http://www.ooph.com/ Get the latest blog posts from Ooph - Because sometimes life takes your breath away en-us Sun, 27 May 2012 17:10:01 -0400 Copyright: (C) Stefanie Mullen 15   In preparation for your summer contract, which I HIGHLY recommend everyone do, use these questions to begin the conversation. Make sure you sign up for the Ooph Newsletter on the right there. Next week I will be sending out a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/732/table-talk-summer-contract-preparation http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/732/table-talk-summer-contract-preparation Mon, 21 May 2012 14:30:45 -0400 Table Talk A Review of Finding Kind The premise of Finding Kind is pretty straightforward and frankly upsetting. It is simply that women and girls are particularly nasty and mean to each other, and that in this widely accepted “girl culture” dishing out,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/729/finding-kind-are-girls-really-meaner http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/729/finding-kind-are-girls-really-meaner Tue, 15 May 2012 11:51:07 -0400 Pop Culture I still struggle with my decision to let Ashlyn be manager of the girls’ high school soccer team. I pick her up every afternoon from practice, holding my breath a bit, hoping that practice went well and that the girls were[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/727/teens-and-autism-a-story-of-kindness http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/727/teens-and-autism-a-story-of-kindness Wed, 09 May 2012 11:06:00 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior   I have three boys. My oldest, 16, doesn’t play football. My middle son, 15, does. My six year old son is still too young.  I am a football loving freak. My first blog, a very unsuccessful one, was titled, www.thesportgirl.com and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/725/is-football-too-dangerous-for-our-boys http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/725/is-football-too-dangerous-for-our-boys Mon, 07 May 2012 12:43:27 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior Is It Tween Angst or Depression? I've been depressed enough times during my lifetime that I can recognize the signs. I know when it's coming on: the hopelessness, the sadness, the craving for ice cream, and the fact that all I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/723/being-a-tween-or-something-more http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/723/being-a-tween-or-something-more Thu, 03 May 2012 12:01:02 -0400 Can You Relate? Doctor G, why should I give my daughter the HPV vaccine? I’ve read a lot about this and it seems like, if I do my job as a parent and teach her to wait for sexual intimacy and how to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/720/hpv-vaccination-should-you http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/720/hpv-vaccination-should-you Tue, 01 May 2012 11:51:36 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior We began educating my daughter's classmates on her autism in grade school. Now a high school sophomore, the education and knowledge has grown into a support system that gets her through each day. She has people to sit with at lunch,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/718/perfectly-impaired http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/718/perfectly-impaired Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:45:21 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior 10 Great Things About Having A Teen With Autism I have been around a few typical teenagers lately and have to say that I think there just might be a few things that could be considered perks to having a teen[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/715/10-great-things-about-having-a-teen-with-autism http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/715/10-great-things-about-having-a-teen-with-autism Tue, 10 Apr 2012 11:03:21 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior I am forever trying to find new books for my tweens and teens. "Just surprise me merm," they say. (Yes, they call me merm. No, I don't know why.) Then I surprise them. "Merm, this book is lame." Or? "Merm, you already bought[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/711/book-list-for-tweens-teens http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/711/book-list-for-tweens-teens Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:02:46 -0400 Pop Culture Are Teens Mature Enough to Handle Social Media According to Mashable, a high school senior from Indiana was expelled for tweeting something the school found inappropriate. I’m with the school on the tweets’ inappropriateness. Frankly, if one of my kids had[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/703/should-a-student-be-expelled-for-his-tweets http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/703/should-a-student-be-expelled-for-his-tweets Wed, 28 Mar 2012 02:21:59 -0400 Technology Kratom: The New Legal Drug of Choice for Teens There’s a new drug in town and teens all over the country are trying it out. Why wouldn’t they? It isn’t illegal. If it isn’t illegal, for sure it must be safe.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/701/kratom-the-new-legal-high-for-teens http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/701/kratom-the-new-legal-high-for-teens Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:57:42 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll Get Your Kids Talking Over Dinner Tonight We all know that family dinners are important. It's not the eating that makes the difference. It's the talking. Use these questions to get your kids talking over dinner tonight.  1. What is one quality[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/699/me-myself-others http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/699/me-myself-others Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:25:58 -0400 Table Talk Thank You Cheat Sheet for Tweens & Teens Upon receipt of a gift, your tweens and teens need to write a handwritten Thank You Card to express their gratitude. With the big birthdays (13, 16 and 18) and graduation coming their[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/696/sample-thank-you-wording-for-your-tweens-and-teens http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/696/sample-thank-you-wording-for-your-tweens-and-teens Tue, 20 Mar 2012 15:47:21 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior   When I was 17 I left home and went away to another State to attend college. I was so excited by the chance to actually live away from home, away from my parents watchful eyes. Away from the rules and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/694/the-rules-when-your-college-student-is-at-home http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/694/the-rules-when-your-college-student-is-at-home Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:43:07 -0400 Can You Relate? Get Your Kids Talking Over Dinner Tonight We all know that family dinners are important. It's not the eating that makes the difference. It's the talking. Use these questions to get your kids talking over dinner tonight.  1. When you meet another[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/692/table-talk-manners http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/692/table-talk-manners Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:55:12 -0400 Table Talk I struggled with putting the lyrics to this song on my site. Words like horrifying, disgusting, classless and degrading come to mind. But after hearing it on all the major radio stations, bleeped out of course, I decided that it[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/690/songversation-rack-city-by-tyga-rated-r http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/690/songversation-rack-city-by-tyga-rated-r Tue, 13 Mar 2012 12:38:42 -0400 Songversation If you are planning to leave your children alone at home for the first time you should read these 10 things to know first. Ease your child in to their first at home alone experience. A quick run to the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/688/10-rules-for-leaving-your-child-home-alone http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/688/10-rules-for-leaving-your-child-home-alone Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:36:59 -0500 Ooph Lists Spring is almost upon us… and we know what that means. BASEBALL! Some of us love it, some of our rear ends hurt just thinking about it.  I admit I would be on the later side of that.  But while my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/686/let-them-eat-sunflower-seeds http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/686/let-them-eat-sunflower-seeds Thu, 08 Mar 2012 10:09:17 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Today is Bloggy Boot Camp Day. Bootcamp was the first conference I ever attended and it is still my favorite. It is intimate, designed to meet and mingle with other bloggers and filled with valuable information. You will fill pages[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/685/bloggy-boot-camp-tips-for-a-first-timer http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/685/bloggy-boot-camp-tips-for-a-first-timer Wed, 07 Mar 2012 10:28:11 -0500 Stefanie Says I took my oldest son out for his very first driving lesson. I couldn't unleash him on a driving instructor without at least a little bit of instruction. That wisdom? Stupid. His driving instructor owes me. Big. Time. I will[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/683/your-childs-first-driving-lesson-good-luck http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/683/your-childs-first-driving-lesson-good-luck Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:25:24 -0500 OMG Driving We Must Discuss School Shootings with our Tweens and Teens If we can’t get kids to stop bullying because it’s the right thing to do (which we clearly can’t, because I am still being emailed daily, called daily and reading horrifying[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/681/bullying-kills-tell-your-kids http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/681/bullying-kills-tell-your-kids Mon, 05 Mar 2012 10:58:13 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior An updated version of the cliches your parents used to say. They won't make you cool, but at least they make you slightly more current.  1. If all of your friends jumped off a cliff would you? If all your friends text[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/679/10-old-cliches-with-a-modern-twist http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/679/10-old-cliches-with-a-modern-twist Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:24:35 -0500 Pop Culture In Songversation I take a song that your teens and tweens are listening to. I will share the lyrics of the song with you and offer you a conversation that you might have with your son or daughter. Hence: Songversation. Truth[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/677/songversation-young-wild-and-free http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/677/songversation-young-wild-and-free Thu, 01 Mar 2012 00:48:55 -0500 Songversation   You know how when you have a teenager you spend most of your days wishing they had a few moments for you? I spend most of my days wishing the opposite. Not that I don’t cherish the time I get to spend[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/675/perfectly-impaired-pair-your-child-with-a-special-needs-child http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/675/perfectly-impaired-pair-your-child-with-a-special-needs-child Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:28:59 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior We all know that family dinners are important. It's not the eating that makes the difference. It's the talking. Use these questions to get your kids talking over dinner tonight.  1. When you grow up would you want to be a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/673/table-talk-the-oscars http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/673/table-talk-the-oscars Mon, 27 Feb 2012 01:05:37 -0500 Table Talk I recently spent a weekend traveling with a 15-year-old girl. What an eye-opener that was. I had forgotten how much toddlers and teenagers have in common. Short attention spans. Easily bored. Demanding. Egocentric. Prone to fits.  The difference, of course, is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/671/treat-your-teenager-like-a-toddler-for-best-results http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/671/treat-your-teenager-like-a-toddler-for-best-results Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:40:57 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Look. Every parent knows it sucks to talk to your kids about sex, but one way or another it needs to be done, otherwise they end up learning about it on the school bus. And who wants that? Different aged kids[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/668/flipping-the-birds-and-the-bees http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/668/flipping-the-birds-and-the-bees Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:34:35 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Internet danger is one of those things that we see on TV and read in the paper and never believe it could touch us so close to home. It happens to other people, other girls, children who don't have involved,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/665/when-internet-danger-hits-close-to-home http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/665/when-internet-danger-hits-close-to-home Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:01:58 -0500 Technology Must Dos for Parents of Tweens and Teens 1. Have the passwords to your kids social media platforms and emails. Use them to do periodic checks. Sexting, bullying and all sorts of other frightening things take place behind the curtain. Make[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/664/10-things-parents-who-parent-do http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/664/10-things-parents-who-parent-do Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:17:04 -0500 Ooph Lists Years ago, when Keenan was nine, he was still playing baseball.  He had practice twice a week and one or two games.  At least two times a week he would forget his glove.  Not an enormous problem for a right[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/662/why-do-boys-forget-their-gear http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/662/why-do-boys-forget-their-gear Thu, 16 Feb 2012 11:09:35 -0500 Can You Relate?   Concussions are on the Rise Over the past five to ten years, concussion awareness has soared.  From Troy Aikman in the NFL to Johnny on the lacrosse team, there is much more awareness than there was in the past.   When I was[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/660/is-it-a-concussion-what-to-know http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/660/is-it-a-concussion-what-to-know Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:35:38 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior How One Dad Taught His Daughter A Valuable Internet Lesson Yesterday I came across the video below on the fabulously Rated R site Pajamas and Coffee. Please take the time to watch it before you read this post. It’s a bit[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/658/using-facebook-to-rant http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/658/using-facebook-to-rant Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:23:05 -0500 Technology 10 Great Questions to Ask Your Kids What is one thing about our family that makes us special? What is your favorite word right now? Why? If you could give one breed of animal the ability to talk, which one would it be? Which[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/656/table-talk-wishes-adulthood-and-roller-coasters http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/656/table-talk-wishes-adulthood-and-roller-coasters Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:01:26 -0500 Table Talk There are some key things your sons should know before they leave home. Here are my top 15.    1. The kitchen? Not just for girls. Learn to use a stove. 2. If a girl tries to change you she doesn’t really love[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/653/15-things-boys-should-know-before-they-turn-18 http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/653/15-things-boys-should-know-before-they-turn-18 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:31:47 -0500 Ooph Lists There are many things on Ooph that I have been proud of over the years, but nothing more than this project. Autism affects 1 in 110 children and 1 in 70 boys. These children will grow up. They will become[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/650/teens-with-autism http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/650/teens-with-autism Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:23:18 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior   Girls are reaching puberty way too young these days. There I said it. It’s one of those things that is whispered in the shadows and still has such a stigma attached to it that most parents are in denial that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/648/puberty-when-it-happens-too-young http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/648/puberty-when-it-happens-too-young Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:43:15 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Should We Give Trophies for Participation? The number of trophies in our house makes the late Michael Jackson’s award room seem paltry. My kids? Trophy. Winners. Oh that Ooph, she is a nauseating bragger? No. Nauseated? Yes. Less than one percent[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/457/want-a-trophy-theyre-free http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/457/want-a-trophy-theyre-free Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:28:00 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior There a few key things every girl should know before she departs your home. Here are my top 15.  1. Scissors are to be used for opening bags of chips, not for your hair. Especially NOT your bangs. EVER. 2. Never use[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/646/15-things-girls-should-know-before-they-turn-18 http://www.ooph.com/topics/ooph-lists/646/15-things-girls-should-know-before-they-turn-18 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:39:03 -0500 Ooph Lists When I was on high school, basketball was the first sport I played.  Actually, I started in 6th grade.  It’s kind of my baby, you know, the first sport I was proficient in.  So when I became an athletic trainer[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/641/how-to-prevent-low-back-pain-in-athletes http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/641/how-to-prevent-low-back-pain-in-athletes Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:19:43 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Post by Carolyn West When I was 12 the most important thing on my mind was how I was going to afford to buy a skateboard. They were just getting big back then and skateboarding was something done in your driveway,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/634/oh-no-my-12-year-old-has-a-cell-phone http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/634/oh-no-my-12-year-old-has-a-cell-phone Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:24:33 -0500 Technology Get Your Kids Talking with these Simple & Fun Questions: Would you rather be really funny and everyone loved hanging out with you but you have to work really hard on your homework and study a lot to get good grades[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/632/table-talk-movies-books-and-sports http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/632/table-talk-movies-books-and-sports Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:52:20 -0500 Table Talk   by Jenna McCarthy I always wanted to have girls. Well, that’s not exactly true because for a long while there I didn’t really want kids at all. But once I decided to throw caution—and birth control—to the wind and discovered first-hand[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/629/girl-talk-living-with-the-j-squad http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/629/girl-talk-living-with-the-j-squad Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:44:30 -0500 Can You Relate? There are some changes around here on Ooph. You might have noticed a drastic difference in the design. I hope you approve. My goal was to create a site that answers the questions you in the interworld have asked via[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/627/a-new-ooph http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/627/a-new-ooph Tue, 24 Jan 2012 02:24:34 -0500 Stefanie Says Several years ago in the UK a fast food company ran a series of commercials about changing your name to match the license plate on your car. They promoted it as a cost saving measure and then related it to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/625/naming-our-kids-in-the-internet-age http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/625/naming-our-kids-in-the-internet-age Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:35:56 -0500 Technology Get Your Kids Talking with these Simple & Fun Questions: What goal do you think we, your parents, (me, your parent) should have this year? If you could accomplish any one thing this year, what would it be?  If you could be any[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/621/table-talk-new-year-style http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/621/table-talk-new-year-style Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:37:03 -0500 Table Talk   I have been parenting for over 16 years. Raising kids who eat a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables is insanely important to me. My older boys are incredible eaters. My 16 year old loves all vegetables. Broccoli, Brussels sprouts,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/610/dont-judge-healthy-eating-isnt-as-easy-as-you-think http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/610/dont-judge-healthy-eating-isnt-as-easy-as-you-think Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:50:12 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior Those of you who read my site know that I am a BIG FAN of the Bill My Parents Card. We have been using it for over five months and it has been fabulous. If you don’t believe me, you[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/finances-charity/608/a-bill-my-parents-card-is-the-perfect-stocking-stuffer http://www.ooph.com/topics/finances-charity/608/a-bill-my-parents-card-is-the-perfect-stocking-stuffer Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:49:41 -0500 Finances & Charity Whether you are a football fan or just a follower of the news it is unlikely you don’t know the name Tim Tebow and you don’t know that he is devout in his religious beliefs. He prays consistently throughout every[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/604/tim-tebow-a-good-example-or-a-turnoff http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/604/tim-tebow-a-good-example-or-a-turnoff Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:27:14 -0500 Stefanie Says Which President does your kid love the most? What would their Candy Shop be named? Those and other questions this week to get your kids talking over dinner. The more they talk about nothingness, the more they will talk later[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/600/table-talk-presidents-flying-and-candy-shops http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/600/table-talk-presidents-flying-and-candy-shops Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:06:38 -0500 Table Talk Last night at dinner I asked Colt question number seven from this week's Table Talk. There was no doubt in my mind his answer would be Beary, the little bear he carries around, sleeps with, takes to movies because the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/599/the-heck-you-say http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/599/the-heck-you-say Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:05:02 -0500 Ranted I was so excited when I was pregnant with my first born. From picking out the name, creating the most ridiculous nursery a child could ask for, folding all the over-priced-soft-as-a-baby’s-bum blankets to designing the perfect labor, I did it[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/598/how-many-people-did-you-allow-in-the-delivery-room http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/598/how-many-people-did-you-allow-in-the-delivery-room Thu, 10 Nov 2011 15:59:24 -0500 Stefanie Says We have had an xbox for years. Call of Duty has been a staple in our home for my teens. I don’t love it, but I also don’t forbid it. Does it make my boys violent? No. They are the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/597/violent-video-games-make-my-boys-better-people http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/597/violent-video-games-make-my-boys-better-people Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:19:00 -0500 Pop Culture This week's dinner time discussion questions are loaded with fun. Enjoy getting to know your kids better. 1. If you could plan our next family vacation where would we go and what would we do? 2. Have you ever gotten in trouble[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/596/table-talk-vacations-animals-and-holidays http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/596/table-talk-vacations-animals-and-holidays Tue, 08 Nov 2011 12:16:54 -0500 Table Talk I have always thought sleepovers were a right of childhood passage. What could be more fun than ditching your dorky parents for your besties’ cool ones? Snuggling into bed at night with a friend next to you and staying up[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/594/to-sleepover-or-not-to-sleepover http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/594/to-sleepover-or-not-to-sleepover Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:33:42 -0400 Stefanie Says How many times a week do you sit together as a family for dinner? We all know that family dinners are one of the most beneficial ways to maintain an open and communicative relationship with our children. Right? Did you also[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/593/table-talk-letters-south-pole-and-humor http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/593/table-talk-letters-south-pole-and-humor Mon, 31 Oct 2011 11:41:52 -0400 Table Talk According to a study by Common Sense Media, a San Francisco non-profit group, 42% of children under eight years old have a TV in their bedrooms; 30% of zero to one year-olds, 44% of two to four year-olds, and 47%[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/592/is-there-a-tv-in-your-childs-bedroom http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/592/is-there-a-tv-in-your-childs-bedroom Fri, 28 Oct 2011 01:59:02 -0400 Stefanie Says How many times a week do you sit together as a family for dinner? We all know that family dinners are one of the most beneficial ways to maintain an open and communicative relationship with our children. Right? Did you also[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/591/table-talk-relaxation-vacations-and-special-powers http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/591/table-talk-relaxation-vacations-and-special-powers Tue, 25 Oct 2011 12:37:56 -0400 Table Talk Years and years...and years ago when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby I couldn’t wait to find out what my loins spawned. Would I be buying pink frilly curtains with ballerinas posing in the five basic[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/589/boy-or-girl-should-you-find-out http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/589/boy-or-girl-should-you-find-out Mon, 10 Oct 2011 11:37:19 -0400 Stefanie Says 1. He changed the way they learn. The home computer began the process that would someday become the internet which offers them the ability to study without ever leaving their kitchen counter or bedroom desk. They will never again have[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/588/ten-ways-steve-jobs-impacted-our-children http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/588/ten-ways-steve-jobs-impacted-our-children Thu, 06 Oct 2011 02:02:43 -0400 Stefanie Says Colton sat at his little table and worked hard with a marker and paper yesterday. I asked what he was doing and he said he couldn't tell me. After about twenty minutes he walked over and handed me this and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/587/a-letter-to-his-papa http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/587/a-letter-to-his-papa Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:58:54 -0400 Ranted How many times a week do you sit together as a family for dinner? We all know that family dinners are one of the most beneficial ways to maintain an open and communicative relationship with our children. Right? Did you also[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/586/table-talk-self-esteem http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/586/table-talk-self-esteem Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:28:05 -0400 Table Talk If I had a category on this site titled, “Pick Your Battles,” that is where I would file this post.  Schweddy Balls is a new flavor introduced by Ben & Jerry’s and the conservative group, One Million Moms, wants it banned. “The[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/585/no-one-can-resist-schweddy-balls http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/585/no-one-can-resist-schweddy-balls Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:06:37 -0400 Pop Culture   Colt and I decided over the weekend that we would have a small Halloween Party this year for ten of his friends. Today when I picked him up from school he said, “Let’s send the invitations out today, because it[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/584/somehow-they-always-win http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/584/somehow-they-always-win Mon, 19 Sep 2011 23:30:19 -0400 Ranted This week I offer a combo. A Table Talk prompt and additional questions on the same topic. Dreams.  The other day Colt was telling me about a dream he had that scared him right into our bed. At first I was[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/583/table-talk-its-all-dreamy-up-in-here http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/583/table-talk-its-all-dreamy-up-in-here Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:51:02 -0400 Table Talk Colton started kindergarten three weeks ago at the same time Noah became a freshman and Keenan became a junior. I was too busy crying in my wine glass about the fact that my babies were going to be leaving me[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/582/turning-the-uncomfortable-into-a-fun-game http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/582/turning-the-uncomfortable-into-a-fun-game Thu, 15 Sep 2011 10:34:07 -0400 Ranted This is one of the most valuable tools I have found as the parent of a cell phone wielding kid. We have a "no phones after 10:00 p.m. rule" in our house. Which is why my husband goes to bed at[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/581/verizon-made-me-smarter-than-my-teen http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/581/verizon-made-me-smarter-than-my-teen Wed, 14 Sep 2011 03:00:24 -0400 Technology   How many times a week do you sit together as a family for dinner? We all know that family dinners are one of the most beneficial ways to maintain an open and communicative relationship with our children. Right? Did you also[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/580/table-talk-teachers-candy-and-crappy-jobs http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/580/table-talk-teachers-candy-and-crappy-jobs Mon, 12 Sep 2011 00:29:00 -0400 Table Talk For those of you who don't watch or enjoy football stay with it. This isn't about football. This is about the way coaches treat our boys. Dear Mr. Kelly This weekend I watched as your boys dressed proudly in the Notre Dame[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/579/an-open-letter-to-brian-kelly-notre-dames-football-coach http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/579/an-open-letter-to-brian-kelly-notre-dames-football-coach Thu, 08 Sep 2011 02:20:12 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior How many times a week do you sit together as a family for dinner? We all know that family dinners are one of the most beneficial ways to maintain an open and communicative relationship with our children. Right? Did you also[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/578/table-talk http://www.ooph.com/topics/table-talk/578/table-talk Mon, 05 Sep 2011 23:20:38 -0400 Table Talk Colt and I played Hangman yesterday. I lost on the above word, because you know, I apparently suck. Or? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE? I am willing to pay the first reader on this site that can correctly[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/577/hangman http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/577/hangman Sun, 28 Aug 2011 22:45:06 -0400 Ranted Once a week I take a song that your teens and tweens are listening to. I will share the lyrics of the song with you and offer you a conversation that you might have with your son or daughter. Hence:[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/576/songversation-pumped-up-kicks-by-foster-the-people http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/576/songversation-pumped-up-kicks-by-foster-the-people Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:32:44 -0400 Songversation Not. So. Much. Here is the thing. I used to OWN my car. I used to not have piles of trash in it that were so disgusting not even the rats wanted to enter. I used to not have goldfish[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/575/my-kids-my-car-my-music http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/575/my-kids-my-car-my-music Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:57:28 -0400 Can You Relate? Is your child at the age where they are asking and you are considering allowing them to have a Facebook account? Does the idea give you hives? It should. I am years into the Facebook game and it is still[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/574/is-your-child-ready-for-facebook http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/574/is-your-child-ready-for-facebook Mon, 22 Aug 2011 12:45:14 -0400 Technology This week I am launching a new column on Ooph titled, Songversation. Once a week I will take a song that your teens and tweens are listening to. I will share the lyrics of the song with you and offer[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/573/songversation-lmfao-yes http://www.ooph.com/topics/songversation/573/songversation-lmfao-yes Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:05:20 -0400 Songversation Last weekend I attended the BlogHer conference in San Diego. And by weekend I mean I milked that crap for everything I could get out of it and hit the road on Wednesday and didn't return until Sunday. I did,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/finances-charity/572/bill-my-parents-or-our-kids-cant-make-our-mistakes http://www.ooph.com/topics/finances-charity/572/bill-my-parents-or-our-kids-cant-make-our-mistakes Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:59:32 -0400 Finances & Charity Last night, having put a tantrum throwing toddler out of my mind with a stiff glass of wine and a CSI rerun (because nothing makes you forget an embarrassing grocery store moment like a dead hooker) I dozed off to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/416/revenge-or-there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-clean-turd http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/416/revenge-or-there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-clean-turd Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:25:00 -0400 Can You Relate? I was walking a friend through the process of setting up a Facebook account and had just said, “The most important thing to know is that everything you post on your wall or anyone else’s can be viewed by everyone,”[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/367/horny-isnt-just-for-toads http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/367/horny-isnt-just-for-toads Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:24:00 -0400 Can You Relate? I do this thing where I diagnose myself with a disease about, oh, EVERY TEN MINUTES.  If I feel the slightest amount of pain in my head, I go straight to visions of me in the hospital and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/366/diagnosis-diarrhea http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/366/diagnosis-diarrhea Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:10:57 -0400 Can You Relate? I have thought of you often and what you might look and act like. I have done the numbers and while I am no mathematician I realize there will be three of you. That is bad news for me.  You[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/287/a-letter-to-my-future-daughters-in-law http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/287/a-letter-to-my-future-daughters-in-law Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:09:00 -0400 Stefanie Says My grandfather was an avid hunter. He would pack up his guns and travel the world to find helpless creatures in need of a bullet to the head. As if it shooting them wasn’t bad enough, he would[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/376/the-dead-zone http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/376/the-dead-zone Tue, 02 Aug 2011 07:07:21 -0400 Stefanie Says Last Thursday, after three weeks of watching Keenan look at his hair in the mirror all the way to school and complain NON STOP about how it sucked, I took him to get it cut. I scheduled an appointment with[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/369/be-your-own-man http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/369/be-your-own-man Tue, 02 Aug 2011 06:25:35 -0400 Can You Relate? As the story of my life unfolds it has become abundantly clear that thirty percent of it will be spent sleeping, twenty percent at the grocery store, ten percent drinking, eight percent eating, and fifteen percent in a phone store[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/400/the-silencethe-beautiful-wonderful-silence http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/400/the-silencethe-beautiful-wonderful-silence Tue, 02 Aug 2011 06:23:08 -0400 Can You Relate? Yesterday I was in the pediatrician’s office.  AGAIN.  Though Noah’s fever finally broke on Wednesday, he suddenly developed a rash from head to toe which caused all my panic buttons to start ringing and my wheel to start[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/374/martinis-and-periods http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/374/martinis-and-periods Tue, 02 Aug 2011 06:13:46 -0400 Stefanie Says This gorgeous photo was taken by my dad while he was in town a couple of weeks ago. This little guy has been hanging around our backyard for a while. How sweet is he? Until he eats your kitten of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/571/well-hello-baby http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/571/well-hello-baby Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:41:13 -0400 Ranted Because these days with all of my focus being on SDMOMfia I have no time to actually write, I am posting photos. We recently were blessed to find ourselves on the beach for a week. Our family vacation this summer.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/570/lazy-days-of-summer http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/570/lazy-days-of-summer Wed, 27 Jul 2011 00:29:30 -0400 Ranted [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/569/summer-in-san-diego http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/569/summer-in-san-diego Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:41:41 -0400 Ranted Recently, after months of, “Can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can I have a fish, can[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/568/fish-a-lesson-in-death http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/568/fish-a-lesson-in-death Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:29:10 -0400 Ranted A mayor walks into his town. Nike says: “Why the long face?” The long face is because Mayor Tom Menino walked past a Nike store in his town of Boston recently to see the Nike logo “Just do it” in giant letters[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/567/nike-should-be-ashamed http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/567/nike-should-be-ashamed Mon, 27 Jun 2011 14:57:11 -0400 Stefanie Says [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/565/ooph-weekly-wrap-up-indiana-style http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/565/ooph-weekly-wrap-up-indiana-style Fri, 17 Jun 2011 11:21:12 -0400 Ranted I have been working on our school’s 8th grade graduation video for the last several weeks. It included video that I took at the school of the kids answering various questions, which was very enlightening into the personalities of each[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/564/thats-not-an-actual-location http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/564/thats-not-an-actual-location Tue, 14 Jun 2011 22:40:31 -0400 Ranted Any chance you can guess where my husband took Colton shopping for my Mother's Day gifts?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/563/where-does-your-husband-shop http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/563/where-does-your-husband-shop Mon, 13 Jun 2011 13:00:10 -0400 Ranted These are the photos that catch your breathe in your throat and give you pause to appreciate all that you have. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/562/father-and-son http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/562/father-and-son Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:35:50 -0400 Ranted Yesterday while running my errands I received this text from J Just ate the Mexican salad with jalepeno in the fridge, then rubbed my eye and had jalepeno juice on my hand. Pretty sure pepper doesn't have anything on jalepeno juice. I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/561/a-better-wife-would-clean-out-the-fridge http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/561/a-better-wife-would-clean-out-the-fridge Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:55:50 -0400 Ranted Scene: Colton and his friend chatting in the back seat of an SUV on a sunny San Diego day. Samantha: You know that when you get into kindergarten you will have homework.Colton: I know.Samantha: Lots of homework.Colton: *rolls his eyes*[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/560/mark-zuckerberg-screws-everything-up http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/560/mark-zuckerberg-screws-everything-up Tue, 17 May 2011 13:47:40 -0400 Stefanie Says I have no idea who to credit for this. My dad emailed it to me and I was laughing so hard at Starbucks people were staring at me. Happy Mother's Day to all of you fabulous moms who read Ooph.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/559/happy-mothers-day http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/559/happy-mothers-day Thu, 05 May 2011 13:57:03 -0400 Ranted I am an enormous Google fan. Sure they are intelligent and their technology has changed the world. I wish I could have ONE of their ideas. Just one.  But? That isn’t why I love them.  This? This is why I love them.    For[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/558/it-gets-better http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/558/it-gets-better Thu, 05 May 2011 00:20:40 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior As you all know by now, our government has put forth an action that has killed Osama bin Laden. Our country now has possession of the body of a man that stole thousands of lives. He took mothers and fathers[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/557/osama-bin-laden-killed-by-us-forces http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/557/osama-bin-laden-killed-by-us-forces Mon, 02 May 2011 01:15:57 -0400 Ranted     We love to play games at our nightly family dinners. Tonight we played a game we all love which is a box of cards that asks various questions. What is your favorite time of day. When was the last time[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/556/open-mouth-insert-jackass http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/556/open-mouth-insert-jackass Fri, 15 Apr 2011 01:20:40 -0400 Ranted   I stood by idly while The Guiding Light was cancelled. Then yesterday I was horrified to see that Days of our Lives is facing cancellation as well. I suppose there is nothing to do but let my dirty little secret[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/97/save-the-soaps http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/97/save-the-soaps Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:30:54 -0400 Ranted Guest post by Amy B. Hole. Before I get started, let me say that this post is probably going to rub some of you the wrong way. You’re going to think I’m judgmental. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/555/i-got-mad-then-i-got-active http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/555/i-got-mad-then-i-got-active Wed, 13 Apr 2011 10:40:52 -0400 Ranted This morning I walked into Starbucks to see that now, thanks to Prop 65, they too need to remind me that I could die.  Can we just dispense of all the warning signs? Restaurants that use balsamic vinegar claiming you could[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/554/warning-you-could-die http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/554/warning-you-could-die Tue, 05 Apr 2011 12:26:22 -0400 Stefanie Says     Yesterday while carpooling to my third school of the afternoon, I was daydreaming about ditching my giant gas guzzling 101,000 mile having (all attained in a ten mile radius) tank for a 1969 cherry apple red Mustang convertible.   I was pulled[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/553/mustangs-vaginas-and-santa http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/553/mustangs-vaginas-and-santa Tue, 29 Mar 2011 21:38:56 -0400 Ranted From the archives: Last night, having put a tantrum throwing toddler out of my mind with a stiff glass of wine and a CSI rerun (because nothing makes you forget an embarrassing grocery store moment like a dead hooker) I dozed[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/552/shit-flakes http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/552/shit-flakes Mon, 28 Mar 2011 00:20:08 -0400 Ranted This week my husband has been out of town (note to stalkers, he gets home tonight) Colton has had a fever, headache and nasty cough all week causing us both to have sleepless nights. Every evening I have had either[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/551/my-celebrity-crush http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/551/my-celebrity-crush Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:37:05 -0400 Stefanie Says Last evening I suspected Colton had a sinus infection, so I took him to the doctor. Keenan was with me and insisted on sitting in the car because a. I am a dork and he doesn't want to be seen[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/550/sos http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/550/sos Tue, 22 Mar 2011 12:50:05 -0400 Ranted Guest Post By Susan Zilberman   I have a son, but he is no longer here with me.  He died at age 26 of an unintentional drug overdose.  The pain of losing him is so unbearable that is almost defies description in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/549/greggs-gift http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/549/greggs-gift Mon, 21 Mar 2011 01:01:46 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll This guest post by LittleFrye: This is for my daughter who is the one with the illness. 30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW.  1. The illness I live with is: Asthma 2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/546/invisible-illness http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/546/invisible-illness Thu, 17 Mar 2011 18:13:41 -0400 Ranted   Guest post by Pauline Campos. Her bio is below. I’ve been trying to decide for a while now how I will celebrate the day my (currently non-existent) agent calls me with the incredibly fantastical awesome news that I have a book[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/547/platform-the-secret-agent-monkey http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/547/platform-the-secret-agent-monkey Wed, 16 Mar 2011 18:32:50 -0400 Ranted Sick of years of his wife's nagging and honey to-do lists, Bob packed his bags and hit the road.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/548/full-of-hot-air http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/548/full-of-hot-air Tue, 15 Mar 2011 14:30:08 -0400 Ranted This guest post is courtesy of Christina. She blogs at Trees & flowers & birds. You can connect with her on Twitter too. "She must not air out her mind much" – Robin That quote from a comment by Robin  (which makes[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/545/rainbows-ponies-hearts-love-hugsbleargh http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/545/rainbows-ponies-hearts-love-hugsbleargh Sun, 13 Mar 2011 17:46:05 -0400 Ranted [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/544/friday-funnies http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/544/friday-funnies Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:45:19 -0500 Ranted As you may, or may not have noticed, I have been a little checked out of Ooph lately. I have been working hard another project, www.sdmomfia.com with @rockonmommies and @hipmamab. I have limited time to post, but love my readers and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/543/it-isnt-me-its-you http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/543/it-isnt-me-its-you Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:05:46 -0500 Ranted If this long path could lead you anywhere? Where would it take you?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/542/the-long-path-to http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/542/the-long-path-to Thu, 10 Mar 2011 10:22:46 -0500 Ranted What is Ash Wednesday?   Would your son be able to answer that question? If not, you have a great topic of discussion for your family dinner this evening. Teaching your children about the many religions in this world and their traditions[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/541/ash-wednesday http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/541/ash-wednesday Wed, 09 Mar 2011 13:06:01 -0500 Ranted My teenage son's homework last night? A sonnet on love. The result is below: Love's Difficulty Love is a difficult game you must play, If you are to love you must love with devotion, It is like a cold drink on a warm summer[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/540/a-sonnet-on-love http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/540/a-sonnet-on-love Tue, 08 Mar 2011 11:02:26 -0500 Ranted By Jennifer Stipe, Caron Treatment Centers, www.caron.org  For the past two years I have had an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children and adolescents who are looking for answers to questions and situations like these:  I feel like[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/539/transforming-children-of-alcoholics-into-kids-of-promise http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/539/transforming-children-of-alcoholics-into-kids-of-promise Thu, 17 Feb 2011 11:56:11 -0500 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll As most of you know I am working with Beth and Theresa on a new site called SDMOMfia. Today we launched a new column called Ask Mrs. V. All your interesting and somtimes bizzarre sex questions answered. Come join the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/538/mrs-v http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/538/mrs-v Fri, 11 Feb 2011 13:23:08 -0500 Ranted If you haven’t heard about the tiny little book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, then you need to quit wiping snotty noses and head over to your computer. Stat. You don’t need to buy the book. But? Everyone else[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/536/are-there-lessons-to-be-learned-from-a-tiger http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/536/are-there-lessons-to-be-learned-from-a-tiger Tue, 01 Feb 2011 17:24:10 -0500 Stefanie Says Update: Joey submitted this post to Oprah and will be on Oprah's "Coming Out" show today, along with Greg Louganis. Please watch and support. We love you Joey! This is a much longer post than I usually have here on Ooph[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/485/growing-up-gay http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/485/growing-up-gay Tue, 25 Jan 2011 09:05:15 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior As many of you have heard, MTV debuted it's new series, “Skins”, on January 17th. This is a quote pulled from Fox News: “On January 17, the Viacom-owned cable network MTV aired a teenager-based drama, ‘Skins.’ The episode included all manner[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/535/mtv-must-be-stopped http://www.ooph.com/topics/pop-culture/535/mtv-must-be-stopped Sat, 22 Jan 2011 20:07:44 -0500 Pop Culture Can you relate?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/534/why-women-stay-single http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/534/why-women-stay-single Wed, 19 Jan 2011 22:22:25 -0500 Ranted     The other day J and I were driving home from our little getaway in the desert for our good friend’s 50th birthday party. THAT’S RIGHT PEOPLE. I went to a 50th. Which is so weird because it seems like just[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/533/another-mother http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/533/another-mother Wed, 19 Jan 2011 12:57:44 -0500 Ranted This will make me happy for the rest of my life. I could eat this little girl whole she is so precious. Enjoy and have a great weekend.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/531/forever-happy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/531/forever-happy Sat, 15 Jan 2011 10:27:34 -0500 Ranted My husband always has the video camera handy. He is "that guy" who videos every move we make. Which? Is totally awesome for the boys because one day they will be crazy amounts of grateful to see how wonderful their[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/530/my-life-in-video http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/530/my-life-in-video Fri, 07 Jan 2011 00:59:57 -0500 Ranted My girlfriend just sent me this email and I needed to share it. Because? It is fabulous. And? We all deserve to be happy. I wish I knew who originally wrote it so I could give them credit.  CALMNESS IN OUR[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/529/the-road-to-happiness http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/529/the-road-to-happiness Thu, 06 Jan 2011 13:26:33 -0500 Ranted This? One of my happiest places. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/528/happy-new-year http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/528/happy-new-year Sat, 01 Jan 2011 00:52:08 -0500 Ranted A post from last year as I will be spending my day hurling from one too many spins on the damn teacups at Disneyland.  Yesterday Keenan stayed home from school with a "headache".  The headache started after a helmet to helmet[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/261/something-wicked-this-way-comes http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/261/something-wicked-this-way-comes Tue, 14 Dec 2010 10:00:31 -0500 Can You Relate? December 13, 2010 Ooph HeadquartersPO Box 1234Soap Box, CA 12345 Dear Xbox: First, a small piece of advice. It is WAY cooler to make the first letter of your product small case and then the second letter large case and then the rest[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/526/poor-misunderstood-xbox http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/526/poor-misunderstood-xbox Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:45:16 -0500 Stefanie Says A fire burning in the fireplace, the tree lit up in all it's glory, the lights are dimmed, the egg nog flowing and your holiday movie of choice is playing on the television. Which one would you choose? Ralphie and his[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/525/which-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/525/which-one Thu, 09 Dec 2010 21:34:32 -0500 Ranted This, my family sucks at Christmas card photos because they hate me, post got me thinking. How fun would it be to do a photo montage of the most crapsoblutely christmasuckiest holiday photos? The funnest. So? Halp me celebrate the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/524/merry-songs-and-crappy-photos http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/524/merry-songs-and-crappy-photos Wed, 08 Dec 2010 22:22:36 -0500 Ranted Every Thanksgiving we have a family ritual. I cook for three days, I bitch, I scream, the house is cleaned spotless, I make everyone shower (do you have any idea what kind of Goliath effort this requires with three boys?)[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/523/im-the-one-sipping-a-martini-in-the-corner http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/523/im-the-one-sipping-a-martini-in-the-corner Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:57:53 -0500 Stefanie Says As the holidays approach, I am crazy busy with the whole communicating non stop with Santa thing. Because, you know, four year olds? They change their minds. Every. Ten. Minutes. And teens? Every three. This is why Santa created egg[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/164/cops-in-carpool http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/164/cops-in-carpool Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:00:03 -0500 Ranted The Power of Parenting: A Mom’s Guide to Influencing a Positive Sense of Self in Your Daughter   By Janice D. Styer, MSW, Clinical Supervisor/Addiction Counselor Caron Treatment Centers, www.caron.org   While society today can make it challenging for young women to feel good about[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/522/create-a-positive-body-image-in-your-daughter http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/522/create-a-positive-body-image-in-your-daughter Fri, 03 Dec 2010 10:02:50 -0500 Health, Image, Behavior This past week, I took my kids out of town to a resort to get away during the holiday. We've had a tough year, and we needed a break. This resort included an indoor water park. One of the things[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/521/perspective http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/521/perspective Thu, 02 Dec 2010 11:09:18 -0500 Ranted I've always loved the title and tagline of Stefanie's blog: "Ooph -- because sometimes life takes your breath away." It's so true, isn't it? Life can take our breath away in good ways, but it most certainly gives us a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/520/sometimes-a-bad-body-image-can-be-a-good-thing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/520/sometimes-a-bad-body-image-can-be-a-good-thing Wed, 01 Dec 2010 09:48:29 -0500 Ranted The following post is written by one of my favorite bloggers. Her writing is always raw and honest. It cuts to the core of who she is. Always letting you inside a private place in her heart. Please give a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/519/getting-my-sexy-back http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/519/getting-my-sexy-back Tue, 30 Nov 2010 10:00:15 -0500 Ranted I am thankful for all of you who come to this blog daily. You put a smile on my face. Every. Day. My gratitude? Immeasurable.   As the crazy begins, take four minutes to relax and enjoy the beauty of this[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/517/a-few-minutes-for-you-and-a-thank-you http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/517/a-few-minutes-for-you-and-a-thank-you Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:31:36 -0500 Ranted   Yesterday I was at the grocery store. The very same one that I call my second home because I am there. Every. Single. Day. The one where everyone knows my name and Colton’s and we know their names.  As I wandered[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/516/merry-christmas http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/516/merry-christmas Tue, 23 Nov 2010 10:59:02 -0500 Ranted This week my kids are home from school all week and I will be cooking lots and lots of food. So? It leaves little time for writing. Wine, food, screaming, martyring, "mom he thisses" and "mom he thats" and "oh[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/515/simpler-times http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/515/simpler-times Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:20:41 -0500 Ranted As we go into this holiday week with all the kids home from school and giving to everyone else around us, let's take one brief moment to think of ourselves. Because? Until Monday the 29th? We are THEIRS. Sweet mother of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/514/the-one-thing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/514/the-one-thing Fri, 19 Nov 2010 09:29:34 -0500 Ranted On Tuesday I had lunch with Julie Chen, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Rimini and Marissa Jaret Winokur. Oh yes I did.Let me start from the beginning.A few weeks ago I was on the phone[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/513/a-hollywood-adventure http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/513/a-hollywood-adventure Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:19:35 -0500 Ranted Waiting for Superman is a must see for all parents. Don't bury your head in the sand and forget this movie. It isn’t acceptable to ignore this issue because we live in Suburbia and it isn’t “our” problem. Oh. It is.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/512/a-call-to-action http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/512/a-call-to-action Mon, 15 Nov 2010 16:44:32 -0500 Education The week of November 29 - December 3, WhateverNation will be hosting a week long campaign devoted to body image. Much like the anti-bullying campaign, we will be asking for your guest posts and insights. Please email me at stefanie(at)ooph(dot)com[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/511/body-image-awareness-week http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/511/body-image-awareness-week Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:13:21 -0500 Whatever Nation We are in San Antonio, Texas this week visiting the in-laws. My posts may be a bit sporadic. Keep checking in for photos and stories.  Until I get back, don't forget to register to win a $500.00 American Express gift card here.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/510/texas-style-yall http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/510/texas-style-yall Sun, 07 Nov 2010 09:32:46 -0500 Ranted If you are anything like me, you are talking nonstop to your kids about drinking, driving, sex, drugs, bullying and on and on and on. Talking to your kids about money is far down the list. As in? Here’s a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/509/mama-needs-boots-or-talk-to-your-kids-about-money http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/509/mama-needs-boots-or-talk-to-your-kids-about-money Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:40:07 -0400 Ranted The week of November 29 - December 3, WhaterNation will be hosting a week long campaign to raise awareness, offer help and, as is the constant purpose here at WN, to start conversation about teens and body image. Much like[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/508/body-image http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/508/body-image Thu, 04 Nov 2010 10:37:51 -0400 Whatever Nation Dear Brett FavreYou have taken a proverbial crap on those of us who fantasize about you. And we, the Housewives with Fantasies? Are not happy.It all started in Green Bay. We didn’t really care about you in Atlanta. Just saying.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/507/a-letter-from-housewives-with-fantasies http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/507/a-letter-from-housewives-with-fantasies Wed, 03 Nov 2010 13:11:19 -0400 Stefanie Says About a month ago my brother called and asked, “Do dad and Sybil have separate bedrooms?” (My father and step-mother.)“No,” I replied, “I don’t think so.” Because? That is crazy talk. Who in the hell has separate bedrooms? Even the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/506/is-two-better-than-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/506/is-two-better-than-one Mon, 01 Nov 2010 14:14:26 -0400 Ranted Halloween night at the Ooph house. Chaos? Of course. Colton. The cowboy. That's Noah running around in his pajamas. Clyde the crazy dog makes his appearance. Don't forget to listen for Keenan's comment after Clyde takes Colton's legs out. Hope[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/505/happy-halloween http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/505/happy-halloween Sun, 31 Oct 2010 23:43:18 -0400 Ranted Today a break from all the writing. The Sits Girls played a game on their Facebook page a while back that was a lot of fun. So? I am stealing it. I will post a word below and then the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/504/friday-fun http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/504/friday-fun Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:22:14 -0400 Ranted I was going to post my review of, Waiting for Superman, today. But? Last night one of my favorite bloggers tweeted me this: So. I went and read her post on teens and birth control. It was[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/503/teens-and-birth-control http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/503/teens-and-birth-control Thu, 28 Oct 2010 01:31:08 -0400 Whatever Nation Homework. The bane of parents' and kids' existence. I hear complaints constantly from other moms. “These kids have so much homework. How are we supposed to find any time for family life?”Or from the kids, “Homework sucks.”And you know what?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/502/homework http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/502/homework Wed, 27 Oct 2010 10:48:38 -0400 Education You should be ashamed of yourselves. I hope you are, but I suspect instead you are relishing in the attention. No thought given at all to the message you have sent to our tweens and teens. Are you sitting around[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/501/dear-glee-sex-pots http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/501/dear-glee-sex-pots Tue, 26 Oct 2010 13:02:59 -0400 Stefanie Says I tried to come up with something really original this week. For like? HOURS. And then? I gave up. This is the best I've got. But? Who could forget Good Will Hunting? One of the greatest Oscar stories ever. So, this[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/500/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/500/who-would-you-rather Fri, 22 Oct 2010 01:10:22 -0400 Ranted I am off this morning to see Waiting for Superman, a movie that tackles the current state of education in America. Below is a brief snippet of the synopsis. To learn more and pledge to see the film, click here.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/499/we-revisit-teen-pregnancy http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/499/we-revisit-teen-pregnancy Thu, 21 Oct 2010 11:52:36 -0400 Whatever Nation The reason for this letter. Chant. Dear Men of Yale:Well. I guess you all find yourselves in a heap of shit this morning don’t you. Another one of those bad decisions you wish you could take back? Who started that chant[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/498/to-the-boys-of-yale http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/498/to-the-boys-of-yale Wed, 20 Oct 2010 13:34:36 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior I am all for men and their erections. I mean, who would want to deprive them of that which defines them? And? If they have problems in that ballgame? By all means, they should do whatever they need to get[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/497/those-commercials http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/497/those-commercials Mon, 18 Oct 2010 23:52:50 -0400 Stefanie Says I have been incredibly humbled over the last week by the number of you willing to share your stories on my site. Thank you. Sadly, I received more stories than I could publish. If you didn't think bullying was an[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/496/in-closing http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/496/in-closing Mon, 18 Oct 2010 12:42:59 -0400 Whatever Nation Google has been ordered to release the names of three online commenters by the Manhattan Supreme Court. According to the New York Daily News, former model turned business woman with degrees from Duke and Columbia, Carla Franklin, sued Google for[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/495/google-ordered-to-turn-over-names http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/495/google-ordered-to-turn-over-names Mon, 18 Oct 2010 12:11:41 -0400 Technology © Jeffrey Leiken, MA/ Likone Corp 2010Most Bullies Are Not Sociopaths!I've spent 25 years working with teens and young adults, helping them navigate the perils of the adolescent stage of life to grow into confident, centered adults.  Along the way[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/494/a-peak-inside-the-minds-of-bullies http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/494/a-peak-inside-the-minds-of-bullies Mon, 18 Oct 2010 09:53:07 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior I had a bully, and from the day she decided she wanted my neighbour friend exclusively to herself, she was all mine. She arrived in grade 5 and zoned her sights in on me, nailing me relentlessly until[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/493/the-resonance-of-my-bully http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/493/the-resonance-of-my-bully Sat, 16 Oct 2010 10:05:40 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior By Anne Daniel, Student Assistance Specialist, Caron Treatment CentersTyler Clementi’s preventable death is an American tragedy.  He will not be able to realize his full potential as a human being.  We are all, like it or not, a part of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/492/the-importance-of-teaching-acceptance-to-our-children http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/492/the-importance-of-teaching-acceptance-to-our-children Fri, 15 Oct 2010 19:13:55 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior This story was submitted by the Guilty Squid. Kallie, a pretty 16 year old girl, with a smile that beams mischief and laughter. Kallie, a cheerleader and a part time teacher at a local dance/cheer studio. Kallie, with a love of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/491/kallies-story http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/491/kallies-story Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:12:49 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior As this week of stories unfolded here at WhateverNation, as one of my bestie blogger buddies, Mary McCarthy, and I chatted away about how terrible all of it was, how important the message, bullies had to be stopped. Right then,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/490/retaliation http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/490/retaliation Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:47:55 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior Take the twelve minutes and watch this all the way through. Then show it to your children. Have your children show it to their friends. Post it on Facebook. Tweet it out. Shout it from your roof tops. Do whatever[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/489/it-gets-better http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/489/it-gets-better Thu, 14 Oct 2010 12:43:00 -0400 Whatever Nation This post was written by Melissa at RockandDrool. Anyone bullied knows that the words used to harm you as a child never go away. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will severely hurt me...It was over 30 years[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/488/the-lasting-effects http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/488/the-lasting-effects Thu, 14 Oct 2010 12:14:54 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior By Dan Anderson Dan's wife writes at It's Hard Being Perfect. This post was his guest post on her site. I am honored and grateful that they shared it with me.Below are two news stories that have gotten some high-profile press[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/487/a-fathers-story http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/487/a-fathers-story Thu, 14 Oct 2010 00:10:54 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior This post is by one of my absolute favorite bloggers. She inspires me daily to tackle the tough topics on this blog. How you ask? By sending me emails with a link to an article in the news and innocently[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/484/how-many-more-kids-have-to-die http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/484/how-many-more-kids-have-to-die Tue, 12 Oct 2010 23:36:53 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior More on the reasons for bullying by Christina Nowacki:In one school year, ¼ of students across grades reported that they had been harassed or bullied on school property because of their race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation or disability.Nearly 1/3[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/483/more-stats-on-bullying http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/483/more-stats-on-bullying Tue, 12 Oct 2010 14:39:49 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior "Come on, honey, we've got to leave for school now. " I call out at 8:00 a.m. to my middle son. "I don't feel good. I don't know what's wrong." I'm surprised to hear this, he was fine only minutes ago.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/482/you-think-youd-recognize-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/482/you-think-youd-recognize-it Tue, 12 Oct 2010 12:30:43 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior This post by Brandi McCallum, I found to be courageous. The mother of a bully sharing her story. What she did to change the tide is inspiring. My hope is that you all see how[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/481/my-son-the-bully http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/481/my-son-the-bully Tue, 12 Oct 2010 02:00:38 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior The author of this post has asked to remain anonymous.I was a fat kid. I am a fat adult. While I still remember the hell of childhood I am no longer haunted by the torment I endured. I am 38[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/480/a-teachers-story http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/480/a-teachers-story Mon, 11 Oct 2010 16:16:49 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior These stats brought to you by Christina Nowaski. Each day this week, she will provide us with more horrifying stats on bullying. Whenever we come across hard topics in life, it often helps to look at things in black and white.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/479/bullying-stats http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/479/bullying-stats Mon, 11 Oct 2010 15:19:42 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior The author of this story has asked to remain anonymous. My son was called names, pushed, shoved, had rocks thrown at him, had cleaner sprayed in his face, was assaulted from behind and struck in the head multiple times and on[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/477/i-hold-my-breathe http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/477/i-hold-my-breathe Mon, 11 Oct 2010 10:25:00 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior This entire week on WhateverNation will be devoted to bully awareness. Our campaign is titled, "Don't Be a Butt Head." A little odd? Perhaps. But my thoughts on creating that name are this. When my kids were young, fourish, they[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/478/dont-be-a-butt-head http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/478/dont-be-a-butt-head Sun, 10 Oct 2010 22:48:52 -0400 Whatever Nation This week my friends? A doozy. And? It isn't even my whiskey tango family. It's from one of my besties, Mary McCarthy. You know. Mrs. Pajamas and Coffee herself. She was kind enough to share this gem of a photo with all[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/475/you-caption-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/475/you-caption-it Thu, 07 Oct 2010 23:36:48 -0400 Ranted I ran a shitload of errands today. Also? I drank a lot of water because HELLO I am turning 40 in a few months and Jennifer Aniston drinks like two gallons of Smart Water every day. AND? She looks 23.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/474/are-you-a-pisser-cleaner-upper-or-a-jerk http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/474/are-you-a-pisser-cleaner-upper-or-a-jerk Wed, 06 Oct 2010 23:03:45 -0400 Ranted Next week on WhateverNation we will do our part to try and educate parents about bullying. Our anti-bullying week has been planned for quite some time and in light of the most recent tragic events, the need is DIRE. We[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/473/stop-bullying-now http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/473/stop-bullying-now Tue, 05 Oct 2010 23:46:06 -0400 Whatever Nation Warning: This post isn't nearly as long as it appears in the mirror. There are a lot of definitions that you can scan. But. If you have a teen or a child that will be soon, you MUST read this[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/472/its-all-the-rave http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/472/its-all-the-rave Tue, 05 Oct 2010 11:54:30 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll Yesterday J and Colton were in the parking lot at the YMCA. I had already left after Colton’s T-ball game to head off to a much needed yoga class where I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my back.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/471/the-important-things-in-life http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/471/the-important-things-in-life Sun, 03 Oct 2010 23:33:56 -0400 Ranted One of my consulting clients called this afternoon and asked if I would be interested in taking on a project with them and iVillage. He directed me to the contest page and I slowly scanned it, forming my contributions in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/opinion/469/my-ovaries-ache http://www.ooph.com/topics/opinion/469/my-ovaries-ache Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:39:01 -0400 Opinion Think your teenager won’t have sex? Flip a coin. Those are your odds. Almost 50% of all teens confess to having sex. Have two kids? Odds are one of them will.Guess how many teenagers get pregnant every year? Bet you[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/468/the-glamour-of-teen-pregnancy http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/468/the-glamour-of-teen-pregnancy Thu, 30 Sep 2010 10:46:35 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll I received the following email this afternoon. And? I am so excited. And? Because I am not selfish, I have decided to share this exciting offer with you. Greetings,Hello, I am Mr.Jon Chan a South Korean and one of the Director[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/467/we-are-going-to-be-rich http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/467/we-are-going-to-be-rich Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:29:16 -0400 Ranted The day I turned 13, my mother took me to Planned Parenthood. I. Was. MORTIFIED. You are going to do what? With that what? For the next five LONG minutes, I thought of Dorothy and flying away in a twister[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/466/teens-and-birth-control http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/466/teens-and-birth-control Tue, 28 Sep 2010 14:12:44 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll J has hats, shirts and other John Deere crap lying all around this house.  He tells me all the time that if I really want to make him happy I would go out and purchase the above item[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/465/its-all-a-bit-confusing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/465/its-all-a-bit-confusing Mon, 27 Sep 2010 13:56:42 -0400 Ranted This week's you caption it is wettin' my whistle and y'all haven't even gotten started. Why you ask?One. I LOVE this photo and can't wait to see what fabulous captions you come up with. Because seriously? Look at it.Two. The[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/464/you-caption-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/464/you-caption-it Fri, 24 Sep 2010 00:27:46 -0400 Ranted Last year, as a freshman, Keenan had absolutely ZERO desire for a social life. He was content to play Xbox, check other peoples' social lives on Facebook, beat up on his brothers and hang with a few close friends that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/463/and-now-were-here http://www.ooph.com/topics/sex-drugs-rock-roll/463/and-now-were-here Thu, 23 Sep 2010 00:14:31 -0400 Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll The fabulous generationXmom is guest posting today on Ooph. I love this post. Something old, something new. We parent this way in our home. Reading her post had me feeling all Little House on the Prairie warm and fuzzy, with[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/461/live-in-yesterday-a-key-to-parenting-today http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/461/live-in-yesterday-a-key-to-parenting-today Mon, 20 Sep 2010 23:02:39 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior Today I ask the proverbial question. Would you rather die hard or raid the lost ark? Bruce Willis. or Harrison Ford. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/460/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/460/who-would-you-rather Fri, 17 Sep 2010 00:23:56 -0400 Ranted What percentage of teenagers between the ages of 15 and 17 do you think have viewed pornography on the internet? Twenty percent? Forty percent? Is that too high? According to Salvo Magazine and a study by Enough.org, the answer is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/459/adult-sites-target-your-children http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/459/adult-sites-target-your-children Wed, 15 Sep 2010 18:56:30 -0400 Technology Yesterday I dropped Colton off in the daycare at the gym and went for a workout. I picked him up about five minutes later (KIDDING, it was ten minutes) and we went to CPK (OUR FAVE) for lunch. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/458/tell-me-sweet-little-lies http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/458/tell-me-sweet-little-lies Wed, 15 Sep 2010 10:26:49 -0400 Ranted Yesterday Noah and I were sitting outside together watching a hawk circling overhead. Me: Wow. He sure is beautiful.Noah: (staring thoughtfully at the hawk) He sure is.Me: I wonder what he is circling.Noah: I don’t know. (a dreamy look in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/456/its-a-bird-its-a-human-its-a-teen-boy http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/456/its-a-bird-its-a-human-its-a-teen-boy Sun, 12 Sep 2010 20:20:38 -0400 Can You Relate? For some Sunday fun.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/452/facebook-is-a-stupid-idiot http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/452/facebook-is-a-stupid-idiot Sun, 12 Sep 2010 00:37:21 -0400 Ranted Shocking? Yes. But? I have been nominated for a Babble Award. Wowsers. If you are so inclined, click this link and give me a "like". It's good Karma, so buy a lottery ticket afterwards. (I don't really have that kind[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/455/shocking-indeed http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/455/shocking-indeed Fri, 10 Sep 2010 23:53:55 -0400 Ranted It’s the end of the week and that means I am up for some fun. Like You Caption It or Who Would You Rather. Only today? We are trying something different. Today. We are poets.Here is how it works. Remember[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/454/its-a-rhyme-thang http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/454/its-a-rhyme-thang Thu, 09 Sep 2010 21:49:37 -0400 Ranted Why You Should Check Your Kids Emails, Facebook, Twitter, etc.  I am a VERY nosy, email checking, Facebook following kind of mom.  That doesn’t mean my kids don’t get in trouble. They do. But? I feel like if I stay a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/453/spying-on-your-kids-online http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/453/spying-on-your-kids-online Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:04:36 -0400 Technology This is my very first vlog. My apologies in advance. But? I felt like there were some visual aspects that could not be properly described via writing. And true to the title, I am no Martha F. Stewart.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/451/i-am-no-martha-f-stewart http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/451/i-am-no-martha-f-stewart Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:47:21 -0400 Ranted At my BlogFrog community, @twitadrian, who blogs at Adrian's Crazy Life posted this excellent question:So far I am holding the line on not having a cell phone for my middle schooler.  First of all, I don't think it is necessary,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/449/cell-phones-the-when-the-what-the-texting http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/449/cell-phones-the-when-the-what-the-texting Tue, 07 Sep 2010 09:33:35 -0400 Technology Below are the three finalists: Vote for your favorite in the comment section below. In other news...These two below gave me a HUGE belly laugh, but since they are both related to me, they aren't eligible for the prize. My husband's because,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/450/caption-it-finalists http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/450/caption-it-finalists Mon, 06 Sep 2010 13:01:53 -0400 Ranted The photo above is ready for you to caption. So? Pretend you are one of those people that comes up with really funny captions for those fabulous cards you see at specialty shops. Give it your best shot. What is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/448/you-caption-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/448/you-caption-it Fri, 03 Sep 2010 00:11:43 -0400 Ranted We sat down at a table and within seconds we were engrossed in a conversation with a group of men. This made me particularly happy because my girlfriend is single and could, ummm, really use some attention. Things are lookin’[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/447/the-end-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/447/the-end-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:47:02 -0400 Ranted It is my hope that this three part series has been informative, perhaps a wake-up call and (most importantly) motivating to all who have been reading. Please talk to your kids about this topic. Do it often. It[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/446/teenage-drivers http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/446/teenage-drivers Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:53:48 -0400 OMG Driving I have been trying to write this post for well over a week.  I am sure you have noticed that I haven’t posted much of anything along the lines of real writing in quite some time.  Today I realized that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/445/making-sense-of-the-senseless http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/445/making-sense-of-the-senseless Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:44:47 -0400 OMG Driving This past weekend Keenan came into my room and asked if he could go to the gym with a friend of his for a quick workout. “Sure,” I responded. “What time do I need to drop you off?”And then? He[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/444/teenagers-and-driving-or-i-cant-breathe http://www.ooph.com/topics/omg-driving/444/teenagers-and-driving-or-i-cant-breathe Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:42:29 -0400 OMG Driving First? My apologies. I am so sorry this damn story won't end. Really? I am. It just isn't good enough to be four parts. But? I can't seem to write well enough to shorten it. Again. My apologies. If you missed[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/443/the-almost-ending-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/443/the-almost-ending-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:53:14 -0400 Ranted Wow. It's been a while since I have posted a who would you rather. And, thanks to my good friend Erin, this one is shaken, not stirred. Who would you rather of these 007 hotties? Sean Connery. Roger Moore. Pierce Brosnan. Or? Daniel Craig. Which sexy 007[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/442/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/442/who-would-you-rather Fri, 27 Aug 2010 00:52:00 -0400 Ranted On Monday, I shared a “boy gene” conversation with you. Today? Another one. Only this one is about my husband. And? It is proof that no matter how old they get, they never grow out of being boys. Yesterday, while[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/441/men-will-be-boys http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/441/men-will-be-boys Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:29:04 -0400 Ranted I was reading the news the other day and, to my surprise, I learned that when my 17-year-old son acts like an imbecile it's not his fault. It's biology.This was actually kind of a relief to me, but you'll pardon[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/440/teensthey-cant-help-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/health-image-behavior/440/teensthey-cant-help-it Tue, 24 Aug 2010 00:56:35 -0400 Health, Image, Behavior Yesterday Colton and I were driving home from the grocery when I heard, “bang bang.”I turned around to see him holding his two hands in the standard “boys are born with it” gun position.“Look mama,” he said, “I have two[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/437/its-a-boy-thingright http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/437/its-a-boy-thingright Mon, 23 Aug 2010 00:01:24 -0400 Stefanie Says Want your teens to become perfect little angels who never argue and do everything you tell them to do? Yes? Then don’t have children.But. The contract below will get you closer to that lack of reality.With just two weeks left[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/435/back-to-school-contract-or-zip-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/education/435/back-to-school-contract-or-zip-it Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:53:30 -0400 Education ...these boys need to go back to school. 10. Feeding them and their posse has depleted our entire life’s savings.9. Vodka. It isn’t cheap.8. “Turn the Xbox off and get outside and play.” 7. My house makes those people on Hoarders[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/434/top-ten-reasons http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/434/top-ten-reasons Wed, 18 Aug 2010 10:25:42 -0400 Ranted Today is an exciting day. I am proud to announce the launch of WhateverNation. As the parent of teenagers I found very little content on the internet that satisfied my desire for more information. Intelligent debate on relevant topics such as:The[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/433/whatevernation http://www.ooph.com/topics/whatever-nation/433/whatevernation Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:42:28 -0400 Whatever Nation Now you vote. Which caption is your favorite? The winner will get the nifty eco-friendly shopping bags.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/432/you-captioned-it-now-vote-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/432/you-captioned-it-now-vote-it Mon, 16 Aug 2010 11:49:42 -0400 Ranted who is the brattiest of us all? Yesterday Noah was entertaining Colton while I was doing some work. By entertaining, I of course mean he was sitting next to him watching television. About ten minutes into the show,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/430/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/430/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:05:35 -0400 Ranted I am incredibly privileged to be a part of the Promises2Kids drive to obtain backpacks and flash drives for the beautiful children that have the unfortunate need to reside at their facility. My children (and I would guess most of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/428/promises2kids http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/428/promises2kids Thu, 12 Aug 2010 00:30:04 -0400 Ranted the beginnining of the story that ends in shit For nearly 40 minutes we sat on the plane, doors open, unmoving, with the sound of crickets coming from the crew. I kept looking up to the front of the plane waiting[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/427/the-middle-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/427/the-middle-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:03:50 -0400 Ranted The photo above is ready for you to caption as if it was one of those really cool cards you see at specialty shops. Give it your best shot. What is she thinking? What is the first thought that pops[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/429/you-caption-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/429/you-caption-it Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:36:32 -0400 Ranted As you all know, I headed out to the Big Apple last week. Boarding an airplane for me is like strapping dynamite to my body, running down the middle of the highway with a lit cigarette hanging out of my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/426/the-beginning-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/426/the-beginning-of-the-story-that-ends-in-shit Tue, 10 Aug 2010 00:01:23 -0400 Ranted Upon returning home from New York, I found my house a mess, my refrigerator empty, my wine depleted (I may or may not have been responsible for that before I left), my laundry overwhelming, my ability to to drink alcohol[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/425/upon-return http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/425/upon-return Mon, 09 Aug 2010 14:22:24 -0400 Ranted  a father never wants to hear his teen daughter say over the phone... By the always crass and hilarious Brett Sanders of Brettandthecity.com Like every other parent; after years of begging and pleading, my wife and I finally broke down and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/424/16-things http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/424/16-things Fri, 06 Aug 2010 00:01:36 -0400 Ranted Want more of this blogjacker? Find him at DadCentric. Thursday, July 29, 5:45 AM: Up at the crack of dawn. I didn’t think this through. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Hijack Ooph? Hell yeah. Only too late[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/423/diary-of-a-blogjacker http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/423/diary-of-a-blogjacker Wed, 04 Aug 2010 11:17:01 -0400 Ranted Rock Star guest post by OutNumbered The evening prior to our departure for vacation. My Wife and I talk in bed...Out-Numbered - Are you excited for tomorrow?Wife - Totally. Are you?Out-Numbered - Absolutely. I just feel like I still have a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/422/married-sex http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/422/married-sex Wed, 04 Aug 2010 01:45:59 -0400 Ranted Guest post from the fabulous Why Is Daddy Crying? So apparently this amazingly talented mom decided to ditch her family and head to the Big Apple for BlogHer. High fives to her hubby for taking over this Interweb Thingy space of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/421/a-night-at-the-ball-park-with-my-poodle-kids http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/421/a-night-at-the-ball-park-with-my-poodle-kids Tue, 03 Aug 2010 00:44:52 -0400 Ranted Got a question for you.  Ever been in a taxi cab and you quickly realize that the driver is either drunk, high on cough syrup or just a plain old shitty driver? You sit there helplessly wondering if you ask[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/420/hey-its-me-j-buckle-your-seats-belts http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/420/hey-its-me-j-buckle-your-seats-belts Mon, 02 Aug 2010 10:28:02 -0400 Ranted Recently my friends and I were at dinner and we were playing the question game.  It started with one of the gals asking if we had ever known anyone in prison. Know someone?  I was raised by[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/362/on-being-whiskey-tango http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/362/on-being-whiskey-tango Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:00:59 -0400 Stefanie Says Girls Night. Your husband gives you a hall pass.  A night on the town with your favorite gal pals. But you have to choose between the two of them. Who would you rather? Charlize Theron Or. Penelope Cruz [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/418/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/418/who-would-you-rather Fri, 30 Jul 2010 00:24:20 -0400 Ranted I am going to New York y’all. Note: I don’t actually say y’all. EVER. But. I have family who does and the Guilty Squid (Please read her Steve Jobs Post. Read it. Hilarious. You’re welcome. I laughed so hard I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/417/no-boston-baked-beans-regrets http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/417/no-boston-baked-beans-regrets Wed, 28 Jul 2010 23:55:46 -0400 Ranted This morning Colton was so excited to go to the Dentist. Which totally shocked the hell out of me after last time. Just as we were about to walk out the door, he said, “Oh. I almost forgot,” and ran[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/415/the-ritual-dance-or-humiliation-at-the-store http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/415/the-ritual-dance-or-humiliation-at-the-store Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:43:28 -0400 Stefanie Says This question made me giggle. My guess is she isn't the only one struggling with this issue. Dear Ooph, My husband has the worst taste in clothes. Actually, he has no taste. He doesn't care about it at all. He wears t-shirts[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/414/mondays-mother-july-26 http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/414/mondays-mother-july-26 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:02:37 -0400 Ranted You know the drill. This week features: Kyle Chandler? Or. Matthew Fox? Special thanks to @rockonmommies and @Jen_eration_X for coming up with these two hotties. Well done ladies.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/413/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/413/who-would-you-rather Fri, 23 Jul 2010 00:12:35 -0400 Ranted And the answer is..... Click here to find out the question. Hi mom. The hamster's eye popped out. I will spare you the nauseating details. But let's just say there was a cup, some running and some falling involved. Ewwwwwww.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/412/arrrrr-matey http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/412/arrrrr-matey Thu, 22 Jul 2010 10:48:29 -0400 Ranted Imagine you are out for a night on the town. You are having the best hair night. Your cellulite has miraculously disappeared. Your favorite song is playing. The waiter is pouring your second glass of wine. Your dinner of filet[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/411/which-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/411/which-one Tue, 20 Jul 2010 23:33:01 -0400 Ranted Being a bird dog and all? He ate The Sparrow.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/410/the-shredder http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/410/the-shredder Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:33:16 -0400 Ranted This week's question was submitted by Karen Jasper. She wants to know: My son is twelve and he is asking to be able to have his own Facebook account. He has also asked for an email account. What age is the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/409/mondays-mother http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/409/mondays-mother Sun, 18 Jul 2010 23:57:13 -0400 Ranted This week a couple of hot-hot-hotties. Yes? Ashton Kutcher? Or? Dane Cook?  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/408/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/408/who-would-you-rather Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:40:05 -0400 Ranted Yesterday I was getting my hairs done and J was home with the kids. My cell rang and I looked down to see that it was Keenan. Getting my hair done here. No kids allowed. I sent it to voicemail. Seconds[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/407/emergency http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/407/emergency Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:28:17 -0400 Ranted *tap tap tap* Is this thing working?Yes? You can hear me?OK.I know it hasn't been the easiest couple of months. But. I have a few things I'd like to say in my defense. *clears throat*First. Yes. I have chewed up a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/406/clyde-speaks http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/406/clyde-speaks Tue, 13 Jul 2010 18:19:42 -0400 Ranted Last week I was getting some work done while Colton was watching television. “Mom,” he shouted excitedly. I looked up from my computer to see him rapidly approaching me, his face about to explode. “What is it?” I asked trying[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/405/tears-for-stains http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/405/tears-for-stains Mon, 12 Jul 2010 18:06:32 -0400 Ranted This week's monday's mother question was submitted by Theresa from RockOnMommies. It is a thought provoking question. Recently my husband and a colleague went to a strip joint after an evening meeting. I could care less if my husband looks at[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/404/mondays-mother http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/404/mondays-mother Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:56:50 -0400 Ranted This week it's funny men on the hot seat. Who would you rather? Ben Stiller Or. Jim Carrey? [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/403/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/403/who-would-you-rather Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:58:50 -0400 Ranted If you haven't read yesterday's post, do a quick glance. It will only take a second. I am not sure how I have pissed off the rodent Gods, but I most DEFINITELY have. This morning as I walked down to change[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/402/dude http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/402/dude Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:39:26 -0400 Ranted On Tuesday I took Colton to the toy store and he chose this. Keenan and Noah both had this same toy and I felt all nostalgic and happy. EVERY boy should catch bugs. It's a right of passage.Later that evening,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/401/reptiles-and-such http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/401/reptiles-and-such Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:50:28 -0400 Ranted My apologies to all of you who received LOTS of RSS feed notices in your inbox today from Ooph. Please feel free to blame it on my web designer. The greatest, most patient, tolerant, fantastic web designer that ever did[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/399/my-apologies http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/399/my-apologies Wed, 07 Jul 2010 00:50:18 -0400 Ranted This summer I will be running "Monday's Mother" every Monday morning. It is a question that one of you asks and then the rest of you answer. It can be about anything you want. Cooking, cleaning, the kids,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/394/mondays-mother-tuesday-edition http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/394/mondays-mother-tuesday-edition Mon, 05 Jul 2010 16:32:25 -0400 Ranted There is nothing more beautiful than boys in their element. No, not the bathroom. In nature. This photo montage puts a peaceful smile on my face. I love driving over this wooden bridge with the windows down and listening to each[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/392/boys-being-boys http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/392/boys-being-boys Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:43:39 -0400 Ranted Once a week, after Colton has gone to bed, the rest of us sit down to a late dinner and play a game while eating. This week we chose 20 Questions. It's kind of a reverse 20 questions from the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/391/he-said-come-hahahahaha http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/391/he-said-come-hahahahaha Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:33:22 -0400 Can You Relate? This summer I will be running "Monday's Mother" every Monday morning. It is a question that one of you asks and then the rest of you answer. It can be about anything you want. Cooking, cleaning, the kids, sex, whatever.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/390/mondays-mother http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/390/mondays-mother Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:07:06 -0400 Ranted This week who would you rather has been taken over by which. It's summer and we are all thinking about vacations, whether we get to take one or not. So I ask. If you were going on a family vacation[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/389/which-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/389/which-would-you-rather Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:13:43 -0400 Ranted My dear friend, Mary, over at Pajamas and Coffee and I have teamed up. In our never ending quest to bring you original content, we have decided to have some fun based on a childhood game. You remember the one.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/384/beth http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/384/beth Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:04:47 -0400 Ranted About five years ago, when Keenan was nine, he was still playing baseball.  He had practice twice a week and one or two games.  At least two times a week he would forget his glove.  Not an enormous problem for[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/388/crazy-for-the-glove http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/388/crazy-for-the-glove Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:30:17 -0400 Stefanie Says You may have heard about Oprah's little contest. You know that whole win your own talk show thing? If not, you have now. And? I want my own talk show. Here's what I have to say.Some mothers put on a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/387/my-own-show http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/387/my-own-show Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:00:40 -0400 Ranted Yesterday while I was on the phone, Colton decided he wanted a lemon. I reached over, grabbed a lemon, handed it to him and continued to talk. "Not just to look at," he said. "I want to get the juice[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/386/making-lemonade-out-of-lemons http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/386/making-lemonade-out-of-lemons Sun, 20 Jun 2010 23:44:56 -0400 Ranted It's who would you rather girl's night style. Imagine you are going out for a fun night on the town. You check your voicemail and you have a message from each of these fine ladies. DUDE. You are one popular[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/385/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/385/who-would-you-rather Fri, 18 Jun 2010 09:31:41 -0400 Ranted This Friday the Ooph June Newsletter will be hitting your inboxes. I am excited to announce that you will be seeing quite a change. In previous newsletters I have droned on and on about things I love, hate, eat or[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/383/newsletter-introductions-skydiving-and-red-ferraris http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/383/newsletter-introductions-skydiving-and-red-ferraris Wed, 16 Jun 2010 01:16:56 -0400 Ranted The other day I was at a popular pharmacy trying to get my son’s prescription filled. I stood at the counter for about four minutes while the pharmacist and the two others behind the counter chatted amongst themselves. They noticed[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/382/where-have-all-the-cowclerks-gone http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/382/where-have-all-the-cowclerks-gone Tue, 15 Jun 2010 11:22:09 -0400 Ranted We had all just sat down last night for the obligatory Sunday family dinner. By obligatory I mean I demand it and the kids whine because they would rather be with their friends. Every. Single. Sunday. The following conversation takes[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/380/sunday-dinner-pulp-fiction-style-or-i-have-lost-my-mind http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/380/sunday-dinner-pulp-fiction-style-or-i-have-lost-my-mind Mon, 14 Jun 2010 11:50:17 -0400 Ranted Last week was fun. I think Bender won out, but I am pretty sure some of you answered Bender knowing damn well that in high school you were dating the jock. This week we tackle the music industry. Two men who[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/379/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/379/who-would-you-rather Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:53:14 -0400 Ranted If you haven't read Chapter One, you should before you read Chapter Two. Makes sense. Right? The person lying next to Sara twitched and rolled over almost causing her to gasp out loud. Oh God, Sara thought as she lay there.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/378/hot-for-teacher-chapter-two http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/378/hot-for-teacher-chapter-two Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:40:41 -0400 Ranted I have been on ONE blind date. That was enough. About a year after my divorce one of the moms at Keenan's preschool approached me in her tennis skirt, pony tail bobbing and exclaimed with glee, "I have the PERFECT[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/377/blind-date http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/377/blind-date Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:55:48 -0400 Ranted This one will tell me a lot about all of you. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED The Breakfast Club as a teenager and now as an adult. LOVE. I just watched it with my teenage sons and was reminded of how[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/375/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/375/who-would-you-rather Thu, 03 Jun 2010 19:43:25 -0400 Ranted Last night I had a dream that I have had often over the last couple of years. J and I and one of our children (it's a different one every time) are trying to catch a train. We have missed[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/373/whats-your-dream http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/373/whats-your-dream Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:22:45 -0400 Ranted For the past week I have been hearing my kids complain that they need new lacrosse equipment. Yesterday, I finally found the time to go get everything. With Colton and Noah standing next to me, and several "cool" high school boys[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/372/youre-kidding-right http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/372/youre-kidding-right Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:51:46 -0400 Stefanie Says Thank you to all of the men and women whose bravery and daily sacrifice creates a better world for our children. You are the truest form of hero.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/371/memorial-day http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/371/memorial-day Mon, 31 May 2010 13:23:47 -0400 Ranted In my never ending quest to trip you up, I have gone down a different path this week. Instead of the usual young hotties, these men are a little more, ummm, seasoned. Also they are really, really, you know....famous. Without further[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/370/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/370/who-would-you-rather Fri, 28 May 2010 00:47:42 -0400 Ranted This week's who would you rather? is brought to you by @mamammaryshow (That's a Twitter thing for all of my non bloggie readers.) Check out her Glee loving, pop music singing, Justin Timberlake wanting, rap video making, two daughter having[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/365/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/365/who-would-you-rather Fri, 21 May 2010 09:27:48 -0400 Ranted I got an email this evening that said, Keenan posted something on your Wall. Dear GOD. I have died and gone to heaven. My teenage son has deemed me cool enough to write on my FACEBOOK wall. My hands were shaking.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/364/im-blind-im-blind http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/364/im-blind-im-blind Wed, 19 May 2010 22:56:01 -0400 Ranted By now most of you have read a letter to my future daughters in law. If not, before you read this, take the time. I pompously blabbed on and on about how my sons would not be taught to cook[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/363/i-bitch-slapped-myself http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/363/i-bitch-slapped-myself Tue, 18 May 2010 00:32:21 -0400 Ranted After a taking a week off, who would you rather is back to close out the week. In my constant quest to stump you (I clearly have not found that yet) I have chosen two unorthodox hollywood hotties. So let's[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/361/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/361/who-would-you-rather Fri, 14 May 2010 09:50:41 -0400 Ranted Figuratively and literally. Gone to the birds. I intended to sit down yesterday and the day before to write some witty story that would make you all chuckle and write comments about how I made your day or that I should[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/360/gone-to-the-birds http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/360/gone-to-the-birds Thu, 13 May 2010 00:47:48 -0400 Ranted Clyde is the GREATEST, SWEETEST, CUTEST, BESTEST puppy EVER. He slept through the night within the first week. He doesn't whine when we crate him at night. AND. The best part of all? He goes to the door already when[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/359/poochdate http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/359/poochdate Wed, 12 May 2010 11:38:15 -0400 Ranted About a month ago Colton dove head first into the whine and tears phase. Which has caused me to dive head first into the wine and tear my hair out phase. Every day begins with, “I don’t want to" (insert[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/358/not-loud-not-proud-but-effective http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/358/not-loud-not-proud-but-effective Mon, 10 May 2010 23:29:21 -0400 Stefanie Says When Noah was in the second grade he wrote a Mother's Day poem for me. He was so excited, he talked about it for weeks in advance. The Friday before Mother's Day as I made him breakfast, he couldn't stop[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/357/happy-mothers-day http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/357/happy-mothers-day Fri, 07 May 2010 01:19:59 -0400 Ranted I’ve learned some things over the years while raising boys. Ironically these things have helped me to better understand men and more specifically, my husband. So I thought I should share them with you to better help you understand your[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/356/boys-boys-boys http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/356/boys-boys-boys Thu, 06 May 2010 00:03:03 -0400 Stefanie Says When the dog bites, when the bee stings... I absolutely LOVE this room in our house. Someday when the teens move off to college I will have an office decorated just like this only with pale blue walls [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/355/these-are-a-few-of-my-favorite-things http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/355/these-are-a-few-of-my-favorite-things Wed, 05 May 2010 00:22:29 -0400 Ranted My dad thinks JJ hangs the moon and stars.  I have this vision of him saying his prayers every night, “Dear God, thank you for beer, wine in a box, my son-in-law and everything else.”His love for my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/351/ewwwwww http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/351/ewwwwww Tue, 04 May 2010 01:19:05 -0400 Ranted Please forgive me for not posting something original today. I spent my weekend in Pheonix with some FABULOUS bloggers, learning, laughing and having more fun than should be legal packed into two short days. I have lost more brain cells[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/284/the-day-i-wanted-to-be-a-vodka-drinking-trash-collector http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/284/the-day-i-wanted-to-be-a-vodka-drinking-trash-collector Mon, 03 May 2010 12:00:00 -0400 Stefanie Says This week a couple of HOT-TIES. And. Again I am torn. The sexy tattooed bad guy or the hot guy next door that will pick up the pieces when the sexy tattooed guy rips your heart out of your chest[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/350/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/350/who-would-you-rather Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:18:26 -0400 Ranted I recently found out that a teacher who said something to me so profound, something I had never heard in my life, something that forever altered the way I would think about myself, was retiring. I was given an address[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/349/hug-a-teacher http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/349/hug-a-teacher Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:18:25 -0400 Ranted I love the neighborhood where I am blessed to live. It is quite simply beautiful. Often I think to myself I need to take my camera and photograph some of the beauty that makes my insanity sane. This weekend I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/348/grateful-to-be-here http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/348/grateful-to-be-here Wed, 28 Apr 2010 00:52:28 -0400 Ranted The other night I was at a little get together and a friend of mine told me about a post I needed to write. I get that a lot. You should write this or that. I had a couple of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/347/words-to-live-by http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/347/words-to-live-by Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:24:27 -0400 Ranted Clyde. Yes, my dad won. Clyde it is. Actually, my dad, J, Keenan, Noah, Colton and several of you readers won. Otis is out. I was a little upset at first, but within seconds of him being home, he was[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/346/introducing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/346/introducing Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:24:40 -0400 Ranted Today a twist. Transport yourself back into the days of elegance and martinis. An evening of dancing and laughter. Handsome men dressed in suits. Long cigarettes hanging from dainty fingers. Who would you like sitting at your table? The beautiful and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/345/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/345/who-would-you-rather Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:13:34 -0400 Ranted Yesterday I flipped on the television and found myself completely engrossed in The Martha Stewart Show. Minutes in and horrified that I was watching The Martha Stewart Show, I went to change the channel. But. Then this girl came on[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/344/martha-f-stewart http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/344/martha-f-stewart Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:15:03 -0400 Ranted This Sunday the newest member of the Mullen clan will be coming home. I am excited and petrified all at once. What am I thinking? I just got my littlest one to sleep through the night (most of the time)[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/343/sweet-baby-blue http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/343/sweet-baby-blue Wed, 21 Apr 2010 02:20:56 -0400 Ranted It is just my opinion, but grocery store etiquette is at an all time low. It is truly beyond me why this post even needs to be written. Have we not been doing this for decades? But. Based on my daily[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/342/grocery-store-etiquette-rated-p-for-profanity http://www.ooph.com/topics/stefanie-says/342/grocery-store-etiquette-rated-p-for-profanity Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:26:33 -0400 Stefanie Says Yesterday the whole family was lying out in the backyard enjoying a beautiful spring day when the following conversation took place.Noah: We should put in a pool. (Yes. Because money grows on trees. And. You are so welcome we put[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/341/why-didnt-i-think-of-that http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/341/why-didnt-i-think-of-that Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:54:55 -0400 Ranted When a group of us get together and are sitting around late in the evening with our cocktails, we play a game. It’s called “would you rather.” The premise is that someone offers up two celebrities[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/340/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/340/who-would-you-rather Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:42:56 -0400 Ranted The first annual KidsFest will take place here in San Diego, Saturday and Sunday, May 1 - 2, 2010. Robin and Tina over at KidsFest have graciously offered a booth to several of us San Diego bloggers. We collectively decided[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/339/for-my-local-possehelp-me-help-a-mama-out http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/339/for-my-local-possehelp-me-help-a-mama-out Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:50:43 -0400 Ranted Five years ago, just before Christmas, Keenan, Noah and I attended Noah’s soccer Christmas party. We said our goodbyes and headed through the dark parking lot towards our car. As we strapped in the boys were bickering about the gift[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/338/would-you-know-what-to-do http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/338/would-you-know-what-to-do Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:40:08 -0400 Ranted Nothing says it's time to shove my white ass into a bathing suit like the beautiful colors of Spring.  What does Spring say to you?  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/337/spring-has-sprung http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/337/spring-has-sprung Wed, 14 Apr 2010 02:11:32 -0400 Ranted The first night we were in Mammoth it DUMPED snow. Ten inches where we were staying and two feet on the mountain. It was incredible. Until. We awoke to the snow plow. He started at just before five o’clock and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/336/an-over-use-of-is-and-an-under-use-of-school http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/336/an-over-use-of-is-and-an-under-use-of-school Tue, 13 Apr 2010 11:04:32 -0400 Ranted That's right. I am a homemade snowman kind of gal. Not a Martha Stewart Snowman Kit purchasing kind of gal. I chopped up an apple for the ears, nose, eyes and mouth because I am just that good. Also because[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/333/would-the-real-chill-shady-please-stand-up http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/333/would-the-real-chill-shady-please-stand-up Fri, 09 Apr 2010 09:39:17 -0400 Ranted We built a snowman while in Mammoth because if you take your kids to the snow and don't build a snowman with them, you suck. So here is the question. Which snowman is ours? This one? Or this one? Choose carefully and be[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/332/how-well-do-you-know-me http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/332/how-well-do-you-know-me Thu, 08 Apr 2010 13:50:23 -0400 Ranted We are on a family vacation this week. Unbelievably all three of my kids' schools scheduled their Spring Break the exact same week. So. Because we live our lives in the never changing weather of San Diego and because my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/330/it-just-doesnt-get-better-than-this http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/330/it-just-doesnt-get-better-than-this Tue, 06 Apr 2010 13:27:43 -0400 Ranted We, the entire family, are on vacation in the mountains. I am working on a post of our drive but due to some unforeseen challenges, two feet of snow, J's over inflated view of his tire chain application abilities, shoveling[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/331/on-vacation http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/331/on-vacation Mon, 05 Apr 2010 13:50:54 -0400 Ranted This post is from June of last year, the same month Ooph went live. About a month ago an odor began in my pantry. It started out very faint and blended well with the other odors that reside in this house[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/329/if-it-smells-like-a-rat http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/329/if-it-smells-like-a-rat Fri, 02 Apr 2010 10:25:38 -0400 Ranted When a group of us get together and are sitting around late in the evening with our cocktails, we play a game. It’s called “would you rather.” The premise is that someone offers up two celebrities and you[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/328/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/328/who-would-you-rather Thu, 01 Apr 2010 10:18:07 -0400 Ranted Colton is in the 97th percentile for his height and 92nd percentile for his weight. He is a big kid. Which is really great because it is cool to be tall. Not so great because people assume there is something[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/327/right-back-atcha http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/327/right-back-atcha Wed, 31 Mar 2010 11:41:09 -0400 Ranted After all the soap box standing I did last week (here and here) I am sick of hearing myself write. So today. It's your turn. Don't worry. It doesn't require much. Just a simple question to answer.  What would your last[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/326/mindless-monday http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/326/mindless-monday Mon, 29 Mar 2010 10:33:54 -0400 Ranted “...I just want to be myself and go to the prom that I was supposed to have since I've known what prom was.” Constance McMillenI have wanted to write about Constance McMillen, since her story began to filter into mainstream[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/325/grace-love-and-understanding http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/325/grace-love-and-understanding Thu, 25 Mar 2010 01:52:52 -0400 Ranted I was sick of feeling like we lived in a frat house with a television on the wall and a Wii on the ground and wires hanging down. So. I told J to get busy and make a piece that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/324/what-is-j-making-now http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/324/what-is-j-making-now Wed, 24 Mar 2010 10:33:32 -0400 Ranted "I wanted other people to understand, before they do it, how much it hurts." Cynthia Shackelford.If you don’t know the name Cynthia Shackleford, let me enlighten you. Cynthia is the soon to be ex-wife of Allan Shackelford. Allan is the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/323/its-just-my-opinion http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/323/its-just-my-opinion Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:01:59 -0400 Ranted In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste" photo. You, my VERY witty and clever readers, will come up with captions for the photo as if they were being[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/322/in-bad-taste-eight http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/322/in-bad-taste-eight Mon, 22 Mar 2010 09:54:18 -0400 Ranted What my husband has been building. (Hint: See photo above.)it's just my opinion: For my first act I will be letting you know what I think of the jury awarding nine million dollars to a North Carolina woman from her[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/321/coming-next-week-march-twenty-two-ten http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/321/coming-next-week-march-twenty-two-ten Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:11:11 -0400 Ranted We got to visit our little unnamed pile of sweetness this week. OMG. He was so sweet I could barely stand leaving him. After meeting him, we have narrowed the list of names. Which ones do you love the most?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/320/name-that-dog-the-finalists http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/320/name-that-dog-the-finalists Fri, 19 Mar 2010 10:29:18 -0400 Ranted There are some oophtastic changes going on around here and I, for one, am excited. If the thought that just popped into your mind was, who cares, this would probably be a good time to exit. The best part of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/319/change-has-come http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/319/change-has-come Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:50:27 -0400 Ranted I awoke last week, rounded the corner to face ANOTHER rainy day here in southern California and came face to face with this. Is there anything more beautiful than a rainbow? They always make me think of new beginnings. Speaking of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/317/beauty-in-my-backyard http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/317/beauty-in-my-backyard Tue, 16 Mar 2010 10:11:44 -0400 Ranted I checked the boys out of camp and loaded them into the car. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I made a left instead of the usual right.Keenan asked, “Where are we going?” “We have to go to the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/315/my-eight-year-old-convict-the-conclusion http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/315/my-eight-year-old-convict-the-conclusion Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:55:47 -0400 Can You Relate? In case you missed it. Read this first. Part One. The voice answered, “Encinitas Police Department. Non emergency line.”“Um. Hi,” I stuttered. “I know this is going to sound really stupid and I am so sorry to waste your time, because[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/314/my-eight-year-old-convict-part-deux http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/314/my-eight-year-old-convict-part-deux Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:44:47 -0500 Can You Relate? During the summer of Keenan’s eighth year of life I sent him to summer camp. The second week of camp as we were eating dinner, he casually said, “Mom I need twenty dollars for tomorrow.”Confused and wondering why the camp[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/313/my-eight-year-old-convict http://www.ooph.com/topics/can-you-relate/313/my-eight-year-old-convict Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:21:40 -0500 Can You Relate? Isn't she cute? It's a good thing. There is something so special about waking up to a pile of puke in the middle of the living room that Daisy has left for me. Last week her puke contained a plastic bad,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/312/name-that-dog http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/312/name-that-dog Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:57:09 -0500 Ranted I am doing a segment this morning with some other mom bloggers on Fox News. So here is an oldie but goodie. On Saturday I was trying to convince Noah to get outside and practice lacrosse.  He had tryouts on Sunday,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/220/that-didnt-come-out-right http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/220/that-didnt-come-out-right Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:13:16 -0500 Ranted Keenan: You need to lighten up.Me: If by lighten up you mean pounds, that’s insulting. Keenan: (eye roll) You know I mean that you need to lighten up more. Live a little and quit being so overprotective. Me: I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/311/living-life-on-the-edge http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/311/living-life-on-the-edge Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:35:07 -0500 Ranted Ooph has been nominated for an AWARD. (Because someone has lost their mind.)I found out about the nomination right after I arrived home from the grocery store at one o’clock in the afternoon still wearing my pajama top under my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/309/an-award http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/309/an-award Sat, 06 Mar 2010 10:19:51 -0500 Ranted When a group of us get together and are sitting around late in the evening with our cocktails, we play a game. It’s called “would you rather.” The premise is that someone offers up two celebrities and you have to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/310/who-would-you-rather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/310/who-would-you-rather Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:16:52 -0500 Ranted THIS is my greatest accomplishment in 2010. Is that sad? Before: And you should know it looked like this for about a year.   After: OH GOD. I've turned into my grandmother.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/308/a-hot-mess http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/308/a-hot-mess Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:52:04 -0500 Ranted Rated R. Not kidding. I throw more f-bombs in this post than I did in all three of my labors combined. So, if that offends you, you might want to skip this one. Random shit started here. Quitting smoking is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/307/random-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/307/random-shit Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:34:50 -0500 Ranted I know. I promised you random crap this morning. I meant to finish it up on Sunday and have it posted for this morning, but my fabulous husband had other plans. Yesterday, my 39th birthday, the first day of the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/306/that-doesnt-suck http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/306/that-doesnt-suck Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:01:25 -0500 Ranted I turn 39 this Sunday and I have to admit I have turned into one of “those” women. I am focused on every wrinkle. I am pissed at how hard I have to work to keep my body from being[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/305/random-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/305/random-shit Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:09:52 -0500 Ranted Last night I put Colton down and J and I settled in with the older boys for our nightly Wii tournament. Where I lose BIG TIME and say things like “fo shizzay” and “If you make fun of me one[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/304/rated-crassbut-dont-blame-me http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/304/rated-crassbut-dont-blame-me Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:31:26 -0500 Ranted J and I came up with the concept for Twitter. No really, we did. Well to be fair it was more of a combination between Yelp and Twitter. So I guess we also came up with Yelp. We purchased the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/303/funny-little-dream-killers http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/303/funny-little-dream-killers Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:22:40 -0500 Ranted In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste" photo. You, my VERY witty and clever readers, will come up with captions for the photo as if they were being written on[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/286/in-bad-taste-seven http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/286/in-bad-taste-seven Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:59:49 -0500 Ranted Hi my name is Stefanie and I have a problem. Actually I have a lot of problems, but the one I am discussing today is the sound of people eating. If I am being honest, I don’t really think it’s[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/302/close-your-mouth http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/302/close-your-mouth Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:31:34 -0500 Ranted This is one of my favorite pieces. A few years back J and I were trying to find a pot rack for our kitchen.  Every piece we came across felt like something we had already seen in someone else's home[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/301/one-of-my-faves http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/301/one-of-my-faves Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:57:04 -0500 Ranted This past Sunday I ran my very first half marathon. I started training about three months ago and never once mentioned it here on Ooph because I was pretty sure like many other great ideas I have had in my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/300/tears-of-joy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/300/tears-of-joy Wed, 17 Feb 2010 10:58:04 -0500 Ranted Friday night I joined up with some new Blogger friends at Intimacy to meet with the Bra Whisperer. Shhh....If you are really quiet you can hear her say, “Why are you shoving your boobs into that tiny little cup size?”[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/299/intimacy-ooph-approved http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/299/intimacy-ooph-approved Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:46:51 -0500 Ranted In a couple of months this field will be head high and so yellow it's blinding. I drive by all of November, December and January and long for these beautiful yellow flowers. Over the last couple of weeks the field[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/298/signs-of-spring http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/298/signs-of-spring Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:26:29 -0500 Ranted Sara’s head was throbbing and her mouth was so dry it felt like someone had used a leaf blower to clean it out. She was desperate for some ibuprofen and water but was afraid if she moved, even a millimeter,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/297/its-your-story-hot-for-teacher-part-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/297/its-your-story-hot-for-teacher-part-one Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:18:58 -0500 Ranted Can anyone guess what is wrong with this picture? Hint: What goes in the box?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/296/why-i-beat-my-head-against-the-walldaily http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/296/why-i-beat-my-head-against-the-walldaily Thu, 11 Feb 2010 10:12:42 -0500 Ranted This morning J took Colton to school.  I asked him to please check the list to see what I had volunteered to bring on Friday for the Valentine’s Day party.  He called me from the school as I was peacefully[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/295/someone-needs-a-time-out http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/295/someone-needs-a-time-out Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:56:07 -0500 Ranted I was watching the Superbowl on Sunday and thinking how cool it was that these guys get to go to work with a bazillion fans cheering them on and I started to wonder. What would my life be like if[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/294/seeking-an-ambassador-of-appreciation http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/294/seeking-an-ambassador-of-appreciation Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:21:19 -0500 Ranted Every February I turn a year older and in celebration, I get a facial. Yesterday was the big day. I scheduled the treatment a month ago and have been looking forward to it like a kid on Christmas morning that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/293/rejuve-a-what http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/293/rejuve-a-what Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:58:09 -0500 Ranted If you aren't already signed up for the ooph newsletter, sign up on the left side of the page.  Also. Please shoot me an email and give me some suggestions. What would you like to see in the newsletter? Do[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/292/ooph-newsletter http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/292/ooph-newsletter Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:00:52 -0500 Ranted Before I get on to my business of writing, I want to say a big fat THANK YOU to all of the readers who have stopped by from the New York Times. Thanks for slummin' it over here at Ooph.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/291/its-your-story http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/291/its-your-story Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:33:21 -0500 Ranted The only way you will get me on an airplane is by dangling a bottle of vodka in front of me. Grey Goose makes me move faster than Smirnoff, but I am not picky.  I have at least two or[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/290/flying-the-friendly-hiccup-skies http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/290/flying-the-friendly-hiccup-skies Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:20:51 -0500 Ranted About two weeks ago my blogger pal Shannon over at Show Me The Mom sent me an email saying she had referred me to a writer at the New York Times. They were looking for mothers of teens and tweens[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/289/ooph-in-the-new-york-times http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/289/ooph-in-the-new-york-times Sat, 30 Jan 2010 10:30:11 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I was driving Colton and his friend to school. The two of them were in the backseat discussing Colton’s new Thomas the Train rain boots. “Oh they are so cool,” his friend said. “Thanks,” Colton replied. “They’re just like[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/288/always-sometimes http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/288/always-sometimes Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:19:12 -0500 Ranted   Inside the card: Although the neighbours were friendly, Tarzan just didn't fit into Jane's world. Outside the card: We will miss you.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/285/week-six-winner http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/285/week-six-winner Mon, 25 Jan 2010 10:43:51 -0500 Ranted Keenan lost his xbox privileges this weekend because he failed to turn in several Spanish assignments last week. He did them all.  I know because I took the time to check them. Then he got to class and made the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/283/no-means-nounless http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/283/no-means-nounless Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:26:53 -0500 Ranted In the process of remodeling our house I came across a photo of rain chains. Instead of the traditional downspouts coming off of your gutters, you use these beautiful chains and the water runs down them.  I couldn't WAIT to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/282/actual-weather http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/282/actual-weather Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:37:28 -0500 Ranted The most under appreciated member of our family is this sweet dog. Look at her face.  That line up the middle of her nose just makes me want to squeeze her up. I have intentionally left out her body in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/280/daisy-girl http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/280/daisy-girl Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:50:54 -0500 Ranted My Christmas present to J was a trip to the National Championship game to see his coveted Longorns play.  I had the tickets for weeks and keeping the secret from him was about as easy as Keenan getting through a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/276/the-longhorns-stole-my-dreams http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/276/the-longhorns-stole-my-dreams Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:29:07 -0500 Ranted Yesterday Colton was eating a chocolate covered graham cracker. He finished and had chocolate all over his hands.  I asked if he would like a wet wipe and he replied, "No. I will just lick it off."Then.  He stared at[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/275/hook-em-horns http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/275/hook-em-horns Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:28:21 -0500 Ranted Keenan’s big gift this year for Christmas was a bust. The gift you ask? A specialty headset for his Xbox. The kind that blocks out all the noise of your family and makes the game so loud you’re guaranteed to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/274/the-hangover http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/274/the-hangover Wed, 06 Jan 2010 11:37:50 -0500 Ranted And the winning caption is... The outside wil read: I've gotta feelin'. That tonight's gonna be a good night. The inside will read: Mazel Tov! Thanks Heather.  Good one!  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/272/in-bad-taste-week-three-winner http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/272/in-bad-taste-week-three-winner Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:41:50 -0500 Ranted The sky is on fire. I woke up this morning, looked outside and thought, "How nice of Mother Nature to provide a sky filled with fire and passion to remind me that all I want to achieve this year is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/271/theres-fire-burnin-in-the-sky http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/271/theres-fire-burnin-in-the-sky Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:10:57 -0500 Ranted I do not know where this originated.  If I did I would surely give credit where it is due.  My dad sent this via email today and while I am not supposed to be on my website this week because[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/270/why-parents-drink http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/270/why-parents-drink Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:12:03 -0500 Ranted My Uncle Larry passed away this past weekend of a heart attack. It was his fourth. He was a heavy smoker, his diet NOT GOOD and his weight an issue. I am sure he was judged by that. Which makes[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/119/on-being-whiskey-tango http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/119/on-being-whiskey-tango Wed, 30 Dec 2009 12:59:23 -0500 Ranted I did a crapload of Christmas shopping today and had to use the public restroom on several occasions.  Having experienced the same INSANE ANNOYANCE at certain RUDE ASS women, I have decided to repost this rather un-holiday-cheerlike post. If I have[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/52/clean-up-after-yourself http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/52/clean-up-after-yourself Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:27:41 -0500 Ranted Repost from July. I am an extremely competitive person.  Often to a fault. I have tried to work on it, but I always come back to this. “What in GOD'S NAME is wrong with wanting to win?” Who in their right[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/120/the-apple-doesnt-fall-far http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/120/the-apple-doesnt-fall-far Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:22:53 -0500 Ranted A Christmas serenade just for you. *clears throat.* Testing, testing.  Can everyone hear me? *sips water* I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for ChristmasMy kids and Hubby are mad.I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas‘Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.I text my son “How horny[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/269/a-christmas-serenade http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/269/a-christmas-serenade Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:01:50 -0500 Ranted All of my girlfriends have daughters.  Not tomboy, tree climbing, dirt eating tomboy girls like I was.  They are all princess dressing, pink loving, barbie wanting, shoe loving girls. Much to J's chagrin, Colton has taken a liking to their[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/268/yo-yo-yo http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/268/yo-yo-yo Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:29:12 -0500 Ranted What is a typical day in the car for me you ask?  Why, it's all of us gleefully singing camp songs of years gone by and regaling each other with stories of our day. Everyone sits quietly and listens because[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/266/are-we-there-yet http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/266/are-we-there-yet Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:15:36 -0500 Ranted Read Black Friday part one here first. I ripped into my parking space at about 35 miles per hour, tires screeching, grabbed a shopping cart from the bin, thinking there was NO WAY there would be any available inside and I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/265/black-friday-the-conclusion http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/265/black-friday-the-conclusion Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:22:17 -0500 Ranted I miss the changing skies of back home and that old joke, "If you don't like the weather in Indiana, wait five minutes." The weather doesn't change much in San Diego and I AM NOT COMPLAINING so don't send me your[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/264/stormy-sky-sort-of http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/264/stormy-sky-sort-of Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:01:50 -0500 Ranted I know, I know.  Another photo of the sky.  Look at the logo dudes.  I love the clouds.  As a child, I would lie on my back and stare up at the moving sky and dream of better days.  Those[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/263/another-cotton-candy-morning http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/263/another-cotton-candy-morning Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:58:33 -0500 Ranted How about this doozy? I don't really need to say much I suppose.  Wood paneling, alcohol and a dead fish.  Have at it girls. In case you missed it.  Every week on Ooph I am going to post a "bad taste"[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/262/in-bad-taste-week-four http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/262/in-bad-taste-week-four Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:00:14 -0500 Ranted Yesterday we had a fabulous winter storm blow through California.  The rain came pouring down and the wind blew so hard at times I expected to see Toto come flying by my head. I love the way the sky looks just[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/260/after-the-storm http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/260/after-the-storm Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:24:36 -0500 Ranted Last night after an exhausting day of lacrosse, I was sitting with Noah in his room recapping his game. I am not sure if you know this, but I am SO COOL it’s ridiculous.  For some reason my children need[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/259/oh-snap http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/259/oh-snap Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:29:02 -0500 Ranted Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life. Yiddish Proverb[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/258/quippy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/258/quippy Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:06:38 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I dropped Colton off in the daycare at the gym and went for a workout. I picked him up about five minutes later (KIDDING, it was ten minutes) and we went to CPK (OUR FAVE) for lunch.  We were[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/257/tell-me-sweet-little-lies http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/257/tell-me-sweet-little-lies Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:32:22 -0500 Ranted Thanksgiving morning J and I were looking through the 482 pages of ads that arrived with our morning paper when we spotted the grand daddy of all gifts for one of our children and the discount was INCREDIBLE. I will[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/256/black-friday http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/256/black-friday Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:14:25 -0500 Ranted “I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.” Thomas Campbell Clark[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/255/quippy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/255/quippy Tue, 01 Dec 2009 10:37:16 -0500 Ranted Week three and I love this one.  The look on my great grandmother's face is priceless and I SO WISH I knew what the person taking the photo said to make everyone laugh this hard.  Or perhaps it was my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/254/in-bad-taste-week-three http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/254/in-bad-taste-week-three Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:08:27 -0500 Ranted And the winner is.... The outside of the card will read:  Whew dear.  Check your pants after that one. The inside of the card will read: Cheer up.  This crap will be over soon.   Thanks Liz.  Highlarious. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/253/in-bad-taste-week-two http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/253/in-bad-taste-week-two Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:10:40 -0500 Ranted Each year at Thanksgiving we do our Christmas card photo.  This picture was snapped about halfway through the process. Can anyone guess what I am thinking?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/252/happy-thanksgiving http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/252/happy-thanksgiving Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:53:03 -0500 Ranted About five years ago, when Keenan was nine, he was still playing baseball.  He had practice twice a week and one or two games.  At least two times a week he would forget his glove.  Not an enormous problem for[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/116/crazy-for-the-glove http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/116/crazy-for-the-glove Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500 Ranted I am not one of those people who wakes up vomiting gratitude every day.  I wish I was, but I’m not AND I am a little busy right now just trying to wake up with a smile.  Instead, I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/251/more-thankfulness http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/251/more-thankfulness Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:39:30 -0500 Ranted On Saturday evening I was sitting with a girlfriend of mine in a hotel watching The Hangover.  I sent a text to J saying that I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.  Only, instead of texting my husband,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/250/holiday-cheer http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/250/holiday-cheer Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:25:55 -0500 Ranted "Folks who have no vices have very few virtues."        Abe Lincoln[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/249/quippy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/249/quippy Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:06:29 -0500 Ranted Ok gals.  Week two of in bad taste is underway. Last weeks winner was a good one.  What will you have for me this week? Sorry the photo is so small, if I try to make it larger, you loose[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/248/in-bad-taste-week-two http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/248/in-bad-taste-week-two Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:39:39 -0500 Ranted This picture captures Colton's goofy little personlity perfectly. He melts me.  I looked at this picture this morning and thought to myself, "Someday soon he too will smell like a walking Axe commercial."  The time just flies by.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/239/four-eyes http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/239/four-eyes Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:29:02 -0500 Ranted Someone get my ass a drumroll because I've got me a winner: The outside of the card will read: If I keep giving these ladies tequila I'll be joining the mile high club. The inside of the card will read: Congratulations on this exciting[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/238/in-bad-taste http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/238/in-bad-taste Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:12:58 -0500 Ranted Keenan tends to be a little cranky in the morning. And NO it isn’t just because he is a teenager, it’s always been this way.  I sadly passed another one of my horrible traits on to that kid. Yet another[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/237/good-morning-sunshine http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/237/good-morning-sunshine Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:19:31 -0500 Ranted Yesterday we took Colton and went to our favorite little breakfast spot.  To entertain him we brought along the Toys R Us section from the paper.  While we waited for our food, he carefully studied each page and after much[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/236/sometimes-they-just-force-you-to-be-evil http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/236/sometimes-they-just-force-you-to-be-evil Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:58:15 -0500 Ranted "I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle." Erma Bombeck[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/235/quippy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/235/quippy Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:54:24 -0500 Ranted I have a box of old photos that I go rummaging through when I need a smile.  They aren’t of my children.  They are photos of my grandmother and her parents.  The photos represent all that she was.  I especailly[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/234/in-bad-taste http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/234/in-bad-taste Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:03:23 -0500 Ranted OH. I get it.  THIS is what happens when you take away their technology.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/233/brotherly-love http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/233/brotherly-love Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:26:31 -0500 Ranted I debated.  Do I put this lovely photo of the morning sun rising on Ooph today or a photo of me flipping the bird at the time change that happened two weeks ago and completely screwed my morning slumber.  Knowing[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/232/bitchier-than-usual http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/232/bitchier-than-usual Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:21:47 -0500 Ranted Last night J, Colt and I were sitting upstairs watching a college football game and it occrred to me that Keenan was downstairs and it would be really nice if he joined the rest of the family for a bit. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/231/the-beauty-of-family-time http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/231/the-beauty-of-family-time Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:47:09 -0500 Ranted I woke up this morning with the intention of writing a post of gratitude. A giant thank you to the men and women who serve this country and allow me the freedom of hugging my children daily, being angry at[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/229/gratitude http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/229/gratitude Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:51:00 -0500 Ranted The much anticipated first ever monthly Ooph Newsletter went out today.  If you didn't sign up, why the heck not? It isn't too late.  Just mosey on over to the left side of the page and enter your email address.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/228/the-newsletter-is-now-out http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/228/the-newsletter-is-now-out Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:45:35 -0500 Ranted Please read with the same sing songy tone you use while reading If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. A hallucinogenic drug or perhaps a good fever wouldn't hurt either. If you pick your kid up from school and his tooth[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/227/if-you-give-a-kid-a-root-canal http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/227/if-you-give-a-kid-a-root-canal Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:40:15 -0500 Ranted Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Author Unknown[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/226/quippy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/226/quippy Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:44:17 -0500 Ranted Yesterday I was in the pediatrician’s office.  AGAIN.  Though Noah’s H1N1 fever finally broke on Wednesday, he had suddenly developed a rash from head to toe which caused all my panic buttons to start ringing and my wheel to start[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/225/martinis-and-periods http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/225/martinis-and-periods Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:34:35 -0500 Ranted It has been one hell of a week here at the Mullens.  Cough, oink, whine, vodka.  Cough, oink, whine, vodka.  It is my motto that when times are tough, there is but one thing to do after you pour a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/224/laughter-is-the-best-medicine http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/224/laughter-is-the-best-medicine Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:26:56 -0500 Ranted I do this thing where I diagnose myself with a disease about, oh, EVERY TEN MINUTES.  If I feel the slightest amount of pain in my head, I go straight to visions of me in the hospital and my family[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/221/spin-the-wheel http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/221/spin-the-wheel Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:09:09 -0500 Ranted Happy Halloween from June and Ward Cleaver.  ps. The bizarre cowboy hat behind us is what happens when you hand the camera over to your kids.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/219/happy-halloween http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/219/happy-halloween Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:52:19 -0400 Ranted Noah's room. Yesterday if you had gone to google and typed in filthy bedrooms like the person did below, my site would have come up in the top five. AS IF. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/218/filthy-bedrooms http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/218/filthy-bedrooms Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:04:31 -0400 Ranted Something amazing happens to the smell of a boy between his eighth grade and freshman year.  Apparently high school girls don't tolerate the smell of three day old sweaty pits. GOD BLESS you high school girls.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/217/airing-it-out http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/217/airing-it-out Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:07:27 -0400 Ranted In case you missed it, part one. As it turned out, J knew that his friend and I had stopped dating.  It was evident from the time he arrived at the beach. He walked over and gave me a hug. A[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/216/part-two http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/216/part-two Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:29:19 -0400 Ranted My girlfriend has a daughter who will be five in December.  She is a petite, spunky, curly haired blonde with gorgeous blue eyes.  I call her Sinatra because of those eyes. I laugh often and hard at the things that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/215/a-good-girl-never-intends-to-lie http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/215/a-good-girl-never-intends-to-lie Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:31:19 -0400 Ranted I was paid the highest compliment I could ever hope to receive, which is really sad, because at 38, what do I have to look forward to? A new reader to my site sent me this ...”You are a very[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/214/being-bombeckish http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/214/being-bombeckish Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:25:40 -0400 Ranted Colt has seemed sick for about three weeks.  By "seemed" I mean that he has not had any true symptoms. He has just looked sick and been more tired than usual.  He was home from school all last week and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/212/an-overuse-of-finally http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/212/an-overuse-of-finally Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:01:31 -0400 Ranted I love the golden color of sunsets this time of year.  It makes me think of hay bales and pumpkins and football season and yummy pots of soup. Or it could just be that it signals the time of day[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/211/evening-sun http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/211/evening-sun Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:50:12 -0400 Ranted I don't know how to be any clearer about it.  This is SO my house. I don't care what you people say.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/210/this-is-ridiculous http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/210/this-is-ridiculous Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:46:53 -0400 Ranted We all had a friend in high school that got caught at everything they did.  You would be at a party and look up and their was her father searching the crowd for her.  You would sneak out and she[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/209/never-put-it-in-writing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/209/never-put-it-in-writing Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:46:56 -0400 Ranted My dad sent this photo to me last night.  He took it while J and I were enjoying ourselves (unsuspectingly) in the desert. Suddenly the missing pieces of my childhood make sense. I sent my dad an email that said, "What in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/207/the-frankenstein-chronicles http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/207/the-frankenstein-chronicles Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:42:29 -0400 Ranted The reason my dad came out was so that he could visit with his son-in-law (and as an after thought, the kids and I too).  Also so that J and I could go away for a couple of days and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/206/five-years-and-celebrating http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/206/five-years-and-celebrating Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:38:18 -0400 Ranted This is how our boys earn their cell phones.  One mows the front lawn and the other, the back.  They do it happily every week and we never have to ask.  Right.  And my ass still looks like it did[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/205/the-source-of-weekly-eye-rolls http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/205/the-source-of-weekly-eye-rolls Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:31:23 -0400 Ranted So, I am sure you can tell by this photo what it is J has been building.  It is still a work in progress, but almost there.  Next up?  It better be a place next to my front door to hang[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/204/day-six-and-with-lots-of-help-from-dad http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/204/day-six-and-with-lots-of-help-from-dad Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:25:15 -0400 Ranted I have been trying to write this post for well over a week.  I am sure you have noticed that I haven’t posted much of anything along the lines of real writing in quite some time.  Today I realized that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/203/in-sadness-and-hope http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/203/in-sadness-and-hope Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:49:57 -0400 Ranted Hey Bumper, you want to buy tickets to the gun show?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/202/flexing http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/202/flexing Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:46:30 -0400 Ranted Daisy:  Excuse me but I have been with this family for over six years and what have you ever built for me?  This bratty little snot nosed kid shows up, sits on my head, throws crap at me all day[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/201/youve-gotta-be-kidding-me http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/201/youve-gotta-be-kidding-me Thu, 08 Oct 2009 09:42:01 -0400 Ranted Here is the third day of work on the mystery project. Any guesses now?  The first person to guess correctly and with detail will win one of these bags that I LOVE.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/200/day-three-two-weeks-later http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/200/day-three-two-weeks-later Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:52:59 -0400 Ranted I posted a while back about how when my dad comes out here to visit, my husband somehow gets him all excited to do work around our house.  My dad has arrived for his yearly visit and J wasted no[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/199/dads-here http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/199/dads-here Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:47:55 -0400 Ranted To celebrate our five year wedding anniversary, my husband headed south of the border for a boy's trip. Literally.  He woke up at 6 a.m. and sprinted for his truck with a bottle of tequila in one hand, his backpack[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/197/in-need-of-a-boys-trip-myself http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/197/in-need-of-a-boys-trip-myself Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:27:10 -0400 Ranted There are two ways you can tell Colton and I made cupcakes.  The first is by looking at his face.  The second my thighs.  Notice I didn't include a photo of the second?  You're welcome.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/196/cupcake-love http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/196/cupcake-love Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:52:47 -0400 Ranted I am overwhelmed with parenting and sporting events and back to school coffees and the twelve emails a day reminding me that I need do something for an event that I volunteered for, etc.  You know it’s bad when you[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/195/someone-stop-the-teacups http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/195/someone-stop-the-teacups Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:31:17 -0400 Ranted About a year ago I saw this necklace on a friend and mentioned to my husband that I would love to have one. Then I forgot all about it.  Apparently he didn't because on Friday before we left for our[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/194/he-loves-me-he-really-really-loves-me http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/194/he-loves-me-he-really-really-loves-me Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:26:02 -0400 Ranted This morning I am working on a post that I should have ready this afternoon regarding why my world is spinning.  As I am typing away Colton is watching Sesame Street.  Parenting 101. He just walked over to me and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/193/hang-ten http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/193/hang-ten Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:57:06 -0400 Ranted I could hear Colton screaming from outside, "It's going to hit the moon, it's going to hit the moon." I went rushing outside to find this. I know, I know, another balloon photo.  But I just can't resist.  Besides, HOW GORGEOUS[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/192/collision-course http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/192/collision-course Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:45:03 -0400 Ranted The above ad was at the top of the ESPN fantasy football page.  Is it just me or does anyone else see the humor in this?  I'm not judging.  Whatever it takes. Still, humorous.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/191/whats-wrong-with-this-photo http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/191/whats-wrong-with-this-photo Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:47:38 -0400 Ranted Wow.  I am 0-2 and let me just say this is WAY less fun when you are losing your ass.  Matt Schaub got me 36 points last week and Adrian Peterson 22.  How the hell did I lose?  I'll tell[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/190/week-three-and-sucking-wind http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/190/week-three-and-sucking-wind Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:57:33 -0400 Football Yesterday while I was on the phone, Colton decided he wanted a lemon. In an effort to appease him so I could continue my conversation, I handed him one. "Not just to look at", he said. "I want to get[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/188/lemon-drop http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/188/lemon-drop Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:42:51 -0400 Ranted This Friday J and I will celebrate five years of marriage, hence the Ooph logo.  I spent some time Sunday looking through our wedding photos and reminiscing about the day we got married.  I know I am biased but it[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/187/part-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/187/part-one Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:11:52 -0400 Ranted I know, I know, enough of the spider's.  I feel the same way, TRUST ME.  But, this work of art was just too amazing not to have a moment in the spotlight.  This beautiful spider web was between the two trees[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/186/wow http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/186/wow Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:39:58 -0400 Ranted Introducing the elusive Charlie.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/185/a-friend-of-coltons http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/185/a-friend-of-coltons Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:36:23 -0400 Ranted You might notice that there is a slight change in the Ooph logo.  I am working on an explanation for that.  Sorry my writing has been more about photos and less about stories lately.  Blame it on the germs, germs,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/184/by-way-of-an-explanation http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/184/by-way-of-an-explanation Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:23:20 -0400 Ranted There is a new spider hero in town. Why do I feel like CPS is going to show up at my door any moment when I look at this photo?  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/183/look-out-peter-parker http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/183/look-out-peter-parker Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:40:37 -0400 Ranted Yesterday evening after work J came home and spent more time on his new wood working project. I find it incredibly clever that he comes up with these "projects" that allow him to spend time ALL BY HIMSELF doing something[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/182/js-project-day-two http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/182/js-project-day-two Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:28:25 -0400 Ranted The above photo is of the below bad ass. Noah's Facebook status Saturday night: Best night ever. catch me if u can coppers Alarming.  Perhaps that whole "touchdown bitches" thing went to his head.  Keenan's  response: wtf did u guys do hahahahahahahahaha Equally alarming. Aren't they[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/181/hmmmmm http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/181/hmmmmm Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:37:46 -0400 Ranted My husband is up to it again.  This spot was cleared so that he could begin his new project.  Any guesses what that might be? [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/180/any-guesses http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/180/any-guesses Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:41:25 -0400 Ranted Recently two additional people in my house began shaving their faces.  One allowed me to take his photo, actually asked me too.  The other one would KILL me for just mentioning it.  Whatever, eye roll, door slam.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/179/just-like-papa http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/179/just-like-papa Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:38:19 -0400 Ranted Repost from April.  Between the sneezing and nose blowing it took me a half hour to type "April".   For the past week I have been hearing my kids complain that they need new lacrosse equipment.  Yesterday, I finally found the time[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/41/say-what http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/41/say-what Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:38:04 -0400 Ranted Guess who is in need of the vegetable soup today?  That's what I get for bragging about how good I've been.  Be back with you all tomorrow.  Today every ounce of creativity I have has been stolen by the same[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/178/dude http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/178/dude Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:19:40 -0400 Ranted I don't know who in the hell cued these vile creatures, but could you uncue them PLEASE.  I am hoarse from screaming every 15 minutes when my face plows into another giant web.  This thing looks like it could eat[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/177/satans-friends http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/177/satans-friends Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:27:44 -0400 Ranted I was enjoying Happy Hour with a friend last Friday when I got this email from my mother.  It brought me to tears, not the sad kind, the humored kind.  I mean seriously I almost peed myself. This is just[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/175/can-you-say-passive-agressive http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/175/can-you-say-passive-agressive Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:26:35 -0400 Ranted It is so annoying when moms go on and on and brag about things like their kid's first touchdown that was just absolutely incredible.  I mean especially when they brag about how he had to jump up to grab the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/174/touchdown http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/174/touchdown Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:29:45 -0400 Ranted Just ask half the teams in the NFL and just ask me.  I HATE to lose. Not kidding.  HATE it.  I get that enraged feeling in my stomach when Colton beats me at Candyland.  You can imagine how I feel[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/173/losing-sucks http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/173/losing-sucks Tue, 15 Sep 2009 10:28:39 -0400 Football We were sitting outside last night and I grabbed my camera because I just can't help myself.  When these balloons fly over, all reason leaves my body, and I just have to take a photo.  I seriously question whether I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/172/friday-night-photos http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/172/friday-night-photos Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:11:33 -0400 Ranted I have long believed that family dinners are what keeps our house in order.  It is where we discuss the events of the day, where I remind the kids to chew with their mouths closed, put their napkins in their[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/171/family-dinner-happy-family http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/171/family-dinner-happy-family Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:20:15 -0400 Ranted Unless you live under a rock or have a newborn, you know that tonight is the first NFL game of the 2009 season and OMG I am more excited than I would be if my husband walked through the front[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/170/fantasy-football-week-one http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/170/fantasy-football-week-one Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:11:25 -0400 Football Apparently Colton is a GENIUS.  He was eating his trail mix and watchin’ a little Sponge Bob (which would drive anyone to prove how smart they are) when he yelled out, “Mom, come here.  I have to show you something.” [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/167/ein-freaking-stein http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/167/ein-freaking-stein Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:14:41 -0400 Ranted ...and the angels sang and the good people around the world shouted together in unison, "AMEN."[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/165/and-the-sky-parted http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/165/and-the-sky-parted Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:52:34 -0400 Ranted Yesterday I walked a friend through setting up her Facebook account.   I had just said, “the most important thing to know is that everything you post on your wall or anyone else’s can be viewed by everyone”, when my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/34/horny-isnt-just-for-toads http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/34/horny-isnt-just-for-toads Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:25:51 -0400 Ranted Keenan and I were driving yesterday and I said, "I wish driving made me burn as many calories as running."  He looked at me quite seriously and said, "Mom you would be EMACIATED."  Isn't that the damn truth.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/163/you-said-it http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/163/you-said-it Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:59:24 -0400 Ranted My husband bought me these sassy shoes for Mother’s Day and I can’t think of a better way to stave off a mid-life crisis than these sexy studded heels.  They have been sitting in my closet all summer taunting me[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/162/some-peoples-trash http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/162/some-peoples-trash Wed, 02 Sep 2009 12:36:20 -0400 Ranted This morning I dropped Keenan off at 7:15 a.m. to begin his high school career.  What choo talkin’ bout Willis?  Yes, somehow I am of the age to have a high schooler and my sweet baby boy has legs covered[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/161/frosh http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/161/frosh Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:44:39 -0400 Ranted I could take a picture like this most days.  One of the boys and J spending time together doing something fun and creative or throwing a football or lacrosse ball.  NOW, if he took my photo it would most certainly[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/160/just-another-day-in-the-life http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/160/just-another-day-in-the-life Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:17:01 -0400 Ranted This photo makes me sad.  We spent probably our last afternoon of the year down at the beach yesterday.  School starts next week and with kids sports on Saturday and the NFL on Sunday BABY, our beach time has come[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/159/bye-bye-summer-hello-thunder-thighs http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/159/bye-bye-summer-hello-thunder-thighs Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:10:34 -0400 Ranted I just wanted to take a quick blog moment to say a big fat thank you from the bottom of my butt, because it’s bigger than my heart, to all of you that come to this site and read about[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/158/a-big-fat-thank-you http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/158/a-big-fat-thank-you Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:33:02 -0400 Ranted J does this wacky thing when he is giving the boys a lecture.  He makes up words and gets his phrases all mixed up. It's a mental defect.  Some crazy crap flies out of his mouth.  He can't help himself[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/157/spell-that http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/157/spell-that Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:21:07 -0400 Ranted I heard my sweet Colton giggling from the other room and was about to go and investigate when he came running out.  Unable to control his giggling, he stopped in front of me and said, "Look mom, I have a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/154/they-learn-young http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/154/they-learn-young Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:12:43 -0400 Ranted This is not ANOTHER book review.  I swear.  Quite the opposite in fact. Colton asked me to read him to him this morning and I am BORED senseless with his books, so I pulled an old one off the bookshelf[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/152/not-so-motherly http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/152/not-so-motherly Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:03:51 -0400 Ranted After searching and yelling for Colton for long enough that I had started thinking about the story I would have to tell my husband when the neighbors called him at work to tell him our child was at their house[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/151/everyone-loves-to-hide http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/151/everyone-loves-to-hide Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:21:43 -0400 Ranted JJ comes up with the coolest things to do with the boys.  For his 40th birthday I got him a telescope and the other day he took these little tiny letters that have sticker backs with Colton to a tree[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/150/footprints-in-the-grass http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/150/footprints-in-the-grass Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:34:42 -0400 Ranted Do you remember how INSANELY excited I was to get grass after five years of living on an acre of dirt?  You might also remember that I mentioned someone else wasn't nearly as thrilled with the grass as I was.  One[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/149/play-dirty http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/149/play-dirty Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:24:36 -0400 Ranted Apparently the gals in my league are incredibly defensive about the name Sloth Cloth?  One wrote, "we sound like a group of fat lazy nuns."  All that from an old t-shirt that you wear around the house? After reading through[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/146/the-sloth-cloths-no-more http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/146/the-sloth-cloths-no-more Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:14:04 -0400 Football I heard some people talking about Michael Vick recently and comparing his exploitation of dogs to hunting. I won’t go into my thoughts on that subject, but it sparked a memory from my childhood. That is the way it comes[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/142/into-the-darkness http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/142/into-the-darkness Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:59:51 -0400 Ranted Tonight someone tweeted @ooph you are the best writer ever.  I am sure he was either, drunk, looking to sell me something or hoping I had something to sell (If you know what I mean). Don’t care.  I’ll take all[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/141/compliments-welcome http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/141/compliments-welcome Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:57:45 -0400 Ranted This product was given to me by a friend.  She had sent an email out to several of the gals in our group and asked if we would be interested in carrying these bags around and giving her the feedback[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/140/love-to-love-this http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/140/love-to-love-this Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:01:33 -0400 Ranted Daisy’s ears are CONSTANTLY infected and when they are, they smell worse than the playroom downstairs after Chili Night.  My family has decided it is MY JOB to clean her ears out every time they flair up.  It is beyond[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/139/patience http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/139/patience Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:26:55 -0400 Ranted I imagine all the birds were hanging out in the trees on Saturday chit chatting about when they should start packing up for their flight south, when one of them noticed Daisy’s toy sitting on the lawn.  “Hey Bart, I[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/138/bird-on-a-wire http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/138/bird-on-a-wire Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:11:04 -0400 Ranted As you all know by now, I LOVE FOOTBALL.  If you aren't clear, you can see more of my addiction here and here.Yesterday I set up my fantasy football league on NFL.com.  I have been playing fantasy football for years[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/137/football-is-for-girls http://www.ooph.com/topics/football/137/football-is-for-girls Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:14:05 -0400 Football Last week I had this idea that I was going to do a post about all the reasons I wasn’t ready for school to start.  For example, I can't stand making lunches.  It's right up there with cleaning the men’s[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/135/the-tipping-point http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/135/the-tipping-point Thu, 13 Aug 2009 14:10:17 -0400 Ranted I really want to say something about the fact that giving birth to a three year old breach baby with a wheel barrow, while holding a shovel and dealing with a beyond mindless yellow lab looks way easier than any[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/134/yardwork-hardwork http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/134/yardwork-hardwork Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:01:51 -0400 Ranted A friend of mine came by for dinner on Sunday night and instead of the pile of sugar she usually brings for the kids (apparently my years of bitching have finally sunk in), she brought a science project.  Three two[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/133/disciplinary-measures http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/133/disciplinary-measures Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:44:58 -0400 Ranted It is a rare thing that I enjoy a sunrise.  I typically greet them with a bitter grimace because one of my kids has awakended me and I am so pissed that I don't have those special kids (aka daughters) [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/130/morning-rising http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/130/morning-rising Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:58:17 -0400 Ranted Last Thursday night Colton and I spent the evening at my girlfriend’s house.  Unfortunately for her she is going through a divorce, but fortunately for me that means I get to go over to her beautiful home with its sweeping[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/129/cab-for-hire http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/129/cab-for-hire Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:54:09 -0400 Ranted Noah is the one with the ridiculous green shirt hanging out of his jersey.  You all probably know two things by now, one I am a crazy football fan and two Noah is playing football and I am not as much[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/128/beanpoles-are-people-too http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/128/beanpoles-are-people-too Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:58:38 -0400 Ranted I turned on Noggin this morning and Gabba Gabba something or other was on.  How does this shit get on television?  How does Jack Black end up in orange tights and an orange afro doing a Noggin show?After much consideration[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/125/my-apologies-in-advance http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/125/my-apologies-in-advance Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:51:53 -0400 Ranted Yesterday officially began football season in my house.  For those of you that don’t know, I am an INSANE, screaming at the television, bitter if my team loses, known to throw a remote or two, football lover. I DO draw[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/124/football-or-bust http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/124/football-or-bust Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:46:15 -0400 Ranted Friday was cowboy day at Colton’s summer camp. How sweet is this? It is worth noting that the cowboy hat on his head is mine and it fits, which brings back HORRIBLE memories of laying in the ultrasound room and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/123/cowboy-up http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/123/cowboy-up Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:34:13 -0400 Ranted While I am THRILLED with the beautiful grass in our backyard, it is bringing out some ugly felings in others. Colton is not happy about it at all. You can see it on his face.  Where is the adventure, the dirt,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/122/bad-feelings http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/122/bad-feelings Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:22:05 -0400 Ranted Just a reminder ladies.  Your lists are due by the end of the week.  Thanks to all of you that have already submitted your lists.  They are GREAT!! Here is the skinny, pun intended.  Click on the “contact me” button located[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/121/summer-fun-list http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/121/summer-fun-list Sat, 01 Aug 2009 10:31:24 -0400 Ranted   I recently touched on the fact that we have been in a remodel phase for about five years.  Horrifying isn’t it?  While there are still little things like one exterior window that has yet to be painted (Dad when are[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/117/seeing-green http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/117/seeing-green Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:40:20 -0400 Ranted Yummmmm.  That looks good, I’ll take two.  So, let’s just say that I need a new grill STAT.  I was feeling good last night, all the food had been prepped for dinner, I had spent a lot of time with[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/115/fried-chicken http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/115/fried-chicken Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:03:59 -0400 Ranted   I LOVE Self Magazine.  It keeps me motivated, gives me great ideas for updating my workouts, fabulous sex tips, makeup tips, style tips, etc.  I can’t get enough of their “flashes” (tiny little tidbits on how to be happy or[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/111/summer-fun-list http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/111/summer-fun-list Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:37:28 -0400 Ranted Yesterday I dropped Keenan and two of his friends off at the beach. I explained, as if to four year olds (and then made them repeat it back to me) that I would return for them at 5:15 p.m. and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/110/mother-of-the-year http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/110/mother-of-the-year Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:45:44 -0400 Ranted We bought our current house about five years ago.  It was originally built in 1978 and had mirrored wallpaper covered with ferns and large blue birds, yellow linoleum kitchen countertops, white carpet everywhere and an insanely large blue bathtub in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/108/the-switch http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/108/the-switch Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:09:01 -0400 Technology Yesterday Colton and I went down to a little pizza joint in Del Mar.  They have a fabulous salad that I recently discovered and I can’t get enough of it. I'm not kidding, I have had it four days in[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/107/mr-california http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/107/mr-california Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:26:49 -0400 Ranted Chapter OneMy brother was born on a cold and gray Indiana day in February, 1974. I was three years old at the time of his birth. My heart swelled the first moment I laid eyes on his red cheeks and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/109/memoirs http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/109/memoirs Wed, 15 Jul 2009 10:36:05 -0400 Ranted Yesterday was a good old fashioned day in the yard. Can't you just remember running through the sprinklers, playing on the slip-n-slide and having water balloon fights like it was yesterday? I bet our parents didn't watch us thinking, holy[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/105/the-dog-days-of-summer http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/105/the-dog-days-of-summer Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:01:25 -0400 Ranted Yesterday J left on a business trip so it was just me and the boys for the evening.  I made a good old summer meal on the grill of burgers, dogs and corn on the cob.  I handed Colton his[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/104/forgotten-female http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/104/forgotten-female Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:57:20 -0400 Ranted Yesterday we spent a glorious summer day at the beach. By noon Colton, who woke up at 5:00, was FEISTY.  I was trying to get some food in his system before his head started spinning and green crap came spewing[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/103/attitude http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/103/attitude Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:40:52 -0400 Ranted   Noah and Keenan are on vacation with their dad. We stay in touch by texting. Here's a little snippet. Me: How was your day? Noah: Great. I went mountain biking. Me:  Sweet! Did you wipeout? Noah:  Yep I slammed my balls into the handle[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/101/bonding http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/101/bonding Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:49:39 -0400 Ranted I am a VERY nosy, email checking, Facebook following kind of mom.  That doesn’t mean my kids don’t get in trouble, they do, but I feel like if I stay a step ahead of them, I can help them, help[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/100/the-importance-of-spying-on-your-kids http://www.ooph.com/topics/technology/100/the-importance-of-spying-on-your-kids Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:07:09 -0400 Technology Yesterday on our way to the imac store, we stopped by my friend's coffee shop and she gave Colton his first pack of Smarties. Unlike other sweets, he coveted every single piece. He slowly ate each one, discussing the flavor[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/99/papa-is-my-favorite http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/99/papa-is-my-favorite Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:40:03 -0400 Ranted Clearly they are fraternal and not identical twins.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/98/twins http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/98/twins Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:06:23 -0400 Ranted   J has hats, shirts and other John Deere crap floating all around this house.  He tells me all the time that if I really wanted to make him happy I would go out and purchase the above item and surprise[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/96/confusing-your-dears-and-deeres http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/96/confusing-your-dears-and-deeres Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:26:46 -0400 Ranted Colton attended his first summer camp this week. To his absolute delight it was FINALLY his turn to play a sport.  It was a bit tough to explain to him why the whole family, two cameras, several chairs and a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/95/where-are-all-my-fans http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/95/where-are-all-my-fans Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:51:33 -0400 Ranted   Keenan recently started babysitting for Colton.  We haven't gone far, just to dinner in our little village or to friends for a barbeque.  Its a win for everyone.  Colton loves hanging with his big brother, Keenan loves earning some dough[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/94/im-a-big-boy-now http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/94/im-a-big-boy-now Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:33:38 -0400 Ranted   On occasion both older boys are out of the house for the night and we put Colton down early and have what my friends and I call a “self contained” party.  Saturday night was one of those fabulous nights.   It[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/91/date-night http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/91/date-night Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted   I was doing dishes on Saturday when Colton started yelling from the front yard.  I had the music playing and the water was running so I couldn't make out what he was saying.  I kept yelling back, "I can't hear[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/90/a-goose-a-goose http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/90/a-goose-a-goose Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:46:53 -0400 Ranted Is there anything sweeter than this? Look at the proud look on his face as he brings the flowers he just picked for me. Wouldn't it be great if our husband's felt the same way about getting us flowers?[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/89/flowers-for-me http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/89/flowers-for-me Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:36:14 -0400 Ranted   This morning Colton and I were playing with his letter flashcards.  He loves to say the letter and then the sound, so I figured it was time to teach him how to add the sounds together to form a word.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/88/smarty-pants http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/88/smarty-pants Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:07:18 -0400 Ranted   What I discovered today has me even more excited than half-price wine Tuesdays.   A little background.  I am SOOOO OVER being my family’s secretary.  I don’t mind keeping our calendar in my computer and transferring it weekly to our white[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/85/just-plain-giddy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/85/just-plain-giddy Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:51:52 -0400 Ranted There are some people around here that are sad that our vacation is coming to an end. Then there are others who can't wait to get home and lock themselves in their room with a bottle of wine and watch[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/84/on-the-road-again http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/84/on-the-road-again Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:03:33 -0400 Ranted Remember that vision of J and I in the hot tub together late night?  I never even had time to put my big toe in it.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/83/some-day http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/83/some-day Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:34:15 -0400 Ranted   We are in Park City for a family vacation tagged on to a lacrosse tournament for Keenan. Saturday was the first day of the tourney and we had to be out of the house by 8:00a.m. to have Keenan at[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/82/everyone-is-happy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/82/everyone-is-happy Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:22:58 -0400 Ranted   I learned something new about my husband this week which is kind of sexy since we have been together a long time.  He does this to the cheese on his sandwich.  I thought it was really stupid and made fun[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/81/cheesy http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/81/cheesy Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:04:44 -0400 Ranted   Every now and then I might just have had a bad enough day to move all the clocks in the house up an hour and send my kids to bed early.  What?  Like you haven’t thought about it.  Do you[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/80/we-wont-be-moving-to-the-mountains http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/80/we-wont-be-moving-to-the-mountains Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:03:26 -0400 Ranted Why do we take bowling so seriously?  By "we" I don't just mean my family.  Look around the alley next time you are there.  Everyone is cussing or throwing their arms up in the air in frustration.  It's as if[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/79/bowling http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/79/bowling Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:37:53 -0400 Ranted Sadly, I have passed the AWFUL red cheek gene on to Colton.  It is a horrible fate to have everyone know when you are excited or embarrassed.  Just ask my brother.  He still can't ask a girl out on a[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/78/sweet-cheeks http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/78/sweet-cheeks Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:30:48 -0400 Ranted   Keenan’s "promotion ceremony" was really sweet.  I confess I cried a tear or two.  This photo looks like he is saying, “HOLY CRAP, I did it!”   Right after graduation, we hit the road.  After a long day of driving, Keenan[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/77/we-have-arrived http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/77/we-have-arrived Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:03:54 -0400 Ranted   This morning we are leaving for a week long vacation in Park City.  Keenan has a lacrosse tournament there this coming weekend so we decided to make a family trip out of it.  We are renting the cutest house that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/76/off-we-go http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/76/off-we-go Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:58:35 -0400 Ranted This weekend after Keenan's lacrosse game a friend of his came home with us. The 30 minutes in the car with the two boys was a teenage parents dream come true. Both boys talked to me for the entire time[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/75/stay-on-your-toes http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/75/stay-on-your-toes Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:48:38 -0400 Ranted Finally, the new site is here.  As you navigate your way through, don't hesitate to contact me with any odd things you come across, we will get them fixed straight away. Be sure to sign up for the Ooph Newsletter,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/67/im-so-confused http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/67/im-so-confused Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:46:44 -0400 Ranted   I write about my teenage son, Keenan, a lot because having a teenager is a journey into a place that takes your breath.  Sometimes in a way that brings you to your knees in tears of frustration and hurt and[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/72/these-are-the-days http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/72/these-are-the-days Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:46:29 -0400 Ranted   Yesterday Noah was playing Xbox and Colton was “playing” next to him.  That means he has a controller that isn’t plugged in and he thinks he is the other guy playing against Noah.  Taking a page from his brother, he[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/71/thats-not-what-i-meant http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/71/thats-not-what-i-meant Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:45:19 -0400 Ranted I have been complaining to my husband that our jacaranda tree hasn’t bloomed and looks like crap and that he should fertilize it or something.  “Be patient”, he would say.   Has he met me?  About a week ago, right[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/69/careful-what-you-wish-for http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/69/careful-what-you-wish-for Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:27:12 -0400 Ranted   This evening Colton came running over with a photo that he picked up off of my husband’s desk.  As he got closer he began sobbing and clearly horrified yells, “Where’s me in this?”   It was a photo taken a couple[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/30/how-could-it-be http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/30/how-could-it-be Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:08:13 -0400 Ranted my thoughts exactly As I prepare to spend my afternoon meeting with Keenan and his physics teacher to figure out how he has EIGHT missing assignments (what does it take to get a phone call around here?) juggle four lacrosse playoff[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/70/my-thoughts-exactly http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/70/my-thoughts-exactly Sat, 06 Jun 2009 15:29:54 -0400 Ranted About a month ago an odor began in my pantry. It started out very faint and blended well with the other odors that reside in this house of boys.  However, by the beginning of this week, there wasn’t a bathroom[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/54/if-it-smells-like-a-rat http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/54/if-it-smells-like-a-rat Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:29:43 -0400 Ranted I am working on a new book and am crazy about it.  About a year ago our bookclub, after reading “They Poured Fire on Us from the Sky” invited the author, Judy Bernstein, to come and speak.  It is an[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/53/new-book-in-the-works http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/53/new-book-in-the-works Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:28:46 -0400 Ranted   Noah:  Mom, do we have one of those popsicle maker thingies?  (Seeing my quizzical look, he adds.)  You know, it has a bunch of squares in it. Me:  Do you mean an ice cube tray? Apparently my kids have no idea that[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/29/the-good-old-days http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/29/the-good-old-days Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:06:59 -0400 Ranted Colton told me this morning that he had a meeting to go to and he needed a tie and a “meeting bag” like papa.  You can tell by the smile on his face how happy it makes him to pretend[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/66/i-have-a-meeting http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/66/i-have-a-meeting Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:30:14 -0400 Ranted This is the view from the corner of my street.  Every April this field blooms and it makes me long for the lazy days of summer.  A time when I don’t have to wake up at 6:30 everyday, lunches don’t[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/60/peaceful-days-of-summer http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/60/peaceful-days-of-summer Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:58:59 -0400 Ranted   At the market, trying to check out while Colton is slamming the cart into my legs and screaming that he wants to go. Stranger at the Market:  Wow he has a lot of energy. What he was really saying:  Your kid is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/21/people-say-dumb-shit http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/21/people-say-dumb-shit Mon, 01 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted There is something about curly hair, gapped teeth and goggles that gets me every time. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/63/swimming-lessons http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/63/swimming-lessons Sun, 31 May 2009 18:13:06 -0400 Ranted   My husband went and picked out Mother’s Day cards from each of the boys.  When he got home he handed them their cards to fill out.  I was standing around the corner and overheard this conversation. JJ:  Boys, put something really[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/28/mothers-day-with-boys http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/28/mothers-day-with-boys Fri, 22 May 2009 16:06:18 -0400 Ranted   Today consisted of a Mother’s Day program, an afternoon of swim at a friends, rushing over to Noah’s lacrosse game, rushing off to Keenan’s hair appointment and then meeting up for dinner.  Fun, but exhausting.  I am finally sitting down[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/27/rusty-instincts http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/27/rusty-instincts Wed, 20 May 2009 16:05:06 -0400 Ranted I listen to the sound of a toddler screaming at me, the neighbors ridiculous leaf blower, the church under construction across the street, the sound of “can I have this and that”, the slamming of a door when I say[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/32/noise-noise-noise http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/32/noise-noise-noise Wed, 13 May 2009 16:24:02 -0400 Ranted   Colton and I like to sing in the car.  Actually, Colton likes to sing, I just do anything not to have to answer 275 “whys” before we even get to the end of our street.  Yesterday we were singing, “The[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/26/it-all-makes-sense http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/26/it-all-makes-sense Wed, 13 May 2009 16:03:28 -0400 Ranted This photo was taken from our back patio last night while JJ and I sat outside enjoying a cocktail and the kids ran around playing lacrosse.  Most nights several hot air balloons fly over our home.  It’s one of my[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/65/beauty http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/65/beauty Tue, 12 May 2009 18:26:04 -0400 Ranted The kids thought she was cold.  I can’t even get this kind of treatment on Mother’s Day.  Perhaps she garners such respect by farting so loudly that she runs away with her tail between her legs in fear.  Hmmm... [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/64/no-respect http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/64/no-respect Tue, 12 May 2009 18:19:27 -0400 Ranted   Eminem  We Made You Shinedown   Second Chance Electrik Red  So Good Matt Nathanson  Come on Get Higher Lifehouse  Broken White Tie Affair  Candle (Sick and Tired)  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/memoirs/73/downloaded-today http://www.ooph.com/topics/memoirs/73/downloaded-today Tue, 12 May 2009 16:07:34 -0400 memoirs   I am taking Keenan and Noah to see a movie tomorrow night.  It is titled, “Emmanuel,” and is the story of a Lost Boy from Sudan.  He now lives in England and has put out an album titled, Warchild.  The[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/25/im-not-that-bad http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/25/im-not-that-bad Tue, 12 May 2009 16:02:25 -0400 Ranted Last Saturday night my girlfriend turned 40.  Being newly single, she wanted to go downtown, stay in a swanky hotel and be seen.  There is a point in ones life when going out to a downtown night club makes about[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/51/what-rhymes-with-lugar http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/51/what-rhymes-with-lugar Sun, 10 May 2009 17:26:34 -0400 Ranted   JJ showered before me last night.  When it was my turn, I turned the water on for my shower and stepped inside.  Then, I stepped right back out. Me:  (Very loudly) JJ JJ:  (Comes running from the other room, assuming a spider,[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/24/dude http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/24/dude Fri, 08 May 2009 16:01:26 -0400 Ranted   Every time Colton sees a baby on television he says, “Is that me when I was a baby?”  I usually respond, “No sweetie, that baby isn’t screaming.”   Last night we were watching America’s Funniest Home Videos, and there was a video[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/23/you-were-sweet-sometimes http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/23/you-were-sweet-sometimes Thu, 07 May 2009 15:59:59 -0400 Ranted   Colton has a backpack that is from the movie Cars and when you push a button it sounds like a car with a missing muffler for thirty seconds.  Seriously, even their backpacks have to make noise now?  Clearly my girlfriend[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/22/liar-liar-pants-on-fire http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/22/liar-liar-pants-on-fire Fri, 01 May 2009 15:58:53 -0400 Ranted Apparently three years ago I gave birth to a rooster.  Every morning at 5:30 a.m. I awaken to the sound of feet pattering into my room.  He climbs into our bed and instead of falling back asleep, he begins the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/50/where-is-the-damn-sandman http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/50/where-is-the-damn-sandman Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:25:45 -0400 Ranted   Parenting teens these days would send even June and Ward Cleaver to the liquor cabinet.  There are just too many avenues in which to find trouble.  Facebook, cell phones, the movie theater, the school parking lot, etc. Trying to stay[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/49/parenting-teens-takes-wine http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/49/parenting-teens-takes-wine Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:25:04 -0400 Ranted   I found a post-it note on the floor in the kitchen this morning after the boys left for school.  These six words were written on it. dinkweed poontang pussy vagina titties asses Perhaps they were hoping for a new dog and trying to come up with names.[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/48/dinkweed http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/48/dinkweed Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:24:01 -0400 Ranted After a week of meetings, an abnormally high volume of carpooling and lacrosse stress, the laundry has piled up.  My guess is that about half of this was never worn.  It was instead a casualty of being on top of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/62/birth-control http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/62/birth-control Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:07:04 -0400 Ranted Last night I was given the horrific opportunity of telling my son that he didn’t make the second team in six months that he tried out for.  There are no words for the agony.   I read the email that notified[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/47/ooph-that-hurts http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/47/ooph-that-hurts Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:23:11 -0400 Ranted My oldest son was given an incredible opportunity this week.  His coach nominated him to tryout for a lacrosse team that will travel to New York in June and compete against other cities in a national championship.  There were sixty[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/46/calm-your-shit-down http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/46/calm-your-shit-down Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:22:10 -0400 Ranted   I was waiting for the car in front of me to turn left so I could turn this morning when Colton said exactly what I was thinking. Colton:  Go dumbass. Oopsy.  Thankfully my husband was not in the car or I would[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/20/thats-my-bad http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/20/thats-my-bad Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:49:37 -0400 Ranted I was reading an article on the founders of “My Parents Joined Facebook”.   The site is hysterical.  It shows blurbs of what parents write on their children’s Facebook.  Clearly I am not one of “those” parents.   I am[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/45/im-still-cool-right http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/45/im-still-cool-right Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:41:30 -0400 Ranted   There are days when I sit and wonder why my head is so screwed up.  Then there are days when I know for sure. My Mother:  (via voicemail)  Hi honey.  Actually things are going pretty good right now.  Knock on wood. [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/19/like-mother-like-daughter http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/19/like-mother-like-daughter Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:48:09 -0400 Ranted There should be some legislature put in place to regulate nudity in locker rooms.  I am not one of those people who hides in a bathroom stall to change my clothes, but I am discreet.  I will keep a towel[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/44/put-some-clothes-on http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/44/put-some-clothes-on Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:40:45 -0400 Ranted   I learned a new word over spring break.   shart (sharht)  -verb   to shit and fart simultaneously In a sentence: Noah:  Colton is pooping on the toilet.  Before that he sharted in his pants. That pretty much sums up my week at home with the three[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/18/thats-disgusting http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/18/thats-disgusting Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:47:14 -0400 Ranted   My husband is out of town for business at least one night per week.  Which means a long couple of days alone with the kids and then the dreaded bedtime routine all by my lonesome.    Last week he had to[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/43/flight-to-freedom http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/43/flight-to-freedom Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted   Yesterday Noah and I were on our way to his lacrosse practice when the song,  “I Love College,”  by Asher Roth came on.  Some of the lyrics are, blah blah blah, naked girls, chug, chug, chug, sex.  You get the[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/16/lost-in-a-memory http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/16/lost-in-a-memory Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:43:49 -0400 Ranted 5:00 a.m. Awake to the sound of Colton’s feet padding down the hall to my room. Ooph. 5:00 a.m. Roll over to J to tell him to get up and take Colton.  Have heart stopping realization that he is out of[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/40/tough-start http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/40/tough-start Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:37:20 -0400 Ranted   9:45 p.m. on Sunday evening just putting muffins into oven and apparently living in a fairy tale world. Me:  Some day the kids are going to really appreciate that I made homemade muffins and cookies for their class parties. J:  They totally[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/15/no-respect http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/15/no-respect Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:20:24 -0400 Ranted My husband and Colton name everything.  Every single stuffed animal that enters the front door, Colton’s blankets, the furniture, every damn object in my home has a name.  It drives me crazy.  I can barely remember my kids’ names, let[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/39/our-hummingbird-charlie http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/39/our-hummingbird-charlie Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:31:35 -0400 Ranted I went to register Keenan for high school yesterday and ran into a kid that, in my son’s words, is geeky.  Not all kids can be jocks, there isn’t anything wrong with being geeky, just look at Bill Gates.  [...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/38/my-twisted-mind http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/38/my-twisted-mind Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:30:44 -0400 Ranted   My husband, Keenan, Noah and even Colton (because he just mimicks everyone else in this house) were up in arms by what I said to a girl that called my home for Keenan on Saturday.  Perhaps it was a little[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/37/whats-in-a-name http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/37/whats-in-a-name Sat, 21 Mar 2009 16:29:57 -0400 Ranted   There are a few moments in a mom’s life that are undefinably big.  Giving birth, kindergarten, a fat glass of wine at the end of a long day, to name a few.   Tonight I am taking Keenan to his high[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/35/fast-times-at-keenan-high http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/35/fast-times-at-keenan-high Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:27:27 -0400 Ranted Colton is absolutely petrified of Santa.  To prove that point, he is still, at the end of March, telling me he doesn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap. Colton:  I don’t want to sit on Santa’s lap. Me: You don’t ever have[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/14/big-like-papa http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/14/big-like-papa Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:19:25 -0400 Ranted   If people out there would drive in a more civilized manner, I would not be continuously forced to come up with crazy rhymes.  Yesterday when I was cut off while merging onto the highway, the word asshole slipped out before[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/61/what-rhymes-with-asshole http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/61/what-rhymes-with-asshole Thu, 19 Mar 2009 18:05:25 -0400 Ranted I try not to take it personally when Colton gets excited to the point of jumping up and down when I mention that a sitter is coming.  I shake it off when my girlfriends come over and he asks me[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/36/snubbed-at-starbucks http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/36/snubbed-at-starbucks Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:28:46 -0400 Ranted I spent this weekend at a friends house up north.  My older boys were away snowboarding with my ex-husband, so I took Colton and hit the road.  My husband had a fabulous two days alone in the house.  What is[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/33/eat-your-ice-cream http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/33/eat-your-ice-cream Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:24:54 -0400 Ranted Further reminder that I live in a locker room. Colton:  “I want to poop on you.” Me.  “Colton James that’s disgusting!  We don’t say things like that.” Colton:  With a grin.   “I want to fart on you.” Me.  “Colton, I mean it.  Stop[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/10/potty-mouth http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/10/potty-mouth Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted   Monday Me: “Keenan make sure you arrange for a ride to and from your party on Saturday night because JJ and I are going to be out of town.  I can do both nights on Friday to make up for someone[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/9/dude-get-a-ride http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/9/dude-get-a-ride Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Ranted When the dog bites, when the bee stings... I absolutely LOVE this room in our house. Someday when the teens move off to college I will have an office decorated just like this only with pale blue walls and a crystal[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/352/this-is-one-of-my-favorite-things http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/352/this-is-one-of-my-favorite-things Ranted When the dog bites, when the bee stings... I absolutely LOVE this room in our house. Someday when the teens move off to college I will have an office decorated just like this only with pale blue walls and a crystal[...] http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/354/this-is-one-of-my-favorite-things http://www.ooph.com/topics/ranted/354/this-is-one-of-my-favorite-things Ranted