Sometimes when I do my journal pages I have no idea how they relate to my life...

but in the end, they always do.

Life can be quite a circus:

Balancing acts.

Aerial feats reaching new heights.

Man-eating lions.

And clowns trying to make people laugh...

and really just scaring the crap out of people.

I'm not a fan of the clown.

And right now, the clowns are running the circus around here.

Maybe that is why clowns are so scary. They are always on the verge of running amok.

I am the ringmaster - trying to maintain the flow of the show without having to crack the whip.

But what do you do with out of control clowns?

???

Namaste,

C H E Z

 

"Where is the fun in being proper?

There is no laughter in the serious.

Keep a light in your heart,

a song in your voice,

a dance in your step,

a smile in your eyes,

and a bird in your brain"

Soul Journal Entry

November 6, 2009

Off to the coast for a couple!

Taking the new Macro for a spin!

Namaste,

C H E Z

I believe in original bliss.

At the innermost core of who we are, the essence of our being, we are divine.

Offspring of an infinite divinity. 

Every single one.

Perfect, creative miracles, gift-wrapped in flesh.

Pure potentiality.

What we do with all that awesomeness is up to us.

When I forget who I am...

I want to ram my car in the back of the car of the stupid driver in front of me.

When I forget who I am...

I can sting a poetic string of f'in'y-f-f's together like no other being alive.

When I forget who I am...

I stay in bed, covers over my head and weep.

When I forget who I am...

I forget who you are too.

Ahhhhh.... but when I remember!

Original bliss!

When I am immersed in creating... painting, journaling, writing... cooking... cleaning my house...

I remember.

When I am nurturing my children... kissing teenage cheeks while they sleep, listening to what they have to say...

I remember.

When I wander the planet and am in awe of her exquisite beauty...

I remember.

When I am enveloped in my soul mate's arms... I remember.

When I see the homeless man walking down the street, wrapped in plastic garbage bags, urine trailing behind him...

I remember who I am.

And... I remember who he is, too.

What are you going to do with your awesomeness today?

Namaste,

C H E Z

Sexy?

Where did the curves go?

Who hid the soft and chewy?

What about the BAM! and KaPOW!?

Perusing through the daily smut... a Shannanism for "People", "Star", "Us", and "InTouch"... I cannot seem to find a fresh, natural face.

Every "Beautiful" woman is nipped, tucked, abrasioned, plumped, botulismed and bolted on.

Whatever happened to REAL?

Why does everyone look flat, vacant, void and plastic?

A profound shift has happened to me lately.

While I have always been considered attractive, I have ALWAYS been uncomfortable in my body, unhappy with it. It was never good enough.

I starved, dieted, and exercised my freakin' brains out. To look "my best", my regimen has to include eating right and working out 1 to 2 hours 6 days a week. I have to work really hard to contain the BOOM!

Maybe it's because I am 41... and am apathetic?  Maybe it's because I have a husband who adores me the way I am? Maybe it is because I have so many other creative, fun things to do and I resent the gym for taking me away from that.

Needless to say I've "let myself go" in regards to the chassis. BUT!

It has all it's original parts, original paint, a little more chrome... and like the other classics cruisin' the streets... still turns heads.

I've grown to like my curves and softness. I'm appreciating the wisdom I see etched in my face... the saved memories of smiles around my eyes and lips.

So when you talk about bringing sexy back...

I'm the new sexy!

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Namaste,

C H E Z

Sexyback - Justin Timberlake

 

You all know how passionate I am about my art journaling and being CREATIVE and PLAYING!!!!

Besides being in total bliss taking my "Visual Poetry" workshop with Susan Tuttle... I am thrilled to have discovered that one of my all-time favorite muses, Teesha Moore, and her equally awesome husband, Tracy, have gifted the universe with some how-to videos on YouTube!!!!!

My soul is singing!!!!! Have at it people - be the creative and Play!

C H E Z

"Fading Lotus"

After teaching the awesome art journal workshop last week, I came home and immediately signed up for Susan Tuttle's Visual Poetry Online Workshop.

I am usually disappointed with online workshops, the quality and professionalism isn't there.

BUT - joy of Joys - Susan's class is spectacular! First rate. I highly recommend anyone interested in creative photography and digital manipulation, try to sign up for one of her workshops when she has them.

These are my first two attempts at week one's Vintage/Retro Techniques.

For more about Susan visit:

Ilka's Attic 

Ilka's Attic Blog

I've always felt like an old soul.

Even when I was really small, at 4 or 5 years old, I remember thinking,

"I have lived such a long time."

I feel that so much more today. At 41, I feel like I have lived nine lives in this one life!

It isn't the same as feeling old.

I don't feel age old... just soul old.

I still feel energetic and enthusiastic. I still feel like I have so much left to do, so much to accomplish!

But I also feel I have done and accomplished so much already, I wonder how I have any energy left!

Is that weird?

It feels weird... but I thought I'd put it out there and see how many of you feel the same way.

 

I have been in a glazed over state all day. Groggy and foggy. Not really present in life.

What is interesting about this state, is that while I am not with it for normal things, like driving and housework, my intuitive state is crystal clear, bombarding me with insight.

I was sitting in my bath, because I was too groggy to stand in the shower, staring at my cup of coffee that I didn't have the strength to bring to my lips... when "PING"... my step-son Jon poked my head. Just a quick idea of him accompanied by a feeling of dread.

I told Jeff, "Jon is in trouble at school."

Jeff has either learned to trust my intuition better than even I do OR he was trying to prove me wrong. In any case, he called Jon's teacher and, sure enough, ding dong got sent to the office today.

I don't know about you... but it seriously trips me out when that happens! (Nevermind, being pissed at Jon for getting in trouble!)

Also... on dazy days like today, little snapshots of other people's emotions zap me... making me pay attention to the smallest details.

I was driving over to get the mail... again, completley zoned out... and I got a jolt of JOY! Everything had been moving in slow motion, then BAM, like a bolt of lightening, ecstasy!

I looked over to see where the joy was coming from and I saw a neighbor woman had jumped into the arms of her husband.

It was so cute! She was dressed up as a witch with red and white striped stockings, pointy hat in hand... she was off the ground, legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, smile beaming on her lips.

Who leaps into someone's arms like that???

It was like he just got a really good job after being unemployed for a year.

I am so tempted to knock on their door and see if I'm right.

"Trick or Treat!"

It was a cool snapshot of happiness.

Here's to dazy days and nine lives!

Namaste,

C H E Z

Two days of mad wind.

Cold, Fall, typhoon-inspired gusts threatening to blow all the trees down.

Howling, screeching and pounding against the walls while I was trying to sleep.

I was watching the birds flying this morning on my drive home from work.

I sooooooo take for granted their graceful flits and flows through the air.

Poor things!

The need a little breeze - but gale force chaos had them flailing out of control through the sky!

Two narrowly missed my windshield!

That would have sucked...

I hate picking bird feather out of my grill.

Can't eat chicken for a week.

Why are they trying to fly in weather like this???!!!

Bird-brained creatures, they are!

One strong wiff the wrong way could seriously take off a wing!

In times like these, they need to grow some long, sturdy legs to get them where they need to be gettin'.

That was my prayer for them this morning.

I should have prayed for the wind to stop.

Namaste,

C H E Z

Blow Away - A Fine Frenzy

The other day I went to pick up my daughter at school.

Mattea is a high school freshman.

When classes are dismissed a flood of students pour out of the gates. But finding Mattea is never a difficult task.

It's not that I recognize her head of brown ringlets.

It isn't that she is the only one wearing COLOR in a sea of gray and black.

It is her presence. She walks with a determined, enthusiastic bounce, head high, with an air of confidence. She is like a light in a black hole of teenage angst.

I see the spark walking in the crowd, look to see who it is and am always surprised that it is my daughter.

Her experiences in grade and middle school could have broke her spirit. Just a couple of years ago she was my chubby little girl, secretly taking $60 to school to bribe boys to stop calling her fat.

She was punched in the face by a jealous girl in 6th grade.

Her best friend in 8th grade started telling kids at school she had sex with someone when she didn't.

These types of things have the tendancy to crush fledgling female spirits trying to come into their own.

And I thank God, that Mattea has only continued to move forward with her passion and enthusiam, refusing to have these lesser elements diminish her.

Unfortunately, Mattea, has been having an issue at school.

One of her instructors has taken issue with her -- he thinks that she makes people feel "inferior" to her, because she has confidence and experience doing something that they never have.

All semester he has been belittling, and making demeaning comments toward Mattea... trying to dim her shine so everyone else, including himself, will feel more comfortable.

He tells her she needs to "be careful", because other students will think that she thinks she is "better than them".

When did our high school instructor's maturity level devolve to the age level of their students.

Her father and I got her removed from the class all together. I didn't want to wait and see if she could overcome adult male invalidation on her own. 

And then I had a conversation with my daughter.

"Without acting superior than other people, or putting them down, continue to be the best that you can be for yourself."

"NEVER dim your light. Keep shining. Keep glowing up."

"If that makes people uncomfortable - that is THEIR problem. Fuck 'em."

That was her motherly advise for the day.

I did the page above while contemplating Mattea. I found myself proud of who she is becoming and how she is developing, despite the risks of rejection or humiliation.

I thought about the risks we all take every day when we choose to GLOW.

That bright light draws a lot of attention... dusty moths beating their wings against you. Despite the risks of rejection or abuse that may come our direction because of our light, we continue to shine. It is the only thing we know how to do anymore.

And when we find other shining lights in the world, we connect with kindred spirits and strengthen our shine ten-fold.

Keep Shining and

Namaste,

C H E Z

Take your work or your voice to a deeper level with Personal Art Journal Coaching.

Is it hard to create with the same intensity you were able to achieve during a workshop once you are back home?

Do you wish you had a journal angel to look over your shoulder and push you in new, interesting directions?

After the initial phone session clients are given projects. Clients email completed assignments to me as an attachment or pdf file. I will provide feedback, perspective and ideas for you to take it to the next level.

Contact me via ssinclair11@sbcglobal.net. Once I receive a PayPal receipt I will contact you to arrange the 30 minute phone session.

Namaste,

C H E Z

I spent some time looking through some beautiful photographs by some inspiring artists. One photographer in particular does some stunning work.

Check out Lauren Rosenbaum's photostream on FLICKR!

A couple of my faves Mary Poppins, the secret of flying, tree, in the fog.

Her work is just GLORIOUS!!!!

She created some very fun Actions for use in Photoshop. I purchased her "ISH" set and have been playing with them all afternoon. For "YoYo" I took an old photo I took at the fair and used her "Artwork" Action... For "Pink Ladies" I used the Smoky Quartz action, followed by Artwork, then I painted a transparant pink onto the blooms.

Actions make 10 step special effects on photographs happen in one click... very very fun.

I must take a break before my eyes cross!

 

Namaste,

C H E Z

To purchase any of Lauren's actions sets visit: CinnamonRoseActions