She stretches her arm up to reach a spot on the wall.

“Mommy, why can I reach this?” asked my 3-year old Kalia.

“That’s because you’re growing bigger baby,” I said.

“That means I can go to school?”

“You’ll go to school when you turn four.”

“Is that still a long time?”

“Hmm… a little long.”

She reaches up for the wall a second time then jumps around the room.

“I’m bigger! I’m bigger!”

“Let’s play teacher, Mommy!”

I know she misses school. She likes to play teacher everyday.

Today we did numbers one to twenty. She has numbers one to 12 down pat. Numbers 13 to 20 are still a challenge but she’s learning fast.

I’m learning to respect her pace and her interest in studying. Sometimes I feel this tendency to hurry my big girl, I think “You’ve got to learn this now!”

But I remind myself that children learn differently. The more you force them to do something, the more they will  reject it.

The important thing is to be ready to engage them in a fun learning activity once they show an interest in it. Of course, it helps when you scatter educational materials all around the home that will encourage them to learn at every opportunity.

It also helps to track their individual progress. Sometimes there’s a tendency to compare how our child is doing with other children their age. And that is like setting ourselves and our children up for failure.

I know someone will always be better or slightly lesser than my daughter. But no one can ever be like my big girl.

“Okay Mommy, I’d like to play something else now.”

I would have wanted her to keep playing until she mastered all the numbers. But I helped her put the cards away. We can save studying for another day.

It was raining and the clouds were gray. I had to tell my big girl that school was suspended that day.

“Okay, Mommy,” she said.

Later on, the rain stopped. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and said, “The rain stopped. Let’s go to school, Mommy.”

I was so proud of my big girl.

Jamaine has completed her first semester in kindergarten. We’re almost near the end of our break before she goes to school again.

In my last post, I mentioned how I wanted school to be a positive experience for her. And judging by her enthusiasm to attend class everyday, I could tell she loves school.

I owe this in part to our preparations the year before. We would always watch DVDs or read stories about the first day of school. And I would always make her feel how exciting it is.

I would tell her that she’d have a teacher who will help her learn lots of things. Teachers are always nice.

When hubby had to take a trip abroad last year, he came home with the perfect present: a Dora backpack for both girls.

Jamaine would always stuff her bag with toys and books and pretend she was going to class. She would get her toy cellphone and pretend she was talking to her teacher.

I guess you could say her preparation was one year in the making.

First weeks

Her first day in school went very well. We all went with her and I stayed outside her room the whole time.

When I asked her how her first day was, “It’s fun Mommy!”

The challenge surfaced during her first few weeks. Her teacher told me how she’d always play by herself and she would cover her ears whenever the class would sing songs.

“It’s too noisy!” Jamaine would say.

She grew up with mostly her dad, me and a nanny so I wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t sociable yet. I had hoped that school would help her become more outgoing and confident.

There were also quite a few times when she wouldn’t want to go to school.

So we made it a point that either I or her dad would send her to and pick her up from school. I think it reassured her that we would always be there for her.

Breakthrough

Halfway into the first semester, I could see Jamaine was starting to enjoy school more. She would come home with new songs eager to teach her sister. She would bring home her school projects and display them on the wall.

She would proudly show every badge, stamp and sticker she earned for performing well in class.

Our biggest test came when their class had to perform a dance for the school’s field day. Her teacher was concerned about how Jamaine would react to a crowd bigger than 10.

“Be brave okay. There will be a lot of people watching. And they’ll be clapping for you.” I told her this every day for two weeks before her performance.

When she got on the stage, she danced like no one was watching. I was one proud mama.

All the other events that came after that were a breeze.

When Jamaine would come home, she would tell me about all her friends and how she’d like to invite them for a sleepover. When I’d pick her up, she’d introduce me to her classmates, “Mommy, meet my friend Sophie…”

We did it!

At the end of the semester, I met with her teacher to discuss her evaluation and most of the items in her developmental checklist were marked as “Secure Behavior” – meaning she has already mastered that skill.

That’s what I love about a progressive school. They don’t compare your child’s performance with a set of grades. Instead they measure the child’s progress in terms of behavior: whether it is emerging, developing or secure.

Over all, I am very satisfied with Jamaine’s progress and I am happy we met our goal to help her become more sociable and confident. (So I can dance like Dora and sing, “We did it! We did it!”)

For the second semester, we will focus on developing her writing and reading skills. She already loves scribbling and making up stories while she reads a book. I’m pretty sure we’ll be having shopping sprees in the bookstore pretty soon.

Do you have a first time preschooler? What was it like for your child during her first adventure into school?

Hello November! I’m back from a six – month unplanned hiatus, recharged and ready to write again. And what better way to get back into blogging than engage in a 30 – day challenge: one post a day for the whole month of November.

I am inspired by NaBloPoMo and I am committing myself to move forward with my blog. I’ve always loved writing and connecting with fellow moms. Though life happens and there are times when we have to force ourselves to go offline, I will always go back to this haven.

Parenting can be a maddening as much as it is an amazingly fulfilling journey. Blogging is my therapy. This space is my sanctuary.

Sometimes (maybe most of the time), you’re not really sure what you’re doing and you hope the kids will be just fine. Sometimes you just need to know someone is going through the same thing you are. Most of the time, you just need reassurance that everything will indeed be alright.

And this is why I continue to write. I want to be here for you. I want you to know we can’t all be perfect parents but we are the best parents for our kids. I want to learn from you and how you rock at this parenting thing. And I want to share with you my stories, my booboos, my victories and what I have learned along the way.

If you feel inspired to join this challenge or there’s a topic you’d like to discuss, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

This is gonna be an awesome month and I’d love it if you shared this journey with me.

Almost ready for school!

“Mama, I can’t keep up with them. They read and write so fast!”

I enrolled in a regular school when I was six. I had no previous education but I went straight to Kindergarten 2. I barely remember how challenging it was for me to be among kids who all seemed to read and write faster than I could.

Thankfully, with practice and help from my Mama, I was able to graduate from Kindergarten with a “Best in English” award.

Fast forward, 23 years later, I am enrolling my little girl into a progressive school. She just turned four.

Someone asked me why I was in such a hurry. But I think early education can do my daughter a lot of good.

Why we chose a progressive school

The moment I learned about progressive schools, I knew I want Jamaine to study in one. That was my main requirement for choosing a school.

What’s the difference between a progressive school and a regular school?

From how I understand it, a progressive school is focused on the learner. They adapt their teaching methods to the capabilities of your child. Your child’s performance is measured by the progress she’s making and not by the standard grading system regular schools use.

If your child happens to have advanced learning abilities, she will be given activities that will help her harness them. If she happens to be a bit slow, she will be given activities that will help her enhance her skills.

All classes have a small teacher – student ratio so that each child can be given enough attention. This also means that most progressive schools have higher fees than regular schools.

This is a perfect match for what I want for my daughter:

1. I want school to be a fun experience for her.
2. I want a positive learning environment where she can freely explore her interests and develop her skills.
3. I want her to have teachers who respect her individuality and who understand that each child learns differently.

Other factors to consider when choosing a school for my toddler

The next factor I considered in choosing a school was proximity. I wanted one that was near our home, preferably just one ride away.

This is mainly because I want Jamaine to spend more time on sleeping and less time on travel.

I also wanted a school that has a good vibe all around it. I don’t know if you get that “woo – woo” stuff. But I get vibes about certain places and I often sense when I’m in a good environment.

Of course, the surrounding neighborhood also  has to be clean and safe.

The tuition is also a consideration but since I knew progressive schools cost more, hubby and I had already prepared long before to invest in our daughters’ education.

My daughter’s first school

Fortunately, we found a school that met all our criteria.

I actually only had two options of progressive schools near our home, I narrowed it to one when I learned that the other school’s Kindergarten class was actually in a much farther branch.

The first visit to the school was a family affair. We made an appointment with one of the teachers who explained to us what their educational system was like and gave us a tour of the school.

Jamaine and Kalia fell in love with the school at first sight. The first thing that greeted them at the gate was a playground.

The school itself actually looked like a home converted into a school. The classrooms were small and there was nothing fancy about them. But the place had a good feel to it with handcrafted decorations all around.

I think Jamaine would need very little adjustment in this environment because it feels just like home.

The teachers and staff are also very amiable and look very competent.

Jamaine, who actually takes time to warm up to people, easily got along with two of the teachers she met. Now whenever someone asks her who her teacher is, she actually remembers the two teachers’ names. And that for me is a really, really good sign.

We’re all set to have a parent orientation during the first week of June and the start of classes, a week after.

I’m so excited for Jamaine’s first day at school. I can already tell she is going to have so much fun that she’ll only be too eager to go to school again the next day, and the next and the next.

I will probably be the one who will need to keep up!

Remember the tale of the two lost teeth?

Well, after Jamaine lost the second tooth, we decided to bring her to the dentist.

I wasn’t quite sure how she would react. I remember going to the dentist when I was a kid and how horrible it was because the dentist scraped and poked at my gums at teeth. Not fun at all.

This time, I thought I could help Jamaine prepare for her first visit and let her know what to expect.

Good thing, one of our storybooks had one about Dora going to the dentist. I told Jamaine, the experience would be just like Dora’s. The dentist will look at her teeth and clean them.

Thanks to this story, Jamaine had a good image of the dentist.

“Mommy, will my teeth grow back?” Jamaine asked.

“It will,” I said. “That’s why we have to go to the dentist. Let’s listen to what he says. He will also help you make your other teeth stronger.”

The visit

The dentist was hubby’s cousin so that worked in our favor as well. He wasn’t a pediatric dentist, but he was good with kids and he had a gentle way about him.

Before he used any of his tools, he would explain to Jamaine what it was for and he would constantly reassure her throughout the cleaning process.

Jamaine was behaved the whole time, I was so proud of her.

Jamaine was a good patient.

And when it was Iya’s turn to sit on the dentist’s chair, Jamaine cheered her on and told her, “It’s okay, Iya. It’s okay.”

Brave little girl

My girls came out of the dentist’s clinic with big happy smiles and a reminder from the dentist to always brush their teeth.

Happy teeth!

That worked in my favor. When they’re less than enthusiastic to pick up the toothbrush, I say “Remember when we went to the dentist, he said…” Works every time.

Toothy smile!

When my kids have to go through a new experience, I think the key to reduce resistance is to prepare them for what is going to happen. Reassure them constantly and use stories if you can to illustrate what the experience is like.

If other people are involved, make sure they understand that it’s important to make the experience pleasant, if not enjoyable, for your kids.

Chances are, if they have a good time or if they at least had a pleasant experience, they won’t think twice about going back.

When I was writing the post about Jamaine’s fourth birthday, I found myself going back to my post about her birth story on an old blog which I’ve reposted here.

And I thought, this is why I blog: I want to have something to remind me about things I want to remember.

Like how we celebrated the big girl’s fourth birthday with a little bit of shopping and a lot of eating. I could tell she was happy to go out on a family date again.

Jamaine in 3D

My little girl likes to put on different looks now. This is her latest one.

The Kalia look

I’m all for focusing on the present moment. But sometimes, it’s good to remember where you’ve been so you can appreciate how far you’ve gone. And when I see how my kids have grown up, I’m amazed every time.

I’m thrilled at the thought of my children reading how they first came into the world. How they were when they were kids. How they grew up. I can imagine it now, all of us huddled in front of the laptop, reading stories on Mommy’s blog.

Yeah, that would be fun.

My eyes tear up as I read her birth story again. Has it really been four years?

Jamaine at 2 days!

I remember the day she was born and how amazed I was at the fragile little baby nestled in my arms. Did I really help bring this baby to life?

I remember the cheerful mornings when she would wake up with a smile, the sleepless nights when she would fidget and cry.

I remember feeling blue when I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of taking care of a baby. I remember feeling bliss knowing that I love her and she loves me.

I remember wishing that she’d grow up just a little bit faster so we can walk together, eat together, read together and tell each other stories.

My little big girl is four!

She’s smart, funny, talented, beautiful, healthy and loving. We do the things I’d wished we would do together and so much more.

Our firstborn Liana Jamaine is now a little lady.

I continue to be amazed at how strong she is and how she’s growing up each day.

Gone are the sleepless nights but we’ve got plenty of cheerful mornings when we wake up with a smile.

And while sometimes, I still feel a bit overwhelmed at being a mother, I am happier each day knowing we’re making more memories together.

She’s starting school in June which marks another milestone in her life. I am grateful that we can send her to a great school and I can be there for her.

Yes, it’s been four wonderful years and sometimes, I still tear up when I see her acting all grown up and independent.

I’m excited to see what’s in store for my little big girl. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy and I’ll remember every day, every moment I get to spend with her.

It all started with a slight thud. Jamaine was looking inside one of the cabinet drawers when she smashed her mouth into the rim.

She was crying as she showed me her injured gum. The tooth that was right smack at the center was shaking a little bit. I told her to be more careful and to try to ignore her shaking tooth.

Number one

Fast forward a few weeks, Jamaine was playing with Kalia when she bumped her mouth into Kalia’s head. Don’t ask me how, I didn’t see how it happened because I was taking a bath at that time and the girls were having rough play with their dad.

Jamaine was crying as she showed me the tooth in her hand still covered with blood. We let her gargle some distilled water and the bleeding stopped.

I assured her that her tooth will grow back and she still looks beautiful. I also told her we’ll give her tooth to the tooth fairy. Maybe she’ll give you a gift, I said.

We watched Fairytopia a few weeks before and one of the characters there, the puffball Pibble, also lost his tooth and the fairy gave him a cupcake as a gift.

Jamaine said she only wanted a cupcake.

One day, I told Jamaine we were going to church and she asked me why we needed to go.

“We’ll go to church to pray for our family that we’ll always be safe and healthy. How about you what do you want to pray for?” I asked.

“How about we pray for my tooth to grow back,” she said.

Number two

A few weeks later, Jamaine lost another front tooth. The culprit: Kalia’s head.

We were at the tiangge and they were running around when they bumped into each other.

We could only come up with theories why Jamaine’s gums and teeth seem to be a bit weak.

The only logical explanation I could think of was she didn’t like brushing her teeth with toothpaste. Sometimes I could sneak in a few swipes of toothpaste on her toothbrush but most of the time she would wash it off right away.

Sometimes, she would be too shy to smile, perhaps feeling awkward about missing two front teeth.

I just saw to it that everyone in the house avoided talking about her teeth unless she asks about it. I wanted her to feel that it wasn’t such a big deal, that her teeth would, in fact, grow back.

I also reminded her that she needed to brush her teeth with toothpaste if she wanted the remaining ones to stay strong. Well, at least for the next two to three years when milk teeth is usually expected to fall off.

Our next step was to go to the dentist to have her teeth and gums checked. I knew this one was something we needed to prepare for. It would be her first visit to the dentist and I wanted to make sure it was a good one.

Has your baby ever lost a tooth prematurely? What did you do?

Next up: The first visit to the dentist

My youngest Kalia and I woke up early this morning, so we decided to get some breakfast and let big sister Jamaine get more sleep. After we went down, our helper made her way up to our room to clean.

“You have to be very quiet. Jamaine is still sleeping,” Kalia warns her.

The little one loves her big sister.

My hubby comes home with a bouquet of beautiful pink roses for Valentine’s day. I place it high up on my desk, away from little petal-picking hands.

A few minutes later, Kalia is crying as she desperately tries to reach for the flowers. Seeing the little one’s futile attempts, Jamaine hugs her and tries to comfort her.

“Mommy says those flowers are just for decorations. It’s okay, we’ll go outside to pick flowers later,” Jamaine tells her.

The big sister loves the little one.

I live for moments like these when I see my girls looking out for each other. I just know that as they grow up, they’ll be each other’s bestest friend, comforter, protector. Soul sisters.