to use the cool tools and gadgets. We started pretty well when we got out the attachments out for the vacuum. That lasted about 10 minutes before he got bored and wanted to watch TV. I ended up finishing the job and pushing him to finish all the other assignments he was given. I wasn't really expecting a significant amount of work to get done but I was surprised by his behavior.

At work, we all have to do things we don't like to do from time to time. We have all been in those situations where we were so excited to take on a project and then realized half way in to it that it wasn't exactly what you thought it would be. When this happens at work though... you just do it. You push through and complete the task. If your boss asks you to do something, you do it and you do it to the best of your ability.

This got me thinking... how do you teach people to do the best they can with everything they do? There are sure plenty of people out there who didn't get this lesson growing up and once they reach adulthood is it too late? I have worked with a few people in the past who were content with average or the minimum. As a leader, can you develop the habit of excellence in an adult?

As an Aunt, how much do you push a lesson of excellence with kids? I shared this story with someone else and they said, "he is only 6, what do you expect?" I understand that he is still very young, but don't you have to start developing this type of attitude from the very beginning? How do you instill excellence in children so they grow up wanting to work hard and putting their best effort towards everything?

Are they learning the right lesson if you keep making them do the job over until it is done right? How do you develop the habit of excellence in kids without coming across as a control freak or leaving with them with feelings inadequacy? How do you keep from becoming that parent the child describes in therapy as an adult as, "no matter what I did it was never good enough for them?" How can you correct the child in a way that they will want to do their best not because of a fear of getting in trouble with the parent but because it is the right thing to do?

My Favorite Holiday!

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:11:00 +0000

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday.

It has been since I was a kid. There is something about a good barbecue, parades, sparklers, hearing John Philip Sousa marches, and fireworks that I really enjoy. It is nostalgic, patriotic, and all-American. It is one of the holidays that all American's can celebrate together. Everyone can enjoy and appreciate this day because it isn't directly associated with a religious day, someone's birthday, or a made up day with Hallmark's support. It is something only celebrated by Americans for America.

New Year's Eve is also a holiday that everyone can celebrate but it really isn't as exciting in my opinion. We are acknowledging another year, getting older, and remembering that we are not achieving things in life that we wanted to achieve. No wonder everyone drinks too much! Plus it is always too cold to really have a good time. Even Labor Day is to celebrate the working man. We are all grateful to be able to make a living but celebrating working with a day off seems odd to me.

The 4th of July is the best holiday. One thing that strikes me is that we commonly call it the 4th of July. It makes it sound like we just picked a date in July to throw an annual summer party. It is Independence Day. For those who need a little history lesson... it is a celebration to acknowledge the day that our country proclaimed its independence from Great Britain, July 4, 1776. This year we are celebrating our 232 year of independence.

We have all heard the first part of the declaration, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Who doesn't love that part? It sounds so good and makes you feel strong and proud to be an American.

But if you keep reading the document it gives a detailed list of why we are proclaiming our independence. It explains all the things that the King was doing to the people in the colonies and to the government that had been established. I think we all remember the Tea Party protest about taxes and the original desire to have freedom of religion. But when I was reading this list of reasons there was one that stood out to me, "He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people." It is hard to imagine this happening on our soil by another country. People's lives being ruined by another country is difficult to even grasp. We have had it good for a long time.

When the 9-11 attacks happened it sure was a wake-up call on how different our world is from other countries without freedom. Not all American's get along, believe in the same things, or have the same values, but we make it work somehow. We exist in the same places, go to work or school everyday, and for the most part function peacefully as individuals despite our differences.

Independence Day is something that all Americans can celebrate together-that in itself, is worth celebrating! It is a time for all of us to appreciate what we have, what it took to get it, and what it takes to maintain it.

Happy Independence Day!

Share the Love - Moments of Appreciation

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:22:00 +0000

I believe all thanks go to God for blessing me with the ability to earn a living and afford to buy things that help me live a comfortable life. I thank God for the people He has put around me to shape me, challenge me, help me, support me, and love me. It has recently come to my attention that I am thankful for a lot of things.

Do you ever have a moment when something that you have taken for granted for a long time is suddenly thrown at the forefront of your life? It may be a moment of misery that causes you to remember how great life is or was, but none the less you become very grateful for the things in your life. These precious moments put your priorities in clear focus and cause you to reflect on how good life is.

Here are some things that I am very appreciative of:

- Being raised by two parents in the mid-west
- Parents who attend the ballgames of their kids even though they are not that good just to cheer them on and hopefully see them do something good
- Friends who support you when you need advice or encouragement
- Moms and Grandmas with sewing abilities
- Air conditioning and Air Conditioning repair people
- Electricity and Power Company repair people
- Computers and the Internet & Facebook
- People who voluntarily serve our country in the military
- Military families that sacrifice time with their loved ones so they can protect the rest of us
- Being able to travel places quicker in a car
- Working with a good leader
- Having trusting people to delegate important work to
- Working with people that make you laugh
- People who have the ability to fix things around the house
- People who know how to play a musical instrument (especially the trumpet!)
- Smooth whole grain bread without all the flaky, nutty, grainy texture
- The minute clinic that is open on Saturdays
- When men open doors or pull out chairs for women
- People who say please and thank you--especially children!
- Washing Machines
- State Troopers who keep our roads safe and are respectful to you when they pull you over
- State Troopers who give warnings even when you really deserved a ticket
- State Troopers who have a sense of humor and can appreciate being late for church
- Mom's who help their grown children with laundry and ironing
- People who take vacations at Disney
- Libraries
- Wi-fi
- Cold water
- Hot water
- Television, DVRs and shows that are not stupid
- Sisters who do your laundry when they visit your house when you are not home
- Dad's who go on school field trips and volunteer at school
- Teachers that allowed students with summer birthdays to celebrate with the class during the school year
- The Bible
- Pastors who know their stuff, have a solid character, are great communicators, and just love people
- People who compose music (seriously... how do they do that?)
- How kids learn to communicate and speak
- Funny and innocent things that kids say
- Antibiotics, antihistamines, ibuprofen
- Pizza and ice cream
- Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies.. okay who am I kidding - ALL cookies without nuts or coconut!
- Substituting applesauce for oil when baking
- Healthy muscles and bones in your feet, back, and neck
- Breathing easily and without complication
- People who quit smoking
- Coaches that care about their players on and off the field/court
- Coaches that teach character, values, and responsibility in addition the the skills of the sport
- Dr. Oz
- People who follow the rules
- People who don't follow stupid rules
- Mom's who try to do it all
- Sesame Street, The Muppets, Little House on the Prairie, and The Facts of Life
- Waiting to see and the timing of a sunset
- College professors who grade the content of your papers and give constructive feedback to make you think rather than grade you on your ability to cite references and follow APA formatting
- People who let you go ahead of them at the grocery store when you only have a few items
- Playing sports as a kid for fun and staying in shape as an adult to stay healthy
- Dad's that buy surprises for the whole family at Christmas without consulting mom
- Aunts that spoiled you with attention when you were little

I am sure I could keep going for days. What are you appreciative of?

Tee Ball is the worst sport ever!

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:49:00 +0000

It has been a few weeks since Tee Ball started for my 5 year old nephew. It has been fun to see him play the sport and interact with the other kids. However, each time I go see a game I can't help but feel like something just isn't right.

I know this is most kids first experience at playing baseball but playing any sport, no matter what level, isn't just about learning the skills for the sport. Playing sports is about learning life lessons. In my opinion, Tee Ball in its attempt to be fair and introductory for kids, is teaching them life lessons that will set them up for frustration and disappointment for the rest of their life.

Imagine going to work and having everyone in your department make the same money, work the same hours, and have the same workload. Where everyone has to take turns doing special projects and when someone makes a mistake that may cost the company large amounts of money are told, "nice try." Imagine a work environment where no one gets fired for attendance issues, poor performance, or for cheating or lying. Sounds fair on the surface but what about the long term consequences. We all have that one person who doesn't pull their weight at work or is just a bad worker. What if they are rewarded the exact same way you are? Is that fair?

If there are no consequences for our actions what incentive is there for

achievement? How can we learn how to cope with failure? In Tee Ball the rules are that everyone bats, no one gets out, and no one keeps score. It makes it fair and lets everyone play but at what age is it appropriate to introduce the real life rules of baseball? Do you wait until they are age 6, 7, or 8? Do you wait until they get more experience in school with bullies, grades, or games at recess? When do you burst the child's bubble that people get out, strike out, or sit on the bench when they don't perform well? Don't we learn more about ourselves and others when we fail?

By not introducing the real rules at the start are we making kids more susceptible to developing unrealistic expectations later in life? These are the kids that expect to get something for nothing. The kids that grow up thinking they are the victim all the time. These are the people we work with that think that no one understands them or recognizes how talented they are when we know they are just average. Or worse, these are the kids that give up on sports very young because they think they are failures the first time a coach tries to correct them. These are the kids that become an overweight statistic or frustrated worker because of an overinflated self-image that is continually challenged by an authority figure.

This past week I witnessed a kid walk to first base after he hit the ball. Kids will be kids and I realize they are still learning the game, but there was no consequence. No one said, "little Johnny you need to run hard to first base when you hit the ball so you don't get out." For little Johnny there is no incentive to run fast because no matter what he does he will be safe and get to run around the bases with the next three batters. Johnny had no reason to try his best.

At what point in our life is it not okay to walk to first base? Shouldn't we be taught from the very beginning to always do our best? For a child who may not understand striving to do your best out of moral conviction, shouldn't we insert consequences into their lives so there is at least the possibility to do something great or missing out on something? It will give them a reason to apply themselves and achieve something. It will naturally make them want to do their best and allow them to learn gradually what happens when life isn't fair.

I Don't Like to Shop!

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 10 May 2008 01:40:00 +0000

I think I might be in the minority for my gender but I don't like to shop.

Some people use shopping as a form of entertainment. "Let's go to the movies or go shopping..." Some people go shopping just to look at is new or whether something they like is on sale. Others see shopping as a chore or even a form of torture. These are the long faces that you see sitting on a bench in the middle of the mall outside of the department store.

I believe that most people like to getting new things so what makes some people love it and others hate it? It is something we all have to do at one point or another. It has taken a while but I think I have figured out why I don't like to shop. What surprised me the most was it isn't the typical issues with price, self-image, or weight. I have boiled it down to three things: time, organization, and personal style.

What I like about shopping:

I like to get new stuff.

I love it when I get something I really liked or wanted on sale.

I love when there are plenty of my size to choose from on the rack or shelf.

Walking in the store picking out what I want, buying it and leaving within 15 minutes.

Shopping online, reading reviews, researching the best price, using promotional codes, getting boxes delivered to the house.

What I don't like about shopping:

Searching through rack after rack of sale items that are in no particular order.

Taking my shoes on and off when trying clothes on that never seem to fit right.

Standing in line to try on clothes or to buy them.

Finding the perfect outfit and having it be the most expensive thing in the department.

Finding plenty of what I like but not in my size.

Continually trying on clothes than appear to made to fit a 16 year old without any figure.

Having too much to choose from or only really trendy or ugly stuff available.

So what do I do? My strategies:
Option#1: Only shop at stores that are incredibly organized and have a limited selection. I It might be a little more expensive but it is well worth in the end. Can you put a price tag on your time?

Option #2: Pick out a bunch of stuff, buy it, take it home and try it on at my leisure then return anything I don't want later. I might spend more time driving to and from the store and going through the exchange/refund process but it is less time overall.

Option #3: Hire or ask someone to shop for me. Could be very expensive but it could be very efficient. I just have to be sure I like their style and give them a strict budget to follow.

Option #4: Shop online! You can sort by size, colors, and style, in a matter of minutes and have it shipped to right to the front door. There are so many free-shipping offers out there that shipping costs is really not and issue.

When it comes to shopping my attitude is "... you can't take it with you." Why spend all that time just looking around when I could be doing something more important? I want new things and I want to look good but there has to be a way to get that without wasting so much time. My answer is shop where there is organization and where I like the designs and it will not take so much time. Just one perspective...

We All Start Somewhere...

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Thu, 01 May 2008 01:05:00 +0000

I guess everyone forgets how it all starts. The wiggle, the scoot, the army crawl, the curiosity... See how my nephew Harrison is progressing.

Pursuing what is right

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:58:00 +0000

I had an experience this week that served as a great reminder of how easy it is for people to get wrapped up in the pursuit of something for the wrong reasons.

I think I am a fighter or at least put forth valiant effort in situations where I want something bad enough. I have even been known to achieve things, with a certain amount of success, just because someone told me I couldn't do something. It seems however, that the longer the pursuit for what you want the more frustration you can experience if you are doing it for the wrong reason. If I want something bad enough I will hang in there and keep pressing forward. Every once in a while there will be a definitive halt to the pursuit of what I want. The decision maker says "no" or the circumstance needed to get want I want are just not possible. In these situations I tend to accept things as they are and either move on or regroup to find another way to approach the situation later. It doesn't feel good to give up but it is a release for my conscience and it allows me to focus on the next thing.

But what happens when you don't give up?

I came across a person this week who would not accept "no" as the final answer and was willing to take extravagant steps in order to continue the pursuit of what they wanted. While on the surface this seems heroic. This person could be called persistent, dedicated, or courageous. This kind of effort is how people overcome illnesses, achieve remarkable feats, or win important competitions. America has a long history of people who didn't give up and went on to become important examples of how to pursue your hearts desires.

What if the pursuit isn't for health, achieving impossible dreams, or beating incredible odds? What if the pursuit is based on just the success of the pursuit? Your ability to get what you want is the only reward. Is it still noble and worthy? My answer--no... The line between taking right and wrong actions becomes very thin when the outcome you are pursuing is not a worthy cause. Getting what you want just because you can get it is not a noble cause.

Not Giving Up + The Pursuit of a less than noble cause = Dishonesty and Greed

Based on my experience this week, I feel like I have to re-evaluate all of the motivations behind my goals and the things I am trying to achieve. I witnessed how easy it was for someone to want something so bad that they lost sight of what was right and wrong because of the formula mentioned above. The value of the item they wanted was less than $10 and they simply did not qualify to receive it. In turn, they invested hours and hours into finding a way to get what they wanted because they just wanted it. The result of this pursuit: lying, asking others to breech confidentiality, providing false information, and eventually the receipt of the item they were pursuing. They got what they wanted and probably slept well that night but I wonder exactly what feelings they experienced when it was all over. Was it a sense of accomplishment? Were they truly happy? Did they really feel good telling everyone about their achievement? How long did the positive emotions last?

Imagine what could have been done if that time had been invested into something noble. I would like to encourage everyone to look at your own life and make sure that you have your heart in the right place when you are pursuing the things that you want the most. Don't pursue things just because. Make sure they are noble and worthy.

Ask yourself:
Will it make your parents proud? Will it make you a better person or help someone else in a way that they couldn't help themselves? At the end of day, will it be something that sits in your closet or on a shelf? Will it wear out or goes out of style? Or will it be life changing, make a difference, or be considered a priceless gift?

What are you watching?

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:32:00 +0000

I have just about given up watching the news on TV.

I don't know if I have just become more aware, if I grew up watching a different type of news, or if the news has changed. The news has become a drama show. Each time I watch I find myself getting sucked into a hardship story, a crime case, or a clinging to a teaser that makes me want to stay tuned until the next commercial is over. Once I realize what has happened, I feel like I have been taken advantage of by the news people. How can I fall for that old trick again?

I know better. I have worked with members of the media on several occasions covering press events. I have stood right next to the reporter as they interviewed someone and saw first hand what information was exchanged. Then hours later, I have watched the editing happen and somehow the story evolves into something where I wonder if I missed a part of the event. The edited version is more exciting and more interesting than anything I saw happen. This type of editing in the news is a top story or headline and it is portrayed as non-fiction or reality. On TV or in the movies this editing is hailed as creative storytelling and is openly portrayed as fiction or fantasy.

I think most people would agree that reporters and TV stations create their own drama to get higher ratings or to show off their TV personalities. We all know what they are trying to do but we keep watching anyway. It makes me wonder what role you and I play in this process. We are the people who buy the gossip magazines and who tune in to watch celebrities go to rehab or get arrested. Why do we enjoy seeing people fail and view it as entertainment but when we watch people on the TV news we wrap ourselves into stories that are personal, dramatic, and full of condemnation and accusations. We watch the news stories and begin talking to the TV set with phrases like, "those poor people," or "that is just horrible," or "I can't believe anyone would do that."

We know better so why do we do it? What is it in us that has to see what happened on the side of the road that caused traffic to slow to a crawl? Do we really want to see what could be happening? We know it could be bad and possibly traumatic for us to see it. Yet, we stop and look as if not looking is beyond our control? Why do we watch when we know better.

So before I started this blog I was ready to say how bad the media was and how we should all just tune them out of our lives. I was ready to blame them for everything. As I began to write things out I have developed a different perspective. I realized that the media does have some responsibility for what they choose to show on TV and how it is portrayed but really they are just feeding off of us. We are causing the drama frenzy because we can't stop watching.

So what do we do?

Avoidance and/or re-direction is usually my first course of action. Probably the biggest thing we could do is to change our hearts. We need to think about people in bad situations as if they were a close relative. While we shouldn't condone bad behavior, we need to love them and hope they to improve if they have made a mistake. Seeing people we care about struggle with life might be dramatic but it certainly wouldn't be entertaining. This is the type of drama that if given the choice, we instinctively would not want to watch.

What are you watching?

Gift Giving Coaster

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 04:57:00 +0000

Happy New Year to all!

Do you ever have a moment when learn something new, learn everything you can about it, then you gather up enough confidence about the topic to tell someone else about it. The excitement in your voice and the spring in your step because you have this new nugget of knowledge. Just as you begin to tell someone about it they say something like, “Oh, right! I have been doing that for years…” Oh, the heartbreak!

It may take a good portion of the excitement out of your new discovery but you resolve to a feeling of being in-the-loop which is a good thing too.

Gift giving is a giant roller coaster ride of emotion. Everyone gets excited about receiving gifts-especially little kids. Most people experience pure joy when they give a gift that someone really likes, wants, or needs. The saying about it is better to give than receive holds true but getting to the wonderful feelings this moment provides is quite a long ride.

Here are just a few of the hills, valleys, twists, and turns of gift giving:
- The pressure to find the gift before the deadline.
- The angst in parting with your hard earned money to purchase the gift
(be honest you have this feeling)
- The frustration with the process of finding a gift: looking in store after store, the lines to
check out, finding parking, sitting in traffic, dealing with other rude customers, etc.
- The uncomfortablness that goes with the conversation about needing to return a gift you
purchased for someone else.
- The anxiety that goes with the decision to re-gift
- And the biggest stresser…waiting and watching for the moment when someone opens your
gift and gives you the confirming look of satisfaction.

No wonder it is better to give than receive… the sense of relief you get when the whole process it over gives you just as much joy and a sense of relaxation than the look of gratitude on someone’s face. Giving is a win-win for everyone once the event is over one way or another!

Selection Season - Tell 10 Friends!

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 04:55:00 +0000

What is it about Fall weather that makes you feel so good? The kind of weather that requires you wear jeans and a sweatshirt. Maybe it is because it reminds me of football, the beginning of the Christmas season, memories of going to Grandma’s house, or maybe it is just the fact that you are no longer limited to indoor activities. Whatever the reason this is my favorite time of the year.

Does anyone else get the emails that ask you to forward to 10 friends and see what happens? Up to this point I have refused to participate but I have always wondered if it is worth me annoying my friends with a silly email to find out what would happen. I mean, it is just email… how many exciting things could happen—really?

It is selection season! Everyone around me is having to make their 2008 health care plan selections. I think it should be called Health Care Gambling Selections. The plans that are offered force you to make a prediction about your health—to gamble with your health. What does it mean if you bet against yourself? At face value I guess it means you will be paying more to the insurance company. It makes me wonder if betting against my health is actually bad for my health. Does it give me an out for living well all the time? Is it healthier to use my insurance selection as a motivator to live well? Shouldn’t I be taking comfort in the fact that I am eating right, exercising, and have no symptoms of concern right now?

If I am doing everything I should to stay healthy I should be betting against the insurance company and saving my money. It seems like it should be an easy decision but the fear of the unknown is an amazing thing. You just never know what will happen over the course of a year. I guess we have all heard the stories about people who got sick or injured and had financial problems because of unexpected health care costs. No one wants to go through that if they don’t have to. So the gambling games goes on and now it seems like a decision that is less about cost and more about what will give me peace of mind.

Human Engineering and Honorary Membership

noreply@blogger.com (RR) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:52:00 +0000

Is it wrong that I am actually looking forward to another season of Dancing with the Stars? I am the last person you would think that would actually enjoy ballroom dancing on TV. I mean who could turn away from the visualization of Wayne Newton doing the Cha-Cha!

Being sick really stinks. Each time I am sick I am so impressed with the engineering of the human body. I am not able to be in awe for the first 4-6 hours of being sick but once I realize that I am not going to die then I start getting fascinated. I mean God really thought of everything: a point of entry, a holding cell, filtering system, recycle system, a manufacturing center, and most important and exit route! The only thing that seems to be in question is the shelf-life but I guess he has a plan for that too!

Dr. Oz is the man! Where does Oprah keep finding these people?

Is it a social embarrassment if you buy fake designer bags? The real ones that run $300-$1000 are no doubt cute and stylish, but am I just a wanna-be or am I a smart shopper if I buy knock-offs for $30? If you get a real bag does that mean you are paying a lot to be a genuine member of that kind of crowd? Is it about the bag or is it really about buying a membership to an elite group? Maybe if I carry a fake I am I searching for membership too but just not willing to pay as much for it. It could mean that I am okay with just being a honorary member of that crowd.