one who seeks

Summary of Sept-Jan

2012-01-28T16:02:00.000-05:00

This is the obligatory post that says "I haven't blogged since... July? August? who knows when, and now I'm back." You'll notice that I left out that I'm sorry I left it so sadly neglected.

The fact is, that when real life gets too busy to chronicle it in the digital life, that may be a sign to pay attention to reality. Notably, so many things are worth recording, and sharing- and there are many things I wish I had! But I am not that great at juggling so many things, so I had to choose.

So, what happened since my last post?

She always wanted to see lava in Hawaii,
so my dad took her there last Christmas.

- September: I visited my mom in Colorado, didn't go so well. Ended up having to leave early and returned discouraged and frustrated. Once I returned, a major opportunity opened and I became a small group leader for young women in our church. We currently meet Wednesday's in Jason and my apartment. The immense joy, growth, and blessing that comes from this is beyond words, and clearly beyond summarizing.

-October: my grandmother, Lois; passed away from a heart attack and stroke. I flew up to Alaska just in time to be with her and family when she died, and to help take care of some of her affairs. I learned a lot about the legal and medical side of death, and again witnessed the further evidences of my family being broken apart.

-November: Celebrated a relatively quiet month- meaning no flying and relatively no travel. Had a very nice Thanksgiving with friends and their family. Meanwhile, my parents divorce was scheduled to be finalized literally the day before Thanksgiving, and due to my mother having to go the emergency room- did not finalize.

-December: My father's Christmas gift to Jason and I were tickets to Alaska. So for Christmas and New Year's we got to fly there and spend time with my dad's side of the family, whom Jason had never met- since he had never been to Alaska and none of them were able to come to our wedding. It was a love/hate trip: I was so excited to see family and to show Jason Alaska, which will always have a part of my heart. I am tied to that place more than any place on this earth, though these past two years have been God growing me; to the extent that saying I am tied to any place on this earth really doesn't mean much anymore. And yet the trip was one of the most stressful I have ever experienced, as continued sin leads to pain, hurt, discouragement, anger, frustration, brokenness, blindness, stubbornness, and further destruction of my family.

-January: Jason and I returned home to Chicago, both remarking on the miracle that Chicago is, indeed home for us. We returned exhausted, struggling to recover from the emotional and physical weariness, and yet full of joy. Returning to our church, our friends (mainly from our small groups)- was the most encouraging thing that could have helped us. Once again, God was clear in that our time here in Chicago is focusing on our growth, His process of sanctification in our lives and that our church is why we are here. We've been unpacking, sleeping, working. This weekend Matthew, Jason's younger brother is in town visiting so they can attend our church's Men's Conference together- what a blessing!

Reading those posts, it sounds so incredibly- without hope or without joy. And I need to be absolutely clear that that is not the case! The past few months have been busy, full, sometimes with good and often with pain. However, through them we have only seen more and more of how faithful God is. That He has revealed Himself to us in new ways; His truth, provision (financially, with mentors and leaders, a church body that constantly convicts, edifies, encourages and prays for us, with friends who help us) and most of all: that He has lead us through all of it. Scripture tells us that life is difficult, that we will have trials! And that these are to grow our faith.

I can testify that my faith is growing. I know that through every single painful conversation, through every single incredibly awkward moment, through the bleak state of things- that God is with me, and is bringing me through all. I know that He is building in me a powerful testimony that I have faith will be used to inspire and help others, just as He used others to help and inspire me.

I know that Jason and I would not trade these months for anything.
I'd also like to share the testimony of a guy I go to church with. May it bring you hope and remind you of the power of the God we serve.

God at Work - Alex Callaway from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

Honoring parents: when it's difficult

2011-09-15T15:26:00.000-04:00

I know that I have lots of things to catch up on with this blog, and I am thrilled to be entering fall, a season of (hopefully) less travel so I can have some time at home.
However, I wanted to post about something the Lord has been teaching me this past year; along with how to be more loving, more gracious- more generous. The prompt was a blog post from my pastor, James Macdonald, found here. It's on honoring your parents; something with which I've always struggled.

It's also been an issue that I've seen continually come up in my women's small group; the puzzle of honoring parents, even when they're in sin; or aren't Christians, so their counsel may not always be best or wise. What does it look like to disagree with your parents but still honor them, and honor Christ?
His article helped clarify some of those things, at least for me.

First he starts out with what it doesn't mean- and I hurt for individuals who have been wounded by their parents; physically or psychologically, or even taken advantage of financially. I personally know quite a few people who have had to deal with serious things because of their parents: and then wondered, how can I still be honoring to the Lord? How can I love my mother or father without enabling them? Or without putting myself at risk?

First, honoring our parents does not mean to go back groveling and seeking their approval (again). Children need to get freed from my-parents’-approval bondage.

Secondly, it does not mean to make yourself vulnerable to their hurtful behavior. Sometimes appropriate boundaries between children and abusive parents are necessary. But the need for that boundary does not free us from the obligation of honoring our parents.

Thirdly, honoring our parents does not mean ignoring or denying the past.

At the end of the day; this is what I have really learned, and what I hope to hold fast to.

It means choosing to place great value upon our relationship with them. It means not kidding myself into thinking that my parents don’t matter to me. It involves taking the initiative to improve the relationship whatever its current condition. And it means recognizing what they have done right. You say, “They haven’t done a lot right.” They have done something right, even if it’s little more than giving you life (that’s big). So, express that recognition. Acknowledge the sacrifices that they have made for you. Honoring includes seeing them as Christ does, with compassion and mercy. It means forgiving them as Christ has forgiven you.

This past year one of the key verses that I've returned to time and time again has come from

How will they know unless we show them?

2 Timothy 1: 6-7: " Therefore, I remind you to keep ablaze the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment."
Through the power of the Holy Spirit alive within me: I have a supernatural capacity for love. I draw my capability for human interaction not from myself! It's not coming from my own strength or energy, but rather the Holy Spirit is the gap between what God calls and desires of me, and what I can do on my own.

Through studying this, and earnestly seeking to be a more loving person- I have seen my heart be changed. I feel like I have been freed from a callous and jaded temperament, and am able to really serve now. I can get out of the way, when my human and wicked desires prompt me to be cruel or self-serving, or even to react focusing on my hurt when wronged.

Again, it comes back to the perspective of how to live: Glorifying our Savior, Jesus Christ. In All things.

" Now the end of all things is near; therefore: be clear headed and disciplined for prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, his speech should be like the oracles of God; if anyone serves, his service should be from the strength God provides, so that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To Him belong the glory and power forever and ever. Amen. "

1 Peter 4:7-11

This Saturday I am flying to Colorado to see my mom! First time I have seen her since my wedding, nearly a 1 1/2 years ago. She's had some rather serious health issues, and is having a knee surgery in Denver. I'll have the privilege to help her out after her surgery, hopefully to encourage her, help her recover, but more importantly; honor her and honor Christ. I go knowing that I will be strengthened to do this by the same God that wants me to do it. He is always faithful.

Recipe: Grilled Summer Squash Pizza with Goat Cheese

2011-08-11T19:18:00.001-04:00

Persian bread pizza

Recently, I came across this post from a dear fellow Hannah with whom I went to college. It won me over instantly, as I love... pizza... and all forms of cheese... and squash. And, as I had just bought a ton of summer squashes, it seemed the perfect timing.

So, my own variation, determined by my own tastes and available ingredients. I made 3 variations total, one grilled, and two in the oven since our grill was not large enough. Ingredients listed below should make between 2-3 pizzas. I used yogurt with the sauce as well as the cheese to reduce the caloric content, and to make it easier to spread on the bread.

Grilled/Baked Citrus Summer Squash and Goat Cheese Pizza

-pizza dough, or in my variation; I used Persian bread and then 2 large pieces of Indian naann.
-8oz of goat cheese
-2 cups of Greek yogurt, nonfat
-juice and zest of 1/2 lime, 1/2 lemon
-fresh basil leaves

-2-3 medium sized yellow squash and zuchini mix
-salt, pepper, ground coriander, paprika, lemon pepper
-olive oil

1- If you are using something that is already baked, like I did, then you will want to cook your squash ahead of time. I sliced the squash quickly using my food processor, and then roasted them in the oven using a non-stick cookie sheet for about 25 minutes at 450 degrees. I put them all in a single layer, drizzled olive oil on them, and then spiced them with salt, lemon pepper, coriander, thyme, and paprika.

2- Pizza sauce: Again, using my food processor, I mixed the Greek yogurt and goat cheese together until nice and creamy, and easily spreadable. I added a bit of citrus juice and zest to taste. Add in a little lemon pepper and salt.

My dear friend Angela

3- Heat your grill or oven- prepare it for the pizza!

4-Spread the cheese/yogurt sauce on the pizza base, and then arrange the basil leaves intermittently. Place the squash circles on concentric, overlapping circles. I believe in doing multiple layers, since food processors get squash quite thin.

5- Grill/bake until the edges of the squash look a bit crispy, and until it has heated. Enjoy!

I made other variations as well; one with fresh tomato, feta, and avocado. This seemed to be a hit, but in retrospect, put the tomato and avocado on after baking- the nice fresh flavor is diluted with the heat.

What are some of your summer favorites?

Wedding: Jody Lent and Rachel Keller

2011-08-05T22:03:00.001-04:00

For a season, Jody Lent was in my life everyday.

Jodi and Jody: two dear friends of mine. One scary,
one even more scary. Who is who depends on the day.

Our last year of college was spent together a great deal, no one wants to eat at the college cafeteria, and no one wants to eat alone. It was a practical arrangement: we'd take our trips to Wal-Mart and Kroger together, he would often provide ingredients for meals I would cook for both of us.

We'd spend evening sitting on the roof outside my room talking about everything- past, present, future... our weaknesses and our strengths. Both of us were going to live in Chicago post-graduation, so we knew it was a friendship that would last beyond the alma mater.

When I got married, Jody did one of the kindest things for Jason and I, and moved all of my stuff to our new apartment in Chicago: including carrying it up to the second floor. His gift to us was not letting us pay my share of the u-haul. What a blessing!

Recently Jody was married in Cleveland, to an incredibly cheerful woman named Rachel. Jason and I were both in the wedding, even though when I was asked- I'd never met the bride! It was the sort of thing one does knowing glimpses of the future: of knowing of all of our entwining paths in Chicago.

The wedding weekend was really full: we were staying in Akron, with our good friends the Facklers, at their grandparents house on the lake. It was so beautiful, and definitely was one of the highlights of the summer thus far. I got to feed baby ducks, swim in a beautiful lake, and witness fireworks under the stars. It's almost impossible to see stars in Chicago.

But we were there as witnesses to their wedding. For Jason and I, this wedding was different than most others this summer, for the simple reason that instead it being a culmination of many things we've already witnessed and been a part of, it was the beginning.

Photo by Rob Lent

We didn't know Rachel. But we knew we would. We hadn't seen their lives grow together, leading to engagement and marriage, but we knew we would see the next steps. We hadn't even seen Jody and Rachel interact much, since a great deal of their relationship was long distance until the wedding... but we knew we would.

We know we will.

Recipe: Homemade Hummus from fresh Chickpeas

2011-08-04T18:55:00.000-04:00

I love hummus.
There's two really important components to hummus: flavor, and texture. One is immensely easy, the other... that's where the effort comes in.

The main ingredients in hummus are chickpeas, olive oil, and tahini. Variations that I think also are essential include lemon juice, salt, lemon pepper, paprika, cumin, and usually a little ground coriander.

I've made hummus before just using a can of cooked chick peas, and food processing it with the other ingredients. The flavor is good- the texture... not so much.
Without a high powered blender, it comes out grainy, and very unlike the smooth and delicious hummus that I can buy very, very cheaply around Evanston/Skokie.
I bought uncooked, but shelled garbanzo beans at my local market (favorite place ever)... and proceeded to hull them.

This process was so annoying. It took a very long time.

What I did was to soak them in hot water for about 20 minutes, and then individually take the little hull off of every bean. It was a miserable experience. In hindsight, this would have been much easier after they were cooked. Silly Hannah.
However, it was key. My hummus turned out excellent. It's not quite perfected, but as that I don't have an immersion blender (yet) it's definitely the best I can get with my amazing food processor.

Step one: Cook the beans, until very tender. Then cool them (or wear heat resistent gloves) and hull them. Place in food processor, and give a good blending.

Step two: Ingredient adding time! I add to taste largely. The olive oil and tahini, as well as lemon juice will also highly influence the consistency of the hummus.
For olive oil, I use a special, fresh pressed kind of olive oil that I can buy from my other favorite market. They make it themselves, and it tastes amazing. Also very cheap, which sounds incredulous, I know.

The tahini I also get there, it comes with great recipes on the back of the bottle for hummus and tahini dressing as well. Here's a picture of my typical hummus spicing.

Lemmon Pepper
Granulated Garlic
Salt
Cumin
Ground Coriander
Paprika
Thyme

The result was a creamy textured, smooth hummus that tasted fantastic. Served to my middle eastern friends it even got the ok! It took a while to get it down, but it's the little tricks to cooking that make all the difference.

I'm back

2011-08-04T16:07:00.000-04:00

all from your friendly lost in a city girl

July was such a busy month that I didn't have time to record my journeys here. But I do have catch up to do! Coming soon:

-Recipe: homemade hummus from raw chick peas
-Recipe: grilled and baked summer squash pizza with goat cheese sauce
-Currently reading: updates on those books I've been tackling
-Neat finds: thrift store victories
-Weddings: Cleveland and Columbus
-My life: updates on family, and how the Lord has drawn me into ministry in my church
-The ongoing song challenge
-A fun new thing: interviews! I hope to post interviews with some newly married couples, those about to be, and the current Miss Cook County, etc.
-health updates
-new skill: sewing! The ongoing learning process.

Stay tuned. It's going to be a great August.

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

2011-06-27T00:19:00.000-04:00

"For The Morning" Alli Rogers.
Where am I?

I'm in my college dorm room, or anywhere at college, studying and just trying to make it through the night. It might be an all nighter, or just until 3am. It might be any subject, but chances are it's my psych classes, pushing through cognitive the neurobiology until I just can't anymore. It's black outside, no sounds except the turning of pages or creating of note cards.

It's also driving at night- in the rain. When my passenger is asleep, and there's nothing but the miles under my tires. When it just stretches on forever.

the song captures that desperation when I'm just waiting for the morning to get there.
a reminder that God's mercies are, indeed... new every morning. Praising God even when it's midnight.
That desperate plea for hope.

day 5: Songs that reminds you of People, and follow friday

2011-06-25T14:43:00.002-04:00

I love memories. They are so important to human relationships. So I'm going to cheat and choose a few songs and the people they mean to me. I'm also trying to incorporate Follow Friday's (though technically published on Saturday...) into my blog... so this is a convenient way to do it. I decided to pick 5 songs that come up on my play count often who immediately seemed tagged to people .

3x5 (John Meyer): Jason Carr and my trip to Alaska. Jason made me two mix cd's for my 6,000 mile roadtrip. (One way, of course). This song really reminds me to make the most of every moment and not to try to capture everything. Some things... just can't be captured by photographs, or blogs, or even words of any kind. My roadtrip to Alaska was very much that way. This is just one way that he balances me, leads, and loves me.

There Can be Miracles (Prince of Egypt Soundtrack): Kiernan Schroeder and our singing adventures. We had hoped for a while to be able to sing this song as a duet. It would have been fantastic. She's a writer, soon to be a teacher in Colorado. She has literary insight that I lack in so many ways, her blog is so worth a check out.

One Life to live (33 Miles): Victoria Harper. A Christian country/rock band. Worth your time to check them out! In my senior year at college, I actually won tickets to see them in concert as they did a pro-life tour where all donations supported local pregnancy centers. Love the band. Victoria was supposed to go with me, but she has prior obligations, so I took her boyfriend, now husband. Her story is now the opposite of mine: originally living in San Diego, now living on a farm/ranch in the middle of Wyoming. Her blog is raw, honest, and real.

Baba O'Riley (The Who): Shannon Finn. My sister all throughout college! Polar opposites on most things, but a friendship born in the fires of difficulty. She was my kindred spirit through psychology and our Hillsdale journeys. We conquered tears, bad choices, lousy friends together. I love this girl so much! Recently she graduated from IVY LEAGE Penn University with her Masters in Criminology, and then decided to be a nanny in Ireland for the summer. Her adventures, and mishaps- are chronicled on her Wordpress. I think someday it will be a romantic comedy film :) From being mugged in the City of Brotherly Scary People (Philly) and to being hit on by a creepy cross dresser in an Irish pub, she writes vividly. This song got us through many long study nights together, and will always be tied to her sassy, glamourous and stubborn personality :)

Seth is the dude on the right, and yes I'm in a wedding dress

Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve): Seth Twomey. This guy and I skipped so many classes together. We both joked about how it was bad. He eventually failed a lot of classes and then went to another school and is doing awesome! I managed decent grades and tried to have more self-control. But I have so many amazing, spontaneous memories. This song was always one of our favorites for our random road trips.

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

2011-06-23T01:55:00.000-04:00

Song Challenge: A Song that makes me Sad.

What is more sorrowful than to see suffering, and to see false hope offered?

"Sing for the Moment" Eminem.

This is a song I can't recommend you listen to, mainly because of the language content. I found it in a time in my life when language in music didn't bother me that much, which I'm finding I can't say anymore.

But I'll stand by my assessment of the accuracy of this songs lyrics. I may not have a ton of respect for Eminem, but I will say that I have no doubt that he loves Detroit, will work for that city to be great again, and that he has a great amount of musical talent, especially lyrically.

It's a song about brokenness. About inner city kids struggling to have hope, and not sure who or what to turn to. How being a rapper is a business while also finding that he's an idol for these kids who have nothing else to cling to but knowing someone got out- someone could do it.

I guess words ..... they can be great

Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate

It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make

Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum

Now how the **** did this metamorphosis happen

From standin' on corners and porches just rappin'

To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ***

They think there's nothing in their future. This song, more than many others, captures the essence of despair of not having hope. It's the American dream that happened for someone, but probably... not for them.

Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me

It's about music being part of your soul. About channeling some of the anguish, hurt, intense anger- all things that arise in broken homes. About not being able to trust anyone. About no one trusting you.

He's a problem child

And what bothers him all comes out

when he talks about his ******' dad walkin' out

Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out

If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out

About waiting for something to push one over the edge, and just wondering when.

About the absence of peace. Entirely.

In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum

It's also about responsibility- and attacks from the media holding rappers responsible for the violence in
youth. Personally, I think there's both sides to that coin. But I won't argue with Eminem when he says

They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the ***** cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the ***** affectin' our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail

The song concludes with Eminem talking about why his influence is important- so those kids can see that someone did get out. That it's possible. That dreams can enter reality, and that their future isn't necessarily just like their present.

That there's hope.

That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing

Except for a dream, and a *****' rap magazine

Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long

Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs

Or for anyone who's ever been through **** in their lives

Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die

Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe

We're nothin' to you but we're the ******' **** in they eyes

That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it,

squeeze it and hold it

Cause we consider these minutes golden

And maybe they'll admit it when we're goneJust let our spirits live on,

through our lyrics that you hear in our

songs and we can...

So I give Eminem credit where credit is due.

He writes with vibrance, shocking honesty, and he certainly knows how to reach people. He has a passion and energy for his city that I think is inspiring. He's not the only one. A good friend of mine, Dean, also has a passion for Detroit. Check out his journeys to providing real hope to Detroit here.

Too bad Eminem's wishes are a waste. This song to me, will always represent the tragedy of the lost world. It's the perfect reminder of where we would be without Jesus Christ's sacrifice, and I think that's a perspective worth having (not that you should listen to the song to achieve that).

There can be no hope without a Savior. So this song makes me sad because it reminds me of how many young people are lost, hurt, angry, betrayed, and haven't turned to the Shepherd, the Healer, the Judge, and the Faithful, Almighty God.

Wedding 2: Assyrian Ceremony and Reception

2011-06-22T01:50:00.002-04:00

"Hey Jason, we have another wedding to go to this month- one of the girls from my small group is getting married."

"Ok- sounds good. Details?"

"Well, for starters, it's Assyrian! Sunday, June 18th.

Ceremony is at 1:30and the reception is at.... 6:30pm...huh..."

"Why on earth would the reception be so much later than the ceremony?"

"I have no idea...."

Thus began the adventure of the Assyrian Wedding. It was between the wedding of my very dear friend Grace and her fiance, Mark. Grace and I have had the pleasure of being in the same small group for the past year, and also in the same accountability group. We've shared praises, prayers, fears, sins, and more than anything, a deep love for God and His Word. I love, love, love her.

Ceremony
The ceremony was not in the Assyrian church, so the only different things that I noticed were mainly in the audience, and also of course, the assyrian homily. I'll comment first on the cultural differences I noticed, and then more importantly, on the ceremony. My apologies that some of the photos aren't very good quality. I didn't have the best seat for photo taking.

1) Far less attendee's than the reception. The reception had easily 2x the amount of people than the ceremony.

2) Assyrians and (middle easterners in general) are a noisy bunch. Through talking to my friends at the wedding, they explained that it's not seen as rude to talk during processionals, or essentially when someone like the Pastor or couple are silent. So when Grace and Mark took communion together, everyone, including the Assyrian pastor and bridesmaids started chatting.

3) The wedding ceremony and reception are usually held with hours in between in middle eastern customs. Jason and I were surprised by this. That explained our queries at the beginning.

What I noticed...
a broadly smiling man waiting eagerly. It was clear to me that the other details of a wedding that might distract someone were far from his mind. He was excited to see his bride.

I noticed that each attendant, and the matron of honor (the older sister of one of the amazing girls in my small group)- couldn't stop grinning. That's usually true, it just seemed to really stand out to me in this processional. I can say from personal experience, that there are few things as happy and wonderful than getting to participate in a couple's wedding that you know are made for each other and that God made them that way. Sharing, as a witness to that Covenant, is simply wonderful.

I noticed that as Grace walked down the aisle, given away by her brother, she looked not only absolutely beautiful, but completely serene and so full of peace. And yet at the same time, she looked, well... impatient. After all, I know her feelings on the day. Though her wedding and reception was well planned, and the guests wonderfully cared for, the day was not about those things. Though there was dancing, and fabulous food, and lots of music, it was about two people coming together before God, and being united through Him.

She wouldn't have cared if something had gone wrong, so long as she was able to marry Mark. Which, she did. :) Yet ready as she was to be a married woman, she took everything in stride, at a pace that was appropriate. She delicately walked down the aisle.

During the ceremony, I noticed how Grace and Mark sometimes fell into almost forgetting that others were around. Their eyes were for each other, offering smiles and joy- or, as the Assyrian homily said (from what I could gather) and the grace of God to each other. They were talking to each other, laughing at each other, simply enjoying every moment of a very busy and long day.

I noticed how the Pastor joked how they had already joined hands, because it was so obvious to everyone that there was not an option of not holding each others hands throughout the ceremony. No letting go.

One of my most favorite photos I was able to get from my middle of the row seat was this one. It captures what their wedding was all about. Submitting, surrendering, coming before Almighty God through the power of the Cross. And, the cross was far more important, and far more emphasized, than either of them.

They were vessels of God's glory that day. And, I am sure- in the days to come. I am so proud to say that like the last wedding I went to, it was an event to share the Gospel, proclaim Truth, and to point people to Jesus.

What higher purpose is there?

They were charged with no higher calling than to be worthy of the name of Christ. To be His love to each other. To love as Christ demonstrated. To submit.

There was humor. Grace is a wide variety of facial expressions.

I love all of them.

This is an expression I saw many, many times that night.

So many times I saw her look like at him with an expression that I can guess at. It's one I have a lot too, but especially when Jason reads the Bible to me, or we confess sins to each other. Or when we're in church together. Or when he tells me that soon I'll get a kitty.

best friend.

admiration.

trust.

respect that has been earned through many trials.

absolute security.

faith.

hope and expectations for the future.

to name a few facets.

I loved seeing them pray together.

From talking to Grace, I know that's a habit of theirs, a good one.

They had special music, Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I Will Be Here." Mark sang all the words to his wife, though only she could hear.

Reception
A few quick photos of the setting... and the cake :)

Now I have to say that I was thrilled to go to this reception. I'd been told by the girls in my small group some of the Assyrian traditions, like the assyrian wedding scarves. I hope to make them at some point, it would be a wonderful experience and project.

Here are some more photos of them that I could find. It was surprisingly difficult to find on the internet. I did however, find the most amusing video of an old white man doing a "wedding napkin dance." I had to share.

So I knew that the women would dance with those scarves, which make a ton of noise. The men dance with canes that have beads all over them as well.

Here, the women were getting ready for something: The entrance of the King and Queen of the night, as I found out- as soon as the bride and groom entered.

As soon as they entered, they were swallowed.

That's what I could describe it anyways. They were immediately surrounded by dancing women, doing a traditional wedding entrance dance, called the Khigga. As mentioned prior, the women danced with yalekhta, the men copala. They entered, also dancing enthusiastically, dancing all the way to their cake, where they cut it together.

It then turned into a giant line dance. This line dance wove around tables, in and out of the reception doors, always moving. Led by the guy holding the large copala, he was a great dancer.

The music and dancing was wonderful to watch, though hard to figure out. The step pattern was a mix of side to sides and front to backs, all in a left left then right right left left right left right constantly switching. Over the night Jason seemed to kind of get the hang of it, I just... well, faked it. In my defense, at least I tried it, and I did have a ton of fun, but I couldn't tell who to follow, and I couldn't see people's steps half the time. It was not ideal learning conditions.

Eventually the bride and groom made it to their table, where they continued to dance and clap along while the guests line danced all over the place.

What I noticed...

Mark is not Assyrian. But aside from not looking the role, you wouldn't have known that. He certainly seemed to enjoy the dances and festivities just as much if not more than any Assyrian there. He also knew his stuff. He had clearly put in time and effort.

I know from Grace that he's been learning the language, not only speaking it, but also reading and writing, which some of my Assyrian small group ladies can't even do. Impressive, for many reasons, two being...

1) It's always difficult to understand, let alone embrace and participate in a culture that is not your own.

2) Mark went the extra mile here, more than any of us can probably ever know. I know that it was not an easy integration of two families, Grace's background being Assyrian, his being Korean. Some took marrying outside of the Assyrian "clan" as not right, and rather than give up, or make Grace shoulder all the burden of mediating between her husband and her culture, he is making so many important (and cool) aspects of her culture his.

I've only met him once. At the wedding. But you don't have to know a person for a grand amount of time to tell some very fundamental things about them. I know that Mark loves Jesus Christ. I know that Mark is striving (and succeeding I'd say) at loving her as Jesus loved the church.

Most Awesome Part of Reception
How can I tell those things? Apart from witnessing them together, the praises Grace has given me over the months? One large indicator was one of the coolest things I've ever seen at a wedding.

After the toasts and well wishes from his father, and the best man and matron of honor, the MC announced that Mark would like to address the guests. He and Grace stood together... and he promised to only speak for 2 minutes.

They thanked the guests... and then said that they wanted to share something with us, and had agreed that now was the time to do it.

The union they had just covenanted became so clear in this moment.

With Mark leading, and speaking the words they both had chosen and whole heartedly believed together, they shared the Gospel. The Truth of Scripture. The love of Jesus Christ. The Good News. He said he knew there were lots of different faiths and belief systems in the room, but that God had revealed Himself in the Bible, and wanted sinners to be reconciled with Him.

To be honest, I don't remember the exact points that they shared. I remember with absolute clarity the feeling that I was bursting with pride over my friends (Mark and I were friends by the point, even though he probably still doesn't know it!) and their amazing testimony to our Savior. Myself, and the other members of my table, most of whom were all members of Harvest- heartily "Amen'd!" during his speech. It was not voluntary, but essential. We were told later that it gave them much needed encouragement. I was thrilled to be a help in such an awesome thing.

Then came a few American traditions- the bride danced with her brother, and the groom then cut in. I was surprised that it was Rascal Flats for the first song, and a Christian song I didn't know for the second. I think I expected something Assyrian.

I didn't know the words, but I caught many of them- it was about God's design in bringing two lives together.
Mark knew all the words, and sang them to his wife.

Congratulations to both of you!! I am proud to know such wonderfully vibrant, faithful people. I look forward to our next encounters with a ton of excitement, and knowing that our friendship is already built upon the best foundation.

My Daddy

2011-06-19T18:09:00.000-04:00

My Dad is not a perfect man. Not one is. But he comes really close.

My dad taught me to love adventures, and to make them yourself. With him I've explored gold dredges, beaches, mountains, eagle's nests, remote villages.

I've traveled all over Alaska, from the beaches on the Kenai Peninsula to the beaches in Nome. This photo is Bishops Beach in Homer, Alaska.

With my dad, we've driven across

across all the states in New England, shared a lobster dinner on the coast of Maine and seen from the top of the Empire State building.

The lobster dinner was delicious, but overrated we both decided. Given the choice, we'd rather have Alaskan King Crab.

However... the company at this particular feast did add to the experience....

That was one very experienced and determined sea gull. He seemed upset and miffed that we didn't feed him immediately.

The moment my dad got up he took his place at the table... grabbed a napkin and ate it. Then he flew off.

We've visited countless museums. My dad taught me patience and how to appreciate things that are really old. Or are at least modeled after old things. This museum was the Mystic Seaport: The Museum of America and the Sea. It was more interesting to my dad, but that doesn't mean I didn't really enjoy it.

When he visited in Chicago, we visited the Museum of Science and Industry. It was a huge hit. Again, it made me appreciate how my dad helped me pick a man worth marrying... Jason and my dad are very similar in many ways.... especially museums.

We've explored tons of waterfalls all over Alaska. Gorgeous and private. We also road tripped to see "The Great One," Niagara Falls. That was a ton of fun.

We went to check out the big cities we'd never seen. Boston. New York City. We got stuck in Manhattan with our car in New Jersey and had to take a $60 cab ride back over. But it was worth it.

And most of all, I have amazing memories of how my dad helped us in our wedding. Helped pay for it, helped give assurances on my decisions. I was sad, he couldn't be there a lot during the process of planning the big day, but really, he didn't need to be. He'd already prepared me for the trials, how to make decisions, how to manage money wisely, and most importantly, how to look for a godly man.

My dad's never been perfect, he never will be. But he's a fantastic father who has never let me down. He's helped teach me, and some of the most profitable conversations I've ever had have been with my father. I learned so much from him growing up, and I know I still do so now and in the years to come. He never claimed to have all the answers, he never claimed to always live like he should. But he taught me where to go for the answers: God's Word. And he taught me to strive to live how Jesus wants us to, even if we may never achieve it perfectly.

I'm so proud to be his daughter. Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you.

Coming soon: my first Assyrian Wedding! Preview...

2011-06-19T01:02:00.000-04:00

Coming soon! My blog about my first Assyrian wedding and what I noticed. This will make the second wedding of the summer, and the second in Chicago. To tide you over... and to share some photos of my adventure right away... Enjoy! More to come as soon as possible. So much to say about this wedding... what a wonderful experience tonight was.

Super Pretty Dress... details soon!

God-honoring ceremony: thing that came to my mind: service.

Assyrian traditions!

Learning... how to dance...

Recipe: Espresso Chili Rub Chicken

2011-06-17T22:05:00.000-04:00

Great recipe for so many reasons: it's fast, it's healthy, it's full of flavor, it's easy to modify.

This is a wonderful seasoning rub that you can create ahead of time and use at your convenience as well, goes really well with chicken, beef or seafood. I think it would do pretty well on a pork tenderloin as well.

Ingredients:

2 tbsp dark brown sugar

1 tbsp ground espresso coffee

1 tbps ground coriander

2 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground ginger

1-2 tsp red chile flakes or chili powder

salt and pepper

For my recipe, I used two boneless, skinless, chicken breasts that I cut into slices, so I could have strips for making wraps or setting on top of rice, etc. I also modified the recipe to include less sugar, and instead of chile flakes I used a fresh ground red (bright red!) pepper that I found in the Mexican section of our market. All the packaging was in Spanish, but I can tell you it added a ton of heat. Leaves me wondering what kind of peppers they used!

After tossing the chicken in the rub and coating it evenly, I put it in a skillet, poured two tbsp of white wine over and cooked it on high heat. The wine helped all the ingredients to stick to the chicken nice and evenly. Very tasty.

I decided to make a wrap with mine; using a garden spinach tortilla, greek yogurt, and red leaf lettuce to cool down some of the spice. Jason used hummus and cucumber to do the same.

Tampering with blog design...

2011-06-15T15:34:00.001-04:00

I'm trying a few new things here on the blog site... pages, re-labeling all of my posts for greater consistency... and hoping to add a few elements to class it up a bit.

It's a bit more difficult than I expected, so slow going from here, but in the end I hope it will be more useful, easier navigation, and more enjoyable. Plus look cooler.

Day 3: A song that makes you happy

2011-06-14T14:29:00.000-04:00

Day 3: a song that makes me happy...

There's a lot of them out there. A song for each mood actually. About (ages ago) I think a month? I endeavored to make mix cd's for whomever requested them first on my twitter and facebook pages (see, it's totally worth following my antics). I've since actually made progress, I promise to those waiting eagerly. There's so much music out there! So many songs that have touched my memory in specific ways, tied to experiences.

This song is one that makes me happy, but I don't think I'd like it much if not for the lyrics. They are so true, so powerfully packed with things I need to constantly remember. That's what strikes me. And maybe happy is a misleading word, as so much thankfulness and awe at ou Savior.

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn't mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future's so far
My heart is so frail
I think I'd rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown But You love me anyway I am the sweat from Your brow But You love me anyway I am the nail in Your wrist But You love me anyway I am Judas' kiss But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

Currently reading books

2011-06-09T21:37:00.000-04:00

I like to read lots of different things all at once. I don't give them all equal reading times normally... but there's always a couple books I'm chipping away at each month.

This month:

Crazy Love, Francis Chan.

I can honestly say this book is changing my life. It's not just the book though, it's the combination of my pastor's preaching and the same themes and convictions echoed in different ways by Chan. This is one of those few books that I can honestly saying that instead of just reading, critiquing, evaluating from a literary or theological viewpoint and putting down; it's actually made it past internalizing and has changed my actions, attitudes and way I approach things. If you're thinking of reading this book- do it. But do not read it fast or you'll whiz past the point of his book: it's not about understanding something new; but DOING it. I'm in chapter 8 now, doing this as a weekly study with my women's small group at Harvest Bible Chapel; my awesome church.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling.

I love fiction, and I love light reading. I've really enjoyed Harry Potter. The plot is actually quite good, the characters are super, super funny- it's not something I'll give my kids to read until I deem they're old enough- but I love the books.

Desiring God, John Piper.

I was able to get this book for free from Desiring God online; the goal was to celebrate the books 25th anniversary with online book discussions led by Piper himself. I've heard so much about this book that I wanted to read it, but I've not really enjoyed it. Much of that comes from the theological differences I have with Piper, and also I feel he uses way too many words to say things that are obvious. I'm only in chapter 4 at the moment, but I do plan on finishing the thing.

Has Christianity Failed You? Ravi Zacharias.

I love Ravi. I wish I owned all his books. Working on that part. This one was a Christmas gift; (great gift!) and it's dense, so I'm taking it slow. I love the approach it takes, because it addresses so many comments or reasons (excuses, let's be honest) that people have left the church and rejected Jesus Christ. Ravi is the perfect person to write on this subject. I'm still in Chapter 2 on this one... it's going to take a while to really digest.

Love Wins, Rob Bell.

I put this book on hold a month before it was even released, and only today was I able to pick it up at the library. That alone should tell you why I'm reading it. It was one of the books that had a video intro that lead to controversy and lots of conversations about it; both from Christians and the lost. It's a best seller, many of my coworkers and people I know have read it, and I want to know what it says. I trust many pastors and mentors and their reviews of it; but before I say anything beyond I'm almost sure it's heresy I'll finish the book myself. I haven't read anything but the cover at the moment.

Are you reading anything fun? Serious? Life changing? New?

Things you need in a friend.

2011-06-08T00:01:00.000-04:00

One of the many things I love about being a Christian is that it's so unifying. To a Christian, the most important thing and person in our lives is Jesus Christ, and the bond between people who love Jesus doesn't matter if they've ever met before.

We all stand equal in God's eyes, no matter how long we've been a Christian, no matter what we've done in the past or will do in the future, our backgrounds, our circumstances, nothing puts us on better or worse standing in the presence of God, and in His church.

Tonight I had the lovely experience to gain a new Christian friend, who reminded me in so many ways of how precious friends are. A true friend is one who loves; one who sees your triumphs and failures and still loves you completely out of the grace of Jesus Christ. And you don't have to have known people for a very long time to know if the love of Jesus is the driving power in their life.
And, if it is- it's a wonderful foundation of a friendship. When you have in common the most important thing your life, the things you may not have in common are far less important or divisive. Age, culture, education, careers, even language barriers! etc- far less essential than knowing, loving and following Jesus and serving Him.

Being focused on the world to come puts this temporary world in the correct perspective. Christian friends help you keep that focus. Seek them out! They are so valuable, and essential. We cannot fervently follow Christ by ourselves: we need accountability, encouragement, and to work together for His kingdom.

Lord, keep our eyes heavenwards as you direct our hands and feet towards this world.

day 02 - your least favorite song

2011-06-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

This is much easier than picking a favorite.

I'd have to say that the first song that comes to my head... though many qualify, might be the "Hillsdale College Anthem." Sorry DJ $crilla... I just can't embrace this. Though I'll admit I had a good time when you came and played at the college.

and just in case you needed a refresher on those lyrics...

[Chorus]
I’m At Da’ Hill…. [I’m At Da’ Hill…]
I’m At Da’ Hill…. [I’m At Da’ Hill…]
I’m At Da’ Hilllllllllll…..
I’m At Da’ Hill…. [I’m At Da’ Hill…]
You know the deal….They do it real….
Just stop and chill…….And what you’ hear?!?!
I’m Hillsdale [I’m Hillsdale…]
You Hillsdale [You Hillsdale…]
I’m Hillsdale [I’m Hillsdale…]
We’re Hillsdale [We’re Hillsdale…]

Yeah, and they’ll get it popping’/ Keeping it 100, When they’re coming, you can’t stop it/
Nobody here can top ‘em/ For real, yeah, Hillsdale – I think we’ve got a problem/

[Verse 1]

Y’all think I do it for the heck of it…/
Don’t confuse it, I do it for schools that go and represent/
And nah It ain’t a lie, I’ll be clear when I mention/
Pi Beta Phi brought this here to my attention/
I’m seeking out some feelers, While reaching out to twitters…/
Trending I got me some jitters, I’m drinking on some Jitters/
Then I hit up Checker Records, I’m checking for my record/
DJ $crilla – ME MYSELF & I – Better check and get it/
I just ask that, you can pass that, to all the “Mac Shack”/
And blast that -- so alum can come and have a flashback/
About they’re old residence, I’m talking Old’s Residence/
The home of first timers, and I’m just being honest/

[Verse 2]

Bout to hit the Garden Party, or maybe Otter’s Army/
Cause the Chargers bring is harder than the throttles on Bugatti’s/
It’s a problem, and you probably, Should dodge ‘em if you shoddy/
Cause we’ll drop ‘em, ain’t no topping’ from a Charger who named Charlie/
And Kappa’s are my medicine…/
Sigma Chi and Delt Sig can attest to all my evidence/
If I need some charm help, then you know I better get/
Penny Arn, like the Delt's, cause they’re discussing etiquette/
And the ATO’s -- Where the ladies go, for sho’, and that’s so evident/
Call me when y’all go and ball at the President’s/
No matter what house you in or your tenements/
Greek Week, Greek’s be fly, they get higher than a Pegasus/

[Verse 3]

Meet me at the clock tower, at the hour 10:18/
It’ll be me & - S.A.B. / Getting down, and yes it be…/
A central calling for you to, Bring ‘em all in the view of/
Getting down with the DJ sound at Centralhallapalooza/
See we run it like a track meet, Where none of them are faculty/
We could hit up “Pimpson”, I mean Simpson with the athletes/
I hear ‘em talking like it’s dinner time…/
Ain’t no shame your walk, when walking to the Finishline/

Wedding One

2011-06-05T23:28:00.002-04:00

Today was the first wedding of the season, and it was not alone. I was well aware of multiple Hillsdale weddings occurring this joyous June 5. Truly, it was a great day for weddings.

This one was in Chicago. Friends we know, but even more exciting, friends that we will soon know better due to the close proximity they'll live. A few blocks down our street.

Regardless if you're already married, engaged, or single, people notice weddings. They notice what distinguishes them from other weddings, what things are kept in tradition, etc.
What did I notice, then?

I noticed the giant stained glass windows all in the auditorium where Hannah and Robert got married. IT was on Northwestern's campus. Gorgeous windows, and lighting, though the meanings in the glass were less than church appropriate, all very humanist.

I noticed the bride trying desperately trying not to cry.

She was so happy.
That is as large as Hannah's smile can be.

I noticed her father beaming with pride (as well he should).

As she walked down that aisle, she took her time. She took moments to look at every row, scanning each face; each one making her smile more- each one making her a bit closer to crying.

I noticed after I noticed her face; that her dress is exquisitely beautiful. It's perfect for her. Her veil is long and delicate.

I noticed her cute shoes.

They were here "something new."

Just barely visible, peeking out under her graceful dress.

I noticed that she was a thoughtful teacher and friend: she made the bouquet toss for those 21 and under. She seemed as excited as those about to rush for it; possibly because as a bride I know that tossing the bouquet is a ton of fun, and also because she no longer needed to catch it.

She was patient, assembled all her students and friends and nieces... and let it fly. It was immediately snatched. I also noticed how practical her gown is as well. Not once in the event did trip her, or keep her from hopping from table to table. It was beautiful, and like the mark of any well chosen dress; it was perfectly Hannah.

and finally... There's nothing like watching a bride and groom during their wedding and reception.

You've never seen smiles until then, it seems.

Hannah and Robert are always smiling anyways, but tonight there was nothing in their way. No rehearsals to get to, no worries about jobs this week, or putting plans together. They were able to enjoy their wedding, their family, their friends.

I noticed they were fully part of every moment: following along and leading during the hymn, nodding along and heartily agreeing with the pastors sermon...

always smiling and looking at each other...

.... complete agreement.

Complementing each other.

I noticed that there were many moments that Hannah took in where she just looked at her new husband in what can only be described as a mix of respect, love and giddiness.

It was the kind of tender reflection that I remember well from my wedding... making sure to take time out of the day to remember the details.

But... more than anything that I noticed that their wedding was not centered around the happy new couple. They oriented their wedding to be a demonstration of the Glory of Almighty God. The Scripture they chose, the sermon, the hymns, and most importantly, how they honor each other; all of these things made it about Jesus Christ and not themselves. What a fantastic testimony they are! Their joy is not from themselves, but stemming from their love for their Savior, who brought them together.

I wanted to shake their pastor's hand and tell him that I was so happy that instead of a mushy lovey-dovey sermon, or a sermon focused on the union of man and woman; he shared the Gospel. Hard core too... it was a direct question to those in the audience that today was an encounter with Jesus Christ.

Today everyone crossed paths with Jesus Christ.
Everyone there was told how Jesus Christ has pursued us.
The Pastor shared that now the choice is how to respond to the 'proposal' that Jesus has placed before us: ultimately to repent, believe and follow Jesus or to reject Him.
I hope all the rest of the weddings I see this summer do such an excellent job of pointing to the point of this temporal life: our Savior. We have no other purpose but to serve Him.

Presenting: Mr. and Mrs. Robert McConnell!

As I signed their guestbook:

"Your wedding demonstrated the Glory of God. I know that your marriage will do the same! Congratulations!"

It's going to be a great summer.

The Weddings Begin

2011-06-04T12:49:00.001-04:00

Summer at my age is always a season of weddings. There's always the trading of "How many weddings do you have this summer? How many can you go to?" and etc.

Tomorrow begins the wedding season for Jason and I, right here in our own city of Evanston, IL with this lovely couple: Hannah Dixon and Robert McConnell. They both live here in Evanston, and even though Hannah and I were never at Hillsdale at the same time, Jason and I have had the pleasure of getting to know them.

And it has been such a pleasure. Joyful, exuberant, thoughtful, inspiring talented, godly- these are just a few of the wonderful ways to describe what I've found in these two people. Not to mention very, very funny and a love for Jonathan Edwards. (In a game once Robert named Edwards as his superhero).

It's obvious how well suited they are for each other, how they convict and urge each other towards Christ, how Robert leads and Hannah excitedly follows in their relationship. They are best friends. I am very excited to share in the witness of their Covenantal union tomorrow, and to have the blessing of living a few blocks away from them.

To Hannah and Robert: God bless you in all you do, put Him first always, and base everything in your marriage around the glory and love of Jesus Christ.

Day 1: Favorite song

2011-06-03T12:17:00.001-04:00

What an infinitely silly question. To pick a favorite of so many choices is impossible.
So I'll tell you the one that I've been listening to a ton lately, and every time I hear it, my response is the same: exuberant joy and thankfulness.
Christ is Risen from the Dead: Matt Maher

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

Sing it, o death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

30 day song challenge.

2011-06-02T13:23:00.001-04:00

Contrary to the idea that this might be solely fun... which of course, it is fun, I think this could have some value. There's always something good about pausing, retrospection... seeing where your life has been and where you hope it will be by the grace of God.

That said, I blame Jenny Buehrer for inspiring me to do this latest 30 day challenge. I do not have any plans to complete it in 30 days.

where most of my memories with music are made: the road

day 01 - your favorite song

day 02 - your least favorite song

day 03 - a song that makes you happy

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to

day 09 - a song that you can dance to

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep

day 11 - a song from your favorite band

day 12 - a song from a band you hate

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love

day 15 - a song that describes you

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio

day 19 - a song from your favorite album

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty

day 29 - a song from your childhood

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

What I call... panic cleaning.

2011-06-02T13:20:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been working 40 hours a week, which has really thrown my routine off. Meaning, the house is kind of mess, laundry hasn't been done in.. a few weeks... and almost every surface has clutter on it.

Thus began the week of panic cleaning- we have visitors coming (Finnegans, if you read this, I'm so glad you're coming... this all needed to happen. Glad you could be the catalyst). We also have a wedding on Sunday, and then visitors coming soon as well. So time to get caught up on things that have long needed completion.

There's immense satisfaction in completing projects in the home. Jason calls this nesting, and he might be right, but either way there's no place I love more here in Chicago than being in my apartment. Or maybe a sushi restaurant.

Project 1: building a new shelf in my hutch to hold my newly acquired china.
Jason and I frequent thrift shops, and one evening I happened upon an almost complete set of china for 12 settings that I was able to get for $40. A grand bargain. But I had no where to put it until yesterday..

I never thought I'd be the girl who was thrilled to have china. I never thought I'd enjoy cleaning either, but this seems to be one of those things that when it's yours- it's different. Kind of like changing a baby's diapers . If it 's yours.. then it's different.

Cannot find the pattern for this one: have teacups, saucers, a few plates and 2 platters.

Amcrest Autumn Breeze: Main set

It's not the most exciting thing in the scope of the world... but it means a lot to me to have nice things to host people and to serve tea in, something I'm very much looking forward to.

What I want my life to be about...

2011-05-24T19:51:00.001-04:00

I follow a lot of blogs through google reader. And I mean a lot. My favorites (besides my friends) are mainly pastors, teachers- Christians who are living the Gospel and making a true difference for our Lord and Savior. Backing what they say with how they live, and what they say is straight from Scripture. I love it.
I'm more and more convinced that the Lord is working greatly all around us, and we have to be actively alerting ourselves to what's going on, or we'll allow ourselves to be distracted by all the sin and pain in this world. There's hope out there too. God is working, God is constantly manifesting His glory, God is building His church. I'm a big fan of following what He's doing through social media and other more traditional mediums- and passing it on. If you follow me on google reader... you already know that, and I apologize.

This post touched me on such a purposeful, deep, longing- level that I had to share it in as many ways I could. Especially since the Lord has been actively preparing my heart, and my husbands for children, growing us, quite deliberately...

Foggy Boots and a Bible

Author: Pastor Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington.
Setting: part of a celebrating children theme at his church, highlighting Jesus's interaction with small ones. Given that Seattle is not a family-friendly city, it's Pastor Marks' goal to change that in many ways- reaching out to it's citizens... and just as much to make as many Christian families as possible. Win.
Characters: a story of Pastor Mark and his (at the time) two year old son, Zach.

Read the whole article, but here are some of my favorite sections.

In 50 years, who is going to preach the gospel in the city? Who is going to plant the churches that reach the new generations? Who is going to continue the work forward? That should be your grandkids. That should be my grandkids. Having children is not just about you getting your emotional needs met and having the perfect Christmas card photo where you all have matching hats. That’s not the Biblical point.

The Biblical point is you want your children to multiply fruitfully and to serve God and to extend his influence and to bring the good news of Christ from generation to generation. If the statistics are true and the majority of people that are having children these days are not Christians, who are not living in wisdom, then isn’t it going to be important that we send a lot of kids out there to connect with them and tell them about Jesus? It’s hugely important. It only takes one generation for a nation to go from Christian to post-Christian.

The intro to his post is very convicting, especially in a culture where the decision to have kids is made selfishly: couples only wanting a few kids, deciding ahead of time to fashion their family how they want to, often without consulting God. I'm not against birth control across the board, but I'm definitely against many of the attitudes that go along with it. But that's not the point today- so going back to what we should want as Christians, as members of God's church, and as parents:

I had one of the most encouraging experiences with my son, Zac, this week. It was magnificent. My son is a Bible freak. He reads the Bible at least an hour a day. He always wants to play act the Bible stories. One of us is Jonah. One of us is the whale. One of us is David. One of us is Goliath. One of us is Peter. One of us is John. We’re always playing some sort of story. And this week, I got up early with him and we had breakfast, read the Bible, and wrestled and played a little David and Goliath and he slew me, and then I had to get to work.

In order to avoid copy and pasting the whole article (just go read it!) what happened: Zach asked if he could come along with his father to help minister to a man in a hospital, who had no use of his lower body and had been in the hospital for quite some time. Keep in mind his son is just over two years old.

Zac looked at me and said, “Well, I wanna go, too.” I said, “Well, Zackie, I’m his pastor.” He said, “I’ll be his pastor.” I thought, God rebuke me. You’re right. He should go with me. So, I told him he could come with me, and he put on his froggy boots and grabbed his Bible.

This is how I want to raise my kids. I want my children to point directly to Jesus Christ; and for us to do ministry together and glorify God side by side. I want them to see their mommy and daddy doing things for people and to help too. I want them to love their Bible more than Curious George or Dr.Seuss (my favorite books as a child... and... still pretty awesome).

So they went off to the hospital... and sat with the man for an hour. Together...

...my son sat on my lap for about an hour. Two years old. No toys, no nothing, and we talked with this guy. A two year old boy. And he was sitting on my shoulders and hanging out. He was being obedient and attentive, and he was listening to all the things that the Lord was teaching this guy. And we got all done and I said, “Zac, you need to pray for him.” Zac said, “Okay.” He bowed his head, and quietly prayed that God would heal him and touch his feet, and touch his legs, and he was paying attention and he knew what to pray for.

Leading by example.
Instilling children how to approach our loving, powerful God.
Learning from my children how to love God without my own baggage as an adult.
To have a pattern of interaction where it's all about God. To have my relationship with my children be about Jesus.

I believe this understanding of what family life could be like- what it should be like, can be or everyone, whether married or single, parenting or not. Even for those who may not be able to have children, for God gives us all opportunities to learn from each other, to teach others, to pass on the Gospel. No matter the circumstance, it's a model of what I want. It inspires me, and I'm not gonna lie, reading the article made me cry a little bit.

It reaches a desire within me that God Himself gave me.

We left and I looked at Zac and it was like he was a 20-year-old man. I mean, it was amazing, my little co-pastor. I took him out to lunch, and we sat at lunch, and he asked me questions for about a half hour on ministry. “Daddy, how often do you do this?” “What do you pray for?” “What parts of the Bible do you tell them?” “What if they’re not Christians?” He had all these great questions about how to be a pastor. I was just amazingly encouraged. I put him in the car and came home. I told Grace, “This is the like the best day I’ve ever had in my whole life.” It was amazing.

Don't you want this in your life? How could you not want that to be your family?

A change in Perspective: An Event I can't ever Forget

2011-05-02T14:42:00.001-04:00

They (statistical scientists) say it takes Americans about 3 months to forget things that occur on a national scale, including momentous things. By forget, this study meant- move on in a somewhat daily routine, returning to a pattern of behavior where the momentous event is not part of thought.

I heard this 10 years ago, meaning that I learned it right before 9/11. I remember wondering if in 3 months how much would have returned to resemble the pre-9/11 USA, and to a certain extent it happened. To an extent it's natural, inevitable- healthy. To some extent, it reveals the selfishness of our society and lives.

We live in a world so inundated by forms of news- television broadcasts, newspapers, magazines, and all forms of internet social media that push word of mouth happenings at seeming lightning speed. I myself regret to admit that I get most of my news first from twitter. I'll stick to that though, because it works surprisingly well, though it will never be reliable or replace well done journalism. But the amount of news we have, updated by the second- it's always pushing us forward- what will happen next? How does this impact the next steps? In a globally connected world- any event is the springboard for a whole web of "what's nexts?" I wonder how soon the 'what's nexts' overshadow the original event.

But today, I'm not talking about 9/11 or the news that Bin Laden is dead that our President announced last night. I've realized that I've made a step in incorporating a momentous event in my everyday lifestyle. And it's thrilling me!

What I'm talking about is the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

By all standards, this should have been forgotten long ago. Our lives should go on without really thinking that God became man, took our sins upon himself, dying as a pure sacrifice, and rose from the grave.

Even for myself, this was something that I "knew" but have had so much trouble really believing- meaning that it's a belief so hugely essential to who I now am- a Christian. My daily life should be defined by reflecting the love of God who provided grace and mercy to provide a new verdict for my life: no condemnation for those found in Jesus Christ.

This past Easter celebration Sunday some things "clicked" in my perspective. Joining with thousands in joyful shouts that our Savior is ALIVE, and that Hell has no victory, and death no sting... I felt as if the eyes of my soul were opened further to the Truth of Jesus Christ. Never have I been so joyous, so bursting with excitement, hope- life.

Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
The glory of God has defeated the night!
Oh death! Where is your sting?
Oh hell! Where is your victory?
Oh Church! Come stand in the light!
Our God is not dead, he's alive! he's alive!

Christ is Risen From the Dead- Matt Maher

Nothing else is as wonderful as this. The Gospel is priority One. There are a ton of other things in my life- some are good, some are less good- but regardless, none are as valuable, as beneficial, worth my time and efforts as Jesus Christ is, and the things of His Church. Something I'd known semantically, but intrinsically- my priorities have always been wrong. It's always been a battle, and it always will be- but now I'm further equipped, out of joy and love to cast aside all else.

I can finally see things much closer to how I should: instead of seeing a thing for if it's good or bad, I see things in "how much is this about Jesus?" My energies should be about Jesus. He's indescribable. I want to spend my thoughts and energies working on describing Him, instead of on lesser things. He saves us- I want to proclaim His Glory rather than things that don't.

The most obvious change I've seen in myself is that I've been seeing a boldness I didn't know I possessed, and it's one that is stemming naturally out of a mind that is more and more enthused with my Savior. I've been cutting things out of my life that aren't about Him; and as a result all I want to talk about is Jesus. I'm also more and more using His Name: a name of Power, of Salvation- so much more. I'm less and less worried about my coworkers who would be made nervous about knowing and interacting with a crazy Christian, but more and more concerned that they don't know Jesus.

Not very traditional: but amazing- are these photos from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, which held one of the largest church services in the country- at Quest Field. Multiple Mars Hill campuses came together, along with thousands of new attenders, reaching over 17,000. Over 600 baptisms occurred. This is a church that I'm well familar with: solid doctrine, solid Gospel preaching: solid Scripture. And it's these faithful churches that are being blessed- and Jesus Christ is growing His Church.

Flickr stream of service photos: baptisms!

Christ is Risen: Can you See it?

My own church campus had over 40 people speak to pastors about beginning a new relationship with Christ. There is nothing more wonderful than being part of a thriving, healthy- solidly built upon the cornerstone of Jesus Christ. I am excited to be a witness to the baptisms that are coming!

A momentous event that is still remembered.

And for me- now more and more tied into my daily attitudes and actions.

This is the work of Christ in me: " He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

"'Why are you looking for the living among the dead?' asked the men. 'He is not here, but He has been resurrected!'" Luke 24:5