I want to share something with you this week that had a powerful impact on me recently.

Does life have you overwhelmed and stressed out lately? Do you feel like you can’t get anything done, but there is so much to be done?

My coach shared this poem with me last week and it is so beautiful it stopped my overthinking mind and helped me take a deep breath.

Give yourself the gift of stillness. Of silence. Of solitude.

Chances are most of those things that are stressing you out and making you feel like you have to hurry and rush aren’t going anywhere.

When we make space for silence and stillness we can truly hear what we need, what our heart has known all along. We’ll know what things matter the most and what we can set aside or even let go.

If you want to learn more about how coaching can help you make room for more spaces of silence and stillness, I would love to walk alongside you in that growth. Click here to schedule a free discovery call to see what that could look like for you.

We’ve all thought about this question. Maybe we want to be further in our career. Maybe we want to be in a different city or in a new home or in a new car or to lose 40 pounds. You get the idea.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting these kind of things and we often try to change situations or habits that will get us closer to these goals.

One thing is often overlooked though when making these changes. Our mindset.

If we don’t look at our mindset about these situations no matter what habits or situations we change we will eventually hit a wall.

Everything starts with our mindset.

And this is often the hardest thing to change. Our brain forms pathways from early in our lives and rewriting the pathways that keep us stuck in a lower mindset. It takes intention and time to rewire those pathways. These pathways are often formed because we have been living on autopilot mode and allowing our core fear and core motivations to be in the driver’s seat.

It takes work to shift out of a poverty mindset about our own worth and strengths. It’s slow work, but I truly believe it’s holy work. And it’s not always something we can do on our own. Hiring a coach to give me perspective and help me see my own worth and strengths has been life changing.

A coach holds space for you and helps you see the possibilities of where you can be and achieve what you most want.

It would be my honor to walk alongside you to help you realize your true worth and help you move toward your dreams and goals, to help you find purpose and live from a place of inner peace.

You can click the button below to schedule a free coaching consultation call. Whether you choose to work together or not, you will gain a better understanding of why you do what you do can impact everything you do and how you can take back control and not live from that place.

Most people believe we can’t choose our thoughts. And while we may not be able to choose the thoughts we have we do have a choice as to which thoughts we hold on to. When we hold on to too many thoughts that do not serve us well they can become limiting beliefs.

We are all human though and want to take the path of least resistance. It’s easier for us to ruminate on those thoughts and allow them to take up space in our mind and spirit and become emotions we don’t deal with. The cost of this can be great. Unresolved emotions can also cause physical issues.

These thoughts can keep us stuck in a place of frustration and inner turmoil. When we allow these thoughts that pop into our head to go further There is a cost?

If we hold onto thoughts that don’t serve us well they can eventually cause our bodies harm.

If we hold onto thoughts that don’t serve us well they can keep us from living FROM a place of purpose and peace.

I’m definitely not perfect at taking every thought captive but I’ve learned a few questions to ask myself when a thought comes into my mind:

1. Is this thought bringing me life & energy or is it draining me?
2. Is this thought coming from my core fear? (Each enneagram type has a core fear. We explore your enneagram type in my life coaching program.)
3. Is this thought coming from a place of abundance or scarcity?
4. Is this thought bringing me joy?
5. Does this thought serve me well in this present moment or is it causing me to live in the past or worry about the future?
6. Was this thought triggered by a message or something that is intended to cause fear?
7. If I hold on to this thought what could it be costing me?

What is it costing you to hold on to thoughts that are not serving you well?

As I’m building my coaching business I’m still working another job. My manager recently took another job.

I fully support her moving on. It was absolutely necessary for her. AND that first week without her was so incredibly overwhelming for me. Not because she hadn’t trained me well, but because others are coming to me thinking I have the breadth and depth of her knowledge. BUT I DON’T.

Being interrupted in the middle of my tasks and being asked questions that I have no answers for triggered something in my nervous system the first week after she left. I spent the entire week stopping and taking deep breaths and then coaching myself along with a few tears.

The end of that first week it all seemed too much when I walked into my office that morning. All I wanted to do was cry, but I started my first task of the morning anyway.

And then it started raining. When I heard the rain, I glanced out my window and somehow, even with my computer glasses on (aka everything in the distance is all blurred,) I saw a robin hopping around in the grass.

In the pouring rain.

“Look at the birds of the air…..”

All I could think was “I want to be like that bird.” Doing what he needed to do in that moment – hunting for worms. Not caring at all that the rain was pouring on him. He was perfectly at peace. And then a couple more robins joined her. See the video above.

Working to remain present and live FROM a place of inner peace is a constant practice. Especially living in this busy and noisy world that never seems to be quiet or slow down.

It takes listening to my body. It takes capturing my thoughts before they trigger negative emotions.

Sometimes it takes setting boundaries. Sometimes it takes saying no. Sometimes it takes letting go of activities (maybe even people) that drain our energy or bring us down.

It’s slow and holy work. But a slow and holy work that leads to a calm spirit that knows our true worth & inner peace.

Now to practice being present enough and not resisting what is so that peace becomes second nature.

I don’t like setting goals. And heaven forbid I set a resolution. It’s going to last all of maybe 3 hours.

But there are dreams and pursuits I’m hoping for and working towards. I just don’t want the pressure of “goals.” It paralyzes me.

One thing that I have been asking myself this past year is what is holding me back from those dreams and pursuits?

In working with my own coach I’ve found that what holds me back is two fold. It’s almost always my mindset & the limiting beliefs I have about myself and various things. And these limiting beliefs are almost always rooted in my core fear. (I talked about fear some here last year.)

Understanding our core fear and how it impacts what we do can help us understand what is holding us back from those things we are hoping for and dreaming of doing.

My core fear is not being good enough. In every situation, if I stop and think about what is holding me back or causing me to react in a certain way, I can peel back the layers and find that my core fear is almost always at the root.

And you want to know what happens when you can bring your core fear to light? It starts to lose its power. It might not happen overnight. It’s slow and holy work. But little by little it starts to lose its power.

If you want to learn more about how your core fears and motivations are holding you back I would love to help you.

My coaching process can help you find clarity on how you are uniquely created and what you were created to do.

It’s not as hard as you think. Don’t wait to discover the most important things about you and how they can help you discover your purpose.

It’s too costly to wander through life wondering what gets in your way of the things you want to do.

I love helping people discover how amazing they are and the gifts and strengths they were created with to make the world a better place and I would love to help you!

I grew up hearing and reading the scriptures that said “do not fear” and “cast all your cares” and “ “my peace I bring to you,” but I don’t ever remember hearing HOW to find that peace. “Read your bible more” they said. “Pray more” they said.

Honestly, though? Those activities never brought me peace. I was doing all the things a good “Christian” is supposed to do, but I still had repeating thoughts that kept me worried and anxious. I still lived in fear of doing something wrong.

The Enneagram helped me understand myself and WHY I do what I do and WHY those thoughts kept me worried I wasn’t good enough. Yet I still needed to know HOW to find that peace that passes all understanding. That’s when I started learning about mindfulness and practices that would help me become my “true self” in Enneagram language. Becoming our true selves brings us closer to Christ and brings more peace.

Unfortunately, I had been taught to believe what I “did” would bring more peace. It was when I started reading more contemplative authors I started to understand that finding that peace that Christ brings had nothing to do with checking off a list of “tasks” in order to be a “good” Christian.

When I started learning to be present in the moment and learning to let go of those repetitive thought patterns or thoughts that didn’t bring me joy and peace is when I learned what Christ meant when he says he brings peace. Thoughts that kept me stuck in worry and fear of not being good enough. Thoughts that kept me stuck in the past and anxious about the future. Those thoughts were stealing my peace. While some preachers will have an occasional sermon on the portion of Matthew that talks about the birds of the air and lilies of the field not being anxious they never really tell you HOW to live that way.

When I began learning about mindfulness and other practices that showed me how to live in the present moment, it changed everything. I’m no where near a master at it and there are days where I still struggle, but becoming aware of not only WHY I do what I do through the Enneagram, and also learning practices I can put in place that help me become conscious and aware of my thoughts throughout the day is bringing true transformation.

Below is a list of my top books that have spoken to me about these practices and learning to be more present in the now. As I’ve filtered the words from these books through the words of Christ I have learned how to be at peace even when life feels anything but peaceful.

*Links below contain affiliate links.

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

The Naked Now by Richard Rohr

Letting Go by Dr. David R. Hawkins

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas

Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton

Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton

Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

Living Untethered by Michael A. Singer

Are you constantly thinking about what you should have done? Or could have done? Or would have done if x,y, or z had happened?

Are you often consumed with thoughts of what you might have done wrong? Or maybe what you said in that conversation was wrong or what if the other person took it the wrong way?

Do you get stuck in the trap of “If Only?”

What if you could learn to be okay with what is? Situations & conversations happen. Choices we made. Actions we took. We can’t go back & change them. We can’t undo something that happened in the past. The past is no more.

Yet the past (and what could happen in the future) can keep us stuck.  I know. That used to be me. The constant non-stop voice in my head telling me what I should have done instead of what I did.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

It’s a viscous cycle to keep us from reaching our highest potential. It keeps us from living with a purpose and intention for each day. It keeps us from seeing those right in front of use who need our compassion and empathy. It keeps us from living as God created us to truly live.

We can learn to take control of those thoughts that keep repeating in our head. We can talk back  to those thoughts with grace and kindness. We can acknowledge them & then gently dismiss them. We can acknowledge them with compassion and thank them for how they are trying to help us.

When we name them, understand why they are there, acknowledge how they are trying to help us, and give ourselves compassion, those thoughts and limiting beliefs begin to lose their power. This is “taking every thought captive” and living fully present in the here and now. This is how we begin to rewire the pathways those limiting beliefs have created in our brains.

This is how we live truly free.

If this is you, it would be my privilege to help you learn more about why those thoughts get stuck on repeat. Life coaching & the Enneagram can help you understand more about the core fears and parts of our personality that cause those ruminating thoughts & how to overcome them moving forward. Breaking those ruminating thought patterns can happen. You are not just stuck with them.

If you’re ready to take control of those coulda, woulda, shoulda thoughts, and explore how coaching can help, click here to set up discovery call. I would love to see you thrive with purpose & peace.

I read an article recently about Van Gogh. The article talked about how two years before his death he was committed to an asylum and no one considered his art worth anything. It goes on to talk about how humans are herd animals. If the group said Van Gogh’s art was worthless then it was worthless. They totally missed the genius in front of them.

Before turning to art Can Gogh was a missionary who gave everything away to the poor which caused him to be dismissed by the church because of his too literal approach to Christianity. More thoughts on that at another time.

During the last few years of his life  he produced an astounding 2100 pieces of art. Starry Night and Cafe Terrace at Night are just two of his works that are considered priceless today. One estimate I found said Starry Night is worth $100 million.

Yet he died penniless. A tortured artist who had been committed to an asylum if the legends are correct.

His brilliance wasn’t seen. He wasn’t seen. He never felt seen.

My question for you, friend, is do you feel seen? Do you feel that your gifts and strengths and passions are seen and valued in your job, family, or church?

I think we could all raise our hands couldn’t we? This can be especially hard if you’re in a season of in between. In a liminal space. Maybe your bosses just want you to produce or get the tasks done without looking deeper to find out your strengths or insights. You may feel a bit out of harmony with yourself because your gifts and strengths aren’t being used like they could. Your spirit just feels out of true. I get it. I’m right there with you.

The article I read went on to say we should not surprised by this and we should take inspiration from it. People miss things. They miss what’s right in front of them. Instead of being hard on ourselves we have a bit thicker skin and be more confident in ourselves.

I agree with this at least to a point. Yes, be confident in ourselves but what if we decided to be intentional about seeing the gifts and strengths other bring to the table? What if we made others feel seen?

I hope that others value you not only for your gifts and strengths but also just because you are simply you and you have immeasurable worth and value.  I hope you feel seen.

If you aren’t sure what strengths and gifts you bring to the world around you, I would love to help you. Click here to schedule a discovery call about how Enneagram and life coaching can help you. Helping people understand themselves through the Enneagram and their strengths and gifts brings me so much joy. I would love to help you reach your highest potential with purpose and peace.

Do you know you have gifts and strengths? Maybe no one has ever told you that, but I want you to know that you do.

It’s very easy when you start learning about yourself through the Enneagram to focus on the unhealthy aspects of your personality. Because part of identifying our type requires acknowledging our shadow side characteristics, it can be easy to spotlight our faults. When we allow our thoughts to hover around these we miss the point. It’s when we bring those negative traits into the light they begin to lose their power and we can begin to not only show ourselves grace, but others grace as well.

We can’t live in a scarcity mindset about ourselves or we stunt our personal growth and will give power over to those shadow side traits.

While it’s important to acknowledge where we our personality is unhealthy, it’s equally, if not more, important to live into our true self with an abundance mindset.

We have innate talents or gifts that we are born with. I’m not saying we are masters at these right out of the gate. We must learn to use them and refine them. We must learn to use them for the good of humanity. Whether raw or refined, we are all created with gifts and strengths.

For lack of a better word, our “personality,” also has strengths that when used in a healthy way can bring to the world.

Ones are detail oriented and good at creating processes and procedures. Ethical and responsible, they follow through on completing tasks.

Twos are positive, compassionate, and caring. They encourage and support others and are very service oriented.

Threes have a strong desire to achieve goals and are very task oriented which gives them an amazing ability to execute a plan and bring people together to accomplish that plan.

Fours are very sensitive to the feelings of others making them very accepting of others. They are discerning and emotionally intuitive and have a depth of creativity.

Fives are superstars are gathering information and analyzing and making sense of it. While independent, they are also humble and kind.

Sixes are excellent problem solvers and while some say they are worst case scenario thinkers when healthy this gives teams great insight when developing projects. Sixes are loyal team players.

Sevens bring so much joy and energy to their world. They are optimistic and excellent multitaskers and innovative.

Eights are confident and action-oriented. They are big picture thinkers who are able to empower and encourage others. Eights are also not afraid of conflict.

Nines are able to see all sides of a situation. They are friendly, encouraging, supportive of others and see the best in others. They want everyone to have a voice and can be great mediators.

I’ve spent most of my life living in a scarcity mindset when it came to my gifts and abilities. I’m so glad I’m flipping the script on that soundtrack that has followed me most of my life. My dream as a coach is to encourage others to know they have amazing strengths and gifts to share with those in their world. I’m very task oriented, but I’ve begun seeing my “task” as helping people feel seen, helping them discover their own superpowers, aka strengths & gifts, and help them to grow towards their highest potential with purpose and peace.

Do you know your true worth?

Whether consciously or unconsciously, do you base your worth on your paycheck? Or your success? Or your productivity & how much you can get done? Or how many games you win if you’re an athlete? Or how other people are succeeding or what others have or are doing?  The list could go on.

We don’t base the value of someone with special needs like Down’s syndrome on how much they achieve do we? No. We value them even more because of the amazing gift they are to the world.

Why on earth then do we determine our own worth by our paycheck, our achievements, our success, what we create and produce, or how we compare to others, etc?

I have a theory. We live in a scarcity mindset when it comes to knowing our own worth. I know I do. It’s something I’m working on overcoming.

We listen to negative words about us from others. Of course the persons speaking those over us do not realize how their words can damage our spirits. We compare ourselves to others. What’s the old saying? “Comparison is the thief of joy?”

What other people say about us or to us has zero to do with our worth.

When we compare ourselves to others, all we are doing is questioning how God created us.

Another symptom of scarcity mindset is something I have observed within myself as well as others. Our first reaction when we don’t agree with someone is to label them as bad or wrong.

We devalue their worth because we don’t agree with their beliefs or religion or lifestyle. We may not do this consciously, but it happens whether we are aware of it or not. 

Our ego stuck in a dualistic mindset subconsciously thinks if we devalue someone else because they are different or do not believe what we believe then it somehow raises our own worth.

If we want to understand how we see our own worth, we have to be brutally honest with ourselves about the worth and value we see in others. In reality, all devaluing someone else does is continue to devalue our own self worth. It continues the downward spiral into even more of a scarcity mindset.

I’ve lived with a scarcity mindset about my worth and value for as long as I can remember. Part of this is due to my personality. As an Enneagram One, I have always had this inner critic telling me that I’m not good enough or I’m not doing a good enough job. I call this inner critic “little Amy.” Thanks to the work I’ve done through the Enneagram and working with my own coach I now understand that while this part of my personality thinks it is trying to help, it ultimately sabotages me.

And honestly? I’m tired of living with this scarcity mindset about my worth and value. Whether it be work or any other situation, when I go into it with the scarcity mindset that I am not good enough it gives other people permission to treat me as if I have no worth or value. I’ve experienced this very recently in a situation. Plus it keeps me in a downward spiral of being critical of others and myself.

Please don’t misunderstand me. Knowing your own worth isn’t pride when we know our worth is found in Christ. If we are created in God’s image, if we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and if before we were formed God knew us, we have worth simply because we are.

Knowing our worth may mean there will be times we have to stand up to people to keep them from running over us. I don’t think Christ meant to allow people to run over you when he said turn the other cheek. I think he meant to let go of any reaction you have to the situation. You can still take action and create boundaries without having an internal reaction to what is happening. People won’t like you when you set boundaries with them. It won’t be comfortable. Believe me I know this first hand, but it is necessary.

My worth does not come from anything external. This is knowing that my worth is based in Christ and not anything I do on my own or how I achieve or produce or perform or what other people say about me. 

As a coach I use the tool of the Enneagram to help others discover that their worth is not based on what they do or what others say or what they achieve. I love seeing people understand themselves a little more each session and discover the beautiful gifts and strengths God created them with to share with the world.

What about you? Can you see times in your life where you were living with a scarcity mindset about your own worth and value?

To learn more about coaching click here to schedule a discovery consultation! I would love to help you in your personal and/or leadership growth!