Otaosese

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Explosion at Banex Plaza in Abuja + Statement from...

2012-07-03T15:43:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Explosion at Banex Plaza in Abuja + Statement from...: The explosion occurred at the busy Banex Plaza in Wuse 2 Abuja this night, Abuja Police PRO has confirmed. Below is an official statement f...

Conversation Between Lawan, Otedola Exposed

2012-07-03T15:37:00.004-07:00

03 Jul 2012

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Mr. Femi Otedola and Hon. Farouk Lawan

By Ike Abonyi and Onwuka Nzeshi

Snippets of the conversation between the suspended Chairman of the House of Representatives Ad hoc Committee on the Monitoring of the Fuel Subsidy Scheme, Hon. Farouk Lawan, and Zenon Oil and Gas Chairman, Mr. Femi Otedola, over the $3million cash-for-clearance scandal were laid bare Monday.

A transcript of the recorded conversation between the duo, which was obtained by THISDAY, revealed how Lawan, who had earlier collected $500,000 out of the $3 million bribe, set out to collect the balance of $2.5 million.

THISDAY, however, could not independently verify the authenticity of the audio recording, which was also played repeatedly on Channels Television station Monday.

But Lawan’s lawyer, Mr. Mike Ozekhome, in an immediate reaction to the broadcast of the audio tape described it as “infertile, vague, puerile and inadmissible as evidence by any court of law or tribunal.”

Part of the conversation between the duo came out a day after Lawan’s lawyers challenged the “State Security Service, the police, Mr. Otedola or any other person for that matter, to produce for public viewing the video or film and call logs of the conversation between him (Lawan) and Mr. Otedola unedited and undoctored.”

THISDAY learnt that the audio recording now in the public domain, is part of 19 tapes and six video recordings of what transpired between Lawan and Otedola.

Otedola, on his part, is expected to appear before the House Committee on Ethics and Privileges Tuesday, less than a week after Lawan defended his conduct before the same committee.
The committee is meant to probe allegations that the lawmaker collected $620,000 out of the $3 million to remove the name of Zenon Oil from the list of companies that bought foreign exchange from the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) without importing fuel.

Part of the conversation between the duo is as follows:
Lawan: (Apparently enquiring on where to collect the money) your house?

Otedola: I don’t want to bring it to my house. It is a lot of money.

Lawan: Oh, yes. So, where because I’m hastening to the ...(the rest is inaudible). You are in the airport now?

Otedola: Yes, at the airport in an aircraft.

Lawan: (Beginning of response inaudible).. and before they can come over now; unless I send somebody to the airport. I can’t leave by the time they come. I will be in the chambers. I have a lot of things to do myself.

Otedola: Is there anybody you can trust that I can give it to? Or maybe I should just postpone my travelling to China till tomorrow?

Lawan: No, no, no. In fact, I will arrange with someone. Let me give you his number.

Otedola: Okay.

Lawan: His number is 080...

Otedola: Hold on, hold on, hold on. 080..

Lawan: 08036513355.

Otedola: What is the name?

Lawan: TJ (presumably an abbreviation for Tijani).

Otedola: So, I will give him the balance. That is $2.5 million.

Lawan: That is right. Just hold on. I am calling him to be sure his phone is through.

Otedola: Where will I meet him?

Lawan: Hold on, hold on. Just hold on, just hold on. Don’t quick send...(conversation fades out).

Repeated calls by THISDAY to TJ’s number did not go through as the service provider said the number is “currently switched off, please try again later.”

Ozekhome, in a statement, said after listening to and watching the audio recording with Lawan, the question that arose was: “Where is the visual of the audio?”

He said the question arose because Otedola had said he used the State Security Service (SSS) “to carry out a so-called ‘Sting Operation’, which showed Farouk Lawan not only pocketing the sum of $500,000, but also putting some under his cap, in Mr. Otedola’s Lagos home (sic).”

According to him, in the absence of the video tape of the transaction between the duo, the audio tape in the public is “highly doctored, manipulated and incomprehensible voices purported to be his and Lawan’s.”

Ozekhome noted that professionally, Channels did make the vital point that the audio was “purported” to be the voice of both men, but demanded to know where the video recording was to back Otedola’s claim.

“Recall that Mr Otedola had told the whole world that he used the SSS to carry out a so called ‘Sting Operation’, which showed Farouk Lawan not only pocketing the sum of N500,000 US Dollars (sic), but also putting some under his cap, in Mr. Otedola’s Lagos home (sic).

“On Farouk’s instructions, we had debunked this allegation and challenged Mr. Otedola, or the police and SSS to produce this complete audio video, unedited and undoctored,” Ozekhome charged.

He added that Otedola had the opportunity of doing this through Channels TV, but he did not.

“Rather, he brought highly doctored, manipulated and incomprehensible voices purported to be his and Lawan’s.
“He will certainly require forensic evidence to prove this to be true in this highly technologised world of manipulative evidence that can easily turn a man into a woman.

“Certainly, the audio was a sorry anti-climax to what Nigerians had been expecting.

“Even at that, let us take the audio ‘evidence’ itself for whatever it is worth. The conversation started somewhere in the middle, not from the beginning and ended abruptly.

“Our client hereby still challenges Mr. Otedola to air the entire audio visual (sic) and also the complete video for Nigerians to see the setting and environment in which the alleged bribe took place, who said what, to whom and for what," he said.

He added that his client believes that the entire footage was devilish, satanic, luciferous, mischievous and completely taken out of context, adding, “Even then the audio shows that it is Mr Otedola offering to pay the balance of the alleged bribe of N2.5 million US Dollars (sic), not Mr. Farouk Lawan.”

Ozekhome observed that from the conversation that transpired, “there was no mention of the purpose of the alleged balance of $2.5 million, or any mention of Mr. Otedola’s indicted companies, Zenon Oil and AP Petroleum (sic), whose desired removal from the committee’s indicted companies list allegedly formed the fulcrum of the bribe itself.

“If it was actually a ‘sting operation’, why is it Mr. Otedola and not the SSS that is officially releasing it on Channels TV? The audio (recording) has raised more questions and doubts than answers. Mr. Farouk Lawan says it is a doctored anti-climax."

But as Lawan and his lawyers scramble to salvage whatever is left of the lawmaker’s battered reputation, Otedola is expected to appear before the House Committee on Ethics and Privilege Tuesday in furtherance of its investigations into the scandal.

The clerk to the committee, Mr. James Obot, confirmed to THISDAY last night that Otedola would be appearing before the committee at 2 pm Tuesday to substantiate his allegations against Lawan.

It was, however, not clear whether Otedola would give his testimony in camera, as Lawan did when he appeared last Thursday.

In addition to his verbal testimony, Lawan also tendered documents said to contain call logs obtained from a telecommunications operator. The call logs, THISDAY learnt, are meant to substantiate his claims that it was Otedola who initiated the transaction and not vice versa.

However, contrary to the claims by Lawan’s lawyers in their petition to the acting Inspector General of Police (IG), Mohammed Dikko Abubakar, that their client reported the alleged attempt to bribe him to the Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Mr. Ibrahim Lamorde, THISDAY has learnt that no such report was made to the commission.

Sources in the commission said that although Lawan visited the commission, he did not mention anything concerning Otedola or that he collected money from him or somebody else.

“He visited the chairman but he never mentioned anything about his collecting any money from anybody. He only talked about the pressure they faced during the investigation,” the source said.

The source wondered how the lawyers came about the claim that Lamorde detailed the EFCC’s Director of Operations to be on standby in case Otedola called again.

Healthy VS Unhealthy Relationships in Nigeria

2012-07-03T15:06:00.002-07:00

Healthy relationships are made up of people with Healthy hearts. Healthy relationships prevent sinful self-obsession that leads to addictions. A healthy relationship promotes the opposite of addiction. Healthy relationships contain genuine love which exudes openness, trust and freedom. There are many striking differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Identifying these differences helps us to understand how we can grow toward healthy relationships:

1. Friendship VS Victimization: In healthy relationships, good friends become better friends. Unhealthy relationships are shallow and susceptible to being marked by victimization.

2. Security VS Fear: Security is a rare commodity. Most of the time, we feel an overwhelming need for at least one relationship to make us feel safe. 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear". When we are in Healthy relationships we focus on the needs of others and we calm their fears by being reliable. This drives out fear and provides genuine security.

3. Vulnerability VS Defensiveness: In a secure relationship, a person is free to open up and be vulnerable. In this sense, vulnerability is delightful because it enables you to discover more of who you are and appreciate all the good that God created in you. In a relationship characterized by fear, there is always a need to build up a defensive wall. This gradually leads to "death" rather than to life and growth.

4. Sacrifice VS Demand for Sacrifice: Not many books and magazines exalt the joys of sacrifice. Most of us demand sacrifice from our partners rather than sacrificing ourselves. Character is created in a relationship when love requires the surrender of privilege. The greater the sacrifice, the greater the potential for a relationship. God's relationship with us required nothing less than the utmost sacrifice of his son, Jesus Christ.

We incline for less than God's best when we compromise and settle for a partner out of necessity, emptiness and isolation. You compromise when you fall in love with just anyone who seems to be interested in you. You also compromise when you go against your sexual behavioral principles. In an unhealthy relationship, one person is the constant giver, while the other is the constant receiver. A healthy relationship is typical for trust, strength and support.

$3 million bribe: Lawan, otedola audio recording out

2012-07-02T13:06:00.001-07:00

An audio recording has surfaced in the media believed to be part of a telephone conversation conversation between Farouk Lawan and Femi Otedola over the bribery scandal.

Farouk had earlier been questioned over the $3 milion scandal behind closed doors by the House Committee on Ethics, while Femi Otedola has been invited by the same committee and is expected to appear before them on Tuesday.

The audio conversation which first appeared on Channels Television, sheds more light on the transaction between Farouk and MD/CEO Zenon Oil and Gas Femi Otedola Otedola concerning the bribe.

Farouk Lawan, former chairman of the ad hoc committee on the subsidy probe, is accused of collecting bribe from Femi Otedola, to have two of his companies removed from a list of indicted companies who received foreign exchange from the Central Bank of Nigeria but failed to bring in fuel.

The lawmaker is said to have received $1.5million upfront and the audio recording shows how he collected the initial payment, and how Lawan would collect the $2.5 million balance.

The conversation verbatim

Otedola: How are you sir? I don’t want to bring it to my house

Lawan: Oh, you would take it to your house

Otedola: No I don’t want to bring it to my house; it is a lot of money

Lawan: err… so where? Because I’m rushing to the… they are at the airport now?

Otedola: Yes they are in the airport in the aircraft

Lawan: Well I can’t come over now and before they can come over now unless I send somebody to but I can’t because…by the time they come I should be…I have a lot of things to do myself

Otedola: Is there anybody you think I can give it to or maybe I should just postpone my trip to China till tomorrow?

Lawan: No, no it’s ok…I’ll arrange it with someone…let me give you his number 080

Otedola: hold on hold on

Lawan: 08036513355

Otedola: (Repeats number after him)What’s the name?

Lawan: TJ

Otedola: Sorry?

Lawan: aaarrh… TJ

Otedola: Ateezay?

Lawan: TJ!

Otedola: Teezay?

Lawan: No, Tj

Otedola: OK. So I will give him the balance; that is erm… 2.5 million

dollars, yea?

Lawan: that’s right. Hold on. I’m calling him to be sure his phone is on…..

Audio Conversation

Business Day

HAPPY NEW "SECOND HALF"

2012-07-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

Here we are, at the halfway point of the year. This is another time for reflection. I am a July baby, hence, for most of my adult life July has been a period of reflection. Even from my childhood up to my teenage years, the school session always ended in July; So it always seemed to me like we had concluded a year and were about to begin a new one. Whenever we took off for the long break, it always felt like i was preparing for a new year. In this month of July, i want to reflect a little bit on what the first half of the year was like to me. In the past half of the year, i actually worked on myself and learned a lot about what i want in my life. It was a tough six months with a lot of ups and downs, but as we begin the second half of the year, i realize that i have a lot to be grateful to God for. I got a beautiful daughter in January and all i want is for her to experience what she loves. I also have an amazing husband who i respect and honor and who loves me for who i am. I try to leave every single day of my life now being honest with myself and others around me. I have discovered that when you practice honesty, truth, love and openness, you maintain a clear unbiased conscience. So, this second half, i will try to go all out to achieve / sustain 100% in all of life's endeavours.

It was an amazing first half, and now, we've got an amazing second half ahead of us.

Quick Pointers For a Distinctive Relationship

2012-07-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Relationships build our emotions and form our interactions with God, our spouses, partners, family, loved ones and those around us. No matter how much we desire a spectacular relationship, it will not come so easily without applying some basic principles. Some people believe that they only need to find the right guy or girl for them and that sorts out their relationship; but research has shown that this is not entirely correct. No matter how long you've been with your partner or how much they fit in as your "perfect guy or girl", you have to continually put yourself forward and ensure that the relationship remains hot. Here are some principles on making our relationships work:

1. Be satisfied with yourself: If you do not like yourself, you won't believe that others like you. Being satisfied with yourself is reflected in your self esteem. Naturally, Having self-esteem is easy for people brought up by loving balanced parents, but it can be harder for others. Having self esteem means the ability to be strong as an individual, hence not inclining too hard on your partner and relying too much on them for reassurance. The stronger you are as a person, the stronger your relationship will be.

2. Like your partner: If you really like your partner, then you have an excellent footing for a relationship. No matter how much you love each other, if you don't like yourselves and enjoy being together your differences will pull you apart.

3. Create time for each other: The amount of time we give to things is a measure of how important we think they are. I know that in our busy lives of today especially considering work and our kids this is one of the least of our priorities, but we need to continually make time for one another. Make the evening where you can go out or stay home and eat a nice meal.

4. Physical contact: Physical contact is utterly crucial to our happiness. Make time to hug, caress and cuddle everyday.

5. Have a personal relationship with God: Having a relationship with God will help you clearly understand intimacy, love, respect, honor and unity.

Apart from the pointers identified above, to establish a distinctive relationship you also have to be sincere, candid and faithful. These are difficult because, sometimes, we are not even truthful to ourselves; so it can be a bit frightful to bare ourselves to others.

You also need to be dependable and show admiration for your partner. This is a demonstration of security which is necessary in a relationship for both men and women.

Enough said! However, one vital point to note is COMMUNICATION. Most issues can be resolved if the couple involved sits together and really talk about the problem. You must consider place, time and tone when you are about to communicate with your partner, especially on sensitive matters. Let us take an example, say your husband is not happy with you because of the expensive shoes you just bought, knowing fully well that the financial situation in your house is low. How do you respond to this? Do you start talking about this exact situation right there in the shopping mall? No! You quickly apply the principle of place, time and tone.

I believe that communication is the key that holds all the other pointers in place. All the above approaches are also useful in our relationships with friends, family, colleagues etc.

Police confirm attack on Oshiomhole’s convoy

2012-06-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

The police in Edo State on Friday blamed the students of the Institute of Technology and Management, Usen, for Thursday night’s armed attack on Governor Adams Oshiomhole’s convoy in the town.

Oshiomhole had held a rally in the town and was heading back to Benin City when his convoy was attacked.

A statement signed by the Police Public Relations Officer in the state, Mr. Anthony Airhuoyo, said the police had commenced an investigation into the incident and the burning of a police station by the students.

The statement said Oshiomhole had met with the students briefly and promised to address them on his way back from his campaign before the attack.

The statement reads, “After the campaign at about 6.15 pm, the governor decided to address the students on another day because it was already getting late.

“But the students barricaded the expressway on the outskirts of Usen in order to compel the governor to visit their institution.

“When their demands could not be met, they resorted to throwing stones and other missiles at the governor’s convoy.

“In the process of dispersing the riotous students, two of them were injured and are currently receiving treatment.

“Nobody was killed in the process. The students later regrouped and went to Usen Police outpost and vandalised the place.

“Investigation has commenced as the area is closely being monitored by the police.”

In another statement signed by the Commissioner for Information and Orientation, Louis Odion, the Edo State Government alleged that thugs loyal to the Peoples Democratic Party had opened fire on the governor’s convoy shortly after he paid a courtesy visit to the traditional ruler of the area (Onogie) Oluogbe II, in his palace.

But the PDP promptly denied involvement in the attack through its Publicity Secretary in the state, Mathew Urhoghide.

I Collected Money Not Bribe —Farouk Lawan

2012-06-29T15:14:00.002-07:00

Member of the House of Representative and suspended chairman of the House Ad-Hoc Committee on the Monitoring of Subsidy Regime, Hon. Farouk Lawan, has began defending himself in the ongoing investigation into a $620,000 bribery allegation levelled against him by business mogul Mr. Femi Otedola, Chairman, Zenon Oil and Gas.

Lawan, who was interrogated behind closed doors by the House of Representatives Committee on Ethics and Privileges, which began investigation into the allegation yesterday, said what he collected was money and not a bribe.

Restating his earlier statement to the media, Lawan said he collected $500,000 from Otedola not as a bribe but as exhibit that he planned to use as evidence of the attempt by the oil marketer to influence the report of the subsidy probe.

Otedola, in his account of the transaction between the duo, had claimed that Lawan made repeated demands of him for money to stop the ad hoc committee from indicting his company, adding that he had to bring in security agents who advised him to play along with the lawmaker in a bid to nail him.

The security agents, he added, provided the serialised dollar bills that were given to Lawan, who collected the money without knowing that he was being recorded.

A source told THISDAY that Lawan appeared confident throughout his session with the Ethics Committee, but he was rather evasive when asked about the whereabouts of the money he admitted to have collected.

Unlike in the past when he claimed that the money was with the Chairman, House Committee on Drugs, Narcotics and Financial Crimes, Hon. Adams Jagaba, Lawan said the security agencies would establish the whereabouts of the money during their investigations.
On his part, Jagaba in different letters to the House Speaker, Hon. Aminu Tambuwal and acting Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar, had denied Lawan’s claim.

THISDAY checks showed that besides his oral testimony, Lawan also tendered documents said to contain call logs obtained from a telecommunication service provider to substantiate his claim that Otedola initiated the transaction and not him.

It was learnt that the committee might recall Lawan to give further clarifications on his testimony as the investigation progresses.

Earlier, Lawan, who had arrived at the venue of the committee at 1.05 pm, expressed surprise at the heavy media presence. He expressed pleasantries with his colleagues and reporters before taking his seat.

Chairman, House Committee on Ethics and Privileges, Hon. Gambo Dan-Musa, gave a synopsis of the case under investigation and shortly after, ordered reporters to excuse the committee to enable it interrogate Lawan in camera.

Dan-Musa said the committee’s mission was to establish the facts of the bribery allegation and after a series of meetings, it decided to invite Lawan, Otedola and other stakeholders involved in the matter to appear before it at different times.

“The committee is set to carry out its assignment with a very high sense of commitment. We shall strive to be fair and just to all parties involved. It is our belief that at the end of the day, our report will meet the expectations of the House and indeed that of the Nigerian public,” Dan-Musa said.

Chairman, House Committee on Media and Public Affairs, Hon. Zakari Mohammed, who addressed reporters later, said the decision to conduct the investigation secretly was to create a conducive atmosphere for Lawan and others to give their testimonies freely and without distraction.

“You know that it is an investigative hearing and we want to avoid a situation where his (Lawan) presentation would bungle certain people’s submissions.

“Of course, the police are doing their own investigations and they are doing that in camera. So we believe that this also should be done in camera to at least give everybody some protection and the freedom to say all that he or she knows.

“If you are sure there are cameras, there might be certain things witnesses might want to hide. So it is not as if we are trying to hide anything but we want to ensure that we do a thorough job of this investigation,” Mohammed said.

-ThisDay News

Creflo Dollar denies punching, choking daughter

2012-06-29T14:26:00.001-07:00

Megachurch pastor Creflo Dollarstaunchly denied Sunday that he punched and choked his 15-year-old daughter in an argument, telling his congregation the allegationsmade in a police report are nothing but "exaggeration andsensationalism."

"I will say this emphatically: I should have never been arrested," Dollar said in his first public appearance two days after police charged him with misdemeanor counts of simple battery and cruelty to children.

The pastor got an enthusiastic ovation from the packed church as he took the pulpit Sunday at the World Changers Church International in metro Atlanta. He addressed the criminal charges head-on for several minutes before moving on to his sermon.

"I want you all to hear personally from me that all is well in the Dollar household," Dollar said.

The 50-year-old Dollar is one of the most prominent African-American preachers based around Atlanta, with 30,000 members in the Atlanta area and a ministry of satellite churches across the U.S.

He was arrested after his 15-year-old daughter called 911 at about 1 a.m. Friday and told a Fayette County sheriff's deputy that she and her father argued when he said she couldn't go to a party. A police report says the girl told a deputy her father charged at her, put his hands around her throat, began to punch her and started hitting her with his shoe. The deputy noted a scratch on her neck.

The report said the deputy also interviewed Dollar's 19-year-old daughter, who said her father grabbed her sister's shoulders and slapped her in the face and choked her for about five seconds. She said her sister tried to break free, but did not fight back. When her father threw the 15-year-old on the floor, the older girl ran to get her mother. Dollar's wife, Taffi, told the deputy she did not see the fight.

Dollar launched into a lengthy denial of the allegations from the pulpit Sunday.

"The truth is that a family conversation with our youngest daughter got emotional," he said. "And emotions got involved and things escalated from there."

He said the mark on his daughter's neck had been there for about 10 years and was caused by a skin condition, eczema.

"The truth is she was not choked, she was not punched. There were not any scratches on her neck," Dollar said. "But the only thing on her neck was a prior skin abrasion from eczema. Anything else is exaggeration and sensationalism."

Dollar's 15-year-old daughter is the one who called authorities and told them her father punched and choked her. Her 19-year-old sister corroborated the story. But Dollar didn't publicly display any anger toward his children.

"I will never put any fault on my children, as Jesus would never put any fault on me," he said.

Dollar's wife, Taffi, is a co-pastor at the church. She addressed the congregation before her husband but did not touch on the allegations.

Dollar's congregation appeared supportive Sunday, giving him sustained applause as he took the stage. As he spoke, people in the sanctuary yelled encouragement: "We love you!" and "We've got your back!" As he talked about the difficulty dealing with teenage children in a "culture of disrespect," many in the crowd nodded in agreement.

Members of the church seemed to close ranks around Dollar even before he addressed them from the pulpit Sunday. Dozens of people approached by The Associated Press as they arrived for the service declined to comment, and the few who did expressed support. After the service, many were still reluctant to comment, but those who did said they were satisfied with their pastor's comments.

"When I first heard what he was accused of, I didn't believe it. I knew there had to be more to the story," said Phyllissa Wolley, 23, a daycare worker who has attended the church for about five years. "I felt like he addressed the accusations today, and I believe what he said. To hear from him personally, I really appreciated that. I was glad to hear his side of the story."

Others said the media blew the accusations out of proportion without having all the facts and they felt vindicated after hearing Dollar speak.

"I think you're looking at a bunch of sensationalism," said George Blake of Ellenwood, adding that he thought the media rushed to tell the story without knowing the full story. The 49-year-old said he never questioned his pastor of eight years.

"It's not up to me to me to be satisfied with what he had to say," Blake said. "This is a man of God spreading the word of God."

Dollar, who has five children, is a native of College Park and says he received a vision for the church in 1986. He held the first service in front of eight people in an elementary school cafeteria. His ministry grew quickly and the church moved into its present location, an 8,500-seat sanctuary, on Dec. 24, 1995.

Dollar said in a 2007 interview with The Associated Press that he renounced his church salary, and his income only comes from personal investments, including a real estate residential property business and horse breeding company called Dollar Ranch. He's also published more than 30 books, focusing mostly on family and life issues, including debt management.

He said he also sometimes got up to $100,000 for a single appearance on his packed schedule of speaking engagements.

Along with Bishop Eddie Long, Dollar is one of the most prominent African-American preachers based around Atlanta who have built successful ministries on the prosperity gospel, which teaches that God wants to bless the faithful with earthly riches. Ministers in this tradition often hold up their own wealth as evidence that the teaching works. http://news.yahoo.com/creflo-dollar-denies-punching-choking-daughter-154645000.html

Fuel scarcity looms in south west / south south

2012-06-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.punchng.com/news/fuel-scarcity-looms-in-swest-ssouth/

Otaosese: After the Wedding Ceremony, What matters to you?

2012-06-28T15:36:00.001-07:00

Otaosese: After the Wedding Ceremony, What matters to you?: Women and Men undoubtedly speak different languages, that is just how life is. You get married and then, all of a sudden you want to change ...

After the Wedding Ceremony, What matters to you?

2012-06-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

Women and Men undoubtedly speak different languages, that is just how life is. You get married and then, all of a sudden you want to change your spouse without taking responsibility for your own actions in the marriage. When we choose to stop being so self righteous and consider the needs of our spouse, we get the feeling of peace deep within us. Recently, i wrote about How to become the woman that every Nigerian man wants and Women noted the key points necessary to attract and keep that man. Now, its time for men to take note: If you do not know what matters to your wife, it could seriously dent your marriage.

In his book, Straight Talk for Men About Marriage: What Men Need to Know about Marriage (And What Women Need to Know About Men); Martin G. Friedman revealed some fabulous tactics for a great marriage.

So, what really matters to you after marriage?

1. Complete Love against Respect: Every wife yearns for limitless affection, and unconditional love. They want their husbands to display such emotions regularly. She desires that you express your love for her daily. Think about how it would feel if your wife didn't respect you. Terrible, right? The same is true for women who feel unloved.

What matters: Show your wife you love her as often as you can by being physically close to her, buying gifts and caring for her with tenderness. Display your affection for your wife by saying "i love you". Exhibit all your affection to her and she will most likely give you all her respect.

2. Appreciation: Both men and women often feel a deep sense of being under appreciated. However, Women want "Thank you" for the numerous activities they co-ordinate on a daily business. Their acts of kindness, cooking, tending to the house, motherhood and being by your side.

What matters: Declare your praises for her. The value is almost instantly realized when your wife hears "i am proud of you". This is a show of appreciation for her.

3. Sex and Sensation: Sex and sensation go together. Your wife wants you to treat her as an emotional being. Women are not wired up like men. Women feel more connected and committed to their husbands through sex. She feels loved when you crave her with love and lots of affection.

What matters: Make sensation a priority in your sex life. See sex as an emotional connection.

How to become the woman every Nigerian Man wants

2012-06-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Nigerian men may be considered demanding and most of them set high standards for their ideal woman. However with the following steps, you could find yourself being "The woman every Nigerian man wants"!

1. Always be well-mannered and presentable: Generally, women who carry themselves with good manners and groomed appearances normally command attention from men. Most of the time, being well groomed gives you an air of elegance which also calls for respect. A typical Nigerian Man loves grace in a woman (even though, they may not admit it). In addition, he wants a woman who he believes is capable of showing respect to his family by default. Psychologically, people relate our carriage to be an interpretation of our personalities. Looking presentable at all times is not necessarily pricey. So, take some time to review your closet and evaluate your manners. While assessing your wardrobe, ensure that you have decent pieces that emphasize your prominent features and make their heads turn. The effect of this is that your "market" will definitely become hotter!

2. Be a good cook: Like our mothers always say ... "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". If you are a good cook, you've got that Nigerian man! Good cooking as appreciated by Nigerian men refers to well prepared soups, stews, swallows etc. It is never too late to start though, if you aren't a good cook you can still try your hands at experimental approaches to prepare those dishes. Good food has been proven to be dramatically powerful on men - especially Nigerian men.

3. Have a good sense of Humor: A good sense of humor is not only a great personality trait, but it is also a force for attraction. One thing i found out about Nigerian men is that they appreciate a woman who can make them laugh and laugh at herself. A friend of mine told me that the first thing that attracted him to his girlfriend was her ability to pay attention to his jokes and laugh really hard even though the jokes were directed at women. This is because, Nigerian men don't take things in actuality as we women are likely to.

4. Do NOT... I REPEAT, Do NOT Be CLINGY: The fact is Nigerian men love women who are self - sufficient enough to take care of themselves.

5. Read as much as you can: The type of Nigerian men that are worth knowing expect you to display a level of intelligence in comparison to theirs. Men sometimes categorize dummies as perpetual girlfriends. Our focus is on secure men, and this class always align well with smart women. If you're currently stuck with an insecure man, now may be good time to discard him before he puts a dent on your self esteem and self worth. There are quite a number of IQ tests online, take advantage of them. The contents of what you read and watch make you more interesting to a man.

6. Be a God fearing woman: When it comes to successful relationships, God fearing women have a higher score than women who solely take matters into their own hands. A God fearing woman is easily more attractive because she understands what it means to experience love first hand due to her relationship with God. Develop a relationship with God, and you will notice that it will cause you to smile more often which which maintain a consistent glow on your face. Carry on like this and he will look forward to seeing you anytime, any day.