One Quantum Leap At A Time

"Stronger Than Ever, Can't Hold Me Down"

2012-02-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

I will not waste more time or resources. Every day that passes allows me to know and discover more of what I want, and what I don't want. I'm angry, and it's the fuel I need.

I don't know what else to say. I'm done.

Happy New Year: Starting Off Right

2011-12-31T10:22:00.000-08:00

It's going to be a good year. I'm looking forward to all the moving forward.

Brock! I love that you're just around the corner to post a comment, and I completely agree with you on the next year. I am so ready to be done with this one, even though the ending and changing of one number can create so many problems for me at my work. Ha. Life is on the up and up though! Health is good. Family is as crazy as ever. And, I have better things just ahead!

Last night I had one very neat and unique phone call for me, and little did I know that my financial Dave, no relation to Dave Ramsey, would have such an effect. I have waited for this. It is here. It is now. What do I do now? How soon may April come? I may be the most patient person I know, too.

Today looks like a perfect day for a bike ride and run. I have some cooking and cleaning to do, but I am fairly well prepared for the entering of a new year. Here's to it!

December.

2011-12-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

First full week at new job working and not training. I've had my handful of nightmares and am fighting off a cold. I hope my box of tissues lasts through the morning. I wish I had someone to bring me another carton of orange juice and some redbox movies.

I'm nervous about this next week, as each week my standards and requirements increase. I need to get rid of this cold to be on my best game come Monday. Monday mail and meetings, on top of the normal business of a Monday, sends my head spinning on overload. This is my last Monday to sit a bit on the sidelines; next week I take full charge.

But, besides not feeling well the last two days, I've felt great, and have been getting along well with my new short term goals to old aspirations. I'm going to bed for now, though; I just don't feel well today.

Happy holidays are coming fast! Enjoy them!

November.

2011-11-13T08:43:00.000-08:00

Good feelings. I earned the job. I bought the car. I even fixed the bike, maybe. It's a gorgeous day out, so I will have to see how well I did. There is still much to do, always.

I think I just ate my fourth banana for the day, and it's not even noon yet. My inspiration: Click Here!

Thanksgiving day is coming. I hope this warmer weather holds up. I'd like to get some more running in without putting the teeth on the bottom of my shoes!

October.

2011-10-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

So, I've been eating more raw the last couple months and just ran into this today while googling if I may eat okra raw:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/01/raw-food-diet-day-1/

Life is rather well, though I think I may be moving again rather soon. The winter weather is bound to hit soon, so a closer distance to work is highly desired. I love moving though! It gives me the opportunity to evaluate and discover all of the interesting things I have acquired and am still holding onto. Then, I am also allowed this great transition in which I can get rid of as many of those things as I want before hauling my two car loads from one place to the next. I'd really like to get it down to one car load before moving!

The search for another vehicle is in progress as well, though I'm in no immediate hurry at the moment. 2011 has been constant change and surprise-birthing growth. How about that! Thank goodness there are only a couple months left!

Big Sky Country Conversation

2011-08-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

If you're here reading this, you've either landed upon it from my body fitness site link, my facebook link, or have randomly by search engine for something that probably isn't here. If you're here from facebook and the big sky country, then you shouldn't be here. RATHER, you should be calling me or texting me even if I'm at work or sleeping or cleaning up poopy cat butts. This is my life right now, and, if you miss me, you should tell me.

Last night's conversation felt good, despite the fact of things being far from optimal in my family. I miss talking to you. I think I long missed talking to you, perhaps for many many months. Teleport. I could have used a hug. I could have used a really good haven't-seen-Sara-in-months kind of hug. I can play it strong, but I'm still at less than optimal myself. I am really sorry I am not better for you, or was better for you when we spent time together. But, last night sure was nice.

I still don't understand what happened. I wish I did. I had been so frustrated and angry trying to figure it out for so long, and then last night we spoke again. You don't have to check-in here. I hardly have the time or patience to write anymore, especially with limited internet and a failing computer. Just call me. Then teleport.

"Working On A Mystery"

2011-07-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

Someone, perhaps someones, from Grand Rapids is visiting my site, directly, more than I have the last couple days. That's almost creepy. Who are you?

I've been studying a lot lately, really getting into the nitty-gritty of what I can do to my diet and nutrition to really feel better. Sleep has definitely helped, but I've still been having my down days. I felt great last night at work and tested my blood pressure and heart rate. Heart rate was really relaxed for a night at work at 65 while I sat for only a moment. And, my blood pressure was something like 105/65. I always have really good blood pressure, but its that heart rate I struggle with. I think feeling fully rested after sleeping on and off all day really made the difference. But, I've been eating a lot better the last couple of days too.

I found NoMeatAthlete.com and feel like I've read from one page to the next for several hours over the last couple days. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to watch the "Earthlings" movie, as the trailer was enough to make me never want to eat meat again, but the information on the site certainly makes me want to work harder on my diet. We are what we eat. Our futures come from what we do today.

The future.

I've been living one day at a time, but I always find myself dating based on what I want for my future. It's lead me down the right path so far and keeps me close to the trail, so why should I quit? I hate dating. It's awful. I don't specifically like at this point in my life having someone around 24-7. Another reason, perhaps, that Oregon was so difficult for me. I'm not used to being around any one person! I need a best friend, though, if its ever to work; Oregon just wasn't that. And, yes, my progress is slow.

The list of things that I would love to do right now in my life is so extensive. I'm seriously thinking about what my brother said to me on one very inspiring and emotional night. He made a comment on my paintings that really touched my heart, and then went on to humor me with one sad looking stick figure. Ha. I may start painting again. It's one of those things that I can get very lost in, and I may just have luck with a piece or two in the future. It would entertain me through the tough days at least.

I'm going to have to get really tough with myself about my training schedules as well. I've nearly taped them to my forehead, but I haven't been resting and eating consistently and similarly have been falling off schedule. My friend Dan ensures me I probably needed the break, as I probably was taking on too much too fast. I should know better. Ha. I'm back to lifting the iron, which feels great. I'm still dealing with issues I'd rather be done with, but the process of finding a way to manage the syptoms has been more pleasant. I think I'm just about there; I just dislike how much time it takes to go the extra distance in preventing a bad day! Ha.

Keep up with me! I have a lot of things going on right now!

Angry at Great Falls

2011-06-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

So, I have my feedjit account that tells me who stops in to visit. The the night of June 20th Great Falls stopped in. Surprise. You, Great Falls, didn't read the one post about you that I deleted. I hope you don't think of me much longer. I don't know what it was that made you second guess everything and let me go. Craziness. I wish I knew better the details. I wanted you in my dream. I told my friend Nick about you yesterday, and his supportive self helped me through some of the issues that I had trouble with you.

Take nine eleven. Nick told me similarly how horrible it is that I would think so poorly about our country having involvement. But, when he also said how poorly some people choose to do their jobs to prevent such an event, then everything made more sense. I see how poorly people do their jobs everyday. I wish we wouldn't have fought over this. I hate to think that you may think poorly of me for thinking as I have.

I wanted to share things with you. Take running. I was always a runner. It helps my heart condition stay under control better than if I don't. I enjoy the alone time in the outdoors, in the rain especially and in sand. Hail and wind and cold water made Oregon's beach fun; that will always be a good memory. I wish I had been healthier and felt better. I wanted to run a marathon because I felt it would bring us together, give us a reason to celebrate. I want my dream more though. I need to move forward from here just for me. Looking at my marathon training schedule makes me think of you daily; I want to be able to let you go.

I think about you late at night at work when it is really slow. I think about whether I would still feel for you if you walked into the building at any moment looking for me. I know better. I don't know what I have to offer you. I'm not the right person for you at this point in my life. I have no money. And, I bet I was fairly depressing to hang out with in Oregon. I think if I saw you again I'd cry and tell you to leave me.

I need this, to be apart from you, to be able to focus more on me. And still, I questioned Nick about the helicopter pilots in Iraq. He told me you probably wouldn't be there long. He told me that things happen but rarely. It sounds like you'll be pretty safe over there. And, if not, Nick will come to find what's left of you, lol. I know that's not funny.

My mother is getting married in less than a month. I imagine my brother will in the next year. My sister did this year. My sister is going to give birth in a couple months. None of it really excites me. I am absolutely depressing. I am absolutely depressing. I'm sad. I cried again today while I wrote this. I'm angry you stopped by. I know its you. You come from Facebook. Who else would come directly?

And, to think I probably watched for you for a week or two as well. It's perfect that you waited. I'm still angry. Frustrated. Disappointed. But, I'll keep telling myself I'm over it. I've been getting a lot of support from everyone back home. I'm doing okay. I'll be okay, trust me. The doctors are taking great care of me.

A Little Bit of Love!

2011-06-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

[Thank you Shakira!]

I get to see my doctor next Tuesday. They found a location of mutation cells from all the tests they ran the day before I left for Oregon. It's kind of a relief, though it sucks still, that they found anything. This last year has been awful, really, for me. If nothing else, thank God for Drew to help keep me sane! I still wish that Oregon would have gone so much differently, but live and learn. Still, the doctors are telling me the area is precancerous but not to worry because they're going to get it out. And, that makes me feel so much better. Surgery then more testing after 3-4 months to determine whether I can rest easy and just deal with my digestive issues, lol, and that will be the end of it. Hopefully.

I have yet to understand how much time I should take off work, but at least the timing is right. My temptation rightfully refuses to tempt, the pilot is long gone, and I'm in this time of transition with just about everything. And, since I've been feeling really well and coming up healthy in all the tests, recovery should be simple. Maria brought home a 2011 daily sudoku calendar to keep my mind off everything, especially Oregon, and you can tell how well its been working, right? I love her for it! But, it is nice to feel like all the stress and pain my poor immune system (thank goodness it is strong) has been dealing with may have a better 2012. I am already looking forward to it!

I'm still dealing with the gastritis, and I struggled with it in Oregon a lot, especially since drinking a lot would have probably lightened the mood every day. We should have went to the bars daily; I'm just not that kind of person with the pain that alcohol can cause in my digestive system! Fudge, right! And, I am enjoying my caffeine in limited doses being back home, and it sure does help keep me in great spirits. I'm feeling really great though, continuously, and life is just getting better and better as I am getting past all the shit I've dealt with this last year. Conclusions brighten my mood these days! Whoo!

Today is a light running day, but I have yet to tackle it. I slept mostly through the night, a shocker being a third shifter, but I think I'll eat another meal, hit the weights on upper body and a lil' back, then run before late as the temperatures cool down outdoors and the caffeine in my system wears off. I've been feeling really strong. :D This world is in for it! Watch out! This gal is back! I only fear what my doctors are going to tell me as far as restrictions and recovery time. Will I be able to swim? Have a beer after work? Keep running on schedule? We will see!

Either way with it all... I am happy. I know I'm on the right path still. I feel like it is a clearer path as well. How can I really be this happy today? (!) :D Love you all.

Temptation and Family

2011-06-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

"An Ode To Maybe" ... It brings back my younger years like nothing else.

Training is going well. I am getting back to the weights, but I am also staying consistent with the running. I'm excited the direction this body I'm in is going. Especially since I may only have one or two more doctor visits this year before they clear me of the crud I've been dealing with. I'm off ALL medications this week. I'm hoping the pain stays at a minimum. I've been getting by really well.

My extended family has been amazing to me this past week, and I am so grateful! I keep running into more and more familiar faces, and the love they extend out to me in response to recent events is amazing. Losing my dad, to a bummer Europe trip, to seriously ill, to a bummer Oregon trip... A bit more theanine in my diet and I am good to go!

Oregon was interesting. It was the complete opposite of my European adventure, and it was far too much driving. The first two days were the best. The last couple were really tough. Walking around the park in Bend was pretty, but I felt eaten alive in conversation. And, when the tears started to fall, I was ready to leave that day. But, things got better that night with the run, and I guess I'm really just glad I made it out feeling good. It could've been a lot worse; I could have gotten sick. I know I felt really dizzy that last day. I hope skipping a meal was the cause. I can't worry about it; I survived.

Temptation. I need my best pal. The one I pushed back when I met Drew, hoping he'd be it. I need my laughing buddy. I need my law-breaking, crazy-talking, van-driving, cycle-correcting, Spanish-speaking, gypsy friend. I need my [using my best movie announcing voice] "the Separator" hero. I need our laughs and great company. I miss the many laughs of high quality realness! Bring 'em! I need my friend back!

I'm outta here. I have work to do!

"I Want To Fly Away"

2011-06-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

"I Want To Get Away"

So, everyone has been great at work. What a last couple days! From hugs from Marcia, Brad, Gary, etc..., the willing bodies from 2nd shift to take a road trip and offer to do damage (jokingly and lovingly), to the offers from the young guys in the back to take care of any of my needs. Ha. Seriously!

I need these two days away from work. Yet, here I sat trying to finish The Endurance before the library due date. With a 5pm appointment to check out a house and having had my first cup of coffee in a long time, I don't think I'll be sleeping til dark today. I postponed my run til tomorrow, due to today's rain. And, I think I'll attempt the 8.7 hilly miles tomorrow. I think I'm scheduled for a 90 minute run, but I know I'll probably be a bit over. We will see. The weather looks perfect after the rain clears tomorrow morning.

I tried working some of the knots out of my back with Ally's tennis ball, but I know I'm still due for a visit with Stephanie. It's on my long list of things to do. The docs didn't like what they found from the testing done the day before I left to see Drew. Another appointment will happen in the near future. Bummer on top of bummer. Maybe just one or two last visits? I'm still not planning on having the surgery they recommended last fall. Maybe down the road, but I'm maintaining everything rather well right now. I've been feeling really good compared to all the days in the last year.

This feeling good is awesome, and this next week shall be huge in my search and determination for new employment. It's been too long already. I'm fighting, and I want the next big promotion. It's mine. Mary even said last night how excited she is to have me as her protege. Game on. This race is mine! I shall not be disqualified! Hear me roar! I've had enough!

The Battle Continues...

2011-05-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

So, the day after my last post I had the privilege of crossing paths with two other employers of the company I want to get into. No way! I couldn't believe it, and I'm still so excited to see what comes.

With the good seems to come the bad, though. I'm keeping my head up, but my nightmare of seven years ago has dropped its bags on my doorstep, figuratively speaking. Doctor tests didn't come out as well as I hoped, and more appointments are on their way. Bummer. The next one is this next Tuesday, just around the corner. I'm pissed, literally and thoroughly furious with this bit of information. I'm also scared, but not nearly as much as I am angry and disappointed with the results.

In better news, I had a call come this morning from my wellness coach Holly. She humored me with similarities that we share, as well as clear acknowledgment on how well I do live my life. She's more interested in talking about my marathon training because the rest of my life I handle rather well for where I'm at. I didn't share with her my nightmare in progress. I didn't share to her how off I feel my body is from a year and a half ago. I know how to live healthy, but I also like being checked in on. Holly brightens my day because we are two strong women who know how to battle the days one by one as they come.

One day at a time! I'm tired of doctors! I'm hoping this will take care of some of the pain I've been having over the last year, as if they just missed this through ALL of the tests I had. I want my life back to the full capacity! I've been running and working out, but there are still my tough moments physically that I have to battle like hell through. I want to be rid of all the pain already! But for now, I continue to battle each day one at a time.

Keep strong with me! This time next week I will be with Drew! Ahh... I am so excited!

THIS IS IT!

2011-05-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

I had one of those "it all comes down to this, does it?" moments already today, and it's only 8:45am. I scheduled a meeting with a former coworker at my former employment to drop something off to her. Little did I know how weird and also how normal it felt to be there again amongst all the people that I had developed great friendships with over nearly four years. It was hard to be there, getting hugs from people I had left without them knowing now where I was. And then, there was the one person who I had only dreamed to pass in such a scenario.

Never would I have guessed that the simple chat in talking as we passed by would lead to him extending a hand to help me pursue this position I was hoping to talk to him about at his work. God's got his hand on me. [SCORE!] Now, the ball's in my court to reconnect, send out my resume once again, and hope for the best! I feel like this could really be it!

If it weren't for Drew I probably would believe that I could do this. This is so me! And, Drew wants free shoes! Ha.

I've Been Pissed Lately

2011-05-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

Rarrr! Hear me bleed bloody words out of my mouth! Rarr!

I finally felt like myself and was actually tempted to go shopping, but I resisted. Instead..., I had an awesome day of "cooking." I wish I had taken pictures of my progress. I started at about 3am working on baking the chickpeas and later on just before noon steamed up some veggies . I was hoping to get a good run in, but I opted out; I had considered biking the length instead too. But, the weather was cold, rainy, and windy this morning, and I do not want to challenge my immune system against a cold right now.

...

Yesterday night, I made a snack hoping that tahini, honey, and cocoa would taste like a nice fudge. I was greatly disappointed, but when I exchange the tahini for almond butter and add a little, little bit of water... wahla! Brilliant with slices of banana! LOVE!

I love food. I also discovered my love for the jicama root, which comes from Mexico and is part of the pea family. It looks on the inside like a white potato but can be eaten raw, which I absolutely love, and tastes just like sweet peas. I'm sure I've eaten more than half of the thing that was bigger than my two fists put together.

I'm feeling really good right now and am nearing a bit of tiredness. I guess I should get ready for a nap before the kids get home early with miss thang whiny dog... since their ball game for today was canceled. Bummer.

I'm Sad, Lonely, and Depressing.

2011-05-10T07:41:00.001-07:00

I like third shifts because I can manage myself. I also like them because I have, at least currently, Marcia, who is like a personal therapist. For all the people I come across who I find I have a hard time relating to, she puts everything into perspective and tells me exactly how it is. It helps me not feel alone. On third shifts with Marcia, I feel good about myself and the fight I've been giving.

My life surrounds the life of my dad, and the fight he gave. When I'm alone, I cry a lot of tears while thinking of my dad. I'm sure it would kill my dad worse to see me sad and upset, but sometimes it's the only place I can hide for a while to charge my damn, stubborn, Zimmerman, Energizer batteries that I run my life on. I used to drown myself in work, but it was honest to God killing me internally.

Surviving Yesterday

2011-05-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

I hadn't slept well yesterday morning or the previous evening for that matter. I knew I wanted to get my hour run in, and I did successfully complete it. The sun was out as I ran and the temperatures only rose. I knew I was overdressed half way through. I feared I hadn't eaten enough the night before or may have been a bit dehydrated. Immediately after I took in fluids, a bit of food, and went to bed only to lie there eyes wide open.

So, I got up and left the house to meet my sister for lunch. I knew I was tired. I felt nauseous. I was far too warm. I wondered if I had reached the point of heatstroke. The symptoms are always the same though, and the nausea is common for me with all the struggling I went through last year with the doctors and no solutions found. I took my whole lunch home, only a few bites taken out of it, drove home alright, and tried my best to sleep.

I don't know that I've ever slept worse. I was miserable. I tossed and turned. I know some of it was exhaustion both physically and mentally. I know some of it could be anxiety from looking for places to move into. I've felt great lately, so this absolutely sucked. I do not want to find myself back where I was last year. I've done my best to fight my way back. Maybe I was deficient in a vitamin or mineral; I've been forgetting to take my dailies. I took a B12, finally took in some food, and tried again at the sleeping thing. Eventually I got it and just woke around 1am, but this was awful.

I'm feeling chills now, so at least I know my body temperature is down. I think I need to watch the heart rate while I run more than I had today, but that's absolutely frustrating. I just want this body to work more like it used to. Looks like I'll try running my week three training over again, and see how another hour at the end of this next week works out for me.

"Walked Upon The Raging Sea" Part 2

2011-04-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

Well, two nights on 3rds last week, and they both went really well. I felt like the second night went better, but I did have less busy work that night as well. Boss lady says she'll let me have full-time on 3rds once the lady I am replacing leaves. Yay! This is demotion I've been waiting for! Ha. I love how calm the work is and hope I can catch on better to all the little things that require our attention at night and the general order of things. Only two weeks of scattered shifts! 3rds here I come!

I've been having trouble sleeping at night since I switched myself around the first night. I find that I get a lot more done at night without the distractions of the day. And, I also find that I don't much mind sleeping during the day, though I may find summer months hard... not wanting to miss any of the day! Anyway, I am excited for this change, and I will be adding school on top of that once late August comes. I know the possibilities that this may be exhausting, and I may have to go back to working short 1st/2nd shifts. But, I am hoping this whole summer will allow me to adjust like I need to for the few morning classes I plan on taking.

I've been looking at a few colleges thus far to compare the classes I need yet for entrance into doctorate physical therapy programs. The four main classes I need are two physics, one additional biology, and possibly one more chemistry. Why do they have to be all lab classes? Ha. Two in the fall, two in the winter, experience in the summer... maybe even a job as a tech or secretary... even if it is in another state... and maybe two years before actually starting the program? Is that too long from now? I really would like to have more money in the bank before I jump into my three dedicated years of physical therapy school. I'm focusing on these first four classes first!

Then I come to the question of whether I should find a better job now and just take one class at a time, though half time would defer the loans I already am paying on. My brother says yes, but I'm mentally exhausted and simply want to focus on one thing right now and not so much a new job. But, I have still been applying, so we will have to wait and see. I just need 3rds to keep me away from people for a while. ;)

"Walked Upon The Raging Sea" Part 1

2011-04-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Went running tonight following week one's first of four runs from the Personal Running Trainer 16 weeks audio training program to run a marathon. It went well. I'm hot and sweaty. My neighbors have all waved at me like usual. And, now I get to get cleaned up for my first night on 3rd shift. BE-A-UTIFUL!

I'm hoping this goes well so that I can continue it throughout the remainder of the year. This may be really getting my hopes up, but I need this to work. It is horrible for me to say, but I need this break for me. I shall have to return with another update tomorrow.

I have much more I've wanted to write over the last couple days. I shall be back!

"We're Here Now"

2011-04-07T21:43:00.000-07:00

Song for today: Tenth Avenue North's "Healing Begins"

I spent a majority of the day processing thoughts about getting into a physical therapy program. It's ironic to me that this is where I am again. I only job shadowed for two jobs when I was in my first couple years of college nearly six or seven years ago. The first job I took three years of college pursuing before I changed directions. The other is now my target after so many years in between.

I have so much I wanted to write, but I'm so exhausted. Sleep wins tonight. I shall return at another time.

God's Got His Hand On Me

2011-04-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

Song for today: "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets

Now is the perfect time for me to write. My mind is clear. My blood is flowing. My thoughts are brewing. I have so much going on mentally.

Years ago I turned down a job with Health Motion in Rockford after having already been in the Health Motion downtown shadowing. I had gone back to school, and I even remember taking the call while I was walking to the science building at the college. I was so excited, but I also couldn't pull the hours that they were giving me the opportunity to take; my plate was full at that time. It may be time to get back in there.

There's been a lot more prayer in the last year than what I am used to. Drew's call tonight was an answered prayer. It was at a perfect time having just finished my research online and had my previously purchased and never really read textbook on manual (massage) therapy. His statement on how if I were to get into another direction for a few years and then fall back into the thought of going to college for physical therapy hit a parallel with my own thoughts. Why not just do it now? Why not make that your direction now? I know there will be plenty more prayer time ahead of me.

I feel like I've forgotten what its like to be a student, and I'm enjoying finally being able to enjoy some time away from working 24-7 and not feeling like I'm getting anywhere with me, with working on who I am and where I am headed both with my career and physically. I look at all that I've been through and what still is possible... and what people have said about me, my personality and work ethic(!), and I get excited! Still, my brain hurts just contemplating what all has to be done! This begins the 'one step at a time' mentality!

Now, all I'm thinking is how I can prepare myself over the next year or two to make it into the program and survive the program both with the prerequisites and financially. It's number crunching time!

"I Know You Know Me"

2011-03-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

Today's Song: "Thousand Things" by Disciple

Weeks have gone by since my last post. Not much has changed since, but tomorrow is my last day at the gym. I finally made the decision to leave. There are too many reasons why I had to. It starts with finding more time in my day and having time to work on me. It also allows me the time to make more money at my real job. I will miss the people. But, the building I have to move on from. I have been stagnant far too long.

Today has been my first full day off from work without any big plans, so I am finally getting more organization done. That alone should help me feel so much better about everything. I'm not sure what direction I am headed from here, but this change is good. I still have much I want to get done. There is so much more I'd like to get done! I'm thinking, though, at this point of the evening I should probably take the dog for a walk and make some dinner! I hope to be back to write more soon, perhaps tomorrow.

Song for today "Glory Defined" by Building 429

2011-03-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today is the beginning of lent for all the Catholics out there. My brother's girlfriend is one of those, so it meatless for today and Fridays. I asked her this morning if I could still have egg whites and fish. She said yes, so I told her "welcome to my life," since I've not been doing so great with animal meat.

When I asked her what she was giving up for lent, she replied that she simply wanted to do better about going to church every weekend. My brother is probably partially to blame for that one; I hope he can help her to do that despite his work schedule.

...

Yesterday I moved in the last couple pieces of furniture that I had in my parent's garage. There were two more boxes of cleaning materials and dishes and glassware that are now sitting in the middle of my bedroom. What to do with them? What to do? So, I am reorganizing today. Yoga is still on the list of things to do for today as well, in preparation for my group ex Centergy training that is all too fast approaching.

I'm working the rest of the week, mostly from one job straight to the next, but I have training sessions on the list. This mostly means my days may just be getting longer, which with the time change may just work. Summer weather is on its way, which means I need to be reaching my goals now, without excuses! [And, I should be getting in the pool, right? Making those appointments with Laura are on my list of things to do as well!] ... I just sent an email.

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In other news, my brother chuckled this morning at the fact that I had our college address memorized, as he was filling out another application. I said back to him that I've filled out enough apps to be able to remember it. The fact that I've filled out more applications to places outside of Michigan should be no surprise. I just find it amazing that this is what it has all come to: me ready to leave the land I've called home for a new challenge, for new work. Here's to filling out yet another application. I hope one day soon this process will find itself postponed for a few months or so. :D

Today's application goes out to Richmond, VA :P

And, as always: Love life!

"Worth It All"

2011-03-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that the time change is just days away! Spring is on the way!

I have even better news: I am four days off of the omeprazole. This excites me thoroughly. Diet is back on track, despite still staying away from most land animal meat. Oatmeal, in the form of stove cooked steal cut oats, has been put back on the daily menu. It's so far so good.

The cycling training, on the other hand, is kicking me in the rear! I am beat daily with this, song after song, again and again. I'm doing my best to learn the tracks and the music, focusing on one at a time. I know the real challenge is just getting on the bike again and again. Video tape in another month?

I have yet to make updates on the physical goals I set a month ago. To be completely honest, I may have hit the weights two or three times since the goals were set. Working at a gym means nothing when I'm not motivated to get back in there at the end of the day. I will get these shoulders back where they were. And, there's plenty of other work to be done.

Short update for today. I'm hoping to work on that video again, getting down all the cues at least. And maybe later, I might go back up to the gym to practice a bit... or lift weights. ;) It's great being me.

"No Plan B"

2011-03-06T05:31:00.000-08:00

"There's no Plan B."

I heard this song nearly every time I got into my car yesterday. I added it to my playlist about a week ago.

"Hit the streets."

I picked up more hours at work for today. A short day, but add it to the other short day I plan on picking up this week, and it's a consistent bonus to my weeks. The extra hours have been a blessing. And, it's nice finding those weak fellows who don't mind me taking them.

I'm hoping to hit the weights light today. It's something that I've been putting off quite often. I don't mean to, there is just so much going on. Between talking to Laura trying to set up swim times to training for my cycling routine, I find myself sleeping unexpectedly at sometimes 6pm at night. It makes me miss my caffeine, but I feel awesome when I wake up.

"Face myself or get taken out."

I feel like everyone has been fighting a common cold except for me this winter season. Despite my own internal pains, It feels amazing knowing that my immune system has been strong enough to keep sickness away. I don't know that I could handle going through anything similar to last year all over again. I'm at a point where I finally feel like I am taking control of my body again. And yet, there is so much left to do.

"And I know that this road is my destiny."

I'm thrilled for what's to come! I know I hit rock bottom last year at about the same a year ago. To look back and see what has happened since: amazing! And, I'm only feeling better and better as the days go on.

"Born for this, victorious."

It's back to the gym. Back to the grind. Back to the bike. Back to running in this race of life.

But first, it's back to work!

"It's RIDE or die!"

2011-02-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

Welcome back! ...That's how I feel! I have so much excitement right now in my life!

God's been doing amazing things in my life this week. With work I feel like I finally am getting a foot in the door, or maybe at least a toe. In relation to family, I had an unexpected visitor Monday at work that opened my eyes wide with a curiosity and interest I have not had for quite some time in this Michigan world of mine. And, running into a familiar 'Gator' led me straight into a conversation about my faith.

Enter "One Quantum Leap At A Time."

I've needed at break at work; I've just wanted someone to understand how far I've come in three years and give me a chance. I haven't had the best of times there. I haven't had my interests focused while finishing college. I've been stressed juggling it all, trying to keep everyone happy except myself. Now that I've nursed myself back to feeling well, I feel that desire again that I've lost over the long months... several dozen of them.

Months working on the fitness piece.

There's really no understanding to the fight I've had to maintain to not walk out away from my dreams, and I except complete fault for getting caught up in finishing college rather than developing my career. I'm at that point where I've had enough, and it's either all or nothing. Well, I finally got something; my toe caught in the door I've been wanting to enter. A new battle begins, I know, to fit one more thing in my crazy schedule. But, this is the ticket; this is my 'in.' No understanding comes from the ones who I want it from, but it's now that I can prove myself to the ones who can help make my dreams a reality.

Reality. Enter family.

My unexpected visitor came up to me with what might as well have been beaming lights down upon her. She glowed with excitement, and I was attracted to it. That's when she asked if I were... she said my name! Sure am THAT GAL! She then asked if I was the daughter of... she said my dad's name. [Oh how I miss him.] Soon enough we were a conversation that played like a racquetball game. Apparently a cousin to my father, I was absorbed in every word this woman had to say, in every question she asked. She said my grandmother's name. [Oh how I miss her.] And when this magnificent woman had to leave, I wanted her to stay so we could continue to share conversation, build a bond, and reunite corners of our family in my brain that I am still unaware of at this point in life. I was touched, and the rest of the day I felt some of her beam in every one of my smiles.

Beam. Rays of light. Enter faith.

I've had my share of close friends who have studied the Bible most of their lives. I'm not one who likes to be told what to do and especially what to believe. I have my faith in a God, and I don't want to be preached to by acquaintances. But, I ran into Steve 'Gator.' This guy is amazing. First of all, anyone who is near twice my age and recognizes and personally, verbally compliments me on my muscular figure while I'm at my 'office job' and engages in conversation with me about fitness instantly wins my attention. Not seeing 'Gator' in months and then recognizing his face and direct eye contact left us in one LONG conversation that dropped me right into being talked to about my religious involvement.

Enter the body of Sara.

I burn my candle at both ends. I work myself ridiculously hard for having been a student in college for eight years. I feel like I may have wasted a lot of time and money and now torture myself to pay my debts, but this makes me who I am today. My dad was the best role model I had, and he worked himself to death. I remember days he would come home from work and just lie out on the porch step. I wish it weren't winter, because I would love to go back there right now and just lie on that same porch step. I would like to rest this burnt out candle.

If it weren't for Drew spoiling with flowers repeatedly, I don't know if I would ever stop to smell them. I have been living to work and not working to live. This is why that first step in the door is so important, even if it means I have to wedge my big toe in first. This is why the reminder of family, and those who have NEVER turned their back on me when other family members have, is so important. This is why bringing me back to "faith as the backbone of the manner I live" is so important. It is at this time, when my health is good, my relationships are great, and my faith is present that my spirit feels alive and knows that May flowers are on their way.

Now is the season for April showers.

Lord, cleanse me of what I do not need, bring to life what has lied dormant, and renew my spirit in full.

"Come spark the parts in me that all but died/Jump start my heart and wake the sleeper inside" - lyrics from Toby Mac's song "Ignition" ... "It's RIDE or die!"

Comic for this weekend: (Oh how I love Michigan weather!)