Online Dating to Relationships

IS ONLINE DATING WORTH IT?

2010-08-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

It can seem a bit daunting to put in all of that effort only to meet someone and not feel any chemistry with them, or to meet someone and get rejected. You might wonder if all the time, effort, and money that you will invest in online dating will be worth it.

But consider the alternative. If you don’t use online dating to try and find a partner, what will you try? Bars? Nightclubs? Bookstores? The grocery store? Online dating might involve a bit of time and effort but the chances of meeting someone special are far higher if you use online dating instead of a more traditional method of meeting someone.

No one wants to end up alone and, unfortunately, sometimes it takes awhile to find that special someone. If you don’t put yourself out there then not only will you miss your chance to find that special someone, you could miss out on that special someone finding you.

Besides, isn’t finding real, lasting love worth a bit of time, effort, and money? Can you put a price on the loneliness that you will feel if you end up growing old alone? Don’t give up without a fight. Put yourself out there. Chances are good that you will find someone that you want to have a relationship with.

It may take some time to find the right online dating site for you and to build a great profile and get great photos for your profile, but at least by going online and trying online dating you are taking control of your life and trying to help make your life better by finding someone to share it with.

It can be scary to take the risk of trying online dating but do it anyway. You’ll be glad that you did. When you find that person that makes your heart flutter and your stomach jump, you will be glad that you tried online dating after all.

Online Dating, We need to be able to learn from rejection

2010-08-27T15:23:00.000-07:00

Instead of dwelling on the fact that one of the people you were interested in online rejected you, it would be better to use your energy to figure out why they rejected you and work on correcting it.
Maybe there was no problem; maybe it just wasn’t mean to be. That could certainly be the case. That is just a part of life and you need to just move on. But maybe there was something you could have done differently that would have improved your chances.
If you have been rejected a lot and you want to know if there is something that you’re doing that is off-putting to your dates, ask a friend to go on a ‘date’ with you. Dress and act exactly like you would if you were meeting that friend for the first time. Your friend can let you know if you are not coming across as confident, or if your clothes send the wrong message, or if there are other things you can do to present yourself in a better way.
That might seem silly at first, but think about it. What better way to get an idea of how you come across on a date than to have one of your friends tell you their opinion? It can be a great learning tool.
For other useful tools to help you learn more about online dating, look on the website of the online dating service that you use. Many of the online dating services offer an entire library of helpful articles, advice columns, quizzes, and other tools to help their members create great profiles and plan great dates.
If you are still having trouble figuring out why the other person didn’t want to see you, it might be a good idea to ask him or her. Just ask once, and if you don’t get a response don’t push the issue but it might be helpful to hear directly from him or her why they didn’t want to go on another date with you.
Just be sure that if you do ask for honest feedback that you’re ready to handle it. You might get back an answer you don’t want to hear like “You’re too fat” or “You’re too skinny” or “You were boring.” Those things can be painful to hear.
Try not to see the rejection as a personal insult but as a learning experience and it will be much easier to move on. Take comfort in knowing that everyone gets rejected, many times, and that eventually, if you keep going you can find someone who loves you because you’re you.

Online Dating, Dealing With Rejection

2010-08-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you will be the one that is getting rejected. It’s unpleasant. It hurts. It’s humiliating. And it happens to everyone. It’s entirely possible that you can meet the love of your life online but, unfortunately, it’s also entirely possible that you will face a lot of rejection before you find that love.
So how do you deal with it when someone that you thought you really connected with doesn’t want to see you again? It’s tough. No matter how many times it happens it’s always tough. It is okay to feel bad about it.
If you were getting along very well with the other person before you met in person and after that the other person didn’t want to see you again it’s easy to assume that the problem was the way you look or that the person didn’t find you attractive but that might not be it at all. There could be a thousand reasons that the other person didn’t want to pursue the relationship.
Not every relationship is going to work out. If you have a hard time handling rejection then online dating might be hard for you. Sometimes, people can find great relationships right away but sometimes people need to wade through a lot of ads and a lot of first dates before finding a person that they want to pursue a serious relationship with.
As you get more experienced at dating online you will grow a thicker skin and it will be easier to shrug it off when someone you thought that you had some chemistry with decided that he or she doesn’t want to see you again.
If it makes you feel better to wallow a little after getting rejected then go right ahead and wallow. Spend a weekend on the couch in your pajamas with a pizza and a gallon of ice cream watching chick flicks and crying. Go out with your buddies to drink and talk about how the other person lost out on a great catch. Do whatever you need to do in order to help you get over it.
Then pick yourself up and try again. It might not be easy to find the love of your life but he or she is out there and you will never find that person if you’re not looking. You don’t have to jump into another relationship right away but at least update your online profile and search through some profiles to see if you find any of them interesting.

Remember the saying about the lottery, “You have to be in it to win it”? Well, in order to win the dating lottery you have to put your profile out there and face a little rejection from time to time.

Online Dating, AFTER THE DATE

2010-08-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

So you made it through the first meeting. Now what? Do you want to see that person again? Does he or she want to see you? A good indication that the other person wants to see you again is if he or she calls two or three days after the date or sends an email.
You can also call or send an email two or three days after the date if you want to see that person again. But wait a couple of days after the date to contact the person again. If you call or write immediately after the date you will look needy.

IF YOU BOTH WANT TO MEET AGAIN
Success! You have now entered your first relationship that came from online dating. If you both liked each other and felt some chemistry then you should start dating. You might want to put your profile with the online dating service on hold while you date so that you don’t get any more people trying to contact you while you are in a relationship.

If you think that the chances of meeting someone that you will want to have a serious relationship with online are slight, think again. Millions of couples all over the world have gotten married to someone they met through an online dating service. You can indeed find a great spouse and partner through online dating.

IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN
It can be hard when you don’t want to see the other person again. Maybe you didn’t feel any chemistry or maybe you just didn’t like the person after hanging out with him or her for awhile. For whatever reason, you have decided that you don’t want to see that person again, but that person wants to go out with you again. Now what do you do?
Your first instinct will probably be to just block that person’s email address and delete their phone messages without listening to them until he or she takes the hint and goes away. But that’s the coward’s way out. The other person will be able to see that you are still active on the dating site. He or she will know you’re avoiding them.
You need to be perfectly honest with that person and tell him or her nicely that you don’t want to pursue a relationship with them. It can be hard but you owe it to that person to be honest and respectful. Send a polite email explaining that you didn’t feel any chemistry and don’t want to pursue the relationship. Don’t just ignore him or her.

Online Dating, HOW TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

2010-08-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to make a good first impression on their dates. Some rules for making a good impression apply only to women, and some only to men.

But there are some ways that everyone can make a good impression.
• Stand up straight
• Make eye contact often
• Be confidence
• Get your hair cut or styled before the date
• Polish your shoes
• Get a manicure
• Go easy on the perfume or cologne
• Pay attention to your date
• Don’t fidget
• Don’t expect your date to pay
• Be respectful to the wait staff in a restaurant or coffee shop
• Don’t swear
• Make your date laugh
• Be on time
• Have nice manners

If you do all of these things and treat your date in a polite and respectful way then you’ll probably have a wonderful time and your date will definitely be impressed with you.

Online Dating, WHAT NOT TO DO ON A FIRST DATE

2010-08-17T15:14:00.000-07:00

When you’re trying to make a good impression on a first date, there are some things that you should never do. Man or woman, doing any of these things is almost guaranteed to make sure that the other person won’t want to see you again.
Don’t be late – Being late is rude and disrespectful. It tells the other person that you don’t care enough about meeting them to bother being on time. Don’t be late. It’s just that simple.
Now, if an emergency arises, like you got into an accident on the way to the meeting place, or you got lost, or something of that nature it’s understandable to be late. Sometimes, things do happen that can make you late.
But if that happens you need to call the other person as soon as you know you are going to be late and explain what happened. Together, you can decide if you want to reschedule or if the other person will wait for you to arrive.
Don’t ask questions that are too personal, remember that you have really just met the other person. Don’t ask questions that might make the other person uncomfortable. Don’t discuss sex or ask any questions about sex.
Don’t discuss controversial subjects – Have you heard the old adage that you shouldn’t discuss religion or politics at a party? Well, the same goes for a first date. Leave the discussion of serious topics that might be sensitive for when you know the other person better.
Don’t run away – Even if you don’t find the other person attractive when you meet, you should never just leave. Don’t sneak out when that person is in the restroom or away from the table. Don’t pretend to get a phone call and dash out.
If you really don’t find the person attractive and feel that you can’t even sit and have a cup of coffee and talk with that person for a little while then you need to tell the person that you’re sorry but you just don’t see any future for the two of you and leave.
Even if you don’t find the other person attractive after you meet you should still be kind and respectful. There’s no need to be mean about it, just tell them the truth.

Online Dating, What to wear on a first date

2010-08-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

For both men and women, choosing what to wear to that first meeting can be a nerve-wracking experience. You want to look nice but not formal, comfortable but not sloppy, and, of course, you need to wear something appropriate for the place that you’re meeting.

Since you have talked to your online date but not met yet, there is even more anxiety than there would be with a normal date because you will be really nervous about the other person finding you attractive. But you can get through it!

So how can you find the perfect thing to wear that will make a great first impression? Here are some tips for picking out the perfect outfit to wear on your first date.

Comfort is essential – Since the situation is already going to be a little awkward and uncomfortable, it’s important that you are wearing something that is comfortable so that you will feel comfortable and not be fussing with your clothes all night.

If you are uncomfortable in your clothes, that will show in how you interact with your date and it will make you both uncomfortable. So picking an outfit that is comfortable and flattering is the most important thing.

Pick something appropriate – What you wear should be appropriate for where you are going. If you are going out for coffee, dressy jeans and a nice sweater or shirt and jacket should be fine. If you’re going to the park, don’t wear a mini skirt or a business suit and tie. Plan an outfit appropriate for the location.

If you think that you might want to get dinner or something after the initial meeting you can bring a bag with a nicer outfit in it in case you need to change.
Don’t dress too sexy – This is a mistake that a lot of people, especially women, make when meeting for the first time. Pick an outfit that is sexy in an understated way if you want to dress a little sexy. Feminine and sophisticated is far sexier on a first date than a shrink wrapped dress, cleavage baring top, or micro mini skirt and high heels.

Your outfit will be a big part of the first impression that you make so pay attention to things like cut, color, shape, and the quality of the clothes. Never wear clothes that are dirty, ripped, or that you would wear to the gym on a date.

Online Dating, THE BEST PLACES FOR A FIRST DATE

2010-08-10T03:09:00.000-07:00

Now that you know where not to take your date the first time you meet, you’re probably wondering what the best places are for a first date with someone from an online dating service. Here are some of the best places to meet for that first date.
Coffee shops – Some people think that meeting at a coffee shop is unromantic but it doesn’t have to be. Meeting at a coffee shop is practical because coffee shops are relaxed environments, usually, that encourage conversation. You can get a beverage and settle in for a nice chat.

When the date goes well you can talk for hours or you can make plans to meet again for dinner or to talk later. If the date goes badly you can have a quick coffee and leave. Coffee shops are very busy places with lots of people so they are the perfect spot for a first meeting.

The park is a great place to meet, provided you meet during the day when there are likely to be lots of people around. You can go for a walk, play on the swings, or just sit on a bench and talk. Going to the park on a nice day can be a great first meeting spot that is also free.

What about Brunch,If you do want to meet for a meal instead of a long dinner, try meeting for weekend brunch. The food is great, and there may be some alcohol around but not that much. Brunch is quick and doesn’t usually take hours like dinner does. Brunch is also a very festive meal where people are more relaxed and the atmosphere is more conducive to conversation.

A dinner, like a coffee shop, is a place where people like to gather and hang out. Friendly and low-key, a diner is great because you can just have a quick cup of coffee if you find that you don’t have any chemistry with the other person or want to end the meeting. Or you can stay and order some food and just hang out and talk if the meeting is great and you find that you don’t want to end the meeting.

Window shopping may sounds a bit crazy but the local mall can be a really fun place to meet for the first time. It’s very public, there are all kinds of food and beverages available, and you can sit at a table in the food court, talk and people watch, or you can window shop in fun stores.

Online dating, WORST PLACES FOR A FIRST DATE

2010-08-07T15:07:00.000-07:00

In view of the fact that you want to keep that first date low key and in public, there are some places that you should definitely not go for a first date with someone you have met online. Here are a few of the places and activities to avoid when you are planning a first date with a new love from the Internet.

Family functions is not what you want for your Internet date to know too many personal things about you including where your family lives. You also shouldn’t subject someone you’ve never met to your family functions if there’s a chance you want to go out with them again.
Nightclubs are never a good choice for a date because you won’t be able to talk or get to know each other. Plus the presence of alcohol might make things awkward or unsafe.

A concert or theater show you should generally avoid anything with tickets as a first date when you are meeting someone you have never met before. If you don’t like the person you will be stuck with them at the event for at least two hours in most cases. If you are interested in the person you won’t have much chance to talk and get to know one another. Save the theater, movie, or other event for another date. This goes for sporting events as well.

Not the beach as your nerves will already be on edge wondering what the other person will think of you. Do you want to add appearance anxiety over how you look in a bathing suit to that stress? Save the beach for a romantic date later on.

Maybe a Museums. Even though a museum sounds like a great place to meet, you have to remember that you will be meeting for the first time so you want to go somewhere that you can talk and assess if you want to see that person again. The intellectual atmosphere of a museum might be too much for a quick first meeting. Once you have been on a few dates together and know that you share a love of art or science then think about scheduling a museum date.

Lavish or expensive restaurants – If you are meeting your date for dinner it can be intimidating to meet in a very exclusive and expensive restaurant. Also, if the date doesn’t go well you will have spent a fortune on dinner for nothing. Skip the fancy restaurants on the first date. So next post what is a good first date.

Online Dating, STAYNG SAFE WHEN YOU MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME

2010-08-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

No one wants to think that the exciting new person they met online might be a rapist, murderer, stalker, or psycho. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
It might seem overly fussy to take all of these precautions to protect your safety but wouldn’t you rather be fussy then get into a situation where you might get hurt or even killed? Even though it might seem unnecessary, follow these tips and tricks for staying safe the first time you meet someone that you found online.
Meet at the place of the date – Don’t tell the person where you live or invite him or her to your house. Meet at the place of the date instead. If the date doesn’t work out then you probably don’t want this person knowing where you live or what the layout of your house is like.
Always meet in public yes it sounds so simple but it can save your life. Never invite a stranger to your home for your first date or go somewhere very secluded. Meet in a public place like a restaurant, mall, or even a park. Anywhere that has a constant flow of peole in and out so that there are always people around is a good place to hold a first meeting.
Stay safe on that first date
Have a cell phone and make sure that the battery on your cell phone is fully charged and that you have plenty of minutes on it if it’s a pre-paid cell.
If your phone has a GPS tracking device on it, turn the device on for the evening. Keep your cell phone somewhere that is easily accessible, like your coat pocket or pants pocket. Don’t leave the cell phone in your car; keep it on you if at all possible.
Tell everyone where you are going yes let your friends or family know where you are going and what time the date is scheduled for. Print out a copy of your date’s online personals profile and write down the person’s name, phone number, and address if you have it.
It only takes a few minutes to gather all the information that you have on your new date but if something were to happen it would give your friends and family or the police the information they need to start looking for you.
Take cash with you as we mostly use our ATM/Debit cards for everyday purchases and don’t really carry much cash, but it’s a good idea to have some cash in handwhen you’re going to meet someone new.
Watch your drink, even if you are just having coffee or having soda or tea with dinner and not an alcoholic drink you should always keep an eye on your drink.
It would be very easy for your date to drop something into your drink or even into your food when you weren’t looking.
Never, Never leave your drink unattended. Finish your drink or your food before using the restroom, if possible. If thats not possible, when you come back from the restroom don’t finish your food and order a new drink, just to be sure.
Watch your belongings – Keep an eye on your purse or wallet and know where they are at all times. Make sure that you have your important items like driver’s license, credit card, and cash in a hidden pocket if possible.
Ladies, if you get up to use the restroom, take your purse with you; don’t leave it sitting at the table. Guys, never leave your wallet on the table or take it out of your pocket except to pay the check.
Do not get drunk when you meet in a bar or restaurant for a couple of drinks, make sure that you know your limits. Don’t get drunk and be sure to get an appetizer or some kind of snack with your drinks to balance out the alcohol you’re drinking.
Pay attention to your date’s body language – Watch how your date behaves and how his or her body language is. Does your date seem controlling or bullying like insisting on ordering for you or insisting that you have more to drink? That’s a red flag and you should be wary.
If your date seems nervous, anxious, or keeps checking his or watch, that could be a sign that they are not having a good time or a sign that something else is going on but either way, if that’s the case, it might be time to end the date.
Don’t wear constricting clothing or too-high heels – Ladies this one is for you. You need to be comfortable, and you need to be mobile. Never wear clothing so constricting you couldn’t move in it or shoes with heels so high you couldn’t run if you had to.
These precautions are just to keep you safe and are a good idea to use whenever you are dating even if meeting the person in a more traditional way. Staying safe is important, so take safety and security seriously. Most likely, you won’t need any of these security measures but just in case, its good idea to follow them when you’re on that first date.

Online Dating, TIPS FOR A GREAT FIRST PHONE CALL

2010-07-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

The first call is a really good chance to make a great first impression. So how can you make a great first impression when you are talking on the phone with a potential date? Here are some tips that will help get you through that nerve wracking first phone call.
Have something to say – Nothing is worse than calling a potential date and not offering any conversation topics and just responding to the other person in monosyllables. It makes you look boring, uninterested, and unattractive.
You know you’re going to be talking to this person so plan out some topics of conversation in advance. They don’t have to be heavy topics, but they should be related to the other person’s interests. Talk about vacation plans, favorite holidays, favorite hobbies, or other areas of common interest.
Know who you’re talking to – If you have contacted or been contacted by several people through the dating service and are planning phone calls with more than one person, make sure that you know which person you are talking to and what their interests are.
Keep a cheat sheet by the phone that has each person’s name and a few details about them like “ Mike – 32, mechanic, likes fishing” or “Natalie, 26, grad student in English” so that you won’t make a mistake.
Ask lots of questions – Asking questions is a great way to get the conversation to flow and to learn more about that other person. Don’t ask the same questions over and over again; that’s creepy. But most people appreciate it when the other person takes an interest in their hobbies, education, or work. Asking questions will also help you get a better idea of what that person is like so that you can decide if you want to meet them for an actual date or not. Let the other person answer the questions fully and don’t interrupt them to say “Me too!” or “wow what did you do then?” No one likes to be interrupted.
When you’re on the phone with someone that you want to date, just use common sense and basic phone etiquette that you would use when you were talking to anyone on the phone. Turn off the TV and radio. Don’t be surfing the net for new dates and trying to talk to a potential date. Don’t interrupt the other person. Don’t be rude. Remember that you are talking to someone that you want to date, not one of your buddies, and act accordingly.
Don’t play phone tag – Even if you’re nervous about making the first call, don’t call when you know the other person won’t be around just so that you can leave a message. This puts the pressure on the other person to call you back. He or she might decide to call you when you’re not available like you did to him or her.
No good relationship can come from games like that. If you don’t want to call the other person then tell him or her that. If you do want to talk to him or her on the phone then call first. Make the first move. But don’t do it when you know that the other person is unavailable like when that person is at work.
Call when you say you will – it’s very important to call on time. If you have made a phone date for Tuesday at 8 pm you need to call Tuesday at 8 pm or call earlier than 8pm and change the time. Don’t wait and call at 9 or 9.30 and expect the other person to talk to you.
You need to show that you really want this phone call to happen. If you want to make a great first impression, calling on time says that you are punctual and responsible and also that you are really interested in getting to know that other person.
Not calling on time says that you are rude, disrespectful, and not that interested. If you don’t call on time or don’t call at all, don’t expect the other person to return any of your emails after that. Chances are good that the other person moved on to someone else.
Know when the call is over - When the conversation starts to have frequent pauses or the conversation isn’t flowing as well as it was then it’s probably time
to end the call. Leaving the other person still wanting to talk with you adds to the mystery and will make that person more interested in you. Plus, you will need to have more things to talk about for the next phone call, or the first date.
Don’t just say, “Well thanks I have to go now,” and hang up. End the call gracefully. Tell the other person you’ve really enjoyed talking with him or her and ask if he or she would like to talk again. If so, you can set up another phone date or suggest that the two of you meet for a real date.
When the other person enjoyed the call as well then you could be well on your way to having a great in person date with that person.

Ms Jean McDowell : Connected Contacts

2010-07-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

Ms Jean McDowell : Connected Contacts

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Cheers Jean McDowell

Online Dating, That First Telephone Call

2010-07-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

Once you have made contact with someone through email that you think shows some promise, it’s time to think about the next step. Once you feel comfortable with someone in email and possibly in chat, it’s time for a phone conversation.
Is it really important to talk on the phone before you meet? Some people think it is, some people think it isn’t. It’s a good idea just because it is one more process that you can use to weed out someone before you are trapped on a date with that person.

You may have gotten wonderful romantic emails from this person but you don’t know how long it took that person to write the emails, or even if they wrote the emails or if someone else wrote them instead. It’s easy to sound witty and clever and romantic in an email.

When you are talking on the phone with a person, you can tell if that person has decent social skills and can carry on a conversation. The other person may have spent hours writing the emails that turned your head, but when you talk to that person and have a real conversation, you will know if the person is really as funny and witty and clever as the emails made him or her seem.

Talking on the phone will also help you get a better sense of what the other person is really like. It’s difficult to decide if you want to date someone based only on words on a screen. You need to hear the other person’s voice and how they speak in order to know if you’re really interested in meeting them.

, talking on the phone gives you a chance to be more comfortable with that person before you meet for the first time. If someone really wants to meet you but doesn’t want to talk on the phone, it might be a red flag that the person is a bully or worse.

It’s your choice whether you want to talk on the phone with a potential date before meeting him or her in real life but many online dating experts agree that it’s a good idea for many reasons.

So once you have emailed a few times and you feel like there is potential with a particular person, email that person and ask him or her If they agree it’s time for that first phone call and set up a “phone date.”

Online Dating, IS YOUR ONLINE DATE HIDING SOMETHING?

2010-07-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Those are some of the really obvious red flags that you need to avoid. But some signs that someone might not be a person that you want to have a relationship with are more subtle and may not really come through until you have exchanged a few emails or talked on the phone a few times and are really starting to get to know each other. Here are some clues that your new dating partner might be hiding something from you, like a spouse.

“Don’t call me, I’ll call you” – If you only have one phone number to use to contact your date and he or she says that you should only use that number in case of an emergency or if you call the number and it always goes straight to voicemail, that is not a good sign. Even if the person is not hiding something you should not always have to wait for the other person to call when it’s convenient for him or her.

Calling at odd hours – If your date can only talk to you after 3 AM, or after 8 AM, or calls randomly throughout the day but hangs up quickly, your date might be trying to hide phone calls to you from a spouse or another date.
Staying in all the time – If all of your dates consist of take out and movies at your place then your date might be scared that his or her spouse or someone who knows both of them might see you two out at a restaurant or movie.
Movie and take out dates can be a lot of fun, but if that’s all the two of you ever seem to do then there might be a reason your date wants to stay in all the time.

, if the person you’re dating doesn’t want his or her friends to meet you or resists the idea of parties or other group gatherings, it could be that your new date is trying to hold an old spouse.No family talk – When people are getting to know one another they usually will talk about their families. If your date is hesitant to discuss family details, he or she may be afraid that they will slip up and mention a spouse.

Bring out a photo album of your family and while you are showing off pictures, ask your date if he or she has any family photos that you can see. If the date says no or seems uncomfortable, he or she might be hiding something.

Unwilling to bring you home – If you always meet at your house and the other person seems reluctant or unwilling to take you to his or her place, it could be because there is someone else at home that they don’t want you to know about.
If your new partner is already married or is living with someone and is in a serious relationship then there will be a lot of signs that should give away that fact so keep alert the last thing you want is to give your heart to the wrong person.

Online Dating, BULLYING is alive and well online.

2010-07-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

It starts out simple like “I sent you an email over an hour ago but you haven’t responded so I’m sending another. I think we should get together tonight. I want to meet in person right away so that neither of us wastes time if there’s no chemistry. Chemistry is very important to me so we should meet tonight, or tomorrow, to find out if we have it or not. I don’t want to waste my time. So call me or email me back immediately please so we can set up a time and place to meet. “

Anyone that sends an email like that to you should be ignored. Clearly, this person is not interested in you at all, and doesn’t care about your thoughts or feelings. The language also shows a very dominant, controlling nature, which is definitely something you want to avoid in a relationship.
Delete these email. Don’t even respond to the person.

NEEDS TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION

So let’s get things started huh? What’s your full name? Where do you live? Do you own or rent? Let’s go out to dinner. I’ll call ahead and make reservations but they might require a credit card number to hold the reservation and I don’t have a credit card. Can we use yours? Send me your credit card number, expiration date and security code and I’ll make the reservation. I’ll pay for dinner, but I was planning to pay with cash. Send that info to me ASAP so I can make the reservation before they fill up!”

Anytime that someone asks for any personal information but especially personal financial information, you know that person is up to no good. No one that really wants to date you is going to ask you for your financial history or your credit card or bank account information. This is a new twist on the classic scam of making a date with someone and then “forgetting” to bring a wallet with cash or a credit card.

It’s been said before but it’s worth repeating. Never give out your personal information online, especially financial information. If you are really concerned or if you want to be sure that the person writing you is trustworthy before you date them, consider having a background check done. You can have a background check done online if you know the person’s name and address. It’s an inexpensive way to get some peace of mind.

Online Dating, Look Out for GRAPHIC EMAILS

2010-07-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

“I’m very into alternative lifestyles, are you? I really like to explore boundaries. Have you been with a lot of people in the past? What kinds of things are you into? We should go out and talk about some of our interests. There’s a club in town having a bondage night next week; let’s go to that and you should wear some leather. I bet you’d look hot in it!”

If the first email that you get from someone is full of sexual innuendo or asks a lot of very personal questions about sex and your sexual preferences, that is a huge red flag.

Someone who is really interested a relationship with you would never ask those kinds of questions. Obviously, someone whose first email to you is full of graphic language is only looking for one thing. Delete those emails immediately unless that is the kind of relationship you’re looking for.
The email doesn’t have to be graphic to make you uncomfortable. Any email that asks any questions that seem overly invasive or personal to you should just be deleted.

Too Much Information
“So anyway I was just laid off from my job as a CSR and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to swing rent this month. Good thing I don’t have my kids for a few weeks because I’m not sure I’ll have anyplace for them to sleep. Ha ha! But I’d really like for us to meet, although you might have to pay for dinner because I’m pretty broke right now. If this sounds good to you write me back!”

Anyone that writes you a book length email detailing all their problems with their job, ex-spouse, kids, life in general, health problems, financial problems, or other negative things is not someone you want to date. Anyone that gives out too much personal information in their first email is someone you should avoid.

Online Dating, Is Your Online Date a Player?

2010-07-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

Now not everyone that you meet through an online dating service is going to be player, or a jerk, or someone who isn’t interested in finding a long term relationship but some of them definitely are. You need to be wary of dating a new person just like you would be if you were meeting someone to date in a more traditional way.
Wyou meet someone in a more traditional way, there will be clues that the other person is hiding something from you or that something is just not right on their end. The person might be married, might be just looking for sex, or might just have his or her own agenda and not really be interested in relationships. There are a lot of reasons that people might use an online dating service even if they are not that interested in a relationship.
It’s important to stress that you are not more likely to end up having a player answer your online dating ad than you are likely to meet one in a bar or somewhere else. Players are everywhere, and if you are not looking for a serious relationship then that might be the perfect partner for you.
But if you are looking for a serious relationship, it would be upsetting to start dating someone and start to develop feelings for that person only to find out that the person is married, emotionally unavailable, or just a jerk that isn’t really worth your time.
Usually, you don’t have to wait to find out if your online date is a player, a jerk, or has some issues. There are always clues in the person’s profile that will let you know what the person is really like. If the profile seems fine then read carefully through the email that he or she sent to you.
When you are reading the other persons words, look closely for phrases that might indicate trouble. Language that seems overly bitter, hostile or mean is a red flag that the person might have anger issues. Giving out too much personal information, like listing the medications they are taking, can also be a red flag.
Let’s look at some of the other red flags that should tell you that you need to be wary of someone when you’re trying online dating.
Even the most sophisticated player will leave clues to their intentions somewhere in their online communication. Some will be very blatant, and some will be subtle and much harder to spot.
Here are some of the most common situations you will find online that should always raise red flags in your mind.
Not everyone who sets off a red flag is going to be someone that is trying to hoodwink you, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Here are some red

Too Much Too Fast
“Wow! As soon as I saw your photo I knew you were the one for me! You are fabulous! Are you smart? You sound smart too. I bet our children will be gorgeous and smart. Won’t we make a great family? Let’s meet as soon as possible. I just know you’re the one for me!”
If you receive an email from someone in response to your online profile and the person starts talking about how he or she fell in love with your photo, or knew from the words that you wrote that you two were meant to be, or uses other language that indicates the person has a great depth of feeling for you, this is a red flag.
Using language like that is inappropriate for a first email and indicates that the person might not be completely stable. Delete the email or reply with a simple “Thank you, but I’m not interested.”
BAD LANGUAGE AND GRAMMAR
“ RU usd to dating online? I have never done it much. It seeks pretty kool so far but hu nows? U should rite back soon so we can get to now each other better”
Now everyone makes mistakes, at times, when typing and not everyone majored in English in college, but if you receive an email from someone that is full of curse words and has a lot of glaring grammar mistakes and misused words, that is a red flag.
Regardless of the person,s education level, you don’t want to be with someone who can’t express him or herself without using curse words or using words incorrectly. It says that the person isn’t going to be able to communicate well in a relationship.
Sending emails full of mistakes also says that the person either doesn’t know how to use a spell check or doesn’t care enough to use it. Either way, someone who puts little or no effort into making a good first impression isn’t someone that you would want to date.

Online Dating, Flirting Through Email

2010-07-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

As soon as you have established email communication with a person that you might want to date, it’s time to try flirting a little through email. Flirting through email can be a little tricky because it’s sometimes hard to pick up the context of words on a screen but if you practice a little you can get the hang of it.

The key to being flirtatious through email is to really let your sense of humor show through. If your email flirting is really well done, the other person will be charmed and intrigued and will want to know more about you.
Humor is attractive and lightens up the interaction. Using humor, you can deflect any potentially awkward questions and you can also show that you can laugh at yourself and are approachable.

When you add a flirtatious note to your emails, it’s important not to be overly provocative. Asking a slight offbeat question with a romantic overtone is more flirtatious than a blatant sexual innuendo.
The best online flirting is warm and personal and sincere. For example, if your potential date has mentioned in a previous email that he or she has a hidden passion for playing the guitar instead of saying that playing the guitar is an interesting hobby, say that you love it that he or she plays the guitar because the guitar is such a passionate instrument.

If you get stuck when you are trying to think of some appropriately flirtatious questions that you can ask in an email, try asking one of these questions:
• If you could take a date anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
• What is the most romantic film you’ve ever seen?
• If you could only tell your date one thing about you to make them fall for you what would it be?
• What is your perfect date?
• What activities do you like to do on dates?
• What’s the most romantic story you’ve ever heard?
So have some fun, but stay safe.

Online Dating, EMAIL ETIQUETTE-Do Keep in Mind that Your email is representing who you are.

2010-07-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Do Keep in Mind that Your email is representing who you are.

When you are writing your email you want to write in such a way that you are showing qualities like:

Warmth
A sense of humor
A strong imagination
Confidence in yourself
Goals and Aspirations
Individuality
The ability to communicate well
Creativity
Kindness and tolerance

You never want your email to make you seem like you are:

Self-centered
Close minded or judgmental
Negative about life
Immature
Manipulative
Materialistic
Shallow

So think before you press the send button.

When you are communicating through email, there are certain rules of etiquette that you should follow, especially when you want to make a good impression.
Writing a good email is important because it is usually what gives a new prospective date his or her first impression of you.
Here are some of the basic rules of email etiquette that you should follow when you are communicating by email:
• Use the same structure you would use for a letter
• Always use a spell check before you hit “send”
• Watch your grammar and punctuation
• Write in several small paragraphs instead of one large one
• Don’t request delivery and read receipts
• Keep your sentences short and to the point

Write in text and not HTML
• Don’t attach files unless the person you are emailing requested them
• Don’t keep sending emails if you don’t get a response right away
• Keep the tone of your writing warm but polite
• Don’t curse or swear
• Don’t use fancy fonts or insert pictures or animations
• Don’t use all capital letters
When you’re writing an email to someone on an online dating site, write it the same way you would write a business email. That will make a better impression than writing it the same way you would have write an email to your best friend since high school.

Online Dating, HOW TO MAKE A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION THROUGH EMAIL

2010-07-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

An important person you find interesting has answered your great personal ad online. Now it’s up to you to send a great email in response; one that will make that person really want to know more about you. How can you create a great first impression using email? Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help you write a great first email.

Don’t answer right away take some time to really craft your email to the new potential date. Have someone else read a draft of it before you send it and always use spell check before you send it. Make sure that your spelling and punctuation are correct. Just like in a resume, people look at spelling and punctuation.
Don’t make it too long as you don’t need to tell this person your entire life’s story. Write a few short paragraphs only. Reiterate key points from your profile, ask some questions for the other person to answer, and graciously end the email.

Do make it interesting and if you can’t think of anything interesting to say about yourself, why would the other person want to keep communicating with you? Mention a hobby, tell a funny anecdote, and write about something unusual you can do, whatever you do, write something that shows off how interesting and unique you are.
Do ask about the other person
Only writing about yourself is boring, and makes you look like you are self-centered. For every question that the other person asked you, ask one back. So if the other person asks where you are from in their email, write about where you are from and ask where the other person is from, or ask how long he or she lived there, or some other relevant question.

Asking questions will help you get to know the other person and will also show the other person that you are interested in hearing what they have to say.

Relationships are a two way street and it’s important to show from the beginning that you are comfortable driving on a two way street and don’t keep trying to make it a one way street where everything is about you.
Don’t make sexual references or other inappropriate comments. You don’t even know this person yet. The first email is not the time to discuss your sexual preferences, past sexual experiences, or anything related to sex.

Don’t get too personal. This is the first communication you are having with a potential date. It’s like the first conversation you have with someone in a bar or other meeting place. While you might be worried about your mortgage payment or how you are going to care for your sick mother, don’t mention that in the email. Keep your personal items to yourself until later on in the relationship.

Online Dating, Secrets To Really Sell Yourself in Your Profile,

2010-06-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

There are thousands of people that are using online dating services, so how can you really make your profile be prominent from the others? You can set yourself apart by using basic marketing techniques. After all, you are selling yourself to probable mates so use a few tried and true marketing tricks to get noticed.
Your photo is the first thing that people will notice. It’s ok if you’re not a supermodel; you don’t have to be. But if your photo is professional quality it will really stand out. You should consider having some headshots taken by a professional photographer, or even a friend who has a nice camera and can take really great photos.

Think about your profile the way you’d think about a resume. Highlight the goals that you have for a relationship so that they really stand out and write about why you are perfect for someone who shares those goals.
For example, if your goal is to get married and start a family, highlight in your profile that you have been saving for a house and that you keep yourself in great physical condition. That will tell a potential partner that you are serious about accomplishing those goals.

Don’t dwell on the negative if you start ragging on previous people you have dated. Everyone has had bad relationships but you don’t need to dwell on them or bring them up in your profile. That will send a message to potential dates that you are a negative person and dwell on the past and that you don’t have a history of healthy relationships.

Select two or three of your healthiest relationships, or the two that ended the best. Talk about how much you learned in those relationships to highlight that you are a loving, caring person capable of having a stable relationship. Mention that they ended well and if you are still friends with the other person state that too. It says a lot about you as a person if you can deal with a breakup with grace.

Online Dating, DON’T GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION TOO FAST

2010-06-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

DON’T GIVE OUT PERSONAL INFORMATION TOO FAST
I just want to go over this again as when you start emailing and chatting with someone on an online dating site, you might feel a sense of immediate connection to that person that makes you feel really comfortable sharing a lot of your feelings with that person. It’s good to share your feelings, but make sure that you don’t share too much of your personal information too soon.

When you want to start talking on the phone with this person, ask for their number and you call them first, or give them your work phone number. Don’t give out your address or even your last name until you have talked to this person on the phone and feel comfortable sharing more personal details.

Please Don’t be afraid to take it slow when it comes to communication. Wait until you feel comfortable to start talking on the phone or setting up a personal meeting with someone that you meet on an online dating site.

We all know it pays to be cautious and protect your personal information, don’t let that deter you from trying online dating. Online dating is perfectly safe when you take normal precautions to make sure that your personal information doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. And if you don't try you'll never know who out there,

Online Dating, PROTECTING YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION & BE SELECTIVE ABOUT YOUR PHOTOS

2010-06-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

PROTECTING YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION & BE SELECTIVE ABOUT YOUR PHOTOS
Discover how you can protect your personal information when you’re using an online dating site? There are some easy ways to protect yourself that don’t take a lot of effort. Just to be sure that you haven’t posted any possibly identifyin information have someone you trust read over your profile before it goes live and other people can see it.
Lets look at some other easy ways to make sure that your personal information is protected when you’re posting an online dating profile.
ABOUT YOUR PHOTOS, BE SELECTIVE
When looking through photo albums and boxes of photos trying to decide what photos are appropriate and what photos make you look your best you should also pay attention to the backgrounds in the photos.
Do not post a photo online that shows you standing in front of your home where the address is visible. Don’t post photos that show any identifying features of the yard like a piece of yard furniture, a play house, a particular configuration of trees, or anything else that might make it easy to figure out which house is yours.
Don’t post a photo of you standing in the driveway next to your car where the license plate is visible. Look at the backgrounds of your photos and make sure that there are no identifying features in the backgrounds.
If you want to use a photo that does have some kind of identifying information in it, use a photo editing program to white out the identifying information. This is the best way to keep your photos from giving someone any information that might help them figure out where you live.
Never post photos of you with your young children. It’s natural to want to show off your children, but it’s never a good idea to post photos of young children on the Internet. Save the family pictures to show over dessert after you’ve gone out a few times.
You might also want to make sure that any photos you post don’t show off a tattoo, a scar, or a birth mark that might make it easy for someone you don’t know to identify you.
BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY
Many online dating sites offer chat rooms to users or let users use a private instant messaging application to get to know others on the site. This can be a very useful, very fun way to get acquainted and to see if you want to take the next step with that person.
However, sitting at home in front of the computer, it’s easy to feel a sense of intimacy with someone who is still a stranger. You don’t really know who is on the other side of that chat screen or who is lurking in the chat room so make sure that you don’t slip and give out personal information in a chat room or during an instant message session.
Talk about your life but just don’t go into too much detail on anything personal. For example, you can talk about how much you like your job but don’t mention specifically about where you work or what sort of job you have. You can mention a favorite store where you like to shop but don’t say that you like it because it’s just a mile from your house.

Online Dating, When is PERSONAL TOO PERSONAL?

2010-06-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

When we are talking about online dating, you need to walk a fine line deciding how to what extent are you going to give your personal information in your post. You want your profile to be honest and on the other hand this information is available to anyone searching for it so you need to be careful.
On one level you might feel totally safe posting your information when you’re sitting at home in your living room you should be very careful posting any information that might give someone enough to go on to identify you in real life.
You don’t wants to think that their online dating profile could be seen by someone who is a criminal or someone who has ulterior motives in looking for a partner but the fact is that there are all kinds of people who use online dating services for all kinds of reasons.
Apart from the risk of attracting stalkers, your online personal profile might attract thieves who are searching for victims to steal their identities. Identity theft is one of the most common crimes in the country today. You need to be vigilant about protecting your personal information so that you don’t end up a victim of identity theft.
Most Internet dating sites don’t screen their applicants very thoroughly so your information could be seen by the potential love of your life but also by someone who just wants to harm you.
You can be honest about your personality and give people who are browsing your profile a sense of who you are without revealing too much identifying information if you are careful. Express your thoughts and feelings but leave out the facts.
You should also be vigilant of profiles that give away too much information. Odds are those profiles are not going to be genuine because no one would post a profile that gave away their real name, city, phone number, or other identifying information. Usually, if someone posts personal information like that in their profile they have some other reason for it as well as meeting a prospective partner.

Decoding Online Dating Lingo

2010-06-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

When you first starting out and going into chat rooms or using instant messaging you might be confused by the many abbreviations that are used in online chat. Chatters often use abbreviations because using abbreviations is faster than typing out a lot of words. There are many different abbreviations for common phrases but here are some of the most often used chat abbreviations that you will need to know:
• A/S/L – Age/Sex/Location
• ASAP - As Soon As Possible
• BBL - Be Back Later
• BRB - Be Right Back
• BTW - By the Way
• CYA - See ya
• FYI - For Your Information
• GMBO - Giggling My Butt Of
• GMTA - Great Minds Think Alike
• H&K - Hug and Kiss
• IC - I See
• KIT - Keep in Touch
• KOC/KOTC - Kiss on Cheek/Kiss on the Cheek
• L8R – Later
• LOL - Laughing Out Loud
• LTNS - Long Time No See
• OMG - Oh My God!
• PM - Private Message
• ROFL - Rolling On Floor Laug• ROFLMTO - Rolling On Floor Laughing My Tail Off
• SWAK - Sealed with a Kiss
• SYS - See You Soon
• TTFN - Ta Ta for Now
• TTYL – Talk to You Later
And yes ..........JMO/IMO - Just My Opinion/In my opinion
Those phrases will get you underway when you first embark on online chatting or instant messaging. You’ll get the hang of Netspeak pretty soon it just takes some practice to get really good at it.