The Adventures of Orangeboy And His Antagonists!

Pictures Aren't Necessary

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:48:00 +0000

For Christmas, Orangeboy received The Manga Guide to Databases, among other things. He spent most of Christmas day with his face in this book. I finally asked him what he thought about his new book on databases and his assessment was, "Well, I don't care much for the graphics, but it is very informative."

Yes, people, this manual on a tediously boring subject is illustrated with exciting anime characters in a comic book style in order to make it more palatable to the average young reader, and Orangeboy prefers a focus on just the dry information. It shouldn't be surprising that his second favorite tome is a thick old book about Chess strategy. He has read it many times and has become a pretty good Chess player, but he doesn't play often. He isn't really enamored of the game itself - just the rules and strategy.

The good news is that he is actually creating some databases. I'm not sure exactly what he's doing, but it's something about all of his video games and all the rules, characters, points, levels, bonuses, etc, etc...

And he said something about creating a database for his closet so that he never runs out of hangers and makes sure that he always gets every item back from the laundry room. I think he is forging ahead with one even though I told him it might be bad idea to track his laundry, unless he is going to start doing the laundry himself.

Holiday gift guide: Books about autism

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:20:00 +0000

Holiday gift guide: Books about autism from the Washington Times Communities

Also: All Cats Have Aspergers Syndrome, Kathy Hoopman is a sweet photo book explanation of Aspergers.

Is this about bullies again?

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 14:16:00 +0000

This isn't really about bullies the way you might think. It's more about the public service that a certain amount of what might be called bullying can provide the child who is a little - shall we say - "Out of Sync" with the rest.

I know - shocking. With all the victim tragedies out there and all the prevention campaigns, this may not be the time to appear to defend bullying. Actually, as a past victim of bullies myself, I'm rather grateful for the efforts made to unearth this scourge in our schools and for the actions being taken to prevent bullying - for the most part. But the other day something happened that made me think; could this anti-bullying campaign go too far; just like the zero tolerance policy for weapons did? Do you remember news stories about young students being suspended, expelled, or even arrested for bringing pocket knives or toy guns to school? It makes me wonder, will we hear of students being harshly disciplined for so-called bullying if they so much as point and laugh at a fellow student whose behavior is beyond the pale?

If you were an elementary or middle school student with a classmate who consistently behaved in ways that made you uncomfortable, what would you do? Point and snicker? Elbow your friend and whisper, "Check out the weirdo"? Maybe you would be bothered enough to say something to the oddly-behaving peer like; "Hey Goof! Cut it out!"

Maybe it would be better to studiously ignore the odd kid? But could you be accused of bullying if he noticed you and others were purposely ignoring him?

All these thoughts came to me when I was driving up to retrieve my three students from school the other day. As I followed the line of cars up the parking lot to the covered walkway behind the school where all the car-riders wait, I spotted Orangeboy lying flat on his back on the sidewalk. He wasn't actually lying completely flat on his back. He was wearing his backpack on his back and so he was technically lying on top of that. He appeared to be talking or singing to himself. He then rolled on his side, jumped up and with a big goofy grin on his face, he began swinging around a pole by one arm. I noticed that all the other students standing around were not looking at him or saying anything to him. I decided it was odd that none of them reacted in what I would have thought was a normal way for young teens to react to that sort of display of social cluelessness. I concluded that either all of Orangeboy's peers are suffering from a similar state of social isolation, or they had been so thoroughly indoctrinated against bullying that they couldn't even point and snicker for fear of being accused.

When he hopped into the car, I asked Orangeboy why he was lying on the sidewalk; which is, afterall, designed primarily for walking and not for lounging. He told me he wasn't. I told him he WAS, I saw him.

He said, "Oh."

I guess nobody actually noticed his odd positioning on the sidewalk, including Orangeboy himself. Which brings me back to the teasing or taunting that could be called bullying; it could have helped Orangeboy. I'm merely claiming that if a fellow student had made Orangeboy aware that his behavior was not acceptable for a cool middle school guy, Orangeboy might be more alert to the fact that he probably should remain standing in a casual slouch while waiting for his Mom to pick him up after school.

A little peer pressure can go a long way. A lot of repeated pressure from some peers can be bullying. I hope we don't get the two confused because I hear that future employers can be rather judgmental about such things as lying down on the job.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back..Into.. Ughh!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:24:00 +0000

After years of practically force-feeding Orangeboy, his appetite has finally made an appearance!  He is eating more and eating faster.  If he keeps it up he might manage to gain some weight!

I don't know if he is suddenly a foodie due to a tweak in his medication or if he is just making a first swing around to prepare for landing in adolescence. Either way, it's mostly a good thing. I have experienced very few withdrawal symptoms since I quit mealtime coaching cold turkey.
"Eat! Chew! Now swallow! Eat some more! You don't have to chew mashed potatoes that much; swallow and eat some more! Everyone else is long finished and I'm ready to clean up."
"No, you are not full! You've hardly eaten anything. EAT!"

I know I'm not supposed to cheer for medication, but I hope this appetite is a long term thing and not a temporary situation - like a little growth spurt.   Don't get me wrong, growth spurts are good, but Orangeboy needs to fill out AND sprout up. In the past he has just sprouted up and only looked more stretched out. And I'm not against skinny either. Even though skinny is way in the minority these days, even among children, I'm all for it.   Antagonist Brother is skinny and us parental figures were both skinny - at one point in our lives.   So it's fine for Orangeboy to be skinny, but he is beyond skinny. As I've said before, I'm afraid people will look at him and his antagonists and assume that he's the one I keep in the closet and just feed crackers and water.

However, there was an "incident". The increased appetite has not meant that Orangeboy is now a good judge of how much he should eat.   A couple of weekends ago we had some people over for a Fall festival of sorts. We had lots of food laid out and I had a big tray of hotdogs for all the kiddies to enjoy. In the past, I would have had to watch after Orangeboy during any buffet or grazing situation or he wouldn't eat at all.   This time around was very different.   I saw him get a couple of hot dogs (turkey, no nitrates), but I did not see him go back and do the same thing two more times.    Later I found a mysterious little mess on the floor with a throw pillow on top of it.  I assumed that the three year old son of one of my guests had a little spit up accident and just covered it up, so I cleaned it up quickly and didn't say anything.   I learned the truth the next morning when my husband pointed at Orangeboy and asked, "Did you know he ate SIX hotdogs yesterday? And then he threw up?"

Brother had ratted him out. And that explained the gross mess I had to clean up; which was somehow grosser now that I knew it wasn't a preschooler but a preteen who had done it. So Orangeboy got the riot act about hiding his "indiscretions" and some instruction on eating "reasonable" quantities; but I also had to praise him for eating at all and not trying to starve himself.

-Just more of the contradictory nature of living with Orangeboy.

And you think you've got it bad!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:53:00 +0000

Orangeboy has joined the band. He's playing trumpet and his sister is going to play flute. We're talking about Beginning Band where they have not taken previous lessons or had any previous musical experience. The reality is, that at this point, they are only taking a class about band and not actually playing in a band yet. They took their instruments to school for the first time on Monday. Currently the class is learning how to take care of their instruments by not dropping them, tossing them into bookbags, hitting people with them or playing parade in the parking lot. They are also learning fingerings and how to play a so-called tuning note.

The rest of the class may be just fingering around, but that hasn't stopped Orangeboy from being a good band member for the last two weeks. He has "practiced" on his trumpet every day for 30 minutes. No, he hasn't learned to play a scale, or different notes, or read music; but he blows on his trumpet each afternoon for 30 conscientious minutes. I think he has mastered the blaring sound.

I sure hope they learn a scale soon.

Beware the Fowl Artemis, Butthead!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:55:00 +0000

Orangeboy reads all sorts of fantasy lit these days. It surprises me. As a younger reader he only seemed to "get" nonfiction. He didn't like nor understand made up stuff that didn't make sense. He might ask questions like;
"I don't get it. Why would a monkey be so curious? Why don't they keep him in a cage?"
"How could a treehouse fly to the moon? - There's no oxygen." or
"That doesn't make sense - the witches fly with BROOMS?"
I admit, sometimes he wasn't quite that articulate, but I know that what he was trying to ask when he tilted his head, made a puckered frown, and growled.

But now that he is in Middle School, he has suddenly taken up reading fantasy literature and books about Greek mythology. I'm fairly certain he doesn't take these stories as being real or even possible, and I suppose it's a good thing that he can accept imaginary scenarios and not get tripped up in the improbable details, but something happened yesterday that forced me to ponder whether this type of literature is not problematic for Orangeboy.

He is currently reading the Artemis Fowl series in which the hero is actually an anti-hero. He's a teenage criminal mastermind. That in itself is a concern since Orangeboy is known to not-so-secretly harbor the ambition to become a evil mastermind himself. The most pressing problem at the moment; however, is that Orangeboy lives in a cuss-free zone - i.e. a Christian family living in a rural area of the Bible Belt, USA.; plus his grandmother is very uptight and his school frowns on that sort of thing - and the Artemis Fowl series contains some ~~fowl~~ foul language. Orangeboy isn't very prudent in his adoption and use of phrases and words he learns while reading or listening. In third grade he got into a bit of trouble for using a word in class that the teacher wouldn't even spell back to me. It was obviously a very bad, bad word for these parts, so I'm guessing it started with "s" or even (gasp) "f"!
Thankfully, he didn't catch much trouble because his teacher understood that Orangeboy is a little extra-unordinary.

And so, taking his cue from Artemis Fowl, Orangeboy once again lets loose with some indiscreet language by telling his brother to "Go to Hell" at breakfast yesterday. He was swiftly corrected by his Father, along the lines of;
"WHAT did you just say?! I had BETTER not EVER hear you say that to anybody again."

Later, I felt that is would be helpful to give Orangeboy a good reason for this strong rule; even though explaining semantics and context is almost impossible to do and make it sound rational. But just as Orangeboy has learned to accept the improbable and silly in literature; he seems to be more accepting of rules that are rules just because they are. He accepted with bowed head my simple explanation that "We don't use that phrase because it is a specific curse basically telling someone to go to eternal damnation and that is a very mean thing to say".

It's less mean just to say, "Shut up! Your breath smells like butt!", but not in front of your grandmother.

I will never misuse Tae Kwon Do

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 02:15:00 +0000

I signed all of us up for Tae Kwon Do training. Orangeboy wasn't sure about it at first, but after a couple of classes he was all in. It's perfect. There's memorization, rules, a reward system (belt rankings), and he always knows exactly how he should dress. I am also inclined to believe that he has realized that mastering a martial art could be helpful in his overall Evil Plan for World Domination.

Orangeboy memorized all the moves in the first form before any of the rest of us had it down. His exact form within each move within the "form"; however, needs work. Orangeboy still tends to be a bit hypotonal and his kicks look less like disabling weapons and more like he's flinging a wet noodle. Hopefully, his enthusiasm for earning belts will inspire him to practice repeatedly and get some exercise and maybe gain a little muscle tone. I realize that an Evil Genius only needs a big head, but the ability to do a little butt-kicking of the minions couldn't hurt. However, there could be a problem with the student oath; which he hasn't learned yet.

Student Oath

I shall observe the tenets of Taekwon-Do.

I shall respect the instructor and seniors.

I shall never misuse Taekwon-Do.

I shall be a champion of freedom and justice.

I shall build a more peaceful world.

Curses! Foiled again!

Din-din-din! It's Middle School!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 14:01:00 +0000

It's been a steamy summer and it's not over yet - but at least school has started back! : )
Yes, as you may recall, Orangeboy and Sister are in middle school now, joining their older brother. They are in separate classes and on separate halls; so Sister is happy.
Although, at Orientation, we still had the annual, "Are they twins?" "NO we're not!" Event.

Orangeboy and Sister are going to be starting in the band this year. (Separate band classes, too.)
Sister likes the flute and Orangeboy has been pushed into percussion - by me, his loving and attentive Mom. I thought percussion instruments would suit him best since he seems to be tone deaf in both his speaking and singing voice, and he has always enjoyed banging on trees with sticks. In fact, we brought him home from China in that condition. Back then his stick hammer spoke Chinese,
"Din-din-din! Din-din-din!"
But now it speaks for itself with a nice, satisfying "thwack!"
I think he'll do well with the drums.

The sixth grade administration and teachers were prepared for Orangeboy and his sister, who are both visually impaired. I was pleasantly surprised that a public school actually did what they should do and reviewed their records before school started and got ready. The sixth grade counselor even gave me a call over Summer break. So at Orientation, even though they didn't know that the kids are not twins and are not biologically related to me or each other, they did know that they were the visually impaired students they were ~~fearing~~ expecting. The kids have the tools they need and seem to be having a smooth start to the school year.

Orangeboy does have one little challenge at lunch. The lunch procedure involves everyone going to the cafeteria and sitting down, and then they are called by class and by menu preference to come through the line, one group at a time. Because Orangeboy has some filtering difficulties, he has trouble hearing his class and lunch menu preference being called out over the hubbub of the students around him. Orangeboy's Antagonists say that the guy calling out is very loud, but Orangeboy insists he should speak up.
We may have to find a method for Orangeboy to better deal with the lunchroom chaos.

So here's to surviving Middle School! - and not losing any weight.

I Insist That You Come To School Partially Clothed!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Mon, 16 May 2011 15:27:00 +0000

Orangeboy said his teacher "insisted" that they wear their bathing suits this morning. It was 58 F this morning. Orangeboy is traumatically cold natured and yet, he wore his bathing suit. Today is AR reward day and there is a "Beach Party" for the students who met their Advanced Reading (AR) goal this semester. What this really means is that they will go outside for an hour or so and play on inflatable bounce houses and slides; including one slide that has water flowing down it.   I was given a memo that said boys were allowed to wear swim shorts with a shirt and girls could wear their bathing suits under clothes.   They could also take a change of clothes in the event that they got wet at the "Beach Party".

Last night, I told Orangeboy that it was going to be unseasonably chilly for their "Beach Party" morning and that he might consider avoiding the waterslide since he is so cold natured and would surely end up quaking like a leaf in a storm if he got wet. I didn't think to tell him that if he wasn't getting wet, he wouldn't necessarily have to wear his swim shorts. Neither did I think to tell him to be sure and wear his jeans over his swim shorts, if he chose to wear them, so he wouldn't be cold on the way to school.   Last year, we went over this aspect of dressing for the same event and I didn't realize we needed to review.

I didn't see him until I was walking out to the car; since Father-figure is responsible for making sure the gang of three gets ready and I am responsible for getting myself ready and driving them to school.   Father-figure often fails to notice little details about Orangeboy's appearance and wardrobe misjudgements. So I see Orangeboy getting into the car wearing a swimguard shirt and swim shorts with his bluing arms and legs sticking out in the morning chill. This is when I questioned him and was told that his teacher had "insisted" that they wear their swim suits in the morning.

I am certain that Orangeboy's teacher simply wanted her students to understand that they could come dressed for the "Beach Party" and just change into dry clothes after, rather than having to change twice. Given that the morning temperature started out in the 50s, I'm sure she wouldn't have been upset to see students wearing appropriate clothes, either over swimwear or instead of. But this is Orangeboy's latest rule-sy thing. He throws in that "insist" whenever someone gives advice or instructions without prefacing with "In my opinion, you may want to..." or without giving a list of possible exceptions; such as:

"In my opinion, you should wear your swimsuits in the morning, since we will be going out to the "Beach Party" early in the day. Then you can just change afterwards.   Of course, you may choose to wear clothes without a swimsuit and you can still bring a change in case you need them. You can also choose not to get wet and then you won't need to wear a swimsuit or change. It's up to you and your parents and what you think is best for you."

The world sure would be a lot wordier if Orangeboy were running things. Although the word "implication" means nothing to him.

Not good at real life

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 18:11:00 +0000

Orangeboy and Sister were discussing questions that gave them trouble on the CRCT. Father-figure and I told them that some questions would probably be thrown out because they were there as trial questions. Why tried to convince them that questions that were worded poorly or were too confusing might not count.
Orangeboy was still very concerned about a math question he probably got wrong. I assume this is because he was aiming for a perfect score on the math portion. He considers himself a math genius and future math teacher.

The subject of the discussion was a word problem about estimating measurements. According to Orangeboy it was worded something like this:
"Lisa wants to make three batches of pancakes. Approximately how much milk would she use?
A. 36 cups
B. 36 ounces
C. 36 quarts
D. 36 gallons

Orangeboy thought she would use 36 cups of milk. He reasoned that a "batch" means a lot of pancakes and three batches would be many, many pancakes. Sister said she thought about it and decided that 36 ounces would probably be enough. I confirmed that the answer was, surely, 36 ounces because it really didn't take much milk for one batch of pancakes and 36 ounces would be over 4 cups of milk. You wouldn't need more than that unless you were cooking for an army or the whole school. Orangeboy's brother also confirmed that Orangeboy was wrong by laughing.
Orangeboy's response: "Well, I'm not too good at things that have to do with real life."

Yes, we know.

He's a genius on paper, but when it comes to real life application of learning; he'd rather play a video game.

CRCT! When I say CRCT, you say fun!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 15:02:00 +0000

The CRCT test is here! My three students will get an entire week of standardized testing! After that, the school year is essentially over. There will be another week of school, a week of Spring Break, and then another month of school before summer vacation; but, essentially, after the CRCT test is done - what's the point? In Georgia, everything seems to ride on the CRCT results. Teachers have to make sure those CRCT standards are taught and cemented into their students' hard heads so that the school can meet state standards and AYP (the federal guidelines for Adequated Yearly Progress). And in 3rd, 5th and 8th grades, students must pass the CRCT to advance to the next grade level.

Orangeboy and (not-twin!) Sister are both in 5th grade this year. They will have no problem passing the CRCT with flying colors. In fact, Orangeboy looks forward to the CRCT every year. I assume this is because he gets to show his stuff and there will be a set of numerical scores on permanent record to prove how smart he really is. I can understand how seeing his good scores and high percentile ranking could be a ego boost for him, but I'm not so sure they are as valuable as he wants to believe. In the long run of life, Orangeboy may do better to focus less on grades and more on learning some of the rules and skills that he thinks are so arbitrary and useless; like social skills and manners. High test scores might make him a teacher favorite and get him a scholarship to a good college, but if he shows up at a job interview improperly dressed and picking at himself - the dumber candidate with people skills and fashion sense will probably get the job. Unless he wants to work at a nuclear plant in Japan.

His prospects weren't looking good on the first day of CRCT testing. As we were leaving the house, I noticed he was drooling. I scolded him and his siblings replied, "He always does that in the morning."
I am well aware that he tends to neglect to swallow his saliva during the earliest part of the day before his brain enhancing meds kick in, but my hope springs eternal that he will learn to take more care.
However, I was slightly chagrined when Orangeboy also defended himself by grumbling,
"It doesn't HELP. It just keeps coming back!"

I'm considering formulating a multiple choice test that I can use to ensure he meets Annual Yearly Progress in social/self-awareness skills.

Question 1:
You are still feeling a little sleepy as you get dressed for school in the morning. Which would be the best method to ensure that you get ready on time and aren 't scolded:
A) Breathe deeply, stretch, and keep moving through your morning routine
B) Yell insults and "jokes" about your sister so she will help you wake up by hitting you in the head
C) Sob loudly
D) Pull on your clothes, skip breakfast, and go sit in the car and drool

Time for a tricho-tillo trim

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 03:59:00 +0000

I let Orangeboy's hair get too long. It seems that hair hanging in his eyes triggers a bit of trichotillomania, and in a matter of a few days he managed to create a little bald spot on his crown.
When his hair starts getting a bit long, he tends to start playing with his bangs. He will gather his bangs together as if preparing to put in a forehead pigtail, but will just keep gathering and holding the hair for awhile. If he is idle and frustrated for a little longer, his hands will migrate back from his bangs to the crown and he gathers a small group of hairs and twists them until they come out. When I tell him to stop he stops, but starts up again when I'm not watching - I suppose.
He cleared an area over an inch square in a day, so tonight I had to trim his bangs for him until I can take him to get a proper hair cut. When the weather is warm I use electric clippers and keep his hair quite short, but he claims to like his hair longer in the winter. It seems like he only feels compelled to pull and twist his hair when he can see it, because he doesn't do it when his hair is short.
Now and then I have seen him plucking at his eyelashes, but not many times and, as of yet, he has not ever cleared his lids of lashes.

Poor Orangeboy! If it's not one thing to pick at - it's another.

On the other hand, maybe he is just developing a strong desire to be like his Dad. He has created the same scalp pattern and, now that I think about, Orangeboy has been barking "WHAT?!" just about every time I say anything to him.

Hmmm......

We're Back and NOT Hiding!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 05:25:00 +0000

Wishing you a happy and well-adjusted year in 2011!
I can't believe I haven't posted since November. I guess you could say I took the holiday season off. This seems like the holiday that never ends. The kids were out of school for two and a half weeks and finally went back for just four days before getting two "snow days" off. We actually have ice and not snow. We are just below the snow line. When the "Deep South" gets snow, we get flurries that don't stick or freezing rain and ice. This time around; however, a good portion of the state got ice. Interstate highways are shut down and we are iced in. Even when I walked out to the barn to feed the animals, ice froze on the bottom of my boots (which are more fashionable than functional)and I nearly busted my butt when I stepped back into the carport.

Orangeboy has enjoyed his time off; although his mood these days is more subdued or negative than silly, and he was quite bored while visiting family at my Aunt's house. Even so, he always appreciates opportunities to sleep very late and spend hours on his computer or playing Wii games. He did take some breaks to play someone in Chess or Stratego.

As usual, Orangeboy didn't know what he wanted for Christmas and when the day finally came, he didn't seem overly thrilled with most of his gifts. He said his favorite gift was the gift from Brother, which was a package of 48 AA batteries. He uses those in the Wii remotes and uses far too many. I can't keep up with the rechargeable batteries even.

I don't play Wii games much, but the kid got me into Tetris during the long New Year's weekend. Those repetitive strategy games are surprisingly addictive. I see why Orangeboy uses up so many batteries.

Today, while we were all iced in together, the Father-figure organized a game of indoor hide-and-seek. I was like Really? Two eleven year olds, and a twelve year old are going to play indoor hide-and-seek with their father? But they did. And Orangeboy hates to be the seeker.

I was not involved in the game. I was upstairs in my room putting away clean clothes when Brother runs in and tries to crawl under the bed.
"You're still trying to hide?", I asked, as I knew the counting had ended a couple of minutes ago.
Brother hurried out of the room to find a better place to hide. A minute later, Orangeboy peers in at me. I suggested he try the closet.
"Get in there in the back and scrunch up in the corner under the clothes. No one will see you there. Hurry!"
Orangeboy walks into my closet and looks under the hanging clothes.
"Get under there! No, no, get on your hands and knees and back in. Sit back. Scoot!"
When I had him successfully scrunched in the corner of the closet, I hurried out so I wouldn't give away his position. And then I hear Orangeboy's muffled voice say,
"I'm SEEKING."

Now he tells me!

Loving school lunch

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 15:59:00 +0000

It is still perplexing to me the way Orangeboy sorts his priorities. What excites him as opposed to what doesn't seems random. The last two days he has mentioned repeatedly that he is going to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE lunch at school on Wednesday. It SUPER SACK LUNCH DAY! Why in the world is he so excited about a sack lunch? I asked him. He told me that he liked the sandwich. He likes the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Okay. It's not like he can't get that at home. I even allow him to take his lunch when he can't or won't eat what the school has on the menu.

I guess a lunch that you don't have to make for yourself just tastes that much better. I get it; except, that this sort of brings me to another seeming Orangeboy contradiction. He can't sit still, he runs or scuttles everywhere he goes, he gripes about boredom if he doesn't have anything to do.... he's hyper and yet -
lazy? He's hyper and busy, but possibly so lazy that the thought of having a sack lunch he likes that he doesn't have to make for himself is enough to keep him running in a cycle of anticipation for two days?

Yes, this is the kind of stuff I stumble over all the time when it comes to trying to understand Orangeboy.

ADHD is...

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 01:10:00 +0000

ADHD isn't a kid that's hyper or extra energetic and loud.

ADHD is....
A car with no brakes or air filter. It can't stop itself and it will eventually start smoking and break down. It must be stopped by an outside force or barrier. It needs more regular maintenance and oil changes than most cars.

ADHD is... like a computer with bugs in the operating system. Some programs work great and others keep locking up or just opening multiple tabs and going out of control. Sometimes it's just incompatible with your favorite applications.

ADHD is...a brain with no traffic cop or city government. Nobody to keep the rest of the brain and body organized and safe. No "stop!" No "yield". No "caution". No zoning laws. No ordinances to prevent nuisance behavior or destructive acts.

ADHD is...being on an emotional roller coaster - up and down, swooping from exhilarating highs to stomach dropping lows.

ADHD is... the almost continuous frustration of misplaced objects, forgotten tasks, tearful searches, lost possessions.

ADHD is... a kid who is annoying in a way that is hard to describe. Maybe it's the constant fidgetting, long periods of incessant talking on random topics, or having to repeat news, schedules and rules again and again.

ADHD is...a difficult partner who pushes for excitement and activity. A constant companion who brings out his best and his worst. An opportunity for success as a high energy, innovative, creative entrepreneur or artist.

ADHD is maddening and hilarious!
ADHD IS REAL!

Aspergers and Speech Problems

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 01:51:00 +0000

See how complicated it is to explain Orangeboy's speech problems? When a traditional testing method is used to determine if he needs speech services, he passes. But he still sounds a bit like a monotone Elmer Fudd at times. Then other times he channels Porky Pig. He tends to answer questions with WAY too many details and he ducks his head so it is difficult to hear him or determine to whom he is addressing his speech.
I knew I wasn't making this up!

My Aspergers Child: Aspergers Children and Speech Problems: "Approximately 50% of kids with Aspergers have delayed speech. While many kids grow out of this by age five, others go on to experience other..."

Pronunciation and Planning

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 02:20:00 +0000

Today Orangeboy told us that he made 100 on his "Language Chameleonist Test". It sure is a good thing that it wasn't an oral test that required being able to properly pronounce "Cumulative Language Test".

On the other hand, for Science, his ADHD kicked in and he may not get 100 on the project that was due today. He had a week to do the project and waited until the day before to tell me he needed some reference information, as well as two photos and a map. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to go back to the library and I couldn't get the home printer to work. So he wrote the report using the information he got from the internet, while crying about not having pictures and a map.

He'll turn in the pics and map next week and only get a few points off.

Poor kid, he has it rough sometimes.

My Aspergers Child: Aspergers Subtypes: Rule-Oriented, Logic-Oriented ...

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 02:14:00 +0000

My Aspergers Child: Aspergers Subtypes: Rule-Oriented, Logic-Oriented ...: "It is important to recognize that each Aspergers youngster is different, with his or her own unique set of issues. No two are exactly the sa..."

This article gives me a lot of clarity. It's great that there is so much insight into Aspergers "these days".
The three main Aspergers subtypes are explained:
The Rule-Oriented Child, the Logic-Oriented Child, and the Emotion-Oriented Child.
Additionally, several individual subtypes exist under each of the three main Asperger types.

I would say Orangeboy is the Rules Oriented type. The subtypes that also apply to him are, of course, ADHD with a tendency toward OCD behaviors and some paranoid anxiety.

This helps me see much more clearly why Orangeboy is so perfect at school and so silly, emotional or bossy at home. Why he tends to react toward me as if I'm some sort of heavy-weight bully and yet he argues and cries at his Dad almost daily.
In his eyes, I am the ruling authority at home. He is a little paranoid that I am out to "get him" or at least, catch him breaking rules. That's why he jumps and stops whatever he is doing or saying almost every time I walk into the room. (Which drives me crazy!)
His Dad is a little more relaxed at home and is ready to play, engage in silliness, or maybe ask the kids to help with some task or project. Orangeboy doesn't know Dad's "rules" and is not sure what they are going to be doing together. I think this is contributing to his tendency to get frustrated, emotional, or sassy with his Dad. When Dad gives him instructions he often argues or just starts to cry. It took me awhile to decide that he wasn't afraid of his Dad as an intimidating male authority. That's not it at all. He is frustrated as to what the rules of interacting with Dad are. Sometimes Dad teases and plays and sometimes he gives an instruction and expects respectful compliance.

Bossiness with his peers in play or social situations, but good cooperation during group activities at school seem contradictory until you realize that in school he is confident about the rules and expectations; whereas he is trying to create rules and gain control in the freer social situation.

Contradictory behavior is now made much clearer. Thanks to the Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook!

You're just USING Potter!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:42:00 +0000

Orangeboy and his focus on numbers - scores, measurements, Sodoku - is getting fairly predictable but is still amusing. This morning he announced that he had 78 advanced reading (AR) points. His goal for this semester was only 30, so I asked him how he got so many points. He said he had been reading "Harry Potter" books. He added that the Harry Potter books give lots of points - and that is all he had to say about them.

I can't help but think of all the book clubs, fan sites and preteens who couldn't shut up about the series, who know Hogwarts school motto, the names of each "house", and the rules of Quidditch. How horrified would they be to know that Orangeboy is reading the series for the extra AR points? Surely it is blasphemous to read this series without becoming a ravenous Potter fan!

Orangeboy has read three books from the series and shows absolutely no effects from the exposure! It is extraordinary.

The Tooth Fairy is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:36:00 +0000

How is it that my son can call church "a big trick" and maybe not believe in God; despite going to Sunday school and church every week, and knowing details about Bible stories that most adults don't remember, and yet still believe in The Tooth Fairy?   Is this madness or just a difficulty in distinquishing fantasy from reality that many kids raised on television and Asperger's supposedly possess?

It is another one of those things that I can't figure about Orangeboy. He so often seems doubtful and untrusting. He questions my authority, as a parent, and the level of care he can expect from me. He pouts and stalls when he thinks I am wrong or asking him to do something unreasonably dangerous - like take out the garbage. And whereas, my oldest son, who has severe food allergies, will trust the foods that I, his mother, present to him; Orangeboy, with his milk allergy, will sometimes question me.
"Are you sure this doesn't have milk in it?" or even, "I don't want that, it might have milk in it."

"Son, I am your MOTHER! I KNOW you have an allergy to milk and I READ the ingredients on EVERYTHING!"

And yet, this same boy believes this hoccum about The Tooth Fairy that I have perpetuated. You may fault me for basically lying to a boy who has trust issues; but in my defense, I have never insisted that The Tooth Fairy is real. I merely read a book to the children when they were very young that told the legend of the The Tooth Fairy and then encouraged them to leave each lost baby tooth under the pillow to see if The Tooth Fairy left them money.

I never said, "The Tooth Fairy will leave you money if you put your tooth under the pillow."
I suggested they try it, and when some small change was discovered instead of the tooth on a subsequent morning, the children chose to believe.   Eventually, my oldest son began to get wise to the possibility that a parent could and would perpetuate a deception upon a child for the sake of fun and deniable generosity.
I feel that his younger sister is also getting suspicious and is just playing along to ensure the continued flow of funds as long as she has teeth to lose. (And she seems to be part shark at this point.)
Orangeboy has taken a completely different psychological path - as he so often does. He stopped announcing the occasion of a lost tooth around a year ago. He managed to pull or lose two or three teeth without any outward signs of the losses.   I have discerned that he placed at least one tooth under his pillow in secret. The Tooth Fairy money did not show up.   And his conclusion has been verbalized as such:
"The Tooth Fairy does not come to our house anymore because SHE (indicating part-shark sister) loses too many teeth!"

Inexplicable, Orangeboy.    Next, I'm going to tell him the legend of The Dangerous Girlfriends.

Oh, stop your yapping before I puncture your tire!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:17:00 +0000

Orangeboy still has the tendency to talk to adults as if he is their employer.   I just can't get him to understand or accept the role of "deferential child".   Last week I had to check him out of class and take him to a dental appointment.   He came out of the school slowly and grumbling. He didn't say anything to me on the ride to the dental office.   On the way in he tripped on the concrete ramp to the door.
He growled, "THIS should be better marked!"
He made a face at the hygienist when she asked if he was ready.   When the cleaning was finished and his teeth had been inspected by the Dentist, the Hygienist came out to the waiting room and, chuckling, told me that Orangeboy had requested his next appointment not be during school hours or "at least not so close to lunch".
This was pretty much a moot request because I was the one who had scheduled the appointment. Also, appointments have to be made months in advance and sometimes one has to take what is available. I was a little miffed at Orangeboy's Mister Bossy-Butt attitude and behavior. Then I started thinking: It's a good thing that Orangeboy is short, skinny and fuzzy-headed.   I imagine that if he were a large, mature eleven-year-old, he wouldn't get the same reactions from people.   In that case, I doubt the hygienist would have found his irritable tone and bossy request to be amusing.
I find him to be rather irritating at times like this, but he is the kind of irritating that is a small, yippy dog and not the kind of irritating that is a neighbor cranking his motorcycle every morning at five am. With a constantly yipping little dog the reaction is "Oh there you go again, just shut it will ya?"
With the cranking neighbor it's a slow boil reaction of building fury until you flip your lid and go over and puncture his tires at 4:30 am.
So even though I often hate that people tolerate and even reinforce Orangeboy's Big Bad Boss behavior with their reactions to his cute smallness; in the long run, it is probably better for him (and his skull) to not be taken too seriously. Although, I suspect that Orangeboy would more likely picture himself as the guy revving up a big Harley in the driveway.

Top Ten Most Memorable

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:04:00 +0000

Memorable Orangeboy Quotes of the Week:

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING!? GO AWAY!"

"Adolf Hitler almost took over the world".

"I am jumping back and forth to regulate my body temperature."
(Jumping repeatedly between hot tub and pool)

"I don't think the Tooth Fairy comes to our house anymore because of her (sister) losing too many teeth."

"Does Aunt N have albinism? She looks like it."
(No. She's just fair.)

"Oh that's not interesting. Who cares about that?"
(Regarding an explanation of a cattle stockyard after HE asked what it was.)

"I think you're right; my glasses are dirty. When I look through my binoculars wearing my glasses, everything looks foggy."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU'RE A CHEATER!!! YOU KEEP DEALING ME BAD CARDS!"

(We should try that in Vegas.)

"Oh Come ON! What's the DEAL!?"
(Every time the clock chimed at Aunt and Uncle's house.)

"Maybe you are farting to try and make me leave, but YOU DON'T FOOL ME WITH YOUR FARTS!"

My personal problems are yours too!

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:34:00 +0000

Social skills is the main area of concern right now with Orangeboy. It really has been for awhile. His personal care skills are pretty good (he can dress himself and sometimes remembers to wipe his nose), his speech is much more intelligible and fluid than it used to be (but he still sounds a bit like Elmer Fudd and adds extraneous words like "although" to the end of many sentences), and he is avoiding bullies at school and making straight A's.   He just doesn't have friends and has little interest in having friends. He is also rather bossy and tends to use a lecturing tone when talking to other kids.

We'll work on all that as we have been by continuing to prompt, go over situations afterwards to clue him in to what was really going on - and what should have happened, and using his siblings as social practice dummies - or something like that. But I, personally, have an even more pressing social issue to take up with Orangeboy.   I need him to understand "venting".   In other words, sometimes people complain in private and wonder why other people do the rude, stupid, or insensitive things they do; but that is in private and should remain private and not be repeated by young children. Young children who eavesdrop on parental venting definitely should NOT go to the ventEE and demand an explanation on behalf of the ventOR!

In order to get Orangeboy to understand this I first have to, again, explain the rather complicated, situational notion of "private".   What is private vs. public?  There's the privacy of your home, the presumed privacy of an intimate conversation, things you do in private, parts of the body that are privates....
Personal details are sometimes kept private but some are just semi-private among family and close friends.
And then there is blogging and Facebook.   It is ever so complicated. A rational, black and white, don't-confuse-me-with-the-details-while-I'm-busy-confusing-you-with-them kind of guy like Orangeboy gets rather frustrated with this kind of social construction.

So far we have been able to come to the understanding that if he is talking to someone and I suddenly interrupt with a hissing "SHUSH!" that he is to stop talking and reassess.
Here's an example of how this works:

In the relative privacy of my own kitchen, I may say something like,
"I can't believe that they ate the special allergen-free cake that I made for the boys before they ate the bakery cake. Now they have all that cake and ice cream leftover and the boys have nothing left they can eat."

Then when Orangeboy next sees "They whom ate the cake" he barks,
"HEY! WHY DID YOU EAT ALL OUR - "

Me: "Sssshuuushhh!"

Him: "Oh."
..........................
Good enough for now.

The Charms and Secrets of Good Conversation

Social Smarts: Manners for Today's Kids

Those are MY Private Parts

Happy Birthday - rogue brain part and all

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:20:00 +0000

Today Orangeboy is enjoying the 11th anniversary of his birth! He is now an official eleven year old.
In anticipation of this milestone event, Orangeboy stuffed a tiny piece of paper in his ear yesterday. There was no apparent reason for it. I asked him why he would do that, after I caught him digging in his ear and got him to admit what he had done.  His answer for why was, "I don't know".   So for no apparent reason, even to Orangeboy himself, he stuck a little piece of paper in his ear and then pushed in so far that he had a devilish time digging it out again. His ear is still red today.    I'm guessing this was his final act of regression before becoming an almost grown boy of eleven. (I would have helped him get it out safely, but I didn't know until too late.)

Often it seems that Orangeboy has this small, primitive portion of his brain that works against him and the rest of his intelligent, rational brain.   Maybe he really doesn't know why he would stuff paper in his ear. I mean, what eleven, or ten, year old DOES THAT?   This is a boy who always makes A's in school and his teachers think he is funny and clever- even if a little socially isolated.   So what would he have been thinking that would make it seem like a clever idea to stuff something in his ear?
I'm guessing nothing. It was not the thinking, reasoning part of his head that told him to do it. It was that little primitive monkeybrain hidden under there that acts when emotions are high - when excitement is in the air - when grand events are being anticipated or participated in -
It is THIS rogue piece of grey matter that drives him to do these little acts of preschooler disgrace. It is triggered by emotion and acts on imitation.

Imitation? What do I mean? Here's the story. A couple of days before, Orangeboy's sister had a little earache after swimming. I put a little home remedy ointment of olive oil and garlic in her ear. And then, because I couldn't find a cotton ball, I put a fairly large wad of paper towel in her outer ear and told her that she should NOT push it in her ear any further and she should leave it for a couple of minutes and then take it out.   She did.   So then yesterday, the kids go to see Toy Story 3 with their cousin and uncle and on the ride back, Orangeboy shoves a tiny ball of paper down his ear canal.

He told me later that the trouble started when he was leaving the movie and then he put the paper in his ear. MY suspicion is that when leaving the movie he was on a sugary concessions/post-3D movie high. His ear may have been a bit sore from wearing the 3D glasses. The rogue brain portion was going into high gear, what with the excitement coupled with a little bit of vague pain, and this piece of paper just presented itself to idle hands in the car. Voila! Monkeybrain strikes again!

OH Orangeboy! Will you ever learn to control this rogue brain of yours?
Probably not completely. The poor guy is MALE after all.

Happy Birthday! And congratulations to Orangeboy for reaching that 50 pounds goal before his birthday!

Verbal apraxia and long meal times?

noreply@blogger.com (China) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 15:52:00 +0000

The below linked post on "Static Vox" is amazingly insightful. If you know a child or adult on the spectrum (or suspected) who has some speaking difficulties or inconsistencies along with clumsiness, weakness, or motor delays, you could probably gain some insight, as I just did, about their struggles.
Link: Behavior in young children with speech disorders of motor planning

Awhile back, I had begun to suspect that hypotonality and maybe motor planning had a lot to do with why Orangeboy eats so very slowly and takes so long to chew and swallow food. After reading the post by StatMama, I'm more convinced than ever. Orangeboy has been labeled mildly hypotonal and he has some speaking issues. He reacts just as Statmama says, in that he doesn't like noisy crowds, stammers and switches words around even though he tests way above his grade level in reading and vocabulary, clams up at times, or gets excessively frustrated when asked to repeat himself.   I think all this is related to why he chews slow and takes awhile to swallow and takes tiny bites or bites that are too big.

I have sat there, at a restaurant, for half an eternity watching Orangeboy eat and wondering why it took him so long to get the food down. I admit I have remarked to him a bit sarcastically that he needs to be aware that he does have teeth which he can use to chew the food. When he chews he seems to be moving his jaw in a sort of half-slack fashion like a cow chewing cud.

I remember a time when I was huddled in a booth in an eating establishment that seemed to have one vent, pointed at me, through which all the cold air from the giant compressor on the roof was being blasted.   Before I slipped into a hypothermic coma, I gritted my teeth and begged Orangeboy to "CHEW! then swallow! CHEW! then swallow! Pl-eee-eeease!!!
I don't want to take him away from his food before he is finished because he is so thin. On the other hand, at home, it is not unusual for him to stay at the table eating for half an hour or longer after everyone else has finished and left. This means the rest of his family is usually faced with the challenge of a long after-meal conversation time whenever we eat out. It is not that unusual for our server to stop by a couple of times to make sure "everything is all right" and then for the manager to do the same.
From their perspective they have a table of five staying way past their expected allotment of time, with four of them looking like they are in the first hour of a sit-in protest.

Unfortunately, the Static Vox post, while it gives me more insight and sympathy into Orangeboy's situation, does not give me much hope that eating out will ever again become the "grabbing a fast bite" event that it used to be.   It's probably better for our digestion this way.   But if you are waiting for a table for five to free up, and you see a skinny boy with a coppery head of hair, you might want to take a chill pill.