One Step Ahead Parenting

Screaming Children Banned From Restaurants

Sandra Dye — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:43:14 +0000

Branda Armes, owner of the Olde Salty restaurant in Carolina Beach, N.C. has posted a notice “Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated”. Currently there is a growing intolerance for cranky, crying, noisy children in restaurants and in airplanes. The unanswered question is how to make a

Self Control And Your Child: What Really Works?

Sandra Dye — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 22:43:17 +0000

Will power alone fails miserably when parents try to get their children to exert restraint in the face of some highly desired object. The good news is that children can expand their self control with specific

Chores From a Kids’ Perspective – Are They Worth It?

Austin Carrington — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:22:15 +0000

Change The Word Chores

The word “chore” is probably my least favorite word, and chances are your kids and teens hate that word too. But if your house is anything like mine, the word “chore” is very alive. It seems simple from a parents’ perspective. You want your kids to do chores to help teach them responsibility, to help them develop long lasting life skills, and don’t lie, the extra help around the house never hurts. But we don’t see it that way. For me it was “You’re too lazy to do it yourself, so you just make me do it.”

What defines this generation?

Austin Carrington — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:31:32 +0000

Introduction Generation me, generation X, whatever you call it, there are many things that define this generation. Whether we are texting, facebooking, tweeting, or skyping we are constantly connected. I personally never go anywhere without my phone. If you see me, my phone is always by my

Why Digital Allowances Aren’t Too Far-Fetched

Mary Kay Hoal — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 23:28:00 +0000

In the midst of the online cultural shift that we’ve seen in the last five years, it’s no secret that online shopping is becoming more of a social norm every day. Though online shopping can be extremely convenient and user-friendly, it can also pose a whole new set of rules and guidelines that parents have to be prepared to teach their children; after all, our children were born into this sort of thing. Whether its real items like clothes and books or virtual goods like digital songs and games, it suffices to say that online shopping has given a whole new meaning to “allowance”.

Parents Are Not 100% Responsible For Children’s Moral Development

Sandra Dye — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:21:42 +0000

Parents feel responsible for instilling values and morals in their children. Yet, Harvard University infant cognition studies reveal how children are not empty containers to be filled. Quite to the contrary, we now know that children already come pre-wired with their own basic moral systems. This knowledge may throw a wrench in your ideas about instilling values in your child.

PARENTS DO HAVE RESPONSIBILITY BUT IT MAY LOOK DIFFERENT THAN YOU WERE THINKING

Toddlers Do They Need Traffic Cops?

Sandra Dye — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:34:41 +0000

Limits

Most parents react to their independent toddlers with limits. Things may dissolve into an exhausting barrage of “No, Don’t Touch, Stop, Stop Hitting etc.” Imagine that your child has the ability to stop him(her) self even at 18 months.

Yes, developmentally the challenge is to recognize they are separate from you, thus toddlers expressed feelings through “no, mine” language. However….let’s see how the self regulation works in toddlers.

What is it really like?

If you have a toddler you may long for bedtime when your child is finally settled and calm, attentive and connected, listening totally absorbed as you read a bedtime story. For you it may seem like you have become a traffic cop during the day. It may seem that your toddler requires you to constantly direct his or her every move.

Well, I don’t mean to shock you … but not only is your toddler able to have his or her own traffic light, but your job is to shift from limit maker/enforcer to possibility maker. When you are the possibility maker your toddler takes on the role of self-regulation. Think of it this way, “when we finish this we get to chose what to do next”.

But Sandra, come on! If toddlers were older they could understand but they need limits more than anything now.

Toddlers Need Limits

Sure, toddlers need limits. But in working with scores of parents just like you I have found, by following a few simple guidelines, you can help your child self-regulate. When your child self-regulates you can experience more success than you ever imagined!

Mindset