Organizational Management for Moms

Ongoing Observations on the Coupon Trail

2011-02-10T11:02:00.000-06:00

For all intents and purposes, it's been about a month since I decided to be a Coupon Shark in 2011. During that time, I've done some reading & research, tried my hand at the Grocery Game, and kept you updated on my overall progress. I'm a numbers nerd, so I've provided concrete dollar amounts or percentages when I can, since that's what I look for when I'm reading a blog or article for information. Today, however, I thought I'd offer some more generalized observations I've made since starting this little experiment.

One of the first things I've noticed is that couponing is much less work that I thought it would be, or than I made it in the past. Maybe I didn't do enough homework in the past, or maybe retailers and consumers have simplified the system over the years, or maybe the savings are simply worth more to me these days, but I remember it being a lot harder than it is. Or maybe I'm just welcoming the distraction from 2 straight weeks of rain with a sick preschooler! In any case, I thought it would be more time and effort than it is. I have 2 copies of my local newspaper delivered, so the coupons come to me. I've chosen to continue my subscription to The Grocery Game.com site for now, since it's the easiest for me to use (more on that another time!). Although the grocery store and drugstore specials come out on different days of the week, the Sunday coupons only come out once, so I limit my planning and shopping to one day a week, Sunday or Monday. I hit the drug store first, because it has a fee-free ATM where I can get cash for my envelopes (a' la Dave Ramsey). Even if it's a bi-week and I don't need the ATM, the stuff I buy at the drugstore is never perishable anyway. After the drugstore, I head off to the grocery store. If I hustle, I can get all my shopping done before the game starts on Sunday afternoon. If I have the kids, well, that takes longer, but I try to think of it as a hands-on math lesson. The rest of the week, I don't worry about shopping at all.

I've also noticed that at first, I ate more because there was more food around. Don't laugh! I read about it and laughed myself, but then I realized I did it, too! I think it's called an Abundance Mentality, during which you consume more (of both food and non-food products) simply because they're there. I've since learned to choose my pantry items carefully, put them away promptly, and keep everything I'm not using out of sight (and out of mind). Meal planning helps, as does keeping my personal drugstore (a.k.a. household stockpile) in a harder-to-reach closet. After all, how often do you need to grab a new tube of toothpaste?

Finally, my vision has changed. Sadly, my eyesight is still somewhat lame (20/30 at best), but I now have savings-vision. People who knew me as a teenager will never believe it, but when I became a mom, I got germ-vision, and ever since, I've kept a far cleaner home. Well, it's the same with savings-vision. I cringe at full-price anything, and see discounts and coupons everywhere. For example, in our house, we love Mr. Bubble bubble bath, but it's hard to find and never on sale. But last time I found it, I noticed a cardboard tag on the next bottle back. My savings-vision had seen a rebate coupon on a bottom-shelf, behind the product I was buying. When you consider that I don't bend over well these days, and I had both kids with me, that's pretty good coupon-radar! The rebate was good for a free bottle of Mr. Bubble, so for some bending and a stamp, I saved 50% on a product my family loves and is rarely on sale. That was great, but I've also considered buying by the case, perhaps, or getting it at 30% savings with the AmazonMom Subscribe & Save programs. In any case, I won't pay full price for it.

For the next few weeks, I'll be working on honing my savings skills and filling my freezer for when my next kiddo arrives. I'll be trying to stock up on some specific items, which is harder than simply working the sales, so that I don't have to run out for toilet paper or frozen pizza any time soon. If I do, though, you know I'll bring a coupon!

Grocery Game Score Jan 2011

2011-02-03T10:56:00.000-06:00

Oops. I fell off the wagon. The last week of January my 6-week chest cold (the "plague") finally wore me down, and I just didn't have the energy left to play the game well. I made two separate trips to the store with no coupons and both kids, which as any mom knows is a losing strategy! On each of those trips, I managed to save a mere 8% & 9% respectively by buying products on sale. Not great, but better than a full-on shopaholic retail therapy splurge.

I may have stumbled a bit at the end of the month, but I still got 2011 off to a strong start. My average savings on groceries and household goods for the month was 29%, nearly a third off of retail costs. For some veteran couponers, that's not much, but that's 29% more than I was saving last month! Not only did I manage to squirrel away $96 for a rainy day, but there's healthy food in my pantry & freezer, and my stockpile of toiletries is really starting to grow. For the first time ever, I'm "long" on deodorant, body wash, toothpaste and tissues, all in everyone's favorite brands and all purchased well below retail cost. I even had enough in the budget to splurge on treats for the dog, and at "2 for 1 + 1 free" prices, why not?

Now, there are 2 schools of thought on couponing: stockpilers and sharers. Stockpilers use their coupon savvy to build a large inventory of favorites for their families, and sharers use their talents to get as much stuff as possible to share with others. I've just assigned those titles off the top of my head, and both are worthy uses of practiced skills! Most people seem to start as stockpilers, then become so good at saving that they have the goods and money to give to others - clearly a win-win for everyone.

Perhaps I should have identified the beginner phase - the savers, because that's where I am now, just trying to save a few bucks. I'm just trying to stretch my dollars a bit and take care of my growing family with less cash. I think that's probably where (and why) most people start using coupons or savvy shopping techniques in the first place. Gradually, as we get better at the Game, we begin to stockpile certain items, and then someday, we have an abundance to share. Well, I'm still trying to save money and learn the game, but I'd like to build up a stockpile for next month when I'm out of commission with a newborn, and of course, I'd like to help others, too. But one step at a time. First, I'm learning the game and saving money. The stockpile will come with time and practice, and I'm sure my cup with runneth over before I know it. My point is that it's hard to work through the learning curve, but it's a natural progression. You can't build a stockpile in a day, and you can't give to others until you have something to share. You're not being selfish or greedy while you're learning the Game, you're learning how to provide even more for your family and community.

So that's where I am, after my first month of playing the Grocery Game- a saver working on her first stockpile, saving about a third off her usual household & grocery bills.I hope your year is off to a good start too, and I'm looking forward to sharing more - with you!

Going Off the Cheap End

2011-01-25T10:11:00.000-06:00

Man, I'm good. This week I got my savings down to almost 100%! Ok, I can't lie. I really have saved 100% off my usual grocery & household shopping this week, but it has nothing to do with my coupon-savvy. My car battery died. And I wasn't even in it, so I couldn't grab one last box of Tic-Tacs or anything else while waiting for the tow truck.

Hyperbole aside, I really did save money thanks to my sudden loss of transportation. It's not a sustainable way of life for most of us (my DH had better get it fixed by Thursday!), but it does prove the value of the occasional planned (or unplanned) spending fast. I love a good fast, but it's awfully hard for most of us to avoid picking up little things on the way home from work or school or Cub Scouts. If we use only cash (and I hope you do), we can stop when the cash runs out, but personally, I like having just a bit leftover to squirrel away at the end of the month. Some financial advisers suggest spending fasts as a cold-turkey way to curtail out-of-control spending, but many of us aren't that extreme. Point being, it rarely happens, and there isn't much incentive to try one.

Like an eating fast, however, a spending fast forces you to slow down. You use what you have in reserve, and can appreciate what's right in front of you. Instead of thinking about putting that first bite of cake in your mouth, you stop and think, "Do I really need that?" before buying it. Yes, as I write this, a great stockpiling deal on Colgate toothpaste is going to waste at my local CVS, but I'm long on toothpaste right now, and if I did race to get the Colgate deal, wouldn't I burn ($3/gallon+) gasoline? And probably see other "great deals" I needed to buy? Would I pick up something quick & easy for dinner on the way back from the store? Probably. In fact, it's just as likely my "nearly free" toothpaste would cost me both time and money as a first bite of cake would lead to more.

In this particular case, at this time, I have the cash for a new battery (thanks again, Dave Ramsey!), so that's covered. I also have plenty of reserves around the house, so my family won't lack for anything. Between now and next week's shopping I'll probably have to pick up some milk, and maybe eggs, but not much else. There. That's about 95% savings this week, off of the grocery and household bill. More surprisingly, I've noticed the difference in my own time & energy savings. I browsed the inserts and deals, but there was no rush to scoop them up. I can stay home on this rainy day and enjoy snuggling with my DD, or catch up on my reading, without feeling like I should be running errands or planning to go shopping.

I've said before that my DH is the spender in the family, and it's very, very hard for him to go a day without spending any money. It's not so much the money, I've discovered over time, but restlessness. He can't stay home, he can't relax without going anywhere or, often, spending anything. I'm the other extreme, but I know that there are many people who are like him, miserable after only a few hours home alone. While I don't share your frustration (or necessarily understand it) I can offer that in our house, we can sometimes split the difference by planning a low-cost or free day of activities. That way he gets out of the house, and my ledgers don't take a beating. Unless you find yourself sans transportation one day (or just in case you do!), planning a free day might be a fun way to appreciate just how much you can enjoy saving without feeling like you've survived a spending fast.

The Coupon Learning Curve Continues

2011-01-21T12:36:00.002-06:00

Thankfully, last Sunday, home delivery of my newspaper began. I was like a kid praying for a snow day, racing to the window to see if it had come overnight. I happily scooped up my four-year-old and let her help me get the paper from the end of the driveway. We returned triumphantly mere moments later and presented our prize to the rest of the household. The "real" newspaper went to my husband, the comics to my son, and the ads and treasured coupon inserts were put aside for me. Ah, sweet Donna Reed-esque victory.

Unfortunately, there were only 2 inserts this week. That was kind of a let-down. Also unfortunately, there really wasn't that much for me to stockpile this week. Another bummer. Just as I was getting so excited about my savings, I found myself in the position of needing the real basics, staples, you know, those things that never go on sale and never offer coupons. My coupon euphoria was blown.

I'm sure this is how most people who try couponing get discouraged and quit. Last week - WOW! Huge savings! This week - um, now what? Well, after my initial disappointment wore off, I did find some good deals. It actually worked out well that the simple coupon deals didn't line up with my needs this week, because it forced me to look at the alternatives and shop around. And the alternative shopping gave me some time to think over this week's deals and realize the values I had initially missed. Over the course of the week, I learned some new ways to save and learned to temper my enthusiasm with patience and wisdom.

One of the ways I saved this week was to shop at Sam's Club. We've had a membership there for several years, but had backed off a bit because it's easy to buy more than you can use or grab "great deals" you don't really need while you're shopping. To avoid both those downfalls, I used their "Click'n'Pull" option on their website. Because we needed some of the things right away, I used the feature to find out what was in stock and compare prices with the weekly inserts and online stores, but I didn't submit it. Instead, I printed it out and handed it to my husband to use as a shopping list. He knew exactly what to get, the right sizes, prices, quantities..., everything - and no temptation shopping!

I also signed up for AmazonMom this week and by combining that program with their Subscribe & Save program, saved 30% off all sorts of baby supplies - with free 2-day shipping for a year! You can cancel the automatic subscription any time (as I might have to, since babies race through diaper sizes so quickly), but the extra 15% savings is certainly worth checking out. Speaking of Amazon, I also got a $20 gift certificate for only $10 on LivingSocial.com. It seems to be one of those daily local deal sites, like Groupon, but yesterday they were offering 50% off a $20 Amazon GC, and I don't know of anyone who couldn't use that! Supposedly I could have gotten it for free if I referred 3 people to the same deal, but I always like to test these things before I tell anyone about them. I'm happy to report that although it's too late for me to refer anyone officially, I did get my CG code within 24 hours and it's sitting in my Amazon account right now awaiting my next purchase. Yea!

So what didn't work, you might be wondering, in light of the aforementioned shopping successes? Well, don't send your husband to the store to get a 12-pack of Sam Adams for $12.99 (save $3 with your loyalty card!). Anyone who likes Sammy knows that's a great price, but since I'm expecting, I'm not sure who he thought was going to drink all that beer. Somehow he assumed I was, and blew any savings by buying himself a 12-pack as well. 'Good thing we've been invited to a Superbowl party in a few weeks!

Also, my ancient PC and I had words about Java. My PC is so old it has a Pentium MCLIIV inside. It resents being bothered in its old age, and after a nasty viral bout last year, has been more crotchety than ever. My wonderful sister spoiled me with a new laptop for Christmas, but for now, our printers are still hooked up to Cap'n Cranky. Point being, I need Java to print about 40% of the online coupons in the universe, and my PC wasn't speaking to Java. It took about 2 hours of tense negotiations, but finally, I can print coupons from, for example, SmartSource. Yes, that's right, one of the two biggest coupon companies in the U.S. and my PC wouldn't acknowledge them.

Eventually, like the President, I offered my PC and Java each a Sam Adams, and they shook hands and made up.

Hurry Up & Wait

2011-01-15T21:00:00.000-06:00

My first week of trying to (finally, in earnest) learn how to coupon was fairly successful. I've got a long way to go, of course, but I saved some money and there's still some food in the house, so I figure that's a win-win. This week will be more challenging. My DH, who actually makes the money, is a spender, not a saver, so I have to get to the money before him. The schools are closed 2 days this week, so I'll have extra snacks and entertainment to provide. The actual list of "needs" is longer than last week because I'm so new to "stockpiling" and my original stash of things like coffee and cat food have run out - and man, the cats are mean without their coffee!

So here I am, on Saturday night, tweaking my budget (which sounds naughty but isn't) and waiting impatiently for this week's Sunday coupons to come out. I'm hopeful that my newspaper subscription will finally kick in so I don't have to make a special trip for one. It's usually just me, looking like a total scrub, and the church ladies at the corner store on Sunday mornings. It's pretty clear they have more important plans than I do, so I always let them go ahead of me, and somehow it takes me 45 minutes to pick up the paper. I'm also optimistic that I'll get up early and actually shop tomorrow instead of Monday. Last week it took me all day to figure out the "system", make my list, find the coupons, etc... Then on Monday it poured, so my daughter & I were soaked to the bone between each store. Actually, one of us has a pink tie-dye slicker, so she was fine - I was the only one dripping wet. That might explain this horrific cough I can't shake, and that cough might lead to me kicking the church ladies out of the way tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I know how much money I have to spend, I know what needs to be done. All I need now is that damn list of weekly specials and coupons. Grrrr! Who would of thought that in one week I'd turn into a coupon-monster?

The Grocery Game - Week One Results

2011-01-10T13:52:00.000-06:00

I have a lot of math to do. Supposedly, I was going to spend $100 at CVS and Publix combined, using my "Teri's List" from The Grocery Game.com, and get $250 worth of stuff. That's what? Like a 60% savings on food and household items? Well I said yesterday if it works out even half that well, I'd be happy. Let's see if I saved 30% on this inaugural week of the Game.

CVS: Spent $50.67, Saved: $23.58 (off of regular prices)
Got $74.25 worth of products for $50.67, so saved 32%.

Publix: Spent $109.74, Saved $75.16 (again, off of regular prices)
Got $184.90 worth of products for $109.74, so saved 41%.

Week One Totals:
Spent: $ 160.41
Got: $ 259.15
Saved: $ 98.74, or about 38%.

So yeah, I guess I did slightly better than "half that!". I haven't gone over my lists in detail yet to see where I fell off the wagon, but I did notice a few differences even while shopping.

First, I had a hard time finding just the right size or package of certain things. The manager at CVS even noticed I had the wrong package of paper towels and fixed it for me, completely unsolicited, I might add, which was very kind of him, but I had more issues than one nice guy could fix. I have preggo-brain, and my 4-year-old was "helping", and I've been in that store about twice - ever. I also have this thing about asking for help, which is STUPID, but there you go. I'm just shy that way. Finally, I didn't have enough boxes of Kleenex on the first trip to earn the $10 of ExtraCare Cash. I went right back in and bought the rest, but it didn't show up on my card balance. I'm sure I'm going to have to visit the nice manager and fix that (ugh!) but I also suspect that $10 was part of the the savings percentage I was supposed to see today. Personally, I wouldn't count that cash as savings until I used it at a later time, but it does help explain the difference in savings.

In addition to being clueless and potential register errors, I also noticed that some sales weren't actually on sale like the site said. The VAST majority were, I should point out, but for example, at Publix the pork loin was $ 2.49/lb, not $ 1.99/lb, and things like that. I opted not to get one or two things that didn't seem like such a good deal once I saw them, and I splurged on $1.98 worth of my favorite pasta. I bought a few staples, like milk, which is almost never on sale anywhere. I couldn't find a couple of coupons when I was preparing last night, but I found others that weren't mentioned, so the fliers must change locally to some extent. Speaking of last night, I spent about 3 hours learning the site and preparing for this trip, and about 2.5 hours this morning shopping. That's a lot of time, but again, I'm sure I'll get more proficient with time, and well, I already told you my issues. AND it was pouring rain - did I mention that in my list of excuses?

As I said, I have some math to do to figure out exactly where I "went wrong" but honestly, for a first try, clueless, pregnant, with a preschooler, in the rain, and using a free trial of the site, I have to say it worked pretty well, not "wrong" at all. The list enabled me to pick and choose which deals I wanted to get, so I didn't buy anything just because it was on sale, and I ended up with a good selection of stuff I'll actually use. The junk food I bought was because darnit, I like Tostitos, not because that's all the coupon or deal offered. Actually I have a freezer full of fish and turkey right now - which is pretty healthy, in my book! When the free trial is over, it will cost me $2 a week to keep using this site, and so far, the first week's savings have just about paid for the year. Now, if only I can work my way up to those 60% savings...

Couponing 101 in 2011

2011-01-09T12:06:00.001-06:00

I admit it - I'm a lousy couponer. I know that people routinely save hundreds of dollars at the store, and that billions of dollars (literally!) worth of coupons are thrown away each year, but I've never quite gotten the hang of it. Sure, I've clipped and printed, but that's as far as I get. I might remember a coupon or two on a given trip, but usually, all I do is waste printer ink. Frankly, I need to cut my grocery budget to support my printer ink habit, and I'm pretty sure that's backwards.

So here we are in a new year, 2011, and I've seen many of my friends blogging away their resolutions and new ideas. Now, a full week into the new year, I've finally written down my goals and aspirations for the year. Most of them are dull, I'm sure, to anyone else (like you want to hear about yet one more person who will "Lose the baby weight" this year!). However, one of my financial goals is to "Become a Coupon Shark". Nope, not a Coupon Queen, a Coupon Shark. That's not quite the norm, is it?

For me, the difference is that the "Queens" all seem to be really nice, Mid-Western moms of large families who simply enjoy saving and entertaining. Ok, so I'm a mom, and my family is growing, and I do enjoy saving and entertaining, but I'm not from the Mid-West, and to be honest, I'm really not that nice. I like the idea of a shark because it gives me the sense of having the knowledge and power to choose how I shop. I'm in control. See what I mean about the not-very-nice part? Don't get me wrong! I don't want to steal anything, cheat any system or take food from anyone else - it's not that kind of power! I do want to be able to save money, yet still buy champagne when I want to, or bake from scratch, even though "staples" like flour are never on sale, or pay full price and not feel guilty if I'm running late or tired some evening. I want to learn enough about couponing to be able to buy myself some leeway with the savings. I don't want to be so tied to the system that I beat myself up for going to the import store for a wedge of real Parmesan every now and then.

I also don't want to become an "extreme couponer" - ever. TLC recently aired a special called "Extreme Couponing", which profiled four women who really do take couponing to the extreme, saving amazing amounts of money and collecting giant stockpiles. I didn't see the whole show, but apparently it was popular enough to justify a new series. The viewer reaction, from what I've read, ranged from amazement to disgust, but personally, I was saddened by the one profile that I watched. It seemed to me that this young newlywed had a serious addiction to the "score", rather than simple shopping smarts, and it was costing her more than 70 hours a week, her health, her marriage and yes, even money, in the form of coupon services, newspapers and printing. I kept thinking that if she couldn't be "cured", at least her head for numbers could be better used to supply a food bank, homeless shelter, or other charity. By the way, the general opinion of this particular woman in the couponing community was that she was a greedy, thoughtless b**** who cared only about herself. Ouch!

In 2011, I plan to learn enough to settle myself somewhere between where I am now (broke and lazy) and extreme couponing (somewhat psycho, but well-financed). My goals are to trim back our family budget for food and household goods (it's the latter that always kick my fiscal butt), to collect a small stockpile for after my next baby is born (so I don't have to brave the grocery store with a newborn, again), and to be able to contribute to some local charities, whether in goods or cash.

With that in mind, I raided the local library for all the classic Coupon Queen handbooks, and I signed up for a 4-week trial of The Grocery Game. I'll keep you updated as I climb the coupon learning curve, and hopefully help you reach some of your own goals in 2011.

Retail Therapy for Neat Freaks

2010-10-13T09:20:00.002-05:00

There's a whole lot going on in my life right now. We're moving in less than 8 weeks, we have another baby on the way, and my active duty DH will be deploying soon. All of this is on top of my daughter's birthday and the holidays. Oh, and I guess my birthday is in there somewhere, too, but at my age that's something we don't discuss. Point being, my life is insane right now. My DH looked at me the other day and asked a question I had been thinking myself - "When did we become soccer parents?". That's a reflection of the busy state of our lives - our kids don't even play soccer yet.

I've been doing my best to keep up with it all. We'll have exactly one weekend to pick a house, so I've been doing a lot of online research. I need to hand over my volunteer breastfeeding group to the next Leaders, who aren't finished training yet, so I also have to help them prepare. Of course, there are schools to change and our own home to wrap up. And then there's the wrapping. I'm worried we'll be homeless on Christmas, or that my daughter's birthday will get lost in the shuffle. My own health and my son's, um, outspoken behaviour lately are both pushing me to try a new diet, which is a real challenge under the best of circumstances, but extra hard when you're trying to use up your pantry. Speaking of my health, I'm just starting to get big enough to bump into things I never used to, and the baby kicks back every time I do, so I'm getting kicked from both directions a lot. Fortunately, otherwise, all is going well.

I'm not complaining - really! I simply want to share with you that we all have crazy-busy times in our lives, and in our little family history, this is one of them. I hope you're somewhat impressed with all we're juggling like I am when I see working moms going to school or singles who work full-time, volunteer, travel and still have time for book groups every week. Everyone has her "productive period" - isn't that how they refer to artists?

Anyway, it's getting a bit overwhelming for me. So yesterday morning, I indulged. Yes, that's right, I went shopping. I'm not generally a shopper unless we need something, and then I bargain hunt. But yesterday I grabbed my allowance and spent it on ME. Shocking, I know. I went to Office Depot (or Office Max, or Staples - you know, an office supply store). I browsed organizational products. I got myself new pens and highlighters that I'm not going to share with the kids. I even found the perfect project planner.

I still have my paper planner - and yes, I even broke down and ordered another year of FC refills. Hey, I DO hate their new business model but dammit nothing else fit in my expensive leather binder! And nothing else fit my planning style. We will never speak of my pathetic crawl back to them again. But this new planner, ah.... she is so beautiful. It's a simple spiral-bound notebook, but the pages are for individual projects. There's an area for brainstorming, one for notes, the subject/description, and a series of follow-ups to schedule. In the middle of all this, is a blank list for breaking the project into step-by-step tasks, which I can then schedule in my planner. It's like a whole book of goal-setting pages. It's allowed me to take all the crud driving me insane right now and put it on paper. From my kids' Halloween costumes to shopping for the best mortgage, each "worry" now has its own page and steps to take to get through it.

When my friend Rachel was in college, she wrote everything she had to finish around finals on an index card and taped them all around her door. As she finished each one, she tore the card down and shredded it until she walked out the clean door (with a brilliant GPA) at the end of the year. I hope to rip each page out as I finish each task, rip it to pieces with wild abandon, and walk through my new door (with money in my pocket) before the end of the year.

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."
— Michelangelo Buonarroti

$$$ Immediately after my purchase (naturally), this Office Depot $10 off $20 coupon was released! If you want to splurge the same way I did, you can until Nov. 16th - at 50% off! $$$

Review: The Other 8 Hours

2010-09-08T09:12:00.006-05:00

After reading a few other reviews online of Robert Pagliarini's The Other 8 Hours, I actually paid full price for this hardcover, I was so excited to read it. What could possibly be so interesting about a business book to a Stay-At-Home-Mom? Well, technically, it's a time management book, and I'm all about that. So here's what thought of it.

First, I have to say that several of the reviews I read commented specifically on his "course" language. I personally found absolutely nothing offensive. Nothing. I think at one point he used the phrase "get off your ass", but that was it, and I was actually looking for offensive language since I couldn't imagine how it would fit in a business book. So if you also read those reviews, allow me to throw in my two cents - there's nothing offensive here, at least to me.

Now that that little issue is out of the way, let me summarize the book. Basically, Robert suggests a four-step approach to getting more free time, specifically making the most of the "other 8 hours" you aren't sleeping or at work, and then using it to make money and make your life better. Sounds good, right? Sure, but what about those of us on more flexible schedules? I still found his suggestions effective. Robert isn't going to clock you with a stopwatch and make sure you use all 8 hours, nor does he encourage you to do that to yourself! However, if you apply even some of his suggestions, I think you'll notice a more productive day. I have. For example, one of his suggestions is to do brain things and body things at the same time. Since reading The Other 8 Hours, I've rethought if I want to spend my workouts listening to my iPod blindly or using that time to listen to motivational podcasts, digital books, reading real books, etc... Last week I planned an upcoming meeting while on the recumbent bicycle, and yes, I could read my writing!

The section on making more money with your other 8 hours is very detailed with a lot of specific resources and step-by-step guides. It was a bit overwhelming for me as a SAHM who has been out of the business world for a while, but it's clearly valuable information. I started with the blogging section (something I'm obviously comfortable with) and I hope to experiment with some of the other ventures as the courage and creativity hit me. The final section is dedicated to making the most of your personal life during the other 8 hours, and that immediately struck a chord with me. That's what I'm all about, making time to read to my kids, getting fresh air, learning to tat or become a better photographer. I like that he places equal emphasis on the importance of these activities and not just on working 24/7 to get rich.

The only part of the book I found a bit lame was the "LifeLeeches" section, which lists a number of ways we lose our other 8 hours to less than stellar activities. I suppose there are people out there who still need to be told that TV, social websites, whining and water cooler gossip are all wastes of time, but for me, the list was simply common sense. Still, if that one reader suddenly realizes how much more he could accomplish if only he stopped checking daily on Lindsay's latest adventures or gaming until 3 am, then I guess it's worth it.

The book, by and large, is filled with simple, direct motivation, clear suggestions, and useful resources. Perhaps most telling is the fact that after reading this book, I was motivated to create a list of other books I've been meaning to read, hit the library, and start reading them. So one good book has lead to a list of others, all of which (hopefully) will pour a little more good into my head. To learn more about this book and others I've enjoyed, check out my book recommendations on the right.

Grateful for Glitter

2010-09-03T07:29:00.003-05:00

I'm not much of a morning person. Sure, I get up, I go through the motions, I'm polite and mom-like, but really, I'm dreaming of, well, dreaming. One of my morning responsibilities is to get my son off to school. Like millions of kids, he rides the bus (which is safer and more environmentally responsible than car-riding, but that's another post). A handful of other parents and I dutifully stand around the bus stop for 10 or 15 minutes each morning, keeping the rough-housing down and grilling the kids on their spelling words. It's a mom's life.

This year, however, there's a new trend that's pretty hard on the sleepy morning eyes. This year, in the early morning sun, little girls everywhere are covered in glitter. Apparently their innocent, angelic childhood glow is insufficient, so they have sparkles on their clothes, their shoes, their backpacks, even their tiny little fingernails. It's like saying "Good morning" to a dozen little disco balls every day.

I know my own daughter will grow into some similar fad when she's older, and Lord knows I blinded more than a few people with my fashion choices when I was a kid. In truth, though, I'm glad glitter is the trend - in fact, I wish the boys could get away with it too. I think kids should wear bright happy colors, plaids, polka-dots, or whatever makes them happy. More importantly, though, I think kids should be impossible to miss. I think of it as a visual "scream". If a kid yells for help, I want to hear it. I want everyone to hear it.

I recall hearing from a police officer that the camouflage trend was the worst thing that ever happened to search and rescue missions - how do you find and help a child who's dressed to disappear? To this day, my kids don't wear camouflage - in the woods they wear blaze orange! We're a military family, too, so camouflage is everywhere, but not on my kids. Remember, you don't have to live in a rural area for them to blend in - all it takes to hide them is a median, park or natural landscaping. Camouflage is very effective stuff!

Nope (slurp coffee), I'll take that crazy glitter any morning. Let those little ones shine!

My Jars (for Jen)

2010-07-30T12:36:00.008-05:00

I've owed this post to my friend Jen for a while. She's one of the few people I know who's as much of an organizational geek as I am. I couldn't believe it the first time I saw her kitchen cabinets. Every cabinet, heck, even the fridge, was sorted into zones by use and labeled. It was amazing. It was something I would do. But shamefully, hadn't.

Was it kitchen-cabinet envy that sent me on my quest for the perfect storage jars? No, I don't think it was. As I said, it was something I'd do anyway, left to my own devices (anyone who's seen my linen and medicine cabinets can attest to that). But perhaps the idea that someone else would appreciate my efforts helped motivate me. Actually, the real impetus was that I started buying more whole foods in bulk (see the Momnivore for more on our family's lifestyle changes). Unfortunately, those stupid, flimsy little bags you use at the bulk bins turn into squishy little green bean bags in the pantry, hard to store and even harder to see or remember what was in them. I'm not a big fan of wasting food, so I went in search of a new storage solution.

I wanted something clear that had an airtight seal. There are dozens of types of plastic containers available, and for a while I was seriously considering OXO's Pop containers, which are not only super-cute, but they use them for the entire professional pantry on Iron Chef America, which is pretty impressive (even if I assume that OXO generously donated all those containers to ICA). Ultimately, there were two reasons I didn't go with the Pop containers. First, they aren't inexpensive. They're reasonably priced and I'm not saying they aren't worth their cost, but I couldn't afford to do a whole pantry one $10+ container at a time. More importantly, though, they're plastic. It seems like every season we discover a new chemical leaking out of our plastics, so who knows if 3 years after I buy hundreds of dollars of these containers, currently deemed food-safe, we'll learn that they aren't safe for food at all? No, I knew I wanted good, old fashioned glass. You know, glass. Really hot sand. I'm comfortable with that.

This is where it got complicated. I knew exactly what I wanted: hermetically sealed jars. Think of a Mason canning jar, but with a rubber gasket and that wire & bail that holds the lid on tight. I know it's something completely foreign to most people, but I grew up in Northern New England and seriously, ancient stuff that works never goes out of style there. Apparently, however, it does everywhere else - except Europe! It took hours of online searches to wade through the over-priced, tiny, decorative (read: useless) little jars and find proper food jars, but finally I found just what I wanted at GlassWarehouse.org: 2-quart, square glass food storage jars with hermetically sealing lids by Italian glass maker Fido. I love the Internet, but I have to confess this search was a long one with a lot of wrong turns, so I ordered 6 cases. The worst part was the shipping cost (ok, and the fact that they arrived in two 50-lb boxes - lucky my DH was home), but the jars themselves were less than $ 4.50 each since I bought enough to break the wholesale minimum. I've opted not to label them since I can see the contents and going label-free allows me to change their contents whenever I want. One unexpected perk is that recently we had an informal party and I was able to grab several of the jars with snacks in them and simply put them out on the buffet, since they're so simple and pretty.

It took about six months of searching and researching, but these jars are exactly what I wanted, and I love them! Here are my honest, unretouched before (l) and after (r) pantry pictures. Of course, I also use my new jars to keep baking yeast fresh in the fridge, and to keep the dog's treats crunchy, and to... well, you get the idea.

Ta-Da!

Franklin Covey Failure

2010-06-14T12:12:00.005-05:00

It is with a heavy heart that I write this. I have been a devout follower of Franklin Covey planning systems for well over a decade, but alas, we must go our separate ways. What could possible tear me away? Is it that lousy iPhone app that just wasn't up to snuff? Or a fabulous new planning system I just love? Sadly, no. It's neither. Franklin Covey isn't the company I fell in love with all those years ago, and I don't want to stay with the company they've become.

Last fall I ordered my usual supply of paper planners for the family for the upcoming new year. For some reason, FC shipped it in pieces, and only billed me for the first piece. Being a good person, I emailed them a few weeks later and offered to pay the balance. I got no reply, so a week later I called. I was told it was their fault for shipping late, and "not to worry about (the balance)". Classic good customer service, right? After the call, I finally got an email, which confirmed my balance was considered "paid in full". This was in December of 2009.

Last month I was searching in an old email account for a lost contact when I stumbled over an email from FC. Attached was an invoice for the balance I had tried to pay 6 months earlier. Now, it was sheer luck that I ever saw that email, as it was an old, obsolete address I never use. The email was obsolete, the attachment was hard to open, and the invoice numbers were internally assigned at FC, i.e., they didn't match an order number or anything I had on record. In fact, FC decided not too long ago to wipe out all customers' accounts and start their website from scratch. My 10+ year history of orders was gone. But somehow they managed to save an old email address and a "past due" balance. Interesting.

I emailed the finance department back and forth a number of times. The woman I spoke with (via email) never did explain the new invoice numbers or account number they attached to my "past due" bill. I did make her show me what they were supposedly for, so at least I could check if I'd every used the supposed products. I sent her my entire paper trail from my attempts to proactively pay the balance in the past, but she said that all of the customer service reps I spoke to, online and on the phone, were ALL new and incompetent. You know, I learned to keep paper trails like the one I had from FC. One would think they would be anything but incompetent. And just for the record, the finance woman had a poor English skills. Enough said.

I paid the bill. It was for $ 38.57. I'm an honest person, and I think that maybe, perhaps, this might have been the money I owed last fall.

However, if you tried to pay a bill, repeatedly, and you were told you didn't have to, and then had all traces of your account and history wiped out, and then received a bill in a suspicious manner with all the tracking numbers changed and no paper trail, would you pay it? Would you trust a company that told you their own people were often and consistently wrong?

This isn't the Franklin Covey of the past. I don't know who or what is in charge there now, but their company has gone down the toilet and fast. They should be ashamed of how this was handled. If nothing else, the way they handled this $38 bill cost them the hundreds of dollars a year I usually spend there, as well as all the good press I've given them, which I am formally rescinding with this post. When I find a suitable replacement source for my planning needs, I'll gladly share it with you all. In the meantime, please keep my tale in mind and do not patronize the new Franklin Covey.

Organize Now!

2010-04-26T13:26:00.006-05:00

That's not me yelling at you; that's the title of the latest organization book I picked up. I'm a total lit junkie, so I read all the time, but I don't often find a book I like well enough to give it the ol' college try. Organize Now! by Jennifer Ford Berry may be one of those books.

The first thing that caught my eye is that the book is spiral-bound, which implies quick reference and interaction to me. Sure enough, there are checklists for each week, along with space for notes. And, although there are 52 weeks of topics, the author invites the reader to use them as she feels best. Good - that means I can skip stuff I don't like! Oh, did I say that out loud? I meant I can skip over areas in which I'm already perfectly organized. The book is a compact 6" x 8" or so, so I can bring it with me if I like, and has hard covers to endure the trip. This author obviously has a real life and thought of some of this stuff! Actually, she's a professional organizer in the NY state and has kids and everything. See? She is real after all. Here's her website, Organize This Life.

This week I'm trying Week 1: Organize Your Mind. Ha! Oh, sorry, was that out loud again? Actually, it was really easy to incorporate the weekly goals into my usual weekly planning (I use a Franklin-Covey paper planner, not a PDA or computer program). I just added the goals to my tasks or appointments or on my Compass Card as needed. Most of the goals for this week are very useful and practical - basic, "square one" stuff that I should be doing all the time. Some people may find it redundant, but I needed the reminders. For example, one of the goals is to get 7 hours of sleep a night. No, I don't, but I am keeping track of it this week and actively working on getting more and better sleep. Two of the more challenging goals are to well, make goals, and to eliminate negative "energy drainers" in my life, including unhealthy relationships and clutter and unfinished projects. I kind of feel like if I could do all that in a week, I would be the one writing the book, but I appreciate the direction she's taking, starting with taking care of the reader herself before worrying about where to file receipts. That's nice.

I don't anticipate doing everything in the whole book, and I won't bore you to tears with tales from my sock drawer, but I will let you know my overall opinion of this book over time. There are SO many resources out there that it's a relief to find a really good one. I'm hoping this is one of them!

Namaste'

Radical Parenting My A**

2010-03-25T17:58:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I make the mistake of staying up too late and watching obscure tv shows like Discovery Health's "Radical Parenting". I'd put a link here, but the show's so bad even their homepage doesn't have much on it. According to whomever thought this show was a good idea (probably some childless male executive), breastfeeding, babywearing, any sleeping arrangement other than a crib, and homeschooling are all "radical" ways to raise children. The perky young child psychologist they interviewed pointed out that these methods require parents to "really be in touch with their children" and added that"attachment parenting is hard work, sometimes leading to burnout". (*I shouldn't use quotes since I didn't tape it or write it down. I may well be off by a few articles, but this is damn close to verbatim.)

First, my husband's response to my rant the next morning: "Who said raising kids was easy?".

Now my take. I agree with my husband. I also know that all of the aforementioned parenting choices have been the norm, not the exception, throughout the world and throughout history. Artificial baby foods, high-powered marketing, and a jump in taxes in the '70s all helped twist our idea of what raising kids is supposed to be about. No one makes you have kids. There is certainly no shortage of humans on Earth. So if you don't want to put in the time and effort, money and patience it takes to raise another individual human (or several) then don't do it. If you have kids, and choose to share that responsibility with someone else, via daycare or other care providers, then recognize that YOU are the one making the unnatural parenting choice. I don't judge you; I don't know why you made your choice. But I will not be labeled a freak or hippy because I don't buy in to Madison Avenue-marketing mothering.

If I have an opportunity, I will do my best to support you and your child. Human beings are social, communal animals, and I will gladly help you in any way I can. I will also expect that you will recognize that breasts exist to make milk to feed babies, that babywearing wraps are some of the earliest human inventions, and that families in most of the world and for most of human existence have slept together for comfort and protection.

Now, I realize that this show is the "brainchild" of some of the same tv execs who failed to label the Gosselins or Duggars "radical" parents, in spite of all their efforts. Many of you agree with me about this dangerous provocation, this blatant effort to further divide parents into camps. I hope you'll help take the stigma out of attachment parenting and other "radical" behaviors, and encourage and support each other as we raise the next generation.

Me? I'm off to do some real radical parenting - getting both my kids' rooms cleaned before bedtime.

Namaste'

Saving Money, Losing My Mind

2010-03-18T16:49:00.004-05:00

That's it - I can't even think straight anymore. 11 months into Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (FPU), and I can't function without a budget. Spending money hurts now. That's brilliant for long-term financial goals, but lousy for short term sanity. Need proof? I had to count on my fingers to calculate those 11 months; it's a good thing my kids showed me what to do when you go over 10.

I love the concept of thinking through every purchase before buying anything, both from a financial and an environmental standpoint. Really, I do. Unfortunately, after training myself to do that, I'm too cheap to buy things that I don't really need. Especially things that are for me, as in, things that are not for my family, but ME. If I were a clotheshorse or serial shopper or something, that would be great, but I'm not. I'm pretty frugal by nature. So now the things I deny myself are things I couldn't justify spending household money on, so I bought myself. Put another way, "my" treats were really household needs.

Last month I bought several whole grains and beans in bulk - yea! Cheap, healthy, great all around. Unfortunately, they keep getting lost in the pantry because I refuse to pay for proper storage containers for them. I can't find them, so I don't use them. Eventually, one of them is bound to explode and rain millet all over our dry goods, costing me several hours of my life cleaning. Now the issue is clutter. A few weekends ago, the boys were gone, the fog lifted, and I devised a game plan for several of our most cluttered areas. One of the worst is the closet in our front hall. Between the weird weather this season and the kids outgrowing their shoes and coats all the time, the door barely shuts. Add to that my husband's tendency to hurl every pair of shoes he finds in there like he's Curt Schilling, and you can imagine how just getting ready to leave the house becomes a headache. Ah, but I had a plan! Over-the-door shoe rack! Sort through the shoes and coats and bags - get it all off the floor! Put an end to all the pitching! Yeah, um, well, it turns out that those shoe racks are $20 each, even at discount stores. I'd planned to get 3 of them, but there's no way I could justify $60 for stupid wire racks. So what if the closet's a mess, right?

Wrong. While I still can't justify all 3, I did commit to one, and to cleaning out that closet. Why? Because my sanity is worth it. The fighting and frustration every morning when we all go "bobbing for sneakers" in the closet has got to end. I'm not suggesting we all have professional home organizers come in seasonally so our homes look like Real Simple covers, but if taking a few bucks out of the long-term cash stash helps ensure I'll live to see the rewards, I'm sure Dave would approve.

How-To for Moms

2010-02-18T12:52:00.006-06:00

Have you ever noticed how many practical guides aren't very practical if you have kids? My kiddos are 6 and 3, not too little, but certainly not independent. We're pretty much out of the sticking-things-in-the-socket stage, but not quite to the put-'em-to-work stage. Maybe I'm the only person out there with children, but I kind of doubt that. Still, every book I read on home organization, or every how-to guide seems to be ignore the fact that there are children in the world. I'm not the kind of person who has a messy home and simply chalks it up to having kids; that's not what I'm talking about at all. I think most people who have visited my home would call it fairly neat & tidy most of the time, even though my youngest still makes finger paint out of peanut butter sandwiches smooshed into a paste with her chocolate milk. So this isn't an excuse session, it's an observation, and perhaps, recognition of a niche that someone should fill, please. I would, but I'm still scraping play-doh out of the carpet.

Here's an example of what I mean: Unclutter Your Life in One Week! by Erin Doland. I loved the angle she took with this home organization book. Basically, you are to organize areas based on your daily routine and common activities. Clever, no? Instead of cleaning the pantry first simply because it's the biggest mess or something, you start with your closet, assuming that you start your DAY by getting dressed. I hadn't seen this approach before, and it made sense to me. Unfortunately, the author has (or had, at the time of writing) no children, so she hardly mentions them at all. It's obvious that she doesn't realize that most moms have to organize their own things, and each of the children's' things, as well as all the public spaces of the home. Wait until she finds out that action figures outnumber Barbie outfits in some homes 3 to 1. Oh, and for the record, the only way you could honestly Unclutter Your Life in One Week! following this book is if you had no friends, family, or possessions in your already immaculate minimalist condo. I'm guessing no one like that is reading this or is considering this book, but if you are, you can do it! *** Update 2/25/10 See the comment from the author below - not only is she now a mom (congratulations!) but a family organization book may be on the way! Thanks for the reply, Erin!

Another example: dog training. Many behavioral problems pets have can be easily fixed with some simple training and patience. I'm perfectly capable of understanding these training techniques and the logic behind them. However, I'm NOT capable of leaving the house 48 times an hour to condition my dog to ignore it, since my children can't ignore it, and every time I grab the keys they want to come too, "Mummy, you goin' out? K'I come? K'I come, Mummy? Where we going?". I'm also apparently not capable of walking the dog while pushing the jogging stroller without destroying the alignment of the $300 stroller. Of course, consistency is key when training a pet. Consistency? Kids? At the same time? HA! That's a good one. I'm lucky to impose a basic schedule on the family for dinner and bedtime most days, and even that has some flexibility built in. It's not a lack of desire or planning on my part, it's the modern American family lifestyle. Dinner is at 5:30 (insanely early) so that the kids can have their baths and be ready to unwind quietly for an hour before they go to sleep at 8. That's reasonable. Except on Mondays we have Cub Scouts until almost 8, and other days we have to pick up the dog at daycare across town at 4, and sometimes Daddy's home for dinner and that changes everything. Life happens. Point being, I'd love to follow the training guides to a T and create the perfectly healthy, happy, stable pet, but that's simply not practical. I'll work with him when I can, and we'll just have to offer up love and patience in the meantime.

Don't you have this problem too? You start something, anything, only to have a kid, or two or three, pop up and ask to help, or get in some sort of fix where they need a hand? My husband got in big trouble not too long ago by complaining that he was "working, not babysitting" when he was cleaning the garage and the kids were outside. While his choice of words were regrettable (no worries, he's recovering nicely), I can certainly sympathize with his frustration. I need a How-To Guide to Everything for Moms. I need real tasks, like snaking the lint trap on the dryer, broken down into real step-by-step guides, INCLUDING all the interruptions and mom-points.

It might read like this: Open dryer door, remove lint screen. Trade something with your toddler for the dryer brush. Insert dryer brush into lint screen slot. Use tug-of-war with toddler over dryer brush to loosen residue on the sides of the slot. Send child to kitchen for cookie. Frantically wiggle dryer brush in slot to find bottom vent and further insert brush before child returns.

Alternately, the steps could all be broken down into 5 minute increments. Or age-appropriate "helping" could be listed with each task. I'm sure there are many ways to make it work. After all, many of us make a ton of tasks work every day without even trying. Did you feed everyone today? Clothe everyone? Clean the house? Pack everything and get everyone where they need to be? Oh, and remembered to feed Fido, too? Sure you did, and all while keeping them all safe and happy. So it CAN be done. I just need to figure out how to take it to the next level. Time to start that How-To for Moms research!

I'm Ready for Christmas - Next Year!

2009-12-30T18:40:00.006-06:00

Everyone I know is working on their 2010 New Year's Resolutions, but not me, not yet. I have a few ideas jotted down, but first, I've got to get ready for Christmas, again.

I'm making a Christmas schedule for next year. Once again, there were gifts that weren't worth what it cost to send them. Once again, there was a last minute scramble, although it wasn't as bad as some previous years, thank goodness. But Christmas Day is my birthday, and while I'm too old to celebrate (or admit my age), I'm not too old to want to sit on my butt for a few days and just enjoy the holidays. In fact, when the kids are grown and out of the house, I'm not even making Christmas dinner anymore. It'll just be me and the hubby and some Philly Cheese steaks. But I digress...

My point is that I'm making a schedule for all the holiday crud NOW, before I forget, and entering it into my 2010 calendar NOW, before I forget. I've started with the final day I want to deal with any given task, and worked backwards. For example, I like to send out my Christmas cards on Thanksgiving weekend, so with that as my end date, I schedule stamp buying for the week before, writing them the weekend before that, ordering them 4 to 6 weeks earlier, etc... until the whole process is done with time to spare. I know there are some people who have all their holiday shopping done in August or something, but that doesn't work for me, either practically (since the kids grow so fast, out of clothes and toys) or emotionally (since I enjoy the holiday season). If that works for you, however, use that as your deadline, by all means.

Regardless of your deadlines, just be sure to think each task all the way through and use the final step as your end point. For example, gift delivery (to the recipient furthest from you) is the final step of Christmas shopping, not buying or making the gifts. What holiday tasks could you include? Shopping and cards, of course, but don't neglect school events, annual parties, holiday travel arrangements, or extra seasonal charity you and your family may enjoy. Look back over your planner for the past few months to help remember all the holiday madness you survived this year, then plan now to spend more time enjoying it all next year.

Until next time, Best Wishes for 2010!

Rant Against BAE

2009-11-24T08:04:00.004-06:00

RANT WARNING

I understand that we're not in New England anymore, and schools in other locations, such as ours, generally suck. We can't afford private school and they're all 'thumper schools around here anyway, so we send our kids to the lousy public school and subscribe to the science channel. I accept that academically, this is the best the kids are going to get around here. To be honest, the individual teachers have been wonderful, as is very often the case. I wonder how much more they could do without all the red tape in the schools.

Last year my son started Kindergarten. I joined the PTA, but all they wanted was my money. I tried to introduce myself to the principal, via email, phone and in person, but each time was redirected. Once I was even told they "Don't know where she is". I did strike up a working familiarity with the VP, since they could find her, but this year she's gone. I have no idea why, and the new VP is as invisible as the Principal. Actually, the Principal is very visible - she's an exceedingly tall woman who looks remarkably like Julia Child. Apparently it would be easier to get an audience with the late Mrs. Child than my son's school Principal, however. In fact, I spent the year trying to get a schedule of my son's school day- you know, a general outline of what he was learning. The teacher told me the school provided it in a handbook, and the VP told me the teachers had to submit it. I never got one, but they did assure me that lunch was at 10:20 am.

This year, I know a bit more about my son's day. His teacher has (gasp!) email and uses it, and my son is better able to remember his schedule and discuss it. I know that everything is late. They started the reading program late. They started Scouts late. They started testing late. No wonder they didn't want to tell me anything last year. I also know that in order to see my son, I have to present ID. Fine, good. His school is on total lockdown. I always present my ID to the bitchy women in the office and thank them in spite of their attitudes. I think of the women in education in my personal life and try to sympathize with them and all the trials and headaches in their day. They're still bitchy to me.

This morning, I walked my son into school because I was helping him carry muffins for his Thanksgiving feast. Well, I tried to. Of all the mothers doing exactly the same thing as I was, I was the one they stopped. I was barred at the door and told I needed to sign in. Fine. Did I have my ID? In the car. Have you been here before? Um, many times, with ID, that you scan every single time into "The System". With more drama and eye rolling than a clerk at an airport check-in counter, the woman found me, after checking the spelling of my name and implying I was lying several times. Eventually I was given a name tag so I could go in. The woman who had stopped me in the first place deliberately avoided eye contact. I think she was disappointed I passed the exam.

I walked my son to his classroom. Along the way, I passed several of the other mothers I'd seen come in with goodies for their kids, and none - absolutely none - of them had the sacred Visitor Pass I'd been forced to get. Thank goodness that every time my blood started to boil again I'd see a little kid I knew from the neighborhood, Scouts, etc... and I'd smile and say good morning. I can't be mean to a little kid! But bitchy grown women? Yeah. I can be mean to them. When I got back to the main door the woman who stopped (and later ignored) me told me I had to turn in my name-tag-sacred-visitor-pass-sticker in the office. By this point, I know I'm the only one they made get one. It's a paper sticker. I've passed their test, worn it dutifully, and I'm leaving. Gritting my teeth I return to the office 'o bitches and hand over my sticker, "I understand I have to turn this in". I think that was pretty civil, don't you? Now, it's paper. It has a time & date stamp in bold print. I'm leaving, obviously with no children hidden anywhere, and it's only been 3 minutes. I'm a 5'1" 30-something blonde Mom in jeans and sneakers. Why are they trying so freakin' hard to keep me away from my kid? What the hell are they doing in there? Of course, I'd know if they'd ever given me the schedule...

Finally, because the fine people at BAE hadn't quite pushed my blood pressure over 200 yet, the parking lot guy had to rip my head off. We always park in the lot, as opposed to drive through the drop off line, when I take my son to school. Last year we used the line once and I was reprimanded for getting out of the car to unbuckle my 5 year old from his car seat. My son now lives in fear of being ripped out of the car by a stranger (ironic, considering how "safety" conscious the school is, no?), so we park. Anyway, I know how the system goes. This morning, however, I mistook the gesture of the old guy who directs traffic. Probably because I was seeing red, of course. I made a right turn. I saw a child about to get out of car on my left, so I stopped immediately. Old guy yelled at me for the next 2 minutes straight. I rolled down my window and apologized profusely, but he just keep screaming. Mind you, I'd driven less than 10 feet, at a crawl, and stopped immediately when I saw the child. I then sat there taking this guy's lecture for several minutes, when by all rights I should have run him over.

So this is my son's school. The only contact I'm allowed with them is to tell me I'm doing something wrong or that I'm suspected of being a serial killer or something. They utterly ignore me otherwise, and treat me like a criminal for their own sick amusement. I can't imagine a school in NE treating a parent this disrespectfully - or at least, getting away with it if they tried. The only thing keeping me from storming the Superintendent's office is that I'm still too angry to choose the best course of action. Part of me wants to home school, and the other part wants to show up at a different time each day with 11 forms of ID and a lawyer and demand to see my son. In the end, I'll probably just send a nasty-gram to the Sup. My son likes his teacher and has lots of friends and fun at school. It's not worth screwing up his life to make a political statement. At least until they dream up some new form of torture for me.

A Few Notes on the Holidays

2009-11-14T12:56:00.006-06:00

I have a few scattered thoughts regarding domestics around the holidays I'd like to offer.

Sort through toys and clothes before the holidays. Not only will you have more room for your new goodies, but you'll also be giving others the opportunity to recycle your donated cast-offs. This is especially true for kids' things. Lord knows they outgrow their toys and clothes faster than they can unwrap presents!

If you throw a party formal enough to require cocktail dresses or other attire more formal than normal office wear, do NOT ask people to remove their shoes at the door. I recently saw an article about setting up cute little slippers and whatnot for guests. Nonsense! They went to the trouble to dress up for you - including appropriate shoes. Get over yourself and wash your damn floor the next day.

This is your last chance to order your planner refill, or to find a new one. Do it now, before it gets too busy, or before it won't arrive in time for the new year. When you receive it, make yourself a note on October 1st to order next year's calendar.

One of my favorite informal holiday parties is a Card-Writing Party. I usually invite ladies only, since we're the only ones who still hand-write Christmas cards and thank-you notes. We sit around the Christmas tree just after Thanksgiving sipping wine, enjoying nibblies and completing all our Christmas cards in one evening.

Don't forget to tip the important service people in your life. A good rule of thumb is tip them the cost of one "X". Our sitter, for example, would get the cost of one night's sitting, if we were to give her cash instead of a gift. Some other people you may want to consider tipping, or at least thanking, are teachers, delivery people, stylists, and maintenance or landscape keepers. Check out CNN's tipping guide for more details, bearing in mind they're on NYC incomes! Want to be truly thoughtful? Make a note in your new planner to thank these people, sincerely, next July, when they least expect it.

Finally, 'tis the season for copious shopping, and spending, and sadly, identity theft. Exactly one week before Black Friday this year, I had my first experience with ID theft, and let me tell you, it's maddening. Fortunately, we have ID Theft insurance AND a great credit union who supports us. What could have seriously ruined our holidays was resolved in a few phone calls. I strongly urge you to give yourself and your family the gift of ID Theft insurance this year.

Recipe for Love

2009-10-20T19:47:00.005-05:00

How often do you get to enjoy making dinner? Really enjoy it? A few nights ago, we had homemade calzones. I made the dough earlier in the day, and by evening each member of the family got to make their very own custom dinner. Warm, chewy, crusty calzones. The house smelled divine, too. There was a bit of dough leftover, so I saved it until tonight. For dinner this evening, I let the kids make their own personal pizzas. To them, it's a completely different meal, and I don't feel guilty giving them pizza-like meals twice in one week when everything is natural and made from scratch.

Tonight, as they happily munched away on the pizza, my mind wandered to what I could write about this experience. It wouldn't really work on the Low Cost Low Carb blog, although it's all natural and a great vehicle for veggies. Then I considered this blog. My son and I did have a conversation about our homemade pizza vs. Dominoes', during which he learned that he could have 32 pizzas that he made for the cost of 1 take-away pizza. ("And yours is made with LOVE, Boo. Dominoes doesn't put love in their pizzas.") After a few more minutes of silent chewing he settled my mental debate for me.

With the wisdom and mature stoicism that's a bit scary coming out of a little kid, my son suggested "the next time we move, you should get the recipe so we can have this again".

As a military family, we move all the time. We do our best to make the transitions as easy as we can for the kids, and hope they're too little yet to notice. Obviously, they noticed. And accept it, too, apparently. As much mayhem as it causes in our lives, the lost friends, foreign surroundings, trials and challenges, the kids' only concern was that we could enjoy that pizza again in a new home. Together. Now THAT'S a recipe I'll never forget.

No Soap For You!

2009-10-06T15:48:00.003-05:00

I probably should have known better than to leave a 2-year-old alone with running water and liquid soap. At least, when I put it that way, I should have known better. But it was just a trickle of water, and I'd already overseen the soap application, and the pump was out of reach... wasn't it? And I was only out of sight for a moment, wasn't I? Besides, she's an experienced hand-washer. These are germy times in which we live, and a child has to learn young how to combat e-coli, salmonella and the flu. She's been scrubbing her own paws since before she could walk. Perhaps that was my downfall. An experienced hand-washer knows that if a little soap is good, then more is better. If one squirt will get you clean, then two, or three, or ten squirts will get you really, really clean. She also knew that the knob on the right gets you more water, and it's not too hot on that side either (that OTHER side can be dicey, especially if somebody flushes). And so, applying her years of hand-washing wisdom, my toddler cleaned her hands. And the vanity. And her clothes. And the floor. Sheesh! It takes me way longer to clean the bathroom and do the laundry. Perhaps I should try wearing the laundry while cleaning the bathroom; it worked for her. Sort of.

Sorry, Dave, I'm Hungry!

2009-09-15T16:12:00.003-05:00

Dave Ramsey rocks. Really. Even my husband, who has never balanced his bank account in his life, respects the man and his common sense. Financial Peace University (FPU) was more of a reminder for me - I spent most lessons thinking, "This is what my parents do!" rather than being shocked as some people are by the idea of using cash, or that auto loans aren't a way of life. No, there were no big shocks to me in FPU. That's not to say that it wasn't worth it! Financial Peace was a wonderful tool for resetting our financial priorities, working on the future together, and meeting others with the same lifestyle. As with anything, having friends who are going through the same experiences with you makes it much easier and more pleasant.

For the most part. See, on the community forums and discussion boards on the Dave Ramsey sites, there's one snippet of information that I just can't handle. According to the boards, $100 per month per person is what you're expected to spend on food, including groceries and dining out. If you dine out, you know you can blow that in one meal! Even if you always eat at home, $100 per person for a whole month is tough. Add my husband's low-carb specialty food, my picky son's favorites, and the amount of food our 2-year-old "shares" with the pets and the floor, and $100 becomes a distant dream, like a legend of yore. "Once upon a time, there was a family that lived on $100 per person per month... ".

Are there families who do it? Absolutely. Have we done it? On occasion, when I dedicated myself to cooking everything from scratch, every meal, every snack, everything. We shop at warehouse stores, buy generics, and use coupons. Ultimately, though, it's just not enough. Sorry, Dave. I think some nights I burn more calories cooking than eating. Sure the frozen, portioned, "natural" chicken breasts at Sam's are $2/lb, but I don't want to think about the various "cost cutting" measures that went into that price (shudder!). Sometimes I need food that's fresh, or organic, or gourmet - especially since we don't go out to eat any more. I truly admire the people who live on ramen noodles and peanut butter and pay off their debt in 3 months, but I just can't do that to my family. Perhaps if it were still just my husband and I, or if we owed the IRS or had some big scary debt like that. Yes, all debt is evil, but I just can't get so upset about my auto loan to starve. When our day comes to call in to The Dave Ramsey Show and yell, we'll be the ones saying, "We're debt free, AND we're full!"

The Dry Erase Board Made Me Do It

2009-08-10T17:12:00.006-05:00

I don't want to write this. Seriously, I've been suffering from the worst writers' block I've had since college - maybe since high school. So the very idea of sitting here, writing even a single word made my skin crawl. But I had to do it. My whiteboard made me.

I'm a very visual person. Surprisingly, I have terrible eyesight, but a slightly photographic memory. If I've seen a business logo, I can find their storefront effortlessly, even though I can't read the street signs or numbers until I'm on top of them (without my glasses, that is). In any case, I've been contemplating getting a dry erase board for my home office for months. I think I hesitated for so long because I suspected it would just become clutter in my already crowded office. I can't stand clutter; I can't think straight in a cluttered space. My obsession for clear space drives my husband batty since he grew up surrounded by nick-knacks, but I digress.

A few weeks ago, I took the plunge, spent the 7 bucks and got a dry erase board. Why did I wait so long?! Even in the checkout line, the woman behind me saw me buying the dry erase board and gushed with praise for the one in her own kitchen. That's always a good sign! A few minutes later and I had my new whiteboard propped up on my desk - but what to write on it? Did I mention it's a magnetic dry erase board? That's right - extra options. Should I doodle happy thoughts and images? Make clear black & white lists? Color code tasks? Yes! Just what a visual learner needs - color. In the end, my whiteboard was covered with reminders for all sorts of assignments, each in its own special color. Lately, the soothing green of writing assignments has been replaced with reds and oranges - demanding urgent action, so here I am.

Dry erase boards come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. They may have calendars or to-do lists pre-printed on them, or come with an attached cork board or chalk board. Mine is magnetic, so I can post a picture or note as well. However, beware of magnetic dry erase boards if you're the type who likes to hide your fridge under a wall of kids' art. Speaking of art, did you know you can use dry erase markers to write on glass? I've decorated the mirror in our main bathroom in the theme of playgroups and parties (musical notes, grapes and vines, reindeer, etc...) just for fun. Of course you can always just leave a note for your significant other ("Hang up the towel!") if you prefer. Dry erase board or mirror, it's your choice, but either way gets the message across - even to yourself!

Cleaning Calendar

2009-07-21T17:57:00.006-05:00

Of all the things I do every day, housework is the least important, at least in my book. Of course I like to have a clean house, and chores need to be done, but really, in the grand scheme of the universe, housework is pretty lame. In order to keep housework to a minimum, and keep a house that I'm not ashamed of if someone drops by, I use the Motivated Moms cleaning calendar. These clever ladies came up with an annual calendar which includes daily chores as well as all those once-in-a-while cleaning tasks that we all forget until the Spring Cleaning bug bites. Not only do they break down all your household chores, but they include menu planning forms and daily planning forms to keep you on top of your organization priorities. They update the calendar each year, and offer it for a very reasonable $ 8 a year. My cleaning chores are sadly immortal, so I simply downloaded the old 2002 calendar they offer for free at the bottom of their product page. ***Update 1/4/10 New for 2010, the free calendar has been removed :/ However, the price of their regular 2010 calendar remains at $8 and samples of the current calendars are available for you to at least review before you buy.

Once a month or so, I update my planner with the cleaning schedule for the next month. I also keep the daily list of cleaning chores on the back of my Franklin Covey Compass Card. I've added a few things to the daily list (and omitted a few, too). A dry erase marker can be used on the plastic card sleeve to cross off my list every day and easily wiped clean for the next day. The Motivated Moms say that if you stick to their cleaning calendar, you'll have a clean home in less than 2 hours a day, and a life beyond housework. I've never timed myself, but I suspect that prediction is just about right. I've been using this cleaning calendar for over a year and I really find it useful. They have numerous updates and versions available, so check out their site and see if there's a Motivated Moms cleaning calendar for you. Right now, their 2009 calendars are on sale for half-price! Such a deal!

Recycling & Getting Green

2009-07-16T04:35:00.004-05:00

Sure, recycling is great for the planet, but in some cases it can put cash in your pocket, too. Who doesn't like getting paid to go green?

Gazelle.com pays cash for your used electronics, then recycles it. In fact, if for some reason your old electronics are so old and useless that they can't make you a cash offer, they'll still accept and recycle it for you. You'd be hard pressed to find electronics so outdated they offered you nothing, though. I recycled a 1996 laptop through them last year, and the hardest part was lugging the thing to the UPS store to ship it. I guessed the wrong processor when I gave them the information, so they did lower their offer when they received it. It was my mistake, and I had the option of declining the new offer, in which case they would have shipped it back to me. However, I was perfectly happy to accept "only" $ 103 for my ancient hardware. I just wish I had more stuff to send them!

PaperbackSwap.com is another useful site, especially for an avid reader like me. At PaperbackSwap, you send in used books and earn credit with them. Then you can use that credit to pick up books others have sent in. It's sort of a combination of a public library and Netflix, but for books. In spite of the name, they offer more than just paperbacks. Many people have been able to find books on this site that they couldn't locate anywhere else, and my book club can always find enough copies of our monthly read for everyone. Before one move a few years ago, my family donated 6 cases of brand-new hardbound books to the local library. While I'm all for supporting your local library, just think of how many new books we could have read if we'd used PaperbackSwap instead!

So dust off those old electronics and raid your bookshelves. Recycle your used electronics and books and enjoy the rewards.