1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.

4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.

6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

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The Ultimate Facts About Men and Women is a post from: Orkut Help

And Thank God/Existence for today!

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HOW VERY TRUE TO LIFE THESE ARE.. is a post from: Orkut Help

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u
sneeze u ll say HUTCH

3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College

4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop … u
cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop

5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a
software engineer cannot bcom a software

6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world
in world cup

7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

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MIND BLOWING DIALOGUES BY VIJAYAKANTH is a post from: Orkut Help

PATNIism
You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows

WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don’t know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism
You don’t have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2…stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism
You don’t know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that’s his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don’t yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk..

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

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Emerging “ism”s of the new economy!! is a post from: Orkut Help

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Great Creations…. is a post from: Orkut Help

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Military Humor is a post from: Orkut Help

This virus will wipe out your private folder from your life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the
premises. Visit the nearest Super market and purchase one or both of the
antidotes – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome
Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated
from your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to your friends. If you
do not have friends, you have already been infected and WORK is
controlling your life.

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Beware:: New Disease!!!!!!!!! is a post from: Orkut Help

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Cartoons is a post from: Orkut Help

Let’s see a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge = Power)

Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time = Money)

As every engineer knows, Power = Work/Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money (from postulate 1 and 2 above),

We have Knowledge = Work/Money

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work/Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, The More you Make.

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Why Business executive makes more money ? is a post from: Orkut Help

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

“Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.”Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. “Is this your axe?”the Lord asked.

“Yes”, he replied.

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie.

“Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, “Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said ‘no’to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don’t want her to share me with anyone, so THAT’S why I said yes to Angelina Jolie.”

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MEN LIE WITH GOOD INTENTION… is a post from: Orkut Help