Online Sex Toys UK, Vibrator Toys, Ann Summers

Private Naughty Lingerie Costume

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 09:14:00 +0000

Private Naughty includes sheer tie front cop top, boyshorts, and a matching hat.

Top Ten Sexy Costumes

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 09:11:00 +0000

As Halloween approaches, many women will be looking for the perfect sexy costume. A wide range of costumes are available for all body types and all tastes, from sassy costumes that are cute and fun without being too provocative, to bolder, more risqué costumes.

It’€™s easy to take any costume concept, add a short skirt and a revealing top, and create a sexy look for Halloween. But it takes creativity and a great design to put together a costume that’€™s as stunning and memorable as it is sexy. The best sexy costumes are fun to wear, beautiful to behold, and will make your Halloween one to remember for years to come!

Star Costumes has selected 10 sexy costumes for women that are sure to be big hits this Halloween season. From familiar classics to new favorites, these costumes arenâ€™t just popular, they also look great. Our Top 10 Sexy Costume Picks for Halloween 2010 are as follows.

Mermaid Costume – The mermaid costume is classy and elegant, usually combining a bare midriff with a long, slinky skirt. The mythological connotations with sirens of the sea only add to the appeal of this costume.

Pirate Costume – Pirates never go out of style, and couldnâ€™t care less about following the rules! A pirate costume lets your free spirit shine out–and it looks great, too.

Vampire Costume – These blood-sucking creatures of the night combine danger and daring with an unearthly beauty. Vampires have always been associated with transgression, and a sexy vampire costume is perfect for a woman who’s not afraid of her dark side.

Fairy Tale Princess Costume – Don’t give up your childhood fantasies of Happily Ever After –live them in a fairy tale princess costume! These princess costumes are all grown up and combine gorgeous fabrics and colors with a flirty short skirt and daring neckline.

Devil Costume – It doesn’t get any hotter than a sexy devil costume! Bright red, combined with devilish horns and a forked tail, create a saucy and daring look.

Bee Costume – Why has the bee become such a popular sexy costume? Probably because it combines the sweetness of honey with the risk of a sting. But who wouldnâ€™t want to risk being stung by such a beauty?

Referee Costume – This sporty costume is both pretty and tomboyish, and it’€™s a great attention-getter! Who knew that black and white stripes could look so striking?

French Maid Costume – The French Maid costume is a classic, and it’s not hard to see why. There’s a certain “je ne sais quoi” about that black uniform with white frilly lace that’s been inspiring fantasies for years. Add a feather duster to complete the effect!

Witch Costume – If you think of a witch as an old lady with green skin and warts cackling over a cauldron, think again! The witch is another classic Halloween costume that gets new sexy makeovers every year.

Bollywood Dancer Costume – We’ve looked at some of the classics, now let’s look at a relative newcomer to the sexy costume scene. Bollywood cinema has never been hotter, and this costume combines Bollywood mystique with a more familiar Halloween costume: the belly dancer. Add silky fabrics, beads and jewels, and bright, stunning color, and you’ve got a winner.

Top 10 Best Fancy Dress Outfits

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 11:07:00 +0000

Fancy dress parties are a lot of fun and certainly bring out the weird and wonderful in many! If you are considering hosting a fancy dress party then here are our top 10 favourite fancy dress themes for you to consider!

Disney – Whether its a beautiful princess or a evil monster, Disney fancy dress is a favourite for all.

Heaven and hell – Devils and angels are two great outfit choices and are simple to create. From a sexy devil to a fallen angel, you can take on whatever persona you want for the night.

Tarts and vicars/clergy – From sexy nuns, Friar Tuck, priests or Mother Superiors, a tarts and vicars party is always a barrell of laughs.

Pirate – Captain Jack Sparrow is a number one choice for men’s pirate costumes. Pirates are an easy costume and a lot of fun for kids parties. You can find many accessories for a pirate themed party if you really want to pull out all the stops.

Superheroes – Everyone at some point in their lives have wished they were a super hero, so why not be one for one night at your very own superhero party. From Superman and Supergirl to Batman and Catwoman, there are thousands of costumes online for you to choose.

Grease – Grease is a very popular theme and works well for all ages. With the T Bird jackets and the Pink Lady attire, you just can’t go wrong!

70s and 80s – Adult disco costumes are top in this category. Bold colours, Lycra leggings and white suits are fun to wear and you can top it off with a long hippy style wig and platform shoes.

Halloween – Ghosts, horror characters and devils are some of the most popular fancy dress costumes that are worn for Halloween and for regular fancy dress parties. Make sure you have plenty of fake blood, white, black and red face make up as well as fantastic Halloween treats to keep your guests entertained.

Star Wars – A top choice for adults and children is a Star Wars costume. These outfits range from the first Star Wars characters, from the films released in the 70s, right up to the later films of the noughties. This is a favourite category with children and adults.

Fairy – A favourite with little girls and great if you are hosting a charity event. Simple and easy to make and relative cheap to buy, fairy costumes are fantastic fancy dress outfits which you can double up as a Halloween costums as well!

Adrianne Palicki in WONDER WOMAN Costume

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 10:44:00 +0000

Despite looking like a cheap and sultry outfit for a sexy fancy dress costume, the below image from EW is in fact our first look at Ally McBeal creator David E. Kelley’s new t.v. show Wonder Woman, as portrayed by a round-faced (sorry), hooker-lipstick wearing Adrianne Palicki.

See it in full after the jump and be stunned at just how awful it is;

Sex toys What is a Rabbit Vibrator

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 12:44:00 +0000

The Bunnie Vibrators is a vibrating and turning sex toys that is designed with shape of some phallus and additionally features a clitoral stimulator attached to that shaft. One of the most well-known vibrators available (and for good reason) the bunny head in the included bunnie functions for a clitoral stimulator, along with the spinning together with vibrating shaft and head increase the vagina. Quite simple, people get hold of 2 bottle that pleasure, just about all in one fantastic masturbator!
How it working
Some sort of dual-action squeaky toy, bunnie ambience features pearls that are located inside base in the squeaky toy. A lot of these pearls are placed precisely to induce a vaginal orgasm. That rabbit head with bunnie vibrator go to job relating to the erogenous vicinity in the clitoris, providing you to some clitoral ejaculate. As soon as possessing the idea, keep the rabbit-shaped stimulator on the clitoris, while the shaft may be inserted in the vagina – the following delivers some sort of serious, all-around stimulation.
The majority of bunnie vibes come with a selections of two shaft turn speeds and additionally two patterns of clitoral excitement. When you feel especially frisky, come to feel free to employ both functions while doing so. Constructed to allow increased plus more serious sounds compared to a dildo, rabbit vibrator can be used with regard to by yourself happiness and also with regard to partner enjoy. People may to help you opt for a lubrication along with the rabbit vibrator to enhance ones own entertainment.
Might you get surprised that will as much a few sectors off females in the united states can not encounter a particular orgasm without clitoris therapeutic massage? It truly is true: many have an trouble gaining an orgasm through manual masturbation together with oral sexs. That’s each time a bunnie vibrator comes in useful.
That Rabbit and the G Spot
Ah, that ever-elusive Grams Identify! Some sort of many times unexplored together with underused erogenous zone, the G Spot are found somewhere around a few inches width up into the vagina, near the outer wall of the pelvic area. It is best to get to know ones own Grams Sport – it can be loaded with really sensitive neurological endings that will really enjoy a primary massage.
Your bunnie really wants to get hold of acquainted with that Grams See. Clients its tip twists and moves, rubbing the sweet see as soon as positioned the right ways. At this time there are generally perhaps even some rabbit vibrators out there that have a curved tip that allows the idea to easily manipulate the G Spot to help climax, (these are generally identified as G-Spot Rabbits).
What is it Made With?
To make sure that that they are protected to make use of on and in your body, Rabbit Vibrator are frequently produced some jelly-like product (polyvinyl chloride), silicon (semi-organic polymer), rubberized (elastic hydrocarbon polymer) and latex (natural rubber) materials. As soon as vibrators are made from silicone, it makes these straightforward to thoroughly clean and maintenance with regard to, since it isn’t porous (this means certainly no germs or foreign matter is usually immersed for it. ) As well on the plus side, silicon holds heating and has now virtually no odor. You can also get rabbit vibrators made from softtop, nasty, sheet metal, and elastomer supplies. A lot of these types usually are a smaller amount porous than jello, and non-porous at all, although that texture and consistancy is usually consistent and corporation.
Fun Rabbit Vibrator Info
* This masturbator made its to begin with look inside 1990s and gotten notoriety when making several guest appearances in HBO’s TV selection Intercourse and the City (the episode included the Vibratex’s Bunnie Pearl)
* There are across 100 varieties of bunnie vibrators, with more on the way. Significant and smallish, slim and also body fat, low-tech and high-tech, you will find there’s rabbit vibrator to fit everyone together with accommodate ones choices.

* Dual-action sex toys, enjoy the rabbit vibrator, came from The japanese, where it was eventually bootlegged to make a sex squeaky toy which was similar to genitalia. Because of this, these kind of toys have been that will glimpse enjoy ocean and wildlife pests.
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Have A Night On The Beat To Remember in Cops and Robbers Fancy Dress.

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:08:00 +0000

Loves Jessica

‘Ello ello ello, what have we here then?’ An impressive range of cops and robbers fancy dress costumes not to be missed out on, that’s what. If you were asked the question ‘Name the top five fancy dress themes you know of,’ cops and robbers would undoubtedly be one of them. The opportunity to bring to life the ultimate concept of goodies and baddies is one rarely turned down when it comes to fancy dress parties or nights out. A good old knees up is what we all need every once in a while, and Fancy Dress Shack has an array of uk police costumes and convict outfits to ensure your night out on the beat is a success. The only crime we ask you commit is to have a fantastic time in your law associated ensembles.Girls if you want to relish your sultry and seductive side then the Ladies Fever Jail Diva Costume is a must have. Complete with black and white striped dress and hat you’ll be the most glamorous convict let loose on the tiles. To enhance your spirited appeal even further why not team this ace fancy dress outfit with a pair of handcuffs. You’ll maintain a dominant air and be liable for arrest in your sexy fancy dress.

Perhaps a more original approach is your preference, so why not try dressing up in one of our US themed police costumes. The Fever Sultry Sheriff attire with holster belt and black tie will get sirens sounding and have everyone questioning what you’re really capable of as an alternate face of the law.

If you’re undecided about what to go as, you can embrace the best of both worlds. The Half Prisoner/Half Cop Costume means you can dress as both characters, and depending on whether you feel like behaving or being devilish you’ll have the choice of either. It can’t get much better than that can it?

Of course cops and robbers isn’t just a theme for girls to indulge in. The selection of UK cop fancy dress also caters for you boys who are ready to walk the beat. The Village People Motorcycle Cop Costume puts a light hearted spin on the conventional police outfit. Just make sure you’ve brushed up on your YMCA moves as they’ll be no escaping it when you arrive at the party.

The Lunatic Inmate outfit is perfect for those of you who like to live life on the wild side. Hannibal Lecter garnered a feared reputation in The Silence of the Lambs and always had a mysterious aura about him. Put in a prison suit to restrict the harm he could cause, he still had the power to manipulate who he wanted. You could also play the role of a crazed lunatic in the Fancy Dress Shacks cheap convict costumes, and keep everyone guessing about your hidden darker side.

Now let’s not forget how much the idealised look of policemen has changed over time. In the years gone by bobbies would walk the streets of London fighting crime for the good of the people. In their distinctive navy uniform with black hat and silver encrusted crest there was no mistaking they meant business when it came to non law abiding citizens. Fancy Dress Shack has a wonderful Tales of Old England London Bobbie Costume available to buy. It comes complete with jacket, trousers and belt enabling you to replicate the vintage look worn by police in the Victorian era.

Cops and robbers is renowned for being a game played by young children because there’s nothing more full filling than pretending to be goodies and baddies. The ultimate statement ‘You’re under arrest’ is an irresistible one when it comes to playing out the contrasting sides of the law. The policemen fancy dress and sexy cop costume collection here at the Shack are perfect for creating an adult themed party relating to the game we all know and love so well. The accessories on offer ranging from bowler hats to PVC shackles will add that finished effect to any outfit you choose.

Just remember you have the right to a thoroughly enjoyable fancy dress party, and whatever you do decide to wear will never be used as evidence against you!

Dirty Costumes for Clean-Minded People (Mostly!)

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:06:00 +0000

Can we tell you a secret? Naughty fancy dress costumes are some of our most popular designs! Along with all the hags, superheroes, historical figures and clowns (clowns are rarely sexy!), our ranges of sexy costumes by Leg Avenue and The Fever Collection are mightily popular with you folks!

Bad Girls vs. Good Girls

Nothing is more like nectar to a good boy than a bad girl. Better still… a good girl gone bad! Go for the classic naughty maid, sexy pirate queen, gangster’s moll or bad, bad Miss Kitty!

If its good girls you’re after, take your pick from sexy fairies, fairytale characters (sexy versions, of course!), nurses, teachers and goddesses!

Bad Boys vs. Good Boys

What is it about bad boys? Well, wherever the attraction lies you can bet our range of men’s sexy fancy dress knows just where to find it! Be a gangster, a convict, a corrupt cop, a soldier gone rogue, a pirate, a biker – whatever turns her on!

That said, there’s nothing like the hero factor! Fire-fighters, soldiers, sailors, pilots! Re-enact your favourite movie scenes over, and over, and over!

Take your pick from our fancy dress “Sexy Costumes” area between army-theme, nautical-theme, fairytale-theme, pirates, bumblebees, hippies, police officers, 80s fancy dress characters and a whole bunch more! We think it’s pretty silly to hide away the fact that everyone loves to look sexy in fancy dress! And when else can you indulge such a public passion for latex!

Sexy Essex Fancy Dress Bash

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:04:00 +0000

When it comes to television programmes we have a little secret – we’re addicted to trash TV programme “The Only Way Is Essex”! Having received some rather mixed reviews we have formed an addiction of following the escapades of the Essex reality stars. For anyone who hasn’t seen the show, it has a similar format to that of US hit show “The Hills” where cameras follow around a cast of key characters as they go about their everyday business. The format is supposed to be unscripted but we’re pretty sure that producers of the show have an input into various scenes – all for our viewing pleasure! We don’t think that we’ve ever seen so many boob jobs, hair extensions and false fingernails all in one place! Over the weekend a cousin of one of the shows stars held a fancy dress party to celebrate his birthday and the stars of the shows came out in their droves dressed to impress!
Main star of the show Amy Childs attended the glitzy bash dressed up as Jessica Rabbit in a very sleek and sexy costume. She wore a long red dress finished with long black gloves. Her red hair matched the outfit brilliantly and we must say, she certainly pulled off the Jessica Rabbit look with ease! Amy’s best mate Sam Faiers showed off her curvy figure dressed up as the iconic bond girl Honey Ryder in plain white bikini! Looks like another fantastic range of costumes at a party that was bound to be a success – more fancy dress please ladies!
If you want to do the same as the ladies then why not have a look at our fantastic range of sexy fancy dress costumes?! We’re sure you will be rather impressed with our vast selection of sexy costumes, everything from sailor outfits to schoolgirl costumes!
Ace Fancy Dress

The Top 5 Sexiest Fancy Dress For Women Costumes

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:03:00 +0000

Women like to dress sexily at Halloween, that is why sexy Fancy Dress Costumes are so popular for Women more so than for men where funny costumes are the most popular. But which are the sexiest ladies’ costumes? Read on to find out -

5) Bumblebee Costume
The Bumblebee couples together that great mixture of sexiness and cuteness making it irresistible to most men. Who would have thought that dressing up as a flying hairy insect could look so good. I wouldn’t think the cockroach costume would look quite as good.

4) Sailor Girl
As uniforms go the sailor uniform is one of sexiest for both women and men. Men love a woman in uniform and they don’t get much better than this one.

3) French Maid
Ooh La La! Who doesn’t find a French Maid costume sexy. If you want to get plenty of male attention at Halloween then you are guaranteed to do so by wearing this outfit.

2) Sexy Cop
Women have increasingly opted for increasingly authorative and powerful outfits in recent years. This combination of power and sexiness is irresistible to men.

1) Nurse
The Nursing profession has been voted by men as the most fantasised and sexiest of all female professions in the UK. It is no surprise then that the Nurse outfit is at the top of our list for sexy costumes. Men cannot help themselves when they see a woman in a Nurse costume. What is it about Nurse Outfits that is so appealing to men? Nurse Outfits conjure up in the mind an image of someone who will care for you when you are most in need. Men subconsciously want to be with a woman who will care for them when they most need it. Wear one of these Nurse costumes at Halloween and you are guaranteed to set the pulses racing of any red blooded males in your vicinity.

Types of Fancy Dress Costumes

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:01:00 +0000

Fancy dress really is a party theme which will never tire or even go out of fashion. A themed get together can add that magical wow element to any kind of celebration. Whether you’re arranging a party for your Birthday, Hen night, stag night or other celebration… fancy dress is quite a lot of fun.

Plenty of hosts simply request that their party guests come along in any kind of fancy dress costumes outfit, however the adventurous host will insist on an actual theme for instance sexy fancy dress, superhero or maybe characters beginning with a certain letter. As a guest you will have the flexibility to go as wild as your creative imagination takes you. If you’re going to a sophisticated sexy fancy dress bash don’t just think about the popular black and white maids outfit, think about the great deal of sexy fancy dress costumes that are out there. And if you are shy, don’t fear; lots of online websites possess some naughty but respectable costumes.

The age range for fancy dress parties varies, usually it’s the really young ones who like to dress up, they spend months before hand getting their parents to take them to get their costume. On a Weekend morning you can see young children hobbling across town in their animal costumes and you know they have put a pile of effort into looking their absolute best for that one day. It’s not just the little ones that enjoy a good dress up get together. More and more special birthdays including fortieth and 5oth are getting to be themed events.

You get guests who make a real effort as well as others who have grabbed whatever is in their closet from a different era. With a real wide range of fancy dress outfits readily available there is not any excuse for not being well prepared. If you have a fancy dress party invite, don’t stear clear and make an excuse not to attend. Get on the web and let your creative thinking run away with you.

Miss Summers by Ann Summers

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 12:50:00 +0000

Ann Summers have launched their new seasons collections and our pick of these is the Miss Summers collection.

Featuring a stunning, front-fastening bra and high-waisted briefs from the all new and exclusive Miss Summers lingerie collection. The bra features fine black lace over gorgeous, shimmering cerise satin, while the briefs feature tiered mesh ruffles around the hips – inspired by this season’s neo-burlesque influenced trends – with lace overlaid cerise panels and detachable suspenders. The whole sexy look is finished with flirty mesh panels and a pink satin bow centre-front.

Ann Summers – Party Wear

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 12:39:00 +0000

The email from Ann Summers last week featured their range of partywear. There are 19 pieces on line from £25 and as expected some of them are rather close to the knuckle and are obviously designed with bedroom as well as the dancefloor in mind.
There are some I really liked:
Images annsummers.com
Maxi Dress £25

Maxi Dress

Jumpsuit £45

Jumpsuit

Ciara Dress £10

Ciara Dress

I really like the maxi dress called Vanesa that was featured on the email
Vanesa £45

Vanesa Dress

If you have killer legs and are feeling brave there is a fabulous teeny tiny jumpsuit thats a rather low cowl neck (oh yes you need killer boobs too!).
Rochelle £35

Rochelle

Nanny jailed over Ann Summers boss 'poisoning'

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 12:31:00 +0000

Allison Cox, who has been jailed for 12 months

A NANNY who used screenwash in an attempt to poison the boss of the Ann Summers lingerie firm has been locked up.

Allison Cox, 33, of Badgers Way, East Grinstead, was sentenced to 12 months in prison at Guildford Crown Court on Friday for the “totally bizarre” breach of trust.

She had pleaded guilty to one count of administering a poison or other noxious substance with intent to injure, aggrieve or annoy at a previous hearing.

Cox was in charge of looking after the infant daughter of businesswoman Jacqueline Gold, the 16th richest woman in Britain, when the incident happened at her Whyteleafe mansion on October 5 last year.

The court heard Cox was seeing out her notice period after a year of working for Ms Gold when she laced two bowls of asparagus soup with the toxic chemical, before delivering them to her employer for lunch.

Prosecutor Rachel Davies said: “She instantly something in the soup and it was very strong.

“An assistant tasted the soup and immediately ran to the bathroom because it was so strong, while another employee said the only way to describe it was ‘toxic’.”

When Cox returned with Ms Gold’s daughter from a shopping trip three hours later she was confronted and eventually admitted the crime.

In an interview with police, Cox confessed to the poisoning, but claimed she had only used it to get back at another member of staff, Patricia Edwards, who she “hated” and never intended any harm to come to her employer.

An impact statement written by the victim was read to the court, with Ms Gold describing how the defendant “trusted her complicity” and gave her responsibility for “the most precious thing in her life” in the form of her daughter.

While no physical harm was caused by the screenwash, which can result in “gastro intestinal disturbances” if consumed, Ms Cox suffered “stress” and “anxiety” from the offence.

Tim Leete, mitigating, said his client was under pressure following the death of her mother and worries over her son’s health.

He said: “The defendant has always consistently stated her only intention was to make the food taste unpleasant.

“Certainly if she had realised the potential for causing serious harm to the victim she would not have resorted to using the screenwash.”

The consequences of the case would have a serious effect on Cox, the court heard, who has worked as a babysitter since the age of 16 and has been supporting her teenage son on benefits since being dismissed by Gold.

Judge Christopher Critchlow said: “This court has to take into account that you have been working as a nanny since the age of 16 and therefore you knew you were in a position of trust.

“This was a serious breach of trust as well as being totally bizarre.

“You cannot have given any thought or care to what the effect would have been on her.”

Cox, who sobbed loudly as she was taken into custody, was not ordered to pay any costs or compensation.

Surrey Police's Detective Inspector David Cooper said: “As soon as Surrey Police became aware of this poisoning we immediately launched a full and thorough investigation into the circumstances of the incident.

“Fortunately we put an end to Cox’s potentially life-endangering culinary concoctions before it had far more serious consequences.

“This is certainly the strangest case I have ever worked on and I echo Judge Christopher Critchlow’s comments regarding its 'most bizarre nature’ and how Cox grossly breached the trust placed in her."

Maximum Ecstasy With Vibrators

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 05:49:00 +0000

In case you are looking for the most ecstasy you can get, then you need to get yourself a good vibrator. This is because vibrators will give you the unique opportunity to satisfy yourself in a way no man ever could.

For starters, when you are using vibrators, you are fully in control. The implication being made here is that you know yourself better than any one ever will. Therefore, with vibrators, you can hit the G- spot as many times as you wish seeing as you have the tools at hand to do whatever you wish with your body.

This is the main reason why more and more people are coming to rely on vibrators to gratify their natural sexual needs. A woman needs some thorough loving and you do not have to beat yourself into getting a man. In fact, with a couple of bucks, you can get yourself a vibrator that will take you to places you never knew you could reach.

Vibrators also come in handy seeing as they can be used when you are with your partner. This will increase the bond between you and you partner as a result of the fact that with vibrators sex can last longer hence you will be able to connect on more levels than is normal when you do not have a vibrator at hand.

To come to a conclusion, there are different controls and degrees of vibrators. This means that you can get the exact machine that will suit you perfectly. When you have your vibrator, you will also need to lubricate it so that it give you maximum ecstasy. Personal lubricants that are water based as the best. However, if you use arousal gel before inserting the vibrator into your vagina, your clitoris will get maximum pleasure and you will be on your way to sexual paradise.

The Top 15 Worst Sex Toys Of All Time

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 05:24:00 +0000

Here it is – The Worst Sex Toys Of All Time.

We have done the hard work for you sorting out the wheat from the chuff and the chaff so you can spend your money safe in the knowledge you won’t buy one of these lemons to botch your love life – and in one or two case, hospitalize yourself too. And to start

The Dildo Gas Mask

Reminds me of something out of a Giger painting. For those that like the idea of ATM or oral but don’t like to do their own dirty work here is the very hygienic Dildo Gas Mask allowing you to keep a respectable distance from the action without wasting any energy by moving your tongue.

My Jack Moustache Glove

It’s a glove with a scary looking opening. Oh and a moustache. And a strange scary Muppet quality. In fact I’m sure my Uncle Horace used to have one as a puppet when he was a children’s entertainer for a brief spell. Don’t let kids catch you with one however; it will give them nightmares for life.

The Stuffoscope

It’s happened to us all. Playing with our partner with a sex toy and getting excited by the way their private spots smells, tastes, feel and sound. Umm. Sound? Oh yes. Because this toy is connected to a stethoscope! It can be used to stuff any orifice but not a great idea the morning after curry

Goo Gobbling Granny

This thirsty septegenarian is a blow up nan that has a taste for baby juice. it features realistic folds but we are not sure if this inflatable elder has teeth or they have been taken out before she was folded and put in the box.

Kaylani’s Foot Fetish

Most men really like vaginas. Some men really like feet. Some men like feet with vaginas. Hmm. This is a rubber foot with a vagina opening in the heel. So if feet with vaginas are your thing, this is the toy for you. If vaginas with feet inside are your thing, well that’s some thing totally different and we haven’t found a toy for you yet.

The Ballz Gag

Here is one for the teabagers out there. They say there is a fine line between genius and madness. This is so far from genius it practically in another galaxy. And even the kinkiest pain fans will find it way too small to use anyway. Get your gums around the plums and then the strap around the back of your mouth and shut up. Popular with men whose wives insist on talking bollocks when they trying to Match of the Day

Sex Bong

Oh yes, happiness is a smoke, well, a smoke that’s inserted into the vagina and then you take a hit of your poison filtered through your lovers privates. Maybe I should try it on that dodgy apple tobacco I bought back from Turkey last year….

Mouth Guard

Surprisingly designed by a dentist, I say surprisingly because it contains a disgusting tasting lube, a mouth/tongue vibe and a way too big mouth guard that stops your tongue moving. Who’s mouth did they test this on? A hippo? A dinosaur? Keith lemon?

The G Pilot

Guides the penis straight to the g spot – with about the same success as using pretty much any large kitchen utensil or road working tool. Its like hitting 180 on a dart board wearing oven gloves whilst rock climbing. Seriously, it would be easier and cheaper to use a spatula and a tub of Flora. It’s a funny shape, hard to operate with any degree of accuracy and a general pain in the arse (which is quite possible if its used when drunk).

Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Yep.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when they floated the idea past f mass producing this one. And what were the ideas they rejected before they got to the Baby Jesus – where was Mohammed and Lady Di on the list?

Fistin Mitten

For the woman that has everything. I nice big PVC oven mitt for stick up your lovers arse without running the risk of causing some tearing by snagging some jewellery on the way in. On the plus side its wipe clean and very functional.

Artificial Hymen

If you can’t afford the price of a designer vagina then here is the Tesco value version- a nice bag of blood and bits to recreate all the mess of the first time. Or alternatively trick your man into believing that he was the first. And if you don’t want sex just pretend you have a nose bleed.

Pot Noodle Sex

Ever had a pot noodle that was so good you wanted to shag it? No? Well clearly they have in Japan. Remove the foil lid, open the sachet of “gently acid lotion” and add along with your penis and pump until ready.

Auto Suck

Its a traffic jam. The radio isn’t playing anything you want to hear, your ipod has 20,000 songs and a shuffle feature none of which you want to listen two and the next little chef is hours away. So what are you going to do. Ta-da! Its the cigarette lighter powered tricky to clean Auto Suck. Designed to take frustration out of long journeys its best not to use in Milton Keynes due to the high number of roundabouts to negotiate. Not to be used in conjunction with or confused with a breathalyser.

And our winner is -

The Fucked Range

Made by Topco – and they come with a range of blood, shit and vomit lubes. Nice huh?

Now, theres a niche for everyone and if yours is using a boil and puss festooned dildo with realistic open sores, a prolapsed rectum, surgical stiches, infections and scars then this is for you.

The amputee love doll, the infected dildos and the hermaphrodite cock ad arse also form part of this delightful collection.

& An Honourable Mentions

And finally, we don’t want mans best friend feeling left out. If your pooch is an annoying leg humper or bitch botherer try them with a Hot Doll for Dogs!

Heating Up Your Relationship with Sex Toys

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 05:19:00 +0000

If you are thinking about using adult sex toys, you will come across a wide assortment of choices currently on the market. It’s your decision if you want to bring a love doll, a dildo, or a vibrator into your life. It is up to your personal preferences for this personal choice. If there is a partner who will share the adult sex toys with you, it would be beneficial to agree between the pair of you that it is alright prior to bringing them into the relationship.

Of course you could always just use them when you are on your own as well. If you wish to bring sex toys into a sexual relationship though, it is common courtesy to talk about this with your partner beforehand. It is also a good decision to wait until you are given the green light ahead of investing any money or time into the purchasing of any sex toysbuying any toys. There could be a need to fine tune the selection with the specific functions of different kinds of adult toys. If you are unable to speak with your partner about this subject, then you might just have to explore more gratification on your own.

Communication between partners is fundamentally important. Being able to discuss more intricate aspects of your sex life is a good sign that you might be prepared to increase activities in the bedroom. Introducing a sex toy into the bedroom without warning can lead to a plethora of rather unexpected results. For this reason you will want to bring up the employment of different types of sex toys including vibrators, dildos, and other pleasure providers in a casual conversation prior to going all the way. If any of these options sound too extreme for your liking, there is always the option of sexy lingerie. All couples should find considerable advantages from the use of sexy lingerie, no matter what the current situation is. And the employment of lingerie can easily lead to the preface of more pleasurable items in the bedroom. Ultimately, the choice is yours.

It is imperative to be up front in your relationship and your sex life. If you feel that using sex toys or a visit to a sex shop may add some magic to your sex life, then it could be a really good idea to bring this up during a conversation when the two of you are alone. Make certain that you approach the conversation in a manner that illustrates that sex toys can be a fun and new encounter for you both. The choices among sex toys are very great, so it’s likely that the two of you will find an option that fits your desires perfectly.

Sex Toys To Spice Up Your Dating Life

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:58:00 +0000

Trying to make your dating life or just your time alone with sex toys? Go online today and learn to know not only dildos and vibrators and toys but also on different stimulation anal, and toys that you can get for the man in your life. Go wild and free your sexual nature. Check out this information with free adult dating personals sites that can help you make the right choice.

Big toys are very versatile dating woman that every girl should have. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and even some great choices of materials to choose from. You can find a variety of materials out there jelly glass. Everything will depend on what kind of feeling you want. Patterns of gelatin are very soft and flexible. Glass on the other hand also has its rewards. It is a material that many couples sex people tend to shy away from because they are concerned that they are dangerous. However, all glass sex toys are made from medical grade Pyrex and all are hypoallergenic.

But perhaps the defining difference between the two types is that the glass can be heat or cool down depending on the mood you are in and ladies seeking men can sometime don’t have any feeling of a hot dildo slip inside you. Just remember that most dildos are fairly inexpensive, so why not buy more than one to see which one suits your fancy more. But maybe you’re the kind of woman who needs a bit ‘more stimulation in your diet adult toys.

Sex Toys To Spice Up Your Dating Life

Another great favorite with women is the vibrator. As a dildo, vibrators are available in many shapes, sizes and materials. But the main difference is that with a vibrator to your sex toy vibrates. And what makes these types of sex toys such treatment is impressive that they are very easy to use. With vibrators really do not have to do a lot of work to get to that height sex. This comes in very handy if you want to be able to experience pleasure, but they have their hands free to do so.

Also, this is why size can matter. Although it may be a useful large penis shaped vibrator for those sex dating sessions at home, you can also buy a small lipstick vibrator for moving. Imagine using the new novelty adult sitting through your hour long drive to work, or better yet, the subway or train long journey that takes every day. The possibilities are endless.

And perhaps most want to get sex toys is that you can buy online securely and privately and have them delivered to your door. This gives you the freedom to get what they want and not worry about the embarrassment of going to a toy store. So jump online to learn more about different types of sex toys for women.

Sexy Fancy Dress Costumes

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:15:00 +0000

Check out Sparkling Strawberry’s extensive range of sexy costumes and sexy fancy dress outfits to buy online from their UK store. They have thousands of ladies dressing up costumes in stock for you to choose from and with next day delivery available within the UK (Monday to Saturday) you needn’t wait long to get your sexy fancy dress costume. Whatever the occasion or time of year you can always find some excuse to wear a sexy costume, whether for a fancy dress party or a themed night out or hen night. We have loads of ladies costumes to choose from for hen night fancy dress parties. For the ultimate in sexy fancy dress see our uniform selections. We have everything from the traditional sexy outfits like schoolgirl costumes and naughty nurses’ outfits to French maid fancy dress costumes and sexy costumes like the air hostess dresses and bunny girl outfits. Our range of fairytale and storybook costumes includes some really cute and sexy costumes as well as many not so sexy fancy dress costumes that you could safely wear to your Grandma’s birthday party. Whatever fancy dress theme you’re looking for we have so many sexy outfits and sexy costumes to choose from you’re sure to have fun browsing through our collection so go on, happy shopping.

What to wear at a Fancy Dress Party

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 05:49:00 +0000

Fancy dress is really a party theme that might never ever tire or go out of fashion. A themed bash can add that unique wow aspect to virtually any celebration. Regardless if you are planning a celebration for your Birthday, Hen night, stag night or other occasion… fancy dress is a whole lot of fun.

Many hosts simply ask that their party guests come along in any kind of fancy dress outfit, however the adventurous host will insist on an actual theme like ann summers sexy fancy dress, super hero and even heroes beginning with a particular letter. As a guest you will have the flexibility to go as crazy as your creative thinking takes you. If you’re going to a classy sexy fancy dress get together don’t just think about the regular white and black maids costume, glance at the number of sexy fancy dress costumes that exist. And in case you are shy, don’t worry; several online websites possess some naughty but respectable outfits.

The age range for fancy dress parties varies, typically it’s the really young ones who enjoy dress up, they devote months beforehand getting their parents to take them to acquire their outfit. On a Weekend morning you get small children hobbling across town in their animal costumes and you know they have put tons of hard work into looking their best for that one day. It’s not just the little ones that really like a good dress up party. More and more special birthdays which include 40th and 5oth are becoming themed events.

You get guests whom make a real effort while others that have grabbed whatever is in their current wardrobe from a different era. With a real wide range of outfits on the market there is not any excuse for not being prepared. If you receive a fancy dress party invite, don’t stear clear and make an excuse not to attend. Get on the internet and let your creativity run away with you.

Sexy Sailors Uniform

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 12:22:00 +0000

Say “oi oi Captain” in this gorgeous strapless 1940’s inspired a line mini dress. Comes complete with matching hat. Stretch fabric and moulded cups ensure a great fit whilst giving support to the bust.

Ann Summers Miss Drive You Wild

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 04:56:00 +0000

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Ann Summers Miss Arrest Policewoman Sexy Fancy Costume

noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:19:00 +0000

Let the silly naval innuendoes ensue (think ‘all aboard’, ‘shiver me timbers’ and various ‘poop deck’ jokes), with this extremely sexy and flirtatious fancy Sailor sexy Outfit. Whether you have a night out planned, or a fancy dress party, or simply some innocent sexy erotic role play at home, this aquatic outfit is a must-have.

Try This Sexy Bold Ann Summers Miss Arrest Policewoman Costume

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noreply@blogger.com (Lovesjessica) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 05:26:00 +0000

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