That's right ladies and gentlemen I have gained actual weight enough that when I sit down I have to undo the top button of my pants. It's astonishing, amazing and crazy. I mean sure, ok, I'm 40 but seriously, I haven't change pant sizes in around 15 years. 32/30 that's my size and yep, it's now about to go to 33. Insane.

Is the thickening commencing? I don't know... maybe it's just bloating but this has been going on for awhile now so perhaps I have to face facts: I've gained weight. I can almost bet that this summer with the boys will take the weight off but who knows... I don't tend to go backwards, only forwards :)

Ok so not really, because in the last couple years I've been just putting things up every blue moon, very random. Not the fairly well thought out posts I used to do back in say... 2004/2005 when this blogging thing was all the rage.

I am curious about how many other blogs have remained after all of these years, I noticed some on my blogroll are still there, but most are blank, or like mine rarely updated. It's sad when the only posts on a blog are comments on the fact they don't really do it anymore.

8 years, wow, that's about a year before my first was born. So much to talk about during those years, new exciting, frustrating and scary times. Not that those same scary, exciting and frustrating times aren't still happening but not to the extreme that they were during Xavier's first year or 2, or Tristan, or even Griffin's birth. So I guess that sort of explains the lull.

I used to blog about the shitty job I had, the news, some environmental tirade, inlaws, crappy cars... My job for the past 6 years has been going good, everyone else reads the news and I feel like there's no use blogging about the environment anymore it just makes me too sad. So now I lament about not blogging in long drawn out posts about the past.

Who knows though right? It's still here (surprisingly) so that means I can resume any time right? :)

I send these notes into the din
as messages into the abyss,
knowing they will not return,
cemented in their status.

I send these songs into the din
as tiny shards of my mirror.
Messages of hope or fear,
of sadness or glory or pain.

I send this note into the din
upon it's tightrope of taste.
In hopes to etch itself
into a pleasant fleeting memory.

Logical, predictable, calculable,
common, typical,
these are acceptable.
Gradually recessing the notes
in my head, with facts, news,
the here and now.

Where is the desire?
The new and creative patterns,
the excitement of the composition,
of the performance, of the creation?

Perhaps the resistance to normality
has slowly eroded.
Perhaps my age, my status,
this province, all are conspiring
to bring me down to their level.

Perhaps it's time itself,
constantly resisting my urges,
my insistence on more minutes,
more hours to my day.
Perhaps it's my own laziness;
to continue the three lives
I may have to split myself in two.

And then a couple years ago Facebook came along, with it's quick gratification of access, feeding the distracted brain with quips and one liners. Instantly knowing that your friend is on the can, laughing at the TV, just broke up with his cat, smells like yesterdays diapers... you know the drill.

And now, 2009 is here and this is the 3rd post of the year. 3rd post! I used to post every day or so, is it that my life is any less interesting? Possibly. Is it that my life is more hectic and I don't have time? Could be... OR it could be that I'm too busy checking what my 200+ friends are doing to be bothered to live a life of my own.

Facebook: the only social application that makes you feel more alone than ever.... because you realize even though you are familiar with everyone there, you really don't know them and they really don't know you. Do you see me setting endless dinner/coffee/movie/etc. dates for me and my wife to go out? No. Are we having epic parties with this plethora of friends I claim to have? No. Hardly. We're just the same as we were before, but even worse because now I realize that I do know a lot people, it's just that I make no effort to socialize with them.

Well I'm changing this, at least the blogging part. I still won't be the outgoing socialite I was in college/university etc. but at least I'll be writing about my sad little life.

Blog... yes... umm... blog....

Right! Er... I mean Write!!

It's amazing that this thing still exists and doubly amazing that it isn't completely filled with spam comments! I painstakingly deleted a bunch, but I've seen many more on other mu.nu blogs.
edit - ok so I spoke too soon... craploads of spam comments I have to delete.

What's new... what's new... well not a tremendous amount, we're about 80% done updating the look of our living room, leather sofa loveseat and chair, laminate flooring, paint and possibly a new wall unit coming up. It's been an interesting journey and it's going to get more interesting being that our house is a bi-level with vaulted ceiling. Once you start the living room you have to continue to the kitchen or it looks weird. As it is now our living room looks nice but I look at the cupboards, appliances etc. in the kitchen and they look drab and dated. Slippery slope, it seems.

Still playing the latin music, posted some videos on youtube ... check them out -
Oorgo on Youtube

The kids are growing like weeds, bad weeds. Xavier is in grade 2 now, Griffin is on his way to being on his way to someday being able to go to pre-school. The potty training battle wages on and right now he's winning.

My lovely wife bought a new laptop, she's very happy, she made enough money off 2 garage sales to purchase it. It's shiny, has 3 GB of ram, T4200 dualcore processor, 320 GB Hard drive and a pretty 16" screen. Facebook and Bejewelled never looked so good. :)

After watching this series of videos regarding the world economy called Crash Course by Chris Martenson I think this timely and important song must be read word for word.

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

The Times They Are A-Changin
Bob Dylan

Every year at this time I look around and wonder how I got here. Not in a sort of "Whoa, dude... like ... how much did I DRINK last night" got here, more of a life path, choices made, etc. etc.. I've always taken to the path of chaos, let the road choose me instead of I choose the road. When opportunities come I pause to consider them, sometimes I pause too long and good things pass me by, but that pause is usually instinct kicking in, disbelief, or my built in skepticism. Anyways I am rapidly going down the old path of self diagnosis and I'll stop there.

Winter 2008 seemed to be going well, job is enjoyable as jobs go, people I work with are great, the family is doing well, kids are getting bigger, as they tend to do. But then my boss read a letter from the Alberta Medical Association about a proposal from Alberta Health and Wellness that screwed all that up. Apparently our government in all of it's wisdom and greed and power hunger has decided to try and lure our EMR clients away to their chosen EMR software providers by giving them a big fat $20K bonus (per doctor). That's right, bonus. Nothing to do with setup costs, that's already provided for, nothing to do with anything, just "Here's $20K for your troubles".

Over the past couple years POSP has been trying to thin the crop of EMR providers by forcing us to jump through their insane hoops. Last year they came up with an RFP that was attainable by us, and we were well on our way to being compatible. Suddenly they decide "You don't have this this this and this feature" ... which is a lie, and they pick 3 vendors, all 3 from outside Alberta, one of which is actually affiliated with Alberta Medical Association!! None of which have fared very well vs. clinic staff/doctor opinion polls.

Do you think this will make a difference to doctors though? They'll take the $20K, switch over, put up with the new software until it drives them and their staff around the bend, then they'll be back. But in that time the other vendors in the province will lose real money, all because our government is a bunch of power hungry idiots. The only reason the $20K is being offered is because they've had ZERO interest in the 3 vendors, so they being the stubborn egomaniacs they are, are pushing forward no matter what. No matter how much it costs Albertans, or Alberta companies, no matter if we are in a recession, they are throwing millions of dollars at doctors to get them to use software they don't even want.

In Ontario EMR vendors, if they want to sell EMR have to pay money every so often to go through testing to make sure they are up to the Ontario medical standards. It's going well, it's still competitive, and they have multiple vendors. Why is it that the Alberta government has gone the way of the fascists and are trying to control and/or damage local businesses?

Anyways, he brought to light Randy Scheunemann, Senator McCain's chief foreign policy strategist and spokesman. Have a read, I don't want to tarnish it with my Canadian ignorance on U.S. politics. Suffice it to say if I knew that dude was influencing my candidate for office I would have second thoughts about voting for said candidate.

What happened to you, China? You used to be cool. Ok that's a lie, everyone knows there are human tragedies that are going on there, the lack of human rights and fascist iron fist rule. One thing the Olympics have done is opened China up to criticism, I don't really think they considered all the effects a world event would have on the wall. You really can't hide things as much as before, the wall is crumbling all around you, China, welcome to the 21st century of information.