<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/rss2full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><rss xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" version="2.0">

<channel>
	<title>One-Year Tightrope</title>
	
	<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog</link>
	<description>On balancing living with life</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sat, 19 May 2012 17:35:19 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	
		<atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/OneYearTightrope" /><feedburner:info xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" uri="oneyeartightrope" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><item>
		<title>The Art of Suddenly</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2012/05/personal/the-art-of-suddenly/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=the-art-of-suddenly</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2012/05/personal/the-art-of-suddenly/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 May 2012 17:35:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[contingency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gradually]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[letting go]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[planning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[risk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suddenly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Zen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=327</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Life is not a quick process. Life is gradual. Life takes time. Life does not allow a re-do if your plans go awry or when some new information is revealed. All you do throughout your life is place your bets on the likely options. Then you hope. In beginning smoking, you&#8217;re hoping that the cautionary [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 190px"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/24112094@N00/6313211459" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="279" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6037/6313211459_e3c9b4b198_m.jpg" alt="279" width="180" height="240" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">279 (Photo credit: superba_)</p></div>
<p>Life is not a quick process. Life is gradual. Life takes time. Life does not allow a re-do if your plans go awry or when some new information is revealed. All you do throughout your life is place your bets on the likely options. Then you hope.</p>
<p>In beginning smoking, you&#8217;re hoping that the cautionary tales are overblown or won&#8217;t apply to you. In your relationships, you hope that you&#8217;re both right, or at least that, if you&#8217;re not right, then you&#8217;re wrong in the same ways and you&#8217;ll work well together.</p>
<p>And in the process of planning, acting, and evaluating, it&#8217;s funny how similar patterns crop up: the most logical things are the hardest to put into action; the more risk-averse you try to make your life, the riskier your circumstances become; the more you back-up-plan for failure, the more likely you are to fail.</p>
<p><span id="more-327"></span></p>
<p>And in learning these lessons, nothing changes. The rules will be the same. If you try to eliminate more risks based off your latest experience, the new risks just pop up elsewhere. Planning a back-up for your back-up is unfeasible and mostly detrimental. Quitting bad habits is still incredibly difficult, by design. Despite knowing that lying awake in worry never fixes the issue, and rather causes harm on the basis of the lying awake itself, we still have sleepless nights. Even though telling your partner about an issue is unconditionally easier within 24 hours than it is a week later (or not at all), we still bottle up our transgressions.</p>
<p>Throughout this, some of the fortunate few ultimately realize that life is gradual, but crashing isn&#8217;t. Crashing doesn&#8217;t take time. It happens gradually, but you realize it suddenly.</p>
<p>So instead of re-writing the same pattern and trying to control life&#8217;s gradual path, and instead of adopting the Zen method of letting go of everything, I&#8217;m going to try to make suddenly happen a little bit nicer this time.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to be honest. I&#8217;m going to plan and act. I&#8217;m not going to have a back-up plan. Risk is less risky when you accept it than when you try to avoid it. I&#8217;m accepting risk.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll let you know next suddenly.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=681e359b-9c2b-4229-9d71-d79aae5ef5cd" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/motivation/half-the-battle-fail-forward/' title='Half the Battle: Fail forward'>Half the Battle: Fail forward</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/balance/why-its-better-to-fail/' title='Why It&#8217;s Better to Fail'>Why It&#8217;s Better to Fail</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/organization/how-to-do-a-year-end-review/' title='How to Do a Year-End Review'>How to Do a Year-End Review</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/organization/life-coaches-useful/' title='Life Coaches: Useful? '>Life Coaches: Useful? </a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/balance/the-six-habits-of-balanced-people/' title='The Six Habits of Balanced People'>The Six Habits of Balanced People</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2012%2F05%2Fpersonal%2Fthe-art-of-suddenly%2F&amp;title=The%20Art%20of%20Suddenly" id="wpa2a_2"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/__3Ic-Zyll-E-Kt-Bb2BMSMT8As/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/__3Ic-Zyll-E-Kt-Bb2BMSMT8As/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/__3Ic-Zyll-E-Kt-Bb2BMSMT8As/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/__3Ic-Zyll-E-Kt-Bb2BMSMT8As/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2012/05/personal/the-art-of-suddenly/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Portrait of You: How Not to Ruin It</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/a-portrait-of-you-how-not-to-ruin-it/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=a-portrait-of-you-how-not-to-ruin-it</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/a-portrait-of-you-how-not-to-ruin-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2011 05:35:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Balance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[map]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[past]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[picture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[portrait]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[present]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=323</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t feel the need to tell you all about the important of clear, SMART goal setting. The purpose, point, and benefit have all been stated about a billion times throughout different media, so if you&#8217;re unclear, I know plenty of people will clear it up for you. &#160; I don&#8217;t even feel the need [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t feel the need to tell you all about the important of clear, SMART goal setting. The purpose, point, and benefit have all been stated about a billion times throughout different media, so if you&#8217;re unclear, I know plenty of people will clear it up for you.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t even feel the need to discuss the map metaphor &#8211; the one in which you establish where you are, where you&#8217;re going, and how to get there.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span id="more-323"></span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 250px"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/30011527@N05/4207563765" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="Goal Setting" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2622/4207563765_954cd50863_m.jpg" alt="Goal Setting" width="240" height="160" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image by lululemon athletica via Flickr</p></div>
<p>I like to think the reasoning for this is obvious. Why reinvent the wheel? Rather, what I want to do is help you in applying the wheel to your own life.</p>
<p>Motivational speakers and self-help guides like to talk about the map of your life and how to create it, but they make a fundamental mistake. The mistake is not detrimental to many of the people who seek self-help, but it does become problematic for those who have not sought copious amounts of therapy.</p>
<p>The problem? They neglect the beginning.</p>
<p>In developing a vision, whether you&#8217;re swallowing <em>The Secret</em> as gospel or simply putting together advice from valid (or what you consider valid) sources, you have probably learned about some form of the dream board or the future sketch.</p>
<p>The idea is basically the same: you put together pieces of the puzzle that make up an abstract version of you. This you has accomplished meaningful goals, is in a positive place, and, whether optimistic, pessimistic, or realistic, has overcome odds. You think about what you are wearing, what you eat, who you know, and what you do&#8230; The picture should be as complete as possible and often changes over time as you find new things you&#8217;d like to include.</p>
<p>The exercise usually culminates in a typically shorter exercise of putting together a picture of yourself now. This can sometimes even be literal, as in before shots pre-weight-loss. Often, the exercise is flawed because it is so understated. Teachers cite the importance of knowing where you are and where you want to be, but it seems nobody would have &#8220;fun&#8221; painting a portrait of misery or, at best, dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>But <strong>self-help is not about fun</strong>. It is about being constructive and gaining access to the reigns in order to take control of your life again.</p>
<p>So I want you to do something for me: I want you to paint a picture of yourself now in as much or more detail as the portrait of the future you. The important has been stated in other lessons, but I want to focus on it for this one: <strong>you have to know where you are to figure out how to get where you want to be</strong>. The starting point is just as important as the light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>Sticking with the map metaphor, you may vaguely know you want to end up in New York City. Teachers will tell you to pin point down to the address.</p>
<p>But no set of directions is complete without a starting point. Teachers want you to discover whether you&#8217;re facing north, south, east, or west. Some even go so far as to make you mention that you are in Colorado. I want you to have an address.</p>
<p>Where are you?</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=446e6450-c480-459f-bc70-5d036264cf6b" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/03/balance/are-you-a-toxic-friend/' title='Are you a toxic friend? '>Are you a toxic friend? </a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/organization/setting-priorities/' title='Setting Priorities'>Setting Priorities</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/balance/the-six-habits-of-balanced-people/' title='The Six Habits of Balanced People'>The Six Habits of Balanced People</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2011%2F12%2Fbalance%2Fa-portrait-of-you-how-not-to-ruin-it%2F&amp;title=A%20Portrait%20of%20You%3A%20How%20Not%20to%20Ruin%20It" id="wpa2a_4"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/eSRC7rt2ijyLj-Q3ytzcD6mmfMg/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/eSRC7rt2ijyLj-Q3ytzcD6mmfMg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/eSRC7rt2ijyLj-Q3ytzcD6mmfMg/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/eSRC7rt2ijyLj-Q3ytzcD6mmfMg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/a-portrait-of-you-how-not-to-ruin-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Neglecting Honesty: Sometimes, you’re not the problem</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/neglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=neglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/neglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:56:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Balance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=315</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Fun fact: I deal with depression. It started when I was 13, became worse over time, and for the last few years, it&#8217;s been damn near omnipresent. &#160; It culminated not too long ago with some relationship issues. Things became miserable and I turned inward to fix them. &#160; It didn&#8217;t work. Here&#8217;s why: [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TheHonestyLogo.jpg" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="English: The Honesty" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/TheHonestyLogo.jpg/300px-TheHonestyLogo.jpg" alt="English: The Honesty" width="300" height="191" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image via Wikipedia</p></div>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Fun fact: I deal with depression. It started when I was 13, became worse over time, and for the last few years, it&#8217;s been damn near omnipresent.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It culminated not too long ago with some relationship issues. Things became miserable and I turned inward to fix them.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It didn&#8217;t work. Here&#8217;s why:</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><span id="more-315"></span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>My mom likes to say depression is anger turned inward, which I think is a valid assertion for many people. However, she has turned it into a mantra, a parrot on my shoulder, a constant nagging in my head which tells me, between the lines, that my depression is <em>my</em> anger turned inward.</p>
<p>I think the problem with this lies in the fact that my depression is not always a result of my thoughts. I have tried many times using the outside-in angle in solving my problems. It simply fails once my depressive states start to involve other people.</p>
<p>The most recent example, and the situation that sparked this post, has been with my husband. In fighting, we have both said nasty things to each other, but nothing he has said has been so damaging as his continuous assertion over the years that I am angry. Without fail our arguments ultimately turn to him saying something along the lines of, &#8220;Fine. I&#8217;m sorry. It&#8217;s my fault.&#8221; At first, I saw this as passive-aggressive behavior to make me stop fighting back and start coddling him.</p>
<p>I recently realized he isn&#8217;t shouldering blame. There is no blame to shoulder, because I never exclusively blame him, and I certainly hadn&#8217;t blamed him in that argument. He is asserting in this that I am the angry one. That I give out blame. Until now, I had believed him, or else hadn&#8217;t really listened.</p>
<p>I am not the angry one. I am not the problem.</p>
<p>From very young ages, we are taught to accept responsibility, look out for others first, and to see our own issues before we tell others about theirs. This is valid and a great guideline.</p>
<p>But what isn&#8217;t in the rulebooks is what to do when shouldering the blame means lying to yourself.</p>
<p>Sometimes, you&#8217;re not the problem. In being honest with ourselves, we need to recognize when we&#8217;ve done no wrong. We need to realize when our personalities aren&#8217;t the equivalent of a temper tantrum. We need to see that conflict is not always a result of our flaws or flawed actions.</p>
<p>Think of others and recognize your responsibility. But don&#8217;t take on more negativity than you deserve. This is a long road and I see a lot of bumps. But I&#8217;ll let you know when I&#8217;m well enough down it to share my experiences.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=f7e72a77-6597-4e0c-8391-14361d662493" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/announcements/back-on-the-horse/' title='Back on the Horse'>Back on the Horse</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2011%2F12%2Fbalance%2Fneglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem%2F&amp;title=Neglecting%20Honesty%3A%20Sometimes%2C%20you%26%238217%3Bre%20not%20the%20problem" id="wpa2a_6"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z3LjbIAa4u7QQRIXBIL7Yte3Tfg/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z3LjbIAa4u7QQRIXBIL7Yte3Tfg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z3LjbIAa4u7QQRIXBIL7Yte3Tfg/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/z3LjbIAa4u7QQRIXBIL7Yte3Tfg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/neglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Trying to Achieve Focus? Stop.</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/productivity/trying-to-achieve-focus-stop/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=trying-to-achieve-focus-stop</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/productivity/trying-to-achieve-focus-stop/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:19:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adderall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[distraction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[focus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mental health]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=311</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve written a lot on this blog. I guess that&#8217;s a good thing, since it&#8217;s in line with what I set out to do. And recently, I decided I was going to devote more time and energy to maintaining this blog, including learning about what I like to talk about, writing about it, and promoting [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Veddah_girl.jpg" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="English: A class of Veddah tribe children. Dam..." src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/08/Veddah_girl.jpg/300px-Veddah_girl.jpg" alt="English: A class of Veddah tribe children. Dam..." width="300" height="199" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image via Wikipedia</p></div>
<p>I&#8217;ve written a lot on this blog. I guess that&#8217;s a good thing, since it&#8217;s in line with what I set out to do. And recently, I decided I was going to devote more time and energy to maintaining this blog, including learning about what I like to talk about, writing about it, and promoting it so people will actually see it.</p>
<p>These are noble endeavors and I think (hope) I will be successful in accomplishing them, ultimately. Of course, it may take many more weeks, months, or years than I plan right now (it already has taken a lot longer than the original plan), but I am okay with that.</p>
<p>I want to talk about focus, which ties in with productivity, balance, and passion. I think focus is one of the major tenants of productivity and becoming superman, but it maintains its mystery and elusiveness. People don&#8217;t write about how to definitively find focus &#8211; at least not in the same ways and volumes that they write about how to get organized, plan your goals, and meditate. It could be written off as there being no one way to get focused that works for everybody. That&#8217;s a start. But there&#8217;s another issue at hand: <strong>they don&#8217;t know</strong>.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t want you to have any false hopes: I don&#8217;t know either. But I have some speculations and thoughts about achieving focus which has led me to one conclusion:</p>
<p><span id="more-311"></span>If you&#8217;re trying to find focus, stop. Completely. Don&#8217;t give up hope, but give up your method.</p>
<p>I want you to think of the last time you were taken away with something &#8211; a flight of fancy, a really engaging movie, or work on a project that mattered dearly to you.</p>
<p>For me, it was an attempt at programming a shopping assistant service that would simplify my life, and hopefully the lives of others. I was in love with the idea of saving myself (and others) time and money. I spent at least eight hours a day on the project, which lasted about a week or two (Time kind of lapsed on me).</p>
<p>Even now, months later, I can still feel the rush of happiness that working on that project gave me.</p>
<p>Why did this happen?</p>
<p><strong>Because it mattered.</strong></p>
<p><strong></strong>If you&#8217;re trying to focus yourself on tasks &#8211; any tasks &#8211; and it&#8217;s simply not happening, then you need to stop.</p>
<p><strong>Focus happens organically.</strong> You don&#8217;t force it. Forcing it is what results in otherwise healthy people choosing to abuse Adderall in order to succeed.</p>
<p>We spend a lot of time trying to systematically eliminate distractions.</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t get distracted when I was in love with my project. I&#8217;m willing to bet you didn&#8217;t either.</p>
<p><strong>You cannot eliminate distractions.</strong> You can turn off the phone, unplug the router, and otherwise lock yourself in a dark closet with nothing but a pen and paper. You&#8217;re going to distract yourself with the pen, or you&#8217;re going to get lost in thought.</p>
<p>Stop trying to eliminate distraction. Stop trying to force yourself to focus. Stop trying to make productivity happen. If it&#8217;s taking effort, even if you manage to eke out some form of product, you&#8217;re still wasting too much energy to feel good about it.</p>
<h3>Solution</h3>
<p>I propose a simple solution: fall in love with what you have to do.</p>
<p>Of course, you can also outsource some things &#8211; and I encourage you to do that with many things. But sometimes, tasks are too personal or esoteric to outsource.</p>
<p>In that situation, you need to fall in love again.</p>
<p>Some personal development specialists have hinted at this by encouraging you to build things like dream boards, motivational posters, and subliminal messaging systems. These aren&#8217;t necessary, though they could help.</p>
<p>You just need to figure out how to love what you do again.</p>
<p>If you love it, you&#8217;ll focus. It will happen easily and naturally. You won&#8217;t be distracted. You&#8217;ll be productive.</p>
<p>There are a couple problems with this solution, though, and the major one is if you can&#8217;t love what you do. That&#8217;s what dream boards and posters are for &#8211; getting yourself to tough it out and finish your tasks at hand so you can achieve some end.</p>
<p>There is not another easy solution for this.</p>
<p>If you do find yourself consistently miserable in everyday tasks, then it is a sign that something is wrong, and it&#8217;s not your productivity system. It probably means you&#8217;re not finding your work fulfilling. In that situation, you will need to change your perspective or else change the end you are working for or the means you are fulfilling. If you hate your day job, you could need a bigger reminder of why you&#8217;re there. If you continue to find yourself distracted, it could be time to find a new day job.</p>
<p>If you have found your focus, I&#8217;d love to hear your methods in the comments section.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=a97b2c08-4977-418b-8938-52c9df3047ab" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/' title='How to Stay Productive'>How to Stay Productive</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/' title='Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business'>Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/organization/too-many-projects-a-remedy/' title='Too Many Projects: A Remedy'>Too Many Projects: A Remedy</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/productivity/too-many-projects-a-diagnosis/' title='Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis'>Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/02/personal/what-i-do-in-lieu-of-work/' title='What I Do In Lieu of Work'>What I Do In Lieu of Work</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2011%2F12%2Fproductivity%2Ftrying-to-achieve-focus-stop%2F&amp;title=Trying%20to%20Achieve%20Focus%3F%20Stop." id="wpa2a_8"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-oFf_XyA6Zz2RqGN3H56CkqjTRY/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-oFf_XyA6Zz2RqGN3H56CkqjTRY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-oFf_XyA6Zz2RqGN3H56CkqjTRY/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-oFf_XyA6Zz2RqGN3H56CkqjTRY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/productivity/trying-to-achieve-focus-stop/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Half the Battle: Fail forward</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/motivation/half-the-battle-fail-forward/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=half-the-battle-fail-forward</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/motivation/half-the-battle-fail-forward/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Nov 2011 05:42:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[progress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[risk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=288</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Unfortunately and ironically, fear of failure leads to inaction and inaction leads to failure. Stagnation makes people lose out on opportunities and makes companies lose out to innovative competitors. Don&#8217;t stay in the same place for too long, or you&#8217;ll be left in the past. It sounds true, deep, and like a sound solution, but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 250px"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/12495774@N02/2405297371" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="Racing demons" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2206/2405297371_e4b348201a_m.jpg" alt="Racing demons" width="240" height="167" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image by shaggy359 via Flickr</p></div>
<p>Unfortunately and ironically, fear of failure leads to inaction and inaction leads to failure. Stagnation makes people lose out on opportunities and makes companies lose out to innovative competitors. Don&#8217;t stay in the same place for too long, or you&#8217;ll be left in the past.</p>
<p>It sounds true, deep, and like a sound solution, but for some people, the anxiety is tougher to break than words about how miserable their fear is going to make them. That&#8217;s who this post is for.</p>
<p><span id="more-288"></span>Moving forward is the process that I see leading to success. I want to avoid inaction and stagnant lack of progress. I want to always continue striding forward even when my stride turns into a trudge. I want what you want: success.</p>
<p>When the going gets tough and I don&#8217;t feel like I&#8217;ll ever make it to success, I have given up in the past. People become discouraged or even depressed when they don&#8217;t feel like things are going their way or that they&#8217;ve done badly. They stop moving. They stop trying. They see failure.</p>
<p>Thing is, our options are limited to two: moving forward and moving toward loss. You may think people who sense failure have stopped moving out of fear. They haven&#8217;t. <strong>They&#8217;re still moving</strong>. They&#8217;re just moving toward loss.</p>
<p>On the other hand, those who are failing by doing the wrong things are still moving toward success. It&#8217;s just going to take them a little longer to get there.</p>
<p><strong>Failing is part of the process.</strong></p>
<p>The trick is to fail forward. Make progress in your failures &#8211; your short-comings, your misplannings, your mistakes.</p>
<p>You may not want to take risks, but you have to. Everything is risky. <strong>Doing nothing is risky</strong>.</p>
<p>Now go do something.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=d4b8333e-c4b8-4e8d-91e5-7dfce04d6ef1" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2012/05/personal/the-art-of-suddenly/' title='The Art of Suddenly'>The Art of Suddenly</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/balance/why-its-better-to-fail/' title='Why It&#8217;s Better to Fail'>Why It&#8217;s Better to Fail</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/' title='How to Stay Productive'>How to Stay Productive</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/' title='Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business'>Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/03/business/101-rules-for-leaders/' title='101 Rules for Leaders'>101 Rules for Leaders</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2011%2F11%2Fmotivation%2Fhalf-the-battle-fail-forward%2F&amp;title=Half%20the%20Battle%3A%20Fail%20forward" id="wpa2a_10"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/IPZRYaIPtYPYzX2WFybWRWXK0Uo/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/IPZRYaIPtYPYzX2WFybWRWXK0Uo/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/IPZRYaIPtYPYzX2WFybWRWXK0Uo/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/IPZRYaIPtYPYzX2WFybWRWXK0Uo/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/motivation/half-the-battle-fail-forward/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Back on the Horse</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/announcements/back-on-the-horse/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=back-on-the-horse</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/announcements/back-on-the-horse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Nov 2011 06:57:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Announcements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=259</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s been a year (almost). I haven&#8217;t updated this blog in a year. Actually, I haven&#8217;t really thought about it in a year. I started it in 2009 around this time as I was striving to fix my life and my experience on earth. I gave it up after a handful of posts&#8230; Trouble is, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 250px"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/9593528@N08/6339012341" target="_blank"><img class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" title="New racing car by Rick Vine" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6216/6339012341_9d71e76e67_m.jpg" alt="New racing car by Rick Vine" width="240" height="180" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image by meccanohig via Flickr</p></div>
<p>It&#8217;s been a year (almost).</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t updated this blog in a year. Actually, I haven&#8217;t really thought about it in a year. I started it in 2009 around this time as I was striving to fix my life and my experience on earth. I gave it up after a handful of posts&#8230; Trouble is, it was the blind leading the blind. I was attempting to tell others how to find balance and happiness in their lives, when I hadn&#8217;t actually found it myself. I thought I had and I was on the path to perfection. Now I realize there is no such thing.</p>
<p>After a while, I started stressing about not having branding like a logo. I stressed about not posting enough tips. I stressed about not updating Twitter frequently enough. It took a toll and I became sorely bitter about updating this blog with content.</p>
<p>After a year, I got notified that my domain was expiring in two weeks.</p>
<p>For two weeks I&#8217;ve debated restarting this project. Two weeks. Last night I was exposing my debates (this wasn&#8217;t the only one) to a very dear friend and he encouraged me to pick it back up &#8211; to get back on the horse &#8211; in a new incarnation. Tonight, 20 minutes before the expiration process would have begun, I renewed my domain for another year.</p>
<p>Here I am. Now. Writing to you all. I apologize for being a flake. I apologize for thinking I knew what I probably never will. I hope old readers will find this post and start following this blog again. I sincerely pledge my willingness and future efforts to be more humble in my expectations for myself and my ambitions (as well as my assessment of ability). I hope new readers will somehow neglect this post and simultaneously forgive my past failures.</p>
<p>I hope the horse will take me back.</p>
<p>Check back in over the next couple weeks. This place will be getting a face lift (though mostly through the back end). I will be posting again. Smarter, wiser, and a better writer. But not nearly done with my learning. I hope to see you all soon.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=c7b8811a-695d-4b46-984a-95e80bd31e16" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/balance/neglecting-honesty-sometimes-youre-not-the-problem/' title='Neglecting Honesty: Sometimes, you&#8217;re not the problem'>Neglecting Honesty: Sometimes, you&#8217;re not the problem</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2011%2F11%2Fannouncements%2Fback-on-the-horse%2F&amp;title=Back%20on%20the%20Horse" id="wpa2a_12"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/K7RySfAbxdxPpQ3Gdbhkw-9d57c/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/K7RySfAbxdxPpQ3Gdbhkw-9d57c/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/K7RySfAbxdxPpQ3Gdbhkw-9d57c/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/K7RySfAbxdxPpQ3Gdbhkw-9d57c/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/11/announcements/back-on-the-horse/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Monthly Tasks: Household Financial Meetings</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/personal-finance/monthly-tasks-household-financial-meetings/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=monthly-tasks-household-financial-meetings</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/personal-finance/monthly-tasks-household-financial-meetings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Nov 2010 07:40:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Credit card]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roommate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spouse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=245</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Image via Wikipedia Anybody who lives with another person needs to be holding regular household meetings to express concerns &#8211; the importance grows exponentially as the level of relationship between roommates increases. Simple college roommates need to get together &#8211; both with literal room-mates and with those who merely share the floor of a building [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; display: block;">
<div>
<dl class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 310px;">
<dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Credit-cards.jpg"><img title="Credit cards" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4f/Credit-cards.jpg/300px-Credit-cards.jpg" alt="Credit cards" width="300" height="225" /></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-dd zemanta-img-attribution" style="font-size: 0.8em;">Image via <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Credit-cards.jpg">Wikipedia</a></dd>
</dl>
</div>
</div>
<p>Anybody who lives with another person needs to be holding regular household meetings to express concerns &#8211; the importance grows exponentially as the level of relationship between roommates increases. Simple college roommates need to get together &#8211; both with literal room-mates and with those who merely share the floor of a building &#8211; to discuss policies on parties, kitchen use, cleaning, showers, and guests, as well as plenty of other things. Spouses need to get together to discuss all that and much more, including raising children, work hours, and, as I will focus on today, finances.</p>
<p><span id="more-245"></span>I know &#8220;finance&#8221; is a dirty word, but it is also a necessary evil. An unfortunate but true fact: the number one cause of stress on relationships tends to be financial struggle and differences of opinion on goals with finances.</p>
<p>As an example, my husband and I are two very different people. We share a sense of humor, we share certain fears and insecurities, and we have goals that align well. That said, how we actually go about planning and achieving goals completely differs. What is important to me is not always important to him, and vice versa. Being two different people, we have to have occasional discussions about where we were, where we are, and where we want to be, in order to stay sane, focused, and communicative.</p>
<p>I encourage everybody to hold a monthly financial meeting with your spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, roommate, hetero life mate, or whatever. If you have children who are responsible and mature enough to care and not share your woes with the world, then they should also be active participants.</p>
<h3>The agenda</h3>
<p>Every serious discussion needs an agenda. This does not have to be a formal meeting &#8211; in fact, it is preferable if you do not use any form of label on it, as those come with connotations &#8211; but it does need to be entered into with both parties prepared to discuss certain topics. Our meetings, for example, address the following:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Spending analysis.</strong> This is where we both go over our accounts (via Mint.com) and look at where we spent money over the month. It usually involves looking at charts and graphs and can get boring to describe to other people, but is an important part of our discussion.</li>
<li><strong>Questions and concerns.</strong> We talk about where we spent money unnecessarily and where we feel the other person can afford to cut out spending, and certain habits that may lead to detriment. I buy way too much belly-dance-related stuff and tend to apply for a lot of credit cards on a whim, while he tends to spend a lot of money on jewelry-making-accessories.</li>
<li><strong>Goals.</strong> Perhaps the most fun! We discuss where we were, where we are, and where we hope to be in the short- and long-term future, as far as financially, and why we want to be there. We want to be able to support our daughter, he is getting close to retirement (about 20 years) and I have a while to go (and therefore can take more risk), and we are looking at buying a house within the next few years.</li>
<li><strong>Plans.</strong> Similar to concerns, this is anything we plan to do over the next month that will cost extra money. It is things like &#8220;I need an oil change&#8221; or &#8220;I have to buy textbooks&#8221; that make this time miserable, so we note it and move on quickly.</li>
</ul>
<p>There are other things to be discussed, but this is where the majority of our time goes. An average meeting lasts about 30 minutes (which is a low price to pay for a month&#8217;s worth of sanity and peace), but many can end up shorter.</p>
<p>Some general guidelines:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Always</strong> tell your spouse you appreciate him or her. This will save you a lot of stressed outbursts.</li>
<li><strong>Never</strong> bring up issues from the past that have been resolved (I&#8217;m terrible about this).</li>
<li><strong>Always</strong> be honest and open.</li>
<li><strong>Never</strong> launch a personal attack in order to &#8220;strike back&#8221; at a comment about your own habits.</li>
</ul>
<p>Because money tends to be stressful and, honestly, mystifying to discuss, these meetings are important to schedule, but also important not to overdo. Do not discuss finances in depth every day if your partner is uncomfortable with it. Do not stress yourself out over the meeting.</p>
<h3>Why it works</h3>
<p>The single most important factor behind a meeting&#8217;s success is that it gets both parties thinking about finances. Far too many people go through life with financial things happening to them, rather than with themselves getting the ball rolling. College and retirement savings do not happen on their own &#8211; they require research and dedication.</p>
<p>An additional benefit of these discussions is that it reduces impulsive spending for many people. A latte every morning is a lot more difficult to explain to your partner at the end of the month than it is to justify to yourself at the moment.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="border: medium none; float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=5fe6d632-e332-449a-bf5d-b6bb2a7fc425" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/personal-finance/finance-the-pareto-principle/' title='Finance: The Pareto Principle'>Finance: The Pareto Principle</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/02/personal-finance/find-motivation-by-budgeting-savings/' title='Find Motivation by Budgeting Savings'>Find Motivation by Budgeting Savings</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/personal-finance/spending-time-and-spending-money/' title='Spending Time and Spending Money'>Spending Time and Spending Money</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/personal-finance/are-you-credit-ready/' title='Are You Credit-Ready?'>Are You Credit-Ready?</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2010%2F11%2Fpersonal-finance%2Fmonthly-tasks-household-financial-meetings%2F&amp;title=Monthly%20Tasks%3A%20Household%20Financial%20Meetings" id="wpa2a_14"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/cW3EmKWtBE9rnkJhF10kYNk3ogA/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/cW3EmKWtBE9rnkJhF10kYNk3ogA/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/cW3EmKWtBE9rnkJhF10kYNk3ogA/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/cW3EmKWtBE9rnkJhF10kYNk3ogA/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/personal-finance/monthly-tasks-household-financial-meetings/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Stay Productive</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=how-to-stay-productive</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Nov 2010 12:01:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pressure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[punishment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sanity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In today&#8217;s world, productivity is emphasized, often to a point of detriment to, well, productivity. People are urged to produce an unnatural amount of content, product, or other work, and are often expected to do this with smiles on their faces and songs in their hearts. Sadly, employers are not the only ones pressuring people [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In today&#8217;s world, productivity is emphasized, often to a point of detriment to, well, productivity. People are urged to produce an unnatural amount of content, product, or other work, and are often expected to do this with smiles on their faces and songs in their hearts. Sadly, employers are not the only ones pressuring people to produce: often, it is a person&#8217;s own pressures on himself that lead to overload and, ultimately, failure. This article is dedicated to those people and how they can successfully transform not only into happier individuals, but also into more productive individuals.</p>
<h3><span id="more-243"></span>On overload</h3>
<p>Every once in a while, we all become overloaded or spread too thinly with work, obligations, responsibilities, and even successes. The cause for becoming overwhelmed is often left up to the individual to decide, but can typically be blamed on some incarnation of obsessive thought. Whether working too hard, for too long, or on too much at once, overwork is the likely culprit of overload.</p>
<h3>Track it</h3>
<p>Using a service like <a href="http://www.joesgoals.com/">Joe&#8217;s Goals</a>, or a spreadsheet, or a private journal, somehow monitor a couple variables every single day. You will want to know how much you got done. You will want to know how you felt, in general, throughout the course of the day. You will want to know what made you happy and what upset you. Either discuss these things in detail, or rate them on a numerical scale. Either way, be consistent and remember to always do it. You&#8217;ll thank yourself for it later.</p>
<h3>Review it</h3>
<p>Once a week, month, or year, look back at the time since your last review. Do you notice any trends? Were you more productive when you were happier? Did you seem more stressed when you got fewer things done? Were there typical times of the month when you failed to do anything, or did an exceptional amount? Note your observations. When you have collected a few reviews, look for any trends between them.</p>
<h3>Note it</h3>
<p>Any time you lose your motivation, take note of how you feel. Check in with yourself. Take a breather and step away from your work. Notice what happened right before you lost motivation. Did you get discouraged, or get rejected, or even fail at something? Did you finish your requisite work for the day, and are now left with only free time?</p>
<p>Similarly, note when you get stressed. Make it a point to always write down, &#8220;I got stressed at 12:55 PM after I read my second rejection email of the day from publishers. I have bills coming due in three days and I need to make another $100 to pay rent. I am at 10 on a stress scale of 1 to 10.&#8221;</p>
<h3>Take a break</h3>
<p>When you get stressed or lose motivation, it is time to stop. Note how you feel, figure out why as best you can, and then stand up, stretch, eat, run, watch television, listen to your favorite song&#8230; do something else. I mean it. For at least 30 minutes. Starting now.</p>
<h3>Now get back to work</h3>
<p>When you have calmed yourself down, think a little bit more about what happened. Everybody gets frustrated from time to time. Was your frustration acceptable and justified? Would any other human being (excepting the Patron Saint of Patience) have reacted the same way?</p>
<p>If so, it is time to stop blaming yourself and get back to work. If not, then perhaps it is time to look a little deeper, because there may be other issues at play than just stressful and overwhelming work.</p>
<h3>The secret to staying productive</h3>
<p>Some of you may be wondering, &#8220;What&#8217;s the magic cure?&#8221; I&#8217;m here to tell you that there is not one (at least, not that we&#8217;ve discovered so far). That said, for many people, little tricks can help make their actions cooperate with their future goals.</p>
<p>One such trick is to know <em>why</em> you are actually doing every little thing. From bookkeeping to reporting to reviewing, every action needs to be justified by a specific goal. If a goal is missing, perhaps the task would be better if delegated to another person, because motivation is likely hanging by a thread.</p>
<p>Reward and punishment is a similar trick. Always have a reward in mind for a job well done. The reward should be something you actually want, and not just the satisfaction of having done well. A punishment should be a true detriment.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not always a matter of staying productive. Sometimes, a better focus is to stay happy with yourself. Not every day is meant to be dedicated to directly getting closer to goals &#8211; some are meant to be used for rest and relaxation in order to maintain the sanity necessary to reach goals later.</p>
<p>Take the pressure off yourself. You don&#8217;t need to be doing something every minute of every day. If you do, you will miss out on countless opportunities to actually experience the returns of your labor.<br />
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/organization/too-many-projects-a-remedy/' title='Too Many Projects: A Remedy'>Too Many Projects: A Remedy</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/productivity/too-many-projects-a-diagnosis/' title='Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis'>Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/organization/how-to-do-a-year-end-review/' title='How to Do a Year-End Review'>How to Do a Year-End Review</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/productivity/trying-to-achieve-focus-stop/' title='Trying to Achieve Focus? Stop.'>Trying to Achieve Focus? Stop.</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/' title='Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business'>Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2010%2F11%2Fproductivity%2Fhow-to-stay-productive%2F&amp;title=How%20to%20Stay%20Productive" id="wpa2a_16"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/u1Ej3HYoVYIvwyaoWC49Q0T90to/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/u1Ej3HYoVYIvwyaoWC49Q0T90to/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/u1Ej3HYoVYIvwyaoWC49Q0T90to/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/u1Ej3HYoVYIvwyaoWC49Q0T90to/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why It’s Better to Fail</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/balance/why-its-better-to-fail/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=why-its-better-to-fail</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/balance/why-its-better-to-fail/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Nov 2010 06:27:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Balance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[introspection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[progress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[regression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=229</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes, in life, things just don&#8217;t go the way they are expected to go. And in times when things go unexpectedly wrong, there is always something to be learned from having failed. So I dedicate this article (appropriately around Thanksgiving) to being thankful for our mistakes and failures. I am learning I learn every single [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sometimes, in life, things just don&#8217;t go the way they are expected to go.</p>
<p><span id="more-229"></span>And in times when things go unexpectedly wrong, there is always something to be learned from having failed. So I dedicate this article (appropriately around Thanksgiving) to being thankful for our mistakes and failures.</p>
<h3>I am learning</h3>
<p>I learn every single day. Sometimes, it is because I made a point to learn. Other times, it happens unexpectedly (much like failure, success is often somewhat unplanned). For some mysterious reason, I learn something new, either about a topic, or about myself, every single day. This is a natural talent of the introspective and the analytical, but for me, it took a while to develop.</p>
<h3>Holding on too hard</h3>
<p>I used to hang on to the past very dramatically. I would never let go of anything &#8211; I was like a hoarder of memories, thoughts, feelings, and comforts. Every time I got upset, I would make myself a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. If I did not do this, I would feel empty, like I was going to implode upon myself.</p>
<p>And then things changed. I stopped thinking about what I needed to eat and started thinking about why I needed to eat. Things became different, suddenly. I realized I was not filling a void in myself, but was rather stuffing my feelings down into the void, simulating a feeling of fullness.</p>
<p>I came to terms with that. It was work.</p>
<h3>Failing</h3>
<div class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; display: block;">
<div class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 190px"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tori-amos-closeup-0a.jpg"><img title="Meet and greet Tori Amos, held before the conc..." src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b3/Tori-amos-closeup-0a.jpg/300px-Tori-amos-closeup-0a.jpg" alt="Meet and greet Tori Amos, held before the conc..." width="180" height="135" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image via Wikipedia</p></div>
</div>
<p>I made myself fail a few months later. I deliberately found something (piano) that I new I would absolutely never be good at. I knew I would never enjoy it &#8211; would never be passionate about it &#8211; and knew I lacked talent. So I set out to do what I had wanted to do for a long time: transcribe Tori Amos&#8217;s live performance of &#8220;Iieee&#8221; by ear.</p>
<p>I failed &#8211; miserably. And that was okay, because I did not think I was going to succeed. I let myself down easily. I didn&#8217;t eat macaroni and cheese. I merely told myself, &#8220;You tried,&#8221; and accepted it as what it was.</p>
<h3>Failing harder</h3>
<p>It wasn&#8217;t until a few months later that I actually ended up failing. In fact, I really failed this time, and it was completely unexpected. It was about two weeks before the end of the semester and my Trigonometry teacher pulled me aside.</p>
<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re failing,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>&#8220;I know,&#8221; I replied. I didn&#8217;t really know.</p>
<p>&#8220;Why have you not been doing your homework?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I thought I had been.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m showing straight zeros for the past two weeks.&#8221;</p>
<p>I almost melted into the floor.</p>
<p>I resigned myself to my chair and thought about what was about to happen. I was going to lose my privileges at home. I was going to miss out on getting the oft dreamed-about college education at an Ivy League school. I had failed.</p>
<h3>Regression</h3>
<p>I turned back into my old self. I beat myself up. I scorned myself for not being perfect. I didn&#8217;t realize it, but I had given up on my dream of college long ago, and so the beatings continued in harsher quality due to giving up and giving in. I had promised myself I would never give up on myself &#8211; my dreams. And yet, I had.</p>
<h3>Calm</h3>
<p>After the storm, I meditated on what had happened and why it had happened. Why had I allowed myself to overreact?</p>
<p>I met with my teacher and principal and convinced them to place me in an easier class.</p>
<p>Then I talked to my counselor, who told me the one best piece of advice I&#8217;ve ever received:</p>
<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s okay to fail.&#8221;</p>
<p>Four words. They changed my life.</p>
<h3>Why Failure Rules</h3>
<p>It is the absence of failure that tends to lead to huge failures. The Roman empire seemed perfect for so long. Then it collapsed in a very short time period.</p>
<p>Sand is an interesting thing. It tends to mound up when it is just poured unevenly in one place.</p>
<p>How do you get sand to fill in the holes, though? How do you get it stable?</p>
<p>You shake it.</p>
<p>And just as you shake sand, your life must be shaken from time to time. Every religion since the dawn of man teaches this basic lesson, and yet so many of us forget it.</p>
<p>Go out and fail today. You&#8217;ll be better for it. You&#8217;ll learn from it.</p>
<p>Then comes the real challenge: Love yourself for failing.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="border: none; float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=d2ddd276-c137-4377-bcc8-3c68eba6776a" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/12/naked-musings/what-ive-learned-while-naked/' title='What I&#8217;ve Learned While Naked'>What I&#8217;ve Learned While Naked</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2012/05/personal/the-art-of-suddenly/' title='The Art of Suddenly'>The Art of Suddenly</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/productivity/how-to-be-balanced-at-work/' title='How to Be Balanced at Work'>How to Be Balanced at Work</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/quote-of-the-month/quote-of-the-month-january/' title='Quote of the Month: January'>Quote of the Month: January</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2009/11/balance/does-religion-matter/' title='Does Religion Matter?'>Does Religion Matter?</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2010%2F11%2Fbalance%2Fwhy-its-better-to-fail%2F&amp;title=Why%20It%26%238217%3Bs%20Better%20to%20Fail" id="wpa2a_18"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/n6xiGgZLz43puo3gw2OOKD4BzS4/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/n6xiGgZLz43puo3gw2OOKD4BzS4/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/n6xiGgZLz43puo3gw2OOKD4BzS4/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/n6xiGgZLz43puo3gw2OOKD4BzS4/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/balance/why-its-better-to-fail/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Secrets to Success: Run Yourself Like a Business</title>
		<link>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business</link>
		<comments>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:06:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[production]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[return on investment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/?p=225</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A popular tip I&#8217;ve been reading lately during my job hunt (and therefore my resume reconstruction) is that resumes are a like a brochure of oneself and one&#8217;s skills &#8211; they&#8217;re meant to be a sales pitch and a marketing tool, rather than just a plain list of all your skills and qualifications. Consider resumes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="zemanta-img" style="margin: 1em; display: block;">
<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 190px"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Risk-return-bg.PNG"><img class=" " title="Different risk and return of investment for th..." src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f5/Risk-return-bg.PNG/300px-Risk-return-bg.PNG" alt="Different risk and return of investment for th..." width="180" height="139" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Image via Wikipedia</p></div>
</div>
<p>A popular tip I&#8217;ve been reading lately during my job hunt (and therefore my resume reconstruction) is that resumes are a like a brochure of oneself and one&#8217;s skills &#8211; they&#8217;re meant to be a sales pitch and a marketing tool, rather than just a plain list of all your skills and qualifications. Consider resumes to be a way to express why <em>they</em> should buy <em>you</em> and you&#8217;ll be a million times more successful in your endeavors.</p>
<p>Not only should resumes be a marketing tool, but I believe now that the best way to be successful is to run oneself entirely like a business. Here&#8217;s how.</p>
<h3><span id="more-225"></span>Energy, Time, and Money Performances</h3>
<p>In business, every year, quarter, or even day, a few sheets are produced that show how successfully a business has been run. They are the balance sheet, the income statement, and a few other papers detailing important accounting stats. I think people should produce similar audits regarding their performance in work, in play, and in other areas that are important to them, such as family time and networking. Check to see if your investments (of time, of energy, and, of course, of money) were worth your while. Find a way to calculate a return on investment and stick with it over time. You should see positive trends. If not, it&#8217;s time to make a change.</p>
<h3>Treat yourself as an employee</h3>
<p>In business, we have something called human capital or human resources, which refers to the people who are involved in production. Most businesses periodically do performance reviews of every employee to give and receive feedback on what can be done to ensure the company runs as a well-oiled machine. I suggest periodically doing a performance review of yourself, where you defend decisions, provide feedback, and check to see what could have been improved upon, and then make necessary changes to enhance productivity.</p>
<p>Think about it: Do you deserve to keep your &#8220;job?&#8221;</p>
<h3>Invest in yourself</h3>
<p>Small businesses in particular have to invest in themselves in order to continue operations &#8211; usually over a period of a few years, until business picks up enough to support the company as a whole. Similarly, people require investments to keep running. It is insanely difficult to improve oneself without expending time, energy, or money. So if your investments send you into the &#8220;red&#8221; temporarily, it&#8217;s okay, so long as you get a high return on investment as I mentioned above. A vacation to keep your sanity also counts as an investment.</p>
<h3>Outsource</h3>
<p>Most executives do very little work directly involved in production. That is because they have better things to do, like running the company. Similarly, if you are to be truly successful, you must outsource some of your own tedious tasks in order to focus on what gives you the most return.</p>
<h3>Perfectionism</h3>
<p>Not that any of this has to be perfect. As long as your system is working for you and advancing you to higher levels of performance, it is fine. You may never be where you want to be &#8211; indeed, few of us ever are &#8211; but you will be moving forward, which is the important part. I define success as moving out of survival and into comfort because that seems to be the single factor that ties together the people who I consider successful: comfort.</p>
<p>What do you think? Am I way off on my assumptions? After all, I&#8217;m not the most comfortable person ever.</p>
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;"><img class="zemanta-pixie-img" style="border: medium none; float: right;" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=2526241f-2e93-4589-93b5-77d4accfdbd7" alt="" /></div>
<h3 class='related_post_title'>Related Posts:</h3>
<ul class='related_post'>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/01/business/the-printable-ceo/' title='The Printable CEO'>The Printable CEO</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2011/12/productivity/trying-to-achieve-focus-stop/' title='Trying to Achieve Focus? Stop.'>Trying to Achieve Focus? Stop.</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/11/productivity/how-to-stay-productive/' title='How to Stay Productive'>How to Stay Productive</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/organization/too-many-projects-a-remedy/' title='Too Many Projects: A Remedy'>Too Many Projects: A Remedy</a></li>
<li><a href='http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/06/productivity/too-many-projects-a-diagnosis/' title='Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis'>Too Many Projects: A Diagnosis</a></li>
</ul>
<p><a class="a2a_dd a2a_target addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Foneyeartightrope.com%2Fblog%2F2010%2F07%2Fproductivity%2Fsecrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business%2F&amp;title=Secrets%20to%20Success%3A%20Run%20Yourself%20Like%20a%20Business" id="wpa2a_20"><img src="http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_256_24.png" width="256" height="24" alt="Share"/></a></p>
<p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/44lW_83Y4IwzQvJt42CDhDVr6So/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/44lW_83Y4IwzQvJt42CDhDVr6So/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/>
<a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/44lW_83Y4IwzQvJt42CDhDVr6So/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/44lW_83Y4IwzQvJt42CDhDVr6So/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://oneyeartightrope.com/blog/2010/07/productivity/secrets-to-success-run-yourself-like-a-business/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

