In the world of online dating you rarely have the whole picture or whole story about someone. Dating communication is often carried out through a series of emails and direct messaging.

It is not through direct face to face contact and as a result you assume a lot about your prospective date.

You have to assume a lot about not only who they are as a person in real life but also what there words really mean.

Some people tend to use a lot of sarcasm in their voice while others are very literal.

You have to make the decision how you are going to translate the text into emotion. You can frame it in a positive of negative way – that’s your choice.

Online daters are misinterpreting what other online daters are saying every single second of every day. A guy might make a joke about a womens size,the women takes it to heart and stops all communication. The guy not realising the female has body issues thinks she is weird for taking it so seriously.

Who knows what might have happened if there was just a touch more information and communication rather than snap judgements.

You also have to trust that they are who they say they are. This process of inference and trust building through messaging and then perhaps a video chat is quite different from the normal real life seduction process.

The normal seduction process relies heavily on non verbal ques and body language.

Without these online dating is really all about getting contacts and seducing offline.

So make sure you use online dating for what it’s really great at – connecting with local singles, and not for seducing women.
That should be left for later when you have all of human senses at play. You can use flirting and body language.

Plus you can make sure she doesn’t misinterpret your humour.

So as a quick conclusion to online dating communication:

Make sure you are not giving women any reason to misinterpret what you are saying.

Be clear with your explanations and chat. If you think they are not getting where you are coming from ask them and explain.

Dont make any snap judgements of decisions based on a small comment that hit a nerve. First make sure they were not joking or meaning something completely different.

This should save you from missing out on a ton of dates.

Use video chat where possible so that you can really see how your online date is reacting.

They may actually be quite unimpressed with your small talk or humour.

Online dating communication can be tough due to inferences and guesswork. Take the guesswork out through better descriptions and explanations of your real intentions.

Ensure your contacts are getting the real picture through the haze of text speech, colloquial language and jokes.

Reasons why you don’t want to be the nice guy:

If you are trying to find a girlfriend or just wondering why the heck your still single read on…

Being the nice guy might make you feel good about yourself but when it comes to attracting women it blows.
You might as well be a chick for the good it’s doing you.

Don’t trust women when they tell you that they are looking for a sweet cute nice guy to date. That’s what they think they are looking for but women are confused as hell over this subject.

For one… attraction is not a choice so by explaining who they are attracted to is not a great start (I guess you can stereotype the usual people you end up with)

But what girls think they are attracted to and who they actually end up being with are most certainly two different things.

Long story short you don’t want to be the nice guy opening doors and answering phone calls from all of your “girlfriends” after they got dumped.

You just don’t want to be that guy – they should be calling their girlfriends for that sort of thing.

Nice guys seem like they are attracting girls because girls are attracted to the sensitive nature and boyish good looks of the sensitive man. Do not mistake this for sexual attraction.

Accept that the women is attracted to the nice guy in a “he’s akin to my future baby” sort of way. (not what your after)

Nice guys do not get girls in the end because women are not attracted to them on a sexual level. Women might want to argue that sex is not a part of it but I can assure you it is.

Being the nice guy can work through school but just make sure you grow up afterwards.

As soon as the baby maker starts firing up women are attracted to the protector and the giver of resources.

Become the authority figure, bad boy, rich man, whatever you need to be… just not the nice guy.

How to be more attractive to women

If you are currently in a dating rut and believe you have tried everything but still can’t seem to attract the opposite sex read on…

If I were to say that your attraction with women is at least 90% psychological you would likely call B.S. right?

If I were to say that your appearance has very little to do with attracting women you would also think I’m nuts right?

If you have two guys with exactly the same humour and confidence: one ugly one attractive : yes the more attractive guy will do better with women… but you will be surprised at how wee the funny confident guy does!

Because we are such visual people we automatically and falsely assume that women are attracted to looks.

Yes

Looks are important but not nearly as important as how you act.

If you want to be more attractive to women the first step would be to work on

- Confidence

- Personality

But first lets get that 5% of your life that you think is so important out of the way so you have NO excuses.

Your Appearance

If you really think that your appearance is whats holding you back then all you need to do is:

Get in shape (get slim by running with meal plans – you can also do some gym work)

Wardrobe (you will know deep down if your cloths suck)

A good test is to remember when you last bought clothes – if you haven’t bought clothes in the last 5 years you could be out of touch. All you really need is a smart pair of jeans and a dress shirt for the night. And play is casual with shorts t shirt and sandals during the day (personal preference)

Once your in shape with some good clothes on your back you have no excuse…

The real game starts here

In order to be more attractive with women you need to start acting the right way…

The best way for me to explain this to you is give you an example.

Watch the video below and watch how kassem acts.

He does everything to women that triggers attraction

(I’m not saying he’s unattractive but he is a good example of a confident personality)

Reasons why kassem will have no trouble attracting women

He’s a likable character

He compliments women where necessary but does it indirectly

He makes women laugh

He’s confident and forward (controlling the conversation)

He puts women down (letting them know that he’s not impressed by their beauty) Even if you clearly are attracted, and they know you are…

At least you have the balls to stand up and jokingly put hot women down. They will be impressed as not many men do this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLs-a62TKmE

So what did you think of the video? You should watch it if you haven’t. Kassm goes up to random people and does interviews.
Occasionally with attractive girls as shown above.

Is he serious? No

Is he trying to impress them? No

In fact he acts quite the opposite (likely not intentional but it sure works)

Even if your not funny like kassemg you sure can use his approach to increase your success with women. Just give it a try.

This attraction thing is pretty hard because there is a fine line between freaking the women and actually triggering female attraction.

Notice how kassem quickly “apologizes” if he thinks he has gone too far and hurt the girls feelings. He doesn’t care if the are not attracted to him he is simply their to get interesting conversation started.

If you really want to be more attractive to women you need to practice mimicking successful guys. Guys who act a certain way, they act with confidence and playful arrogance.

It’s not about what cologne you use or if your fat or not. Kassem wears wolf t shirts and glasses!

Get out there and eliminate your fear of rejection by not caring whether a women likes you or not just go up to them and start conversation.

Remove the pressure that YOU place on yourself. The conversation doesn’t need to be a success or have an outcome!

Just chat to women, joke about their hair style, mimic kassem g’s style or pick someone you can relate to.

Remember the conversation need not have a start or end or be a success or failure. You are just there to practice being more playful and confident with women.

You can learn to be more attractive to women by studying successful men. Men who act a certain way without really trying to are the ones you want to study. It wont be easy at the start so keep an open mind. Failures are just a stepping stone to greater success with women.

You wont be more attractive to women without failing in conversation a few times (or lots of times) So embrace the fail and learn from it.

You are not trying to “pick up” women. So there is no need to be armed with pick up lines.

RELAX – remove the pressure to perform that you have placed on yourself. It is the biggest barrier to your success with women.

It does not matter whether the conversation goes well or not.

Becoming more attractive to women is a process – learn and grow as a man and you will soon find hot women to be just as approachable as anyone else.

How To Choose A Dating Site

It can be a tough choice to pick the right dating service these days… According to dating.about.com there are more than 9 million dating services currently available. Kind of hard to believe, I think most of these will be inactive and not worth signing up for but you can be sure the choice is there.

Depending on how thorough you want to be choosing and signing up for a dating site will take anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 hours.

Step 1: What are you looking for

The kinds of relationships could include

Friends only

Marriage

Adult Dating

Friends with benefits

Casual Dating

Friendship dating that could lead to romance

Step 2: What do you want?

List attributes and physical characteristics of your ideal date. What type of personality suits you? Be very specific.

Intelligence

Level of activity

Height

Weight

Interests

Hobbies

Do they need to be a certain religion?

Are they required to act a certain way?

All of these factors will play a role in which dating site you choose.

Price

Like everything there are price ranges and levels of dating service quality.

Decide if now how much you are willing to spend to find love. You can decide to not spend anything at all and visit the free dating sites but be aware that you won’t get the quality of singles or service.

Come up with a monthly amount you are willing to spend.

Cross check with

http://www.pullingladies.com/pl-online-dating-pricing-guide-2010/

It is likely that you have already heard of a few dating sites just by being online. Match.com, eHarmony.com are huge sites… but vary in the type of service they provide.

Create You List

Use google or yahoo to come up with a list of 10 dating sites that could work for you.

Using your selection criteria above:

Say your Christian and want to date other Christians, type in “Christian dating” you will come up with sites such as loveandseek or Christianmingle

You might want a quick anonymous relationship or fling. Type in “fling dating” and you should get sites like fling.com or

Benaughty

Just type in what you are looking for with “dating” on the end

Use google but don’t rely on them: Check out other reviews here

http://www.pullingladies.com/category/dating-online/

Final Decision

Whats most important to you?

In a dating site you will find that each service specialises in certain features. Some have great personality matching
(eHarmony,Chemsitry – others have great search features.

What is most important to you? If you are looking for a site with ease of use and simplicity check out each dating site you
have listed and cross check them with what’s important to you.

Cut your list of ten sites down to 5
Sign up with these 5 dating sites using the free sign up features. Browse the singles and come up with your favourite site based on what you are looking for.

You will want to look at quality and quantity of singles in your area. Test each of the 5 sites thoroughly before making your final decision.

If you want to be really certain that your dating site is legitimate be sure it is a common name and search
http://www.scam.com for any dodgy news.

In the end it’s up to you which dating site you choose. If it’s your first time stick with one of the dating sites listed here:

http://www.pullingladies.com/pl-online-dating-pricing-guide-2010/

So you want to date online… But you have no idea where to start…

Which online dating service is for you?

Which are the cheapest?

Which dating service will have the largest number of personals in your area?

What is a dating profile anyway?

In the online dating 101 article we’ll walk you through the basic steps, a quick crash course to get you started.

1. Know What You Want

Before you choose your dating service you are going to want to understand what you want from the experience. If your looking for love and marriage your service is going to be different from all the fling sites.

If you way to the right wing and just want sex (hey some dudes do) then benaughty or even adult friend finder could be up your ally.

Understand you emotional situation – are you currently weakened by a divorce or break up?

How long has it been before you have dated?

Get all of this on paper or at least understand in your head where you are coming from.

Know is a good idea to decide whether you are going to create an online avatar or use all of your real details.

2. Choose Your Online Dating Service

Wow… Soo many to choose from here. Problem is many of them are dominated by certain subcultures of people, ethnicities, ages, agendas and countries.

If your a meat eating man from London UK you don’t want to login to a site full vegetarian
Californians right? You can always play it safe and go with say match.com which has a decent span of all subcultures as well as origins.

Meaning the database is soo large you are certain to find some local singles no matter where you live (within reason)

So it’s a matter of defining who you are and what you want. Are you going to go single mother/mature singles/cougar/vegan niche dating or play it safe and go mainstream.

If you knew to dating – Obviously you are reading dating 101 then I would strongly suggest you keep it steady for your first try.

Even sites such as lavalife, eHarmony okCupid or Matchmaker should do the trick.

3. Test The Waters

Double check your paid online dating service and test the waters with a free dating site.

Create a dummy email address at gmail or ymail and sign up with okcupid.com and plentyoffish.com

This will iron out anything you are unsure of and perhaps even put you in the next class up (dating 102)

You will want to double check your paid dating site by looking at pricing guides

http://www.pullingladies.com/pl-online-dating-pricing-guide-2010/
and just look at some reviews. Check if they are safe and at least in the top 10 to 20 dating sites online. You don’t want to be giving your credit card details to some dude in china!

4. Write A Dating Profile

Preferably write the draft offline in MS word so all your spelling is good. Get examples of great profiles so that you know what works.

The best way is to just be yourself and explain exactly what you are looking for. Decide how heavily you want to screen by what you put in your profile.

This profile thing can be tricky because your selling yourself, sell to hard and you look like a dick, sell to soft and you nothing to offer.

Be honest – Be yourself – Take your time

5. Check Your Email – Be proactive

Don’t go checking it obsessively – once or twice a day is more than enough.

If you’re not getting the responses you had hoped for try changing your profile picture or altering your profile and headline.

Reply courteously to interested members but also don’t forget to actively browse singles and email them!

Be proactive

6. Scammers

Unfortunately for the thousands of legitimate online daters you will get some nasty folk. Always video chat before meeting up and always meet in a public place. If it sounds all to good to be true alarm bells should be ringing.