OUR 3 SONS

5 OF MY FAVORITE HEALTHY RECIPES

2015-04-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hope you all had a great Easter! We sure enjoyed ours. I have been saying for quite some time now that I will be sharing some healthy recipes with you all. So that is what this entry is all about! By healthy I mean.. Clean

-NOT PROCESSED

-GLUTEN FREE

-DAIRY FREE

-WHOLE FOODS

This may not be someone else's "healthy" but this is how I am currently eating. You can substitute anything or everything. For example: I am just going to say tortilla, and you can chose if its flour, corn, or gluten free tortillas. I will say that I do not deprive myself of anything, and there are some days where I eat all the food that I listed on my "do not eat, list". If I want to eat an entire tin can of Pirouline, cookies, then I will! (Just like I did the other night) But, this is not something I do everyday. I do not have an allergy to gluten or dairy, I just do not like how they make me feel when I eat them in excess, so I try to avoid them as much as I can. I am also trying to keep Gavin on a gluten and dairy free diet....which is a little difficult since the other 2 boys have already been exposed to certain foods that they don't want to give up. If I incorporate just a few meals a week that do fit into the above criteria, then the transition is a little easier.

I also must add that I do not have a Type A personality so I never follow recipes exactly ( I am sorry for all of you that are, and will probably go nuts after reading my recipes) Instead of 1/2 tsp. I may say 2 shakes of cinnamon...It is horrible and there are some circumstances where my recipes turned out DISGUSTING because I didn't follow the directions exactly...but for the recipes below I made them up and tweaked them a little until I liked them. Feel free to do the same.

#1. Fish Tacos with Jalapeño Coleslaw

This one is pretty straight forward...

-Bake, grill, or sauté your favorite fish, however you would like it.
-Chose a grain to go with it, rice, brown rice, quinoa, etc.

- Jalapeño Coleslaw:
(I DO NOT like coleslaw, I actually can't stand it, and I HATE SPICY FOODS, but this is amazing...I promise)
Depending on how many you are feeding will determine how much you will make...use your best judgement, like making a salad.
-Chop up a half head of cabbage (red or green, but I prefer red) into very small pieces, almost like skinny tiny strips.
- Do the same for a carrot or 2
- Dice up 2 jalapeños, and make sure you get out ALL the seeds or it will be very spicy.
-add 2 small splashes of apple cider vinegar (lol told you)
- add a little less than 1/4 cup of honey (or to your preference)
-throw in a few shakes of poppy seeds
- add in about 1/2 cup(once again add or take away based on your judgement, and how much you are making) of mayo (this can be Veganaise, greek yogurt, or plain ole Helmanns) whatever you prefer.
-add the juice of about 1/2 of a lime
-chop some cilantro and throw that in too.
Let this chill in the refrigerator for a few hours, so make ahead. Stuff your tortillas with your fish, grains, beans, any other toppings you want and add coleslaw on top.

#2. Red Quinoa Burgers

Make sure you cook the quinoa before you add to the meat. Make sure its drained and not holding a lot of water.

-1lb ground beef
-1- 1and a 1/2 cups of cooked quinoa
-1 egg
-a few shakes of salt and pepper (to taste)
- garlic (fresh or powder)
-dice up about half an onion.

Smash it all together with your hands and form the patties. They will be extra mushy if the quinoa was holding a lot of water, but this is ok. Just make them into the best patty you can put them on a plate or a tray and stick them into the refrigerator for 30 min. Then grill!

Add whatever toppings you like...I like feta cheese, with avocado and tomato.
Enjoy!

#3. Spaghetti with secret veggie sauce (sorry no picture)

-Ok so this recipe is one of my favorites but I am not going to tell you how to make pasta or to add meat or not....that will be left of to you. I personally do add meat, and I make gluten free, brown rice angle hair pasta.

-For the sauce: You will need a very powerful blender or this will not turn out how you want it to. I use a Vitamix, so use something similar... Ninja, Blendtec.. etc. You don't have to do this but the veggies will not be a secret :( you will have small tiny minute pieces and your kids WILL see them.

-Pick your favorite store bought sauce or make your own with tomatoes. To save some time I use an organic tomato sauce out of the jar. Pour half in the blender.

-Next you want to sauté or steam 3 carrots, 2-4 garlic cloves (depending on how much you like garlic) half an onion, 2 celery stalks spinach or kale. Not a ton of the spinach or kale because you don't want it to turn green (unless you want to turn it into "Hulk Sauce" or something of that nature.)

- Add all the veggies into the blender and blend on high for about 30 seconds. Next add this to the remainder or the sauce you have and heat it up. Add meat, salt and pepper or whatever else you want, and serve over your pasta.

#4. No grain banana protein muffins

- 2 or 3 very ripe bananas, smashed
- 3 eggs
- 1 tspn of honey
-1/4 cup of coconut flour
-1/2 cup of oat flour (you can make your own if you have a Vitamix, or something similar)
-1/2 tspn of baking soda
-1/2 tspn of baking powder
-1 tspn of vanilla
- 1/4 cup of coconut oil (or any oil will work)
a few shakes of cinnamon
Optional: I add half of a scoop of protein powder in the mix...this can be any kind or flavor you would like. I also add chocolate chips to mine, but make sure they are REAL chocolate and make sure they are made with cacao over 60%. That way you don't have to feel bad about eating chocolate because its good for you!

Mix all ingredients together, put in muffin pans, in the cupcake inserts because it will stick and bake at 375 degrees for 15-22 min or until center is done.

#5. Soba Noodle Stir Fry (sorry no picture)

This recipe is pretty much self explanatory...make your own stir fry, however soba noodles are my new "lo mein" choice. The soba noodles I use are buckwheat so they are a lot healthier for you than the lo mein and they taste almost identical.

Basic instructions: Chop some of your favorite veggies and sauté them in lots of coconut oil. I like to use carrots, onions, zucchini...just to name a few. After they are sautéed, depending on what mood I am in I will add some flavor. Some times it will be a teriyaki, soy mixture, and sometimes I add turmeric powder and butter. You can add whatever you want. You can cook chicken or another meat and add it to this mixture as well and then serve over the cooked soba noodles.

I would love to hear back from you if you try any of these and also if you put your own spin on some of them. I am always looking for new recipes and new ways of cooking. Please let me hear your feedback.

Once I can get my frazzled brain thinking straight, I can sit down and write up some more recipes to share. Hope ya'll enjoy!

Is it March Already?

2015-03-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

And Almost World Down Syndrome Day!

Kristen Pace Photography

Almost 5 months have flown by and I finally find myself having a minute to update you all. Its been a rough, depressing winter. Last I wrote, I went on an adventure of some sort to find a "cure" for my terrible back pain I was experiencing. I decided I was going to eat extremely healthy, eat an anti-inflammatory diet and find the cause of this mysterious pain that no doctor could diagnose (except for arthritis, which I wasn't going to take). I had some great recipes that I was going to share with you, (and still will) and was doing great on my journey...but the pain was still there...so to make a long story short, I cut out whole food groups...no dairy, no grains...NONE AT ALL...no sugar, to processed food, and no caffeine. So I basically ate grass...no not really but close. Fruits, veggies, meat and lots of nuts. Did I feel better? Absolutely not. I got worse...but in a different way. I lost a ton of weight (not trying to) which contributed to my problem. I got to a point where my body actually was shutting down and telling me to stop. I had a high fever, couldn't get out of bed for a few days. My body was literally using my muscle for energy...so I had to regroup and start getting myself back to a normal body weight. After a few months of struggling through that I am finally at a place where I feel is "healthy". I found out that my pain was actually "normal" for what I have been going through. My muscles are in a constant state of tension. I am lifting all day long and with Gavin's low muscle tone...it feels like he is heavier than he is. I don't want to take muscle relaxers for the next few years, and I can only get a few cortisone shots a year (which I don't really want to do either) so building muscle, exercising and strengthening my core are the best options for me. I have only been on this path for two months now, but my back pain is completely tolerable now and getting better by the day. I am having a balanced diet with a variety of food groups. Still clean eating though. Very little caffeine and sugar. Only dairy I eat is butter (to put on weight, has to be grass fed) and I am back eating grains, but all whole grains. I am hoping to put a few recipes together to share very soon...or at least our top 3, that even the kids will eat.

Gavin is doing great! He is crawling everywhere, pulling up and cruising on furniture. Will stand for a split second on his own but still hasn't mastered that yet.

We celebrated his first birthday back in November after Thanksgiving. I had a rough time on his birthday because all the feelings of his birth came flooding back to me. I had to re-live the whole thing over again. People told me that it gets better with time..and it does but just when you think you are doing better....wham! All those horrible feelings hit you smack in the face. Lots of ups and downs again and the depressing winter we have had didn't help at all. I will say that this little boy is amazing. His little personality is contagious and he is so loving! As much as I don't like DS, and I can't stand the fact that he will have to work harder at everything he does in life, does not change the way I feel about HIM. I hate his diagnosis but love this boy unconditionally. Its safe to say this kid really loved his party very much.

"Ahhhh, CAKE! My mom hasn't given me any sugar my entire first year of life!"

Not sure about this hat

Just tried some cake

Gavin celebrating with two of his buddies

Christmas came and went very fast as always. And 2015 brought lots of new therapies for Gavin. We started our neurodevelopmental therapy program that we traveled to Atlanta for. This is something we do on our own at home everyday with Gavin, lots of flashcards, exercises and touch therapy. Its lots of work..no lie! I barely have enough time during the day to get 3 kids fed, clothed, bathed, etc. but adding therapies into that mix, makes my head spin. We also started seeing a cranio-sacral therapist who is really good. She manipulates his skull and facial bones to help with certain problems that children may have: fluid in his ears, congestion, mouth breathing etc. The last 2 thing we added were speech and oral motor skills. Gavin is STILL nursing. Yes, he is 15 months and ONLY TAKES THE BREAST! The boy eats grilled cheese sandwiches, and veggie straws but does not know how to swallow liquids!!! Talk Tools is supposed to help him with oral motor function and eventually be able to swallow liquids from something other than me! Besides the drinking problem he is doing great with everything else. Just wanting to be like his big brothers.

Christmas 2015

Lukas on the other hand is regressing on being potty trained. After almost a year of being trained with the occasional accident, he started going in his pants 2-3 times a day! I don't know why, and I don't know what to do about it. Is this a phase? Is he doing it for more attention? I would love any advice from someone who has gone through this. On a positive note, he learned how to ride his bike without training wheels! A 2 year old riding a bike with a diaper and a paci...how funny?? Besides that, hes still the cool, crazy middle child who is constantly getting into stuff.
Zachary is ready for school to be out for summer :( Kindergarten isn't the same as it used to be. There is a lot more pressure and not as much fun. He is learning a lot and does enjoy it once he gets there, I just feel like we fight every morning to get him to go to school. He absolutely hates getting up early (which who can blame him?) He celebrated his 6th birthday last week and is so excited that he is finally older, lol...I am not excited :(

SkyZone with his friend and brother

Pizza was birthday dinner

We have both the boys in spring soccer and this is Lukas' first time playing so this will be interesting.

Such a cute!

Last weekend we went to the IDSC (International Down Syndrome Coalition) meet-up in Charlotte, NC which was a lot of fun. We got to meet some other families that are going through some of the same things we are going through. I was extremely optimistic after hearing and seeing some of the children and talking with their parents. It was a lot of fun and a great way to kick off the month of World Down Syndrome Day. Which brings me to my next topic...

Love these two, don't know what I'd do without them

Enjoying the wave pool at The Great Wolf Lodge!

***This Saturday, 3/21 is WDSD and I am asking for you ALL to show your support and raise awareness for Down syndrome. ***

Here are 2 ways that YOU can do this:

1. Show support by wearing your craziest socks you own. If you don't own crazy socks...mismatch them or wear 3 socks for 3 chromosomes. Wear them March 21st, take a picture and tag me on Facebook or Instagram... I wanna see you rockin your socks!!

2. I am asking all of you to take the 3/21 PLEDGE. Ruby's Rainbow is an awesome organization that grants scholarships to adults with Down syndrome who are seeking post-secondary education. Their goal is to create awareness of the capabilities of these individuals and help them achieve their dreams of higher education. You can read more about them here.

-The pledge is that you donate just $21 (to Ruby's Rainbow)
-To be kind and compassionate to people of all abilities
-Ask just 3 of your friends to take the pledge with you and donate $21 to this organization. I just took the pledge...who else is with me? Let me know when you take the pledge and I will send you a Down syndrome awareness rubber bracelet.

If you want to see Ruby's Rainbow in action, and see some of the young adults that they have helped, check out this article from Kelle Hampton's blog, Enjoying the Small Things. Kelle went to Western Carolina University and visited two of Ruby's Rainbow scholarship recipients. Kelle is also the author of the book, Bloom. This was the first book I read after Gavin's diagnosis and it is such an amazing book...it gave me so much hope, something to look forward to.

I hope you all take the pledge, and rock your socks on Saturday! Can't wait to see them!

Much love,
XOXO

Healing your body from the inside out

2014-10-23T11:47:00.002-07:00

A bunch of people have asked me about my new diet aka my new way of living. Apparently through my craziness I have inspired some people to start eating clean and healthy themselves. (Which is awesome!) I know a lot of you are wondering what I'm eating and want some recipes so.... I figured I would take some time to talk about this. Once a week I'm going to try and post what we ate for dinner the week before.

First I need to say- this is what I CHOSE to do for myself... This does not mean you need or have to do this. You may just want to detox from sugar or maybe nothing at all. Maybe you just want to eat less processed, chemical containing food. Great! Hopefully you will take something from this post but it's nothing personal, I think you all are great the way you are ... This is strictly me sharing what I am doing and if you want to join then keep reading...

Right now I am eating gluten, dairy, and sugar free. This is NOT to lose weight although the pounds do literally drop off of you. I am doing this strictly because I have had chronic back pain for years and after that third baby my back when down hill fast. Because of the pain (and Gavin's diagnosis) my occasional anxiety attacks turned into general anxiety that I was suffering with everyday. I did a ton of research on healing my gut to heal my mind and body. I will spare you all the details, google it if you are interested on the "why?" But the first week of giving up sugar and caffeine made a HUGE difference in the anxiety. Let me so say this was THE hardest thing in the world. I was eating a few butterfingers a day on top of sugary creamer in my coffee, baked goods, cookies, ice cream every night. Halloween was becoming my favorite holiday. So if I can do it, YOU can do it. After a couple weeks it got easier to say no and find alternatives (ie: I drink pumpkin spice chai tea with French vanilla coconut creamer). Then I went a but harder ... Bread and cheese! Nooooo! I don't know anyone that doesn't love bread and cheese. But for pain reasons, they went bye bye. Fast forward to a month later and I am still doing this. I survived the hardest part! Is my pain gone? No not yet, but it takes time, it took years for my body to process all these chemicals and sugars so it will take longer than a few weeks to detox. My mind however can handle my pain a little more. My anxiety is completely under control.

Now.... What do I eat? What is left to eat? Hmmm NOTHING. I snack on some grass and some leaves.. Lol no really I eat and I eat every 5 min because I'm starving half the time. The veggies and fruits do not like to stay with you. Basically you have to get creative and once you do you will find there is a ton of food to eat. Your taste buds change and you start trying new things. I was told to give up grains too but since I am still nursing and my milk supply has already went down, I cannot give grains up right now. I have also needed to supplement with more protein since I'm not a huge meat eater for every meal.

Let me also state that I am trying my best to switch the boys over since this is ultimately where I want us all to be (especially GAVIN). But they are kids and as you all know kids do not like change. I do make them eat a few bites of what we are having but I add cheese, or bread (sprouted bread) to their meal. So basically I take what we are having and modify it for them. I got Lukas ( who put himself on the beige diet: pretzels, bread, goldfish) to eat an entire plate of asparagus by bribing him with bacon. Bacon plus asparagus is much better that beige diet and NO veggie. I love to sneak veggies in their foods. Be creative!

I have done a very mild detox but once I am done nursing I will do a crazy strict whole entire body detox which will hopefully jump me up to the next level. So when that time comes please let me know if you are interested in it too and we can all hold each other accountable.

Here is a sample of what I eat in a day

Breakfast: oatmeal with fruit and a smoothie -( I call it "the mix every supplement and powder I have that I don't know what to do with", smoothie)

Start with these: Almond or coconut milk (put everything in a Vitamix, Ninja, whatever high powered blender you have). Just make sure it can break down the cell wall in the raw veggies.

Then add these:

I finish by adding some ice, because its usually warm when I am done blending. Yuck :(

Lunch: a variety of things: hard boiled egg, veggies and dip, salsa, gluten free bread with hummus.

Snacks: almonds, fruit, dried fruit, another smoothie. Basically anything I can find. Kombucha which you can make whole made or this store bought already made one is my favorite !!

Dinner: I have a variety of dinners that have been successful so we stick mostly with those. Mainly a grass fed organic meat, lots of veggies and a grain (millet, brown rice, quinoa, gluten free pasta). Weekly dinner meal plan to come...

Dessert : fruit or my go to is a rice cake with some dark chocolate, or almond butter. I have made some delicious baked goods with gluten free or almond flour and the kids love them. They have no added sugar in them. The trick is to put dark chocolate chips. The higher the cacao % the better. I strive for anything over 75%. Dark chocolate is very high in antioxidants and has barely any sugar, but I still call it my "cheat" item. I need this sweetness (actually very bitter) so that I don't punch someone in the face for some candy, because my sugar withdrawals are so bad lol. It's my one little thing that I can look forward to each day. So this is what I have to say about "cheat " items. It has to be something small and preferably once a day. Say you just HAVE to put a sprinkle of cheese on a vegetable... Ok. But that's it, not the whole block. You can't have 5 cheats a day. Or if you absolutely have to have a little cream or a little sugar in your coffee or tea. Fine! Give yourself that little bit of happiness....But that doesn't mean go get a grande caramel macchiato with whipped cream. That is not called a "cheat" that is called, "I'm not ready to give up sugar and dairy". So be smart and aware of what you are putting into your body. Your body will thank you for it.

I will get my meal plan together and post soon... Be on the lookout

Oh and please feel free to ask me any questions you may have:)

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!

2014-10-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

“October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, a chance to spread awareness. During the month of October, we celebrate people with Down syndrome and make people aware of our abilities and accomplishments. It’s not about celebrating disabilities, it’s about celebrating abilities.” Chris Burke

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and let me just say that this time last year I don't think I even knew about it being in the month of October. I probably wasn't even aware. See, when you aren't directly affected by something then you have a tendency to overlook it. This was the case with many things in my world. Not that I didn't care, or didn't want to, it was just that I was not educated or aware of certain things going on around me everyday. That is one thing I can say I definitely learned in the last 10 months from having a son with DS. Every day I find out something knew about children with special needs and I want to be aware of what they are going through and how I can help... I am not ignorant anymore, and I don't live under a rock, in my little bubble where my life is "perfect" and "normal". God rocked my boat 10 months ago, and I thought it was the end of the world. But I am here to tell you that everyday it gets better, and I am finally in a place where I am not sad anymore. It may have seemed like the end, but it was just the beginning to something beautiful and different. Something that I wasn't familiar with, but in time i've seen that Gavin is truly a blessing, not a hindrance. I am so unbelievably grateful for this little boy.

Down syndrome is NOT a disease, its not a death sentence, and its certainly NOT a negative thing! DS is not the problem, its our society and how some people view it.... yes, most of these children do things at a slower pace physically and cognitively but they still do them! They are just like any of us, and deserve love just the same.

I want to personally challenge all of you to spread awareness this month... (well every month, but especially this one)... in ALL or the following 3 ways (or at least one):

1. Carry out a random act of kindness- everyday this month, do something kind for someone else...if can be anything you want as long as its from the heart, and there are no stipulations.

2. Share information with friends, family and your community- Here is some great information from The National Down Syndrome Society and also some myths and facts.

3. Participate in a Down syndrome walk. Our local Buddy Walk is this coming Sunday and we would love to have you join our team, however if you do not live locally, you can reach out to your local Down syndrome association and find out when their walk is. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, consider donating to an organization. If you would like to join our team and walk with us, or donate you can do so here. To find a local Down syndrome organization near you, please visit this site.

I would like to share this video with you, in hopes that you will all share it to. Thank You.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall

2014-09-24T12:32:00.004-07:00

Happy Fall! It has been way too long since I have been around the blogging world and once again for the same reasons....LIFE. I realized today that summer is over and fall is here and I ask myself, "where did it go?".... What have we been up to this summer? To be honest, this summer was a hard one for me. I love to fill my summer with lots of activities that are focused on water and/or sand. I love to have my toes in the sand, soaking up lots of sun rays. Well, I barely made a dent on my summer bucket list.... For the most part, I was what you call a hermit. It is exhausting getting 3 littles out of the house; add in sand, bathing suits, clothes, food etc....and I would be on my death bed when we got home. We made the best of it though and I just kept reminding myself that there will be plenty more summers when the kids are older and we are able to do more, and not to wish this time away.

We started off the summer getting family pictures taken since we keep having kids and our pictures are outdated. Getting pictures of 3 boys five and under is quite a chore...let me just tell you...Children/family photographers are saints!

Photographer: Sarah Rogers with Sully and Willis Photography

Since we took the boys to Disney World over Easter break, we decided to not go on a summer vacation this year. We did however go on a mini vacation to visit our family in GA, for the 4th of July. We also visited the Atlanta Aquarium while we were there.

Cousins

The boys enjoyed swimming almost everyday and Zachary learned how to swim this summer and Lukas wasn't far behind.

No, Lukas can't swim alone..he has a bubble on his back

Lukas is finally potty trained (woo hoo), and I am loving this 1 less in diapers thing. We got Zachary into modeling, which he loves to do since he is a total ham.

My lil Gap model

Love this cutie

Gavin got his first haircut at 7 months old. This is a record since the other boys were way over one years old before a first haircut. When you have to put your child's hair in a ponytail for him to be able to see....its time!

He started physical therapy and occupational therapy... so with those two and seeing his early interventionist we have a total of 3 therapy sessions a week! He is doing great at sitting up but he still not crawling. He just rolls like crazy to get where he wants to go. I know they say, "he will do it when he is ready", but it's still very frustrating to see the months pass by and your baby not doing what others his age are. This is a constant battle with me but I try to look at the bigger picture. He will stand....if you put him into that position, but hey! I am going to celebrate any accomplishment.

Look at me!

He is still a chunker and is gaining weight like crazy. He's in the 50 percentile on a typical chart. Still 100% nursing and will not drink from a bottle which makes for a very tired mama! This is a huge goal that we are working towards with OT. We are not trying for a bottle anymore though because he is almost 10 months and soon he will need to drink from a cup. He is a little slower on eating food and has a hard time swallowing it.... but still working so hard and getting better everyday. His OT brought us a new spoon to try and viola! Who would have thought... The spoon was all it took for him to start eating/swallowing better.

This is a Maroon Spoon from The Equipment Shop

We are so proud of our little G... He is such an outgoing, lovable, little social butterfly, who loves attention.

Eating his puffs

This summer, Curtis and I decided to start some DIY projects... this was our way of spending quality time together and also would benefit me on the side (lol). So we decided to build our very own rustic farmhouse table. After several mistakes, a few bad arguments and very close to a separation, we finished this beautiful table!

I was shocked at how good it actually turned out. The finish took me forever since I am so indecisive, but I am so pleased with it. I will be posting here soon, an entire page about the table and what we did, for all of you who would like to know.

My baby is in kindergarten :(

School started a few weeks ago and my sweet Zachary started kindergarten....he loves it, except for the getting up at 6:30am part. As much as I like the break, I miss him like crazy. When I went to kindergarten, we went for a half day. He is gone from 7-3! This is something I am going to have to get use to.

Lukas started going to preschool again two mornings a week and verdict is still out on if he likes it or not. With two year olds...one day they like something and the next they hate it. So Gavin and I have some time alone those two mornings.

This past weekend we had Gavin dedicated over in GA with out family. My mom and dad came from NJ so that my dad could do the dedication which was really nice. Its hard doing life without any family close by so we jumped at the opportunity to have most of us together. We are so grateful for our family and friends that were able to be there with us.

My daddy, praying over Gavin

We had the dedication at a park in the woods

New "Diet"

The newest thing that our family has started is a new, healthy, clean way of eating. We have always eaten fairly healthy but some medical concerns and conditions that Gavin may have in the future has turned me turn into a researching food freak. Apparently children with Down syndrome have a harder time eating and digesting certain foods, than some would. Those certain foods are in our everyday diet. A lot of health conditions can be helped or even resolved just from changing what you put into your body. Before he understands that I am feeding him something different than the rest of us, I need to change the way I eat and slowly incorporate it into our everyday meals. I will talk more about this later in another post and go into it a bit further but at this current time we are going to be doing a detox....detoxing from processed foods and sugar. Sugar is a hard thing to give up here at the house. It's seriously like crack and this was probably the worst time to eliminate it (Halloween right after the corner). I will be putting Gavin on the GAPS diet once he gets better at eating. This diet is pretty crazy and strict but I want to help him in any way that I can, and this seems to be what has helped a lot of kids with DS. I hate calling it a "diet" because we won't actually be dieting...we will be changing our way of life. If you are interested in finding out more, or would like some yummy whole food recipes, be on the lookout for my next post.

Brothers being silly

This is our last time eating at Five Guys :(

Gavin loves his brothers

Well, that's it for now....I hope you all had a fabulous summer, and enjoy the cooler weather coming in.

CONTENTMENT

2014-06-12T12:07:00.000-07:00

There's that saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side". Well I want to know...Is the grass always greener on the other side? When will MY grass be green on MY side? I find myself constantly sounding like a 3 year old- "I want this, I want that, I want I want I want". I know I sound ridiculous, but will I ever be content with what I have?

We as mothers tend to be very hard on ourselves. We as women in general tend to be hard on ourselves.
We want to be skinnier
We want to be taller
We want to be prettier
We want to be better at everything
We want an awesome career
We want to be married to prince charming and have well-behaved kids
We want to be the worlds best mom
We want to be the worlds craftiest mom
We want to be a organized, and keep a clean house, and be an amazing cook, and the list goes on and on....

For awhile I was blaming it on social media- Facebook, Pinterest, etc..or just the fact that this is how we are wired. We are women, and we do A LOT of comparing. If you don't do A, B, or C, like Mrs. Jones, then you are not a good mom. Well, we need to cut ourselves a break. Just because we throw an awesome birthday party, or cook our family a 4 course gourmet meal, or keep our house spotless and organized does not make a world class mom. All you need is LOVE :) But lets be real.... I can tell myself this all day long, and by the next day I am back to re-decorating my house, or coming up with a new idea for my backyard oasis.

Priorities change, and mine change a lot faster than others. A word I need to install in my vocabulary is CONTENTMENT. I know what the Bible says on this and one of my favorite verses is Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
This is a lot easier said then done. Maybe my "wants" run a lot deeper than just comparison. I ran across a quote the other day that really hit me. Maybe I am constantly trying to keep myself busy with projects and buying material things because I am trying to fill a void or this emptiness I feel inside. The quote is by Florence Welch- "When you are heartbroken, you are at your most creative- you have to channel all your energies into something else to not think about it."

When you're heartbroken, you're at your most creative - you have to channel all your energies into something else to not think about it.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/contentment.html#KVBtSVHUctsUgX5l.99

I wouldn't say I am heartbroken, but my heart does still heart. I am crazy in love with my lol G-man and I don't want to change or replace him ever..... but will I ever be content with not having that baby that I "lost"? The one that I daydreamed about for 9 months? Could this be what I am trying to fill? We were sure that we were done having children after Lukas, but obviously that wasn't Gods plan, so after another positive pregnancy test, I hounded Curtis for awhile about getting snipped. Well fast forward 9 months...no for real THE DAY before Gavin was born, Curtis lost his manhood.. just kidding..it wasn't that bad. So.... now that we cannot have anymore children, I decide that I MAY WANT more! Why?!!! Is it because I want what I can't have? Or are these feelings somehow trying to replace that baby I didn't have? If Gavin didn't have Down syndrome, would I still want more? I don't know!!!!!

I like to always end on a positive note, showing that I have learned something from my thoughts and words and I am a better person for it. I want to be able to share right now that I AM FINALLY CONTENT WHERE I AM! But I can't seem to do that right now. I am still working through a lot of things, and that's OK. It doesn't mean that I am ungrateful for what I have, because I am extremely thankful for everything that I have been blessed with...

The one thing I am sure of, is that I love my children. God blessed me with 3 awesome children, but especially with Gavin, for reasons I may not know or understand right now. I need to try my best and keep working towards being content. I need to start living life with the children I do have, and stop worrying about the ones I don't, and may never have. I will get there.

Update

2014-06-12T11:20:00.001-07:00

Its been a little while since I have given an update on Gavin. He is now 6 1/2 months and seems to be doing great! We've had a ton of doctor appointments and therapies over the last week.

At his 6 month well baby check he weighed in at 18lbs, and 26 inches. He is approximately in the 50%, which his pediatrician said is great. They usually go by a different weight and height chart in children with Down syndrome.

He is progressing in his physical therapy and getting a little stronger everyday. He has been sitting by himself for a short time but was reminded that hes actually only "propping" himself with his arms like a tripod. OH WELL! in my book, he is still sitting by himself.. and we are going to continue to praise him for the things that other people take for granted. Before I know it he will be crawling so I am ok with him taking his time on reaching some of these goals.

At his ENT appointment, I was once again annoyed because I feel like I constantly get the run around there. No one seems to know anything and I see a different doctor or PA every time I go. They do a ton of different hearing tests but never know anything. Every time it comes back "inconclusive" So why am I going at this moment in time???? After voicing my concern, the doctor suggested we put him under anesthesia and clean out any build up in his extra narrow ear canals. They cannot do this while he is awake because for one it will severely irritate him and also so that he will hold still. Once everything is clear they will be able to see his ear drum and go ahead and put his tubes in. Once tubes are in, and fluid is drained they will THEN do the ABR test AGAIN to determine how well or how little he is able to hear. I know tubes are a pretty routine surgery that everyone tells me is no big deal however he will be only be 7 months and he will be under an hour and a half. With just getting tubes you are in and out in 15 min, but with cleaning and testing him afterwards he will be under a lot longer. None of my boys have ever had to be put under and so I will admit that this makes me a little nervous. At least we will know whats going on with his hearing finally! So..... July 1st is the big day. Please keep G in your prayers.
Thanks!

5 on Friday

2014-06-06T20:27:00.004-07:00

This week has gone by so fast and although it was a stressful one, here our 5 things that I loved about the week.

One

My new favorite breakfast spot downtown Charleston. Although it may not look like very much, breakfast was amazing here! The kids chocolate chip pancakes were scrumptious and that's saying a lot from a fellow chocolate lover. They also had carrot cake, peaches and cream and a banana chocolate chop pancake. Yum! They had chicken and waffles (a first for me) and all sorts of different flavored French toast. If you go for lunch try the tomato pie. Amazing!

Two

Picnic lunches in the living room. Yes! We are still in our jammies.

Three

Cookie dough balls!

Yes, my friends raw cookie dough that you can eat and won't be freaked out about getting salmonella poisoning! And trust me they are so good you will eat the whole batch! Here is the recipe:

Mix

1 stick of softened butter

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/4 granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2tbspoons milk

Then you add 1 and 1/3 cup flour

1/2 tspn of salt

1/2 bag of MINI choc chips (since they aren't melted the regular sized choc chips are just too overwhelming)

Then you form them into balls and either eat them plain or you can chill and dip into whatever your heart desires!

Four

Swim lessons. Zachary started swim lessons this week and hopefully Lukas will start soon too. He of course gives his instructor every excuse in the book as to why he needs to take breaks and why he can't go under the water without his goggles on lol.

Five

Homemade pizza and garlic knots.

Whenever I make homemade pizza I use the leftover dough to make these super easy garlic knots. You literally tie the dough in a knot, bake them at the same time you are baking the pizza. Once they are out, drizzle melted butter, garlic, salt, and Italian seasoning over them and enjoy!

Friday Favorites

2014-05-30T13:21:00.001-07:00

Every Friday I am going to attempt to pick out some of my favorite things that happened the past week or just some of my favorite shots and share them with you all.

So this past week, Gavin started sitting on his own AND rolling from his back to stomach. Yay Gav!

Oh! and he turned 6 months old too!

Cutest little baby shoe I have ever seen (again I am obsessed with baby feet)

Lukas, of course, got into many things this week....

Brown sugar!!!! and Yes! It was all over the place!

My mascara... all over the wall too!

Zachary graduated from preschool and will be starting kindergarten next year :(

so proud!

His teachers <3

Break dancing downtown for the Spoletto Festival was a lot of fun. Lukas did an awesome job and kind of stole the show.

Check out the real dancers, scoping him out

Get it boy!

Watching his big brother..so sweet!

Beautiful Charleston day, watching the boats

Also, if you didn't know, my friend and I started a business a couple years ago setting up, decorating, and coordinating weddings. If you would like to check out what we do, and some of our other weddings you can click here.

Here are some photos that I took from the wedding last weekend

Enjoy your weekend!!

Hugs and Kisses to you all!

2014-05-05T12:34:00.001-07:00

I know I am super late, and this is way overdue but I wanted to say thank you to all our family and friends who supported Gavin on World Down Syndrome Day! You all raised some serious awareness for Down syndrome, and we were super excited about it. We are extremely blessed to have you all in our lives. It was a great day here and we had a blast celebrating our little man. Just wanted to share some pictures of some of our supporters from all over the United States! Love you all!

World Down Syndrome Day 3-21

2014-03-20T20:14:00.001-07:00

In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, I wanted to write about Down syndrome, and how to show awareness. Gavin is almost 4 months old now, and in those short 4 months I have learned so much. The way I think about life has changed, and through all of this, my heart has opened up and I have become so aware of many different disabilities that I didn't even know existed! This world may be full of pain and suffering, but it is also a world of beauty and love, selfless love. Things may not go how you expect them to go, but you will find the beauty in them. I have feelings that I never dreamed I could feel.

As much as I have learned and grown, I still often asks myself, "why do you think you were chosen for this journey?" I may never know the answer but I sure try to figure it out. Maybe it's to teach me patience I am the most inpatient person in the world I am constantly hurrying from place to place. I lose my cool a lot on the kids when we are in a rush to get somewhere and they are dragging their feet. Maybe it's God's way of showing me that I have to find beauty even if it's in the package that I didn't expect I need to learn to love regardless of the cards that I am dealt. Call me a little materialistic or just crazy but I have a problem with symmetry and how you look. I had braces but my mid-line does not line up and therefore I want braces again. My nose is crooked so it drives me absolutely bonkers. I don't think I've told many people this but when Lukas was born one of his ears stuck out more than the other one and I wanted to have surgery on his ear so bad. Curtis called me crazy of course and we never did it. It still sometimes bothers me to this day. And I need to learn that it doesnt matter what someone looks like, or what they can and can't do, what matters is where their heart and soul are at. Now looking back on it, I find it silly compared to everything else we're going through now. And lastly, maybe God decided to give us Gavin because he knows I have such a big heart for children or a sad heart and I want every child to be loved and appreciated. Whatever the reason is I know in my heart that our lives are changed for the better.

One of my favorite blogs is Noah's dad . His son Noah has Down syndrome and their site is so informative and also very entertaining. He answers a lot of questions from people all over the world. He does an awesome job at spreading awareness all the time, you all should check it out, if you haven't already. If you want to learn more about Down syndrome Rick, (Noah's dad) put together a post and it is very simple and straight forward. You can view that HERE . Down syndrome does not define a person it's not who they are, it just happens to be something that they were diagnosed with. Gavin will be his own person, he will have his own identity. He may do things slower or more delayed than other kids but he will still do them at his own pace and in his own time.

So for National Down Syndrome Awareness Month, I am going to be raising awareness for Down syndrome. If you would like ...please join me in letting the world know that Down syndrome is ok. On his website he has 14 ideas to help you make the most of Down syndrome awareness month. I am challenging myself to do all 16 or at least most of them. One of them is to make an informational down syndrome video so I am going to use his video because I like is better lol. Please watch this video, it is very informative and you might just learn something you didn't know.

Another option he suggested was to create a Down syndrome resource board on Pinterest. If you are not following me on Pinterest please do, because that is the next thing I am going to be working on. I am also going to be posting a Down syndrome fact a day on my Facebook page. And one of my favorite suggestions that he offered was to start a YouTube channel to share your videos of your little one. This way it can show other people how normal your life really is with a child with Down syndrome. In my next post I will also be sharing top 10 blogs by families but other families raising a child with down syndrome I'll be sharing this on my blog sometime soon. Thank you Noah's dad for these awesome ideas.

The last thing I want to talk about is using the R word. Just because I had a child with down syndrome does not mean I automatically blocked the word retarded word from my vocabulary. After reading an article and watching this video clip, I realized that it's very offensive to use that word even if you are not meaning it in that way. Without thinking I would say phrases like "that's retarded" or "oh man, I cant believe I did that, I'm so retarded." I never used it in an offensive way and directed towards anyone. I grew up using that word and it is very hard to break a long term habit but I am consciously aware of it and I am going to take the pledge. Please take 30 seconds and watch this short film about why using the "R" word is wrong.

There is actually a campaign called : "Spread the Word"- spread the word to end the word. Help raise awareness about the hurtfulness of using the r-word.

We love our lil "G" so much and cannot imagine our lives without him. Don't be scared of Down syndrome. It truly is ok. It saddens my heart to hear of so many people that abort babies that have Ds. Maybe our world would be a happier place if we had more people with Down syndrome.

Please join us tomorrow in wearing your blue and yellow to show awareness and support! Support baby Gavin! Show him some love :)

HAPPY DOWN SYNDROME DAY!!

Love this!

**** Be sure to enter your email in the box at the top of the page and subscribe so that you can stay connected. You will also be notified when I publish a new post****

Just a little bit of what we have been up to...

2014-03-18T12:19:00.001-07:00

First, I want to let you all know that I may be the worlds worst blogger. I have a problem staying on track, and committed to something. My intentions are always good but I cannot even remember what I did this morning. So.... here we are, weeks later and I am just now remembering to sit down and write.
What have we been up to the last few weeks? A little bit of everything. Zachary turned 5 last week and we had a Batman celebration. He had a blast and absolutely LOVES being 5. The first few days he didn't quite "feel" 5, but now he does so all is well. How do I feel? OLD. Turning 30 this past year made me realize that as much as I knew I was getting older I never felt it, until now. You want your kids to grow up and do awesome things, however knowing that these past 5 years just flew by, makes me sad and I don't want him to grow up anymore :(

I made everything for the party and got some pretty creative ideas from Pinterest (of course). I love doing this sort of thing even though most of the time the kids don't even notice or care. I guess its more for me, and the fact that one day they will hopefully look back and appreciate it. I could buy everything and I am sure they would love it just the same but I guess its my creative side that thinks this is the better way.

Recently the weather here in Charleston has been so unpredictable. One day its 80 degrees, then the next it drops in the 30's and then we get rain for a week straight. We did have a few nice days where we could take the boys to the park or the beach to play. This was Gavin's first trip to the beach and I think he really enjoyed it.


I adore baby feet

We do photo shoots as much as possible! I am one of those moms that takes pictures of every step they take. No lie! I take around 100 pictures a week on my iphone. I want to remember every smile, and every moment of them experiencing life...what better way than pictures? So here are a couple of my favorites...

Those lips!

Gavin started therapy this past week as well. We met his early interventionist and she seems very friendly. He doesn't seem to be behind in anything at the moment, since he is only a baby. He is doing everything he should be doing as an almost 4 month old. When and if he starts falling behind then we will be having more appointments with other therapists, but for the time being we are just working on simple things. Gavin's homework: sitting up unsupported and shaking a rattle. He absolutely loved his therapist blowing bubbles for him.

Bubbles!

Such a big boy

We have been back to the ENT, and Gavin still has fluid in his ears. Looks like tubes will be in his near future. As much as I wanted the fluid to drain on it's own, I also want the best for him and give him every opportunity for his speech not to be severely delayed, so if that means tubes, then tubes it is. Besides that he is a happy baby...always smiling and cooing...he is already showing us his little personality and laughing up a storm. He does want to be held 24/7 which makes it hard for me to do anything else, but I am thankful for all the snuggle time. We are just taking everything else one day at a time, which is extremely hard for me to do. I need to learn patience and I need to learn to stop focusing on all the what ifs and live in the moment. So with that being said, at this moment we are doing great, and that is such a wonderful thing!

I hope you all have a great week, and remember that Friday is World Down Syndrome Day (3-21). Make sure you wear some blue and yellow and show your support :)

Family Fun-Day

2014-02-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Since today is Presidents Day, Curtis and the boys were all home, so we decided to make it a family day. Last week we had a huge ice storm here in SC, and since the boys were stuck in the house most of the week, we decided get out of the house and have some fun. We have lived in the Charleston area for 7 years and still have not seen all the historical spots here yet. Today we decided on Charlestowne Landing. This place is absolutely gorgeous! We were definitely missing out. Once we arrived there I had no idea how big this place actually was. We went back and forth about taking the double stroller or the single, and we went with the single...I am here to tell you that if you go there with little ones...TAKE THE DOUBLE! We walked and walked and walked some more. It is definitely worth it, but what we did not know is that you can bring your bikes or scooters and ride around the trails and paths.... this is a must for next visit. I took lots of pictures to share.... Enjoy!

Legare-Waring House

Gavin slept the whole time, so he missed out

Huge pine cones

Taking a break from walking

The boys were so excited when we found out that they also had a mini zoo. We saved this part for last to give them some motivation to keep walking.

The Red Wolf

To Vaccinate or Not To Vaccinate...That is The Question

2014-02-11T16:32:00.001-08:00

***Update at the bottom ***

Let me start this post by stating that I am not here to make anyone feel bad for vaccinating or not, nor am I wanting to have a heated argument about this matter. I am simply stating my thoughts, feelings, and concerns. I know this is a controversial subject so please keep an open mind while reading this.

With my first two boys, I chose to split up and spread out their vaccinations. This was not a hard decision for me because I had already done a ton of research beforehand ... I read books and articles and came up with my own game plan. I took what other people said into consideration, but in the end it was my decision. This time around I am having a hard time.

I do not consider myself a "crunchy" mom, but I am definitely not a "creamy" mama either. Since I do share characteristics from both sides, I would say I am somewhere in the middle. I will chose a natural remedy(that actually works) over an RX any day, but sometimes it is necessary to take a prescription. I think we eat pretty healthy, and I chose to eat organic over non as well. I like to use natural ingredients as much as possible, but I love my sweets. So yes, when it comes to vaccinations I am also somewhere in the middle. I respect both sides, and I understand both sides. Do I want my child to die from a horrible disease that may have been easy to prevent? NO of course not! but do I want my child to die from a side effect of a vaccine? No way! So what is a parent supposed to do? The reason this decision is so much harder for me this time around is because our pediatrician suggests (as most do) to get all vaccinations when they tell me to...especially Gavin since with Ds he told me that his white blood cell count is lower and that he will have a lower chance of fighting off an infection or disease. This seems like a no brainer, however... because he will have a hard time fighting off certain things, he will also have a hard time fighting the foreign substances being injecting into his body. (which at his 2 month appointment, the other day, would have been 8 vaccines) It's like chemical overload for his little baby body. Also, vaccinations lower your immune system temporarily, which is why you are more susceptible to getting sick. This is also something I worry about for Gavin. It's a catch 22! I have asked a few people and they tell me to ask my pediatrician on their opinion. But in this case...that's not such good idea since they are EXTREMELY PRO-vaccinations, I will only get a one sided opinion.

Like I said above, I am not anti-vaccinations...although there are a few that I WILL NOT get, (if you want to know which ones and my reasons, you can email me). Zachary is 4 years old and he is up to date on his shots, and I split them up as much as I possibly could. Yes, this means it's more inconvenient for me as I have to take him a few more times to the doctor but it is definitely worth it to me. But once again, this is my decision and as a parent its your decision as well. I am not here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. All I ask is that you educate yourself on both sides and make a decision that's best for you and your family. I love Dr. Sears, and I love his book, The Vaccine Book. He has an alternative schedule in his book, but he does not push either way, he just informs you on each vaccine, including the ingredients and any side effects. This way you know what you are putting in your child's body instead of just following along with everyone else.

So with all that being said, I for once don't have an answer for this. I am pretty sure I going to proceed the same way I did with my other two. I need to do some more research and I would also love to hear from any other moms or dads who have a child with Ds and what they chose to do. I am honestly torn....

On a positive note... Gavin weighed in at a whopping 12lbs 4 oz! He has gained 4 lbs in a month, and yes, he is still a breastfed baby. He is so much more alert now. He is attentive and loves to look at the world around him. He is now smiling, laughing and cooing, which just melts my heart.

****Update on Audiologist/ENT Appointment****

Last week Gavin had an appointment for an ABR, (Auditory Brainstem Response). Basically from what I gathered, this is a test to see if there is any electrical activity in the brain through the use of electrodes on the scalp, after hearing different sounds. So in laments terms, they are trying to bypass the fluid in his ears to see if he has hearing loss, and to what degree. The outcome? I have no idea! To be honest, I was not extremely happy with that ENT practice. I felt like I never got a good answer. I was there for 5 hours and I felt like I kept getting pushed off on someone else. The only answer I got was that he is NOT deaf. Which I already knew because he startles with loud noises. They said they would have to write up a report but they could not get accurate readings on all the tests that they performed. A doctor was supposed to go over the report but because it took so long, that specific doctor had already left so we saw a PA instead. She had no idea what was going on and even stated that the next step would be an ABR....HELLO??!!!! Is that not what we were just doing for the past 5 hours??? Then she writes me a script for an antibiotic to (and in her words) "try and dry the fluid up". I am no rocket scientist, but if there is no infection, how is an antibiotic going to dry up amniotic fluid? I double checked with my pediatrician and he didn't think that was a good idea, and if anything we should try a decongestant. We do not know anything else at this time, and we may never know, until the fluid drains or he has tubes put in. From there we will be able to see if he has any degree of hearing loss or not. Until then we will just have to turn the music a little louder during our family dance parties so he can enjoy it too.


My poor little baby boy did so well!

Why me? Why now? - Curtis' Story

2014-01-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

I am writing this to share my point of view on Gavin’s birth. Not to beat a dead horse, but most people feel for the mother and forget that the father goes through something very difficult as well. So where do I begin? I’m at the hospital the morning before my baby boy is supposed to be delivered. I’m sitting on the couch with my bag of ice down my pants because I just had gotten snipped (Vasectomy) the day before. At the time we thought this was a great idea since we had help for the other two boys and I would be able to rest in the hospital with lots of ice. As the day goes on I’m very anxious and excited about meeting my new baby and then the time finally arrives. When Elizabeth pushes him out, my first thought was what’s wrong with his face? I thought back to when Zachary was born and he had come out with his head shaped like a cone. I asked the doctor “what’s wrong with his head, is it going to stay like that forever?” Then I was informed that this is what happens when they move through the birth canal. Gavin came out head up so his forehead looked very coned shaped. The more I looked at Gavin the more I thought he had something wrong with him. I thought possibly it could be Down syndrome, I mean, I’ve heard about Ds, but never really knew what it was. I really didn’t say much to Liz about it when she asked because I was unsure. His face was really swollen, black and blue so it was hard to tell what was going on.

Elizabeth is a really big worrier, so I kept re-assuring her that nothing was wrong because if I told her that I thought something was wrong she would probably freak out, which she did anyway. The entire time in the hospital baby Gav wasn’t around much due to his jaundice levels being high, but every time a nurse came by I would ask, just to get reassurance that nothing was wrong with my son. I think they knew something was wrong but weren’t allowed to say anything. I felt like they were all thinking something was wrong, but wouldn’t just say it. Then the day we were being discharged, one doctor dropped the bomb on us and said she was leaning towards 75% that he has Ds. We were like “woah! What? how can you be so sure? The first doctor that had examined him said that he had no signs of Ds , except for the eyes. The last day at the hospital Liz’s sisters and my nieces showed up. They were all extremely positive and said “Oh, there is nothing wrong with him, he looks so normal, there is no way he has Ds.” We had the reassurance that we wanted.

When we left the hospital we decided to have his blood cord test for Ds, just to have peace of mind and they said it would be 1 to 2 weeks before we got the results. That week was probably the longest, most emotional week of my life, besides losing my father when I was young. That whole week Liz did so much research on Ds that she could probably be an expert on it, but I didn’t. I was in denial and figured I would find out more if it were necessary. I thought Down syndrome was a severe form of mental illness. I thought it meant he would basically be a vegetable, living in a wheelchair, and not able to care for himself at all. So….the phone call finally came and my heart was pumping out of my chest, palms sweating and nervous as can be. Then the doc said the words Trisomy 21 and that’s all I heard. The rest of the conversation was a blur. Everything she said I answered with yeah, yeah, yeah and nothing else. My head sank into my palms and I didn’t know how to feel. I wanted to cry but I knew I couldn’t because I had to be strong for Liz and the boy’s. I didn’t want to show her that I was weak because I didn’t think she could handle it if she knew I was breaking down.

As the week went on all I could think, all the time was why me? Again? Haven’t I been through enough? Shed enough tears when I lost my father? Why this, why now, how come me again, are you serious? How am I going to handle this? Those were all the questions I kept thinking over and over again. I have never dealt with anything like this before. I mean, I have two healthy little boys, why does Gav have to be different? Why does any child have to be born so different or struggle in life? What did those precious little children do to deserve this? Driving to work a couple times during that week I cried as I thought about my little man and everything he is going to have to go through. I really didn’t know how to handle it. Then I started to focus on the positives. With all of Elizabeth’s research, she had found so many other children with Ds that had major surgeries due to heart issues and digestive issues. I began to feel extremely thankful that he’s healthy, home with us and not in the hospital. Was I still upset? Yeah of course I was! But it could be so much worse…. My heart and prayers goes out to those families that have dealt with multiple surgeries and loss. I can’t imagine.

Fast forward 8 weeks and I am now just focusing on all the positives and living day to day with my little man, Gav, and my two other little men. I try not to think of anything negative and it’s slowly getting better. I have learned so much from that first week and now am educated on what Ds is, and that Gav will be able to do the same things as Zachary and Lukas, he will just do them at a slower pace. We, as a family have no idea what the future holds. All we have is the time here and now. I keep telling Elizabeth, let’s focus on the positives and live day to day and deal with therapies in the future. “Let’s love our little boys and spend as much time with them as we can because they grow up so fast.”

Curtis Woods

"3 Under The Age of 4? Wow, You Must Have Your Hands Full"

2014-01-23T21:23:00.002-08:00

I never planned on having 3 children. We talked about the possibilities but we always said we wanted 2. We also never planned on having 3 so close together, but things happen and apparently God had different plans then our plans once again. Have you ever been in...hmm lets say Walmart, and you are behind a lady with multiple young children? They are screaming, hitting each other, they don't have shoes on...the mom looks like she has been hit by a train and its just complete chaos. You think to yourself that poor woman... does she not know what birth control is? Does she not discipline? Yes! I am sure most of us have thought something similar at some point in our lives. Well fast forward a few years and I am there! I am eating every single word or thought that I have ever had about moms with multiple young children. I can honestly say that I have no idea how moms with multiple children do it. I could barely handle the two I had before Gavin was born. Now that he is here, I am doing all I can to stay afloat. Its not that I don't want to be supermom, but sometimes when I look at these moms with super powers that have all their kids in matching outfits with their initials monogrammed and their hair is done, and their houses are immaculate inside and then they look amazing on top of it, I think...maybe I am just not cut out for this. I like to joke that at least we are all alive at the end of the day and that's what's important.

Just to get a good picture in your mind of what a typical day looks like for me:

After being up most of the night...the only thing that gets me out of the bed in the morning is the thought of a huge cup of coffee, or the screaming kids, or the crying baby who wants to eat. but mostly the coffee. Once I'm up its rush rush rush to get Zachary to preschool. With that being said...i take him in my pajamas 9 times out of 10. For the 3 hours that I am home I am changing diapers, nursing Gavin, or cleaning up after Lukas. Lukas is my busy, stubborn, 2nd born child. He gets into EVERYTHING! Seriously the kid does not play with many toys. His idea of fun is climbing up on the counters, the table, or the pantry shelves. I try to bounce back and forth between him and Gavin but its close to impossible to watch Lukas 24/7.

So that is usually when most of the incidences happen..usually this includes but not limited to him throwing a whole bowl of dog food that was just soaked in the dog water all over the kitchen. Or when he pushes the kitchen chairs all over the house to get what he can't reach and break it. Or when he gets the bag of pretzels out of the pantry and dumps the whole bag, salt and all, on the floor. This morning I found him sitting on the kitchen counter, going through the bag of clementines, biting into them and throwing them when he discovers that the peel does not taste so good. I took him off that counter close to 100 times and he just goes right back to it. So at that point I'm so over wrestling him while I also have a baby literally attached to me, that I let him do it. Then this way its more of a clean up game later.

Once Zachary is home from preschool, the fun continues with " I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm bored, poor me I have no one to play with." After I get all those demands met, 4 o 'clock comes rolling around which is my least favorite time of the day. It never fails... everyday at this time (which I like to call "the witching hour") as I start to make dinner, Lukas decides to have a meltdown. Maybe I am alone on this or maybe it is a universal thing with most kids around dinner time. How do you make dinner when you have a 1 yr old screaming, crying, and pulling on your pants? Curtis tells me to ignore him, but how do you ignore someone who is hanging on to you, screaming your name?

Just as I think my day is almost over, I get the kids in the bathtub thinking this is the second to last stop before I get to have a nice date with some dessert and my couch until something unexpected happens...just like last night. The bathtub was almost filled, the boys had climbed it, and I was undressing Gavin to put him in his own little tub, when "Ahhh!! mom! poop!! Lukas pooped!!" Sure enough, there was Lukas sitting in the poopy water trying to play with it. Bath time quickly turned into shower time.

Silly boys

The reason I wanted to share this with you all is because right now Gavin is an infant...he is no different than any other infant. He eats, sleeps and poops just like any other baby. He is not behind or ahead he's a "normal" baby. However, our journey has just begun...pretty soon all his therapies will start and as he grows, it will become more and more apparent that he is different than our other children. I was already freaking out at the thought of having 3 children under the age of 4 before even knowing of his diagnosis. I am extremely terrified! How am I supposed to raise 3 boys and one having a disability?? With all that I already do, how am I going to find time to squeeze therapy sessions in? and doctors appointments? I become exhausted and overwhelmed just thinking about the future of my sweet little boy. Will he always feel that he has to compete with his older brothers or feel bad that he may not be able to do the things they do? What if other kids make fun of him? Will he be accepted? Will he be able to live independently? What about a school? Job? Who will be here to take care of him after we are gone? These questions flood my head on a daily basis.

Sweet baby Gavin

I keep hearing from people that they are surprised I am handling this so well, and that I seem very strong. Well I am here to tell you that I am NOT strong, and I am not handling this very well, but I have no other choice... I just do it...I handle it the best I can. I have 3 little people who look up to me and NEED ME, so I have to try and be strong for them.

Love these boys

So let me wrap things up there....Is having 3 boys incredibly chaotic? Yes it is... Am I exhausted ALL the time? Yes I am...Do they make me want to hide in a closet, rip out my hair, and drink a whole bottle of wine sometimes? Yes they do! LOL but I love being a mom, and I love my boys with all my heart, and I wouldn't trade this crazy life for anything in the world. As much as I am scared for the future and the hard times that are coming, I am sure as heck going to try my best to succeed as the best mom I can be to these boys, disability or not. I don't need to be supermom, I just need to love and care for them and trust that God will take care of the rest.

Saw this and thought it was hilarious and also appropriate for this post

***Side Note*** I did not create this blog to review products but if I find something that will make my life a little easier or any busy moms life easier, I will definitely share with you all.

Introducing...... The Electrolux 2 in 1 CORDLESS vacuum. The key word here is cordless. I don't know about you, but I take my vacuum out probably 4 times a day, or after every meal and snack. Its not that I hate vacuuming, I just hate the process of taking it out, plugging it in, wrapping the cord back up, etc etc etc... There are many different kinds of cordless vacuums that I am sure work just fine but I decided to go with this 2 in 1 from Target and I LOVE it. It has a stand where you recharge it, and a part of it comes off and acts as a dust buster. Also as a bonus, Target has it on sale right now for $79.99 and if you use your red card you get an additional 5% off. You can access that by clicking here:
Click Here

Update

2014-01-15T18:19:00.001-08:00

This post is to catch you all up to date on all the doctors appointments we have had so far and how Gavin is doing in general... to date he has seen a genetic counselor, a cardiologist, an audiologist and his regular pediatrician all within the last 6 weeks!

We had a great report from the cardiologist and will not have to go back for any future appointments....praise the Lord!

Gavin failed his hearing test in the hospital when he was born so we were referred to an audiologist for further testing. His appointment was 2 weeks ago and he still did not pass :( The test showed that his ears are filled with fluid. This can be a normal thing and drain by itself or he will have to get tubes put in when he is 6 months old. We have another appointment at the end of this month where they will test and see if they can bypass the fluid and see if there are any issues with his inner ear. We are very optimistic that he doesn't have permanent hearing loss since he does startle at loud noises. The audiologist believes that the fluid is just creating a buffer and everything sounds muffled to him.

He has no problems with nursing, and is actually doing extremely well.... maybe even a little too well (he is getting to be quite the little chunker).

In a few weeks we are hoping to start early intervention therapies. These will include physical therapy, occupational therapy, and eventually speech therapy.

For now we are just trying to enjoy our sweet little baby boy.

Newborn photos by Kristen Pace Photography

Oh! I almost forgot...how are Zachary and Lukas adjusting to their new little brother? They are doing just fine. Zachary is such a great little helper... bringing me diapers and wipes, getting me water, and giving Gavin lots of hugs and kisses. Lukas has been a little jealous of having to share mommy with someone else but he is becoming more welcoming everyday and loves to give "baby" kisses as well.

Zachary is such a proud big bro

Lukas loving on his "baby"

The Day Our Lives Changed Forever

2014-01-15T16:52:00.002-08:00

Thinking back to the time that we were waiting on the results of the test is very upsetting to me. So many emotions mixed with lack of sleep is not the best combo. Most of what I remember was lots of tears and lots of researching. I probably "googled" most of the day, everyday. We played the whole "he's got it, no he doesn't, yes he does, no he doesn't" game the entire week. I actually remember being very upset because I feel like I was robbed. I was robbed of the joy and happiness you feel when you first give birth. I wasn't able to enjoy my brand new baby because every time I looked at him, all I could think was DOWN SYNDROME. Since there are many signs of Down Syndrome, and because Gavin only had a few of those (small ears, small slanted eyes, brushfield spots in his eyes), it was difficult to say either way. The doctors were not sure even sure one way or the other. There was one doctor who specializes in Down Syndrome at our ped's office who looked him over and said he was positive he DID NOT have it because his muscle tone is pretty good for an infant. The only way of knowing 100% was this blood test we were waiting on. All we could do was pray and pray and pray some more.

It was a Friday, and I had been out shopping with my mom and Gavin, when I saw I had a voicemail. It was the pediatrician and she said she had the results. I instantly felt sick and our shopping trip was cut short so we could rush home. I called and left a message for her to call us back since she was with patients. When the phone rang, and I saw the number, I threw the phone to Curtis and told him to answer because I just could not do it. He went into the office and closed the door. I sat in our living room shaking. My heart was beating so loud I could hear it in my ears. My palms were sweaty and I felt like I was about to pass out. I wanted so bad for him to come out of that office with a huge smile on his face and tell me that everything was fine, but he didn't. After what seemed like an eternity, I opened the office door and there sat Curtis, all bent over with his head in his hands. I knew right then and fell to the floor. "Why me? Why me God? Why did you choose me to have a child with a disability?" I felt like God was punishing for something. Being only 29 years old when I became pregnant means that I had approximately 1 out of 1200 chances of having a child with down syndrome. So yes.... I was very confused as to why I was chosen. On top of all those feelings I felt like I was mourning. Did my baby die? NO!!! but to be completely honest, I was hurt and angry and I felt like I had actually lost my child. I was mourning the loss of him. My vision of this beautiful, healthy, "normal" baby was gone, poof, just like that.

I have learned so much from that day. Is this what we had planned? No, but sometimes our plans are not God's plans and we have to accept that. I've been struggling with this for awhile now but little by little I am understanding that Down Syndrome is not a bad thing, it's just different. Our lives are not over...we are just taking another path. I read a story that really clarified things for me and opened my eyes to understanding what this meant. It's called Welcome to Holland, by Emily Perl Kingsley and you can read it here: http://www.ndss.org/Resources/New-Expectant-Parents/A-Parents-Perspective/#sthash.dXZyHwRN

Sometimes I get so caught up in the diagnosis that I forget to look at the big picture here. Although he has this diagnosis, he is a beautiful, healthy baby boy, with no major health conditions. This is something that I am extremely grateful for. A little under half of children born with Down Syndrome have some sort of heart defect...some being so major they require open heart surgery. A few days before Christmas we met with the cardiologist and Gavin had an EKG which showed that his heart was perfect. This was the best Christmas present we could ever ask for.

Merry Christmas (a little late) from our family to yours

***

- See more at: http://www.ndss.org/Resources/New-Expectant-Parents/A-Parents-Perspective/#sthash.dXZyHwRN.dpuf

***

- See more at: http://www.ndss.org/Resources/New-Expectant-Parents/A-Parents-Perspective/#sthash.dXZyHwRN.dpuf

Gavin's Birth Story (Read first)

2014-01-14T19:31:00.001-08:00

Let me start off by saying that I am not a woman that likes to be pregnant. Did I hate being pregnant with my first two sons??? No, but I STRONGLY disliked it. This last time I can honestly say that I was completely miserable. There were no serious life threatening complications, but to me they were close enough. I had all the usual pregnancy symptoms: nausea, headaches, varicose veins, but on top of those I had severe pubic symphysis dysfunction(your pubic bone separates more than its supposed to) where I could barely walk. I was borderline diabetic so I had to watch everything I ate (extremely hard to do, if you know how much I love sugar), and Gavin was in a breech position. So after having two vaginal deliveries, I would be having a c-section with my last. My doctor suggested that I try a version. This is where they manually try to manipulate the baby from the outside, and try to turn him head down. Basically one doctor pushes and the other one pulls. It feels like someone is ripping your insides out..no joke. The version was successful and I was thrilled since the success rate is not very good. I thought, finally, something is going my way.

One week later I was induced, which was the longest week of my life since I was scared to let my body be in any other position except an upright one, so he wouldn't turn around again. Finally it was go time and we were in the hospital at 6am starting the pitocin drip. It ended up being a very emotional day. His heart rate kept dropping and then it would stabilize and then drop again. The nurse would flip me onto my side in hopes that I was just lying on his umbilical cord. Then it would drop suddenly again and they would turn off the pitocin and give him a break. I had to wear an oxygen mask to hopefully give him some more oxygen inside. It felt like 1 step forward and 2 back. It was very scary not knowing if at any time I would have to be rushed away for an emergency c-section. This continued all day. Even after my water broke, the little booger was still so far up and would not drop down! My doctor checked and said his head was lodged and stuck on my pubic bone and that was the reason for the hold up. She said we should try and push to see if he would dis-lodge. 2 pushes later, he shot out.

The first time they laid him up on top of me I had a very strange feeling. This wasn't my baby. Not the baby I imagined! He was extremely swollen, one side of his face looked like someone had beat him it was purple and blue. His forehead protruded and his face was so swollen that I could barely see his eyes. I kept asking over and over again, "is there something wrong with him?? He is not crying!" But they kept reassuring me that everything was fine... he was in a face up presentation when he came out so it was normal to look that way. Besides the swelling he was perfectly healthy.

Here he is all red and swollen

His forehead was protruding and extremely black and blue

This is my exhausted, worried, know something is wrong face

And here he is Gavin Xavier Woods, weighing in at 7lbs 2 oz. 19.5 inches long

The next day his billirubin shot up pretty quickly and they wanted him under the lights for 24 hours. I was only able to try and nurse him for 30 minutes when they brought him to me every 3 hours. Under this demand it is almost impossible to feed a jaundiced, sleeping newborn. This was very frustrating to me but I kept thinking to myself...tomorrow we will be going home. Tomorrow comes (Thanksgiving Day) and no turkey for me :( The doc wants us to stay one more night. The next day is sort of a blur to me.... We were waiting to be discharged and in walks the pediatrician to tell us that his levels had dropped and that we were free to go. We were so ready to go home and see our other boys, when all of a sudden she continues with.... "However, I think you should consider having Gavin tested. He is showing a few signs of Down Syndrome." My heart drops....Can you repeat that? She continues.. "I am about 50/50 and leaning more towards 75% that he has it." The tears started flowing down my face. I had no words (which is rare for me)...all I could do was cry. I felt myself become anxious and worrisome. I wanted to throw up. She came over patted me on my shoulder and said that she knows it must be hard and would I like something to calm me down. "Yes Please!" I do not remember a lot after this. My sisters and nieces came to bring me home and to just be there with me. The doctor said they would send out a blood sample from his umbilical cord and we should here back within 10 days. That was that...we left not knowing what was going on or what we should be feeling or what was wrong/if anything, with our son.

This was the day we came home from the hospital

The next 10 days were the longest, confusing, most terrifying days of our lives.....