Online Dating Blog

Good Advice For Men Who Don't Like Mace

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:10:00 +0000

This one post deserves to be saved for future reference, a guy's guide to approaching women in a non-threatening way.

It's such great advice, it's a sure bet that women will want to bookmark it too, to send men who fail to get a clue. Of course, men who fail to get a clue also fail at reading and understanding. We won't invent a way to solve that problem for many generations, yet. Come to think of it, that's the whole problem with the clueless people in general, never mind online dating.

Anyway, as many of you guys out there can attest, it's an uncomfortable situation to happen to be the kind of guy who looks scary. Isn't it? We've observed the kind of man who can walk up to an intersection and you hear all the drivers locking their car doors.

What Your Date's Social Web Use Says About Them

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:08:00 +0000

The 21st century has given us some new metrics to measure prospective partners in online dating. For instance, social websites and services. Once you realize that each of these services has its own unique culture, it becomes immediately apparent that different niches would attract different people over time. To wit:

Yahoo! Groups - Very old school. Expect someone either senior-citizen age, or tragically out of touch with the modern web.

Digg or Reddit - The hive of drones. This is a mixed bag, as these are the two most-frequented social sites, but expect someone age 18-25, very well-informed about the web, very insulated against the rest of the world.

Facebook - Again, everybody and their dog (literally) is on Facebook now, so expect people of all ages and persuasions. But also count on somebody with "nothing to hide", who is very connected to their family and/or co-workers.

Twitter - Chatterbox! At least you know they're a great communicator who's always available. Look out for egos.

MySpace - Look for teenagers and younger. Anybody on MySpace over the age of 21 might have serious developmental issues, unless they're entertainers (singers, artists, etc.) keeping touch with their fans.

4chan - Either you're dealing with lowlifes, or the rare intellectual who finds the brainless silliness amusing. Don't bet on the latter.

Adult FriendFinder - Sexually liberated. However, also look out for people cruising for quick casual sex.

MeetingMillionaires.com - Why Do Women date Sugardaddies?

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:13:00 +0000

MeetingMillionaires.com - Young women often seek out older men, and vice versa. This bears out in statistics of married couples gathered from all over the world; the husband is consistently older than the wife, rather than the other way around. And while there's exceptions to the rule - starlets in their golden years dating "boy toys", for instance - it's worth looking into for the insight it gives towards helping more people get what they want.

There's an evolutionary advantage to this. Women produce a set number of fertile eggs in their lifetime, whereas men continue to produce sperm their whole lives. So evolution would favor choosing a younger, more fertile female. At the same time, an older male has had more time to establish himself; even in ancient times, a male who was more mature would have staked out some territory for himself, and had the chance to prove himself to be a more capable provider.

Some of that carries over to modern times. A young man just starting out still has college to go through, a career to forge, and may not have made up his mind where he wants to go in life yet. A more mature man is established - he has his own home, his own car, everything's paid for, and the chances are good that he's not going to just suddenly fly off to Timbuktu never to be heard from again.

Meeting Millionaires
So of course, the richer men present a more attractive option. In seeking to date a millionaire, women can assure themselves that they're going to find someone more stable. In these trying economic times with global upheaval in the market on every front, financial stability is more important than ever.

The side benefits fit more into the relationship side of things. Not only is a millionaire sugardaddy more able to keep a woman in comfort and security, but chances are any mature male has outgrown some of the rough edges that a young male has. Mature men take their time with a woman. They're not in such a hurry, having seen what it's all about several times before. They have more patience, more understanding, and more nurturing instinct. Mature men better know how to treat a woman, and know the importance of flirting, foreplay, and having fun together. They'll stay in bed and cuddle afterwards, instead of jumping up to seek out their next adventure.

Ah, but what's in it for the millionaire men?
Well, there's little arguing against the fact that younger women are more physically attractive. But it's also more invigorating to have a younger lover - they're more adventurous, spontaneous, and fun to be around. Older men very much look upon younger women as playmates, somebody to bring out their fun side. Given the pressures of maintaining a base of power and wealth, it's no surprise that when it's time for leisure, they want somebody who's ready for action and not somebody who will be too tired and complaining of a backache.

Of course, human behavior always poses more interesting questions than we can answer in one lifetime. But hopefully this explains the art of meetingmillionaires and some of the motivations for either side.

Jodie Brittain
For meetingmillionaires

What Your Partner's Film Tastes Says About Them

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Tue, 12 May 2009 02:01:00 +0000

Nearly every online dating website has a section of the profile where singles looking for love can say what kind of films they like. Well, that's not just for comparison! Certain genres of films attract certain personalities, and you can tell a thing or two about them from these preferences.

Comedies (Teen)
example: American Pie, Porkys
Teen comedies usually revolve around sex, love, and the frustrations of functioning in the world. Fans of this kind of film feel awkward in life and identify with the protagonist as they fumble through a series of embarrassing mishaps. They have a very broad sense of humor and are very social.

Comedies (Alternative)
example: Monty Python, Clerks
These are the thoughtful, intelligent types. Monty Python and Kevin Smith appeal to the geeks and nerds, and generally a highly educated crowd. Look for analytical and scientific types to flock to these.

Science Fiction
example: Star Trek, A Scanner Darkly
Note that we do not include Star Wars, because that's an action/adventure series. True science fiction draws fans with a strong imagination who like to think. Think of quiet, contemplative people who are very well-read.

Superhero Series
example: Dark Knight, Transformers
Superheros and their uber-villians represent very simple morality plays. Fans of these films like their problems simplified so they can come up with a solid solution. They admire strength and courage, and are given to having a strong character.

Action
example: National Treasure, Star Wars
Similar to superhero films, action films are also a genre that appeal to people who enjoy the simple pleasures in life. But they're more into the action for action's sake. Look for thrill-seekers here, and people who are spontaneous and energetic.

Chick Flicks
example: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Sex in the City
In spite of the name, both men and women who watch these kinds of films are very intelligent about emotions. To them, romance is one of the most important things in life. Look for people here who are empathic, sentimental, and tend towards kindness.

Scary Films and Thrillers
example: Saw, Hellboy
Contrary to what you might expect, the biggest fans of horror films are the kind of people who aren't scared easily. So look for people who are very imaginative here, and also very empathic! Also look for emotionally intense people with a good grasp of issues and who are not easily ruffled.

High Fantasy
example: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter
Amongst fans of these films, you will find the starry-eyed dreamers for whole life is a wondrous spectacle. Look for people who may be older 'but refuse to grow up' - in a good way! They're spontaneous and creative, and love to be surprised.

Crime/Spy Drama
example: Ocean's Thirteen, The Borne Ultimatum
These films are more about what the characters are thinking than anything else, as the various characters pit their wits against each other. The fun in these films comes from trying to unravel the clues and figure out the puzzle. This crowd loves a mental challenge. Look for high IQs, sedate lifestyles, and a dramatic flair.

3D Animation
example: Shrek, Kung Fu Panda
The high-tech enthusiast is a typical fan of 3D animation. They might even have a career in computer graphics themselves. At the least, you'll find a young, smart, and hip crowd who is likely to have a Blackberry or an iPhone holstered. Also, parents love these kinds of films because their children do.

Anime
example: Fullmetal Alchemist, Deathnote
Now, anime fans are a very unique subset. Anime and manga (printed comics) run together and frequently hover around science fiction, action, and fantasy themes. So blend together the typical fans of those genres, but add in a double dash of creativity and a childish sense of wonder.

Jodie Brittain

ModelMeet.com - Get what you really want

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:11:00 +0000

Instead of meeting women via the regular dating sites, why not try meeting models only, and find what you are really looking for. If you have been unsuccessful with other online dating sites, then you may have been targeting the wrong groups of women.

When you meet models you will find that they are high calibre people who give you a whole new perspective on life. They can treat to you to aspects of their life that no one else can offer. You also get to meet very attractive women who are also very intelligent. Don’t waste anymore of your valuable time on the regular dating sites that don’t give you what you really want.

ModelMeet.com

From Online to Offline: How to Transition Smoothly

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:33:00 +0000

I see a great, informative post over at Evil Woobie on a subject we don't see covered often, How To Transition From Online Dating to the First Date.

It gives some good advice, and you have to chuckle over the part where you're advised to "...review past chats and take note of the promises that you gave in the past". Heh, we talk a lot when we're flirting and don't remember everything, so we have to keep our story straight, huh? Never truer were the words "an honest person never has to remember anything".

My own little part to add: people should be looser about meeting up for dates. So many online daters agonize for months before finally going out to meet in person. What's everybody so shy about? Don't you strike up conversations with the person next to you on the subway, or talk to people at work? So if you don't expect that every person will be "The One", and just go to have fun and socialize, you'll overcome your shyness and who knows, maybe even click with somebody that you thought wouldn't work out.

My other idea: for those people who don't know how to describe themselves, two of these kind of people can agree to meet for an "evaluation date". The purpose is just to socialize, get to know each other for an hour, then you both agree to go home and write the other person's profile! there, now you have a description of yourself as somebody else sees you. This can be a benefit, because people frequently forget to list their best qualities.

Meh, it's an idea...

Jodie Brittain

Salesmen Need Not Apply in Online Dating

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:35:00 +0000

I was quite amused at this story about a speed-dating event in which one guy showed up and just handed out resumes. Clearly, this guy has trouble transitioning from the online world to the offline. "Well", he must have thought, "You use a profile to land a date online. You use a resume to land a job offline. Why not?"

The "Why not?" is because people don't like to be treated like that. They showed up in person to see you, not read a piece of paper you've handed them. And they probably don't want your business card, either. Furthermore, when you print up resumes for a dating event, what you're really saying is "I can't think outside the office." Which is a shame, because - singles take note - the really interesting things in a relationship happen in the bedroom.

Like I've advised in earlier blog posts, you should also leave behind the phone, laptop, and other gizmos on a date, even a speed-date. There's a difference between being being tech-savvy and tech-dependent. When you can't be pried away from your gadget, you're telling your date that they will never have your undivided attention. A woman can look like Carmen Electra, be dressed like Leelu in the Fifth Element and be doing Chinese-acrobat cartwheels on her way to engaging in some carnal act with you from the back pages of the Kama Sutra, and you'd be all "Yeah, uh-huh, very nice, hon. Oh my God! My stock went up half a point!"

Jodie Brittain

Now How to Avoid Being "Just Friends"?

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:51:00 +0000

There's a lot to love in this list of six signs you’ve fallen into the “friend zone”, but while we're at it, why not try to find the point where we made the mistake to end up here, and then see what we could do differently? Follow along with the list, guys:

When your date mentions that she is seeing someone else: your mistake was in not making it clear that you thought of the two of you as being "serious"! In any case, when it gets this far, move to the dump stage. Try to end it gracefully.

Your date brings up sex, when you havn't had sex yet: When this happens, you have about five seconds to wiggle out of your clothes and jump her bones. This is the very last subtle hint that she's ready for sex right now, and if you don't make it happen right now, you're dead from the waist down in her book.
She lets you see her sweaty/dirty, etc.: That's it, relationship's over. You didn't make your move soon enough.
Saying "gee, thanks": She's not impressed! She's telling you to sweep her off her feet and rock her world, and you're being her timid little polite bellhop. You've got five seconds to Hulk out, or get lost.
The "buddy" or "brother" title: Your bad. If you act like a buddy or a brother to a woman, she will think of you that way! You should have already made it clear that you're not looking for a sister.
She tells you she's not interested: Well, then, the time has come to move on. At least you didn't mess up the above five items so badly that she couldn't even tell that that's what you're looking for. Try to end it gracefully.

Jodie Brittain

You'll Get Her Attention Alright...

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:46:00 +0000

While we like the idea expressed by Official Dating Resource's suggestion to compose a funny and cocky subject line that will stand out like a beacon in a woman's in-box, we kind of don't like the tactic presented.

That challenge mentality only works on some kinds of women. But there's lots of other tricks that you can use to break the ho-hum monotony of reading online dating replies:

The Seinfeld subject. A complete non-sequitur like "How do you get egg yolk stains out of a shag rug?" or "By any chance, do you work for a bathtub grouting company?"
The Third-Party gambit. "Could you help me figure out this other woman's profile? I think I like her but I'm not sure."
There's something on your face! Or, the online version, "You misspelled 'platonic'." "Can I help you correct the red-eye in your photo?" or "Why does your email point to 'collegecamgirls.com'?"
Start a debate. "Your profile had me right up until you advocated for global warming research." or "Why in God's name do you like Michael Crichton novels?"
Or make it a True Daily Double: "I bet you can't seduce me in 24 hours!"

Jodie Brittain
Slinky Dating Australia

EliteMeeting.com – Elite Meeting for the busy executive's guide to love

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 10:57:00 +0000

EliteMeeting.com - How is anyone supposed to date when they have all of these projects going on? You always say, "I'll make time when it's not so hectic." Yeah, but that time when it's not hectic just never seems to come around, does it? You have all those faces turned to you, all of your subordinates and assistants looking to you to lead them out of whatever jam they're in at the time. And keeping a relationship will be just one more source of pressure to deal with.

Somewhere along the way to building the society that favors the Ubermensch, we forgot to put in a playground. Or maybe that's how the global economy just shapes itself. We get so wrapped up in optimizing society for work, that we forget to make it easy to play in, too. As the macrocosm goes, so does the microcosm, and we end up back at the individual, who has to run like the rabbit earning capital for resources he may never get to enjoy.

The good news is, there are women who understand that. The old saying "Behind every successful man is a woman who believed in him." didn't come from nowhere, after all. One place where the needs of financially successful single men is in the elite meeting websites.

EliteMeeting
These sites seek to save time and hassle by helping active, independent men to find their matching mate. They are geared towards the men more than anything. Gasp - how politically incorrect! Well, have you ever noticed how whenever the global market takes a nosedive, suddenly being political correct goes out the window and society returns to the old-fashioned, basic values that got them where they are to begin with? So there you have it.

It's no trouble at all to place a profile with an elite meeting service geared to people who appreciate the finer things in life, and want someone who can function in a high-pressure world. You don't have to fill out the whole thing at one. You can change things whenever you need to update. Most of it can be handled from a mobile phone, which you can do during downtime. There's never any pressure on your part - women who are seeking a financially secure man are understandably appreciative of the opportunity to meet up with that rare catch, and will know better than to hold it against you if you had to run off to put out a fire.

And modern elite dating technology has improved so much in recent years. Dating websites for the wealthy have the benefit of an established decade or two of research, allowing them to make matches across a database for a whole range of requirements and characteristics. While that still doesn't mean that every match will be a perfect hit, it does at least raise the chances significantly.

Another refreshing aspect of elite dating is that the quality of the women are better. You typically only find women of supermodel status - or at least women who know how to keep themselves presentable. Women who go to seek out stable men are themselves more confident, so you avoid those latchy, clingy types. And if you prefer somebody more equal to your level, you can screen women for income and status as well.

All in all, it's a more rewarding experience than anything else the dating world has to offer. Compared to the other options, it's almost as if wealth-optimized elite meeting websites were made just for the jet set!

Jodie Brittain
For EliteMeeting.com

Wacky Niche Dating: Libertarians

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:33:00 +0000

File this under "Please, do not help these people reproduce". New York magazine had a look at a dating site that specializes in hooking up libertarians and posted some excerpted craziness. How do you recognize a libertarian, especially one from the U.S.? It's really simple, because their whole lives could barely fill a thimble:

Love Ron Paul, the US Senator from the loony bin. Also known as "Wrong Paul".
Love Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand was the other failing author who saved her career by founding her own cult. The first was L. Ron Hubbard.
Consider comic books to be literature, but only if written by certified Unibomber-style wacko Alan Moore. Alan Moore, Ayn Rand, and Ron Paul is their whole bookshelf.
Wear this mask. Everywhere, even to bed! It's from an Alan Moore comic, of course.
Suckers for everything. They never met a pyramid scheme they didn't like. Chances are they just want to date you so they can sign you up selling NORFED dollars or FOREX trading packages.

There isn't much chance that you'd accidentally breed with one anyway, because these people are obnoxious to be around. Will not shut up about conspiracy theories, political beliefs, activism, and whatever goofy idea their cult has into its collective head this week. However, if you want a dating experience straight out of Taxi Driver, knock yourself out!

Jodie Brittain
Online Dating Australia

Want to advertise to Australia's most desirable singles ?

Seven Dangerous Dating Beliefs That Kill Your Chances

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:03:00 +0000

Dating, whether online or offline, is a game where the winner is always the one who keeps the most positive mental attitude. In no other aspect of life do we find so many self-defeating illusions that people have. We hear them every day, and they're often used to justify why people don't even try. Here's the most common we've heard:

#1. You have to put out.

Sure, sex is expected at some point. But when? Not everybody - and we insist that this apply to guys, too - thinks with their pants. We've seen it lately happen the other way around from the traditional stereotype, where now men complain that women pressure them for sex, almost as often as women complaining about the men. It's just as wrong from either side; many of us, even if we have a high libido, would like to at least have some standard and be sure that the person meets our criteria before just hopping into bed. But what's more disconcerting is when people just do it because they think that's expected of them.

#2. Traditional sexual roles.

This is a big one, because many women back down from flirting and initiating contact because they will be seen as too pushy. The fact is, the 21st century has seen a great equalization; it's now the accepted norm for anybody to ask anybody else out. And ladies, the younger blokes don't mind at least some encouragement.

#3. You have to agree on everything.

Try this some time: Find somebody who is as close to being your twin as possible. Spend some time with them. Yes, you agree a lot, and what happens to the dialog? It dies out. Have you tried dating an opposite? It's intriguing, it's challenging, it keeps your interest. This doesn't mean you should argue with your date about everything. But learn to respectfully disagree, and yet still love somebody who thinks differently from how you do.

#4. It's all about the looks.

The Internet has served to perpetuate this one, unfortunately. Good looks are important, sure, but they're not the be-all and end-all. The kinds of people who only take looks into consideration quickly learn that looking good and making a good living companion are two different things. Then we all founder, because our society places so much importance on how you look and very little on how to improve your mind, be polite, agreeable company, or develop strong character.

#5. Men have to be rich.

When was the last time we even saw a traditional-role family where the man is the breadwinner and the women stays home to do housework? Not very often. The norm for most couples is to have a two-career household, and even then one partner may work while the other goes to school and improves their career later. men, there's nothing wrong with being a househusband for a working woman. In fact, it can be a pretty fun life!

#6. Smart women are intimidating.

How sad that this idea even exists. It chases valuable talent away from the sciences, where women could have given us some brilliant minds which might have cured AIDS, ended world hunger, or discovered the next energy source. It also ensures that men end up with decorative fashion models with flat personalities and no mental stimulation. The great majority of men in surveys have indicated that they place importance on intelligence and personality traits, as well as looks. So go ahead, gals, show off some smarts!

#7. Geeks aren't popular.

This old hold-over idea from a century ago needs to be thrown out. Look at the Forbes' list of top 100 world billionaires, and look how many of them are CEOs of tech companies. Look at how technology is present in every aspect of our lives. The time of the 'geek' being seen as undesirable is long-gone. Both male and female geeks are seeing their stock rise.

Jodie Brittain

Oh, What the Heck. Break Up By Text Message

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 04:26:00 +0000

What's the point of blogging if you aren't going to shake things up every now and then? So we're going to have to disagree with this MSN News story's claim that breaking up by SMS is a bad thing. Yes, it's cheesy and tacky. Get used to it, because that's us.

See, Internet communication is the standard and it's never going away. When they invented the phone, for a while everybody was saying that you don't use the phone for "formal" communication matters, but notify by post or telegram instead. When telegrams came out, they were to be used for trivial communications and everything else should be post. And so on and so on.

Bah! People are using SMS to do everything from propose to dump to announce pregnancy. It's going to happen anyway. We may not like it, but the times are changing. To hold any other position would be akin to being a Luddite.

Jodie Brittain
Online Dating Australia

When Your Children Date

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 04:22:00 +0000

Oh, is that ever a chilling headline for the parent of teenagers! Well, fear not, for author Lisa Jander has written a book called "Dater's Ed: The Instruction Manual for Parents". It's based on the idea of "Driver's Ed" from high school. Yes, teens will groan and roll their eyes as parents the world over read out loud from this manual and give tests.

For the teens and young singles, parents owe you an explanation. Because you're wondering "What gives with mom and dad? Why are they so uptight? Did they expect me to be a nun?" Well, it's natural to feel defensive about your kids. It's less about micro-managing who you love and why - than it is about putting you on safety watch so your folks don't have to lie awake at night with pictures of psychos and stalkers go through their heads.

That being said, any parent should acknowledge that they're going to be wrong about who their children date at least 25% of the time. How could you possibly not get it wrong? You're a parent!

Jodie Brittain

Meetingmillionaires.com - Why Should a Millionaire Use a Dating Site?

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:02:00 +0000

At first, it seems like a counter-intuitive idea. There's this old stigma that online personals and dating websites are for "losers" who can't find love the "regular" way. This idea is as outdated as the belief that wearing something red will ward off the plague; these days, the majority of currently matched-up couples have used a dating site to find their perfect match.

But what use does a millionaire have for this? Can't he just drive up to the beach club in his Alfa Romeo, toot his horn, and drive away with a carload of giggling bikini babes ready to frolic alongside his indoor swimming pool back at his mansion? Well, in reality, it isn't that simple, no matter how many rock music videos disagree. This is millionaire dating.

In fact, anybody who's made their million or two the hard way isn't going to have the time for that sort of thing. The fact is, being a tycoon is a stressful undertaking, which is a shocking fact that the working class doesn't often perceive. To the wage-earner, five o'clock is quitting time and that's the last they have to think about work until tomorrow. But when you're the CEO, it's NEVER quitting time! You're thinking about work the first thing when you wake up in the morning. You bring the Wall Street Journal to the breakfast table. Your day is exhausting, and even when you're on vacation, you could be sailing a yacht on the Caribbean and inside your head all you can hear is "How's my stock? It dropped five points yesterday; will I lose ground? Maybe I should merge with that other company."

This may sound to the average person of median income as if it's a lot of angst and drama, but it isn't. This is just the sort of motivated, hard-driving individual it takes to achieve millionaire status in the first place.

With all of these concerns, many well-to-do older men realize that dating is just one more thing they need to outsource. And really, online dating is more efficient, and that's how millionaires think. They don't have the time to bother with a lot of extra padding drama and looking around. In fact, a relationship with a millionaire will require some understanding on the part of their companion, because he's going to have to answer his phone sometimes, after all. Maintaining a fortune tends to make one busy.

Even a millionaire who is "old money", as in inherited, still has to do some work to keep it. In today's economy, it isn't enough to simply have a pile of cash in a bank account, you have to be very careful what you do with it. There were a lot of paper millionaires just a few years ago who have seen their stocks and investments turn their fortune into dust. Money takes management.

So on the whole, dating websites are actually a welcome relief for millionaires. They take out a lot of the guesswork and searching, while not cutting out any of the fun parts.

Jodie Brittain

English Language Found Dead; Craigslist Wanted for Questioning

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:12:00 +0000

If you want to use the Craigslist site for looking for love, don't let us stop you. Just be aware that the site, through no fault of its own, tends to draw the lowest common denominator. This hilarious article goes into the many flakes, posers, and just plain brainless minions who post on Craigslist just because they can.

The best is the third point, "Mediocrity in the first degree.". We'd like to see more people loosen up when they write a profile. Make fun of yourself. Make fun of dating. Make fun of the person reading. After browsing 1000 profiles before getting to yours, think how much attention you'll get if you are the one who throws every idea about online dating out the window and posts something daring and original.

Jodie Brittain

Five Ways to Test Your Compatibility on a Date

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:41:00 +0000

We don't advocate your trying these kinds of things on a first date. The first time, you'll be too nervous and awkward around each other to get much mileage out of these. What these are, are ideas for the third date and up - when you're through assessing whether they're someone you'd want to spend more time with and now it's just a question of seeing if you're right for each other.

#1. Go for a little trip together. This can be as simple as driving across the city, or perhaps taking a chartered boat across the harbor. Traveling, just the two of you, you get to see how your date handles functional activities instead of recreational ones. Driving, especially, is an easy one to read. If your date drives, do they impatiently race, or are they happy to go with the flow of traffic? When they park, do they pick the first open space or do they circle the lot three times looking for the closest possible space? If you drive, is your date comfortable with you in control? If it's a trip, is your date anxious and fidgety, not knowing what to do with themselves?

#2. Take a walk in the park. This is kind of a way to get the two of you away from distractions. Without food, drinks, music, or activities, you'll have nothing to do but just chat with each other. If you both feel awkward, this might be a sign that you're not cut out for each other. If you settle down beneath a tree and spend hours just enjoying each other's company, that's an excellent sign!

#3. Run some errands with your date. The third date or so is probably the time you can be excused to have a few events in everyday life intrude on your leisure life, anyway. So before you get the date-proper underway, just explain that you have to do one quick thing forst and offer to take them along. Nothing complicated! Pick up the dry cleaning, grab a couple of things at the market, or maybe you promised to feed the neighbor's pet while they're out... don't make it something that takes longer than 20 minutes. Is your date sporting enough that they'll want to come along? Do they act put off that they aren't the priority for even this minute? Do they 'team up' and help you?

#4. Play a game. Any social sport will do - a billiards round, a game of darts, miniature golf, ping pong, skee-ball, bocce, or bowling. You can even offer to compete for a round on your Wii! The point of this is to see how your date performs under competitive circumstances. Are they so driven that they must win at all costs? Are they sore losers? Insufferable winners? Remember that the way they play a competitive game is the exact same way they'll act in an argument. If your date is rooting for you to win and offers pointers on how to improve the game, even if you beat them, that's a great sign!

#5. Spend a full day together. This is a much more involving version of the two-hour date. Perhaps you can go to a resort, spend a day at the beach, or even go shopping together. Anything that will involve at least two meals during the length of time. This shows how your date hangs in there for the long haul. Watch for how they interact with other people: are they polite and courteous with waitresses and sales clerks? Do they get cranky if they get hungry? Do they get tired easily? Do you work well together as a team?

Jodie Brittain

And While You're At It...

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:57:00 +0000

In this excellent article The 5 Dates All “Nice Guys” Should Go On, men who are too "nice" are given a sound spanking and put in a corner, before getting some new instructions on how to break themselves of the "nice guy" habit and become a man who gets women.

We love that, and to go with this list, we'd like to recommend five women all "nice guys" should date. Because after these sharp-taloned harpies are done with you, your shining armor will be rusted right off. Go get 'em, Galahad!

A spoiled "princess". This is just the woman who will appreciate having a neutered cow around for a pet boyfriend. Thrill to her demands, her whining, her suspicion, her manipulation! She will demand an endless stream of expensive gifts and still not be appeased at all.
A supermodel. Just go hang out at a studio and pick you up some arm candy. Now try to keep up with somebody who is too busy to go out, too rich to expect anything but the best, and never in a good mood because she's starving to death.
A heroin addict. Really, any hard drug will do. Spend some time partying with a woman who will leave stains on your soul, as she uses you for a place to crash, harasses you constantly for money for her next fix, and surprises you at work on Monday at 10 AM by calling you from jail.
A heavy career woman. We're talking the bossy power-suit type. A Harvard-graduated business lawyer who's ten years older than you is ideal. She'll "wear the pants" and expect you to keep her house and be there every day for her to come home and use as a doormat.
A psycho. Just take a clue from the film "Fight Club" and hang out at support groups for emotional wrecks, until you find your "Marla". You'll learn new definitions for excitement as she stalks you, gets you fired, embroils you in her latest conspiracy theory, and of course puts you through the whole almost-committing-suicide drama.

The Importance of Being Assertive

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:52:00 +0000

We loved this little slice-of-dating-life story over at the Sun-Herald, because it sets up the Aesop for an important point: When it's not working, step on it and go on to something else as fast as possible.

Her adventures relate her disappointment with a boyfriend who had the emotional substance of jello. And after 27 years absence from the dating pool, that last thing you want is someone who's going to waste your time. As a souvenir of her experience, she had a shirt printed up which says "I wait for no man!"

You go, Elaine! Pick up that self-esteem and go find somebody who regards you as a treasure to be cherished. To anybody else in Elaine's position, we recommend a new way to see yourself: as a god or goddess for one week. Demand presents, peace offerings, prayers, sacrifices, and be sure to pull the occasional miracle out of your hat to keep your minions trembling with respect.

Jodie Brittain
Slinky - The Free Dating Site

Too Busy to Look for Love?

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:00:00 +0000

This story in the Houston Chronicle tells a story that will be very familiar to us. It's the same old problem of finding a balance between profession life and personal life, applied to singles who find themselves too busy to date. Or as this YouTube song "Addicted to Stress" puts it, "I love to spend a little time with this woman that I'm seeing, except we never really get a little time to spend together, so we call each other up and we talk about work."

That's why the motto of Slinky Dating is "Live Life, Love Life". When you're "too busy" to find time to socialize, you're not loving life. What you're doing is chaining yourself to the treadmill to get ahead, but you never get the time to enjoy the rewards of your hard work. It's going to be even tougher to find that balance when there's a global recession going on, so let's all try to make it our mantra next year: "I will find the time for me, and for the ones I love."

Jodie Brittain
Slinky.com.au

Budget Date Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 01:22:00 +0000

Well, with all the news lately of global economic problems, you don't need us to tell you that some people are strapped for cash.

Even when the economic forecast is sunny, young people in their dating years and students especially need some pointers on how to date inexpensively without seeming cheap. So we won't suggest you make every date a budget date, but even throwing one of these every third time or so will make a difference - and for once you'll have a different idea besides "dinner and a film"!

1. Have a 'pet date'.
Have a dog? Does your friend have a dog? Great, let's find a park where they can both romp around and frisk together, while you two can spend some time together. It almost suggests itself.

2. An ecology outing.
Everybody talks about long walks on the beach, but what about a visit to a forest, National Park, historic site, or ancient abandoned city? Some local tours in your area might prove inexpensive, and other outdoor sports such as rafting, hiking, mountain climbing, or trail biking usually have groups and tours that get together for outings. Aside from the equipment, these are cheap to attend, and even the equipment for most things isn't that far out.

3. Visit a museum.
Your local museum misses you. Museums are inexpensive and never crowded. You get to leisurely stroll through, setting your own pace. You get to impress your date with your thoughts on Rodin and Renoir. And every large city has a science exhibit, which is great fun because they're interactive. Zoos are another economical choice.

Jodie Brittain

More Budget Date Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:27:00 +0000

OK here are some more budget date ideas;

4. Go gambling.
Whoa! Gambling is not cheap, is it? Well, in any area where gambling is legal, there'll usually be a few locations catering to the "low-rollers". Penny and nickel slots, dollar bets on craps tables, video keno, horse racing and such. The benefit here is that you get to control how much you spend. Exercise restraint, and at the worst you'll have fun for a few hours and at best you'll win a jackpot.

5. Attend a convention.
Any hobby or interest which you share with your partner may be an opportunity to attend a convention geared towards it. Science fiction conventions, car shows, career fairs, electronics shows, Renaissance Faires, and all matter of organized outings are both economical and a fresh change of pace. Remember it's only as fun as you make it! Agree ahead of time that if it's a bust, you can leave early.

6. Take your date to work.
This only applies if you have a job or position where you can (a) be allowed to have social companions, and (b) they won't interfere with the job. Freelancers, professionals, any job that involves driving, and any work that gives you your own private office space is ideal. Don't invite your date to watch you work the cash register at McDonald's, but if you drive a truck cross-country, by all means bring your sweetie!

7. Attend a LAN party.
This goes for hard-core computer gamers only, which is more and more of both men and women these days. Most of these events are a small fee and "bring your own laptop". Not rollicking fun for a date, but something different - and you can always check into a room later.

Jodie Brittain

Post A Winning Photo To Your Online Dating Profile

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 01:24:00 +0000

The age of digital cameras is upon us, and with it comes what we've come to call a "proficiency illusion". That is, when a technology becomes cheap and widely available, everybody thinks that there must be nothing to it. Witness the digital art all over the web that sprung up overnight as soon as graphics editing software hit the market. Ugh.

Taking a portrait of a person is an art. It is rapidly becoming one that is unfortunately forgotten.

We'll come out and say it right here: if we never see a photo that somebody took of themselves in the bathroom mirror again, it will be too soon. These pictures are everywhere: sloppy clothes, awkwardly holding the camera, and worst of all, a streaky, dingy mirror and a background which tells the world that the subject of the photo is a huge slob.

In addition to that, the photo shows that they're someone with no imagination, else they'd be taking it in a full-length bedroom mirror, and no friends, else they'd be able to have someone else take the picture.

Here's some more ways that people fail their dating photo:

In an office:
The problem with offices is that they all have fluorescent lighting. Fluorescent light is a hard, harsh, cold light that makes everyone look terrible. It saps the color from your skin, making you look like a coldblooded zombie. It etches every wrinkle into your face, making you look ten years older.

In a bar or pub:
The problem with a bar or pub is that it's too dark. Even flash photography will only illuminate so much. Bars also don't look that great, decoratively speaking. The people in a bar don't always look their best, and might be in the mood to moon the camera over your shoulder. Finally, do you really want an image of you after a few beers or jello shots preserved forever?

Jodie Brittain
Online Dating

Most On How To Post A Winning Photo To Your Online Dating Profile

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 06:36:00 +0000

Tips for your dating profile continued...

Not dressed up:
Surely, you own something besides a dirty, torn T-shirt and a pair of raggy jeans? Even the most dedicated grunge-hound teen has at least one outfit they can wear to, say, a job interview. Being poor is no handicap in online dating. Not having a job isn't one, either. Not having the motivation to at least drag yourself to the thrift store for one set of dress pants and a jacket, however, is.

Flashing gang signs:
We know the difference between hip-hop and gang culture. You should, too. You're online looking for a date, not for a posse to help you hold up the corner store.

Up-close body parts:
Male or female, we appreciate that you're a swinging exhibitionist and you've just got to be free. At least save the detail for the second picture, if requested. The thing about taking a picture of just one part of you is that you're saying to the world "The rest of me has no value; this is the only part worth showing." Men, if you only knew how many women complain about this. Save your little buddy for after she gets to know the rest of you first.

In a costume:
Dressing up for Halloween and other fun occasions is a great time to get your picture taken. You can save that for the second picture, however. It's hard to tell what you really look like in a costume. If you think this goes without saying, you haven't browsed enough online dating profiles.

Now that we've gotten some "don't" out of the way, here's how you take a good photo for your online dating profile:

Have someone else take it.
Use warm, full light, from the front side mostly. Natural daylight is ideal. Use a neutral background - at home in the living room is fine, but make sure there isn't a lot of noisy distraction behind you in any case. Wear your best outfit and be well-groomed. Smile! Smiling is important in dating. Try to chose an outfit that expresses your personality, if that's possible. See your photo as a composition: think about the effect you want to create.

Some other ideas:
Posing with a pet or favorite hobby is fine, and gives people an idea of your interests. Posing with friends is fine, as long as you are the center of and subject of the picture, and then you have to explain which one is you.

Posing at the beach or the park is great, shows that you like to have leisurely fun, and both the ocean and green grass and trees make for an excellent background. Posing at work is cool only if you have a prestigious job. Work uniforms are great if you're talking fireman or air force, not so great if you're talking Woolworths.

Jodie Brittain
Free Online Dating

The reason singles leave online dating sites

noreply@blogger.com (Jodie Brittain) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:15:00 +0000

We have a short survey for members when they suspend their online dating accounts at slinky.com.au

Before they suspend their memberships they are asked why they are leaving us. I have included the results from the last 12 months for you to see.

Account Suspend Statistics

25.37% - - 1. I have found a partner here
21.83% - - 2. I have found a partner at another dating site
17.99% - - 3. I have found a partner somewhere else
03.17% - - 4. I just joined for a look around - I've got a partner
15.35% - - 5. I just joined for a look - but changed my mind
01.27% - - 6. I just joined for a look - but I want a sex site
01.20% - - 7. The site was too slow
01.41% - - 8. I was sent too much system mail
04.77% - - 9. The matches didn't suit me
02.47% - - 10. Not enough members in my area

Hope you find it interesting.

Have fun dating.

Jodie Brittain